A/N:This was a request from the lovely @pzb2006 who asked for an imagine about a girl names Paris who was in Italy while Harry was shooting for his Golden music video and he wanted her number.
Thank you so much for your patience, and I hope you enjoy!!
Warnings:None
Word Count: 3,874
Requests are OPEN! If you have a request for a blurb, oneshot, imagine, whatever, Send me a messageHERE!!!
Friendly reminder to please like and/or reblog. It helps more than you think :)
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Paris was never a particularly adventurous girl, she always wished to be and fantasized about a life of excitement and travel, but she was sure she would be doomed to boredom for the rest of her life. Nothing exciting ever happened to her. It was like she lived her life like the movie Groundhog Day, the same day repeating over and over and over. She was sick of it. And it was on her eleventh straight day of eating the same, boring old cereal for breakfast when she decided she needed a change.
Immediately, she began to do research. At first, she was thinking of something more local; maybe a trip to the city, or the beach. Then she started to broaden her search. Maybe something on the opposite coast. That could be exciting. But, then she paused. If she was going to go on an adventure, she wanted to make it big. She decided to explore the idea of another country. There were so many to choose from. Africa always sounded interesting Then there was Greece; she’s wanted to go there since she was little and watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And, of course, there was Paris, the city of which she was named after. The City of Light.
But only one country stood out to her. Italy. She found herself constantly circling back to Italy, imagining herself strolling along the Amalfi coast and having lunch, alone, in the park. Meeting some mysterious and handsome Italian boy in the shops along the cobblestone. Relaxing alone along the shoreline, watching the sunset. It sounded like a dream. And finally, she booked a flight for her week-long vacation.
Paris spent the first day exploring the ruins of Pompeii and getting warped into the history of the city. She spent the second day at the beaches of Sorrento, letting the sun kiss her skin and the calming water rinse her of her worries. On the third day, she woke up energized, excited for her full day ahead. Paris enjoyed waking up knowing there was no set-schedule, nowhere she had to be at a certain time. She could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.
In the morning, she took a stroll from her Airbnb to a little coffee shop down the street, deciding to have her little pastry and coffee outside on the patio, again, letting the warmth of the sunshine on her face. She stayed there for an hour, watching the locals walk by, smiling and laughing at each other. Everyone here seemed to be full of life and love; they all seemed genuinely happy. And, at this moment, so was she.
After breakfast, she decided to walk around some more. She visited shop after shop, never buying anything, but making mental notes on shops she wanted to return to before leaving to grab a few souvenirs. Finally, she ended up in a quaint, local grocery shop. Paris had every intention of just grabbing a few things to make back at her Airbnb, but when she saw the picnic basket, her plans changed. She wanted to have a picnic at the park across the street from where she was staying. It was the whole reason she booked it in the first place. It was large and spacious with beautiful cyprus and fruit trees scattered about, overlooking the ocean. And from what she could tell, hardly anyone ever went there. It sounded heavenly.
She went about the grocery store picking up way too much food for one person. How could she not? Everything looked so much better in Italy. Strawberries, a sandwich, pastries, soft pretzels, cookies, and two bottles of water. There was no way she’d be able to eat everything, but she’d sure give it her best shot. But first, she needed to stop by her place. Although it was warm, she thought it would be a good idea to grab a light sweater, just in case. Besides, there was a book in her luggage that she fancied a read, and this would be the perfect opportunity.
Her stomach grumbled when she finally got through the door of her lodgings. ****** Better make this quick, she thought, ******* I’m starving. She set everything down on the dining room table as she hurriedly rummaged through her belongings for a sweater and her book. She upturned everything, unsure of where they were when she remembered leaving them both out on the balcony the night before. As soon as she grabbed it, she flung her sweater over her shoulder, palmed the book, and shoved a pair of sunglasses on top of her head before rushing in, grabbing the picnic basket full of food, and heading out the door.
Paris fast-walked down the cobblestone hill, hiking the sweater that was slipping down her one shoulder while trying to carry the heavy basket and book with both hands as her sunglasses wobbled further down her head, practically sitting on her forehead, now. There was a crowd of mostly girls lining the road at the end of the street, all looking in one direction. ***** Maybe there’s a parade, she thought to herself as she neared, closer.
There was no time to stop and watch, the basket was getting heavier and she was certain she would burst if she didn’t get food in her soon. As she reached the crowd of girls, she noticed a red convertible mustang drive past with people hanging out the back and sides of it. The girls began to scream and jump up and down. Paris tried to look over the heads of the girls, but couldn’t see anyone else coming and figured it was a good opportunity to cross the road.
She squeezed through the crowd but was grabbed at and bumped by the girls, making her sunglasses fall lopsided over her face, tripping off of the curb and sending her book and picnic basket crashing to the ground, her food, which was thankfully wrapped, spread across the road. Hurriedly, she bent down, pushing her sunglasses back and attempting to collect all of her things as gasps, screams, and incoherent Italian babbling sounded behind her, not wanting to be in the way of the parade when it eventually made its way to her when a shadow blocked the sun from her eyes and a large, veiny hand held out her book.
“Are you alright?” she heard a deep, soft voice speak in clear English.
Paris tilted her head up and squinted, freezing for a moment as the condensation from her cold bottle of water trickled down her hand and onto the pavement. Suddenly the line of giddy girls made sense. It wasn’t a parade, it was Harry Styles. Quickly, Paris got to her feet, grabbing the red bound book from his grasp as she tucked hair behind her ear.
“I’m so sorry, I thought it was a parade. My sunglasses fell off my head and I couldn’t see and I tripped off the sidewalk, I’ll probably have to throw out my cookie,” Paris trailed until she heard Harry chuckled and put a warm hand on her shoulder which made her stop. She hadn’t realized until then that he was panting and a little sweaty, but his curls were still perfectly intact.
“No worries,” he reassured her, “Let me help.”
He bent down with her to collect her things as girls just stood back, giggling, and taking pictures. Harry did his best to entertain them, saying hello and responding quickly to things they shouted out like ‘how are you?’ and ‘I love you’ all while carefully placing her sweets and food back in her picnic basket.
When they had gotten the last soft pretzel in, Harry took hold of the basket and stood up, “I’ve got it,” he offered, giving her a nod that made her know that it was okay for her to follow him.
He waved goodbye to the girls that stood off to the side of the road and slowly walked down the middle of the street where, just yards away, that red mustang was idling with several men and a camera strapped to the back of it waited. He held a hand up with his finger waving to signal that he just needed a minute as he helped her cross the street.
“There’s a lot of food on this. Is it just you?” he asked.
Paris blushed, shoving her glasses back on top of her head, “Yeah. My eyes are bigger than my stomach.”
He chuckled again, stepping up on the curb, “You’re not from around here?”
She shook her head, “No, I’m from the states. Just needed to get away for a bit, so I took a solo trip. It’s my first time here.”
His eyebrows raised, pursing his lips in intrigue, “I took a solo trip once. Probably one of the best vacations I’ve ever been on.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to feel that way,” she bit her lip to hide her smile, looking down at her feet. Her butterflies were going berserk, trying to figure out if this was real, or not.
Harry smiled, looking down at her as they slowly walked down the sidewalk, side by side. She was quite beautiful, with soft skin and a bright smile, and her eyes reflected the light in a way that reminded him of stained glass. He nudged her a little, joking, “Don’t look down. That’s how you tripped in the first place.”
She let out a breathy laugh, looking up at him, “I think I’m just inherently clumsy.”
He grinned, keeping his eyes on her as they walked before he realized that he probably shouldn’t stare and looked straight ahead, asking, “So where are you headed with all this food?”
She nodded her head and pointed a little further ahead at the path that led into the park, “Just in there. Was going to find a tree to sit under for some shade and have some lunch.”
“Ah. Lunch and a view,” he noticed the sea waves crashing into the coast just below the cliffs, “Sounds wonderful,” he stopped as they reached the path, looking down at the basket with food, “Well, save me a pastry. In case I see you again,” he handed the basket over to her.
She giggled, taking it from him and heaving it into the crook of her arm, “Thanks. Sorry again. Have fun doing…..whatever it is you’re doing,” she motioned to the mustang.
He laughed, walking backward and waving, “I’ll try. Bye, it was nice meeting you!”
With a tight-lipped grin, she nodded, watched for a second longer, and turned to make her way down the path. But with the loud, echoing sound of his voice, she heard him yell, “Wait! What’s your name?”
She turned, laughing, and shouting, “Paris!”
“Paris,” she barely heard him repeat as his smile widened toothily and he shouted back, “See you later, Paris! Don’t forget! I want that pastry!” And with one last wave, he took off down the street, running as his puffy white top flowed and rippled behind him.”
A few girls ran up to her right after he left and asked her what he said, but there wasn’t much to tell. When they realized she didn’t have much information, they all stuck around for about an hour longer, waiting, in hopes that he’d come back. And as she ate her lunch, even she found herself looking around for any signs of him. After a while, she realized he probably wasn’t going to be back and attempted to read her book, but it was next to impossible to focus on any of the words after that.
The girls eventually left and Paris was one of the few people left in the area, leaning against the tree, picking at the strawberries beside her, book unread and open on her lap as she stared out at the ocean. She could hear a little dog barking in the distance, birds tweeting as they swirled in the air, the rustling of leaves as the ocean air blew through them, and the soft sounds of waves crashing against the shore. She had never been so relaxed before in her life.
She must have zoned out and been there for hours because by the time she came-to and something was trying to get her attention, it looked as though the sun would be starting to set shortly. Her name was being called, echoing somewhere behind her. She straightened up, hearing the ruffling of feet against the grass and twigs, turning, only to see Harry Styles making his way over in a hoodie, shades, and carrying a lump of fabric.
He smiled when they made eye contact, and as they approached, he held up the lump of blue and white fabric in his hands. “Blanket. Noticed you didn’t have one earlier and didn’t trust it to not be muddy.”
Paris smiled, standing up and moving out of the way so that he could lay the blanket out. And with a shake, he spread it out evenly on the first try.
“Was hoping you’d still be here,” Harry admitted, sitting down on one side of the blanket with a grunt, “I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time.”
Paris blushed, reaching into the picnic basket and pulling out the now-cold pastry, “Couldn’t leave you hangin’.”
Harry’s eyes lit up, taking hold of the pastry and ripping a piece off, handing it to her before taking a bite. Moaning, he muttered, “These are my favorite pastries here. Still good, even if it’s been sitting out for hours.”
She smiled, staring at him in wonder. How was this happening? Why was this happening? She relaxed her shoulders, leaning back against the tree with her legs stretched in front of her, shoes off as they had been for hours now, looking down at both of their feet with the sea landscape before them.
“So, why are ***** you here?” Paris asked, turning to him, “I mean, clearly you’re not here on a solo vacation.”
He smiled, taking the last bite of his pastry and swallowing it down, “I’m shooting a music video.”
Paris nodded, trying to hold back a smile, and reaching for the spare bottle of water to offer him, “Makes sense. All the cameras, and the unnecessary running down the street in puffy white shirts.”
Harry chuckled, taking hold of the water, “Well, why are ***** you here? You said you needed to get away? What from?”
Paris shrugged, letting her head fall back on the tree and picking at the strawberries again, “It was just getting boring. I was living the same day on repeat for months, it seems. The same boring desk job, the same boring town, with the same boring people. I just needed to get out of there for a little before I went stir-crazy.”
Harry nodded, understandingly, “I’ve been on the go for so long that it’s almost impossible to stay still for too long. Sometimes it’s nice to sit and do nothing somewhere **** else. Somewhere that’s not home.”
Paris twisted her head in his direction to see he was sitting just like her, their shoulders touching. They didn’t say anything, but their eyes seemed to share the same understanding. It was so easy to be caught up in day-to-day life; doing what you’re told and switching to autopilot just to get through it. But it was times like these that made you sit back and just enjoy life for what it is and what it could be; beautiful.
Harry watched as a soft, closed smile stretched across Paris’ face and he felt his stomach start to do flips. This was new to him. He had never been so forward before. Sure, he’s gone back to places in hopes to get a girl’s number. But he’s never felt this inclined to stay and talk. Heck, they could sit there in silence, for all he cared. But something about her seemed to make his stress vanish.
He suddenly didn’t have to worry about waking up at the ass crack of dawn to continue shooting, he didn’t have to worry about the twelve-or-so people back at the rental who was probably waiting for him to get back or the dozens of emails he needed to respond to. He didn’t need to worry about the multiple contracts that still needed his revision and approval, and the legal battles he was in the middle of, and he didn’t have to worry about being seen by fans. Who cared? They weren’t important. This was. Sitting on a blanket, underneath a bug-infested tree, watching the sunset over the sea with a stranger.
They chatted for an hour about life and goals. Harry was a dreamer, and so was she. There were many things they wanted to do or accomplish, some much bigger than others. But, it seemed as though there was always something getting in the way. Paris wanted to get out of her small town and travel more. She couldn’t do it often; finances and lack of time off from work made it difficult, but if this trip taught her anything, it was that she needed to take time for herself.
Harry, on the other hand, wanted to do so much more with his time in the way of helping out any way he can. Wanting to volunteer to help out on trips to third-world countries and set up his own charities to help those less fortunate. Paris wasn’t exactly surprised by all of this, but still found it refreshing to hear his passion for it. It truly was something so heartwarming.
“How much longer are you here for, Paris?” he asked, digging into the container of strawberries that Paris had set between them.
Paris set the leafy bit of her strawberry on the container’s lid while she swallowed her food and muttered, “Three more days,” clearing her throat and turning her head to his she frowned, “Not nearly long enough.”
He nodded, solemnly, “It’s never long enough here. Funny, though. I leave in three days.”
“Yeah? What are you doing for the rest of your trip?”
“Well, I’ve got to finish shooting this music video, but I’ve got nothing planned tomorrow night. If you’re not busy, maybe I can treat you to dinner? As a, uh, thank you for saving me your pastry?”
Paris looked down at her feet, smiling shyly, before looking up, trying not to seem too enthusiastic as she nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear, “Yeah, sure. That’d be nice.”
He nodded, smiling himself, “Great. Do you, uh,” he cleared his throat, “have your phone on you?”
Paris perked up, feeling around her pockets and rummaging through the picnic basket before closing her eyes and sighing, “I left it in my room.”
He smirked, furrowing his eyebrows, “You’ve gone hours not realizing you didn’t have your phone?”
She shrugged, laughing, “I’ve been distracted by the sea.”
He chuckled, shaking his head and pulling his phone out of his pocket, glancing to see the dozens of missed texts and calls he had received since getting here. He groaned, mumbling under his breath as he scrolled through his apps until he reached his contacts, “I should probably get going soon. Do you know your number?” he asked, handing it over to her.
Paris took hold of his phone, the latest and greatest, not a scratch on it. And as she began to input her information into it, her mind raced. She was holding Harry Styles’ phone. She was holding his phone because he wanted her number. He wanted her number so that he could call or text her. He wanted to call or text her so that he could take her out to dinner tomorrow. Harry Styles was taking her on a date tomorrow. Was it a date? Or was it just a casual dinner? What was running through his mind right now? Did he like her? He must, why else would he take her out to dinner? Did he think she was cute? Would he try to kiss her tomorrow? Would she see him again after that?
She handed his phone back and he grinned, hesitating for a moment before asking, “Should we take a picture? Capture this moment? It’s golden hour in Italy. Seems fitting for the occasion.”
Paris grinned, nodding, “Yeah, sure.”
The two shuffled about on his blanket so that their back was towards the ocean, huddling in close. Harry pressed his shoulder to her back and bent his head down so close to hers that their cheeks were touching. She could smell his shampoo and musky cologne, she could feel the warmth from his body on hers. They smiled as he positioned the phone in front of them and double-tapped the camera button, taking two pictures.
“One more. A silly one,” he said.
She giggled, sticking her tongue out and scrunching her nose while Harry puffed up his cheeks and pursed his lips, clicking the button once more. He brought the phone down and turned to her, grinning.
“Thanks for letting me join you on this picnic,” he grinned.
She nodded, getting to her knees before standing up, Harry following suit, “Yeah, of course. Thanks for bringing the blanket.”
Harry chuckled, helping her pack her things back into the picnic basket while she folded the blanket nicely for him. He carried the basket while she hugged the blanket as they slowly strolled back towards the front of the park. The little dog was gone, now, and the only people in sight were an older couple on a park bench too far away to see clearly.
“I’m parked just over here,” Harry motioned to the left, “Can I give you a ride back?”
They stopped walking as they reached the entrance and Paris turned to him, shaking her head, “Oh, no, that’s alright. I can walk. I’m only two blocks that way,” she pointed to the right, grinning.
He nodded, not saying a word as they stood there for a moment. Finally, he held her basket up for her. She smiled, taking hold and swapping him with his blanket, “See you tomorrow?” he verified.
Paris let out a breathy laugh as she confirmed, “See you tomorrow.”
Harry smiled wider, outstretching an arm and giving her a tight, warm, side-hug before pulling away and walking backward, waving, “Bye, Paris.”
She grinned, waving back before she began her trek back to her Airbnb. She turned back to look only once to see Harry, who had been just sitting in his car for a couple of minutes, start up his car and drive off in the opposite direction. Paris twirled and giggled on her walk back, the smile never leaving her face.
When she finally got back to her lodgings, she dropped everything on the dining room table, racing to her room to find her phone, wanting to see if Harry had texted her at all. And, to her astonishment, she had one missed text from an unknown number, opening it to see one picture of her and Harry Styles smiling, and a second picture of them making goofy faces, with a text underneath that read ‘Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Love, H.’.
Type-Multiple blurbs, but in total word count, they make a One-Shoty blurb. So, consider this a One-Shoty Blurb!
Verse- Model!Harry x Fashion-Designer!Y/n
Word Count- 1.6k
Warnings- Slight smut. Not proofread.
A/n- I had been planning this one for days but when the teaser came out, the inspo hit.
Sort of a description- Harry is a model and doing a photoshoot, and the clothes are obviously designed by the woman we all love, Y/n. Hahah xD Also, this one includes the dazed photoshoots, as well as what he wore in the teaser, so let’s assume that all of these are for the same: Dazed (including the teaser one <3).
A sigh leaves Y/n’s mouth from the back of her throat as her mouth hangs wide open, eyes never seeming to leave the beauty that just walked in and is standing parallel to the doorframe.
“Y- you look, oh- ugh, oh my lord. You look so pretty,” she trailed off, standing up from where she had sat down on the wooden floor due to the chair being full of Harry’s home clothes he had arrived on the shoot wearing. And then again, it’s a dressing room, you can’t expect it to have ten chairs and three sofas.
The sofa being full of the next clothes he’s gonna wear, is just whole another story.
Y/n walks towards him, eyes glued to his frame as he poses for her. “You look gorgeous, Harry. Just the way I had wanted you to look,” she says, her hands coming to touch him.
She slowly slides her hand all over his body, checking out her work on him, or checking out him in her work, she’s not quite sure.
“Harry! Everyone’s ready!” The photographer calls for him.
The Designer was about to kiss him good luck when she halts her actions. “Holy- wait a second,” she asks, causing him to chuckle as she rushes towards the tiny desk in the room and fishes out a few things from her purse.
“Here,” she quickly applies some of her lip-balm on his lips, and yells that Harry is going out there in 5 to the crew, in the process.
Very frantically but smoothly, she draws a thin line of black eyeliner towards the end and just above his pretty eyes-lashes. She moves back a bit to observe her work and checks everything out as the makeup artist had already worked on him.
She just hopes that they won’t get mad, the make-up artist.
A sloppy smile stretches out on her lips. “You’re good now. Look like an absolute angel,” she admits, kissing the tip of his nose.
A/N: Apologies for the wait! Here’s the new Deep End chapter :) Also I wanna share some good news that I submitted a different version of Deep End for my final submission of my Creative Writing MA and I got the highest grade in my class! Thank you for supporting this series and these characters. It means a lot to me.
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When she made it all the way down the steps, she found Koa waiting for her by the front gate. A taxi was waiting for them. Ezili wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket and eyed her sister up and down. Koa was wearing a bright orange dress that looked too big for her. How was she not freezing?
“Did you–”
“No, I didn’t kill anyone for this.” Koa rolled her eyes. “I bought it with the paper notes I stole from that lady sitting by the station.”
“You stole money from a homeless person?!”
Koa shrugged. “It’s just paper. It’s everywhere.”
Ezili rolled her eyes and grabbed her sister’s elbow. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
“Ezili, wait!”
“Oh, God,” Ezili groaned. She knew whom that voice belonged to without turning around.
“Wait, that’s your other human boy,” Koa exclaimed. Ezili put her hand on Koa’s head and shoved her into the back of the taxi. Dawson rushed down the steps of the mansion and strode towards them.
“Where are you ladies going?” asked the taxi driver.
Ezili asked him to give them a few minutes, then grabbed Dawson’s arms as soon as he came close. “Dawson, you need to go back inside.”
“Ezili, what happened?” Dawson asked, panting. Then he saw Koa, and his eyes widened. “Dolores?”
Koa waved at him, a wicked grin on her face. Ezili tugged at his arms to turn his attention back on her. “She’s not Dolores. She’s my sister.”
“What?” He looked at her as if he believed she was telling a joke.
“You need to go back inside. I’m so sorry I cannot explain everything to you.” She tried to spin him around, yet he refused to follow.
“Ezili, what’s going on?” His eyes shifted back and forth between her and Koa. “Did Harry do something?”
“No.” Ezili sighed. She wished she could tell Dawson everything, but when she closed her eyes, she could see Harry’s disgusted expression back in that room. She didn’t want Dawson to look at her that way, too. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Go where?”
“Hurry. Mother’s waiting,” Koa hissed.
Ezili threw her arms around Dawson’s neck and felt his body go rigid as she hugged him. She kissed his cheek, probably the first and last one she could ever give him, then quickly got into the taxi and shut the door.
“Wait!” Dawson tapped frantically on the window, but she refused to look at him.
“To the giant bridge with lots of lights,” Koa told the driver, who seemed confused.
“You mean the Tower Bridge?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Yeah, that! I think…”
“Oh, are you girls tourists.”
“Just drive, you–”
Ezili slapped a hand over Koa’s face and faked a smile at the surprised man. “Yeah, it’s the Tower Bridge.”
The driver nodded, probably thinking Koa was drunk so he didn’t ask further questions and started the engine. Ezili didn’t look out the window when the taxi headed towards the gate, leaving the mansion. However, she imagined Dawson watching her go with pain in his eyes, and Harry, somewhere inside, probably still sitting in that chair, was relieved that she was finally gone.
A/N: ceorry is finally here with plus size reader!! hope you guys will love it, i really enjoyed writing this and i can’t wait to read your thoughts!
WORD COUNT: 13.7k
WARNING: sexual content, struggle with body image
SUMMARY: You’re about to start your business as an interior designer. Thanks to your best friend, your first client turns out to be none other than Harry Styles, the insanely handsome and stupidly rich business man.
The front door shuts closed behind you just as Bianca drops the spoon she was holding into her bowl of ice-cream upon hearing your announcement and before she could even speak up you continue.
“And I think Vincent and I kinda broke up.”
She coughs with wide eyes, placing her bowl to the coffee table as she moves to one side of the couch.
“There’s a lot to unpack there, come on, sit down and tell me about it all!” she urges and sighing you drop your bag by the front door and walk over to her, collapsing onto the couch after what felt like the worst day of your life so far.
You eye the ice-cream Bianca just discarded and you feel like you could inhale it in one go so you point at it turning towards your best friend and flatmate.
“Can I eat that?” you sigh with a frown.
“Uh, sure, go ahead! Seems like you need it more than I do.”
You dig into it right away, drowning everything that happened today in the sweet, creamy, icy dessert. You eat it way too fast so you get an instant brain freeze, but in your current state it’s not even that painful.
“So, what happened?” Bianca asks cautiously.
“Um, well, my boss threw out the window everything I worked on the past month and wanted me to start over so I had enough and quit,” you start with the first part of your announcements.
“It’s kind of good, isn’t it? I mean, you hated working there and you’ve been thinking about leaving for a while.”
“Yeah, but not this abruptly. I knew I wouldn’t work at fucking Ikea forever, but it would have been nice if I had a full plan before quitting.”
Shoving one spoon full of ice-cream after the other into your mouth you try to keep yourself together and not think about how uncertain your life has just become. Everything you had and thought to be stable a few days ago is now gone.
“You’ll figure it out. You can finally start your own business, like you always wanted!” B tries to cheer you up.
“Yeah, I guess,” you shrug, still focusing on the ice-cream.
“I’ll help you, okay? I have some connections, it’ll be fine.”
“Thanks,” you sigh with a weak smile.
“Okay, now onto the next thing, what did that scumbag Vincent do?”
Bianca has never been a big fan of your… who was even Vincent? You never agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, just acted like it, but every time you tried to bring it up he just dodged it. And because having someone was more than having no one, you went with it and stayed quiet. But lately things have been rockier and you’ve had enough.
“He… He sent me a text with a picture that was definitely not meant for me.”
“What?” she gasps. “What did he send?”
“A picture of a lingerie set and the text said he can’t wait to see me in it. The set was for a woman who is the size of my arm, B.”
You almost fainted in the kitchen section when you saw it, had to hide behind one of the displays to pull yourself together and not have a meltdown in the middle of Ikea. You had to wait until your lunch break to call him and question what it was about, it turned into a screaming match and at the end he just saved his ass by saying you were never exclusive so it’s not cheating.
Then you told him to go fuck himself and all of his side bitches and ended the call. Two hours later you also quit your job, so it’s a miracle you’re not crying like a baby right now.
“Fucking hell, I always knew he was a pig. But you’re better off without him, he never appreciated you enough.” Bianca circles an arm around your shoulders as she brings you closer to her and you lean into her, spooning the rest of the ice-cream into your mouth.
“I think he always had an issue with my looks,” you mumble.
“Because he is a fucking assturd, that’s his issue,” Bianca scoffs and the way she says assturd always gets to you, so you can’t help, but laugh. “There’s nothing wrong with your looks, you look fucking sexy, don’t let an idiot make you think otherwise.”
“Maybe I should go on a diet again. Last time I lost a few pounds, so…” Placing the empty bowl to the coffee table guilt washes over you for eating the ice-cream.
“Fuck no! There’s no diet in this house!” Bianca protests. “You know what? We’ll go for a pamper day tomorrow and then the day after we’ll start to work on your business. Update your portfolio, I already have a few people in mind who would be open to hiring you.”
“I don’t want to put you into extra work, B. You have enough work at the firm.”
“It’s not work, and you’re not putting me into anything. I offered it so just take it. Alright, now let’s watch a movie to cheer you up and never talk about Ike or Vincent again.”
You know Bianca has connections in circles that fall way out of your league. She’d done all kinds of hostess works during college and she made an advantage out of them for herself, networking and connecting with the right people, building herself relationships in fields you can only dream of stepping foot into. She’s been going to business dinners and high end bars with people that hold the kind of power a normal person can’t even imagine. She has dragged you to some outings as well, mostly where drinking was included and whenever she mentioned the name of the places your eyes fell out of their sockets.
“B, I cannot pay for a night there, I would end up just drinking tap water in the restroom!” you protested, but she just rolled her eyes.
“We are not paying a penny. Everything is covered, we’re gonna be guests!”
And that’s exactly what happened. Your money remained in your purse while the drinks just kept coming and coming. During these occasions you got to see what she’s like around these men. It was always obvious they saw her as just an eye candy and nothing more, a pretty woman they can walk in with and earn jealous glances and they probably never even realized how smart she really is, working at an all women law firm. Whenever business talk started and she could chip in once legal topics were touched, she impressed them all with her knowledge and she knew they would be calling her soon, willing to pay any amount just to have her work with them.
Bianca is naturally confident and the kind of woman every man stares at when she walks into a room. But she never makes other women feel less, what’s more, she can go absolutely feral when someone treats a woman in her presence less just because they don’t find her that pretty or charming.
One time, when you were freshmen in college you were out at a bar near campus. A guy came up to the two of you and very obviously tried to flirt with Bianca, completely ignoring your presence. He didn’t last more than five minutes before she grilled him so badly he walked away without a single word, never even glancing her way for the rest of the night.
So when she told you about this “friend” of hers who might be interested in your work, you knew it would be some prestigious businessman, one of the big fish, but now as you’re nearing the office building that towers above most of the city’s other skyscrapers, you can feel your stomach churning. This is not just a big fish, this might be a whole shark and you might not survive a meeting with him after all.
Walking into the lobby you’re met with a modern design, it’s spacious and minimalistic, but also kind of welcoming, makes you want to linger around longer. You approach the front desk where a woman with a headset smiles at you, her makeup and outfit absolutely spotless and suddenly you feel underdressed compared to her.
“Good morning, how can I help you?” she asks in a nice, warm tone.
“Hi, I-I’m here for an appointment with Mr. Styles?” you tell her, already cursing yourself out for making it sound like a question, as if she knew why you were here.
“May I ask your name, please?” she turns to the computer, her fingers already typing away on the keypad.
“It’s Y/N Y/L/N.”
She hums, her eyes glued to the screen, the smile never leaving her features. A few more clicks and she turns back to you.
“Welcome, Miss Y/L/N. Mr. Styles will see you in a few minutes, would you be so kind and go to the 78th floor? They will be already waiting for you. Elevators are on your right,” she instructs, gesturing towards the three elevators.
“Thank you,” you nod breathing out the words before making your way to the elevators.
People come and go, you’re not the only one waiting at the elevators, but you’re definitely the odd one out. The blue midi dress Bianca urged you to wear is out of your comfort zone and you feel like it’s tighter around your curves than what’s considered classy. You paired it with a white blazer you haven’t worn in ages, but it’s the most business-looking piece you own. The women around you seem to be wearing outfits that cost about three times more than yours, designer purses and ankle-breaking high heels appear to be the normal around here while you’re wearing flats, because you simply don’t put yourself through the torture of forcing your feet into heels.
And the cherry on top? The massive folder you brought your portfolio in is anything but professional with the colorful fruits printed all over it, strawberries, watermelons and cherries are floating around on it. You swore you had a simple black one somewhere in your desk at home, but you failed to actually find it and this one was the only one that wasn’t used to the point that it was threatening to fall apart. You thought you could play it off, but seeing everyone around you know you wish you chose one of the beaten-up folders instead.
On the way up the elevator stops three times before you reach the 78th floor and stepping out you’re immediately met with a woman who could easily be the clone of the one at the front desk downstairs. She is just as spotless and perfect as she was, her smiling lips are painted red and so plump, you wonder if they are even real.
“Welcome, Miss Y/L/N! Mr. Styles will see you in a second, would you like to have a coffee or tea while you wait?” she asks, walking you over to a waiting area with comfortable looking couches and massive paintings on the walls.
“Uh, no thank you, I’m good,” you shoot her a shy smile and she nods before walking back to her desk near the elevators.
Pursing your lips you look around and decide to drop your bag and folder to one of the couches before taking a better look at the paintings. With your arms folded over your chest you squint your eyes looking at the first one, trying to make out what it’s supposed to be picturing.
All of them seem extremely abstract, minimal color schemes to fit the design of the office and while they look sophisticated and expensive, you’re still looking for the meaning behind the patterns. You get so into the decoding that you start tilting your head to the sides, a frown etched over your face and you don’t even realize when someone joins you in your examination.
“I think they look like birds,” a male voice with a heavy British accent speaks up behind you, making you jump, your heart racing in your chest as you turn around with wide eyes and finding yourself facing the most handsome man you’ve ever laid your eyes on.
He is tall, broad shoulders and a muscular build paired with a charming smile that’s already making it hard for you to think straight. The fitted suit he is wearing must be designer and the massive rings adorning his fingers are also subtle reminders of his wealth. His appearance is oozing confidence and power, there’s no doubt he knows what he is doing and he is good at it too.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckles softly at your reaction. “I’m Harry Styles and you must be Y/N Y/L/N, right?”
Holding out a hand he smiles at you warmly as you slip yours into his, the touch of his palm sending a shiver down your spine. He’s got a firm hold, but not the kind with which someone would try to dominate you. It’s more like a reflection of his strong personality.
“Yes I am. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Styles,” you manage to speak up despite your awe, though your voice sounded thinner and weaker than you intended it to be.
“Please, call me just Harry,” he asks you, his hand letting yours go and you love how his words are dripping from his accent. “Follow me into my office and we can get down to business,” he gestures towards the door and nodding you gather your stuff from the couch, rushing after him while trying to get your thoughts straight so you don’t make a complete fool out of yourself during this meeting.
His office matches the rest of the building, it’s modern and clean in every way, one full wall covered with floor-to-ceiling windows, gifting you with an incredible view of the city.
“Please, take a seat,” he gestures towards the couch and armchairs with a coffee table in the left side of the room instead of approaching his desk. You opt to sit on one end of the couch, not sure where he’ll sit, and after dropping your bag next to you, you place the folder onto the coffee table, trying not to cringe at how ridiculous it looks compared to basically everything in the room.
“Can I offer you a drink?” he asks and you see him standing by what seems like mini bar, it’s got that typical crystal set wit the amber colored liquid in it that very much appears to be whiskey and your eyes involuntarily wander over to the clock on the wall, checking that it’s ten in the morning and he’s offering you alcohol. Harry catches your reaction and lets out a chuckle, opening the built-in mini fridge underneath that’s got all kinds of non-alcoholic drinks as well.
“I know it’s too early for whiskey, I’ve got other choices as well.”
“I’m good, thank you,” you breathe out a chuckle, shaking your head. Nodding he grabs himself a bottle of water and pours some into a glass before walking over to join you, deciding to sit on the other end of the couch.
“Thank you so much for coming in, the last few designers I connected with could only squeeze me in weeks later,” he chuckles and taking a sip from the water he sets the glass down on the table before placing an ankle over his knee, giving you his undivided attention.
“My schedule is not that full at the moment,” you clear your throat and what you meant by that is that you’re free all the time. But he doesn’t need to know that.
“Lucky for me, I guess,” he smirks, his eyes wandering over to the folder and you expect him to comment on it, but he just keeps smiling before nodding. “So, where should we start?”
“Um, I brought my portfolio, I know Bianca suggested me without anything to show, so I thought you might want to see some of my works,” you explain, taking the folder from the table and laying it to your lap you open and start roaming through, trying to figure out what to show him first. “I have some digital plans I’ve done and some actual ones that I was able to create. I don’t know how much B told you, but I used to work at Ikea.”
Just as you say it out loud you regret it, your previous job at Ikea does not sound too prestigious and respected, but now you can’t take it back. Clearing your throat you hand him the booklet that has your digital works, seemingly he didn’t have a problem with your slip about Ikea, so you just move on.
“I like to try myself out in different styles, though of course I have favorites.”
Harry starts to flip through the booklet, taking his time examining the pictures in it before glancing up at you for a moment.
“And what are your favorites?”
“I’m… I’m a fan of everything vintage. My taste is more of a maximalist, if we want to categorize it, I like mixing different styles and being creative.”
Interior design is truly your passion. You chose this as your career because it’s the only thing you see yourself doing even decades later and you always wanted a job that was also kind of a hobby as well.
You don’t notice it, but Harry is watching you in awe as you talk so openly about your work. It’s rare he sees someone be so passionate and in love with what brings them money and seeing you be that person is like a breath of fresh air.
“And do you have a favorite project?” he asks and he doesn’t miss the shine in your eyes as you nod with a shy smile and pull out another booklet. You flip through it until you find the section that’s dedicated to your parents’ weekend house you worked on a few years ago. Handing it over to Harry he doesn’t even need to ask you to tell him more about it.
“Growing up we spent almost every summer here. My mother inherited it and my parents decided to renovate it fully a few years ago. I wanted it to keep its charm and all the memories we have, but also get it into shape.”
“Do you have any photos of what it looked like before?” he asks and suddenly you realize it’s something you should have included in the portfolio. Harry catches how your face falls and somehow reads your expression perfectly. “I wasn’t expecting it to be included, don’t worry. I’m just curious about what parts you kept.”
“I have a few on my phone,” you breathe out, pulling your phone out of your bag. Frantically swiping back you find some old photographs from your childhood, you digitized them for your an anniversary gift for your parents last year, now they come in handy.
Without a second thought you scoot closer to him on the couch and show him the screen where you swipe through the handful of photos.
“I convinced my mom to keep the hardwood floors and the wallpapers needed to be changed, but I managed to hunt down the exact same design, so it’s new but also old,” you smile, you’re pretty proud of it, took you weeks to find it and you drove to the next state to get it yourself. “We kept a lot of the furniture in the living room, I just gave them a little makeover and I kept almost everything in the same place as before.”
The pictures also feature you and your brother as kids, as well as your parents’ younger version. Though you’ve changed quite a lot throughout the years, people always tell you how easy it is to recognize you in older photos. Harry notices as well. The last one you’re showing is of the back porch and you’re sitting on the stairs, your hair is a mess and you’re wearing a yellow sundress, one you loved wearing at the time as much as possible. You have an ice-cream in your hand and some of it is smudged around your mouth as you smile at the camera. Faintly, but you remember this day and the moment your mother snapped this particular picture. It was the last day of summer and she tried to get your mood up with the ice-cream so you wouldn’t be too blue about going home in the morning.
“I assume that’s you, right?” Harry asks, pointing at your younger self on the screen.
“Yes,” you let out an airy chuckle.
“The house looked incredible before, but I truly love what you did with it too,” he then continues, switching back to business. “I can see why it’s your favorite project.”
“Thank you,” you reply, your cheeks heating up from the compliment.
The two of you go over some more projects, Harry seems to be interested in anything and everything you say, he is impressed by what you’re showing him and as the minutes go by you slowly loosen up in his presence.
“So, what do you think?” you ask, when you get to the end of your portfolio, booklets and pictures splattered over the coffee table in front of you.
“I love what you showed me and I think that Bianca did not lie when she told me you’re the best I could find,” he smiles at you with that charm you’ve been feeling ever since you laid your eyes on him. “I had plenty of questions, now I assume you might want to ask me a few.”
“Well, B didn’t tell me much about the project you want to work on. Can you tell a bit more about that?”
“Of course. I just bought a new home and learning from my past experience it might be a better idea to furnish it with someone who knows what they’re doing,” he says with a smile that definitely hides a story, but you only have guesses what it meant. “It’s completely bare, I only have a few things I want to bring with me from my current place.”
“Do you have a budget?” you ask, and grabbing your notepad from your bag you start scribbling notes down. Harry smiles as he shakes his head no.
“No budget. Don’t worry about the money.”
Your hand that’s holding the pen stops in motion as you glance up at him, making sure you heard that right before crossing over the word “budget” in your notes.
“I have a few ideas, but I’m open to basically anything and judging from what you showed me, I know I would like anything you come up with,” he smiles. Standing up he walks over to his desk and awakening his laptop he clicks a few times before glancing up at you. “Y/N, if you’re free, I would love to give you the project.”
It surprises you. how fast he decided and didn’t even ask for time to think about it and hear out other designers. He can see the shock on your face and walking back he sits on the couch again.
“I love what you showed me, I can tell you’d take it seriously and put your heart into it. There’s nothing else I need, Y/N. I’ve only met two designers at this point and neither of them caught my attention like you did. I don’t want to waste my and your time. So, if you’re available, I’m open to start whenever you’re free.”
“I uhh–I’m definitely available and I’d be honored to take the project, Mr–erm, Harry.”
“Great, then I’ll handle the documentation, if you’re fine with that and we can meet for a more in-depth meeting, I assume you have more questions for me.”
“Yeah, I do. And it’s perfectly fine by me.”
“Amazing. As much as I would love to stretch this meeting longer, I have a call in a few minutes, I’m very sorry. But my assistant will get in contact with you about the rest.”
Nodding you quickly gather your portfolio and stuff it back into the folder in a frenzy, not wanting to make Harry late in any way, though he doesn’t seem to be in a rush. As you stand you hold the folder to your chest and follow Harry towards the door.
“Thank you so much for your time, it was a pleasure and I can’t wait to see you again,” he smiles at you as he opens the door for you and walks you out to the elevators. “If I’m correct you live with Bianca, right?”
“Yes, we share an apartment,” you nod.
“Well, when you get home and meet her, please thank her for bringing us together. It’s not the first time she helped me out and she always has a solution for me.”
“She is just that good,” you chuckle in agreement. The elevator arrives and the doors slide open.
“Thank you again, Y/N. I’ll see you soon.” Reaching into his suit jacket’s inner pocket he pulls out a business card and hands it over to you. “Call me if you have any questions, anytime.”
“Thank you,” you nod, slipping the card into your bag.
“Have a nice day, Y/N,” he calls after you as you walk into the elevator and turning around you face him one last time.
“You too, Harry,” you breathe out as the doors close and you’re taken down.
When Harry said you’d meet soon to go over your further questions you imagined that you’d have to come into his office again. Yet, now you’re just about to meet him at his current place, it’s six in the evening, definitely after business hours, so you’re a bit thrown off by it.
His current home is not far from the office building and of course, it’s just as luxurious as you expected and you can only imagine where he is moving from here.
The doorman greets you with a bright smile and when you say you’re here to see Harry, he doesn’t question who you are, just walks you over to the elevators and pushes the button for the 45th floor. Harry must have told him he was expecting a guest and for some reason it fills you with excitement, just the thought of Harry talking about you.
The elevator takes you up so fast, it’s like you teleported to his floor and when the doors slide open you’re met with a hall with two doors. Just as you step out the door on the right opens and Harry appears, no suit, just a pair of simple jeans and a black t-shirt that bares his tattooed arm you couldn’t see last time. It’s like a whole different version of him, but the warm smile he flashes you ensures he is the same man you met a few days ago.
“Y/N, hi! Come on in!” he invites you inside, holding the door open.
“Hi, thank you,” you return the smile and walking past him, you enter his private space.
It’s a modern looking, spacious apartment with a similarly amazing view of the city as his office, lots of big windows, a simple, but luxurious looking interior design, and it makes you think about what he said about his current place and how it was furnished and designed.
“Thank you for being so flexible about the time, I just simply could not fit in another meeting during the day and since I thought you might want to see the things I want to bring with myself, this seemed to be the best solution,” he explains as the two of you walk further into the apartment. It’s spotless and tidy, he definitely keeps his home organized, or has someone to do it for him. “Do you want a drink maybe? It’s after business hours, so it could be alcoholic, right?” he chuckles and you follow him into the open concept kitchen.
“Just maybe a water, please,” you smile. It’s not that you don’t drink, you just don’t trust yourself when drinking, especially around Harry.
“Alright, a water coming right away,” he nods, smirking as he opens the massive fridge. “Could you find a parking spot somewhere near? I forgot to tell you to use the garage, I have a few extra spots.”
“Oh, I don’t have a car,” you tell him and he gives you a surprised look. “I usually take the subway.”
“You’re not planning to go home by that as well, right? It’s gonna be dark out there.”
“I don’t have many other choices, I can’t really finance a cab drive every time I need to be somewhere.”
He grabs a bottled water and just nods to himself, though you can see the gears turning in his head. He pours some water into a glass and hands it to you, before suggesting to take a seat in the living room.
“Is this the interior design you did?” you ask, taking a look around. It’s not what you think would suit him, but it’s not as bad as he made it appear to be.
“Oh, no. It’s… I shared this place with my ex-girlfriend,” he tells you and your ears perk up at the personal detail he just shared.
“Ah, I see,” you hum, taking a sip from your water, pretending not to be dying to know more about him.
“The design was redone by her, so it’s all her style. We broke up a few months ago and neither of us wants to stay here. She moved out already and I’m staying just until the new place is being finished.”
“You didn’t have a saying in the design?”
“Not really. I mostly didn’t have the time to care about it and she willingly took the project into her hands. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately I don’t have any photos of the before,” he adds with a cheeky smile.
Following some chit-chatting you get down to business. You have tons of questions for Harry and he answers them all willingly. He also shows you the floorplan of the new place, arranging another meeting already so you can check it out in real life.
Hours pass by and the picture gets clearer with each crumb of information you learn about him. The project now definitely has some stronger points you can lean onto when you’ll build up the whole plan. Time flies and the next time you look at your phone to check how long you can stay without feeling like you overstayed your welcome, you realize it’s past eleven.
“Oh God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you for this long,” you snap out of your comfort.
“You did not bother, it didn’t even feel like work,” he chuckles.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” you smile sheepishly as you start packing your stuff. “Can I use the restroom before I leave?”
“Of course. First door on the right down the hallway,” he instructs you.
Quickly finishing your business you take a moment to smooth out the wrinkles on your clothes and fix your hair before walking back out. Harry is now standing with his phone in hands, smiling when he looks up at you.
“Alright, I’ll head out then,” you exhale, grabbing your stuff from the couch.
“I ordered you a car already.”
“What?” you ask with wide eyes.
“I can’t just let you go home alone so late. Please, I insist!”
“Harry, you don’t have to–”
“Yeah, but I certainly want to. It’ll be here in a few minutes, I’ll walk you down.”
“Okay,” you nod, accepting defeat as the two of you walk out to the elevators. “At least let me pay for the ride.”
“Absolutely no way.”
The way he said that leaves no place for protesting so you keep your mouth shut and just go with it.
“I can’t wait to see what you come up with, Y/N. First amount will be forwarded to you by the end of the week, okay?” he says as the two of you arrive at the downstairs lobby of the building.
“Oh, yeah, that’s perfectly fine,” you nod. The amount Harry insisted on paying you when you negotiated the costs earlier is about three times of what you originally thought about and he didn’t budge when you offered to lower it. He said your time and knowledge are worth this money and he would feel bad if he didn’t pay the right amount.
He also told you the first third of the payment would be completed by the end of the week when you sign the papers and it seems like he’ll definitely keep his word.
A car parks down right in front of the building as you step outside, Harry opening the door for you like a true gentleman.
“Thank you for everything, Y/N. Have a great night and I’ll see you soon,” he smiles as you’re about to get into the car.
“Thank you too. See you soon,” you nod with a shy smile. He shuts the door when you’re inside and he waves after you once the driver starts driving to the address you just told him.
Over the course of the next week you spend every waking moment working on this project. Your room turns into a full time office as well as 80% of the dining table. The remaining space is just enough so Bianca can eat her breakfast in the morning while you’re already working before she even leaves.
You want everything to be perfect, down to the smallest bit. The trust Harry has placed in you is something you simply can’t afford to waste, this is the base of your business. If he likes your work he might recommend you to some of his friends or partners and you can build a clientele then.
You’re more nervous when you present your plan to Harry than you were at your last college exam. You made a board, several digital designs, floorplans and basically anything that could help him visualize what you had in mind.
He loves it. All of it.
When you ask him if there’s anything he would want to change he can’t bring a thing up.
“I’m blown away, Y/N. It’s perfect, really,” he tells you and it feels like every weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders is now lifted and you can finally breathe.
So then starts the actual, physical work.
Harry is willing to pay any amount to get things done as fast as possible, so you get him the best team to do the needed construction work in his new penthouse. In just a couple of days you get the base of the home to the level where you can start with the designing as well.
It’s a Friday evening when you’re still at the penthouse, working on arranging some decoration on the massive built-in shelves in the living room, the workers have already finished for the day so it’s just you in your yoga pants and an oversized shirt that’s one of your most comfortable ones, definitely not an outfit you’d normally meet with anyone besides Bianca, probably.
So when you hear the elevator doors open, signaling that someone has arrived, you jump in surprise. With a vase in one hand and your printed digital design of the shelving in the other you watch Harry walk in, carrying a takeout bag along with his laptop bag.
“Sorry to drop by unannounced, but I was in the neighborhood and thought I would check out how things are going,” he smiles as you put the vase down and shove the print back into the stack on the coffee table that arrived just earlier that day.
“It’s your house, you can come and go whenever you want,” you tell him, wiping your palms into your pants as he walks up to you. He must have come from work, he’s wearing his usual fitted suit in royal blue this time, and he looks ridiculously good, as always. You kind of want to dig yourself a hole, looking like this next to him, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering him at all as he places the bag to the coffee table, looking around with an excited smirk adorning his handsome features.
“I could give you a tour,” you offer, folding your arms over your chest.
“Do you want me to see it half-done?”
“Well… my original plan was to show it to you when it’s fully done,” you admit and that’s all he needed.
“Alright, then I’ll just stay right here. I brought food, have you eaten?”
“Uh, I had a sandwich in the afternoon…”
“Then I’ll take it as a no,” he smiles, moving over to the massive couch that’s already put together in the living room area, luckily.
“Harry, there’s no need–” you try to protest, but as always, he cuts you off again.
“No need, but I want to. Come on, I haven’t been able to consult with you properly all week, so we can catch up.”
He brought some Italian, and it seems like he was expecting to find you here, because he brought food enough for two people. Since there aren’t any plates or cutlery yet, you eat straight from the box with the wooden forks the restaurant packed for the order.
“You’re working extremely fast, Y/N. I’m surprised I’m seeing this much progress to be honest,” he comments, digging into his pasta.
“You said you want it done as soon as possible,” you shrug.
“When do you think you’ll be done with everything?”
Taking a deep breath you look around as you go over everything that needs to be finished. There’s not much left, but some of the furniture will be delivered only next week, so you have to wait for those.
“I would say… next weekend.” Harry’s eyebrows rise at your estimation and then it’s followed by a nod of appreciation.
“Y/N, you impress me every day. But I don’t want you to overwork yourself, it’s past eight in the evening and you’re still here. No one is expecting you to be home on time?”
“Only Bianca,” you admit with a chuckle. “But she is a workaholic too, so she might not even notice my absence.”
“Just your roommate? No dates?” You can’t help but scoff at his question.
“Exactly. No dates.”
Ever since you parted ways with Vincent you haven’t been in the mood to think about getting yourself out to the dating field and then you didn’t even have time to think about it, putting every free hour of your life into this project.
“That sounded like you had some not too pleasant experiences,” he hums, peeking at you curiously.
“Let’s just say, that a certain guy ruined my willingness to enter the dating scene again for a while.”
“Well, I apologize in the name of every male, then,” he says, hoping to earn at least a tiny smile, and it happens, so he feels like he succeeded. “So, I never asked how you know Bianca.”
“We went to the same high school. She somehow befriended me, don’t ask me how it happened and then we ended up going to the same college, moved in together and we haven’t been able to let go of each other since then.”
“So you have quite the history together, huh?”
“I guess you could say that,” you nod with a chuckle. “How about you?”
“How do I know Bianca?”
“Yeah.”
You never asked her this detail, but now you definitely want to know if they have hooked up before, because then you’ll force yourself to never even think about Harry outside of business thoughts. You respect the Girl Code.
“We met at a conference about two years ago. Somehow got into a conversation and I was in need of some legal help around that time, so she recommended me her boss. We kept in touch, I often go to their firm when I need the help of some outsiders, since I have my own legal team at the company, but it’s nice to get some fresh people involved in some projects.”
“Ah, I see,” you nod, processing the information.
“Not what you expected to hear?” he asks with a smirk as he tilts his head.
“Well, it’s just that some of B’s connections… she tends to make them in unorthodox ways,” you try to explain, in no way meaning to judge your friend.
“We never hooked up, if that’s what you meant by that,” he chuckles and heat crawls up your neck to your cheeks and ears. “We’re strictly friends, sometimes business partners. That’s it.”
“Alright, I have no judgment at all.”
He smiles before returning his attention to his food. You eat in silence for a while before he breaks it next.
“So, do you have a next project after this one?”
“Erm, no, not really,” you admit. You feel like you can be honest with him at this point and drop the professional act. “You are actually my first client, so I’m not quite popular just yet.”
“I’m your first client?” he asks with genuine shock on his face.
“Yeah, I recently quit my job at Ikea. I was a designer for the displays, you know, those fake rooms and little apartments you see on the first floor.”
“You worked on those? You designed them?”
“Yes,” you nod with a soft chuckle. “But I knew I didn’t want to do it for too long and then I had an argument with my boss and got fed up so I quit before coming up with a plan. Bianca said she’d help me out and that’s when you came into the picture.”
“I wouldn’t have thought you just started it. You work so fast and efficiently, I mean it’s obvious you haven’t been doing this for a decade, but you didn’t come off as a rookie.”
This is the best compliment he could give you. You feared possible clients wouldn’t take you seriously because you were just starting the business, but if Harry thought that upon meeting you, it seems like you had nothing to worry about.
“So, no next project then?”
“Not yet,” you shake your head.
“Well… I have news for you then.”
Your eyes widen as you look up at him, a cheeky grin stretched across his face as he places his food box down to the table to give you his undivided attention, so you do the same, unsure what he’s about to tell you.
“If you agree to do it, I want you to design the new office we’re opening soon for the marketing department. They are moving into a separate building, because we plan to eventually turn it into an independent agency, and I have discussed it with the board and we would love to give the project to you.”
“What?!” you breathe out in disbelief. “I-I don’t—that’s… Harry, you don’t have to do it just because I don’t have anything else after this.”
“Up until a minute ago I didn’t know that,” he points out with a warm smile. “And I actually had no power over the decision. I presented your portfolio along with two others I chose, no names, no nothing, they just voted on which one they liked the best. Yours won.”
You stare back at him, total loss of words as you wrap your head around the news you just received. Doing the penthouse was already a good start, but designing a whole office building would skyrocket you into more and more projects, there’s no doubt. And you didn’t even have to ask for Harry’s help, he did it voluntarily.
Touched by the gesture, you can’t stop yourself before you throw your arms around him and hug him tight. Your reaction surprises him at first, but a moment later he wraps his arms around you as well, pulling you close to him.
Then you realize that it might have crossed a line, so you pull back, clearing your throat.
“Sorry… I just… thank you, Harry. Really,” you breathe out, fixing yourself up quickly.
“No need to thank me. You’re good at what you do, it’s a fact.”
You stop yourself from thanking him over and over again, but your look says it all. And that’s enough for Harry.
You finish the penthouse in time and have the big reveal just like you planned it. Harry’s jaw is on the floor the whole time you walk him through his new home, showing him every tiny detail you put into the project with him on your mind.
It’s perfect from the bottom to the top and though Harry was already impressed by your work, now he is completely blown and he keeps telling you that as you wrap up the paperwork to end the project, however you both know it’s not the end of your work together, because meetings about the office building are starting next week.
“What are you doing tonight, Y/N?” he asks when you’re just about to leave.
“Uh, probably just gonna watch a movie with Bianca,” you chuckle, shrugging.
“Would you two like to join me and some of my friends for some drinks? I have a table reserved at my favorite place and I would love to thank you for your work here.”
“No need to thank, you already paid for it,” you add chuckling.
“But this deserves more,” he gestures around, his eyes trailing to the massive windows watching over the city, one of your favorite thing about the place, even though you had nothing to do with that. “And Bianca deserves a thank you for recommending you to me too. Please, be my guests for this one night.”
“Okay,” you breathe out, unable to resist his charm. You’re convinced he could make you do anything with just a few looks and a smile.
“Great,” he beams and pulls you into a hug when you reach the elevator. “I’ll text you the details and I’ll see you tonight!”
“Bye, Harry,” you nod as the two of you part and you step into the elevator, staring at each other until the doors slide closed.
Just a couple of hours later you find yourself at a bar you would probably never go to if it was your choice, it’s obviously way too high end to you, but Harry made it clear no one is spending money tonight except him.
Bianca made you wear a dress you’ve been keeping in your closet for probably years. You never felt the confidence to wear it, finding it too revealing for your appearance, but tonight you changed your mind and took the risk.
Walking into the bar you throw one last look at your reflection in the mirrors lining the walls, the dress wraps around your body way tighter than what you’re used to, making it impossible to hide your true figure. For a moment you second guess your choice and contemplate going back home and changing, but it’s too late for that. At least your cleavage looks good, thanks to your best bra you chose to wear for tonight.
Harry spots you from across the place and his lips part as he watches you approach him, barely even noticing Bianca next to you, which is quite a rare occurrence. You’re not typically the one to be in the center of attention, but you definitely are when it comes to Harry.
“Wow, ladies, you both look amazing!” he compliments, kissing Bianca’s cheeks in a friendly manner before he turns to you and pulls you into a hug for your surprise. The way his hand slides over your spine and down to the small of your back makes your knees turn into jelly, but you manage to stay stood.
“Thank you,” you breathe out as you let go of each other. He is wearing another pair of fitted pants and a white shirt without a jacket this time, the first few buttons undone on his shirt, revealing part of his chest and the necklace you’ve caught a glimpse of before.
You join the circle of his friends, everyone seems incredibly friendly and open and you try your best to remember the names. Drinks keep coming whenever you finish one, but you keep it slow and steady, not wanting to make a fool out of yourself. Throughout the night you catch Harry’s eyes lingering on you several times and you just nervously smile at him before averting your gaze.
“Someone is into you,” Bianca teases you leaning closer so only you can hear her words.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you shake your head, taking the straw of your drink into your mouth and sipping on it to keep yourself busy. Why would he be into you when there are several prettier and thinner women around. It’s hard for you to believe that someone would took interest in you when Bianca is sitting right next to you.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, be right back,” you let B know as you stand from the table and head to the restrooms.
When you’re washing your hand, you take a good look at yourself in the mirror. The outfit makes you feel exposed and you can’t help but spot everything you’d want to change on yourself. Think about how much better you’d look in it if you lost a few pounds, if your arms were thinner and your tummy flatter.
You force yourself to stop before you lose all of your confidence, so turning away from your reflection you head out to return to the table and numb your thoughts with the conversation going on and preferably some more drinks.
As you walk past the bar you almost trip and fall when you spot a familiar face sitting on one of the stools. Vincent is nursing a drink just a few feet away from you, but he’s not alone. There’s a tall, thin woman next to him, one hand on the counter, the other one on his thigh, suggestively scratching her nails over the inside of it.
It’s obvious she is either the woman he intended to send the picture to or maybe another hookup he kept while dating you. Your heart drops seeing the way he looks at her, because you never saw a hunger this kind in his eyes when you were with him. He’s almost devouring her with just his looks and it feels like you’re being stabbed in the chest.
You want to leave, from the bar, from the face of Earth before he notices you, but you’re out of luck. Vincent spots you, a surprised look on his face as you look away in an instant and try to escape, only to bump against a hard, muscular chest.
“Everything alright?” Harry’s hand come to your arms to steady you. He saw you look upset and wanted to check in on you, but now as he sees your expression from up close he is even more worried.
“Yeah, I mean no—I just…” you stutter and before you could give him an explanation, Vincent walks up to the two of you.
“Y/N?”
“Fuck,” you mumble before turning to face him. “Vin, hi!”
“I saw you, but thought it’s not quite a place you like to come to, so I wasn’t sure.”
“You’re right, it’s not my usual place, so I guess that’s why you’re here with someone,” you snicker back, surprising not just Vincent, but yourself with the venom your tone carried. Harry doesn’t need more to realize who he is facing right now, the anger crawling up his spine is hard to control as he thinks about what Vincent could possibly do to hurt you.
But he manages to put it aside and out of the blue he takes the lead. He curls an arm around your waist, pulling you to his side as he flashes a sweet, sugarcoated smile at Vincent.
“I think we haven’t had the chance to meet yet. I’m Harry,” he holds out a hand for him and Vincent is seemingly shocked by the scene, his eyes keep snapping to Harry’s hold on your waist.
“Um, Vincent. Are you two together or something?”
You open your mouth, but Harry beats you with the answer.
“Yes. And I’m the luckiest guy in the city she chose me,” he says, eyes meeting yours as the words roll off his tongue. “Seems like you know her well, so then you know she is the absolute best, right?”
There’s something passive aggressive in his tone, something threatening as he stares back at Vincent who for sure can feel how far behind he is compared to Harry.
The woman from the bar walks over to Vincent and wraps around him like a clingy koala bear, eyeing you with a challenging look, she doesn’t even try to introduce herself.
“I’m getting bored, babe,” she whines to Vincent and you can’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes.
“Not gonna keep you up longer, we have some celebrating to do too,” Harry smiles at them, squeezing you to his side. “It was nice meeting you two, whatever your names are,” he shrugs as he simply pulls you away and your eyes widen at his last comment, but don’t say a word, just walk away with him.
But instead of returning to the table he walks you out to back of the place where people usually disappear to have a smoke. When he finds a peaceful corner, he turns to face you.
“It was him, right?”
“Yes,” you nod, feeling the tears stinging the back of your eyes.
“What did he do exactly?”
“He… He sent me a picture of the lingerie he bought for some other girl, maybe that was her, I don’t know. I just know it wasn’t meant for me, because… Because the sizing definitely couldn’t fit me.”
It feels like you’re dipping yourself in acid, admitting it all to Harry and talking about your insecurities to him. And now that you started, you want to unload more of what you’ve been keeping bottled inside.
“I mean, I would choose her over me too. He would be stupid to settle with me when he can get women like her,” you chuckle bitterly, and it’s the last straw for Harry.
“That’s it, you’re coming home with me, we’re gonna get things straight in that pretty head of yours,” he says and taking your hand he pulls you back inside.
It all happens so fast, Harry tells the rest of the group that the two of you are leaving and before you could even get a word out, you’re sitting in his car, on your way to his place.
When you arrive he helps you out of the car, his hand wrapping around yours and he doesn’t let go as you cross the lobby of the building, marching up to the elevator. The way up to the penthouse is silent, but only verbally. Harry’s hand remains wrapped around yours, his thumb keeps brushing over the back of your hand, squeezing it from time to time. You can’t tell what’s gonna happen now, not after the evening and the shocking turn it took, but you know you wouldn’t be anywhere else now.
The elevator arrives and the doors slide open, Harry’s familiar home welcomes you. The lights are out and you expect him to turn them on, but he just pulls you inside in the dark, towards the windows that are now showing you the incredible night sky of the city. Without a word Harry walks you to the window and then stops, turning you towards the sight, standing behind you.
“Tell me what you see, Y/N,” he then says, his voice coming from right next to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
“I see the city. The buildings, the lights…” you softly answer, eyes glued to the picture in front of you, while your mind keeps circling back to his close proximity.
“Do you find it beautiful?”
“Yes,” you nod shortly and involuntarily lean back, your backside meeting his chest, but instead of pulling away you stay. What’s more, his hands find your waist, the warm touch of his palms reminding you of what it felt like when he pulled you into his hold when you were talking to Vincent.
“Now take a better look. Do you find anything you don’t like in this sight?”
“Yes,” you answer again.
“Tell me, what are these things?” You feel his nose brushing against your hair and you almost instantly forget his question biting back a moan, his front still pressed against your back.
“I see… I see chimneys and messy rooftops… some graffiti…” It’s hard to focus, but you keep your eyes on the skyline and try to find more things that aren’t that beautiful. “I see into a few messy rooms through the windows…”
“It’s not perfect, right?” he hums, his fingers gently stroking your waist as he talks.
“No,” you shake your head.
“But it’s still beautiful, something you admire and love looking at, right, Y/N?”
As the words roll off his tongue you realize what it’s about, your breath hitching as your heart starts racing. Harry notices the change in you and his hands squeeze your waist to earn your attention back.
“Yes,” you breathe out, barely more than just a whisper.
“Stay right here,” he tells you and a moment later he disappears from behind you, your body instantly aching to feel his closeness again. You hear his footsteps move away from you and a few seconds later he turns all the lights on. The sudden brightness turns the windows into mirrors, the city lights fading as the inside of the penthouse appears in front of you mirrored, along with your standing figure. Your eyes spot Harry walking back to you until he takes his previous spot, but this time he keeps his hands to himself as his gaze catches yours in the mirror.
“You’re beautiful, Y/N. When I look at you, I see the most breathtaking woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on and I want you to see this beauty too. Look at yourself,” he tells you and you force your focus to move to yourself. “Do you see things on yourself that you don’t like?”
“Yes,” you answer right away.
“But that doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful. All those things make you who you are and when you see it as a whole, you shouldn’t see them, only the beauty.”
Your lips tremble and tears are dwelling in your eyes. No one has ever said anything like this to you and even if someone did, you wouldn’t have believed. But with Harry, you know he meant every single word. You’ve been battling with your looks for so long, beating yourself up for not being pretty enough, thin enough, attractive enough, making yourself believe that no one would ever look at you like you’ve seen other girls being looked at. The envy, jealousy and hurt you had to deal with your whole life never let you see yourself as Harry made you.
“Hey,” he softly murmurs, turning you around when he sees your teary eyes. He takes your face in his palms, worried he might have said something that hurt you. “Talk to me, did I say something that upset you?”
“No,” you breathe out, your hands coming up to wrap around his wrists as you finally look up into his eyes. “I just… You meant it?”
“All of it,” he answers without hesitation. “Do you want to know what I thought when I first saw you?” he asks with a tiny, cheeky smile as he wipes your tears away with his thumbs, his hands remain holding your face.
“At your office?”
“Yeah. I walked out and you were standing there, staring at the art on the wall, your head tilted as you were trying to make out the painting. You wore that dress and I just took a few moments, staring at you, because I was in awe. I thought… I thought wow! This woman could easily be the end of me and she hasn’t even looked at me!”
You can’t help but laugh at how he recalls his thoughts and the sound of it is making his heart soar.
“That first time, I had to try so hard to stay professional and not make it obvious how attracted I was to you. The way you talked about renovating your parents’ weekend house, I was drinking up every word, you talked so passionately and it just made me fall for you even more.”
“I was so fucking nervous,” you admit, leaning into his touch.
“Yeah?” he chuckles softly. “I made you nervous?” he asks with a hint of pride in his words.
“Of course,” you nod. “I saw you and then… I wanted to be professional so you’d choose me, but I was also very into you at the same time.”
“Really? So you wouldn’t have minded if I flirted with you?”
“No, but I would have probably turned into a giggling little girl,” you admit grinning.
“I’m sure I would have loved it,” he hums and leaning closer he nudges his nose against yours, your whole body buzzing to be touched and worshipped by him or at least you need him to kiss you before you pass out from excitement. “I’m sorry your ex made you upset tonight, it’s not what I planned.”
“He’s not my ex,” you correct him.
“How come?”
“He never wanted to be in a committed relationship with me, I guess I was never good enough for him,” you tell him with a shrug, your hands moving from his wrists to his waist where you fist his shirt, wrinkling the expensive fabric, but you couldn’t care less.
Harry doesn’t like this answer. At all. The thought of you with Vincent was driving him crazy all evening, but now that he knows he treated you like this is just the last straw. Vincent is lucky he is not around, because Harry wouldn’t be able to hold himself back and not punch him in the face.
Growling, he slides his hands from your cheeks to your neck, tilting your head up by the chin with his thumbs so you’re staring right up at him. Your lips part and Harry’s eyes are mesmerized by the view of having you like this, in his hold.
“Let me show you what you deserve, baby,” he breathes out before the dam breaks.
Hunger takes over him and he presses his lips against yours as if his life depended on it. His kiss is demanding and heated, but you’re returning it with just as much enthusiasm, the feel of his perfect lips against yours seals the weeks worth of pining that’s behind you. Like two puzzle pieces, you click perfectly and the moan that bubbles from your chest when his tongue pushes past your lips destroys the last bits of Harry’s self-control.
His hands move from your neck, fingers brushing against the swell of your breasts before they reach your waist and dig into the soft flesh, pulling you flush against him while he keeps kissing you, claiming your lips as his.
One hand remains on your waist, while the other moves to your ass and he wastes no time taking a handful of it, squeezing and feeling the curve of it up shamelessly. He loves how it fits perfectly into his palm, it’s so soft and bounces with every movement.
You circle your arms around his waist, nails scratching his back over the fabric of his shirt and you wish there was nothing between your palm and his skin. When his lips move down to your jawline, then your throat, kissing and biting you on their way, he starts walking forward, backing you until your backside hits the cold glass of the window. Gasping your back arches and Harry uses the opportunity to bury his face into your breasts, giving in to the desire he felt every time his eyes wandered down to your cleavage in this dress throughout the night. He’s losing his mind, licking, kissing, biting and sucking your exposed skin wherever he can reach, inhaling your sweet scent that was intoxicating enough when he wasn’t this close to you.
The difference between how Harry is all over you and how Vincent treated you when you were intimate is astronomical. Normally your thoughts would be revolving around everything that could go wrong, how you might be looking, your flaws and imperfections that could ruin the experience, but they are now locked and forgotten in the back of your head.
Harry makes you feel so wanted like no one did before. You see the genuine passion and hunger in his eyes, all of it just for you and for once in your life, you feel confident enough to be fully present in the moment.
His right hand moves to your left thigh and he urges you to lift it up, his hold grabbing the back of your knee as his hips press against yours in a whole new and tighter way now, your soaking wet pussy rubbing against his thigh in this position.
His lips return to yours, kissing you like it’s been decades since the last time you locked lips, it’s impossible to tell where he ends and where you begin. He loves the feel of your breasts and tummy pressed against him, the way you’re involuntarily rolling your hips to create some friction for your pleasure, how you keep moaning when his hands touch you in a new area. He is convinced he is losing his mind, but if this is the way his life ends, then he’ll go as a happy man.
“You’re fucking perfect, Y/N. Inside and out. Let me show you just how much I love this body of yours! Let me show you your worth!” he begs, his words muffled against your lips, but you understand every single one and they make your core throb even more.
“Please!” is all you manage to get out, your own desires taking control over your mind and body.
Harry wastes no time. Pulling back he moves you away from the window just enough so he can reach the zipper of your dress at the back, the fabric instantly loosening around your form before falling to the floor. He steps back, his eyes roaming your body and you’ve never felt more exposed and vulnerable, people you’ve been with usually didn’t take the time to even take a good look at you and you got used to the rush that usually comes with sex. But Ha
Description: In this apocalyptic world, you can’t go out at night due to Crawlers that lurk in the shadows. But 23 year old Brinley has to set off to get supplies for her younger sister and sick mother. She has everything planned out and knows to stick to what her mother has told her. But what happens when not everything goes to plan? No one warned her about bumping into a snarky, arrogant man who ends up saving her life. So what happens when this forces them into a bond that neither of them asked for? It’s purely for survival, right? At least that’s what they keep telling themselves.
Content warning: mentions of graphic scenes, blood, guns, death/violence
General tags: slow burn, angst, apocalypse, dystopia, smut
Here’s the chappie where you get a look beyond the Mediterranean fortress Harry calls home… ;)
Timing is sometimes too perfect to be the pure product of coincidence.
Everything is connected: the earth and the seas, the moon, and all the sky’s stars.
Our bodies are made of these, fragments of their nature, tying us to this world.
Aunt Lara used to tell me that we are a part of the cosmos, the cosmos pushing and pulling people into paths they’re supposed to be on. She’d smoke her cigarette on our porch with the full moon hanging high in the sky that she’d soon be flying through, and I’d nod, thinking I was so cool just for being around her. It was our time then, just the two of us, sometime after my parents had gone asleep and I’d sneak past their room to meet her outside. She never told my parents I was staying up late on a school night. She’d take another drag, extending one to me, knowing I wouldn’t take it.
“I’ve seen seven year olds with these things,” she’d mutter, laughing to herself, and when she’d look out, I imagined she was envisioning the Roman Cafe she’d frequent beside the famed Colosseum. A hot sun, and balmy breeze, warm like the foreign friends she’d meet, or the lukewarm seas lapping around her ankles. “So much warmer and clearer than anything you’ve ever felt here. The most miraculous shades of blue…” She’d smoke, she’d smile. I’d admire.
Here’s the chappie where you get a look beyond the Mediterranean fortress Harry calls home… ;)
Timing is sometimes too perfect to be the pure product of coincidence.
Everything is connected: the earth and the seas, the moon, and all the sky’s stars.
Our bodies are made of these, fragments of their nature, tying us to this world.
Aunt Lara used to tell me that we are a part of the cosmos, the cosmos pushing and pulling people into paths they’re supposed to be on. She’d smoke her cigarette on our porch with the full moon hanging high in the sky that she’d soon be flying through, and I’d nod, thinking I was so cool just for being around her. It was our time then, just the two of us, sometime after my parents had gone asleep and I’d sneak past their room to meet her outside. She never told my parents I was staying up late on a school night. She’d take another drag, extending one to me, knowing I wouldn’t take it.
“I’ve seen seven year olds with these things,” she’d mutter, laughing to herself, and when she’d look out, I imagined she was envisioning the Roman Cafe she’d frequent beside the famed Colosseum. A hot sun, and balmy breeze, warm like the foreign friends she’d meet, or the lukewarm seas lapping around her ankles. “So much warmer and clearer than anything you’ve ever felt here. The most miraculous shades of blue…” She’d smoke, she’d smile. I’d admire.
It was a full moon that night.
Just like it was tonight.
There are some things that happen so precisely, I think there must not be any other way these things could have happened, no other explanation, other than Aunt Lisa’s: the universe and its timing are inextricably linked to create our destiny.
Our choices change our future, sure. But there’s something beyond that, in the fickle way our choices play out ironically, that makes me think some things are fated. God, the cosmos, whatever you believed in - they had bigger plans for everyone.
They certainly had bigger plans for me other than a depressing Netflix binge in my dorm room after the game.
Yellow fluorescents flickered in the dismal parking garage. Lionel Styles was waiting by the elevators with Sven, looking oddly casual in normal streetwear. They grabbed Harry from me as soon as I’d parked, carrying him in. I followed, for a brief second questioning whether or not my services were needed. Maybe this was only family now.
But Lionel hastily beckoned me towards him. “You wanted a hands on experience right?”
His words seemed crass in a moment like this, but I brushed it off as stress as I went with them in the elevator. Lionel punched in a code and it creaked to life, slower than normal. A table had already been cleared in one of the surgery rooms, a white plastic sheet like that of a serial killer lain across. Gauze, ice water, rags, forceps, and needles were atop a metal tray. It was everything I expected of a surgical room - stark, sterile, and cold without any frivolous decor. No paintings. I assumed there was never anyone awake enough in this room to enjoy them anyway. Sven lay a white medical pillow down, too thin to be comfortable, as Lionel lowered Harry. I cringed, feeling another wave of nausea wrack through me. His gauze, once pink, was now completely red and looked wet to the touch.
“He’s been bleeding this whole time,” I breathed. Albeit obvious, it was less to inform Lionel than it was to come to terms with it myself.
Lionel flicked one of the syringes, nodding solemnly. “He might need a blood transfusion.”
Blood transfusion. IV poles were behind the table, blood blags and clear IV fluid already ready. He was expecting this.
“Shouldn’t he be at a hospital?”
“Nothing we can’t do. He’s just a boy. Gets into scrapes every now and then.”
“This is more than a scrape.”
He ignored me, plunging the needle in, and less than a second later, Harry’s eyes fluttered.
“Adrenaline,” I whispered under my breath. I recognized the protocol.
Lionel looked at me, curiously. “You’ve done a good job. Did you stuff the wound?”
I shook my head. Harry was still lightly breathing thanks to the adrenaline. But he wasn’t anywhere near stabilized to warrant my work being commended.
“It’ll be enough until my friend gets here,” he said.
I looked at him, skeptically.
“The anesthesiologist,” he clarified.
And I blamed it on the shock for being so daft. Dr. Styles had been established in the medical field since he received his degree, it was no surprise if he had a “friend” for everything.
“Is Mary here?” I don’t know why I asked this question. I don’t know why I thought it was relevant. Perhaps because if my mom knew I was bleeding out on a table, she’d be right there. Right beside me. She would’ve been the one driving, bossing around all the doctors. 911 would have been called and she would’ve moved hell fire and water screaming like a banshee to get to me. “Does she know?” I questioned.
Lionel didn’t even look at me, carefully unwrapping the gauze. “She’s sleeping. I didn’t wake her.”
The separate lives of Mr. and Mrs. Styles spread further in my eyes, only their roof and rings joining them.
I unpacked new gauze, handing it to him. The butterfly bandaids hadn’t held, big shock, and blood trickled down in a steady current. How much blood could he have left? Lionel didn’t have time to be surprised, but the stoic doctor looked a shade whiter when he grabbed the gauze. The wound was exposed and he hesitated, simply applying pressure. His hands bloodied by the second.
For as renowned as he was, in facing his own son, he suddenly seemed paralyzed. I wanted to shake him.
Sven re-entered, slightly out of breath. I’d never noticed him leaving. “They’re here, sir. But they can’t get in-”
A spark was lit. Something familiar for him to grasp onto. “Elevator’s been jamming,” he cursed.
I helped apply pressure, and Dr. Styles looked at me, unsettled.
“I’ll stay here. You can let them in,” I nodded, even though there hadn’t been a question.
“It’s deep. So you have to physically stuff the wound with gauze. Have you ever dealt with a stab wound?”
My eyes narrowed. He already knew what kind of injury it was.
Then, mustering all the poise and retort of the First Lady, “With all due respect sir, I can do this.”
“I’ve seen grown men faint at the sight of needles let alone handling an open wound.”
“Thank God I’m a woman then.” I don’t know what possessed me, but my steely gaze must’ve been convincing. Lionel ran through the door, not even bothering to shut it.
Perhaps it was all the hours of being kept to dull paperwork and the maddening helplessness I’d felt for too long now.
But I couldn’t sit around anymore.
I needed to do something.
Sven watched me as I put on gloves and bunched up the gauze, holding my breath as I pushed it past the skin’s opening, ignoring his little gasps telling me this was hurting him, and ignoring the hot sensation around my hands. Tissue. That hot sensation was his tissue. I was inside Harry. I was touching… suddenly the anatomy I’d memorized in textbooks was a little too detailed. These gloves were too thin. I kept going and Sven jumped in to help elevate Harry so I could wrap the gauze around his entire abdomen, stuffing his wound until it was full.
We didn’t speak.
I sat on the only steel stool in silence. I may not want to sit around, but right now the floor could move beneath me at any moment. Sven was in the corner of the room, gaze locked to the clock. The minutes seemed to tick by slower than anything I’d ever felt. I could feel time, just like in the elevator. And maybe it was because his time was running out. He could die. Harry could very well die. If I’d chosen to go with Renny, if I’d stayed a moment longer, if I’d left a moment sooner, I would’ve passed the locker room without hearing him, without seeing him at all. What would the alternative have been? An image of Harry bleeding out, cold on the floor made me nauseous.
And still the clock ticked.
I could have screamed by the time they burst through the doors in a flury. Two men I’d never seen before entered in slacks and untucked button-downs. This hadn’t been an expected call. This wasn’t official. They ignored Sven and I, instantly getting to work, which was fine by me as long as I could stay. They inserted needles and attached wires and masks until I wasn’t sure I could untangle him if I tried. The smallest mewling noises came from him, but he didn’t stir. I don’t think he had it in him to move anymore. Only able to give one desperate lolled roll of his head.
One of the men, the anesthesiologist, fiddled with a machine. The whooshof releasing gas sounded when Harry took his first breaths. A slow, but steady, heart rate appeared on the monitor.
Lionel looked at it briefly.
The Doctor and his helpers worked for what seemed like hours. Maybe it was. For how long time felt and despite how intently I’d been staring at the clock, I couldn’t recall when we’d arrived. I cringed as they undid my handiwork, only to excavate deeper into the wound. I know this might be my future when I pursued medical school, but on more than one occasion I had to look away.
Sven had left the room entirely, standing guard just beyond the door. At least Sven escaped the smell of metal and flesh.
They stapled Harry together like meat, a butchered boy on the operating table, like Hasbro Operation except no one was laughing when the forceps dug in, and nobody won.
Every time I cringed, I reminded myself: Harry was asleep. He couldn’t feel any of this.
He looked like a corpse under the unforgiving white light, but the heartbeat reminded me he was alive.
When Lionel Styles finally turned away, tossing his gloves in the bin, he looked whiter than the sheet beneath Harry.
It was the longest night I’d ever had.
But for him, to excavate into his son the way he just had, I imagined it was longer.
——
“I didn’t have to come,” Matt said, for the first time irritance lacing his voice. Golden Boy stood at my doorway, recoiled, after I’d practically growled upon seeing him.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It was a long night.”
And annoying after the e-mail notification I’d received about the DG Pretty Please. Time was running out, and it was the last thing I’d had on my mind recently.
“Why was it so long?”
I twirled my hair around itself in a messy bun, letting it hold itself up. I just shrugged while Matt’s concern mounted.
Lionel had asked me not to speak of it. “We’ll let you know when you can see him,” he’d said. As far as anyone else was concerned, I hadn’t been there that night. There was a reason he didn’t want Harry going to a hospital. Less questioning, less spotlight, less of an impact on their image… it still unnerved me. Such a horrific injury, and yet… it was almost expected, brushed under the rug. Had Harry really been this much of a troublemaker growing up that a stab wound was equivalent to a scrape for Dr. Styles?
Matt set the steaming Del Taco bag on the floor. “Y/N, seriously, what’s up? You couldn’t even stay the weekend on campus? She told me you’ve been gone for weeks.” He sat down at the foot of my bed when he was sure I wasn’t going to turn into a snarling monster. Which, to be fair, must have been a hard conclusion to come to. “And it’s true, I haven’t seen you around at all. You just… disappeared.”
“Okay, it was ONE week,” I clarified. “And we don’t see much of each other anymore anyways so don’t act like you’re so butt hurt that I decided to come home again.”
I wanted to take the words back as soon as I said them. They were the ones we hadn’t said. The ones we knew were true. But a mood had crept through me last night turning me sour against the world. And now each word I spoke was infected with its poison.
His brows scrunched, eyes flashing with indignation, not sure how to handle me, of all people, lashing out abuse.
“Yeah, because youquit your PT job.”
“I got a new one!”
“And that’s fine! Why are you so… defensive right now??” he laughed briefly at the absurdity. “I just don’t know why you’re trying to blame this on me. Where is this coming from?”
I remained silent. I didn’t know why I was blaming him so harshly for our friendship reaching a downward slope. I knew we had different circles of friends, and as gross of a cliche as it was, he was with the athletes and I was with… Renny. Though now I was starting to hang out with Lynn more, too. A part of me envied him for having such an instant community with his team. Isn’t that why people joined sororities? For community? I’d seriously flunked that one, though a little voice told me I just wasn’t trying hard enough.
He looked to my collaged wall, expecting to see our photo strip. But it wasn’t there. He stood up, finding it atop my mom’s arts and crafts bin.
“Haven’t been here in a while,” he said, softly.
I watched him, stood in my room like all those high school nights of old, seeming taller than before. Like in the months we’d lost touch he’d somehow gotten too big for this room, like he’d somehow outgrown me.
“It fell down,” I lied, because Harry had taken it off.
They say your high school friends won’t stay with you forever, that as you grow older, the number of friends you stay in touch with start dwindling until it’s down to one or two. I stopped speaking to most of mine after the first year of community college. People move on. People change. I changed too, even though I stayed behind. But there was always Matt. Of all people, I didn’t think it would be him and I standing apart and feeling farther, still. When these relationships change, the transition feels gradual. It’s like, in some unspoken unseen moment, your lives sync up, and you’re both busy at the same intervals. And then you make plans to see each other, but both of you don’t reach out the day you’re supposed to meet up. Neither of you follow through. Because it’s easier. It’s natural. An unspoken agreement.
“We’ve both been busy,” I said.
“The last time I saw you, you had a massive mark on your neck.”
“You can say hickey, Matt.”
His eyes fluttered, and he looked away. If I wasn’t devoid of emotion then, I’d think it funny how he got flustered just thinking or talking about anything sexual with me.
“You’re pretty close with Harry then?” he asked, ears slightly reddened.
“What makes you say that?”
“An educated guess.” A charming smile lit his face, almost shy, the hostility in the air dulling for a moment. “I’ve seen you with him before, and you were wearing his jersey at the game… I didn’t really believe it though.”
“What do you mean?”
“C’mon. Harry Styles.”
“And?”
He raised his hands as if the answer was so obvious it was floating in the air. They dropped. “He’s not really your scene, is he? I don’t mean that in a bad way, he’s not really my scene either.”
“So?”
“So, nothing. I was just trying to find something to talk about.” He was getting more irritated now, his thumb digging in between his fingers. “Really, I don’t even care to talk about him, let’s talk about you. Please. Have you drawn anything recently? Why’ve you been feeling off?”
I snorted. “Please, I haven’t drawn anything since high school. There’s nothing new.”
He crossed his arms, testing me. “I don’t buy it.”
He was smart not to.
“You know… It took a lot for my dad to ask me to stay behind instead of going off to Princeton,” he said. Every molecule seemed to still around him. “He can barely speak now. The guy who wouldn’t ask you to fetch the boogie board even if you were the one who’d let the waves take it in the first place…” his voice trailed off, a silent sadness swirling in blue eyes.
I remembered Patrick Price taking us to the beach and pushing us beneath the big waves, teaching us how to balance on those harmless foam boards we’d pick up at Rite-Aid. Just three years ago at high school graduation, Patrick was running across the grass playing football with Matt and Dad at the BBQ while Mom and Summer dished out the pasta salad and watermelon. He was diagnosed two years ago, and now instead of serving pasta salad, Summer serves him, watching him closely on his wheelchair. ALS was a nasty disease and it acted fast.
“I can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped,” he finished.
I wanted to say that I was sorry. I wanted to say that it wasn’t him, that it was me. But something else had already consumed me, not letting in the light, finding the darkest parts of me and unfurling them until some spilled past my lips. “You didn’t have to drive all the way down here just to see me.”
“I didn’t,” he said, and even though he hid his hurt well, I could still see it. He stood from the bed, making up his mind that there wasn’t any use being with someone who pushed away anything that ventured near. “I’m helping my dad move offices. The rent is too high now for landscapers.”
“They’re leaving? But you guys have been in the same spot for years.”
Matt gave a shrug, taking his turn at the silent treatment.
“I didn’t know,” I said, lamely.
The chasm between us grew bigger, and I shrunk even smaller, letting the silence and guilt consume me.
“But you wouldn’t want to talk to me about that either, right?”
I swallowed, hard. I deserved that.
And I was too ashamed to stop him from leaving.
Less than an hour later, I was cursing him again. The smell of Del Taco drove my mother away from the living room. Messy wrappers lay scattered around me when the door opened. I may have been too ashamed and prideful to apologize to Matt, but my growling stomach was stronger than both.
She saw me in the same position Matt had left me, and I avoided her gaze, checked my phone. No updates.
The room seemed cold.
“You look like you’re having the same day I’m having.” She came in with a basket of clean clothes, setting it on the floor.
“Mom, I told you I’d do that.”
“No, you needed rest.” There was a flash of pity, but it was lying beneath a thick shell of annoyance. She huffed, sitting on my bed, just like Matt hours before.
She snuggled closer. I faced her on my side, hands pressed against my cheek. She mirrored me.
I waited for her to say something, but in the silence her eyes grew wide, shaking her head. The mysterious reason for her mood like a gorged balloon floating towards a fan.
“What?” I asked.
“I think your Dad has feelings for somebody else.”
My brows scrunched. “What?”
“I don’t have any proof. But we were on a date night last night and…” -she let out a cruel laugh that made me want to hold her- “He was texting her.”
“Who?”
“A waitress.”
“A waitress?”
“Nicole the waitress.”
“How do you know it was her?”
“He denied it. But I looked at his phone when he went to the bathroom. She’s been a little… friendly with Dad.”
“Nicole?? Mom, she’s like nearly forty.” A brief memory of a friendly blonde working in the restaurant trickled up and left a sour taste on my tongue.
“Still fifteen years younger than me.”
My nose shriveled up, the thought of Father being romantic with my own mommade me cringe, but the thought of Father being romantic with somebody else? It didn’t seem… conceivable. My parents weren’t like the Styless. They kept us together. They loved each other.
“Have I met her? I’ll punch her next time I see her,” I said, the words still not connecting with my brain. With the facts laid out before me.
Mom snorted. “Not before I do.” She plucked at a hangnail, a habit I’d gotten from her, and I could practically see the insecurities already rolling around in her mind.
“You’re gorgeous, Mom.”
She gave me a look. “I’ve been stress-eating chocolates. I need to watch myself.”
“Mom.” I frowned, seeing worry behind her humor. “He needs to watch himself.”
She sighed, turning to the ceiling. “I don’t know. I just have this… feeling.”
“Women’s intuition?”
“Yeah,” she breathed, and I knew if Mother was telling me this from her vault of secrets, it must have been significant. She wasn’t one to listen to Lara’s spirituality, but intuition was something she would never refute. Momma turned back, rattling her thoughts together. “Anyway. I’ll just be… shocked. If it’s true. I mean…a waitress? Really?” Silence suspended. The afternoon sun warmed the room a little more than usual, exposing the paled filmy stars on my ceiling to be illuminescent frauds. “Or maybe I’m not,” she said, quieter. Before I could bat my eyes, she changed the subject. “Why’d you come back last night?”
But I could still see the steam rolling off her shoulders. “Do you want to talk about it more?” I offered. The Del Taco turned queasy in my stomach, and as much as I loved her, I really hoped she said no.
She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned anything.” She squeezed my hand, letting me know she meant her apology. She did a once-over at my stale big t-shirt. “Did something happen to make you want to come home?” Her fingers ran along the tops of my knuckles. “Or do you just love me.” Her smile was less than half-hearted.
“I was going to be alone at the dorm again. Renny was going to a party and I didn’t want to go with her…”
“I hate how she leaves you alone. Maybe we should get you a puppy for company?”
I gave her a look and she caved. “No, you’re right. Probably wouldn’t fit in there. You couldn’t take care of a puppy now anyways. Too needy. So, did he like the house?”
Her mind seemed scattered in a million directions. Mine struggled to keep up.
“Mom, seriously whatare you talking about?”
“Oh, I didn’t know if he said anything about it afterwards or-”
“Mom,who?”
“Harry, honey.”
She was clueless of what her words did to me. My heart lurched just hearing his name, and the worry from last night washed over my exhausted frame like a crab on the shore, strong tides like a persistent weight, threatening to carry me away again.
“I’m sure he liked it,” I said.
“It’s an older home…he’s probably used to columns of marble.” Her embarrassed smile for even asking the question made my heart split further.
“Actually, he did say something! I remember now, he told me it was cute. Homey. He thinks the marble stuff is too cold anyways, he’s excited to come back,” I reassured her. The last bit was probably a stretch but it worked. Embarrassment fell away and her smile glowed.
Satisfied that she was happy, I turned to face my ceiling, closing my eyes. The problems with her and Father swum in the back of my mind, but I was too tired to take on anything else. She was an adult. She could make her own decisions. The information settled in a box in my brain, waiting for a moment when I could fully process it and I’d unlock it all again. I could feel the inklings of damage it would do to me if I truly unpacked it - anxiety, anger, confusion, fear, pity.
Family was a constant.
I couldn’t think about that changing, too. Not when I could barely keep my eyes open.
“You’re so sad, angel. What’s going on in your mind, hm?”
I shook my head, shifting to look at the ceiling. I didn’t need to feel guilty for not confiding in her. I needed to not feel anything.
Her presence was like a lighthouse, radiating heat, beckoning me to come back. All without her saying a word.
She looked as if she were going to say something else, but her hand fell back into her lap. “Okay,” she said.
She didn’t even try.
Maybe she knew the fog was too thick for me to see her light.
Then, through the fog, a vibration shook me to the core.
—–
“Y/N, I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon,” Sven stepped aside, the grand foyer to the Styles estate stretching out before me. Any other time, it would be enchanting, captivating. Now, it looked as treacherous as a hospital hall. I wasn’t sure what rendition of Harry was waiting for me on the other side of the staircase.
My feet carried me up a familiar path, my heart pounding at the unknown.
Irrationally, I had to remind myself that Harry was alive. I wasn’t going to find him, not like I’d found my Grandpa in his room.
Regardless…
“Are there people watching him? Is he alone?”
“He’s stabilized. There’s no need for nurses to keep watch.” Sven held dirty linens as he stayed in my shadow up the stairs.
I nodded, the assurances not really meaning anything, not until I could put an image in my mind as to what he looked like. Right now, all I could conjecture was a gray blur for a head sticking out above the sheets. How bruised would he be? How much stained blood would there be? I didn’t know what to fill in the gray with, so my mind envisioned the grim Harry I’d last seen, the Harry that, if it weren’t for the monitor, I wouldn’t have known still had a beating heart.
Each step carried me closer with a horrifying thought. My brain playing connect the dots as I walked.
Pale.
A clay boy.
A stitched up doll.
And everyone knew dolls didn’t breathe.
I didn’t realize I was alone until I turned around. Of course Sven wouldn’t have followed me, but for some reason I wanted him to be here.
Maybe it’s because he was with me when I’d seen Harry last.
“Y/N.” The familiar voice was weaker, but the grim tone was still so painfully bare. Of course he’d sensed me.
When I stepped out from behind the door, I didn’t find a dilapidated monster. Harry lay resting.
“Hey.” I snuck in, light as a swallow’s feather in the morning breeze, floating down beside him and resting my head atop crossed arms. The sight of him shook me. “Raggedy Harry,” I barely whispered, a horrible punch-to-the-gut feeling ballooning in my chest.
Half of his face swelled more than the other, his bottom lip completely bruised and jutted out, with a fairly deep gash that had started to scab. I fought the urge to trace over it.
“Looks worse than it is,” he said, watching my eyes carefully. Besides the pink-red swelling, his face appeared flushed. And despite his injuries, he was still miraculously beautiful.
I didn’t even blush from staring. Loose earthy curls had not been affected by time spent smooshed against the pillows. If anything, it’d pushed them forward, the floppier fringe defying gravity just there above his forehead. People could go to a stylist and ask for effortless mussy curls and not have it turn out as good as his - and this just with his genetics and days spent sleeping.
If I were him, I’d look like a grease monkey.
“Well, I can’t see the worst bits I’m sure.”
His chest was wrapped in gauze, this time not bloody to the touch. It was thick, white, and secure, and suddenly the tears that had yet to spill started pricking my eyes. I didn’t know just how badly I needed to hear the words before he said them.
“Y/N, I’m fine. I promise.”
The heaviest weight lifted from my shoulders, but my body slumped deeper into his mattress from an instantaneous realization. I’d needed Harry to be okay. I needed him here, even if I couldn’t explain why.
My hand reached out, brushing the tops of his hand.
“It would’ve been a dick move if you died,” I managed to breathe. I let out a sorry excuse for laughter, nervously sniffling.
His eyes seemed heavy, tired. The circles beneath them a cry for help from his beaten body.
“You can sleep if you want. I just wanted to check in on you.”
“I’m not sleeping when you’re here. S’all I’ve been doing,” he croaked. A flood of relief washed over me. Being apart from him was the last thing I wanted right now. The anxieties that’d been plaguing me the past 24 hours were muted to a dull simmer, drowned out by the highs of my body being close to his. Noticing his body…
A steady drip came from the IV hooked to his arm. Five pill bottles were on his nightstand, within arms reach. He noticed my staring.
“To stay hydrated.” Then, under his breath, “And numb.”
“I know,” I barked a laugh that instantly felt out of place. “I want to go into medicine, remember?”
His voice seemed lower when he rumbled, “S’right. You’re a smart girl.”
The tenderness in his voice sent an unexpected warmth straight to my chest. “You know that’s also a curse,” I noted. “I think too much.”
“I know,” he said, but he didn’t laugh like I had. It sounded like an apology. I almost jolted when his hand reached out to touch mine, not expecting him to be warm.
“You almost died,” I said, taking a breath. “I was there when you almost died.”
“I never wanted you to be there-” Before I could take offense, he weakly squeezed my hand. “I want to protect you, Y/N. I never wanted you this involved with me.”
“Well we’ve done a shit job at staying uninvolved. You can barely protect yourself. You can’tprotect yourself.”
“That isn’t going to happen again.”
“The fact that it happened! Harry, I don’t think you understand how scared I was. How scared I am. I could be next, I don’t know what they want…”
A horrifying puzzle piece clicked into place. My nightmare of being stabbed could become a very real reality. It wasn’t until I saw Harry wincing that I realized his breath had quickened.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “Shit I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stress you out. We don’t need to talk right now.”
The sting of I never wanted you this involved with me pulled me to the door, but his hand pulled me back.
“No. Fuck no.” But his grip softened again, his abdomen screaming at the effort to pull me back to him. When he spoke again his voice was a murmur, quiet-quiet, so gentle I could’ve imagined it. “Stay. Please. Seeing you here is the happiest I’ve been all week.”
My heart could’ve flown out of my chest, but for the buzzing electrical phenomena his words ignited in me, I was frozen by his sober admittance of want. It seemed all we ever did was dance around each other, literally. As if we were in an old 1700s ballroom, and everyone was dispersing into pairs. We spy each other from across the room and tiptoe around, refusing to seek other partners, yet refusing to commit to a dance.
“Is that sad?” His sincerity broke my reverie.
I leant closer, and his eyes fluttered shut in expectation… But my lips pressed soft kisses to closed lids. “I’ll stay,” I promised, nose to nose. Because my answer to his question would be yes. Something told me the mess of his body finally matched the inside of his heart.
Rather than tilt his head up to kiss me, he tried scooting over in the bed. It was painful to watch. I stopped him. There was plenty of room for me to lay beside him. So I did, scared to touch him.
“I’m not going to break,” he huffed. Tough and untouchable, I imagine being tip-toed around was the exact opposite of what he was used to.
“You didn’t see yourself that night.” Bloodied gauze and feeling his hot insides against my hands was enough to make my own blood curdle. It was enough to make me question if the Harry in front of me was simply a mirage. He was okay now, I reminded myself. But after I’d seen him bleeding out in the seat next to me, I wasn’t sure I believed him to be unbreakable anymore.
“You’re right, I’m… sorry,” he looked away, as if not being able to meet his reflection in my eyes. As much as I could hear regret, I knew he felt it even more.
My hand reached out, fingertips gently touching his raised cheek. “You were the one who felt it.”
He barely leant against my touch, gaze boldly probing my tired eyes, puffy from crying. The longer he stared the guiltier he became.
“Maybe we both did,” he said. The statement seemed to confuse him, brows stitching together. “No one’s ever been there for me like you. And-” he smiled as wide as he could with the swelling- “honestly it scares the living shit out of me. I know you didn’t have much of a choice to help-”
I surprised myself again, the definitive statement flying out of my mouth faster than I could comprehend. “I’d do it again.”
But the words seemed to hurt him more. His head lulled to the side, his prominent adam’s apple moving as he swallowed, deep in thought. “You’re too good for me,” he surmised. Before I could argue, he took my hand, pressing the back of it to bruised lips. He was acting so soft, so vulnerable. Was it the drugs? Was it an act? But if it was, how could eyes lie like that?
He hummed as if we were laying on the beach on the first hot day of summer, despite all the pain he must be in. The pros and cons list I’d written and stashed in my purse was sending out a throbbing heartbeat in my body, burning a hole where my purse lay at the end of the bed. No matter if the list were true, it couldn’t encapsulate the complicated person that he was. It wasn’t a fair portrait to paint. And putting me on a pedestal wasn’t either. “That’s not true,” I mumbled, far too late.
“It is,” he said. No room for argument.
“Did they give you some love drugs in this medicine bag of yours?”
His brows quirked at love, but he didn’t seem mocking when he said, “Maybe.” Emerald eyes were a mix of admiration, torment, and want as they drank me in, and I was sure if I let him stare into my soul a moment longer, he’d discover I wasn’t perfect at all.
I looked out towards his panoramic balcony window. Little flickers of light told of a city at the bottom of the hill, the dark ocean like a blanket for the rest of the world just out of reach. I wondered how long it’d been since the sun had set. Like any night with Harry, the rest of the world slipped away.
I stole a glance back at him, the beautifully broken boy resting his eyes. As if sensing me, he stirred, mumbling something incoherent.
“Too far,” he repeated, opening up his arms.
“I’m not laying on you Harry. Your stitches could burst.”
He growled. “I don’t care.”
And I didn’t doubt it. I came as close as I dared, thankful his shoulder wasn’t bruised as I lay my head in the crook of his neck, hands blindly combing through curls.
I could feel him relax into me, hear the boyish smirk across his face. “My mum used to do that,” he whispered. “Not this mum, my other…” his voice stuttered out. “My biological.”
It grew quiet in the room. An opening to the door of his past just barely letting in light.
“Do you miss her?”
“Can’t miss what you don’t remember,” he dismissed. And just like that, the door to his past was slammed shut. It was exactly what he said about the Styles’s first child Jane. But this time it sounded rehearsed, mechanical, a river of emotion carefully masked. But not to me.
My hands stilled, not sure if I should continue. But he leant into me again, and I continued my gentle work, as if undoing his tresses could untangle messy thoughts. “Thank you,” he sighed.
In some unspoken moment, he turned his head down, his tanned beaten face leant closer to mine. And with the intimate intensity only he possessed, he saw me. Like I was the only woman in the world. The oxygen seemed pulled from the room as time suspended. He leant lower until our foreheads brushed, his brows stitching together when I instinctually drew my leg across him, careful not to hitch it up too close to his wound. Our breathing deepened, the anticipation building as my hand drew across his face, my fingers settling behind his ear. He huffed, irritated at the tangling of the IV chord when he wrapped his arm around my side.
We stayed like this for a while, cradling the other. And just like I had done before, his pillow-soft lips ghosted over my cheek, then my nose, then my chin, until they hovered just over my lips. My eyes fluttered closed, the trail he left leading to one place…
“Y/N,” he breathed. I opened my eyes. There wasn’t any reluctance in his eyes, but something similarly cautious yet fervent, an unspoken sentence pushing against closed lips.
But the sound of glass shattering woke us both up. His body turned hunter, still as stone as he listened for what came next. A hysterical cry drove Harry to stand, miraculously faster than I thought possible, and it wasn’t until he limped halfway towards the door that I realized he ripped out his IV. The banshee scream turned into a chilling wail, freezing me to my core.
My mind went to the worst case scenario. I’d have to jump from the window somehow. The gang must have found us. They must be in the house-
“It’s Mary,” he cursed, stopping my spiralling mind so quickly I was left dizzy. I don’t remember following him, but he stopped me at the door, hands locked around my shoulders.
“She has… fits, sometimes,” he explained.
“I don’t care.”
“Y/N, you don’t have to see this, too,” he said, and the amount of shame that shadowed his face was like a gouge through my heart.
I barely had time to say the words before another scream ripped through the empty house. “I’d do it again.”
With a somber nod, he rushed us out, practically sprinting to the living room where Mary Styles lay cradling her shell-shocked frame on the floor.
“You were gone. You left me,” she sobbed. Her hair was ripped from its usual loose curls and mascara ran down her face like the clear snot running from her nose.
“Oh my God,” a voice mumbled.
But I realized the voice was me.
The glass mirror at the bar had shattered. Shards of glass lay scattered all over the floor. Harry trudged through it, barefoot, bits of red mixing on the marble floors.
“No one was here, no one saw.” Her eyes were crazed as Harry bent over to pick her up and she pushed him away. “No! NO!!”
Fear spiked in my body. I’d never seen someone look so disconnected from the present reality. This was raw. Unpredictable.
But Harry seemed unphased.
“No one saw her, no one saved her,” she wailed. The weight of the words caused crippling sorrow. She stopped resisting, retreating into a shell of herself with choked cries, “Jane, Jane…” as Harry let out his own shout at the effort to lift her.
“Be careful, you’re hurt,” I called out, weakly. He didn’t bat an eye.
“Go through those doors, through the living wing, there’s a closet on your right. Grab the Valium and meet me in the guest room.” He avoided my gaze, looking instead to the direction I should be running to.
“Where in the closet?”
“Black box,” he ordered. Then, whispering to Mary, “It wasn’t your fault.”
But if she heard the words, they didn’t register, her face twisting, her own little trickle of blood running from the tips of her hands.
Her sobs barely quieted as they rounded the corner down the hall, abandoning me in the wreckage.
I was careful to step around the glass, heading to the massive hidden door in the wall I remembered Harry pointing out as the “living wing.” No one was around to confirm if memory served correct, but when I finally found the latch handle and tugged it open, tropical foliage surrounded me. It smelled humid, like stale water and… musky. Like when I had a hamster in fourth grade and forgot to change out its bedding. The light from the moon shone through their giant skylight, illuminating caged birds gently calling behind bars, enclosed in a sizey aviary. A small raised indoor pool made of rock looked like a concave fossil, with a shadow swimming amongst the mossy water. A miniature crocodile skirted to the furthest edge away from me and raised for air, two eyes looking skeptically in my direction. “Toto” was etched into the rock.
There were more enclosed habitats, and at the head of the room overlooking it all, a giant wooden desk. But no closet. No closet.
Frick.
I didn’t have time to ponder the eccentricity of the Styles’s owning a freaking zoo in their mansion. Nor did I have time to try and find a friggin light switch. Not at all.
I walked the length of the wing which seemed just as expansive as their living room. Ironic, I thought. Because this was literally a livingroom.
Then, beneath an arching tree canopy held in a planter box, two wicker handles protruded from the wall with a crack running between them.
Bingo.
They opened easily, revealing a deep closet full of filing cabinets and old paintings. My phone light illuminated the top, where two black boxes seemed to have gone untouched for years.
My foot tapped impatiently, not sure which one to grab. I hadn’t heard any cries of bloody murder, but someone (not me, someone more athetlic) could’ve run a mile in the time I’d been gone.
I reached for the one closest to me. It was velvet, I realized, surprised even this family’s storage containers would have some element of luxury. I prayed to find pills. But instead, a wax sealed envelope holding a thick stack of documents glared back at me. I was just about to secure the lid again when the inklings of a photograph peaked through between the papers. The deep-red seal, already opened, was their insignia, a cursive “S” that looked like it’d come from the 18th century.
Since the seal was already broken…
My hands carefully leafed through the pages, and as if they knew, the animals grew louder, alarming themselves of an intruder. These documents seemed court-ordered. Various signatures adorned the pages using language I couldn’t understand. My heart dropped when I realized what I was holding. Adoption papers. Among them, a newspaper clipping about a boy separated from a violent family, and adopted by rich Americans.
Slowly, with each word I read, the oxygen felt snuffed from the room, another puzzle piece falling into place. One that changed the picture completely.
Wednesday morning at 5 am, neighbors of Sheffield awoke to gunshots at the King flat. After an attempted murder of his wife resulting in two gun shot wounds to Maisie King’s abdomen, Roger King committed suicide. Maisie is currently in recovery, and her two children have been placed in foster care while the court assesses their home situation.
More newspaper headings were clipped out, detailing the TV star rescuers of the boy, how lucky he was and how a wonderful, ritzy life in California awaited him. His entire fate had been changed - but there was no mention of Gemma. And in each photo, the child-like innocence in his eyes seemed vacant, replaced with a stoic sadness I’d only seen glimpses of when he was medicated. When he was too numb to remember to keep up the mask.
For how little the Styles’s divulged about Harry’s past to the American press, in England the story seemed to be the tragedy turned happy ending. At least, to some extent, the Styles’s were owed credit for something. They’d probably paid off the international papers.
Little Harry… My stomach suddenly flipped, the room’s darkness transferring to something physically heavy in my chest. There was a photograph, too, and I carefully wedged a finger where the worn corner of it peaked out from the paperwork, keeping its place as I tugged it out. But when I saw it, I almost dropped everything.
The familiar curly-haired child I’d known from old Housewives episodes stared back at me in a worn blue polo from discolored film. Reddened tear-stained eyes looked at whoever was behind the camera.
There were fresh bruises on baby-plump cheeks, cuts across rosy cherub lips.
I looked away as soon as I saw it, but the image had already burned in my memory. A taste for the shadows of scars I could only imagine he carried ten-fold. His cuts had buried much deeper than flesh; the most dangerous wounds afflicted his soul and stole the air straight from my lungs.
Oh, God.
Oh, Harry.
How could anyone do such a thing? He was just an innocent boy, how could anyone- how often…?
Bitter bile rose in the back of my throat. Dealing with bloody injuries was one thing, but seeing a beaten child had me sick for another reason entirely. This was something evil.
I put the photo back just as quickly. I’d gone too far this time. I’d really gone too far.
So it was almost an accident that the next photo fell out when I was putting back the first.
A man, strewn across a red puddle seeping from his head. A gun tossed at his side. The bile rose again and I refused to stare, but my mind caught the ends of wavy brown hair and a face that wasn’t really quite there.
I should’ve noticed when the animals quieted, I should’ve heard footsteps quicken in the other room, but it seemed far away, muted by the roaring secret I’d just uncovered, my mind fully fixated on the life no one could have known about Newport’s playboy hier.
If Harry hadn’t noticed the velvet top of the box not quite closed shut, he saw the guilt in my eyes when he stood square before the closet doors.
He looked irritated, almost grabbing the closed box from my fingers.
“It’s the wrong box!” I cried, horrified that even my voice reeked of pity. And something else. Fear.
He froze. A flame flashed beneath the dulled emerald, a spark of knowledge I was sure he’d like to forget. That he’d probably triedto forget, countless times. He shoved it away and grabbed the other box, stopping briefly as he walked past me again. He threw a cold glare.
“Don’t be scared of the snake,” he said. “But he doesn’t like strangers.”
As if on command, a giant boa constrictor slithered out from the overhanging tree, tightly coiled around a branch.
I felt my heart lurch in my throat.
“Harry!” I called, but he wasn’t here anymore. And if he was, he didn’t answer. He left, rushing to deal with one mess, when I feared I’d just created an even bigger one. Frozen to the spot as I figured out how to basically army-crawl out of the closet, I ran out past screaming birds and rustling waters, snake eyes burning two holes in the back of my neck as I chased Harry’s shadow.
Hope everyone is keeping themselves mentally/physically well… here’s the next update in your adventure. Please safely read from home ;)
The sun moved slowly up my window, illuminating the dancing dust in the air. Even though I knew dust didn’t have feelings, it all still looked very peaceful, suspended there in space.
I wanted to be suspended, floating, with no obligations or pressures.
Instead, I watched time slip by, slowly, as the shadows stretched along my floor and I lay still, wrapped in a giant Winnie-the-Pooh sheets burrito.
HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx
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Things I want:
Live a life that helps others
Financial freedom
Experience a great love
Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy
To have more dreams and fewer nightmares
Doodle more
Acquire a first edition book, either because an old friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch
To be happy
Please note: not necessarily in that order
It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.
My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I usedto draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough.
If there was one word to describe what Y/N was feeling right now, it would be shame.
Her situationship with Harry was hardly wrong. They were both single, consenting individuals who came to each other in time of need. Affection and validation, to put it simply. It wasn’t like Harry was cheating on someone else with her, yet Y/N felt her shoulders slug her form because it felt like she was the other woman. The secret getaway you receive on the weekends; the ghost of a kiss tempting you on the side.
In a way, Y/N felt as though she was cockblocking Harry and his girl, Sloan. As though Y/N was the sole reason why they couldn’t get together; be together, because doing so meant having to break her heart. It was as if there was an unspoken word that they had given her the opportunity to move on first before essentially rubbing it in her face. Y/N knew it was all in good faith, even if it was not intentional. In fact, she kind of appreciated it–except there was no chance that Y/N would be able to detach herself from Harry anytime soon. Believe her, she had tried multiple times. With each time, Y/N only found more characteristics about him that she admired; that she loved with an inkling bit of annoyance because she wasn’t supposed to like him more. But somehow, her heart found a way to override the logical listings of her brain and overlooked each blaring alarm to stop falling deeper and to start climbing out of the hole she had managed to get herself in.
Sure, Harry was oblivious to her feelings–still perceiving her emotions as overemphasized showcases of her caring nature. Her feelings were friendly, her touches were friendly. It was all friendly. The way she dropped everything at a mere second’s notice because she’s always got Harry’s back was only amicable. Besides, Y/N couldn’t really blame him for thinking that way because it was what they had agreed on some months ago. When all of this had started, it wasn’t what you could call ‘heat of the moment’ because the pair of them continued on with little awkwardness. After that passionate night that had occurred between them, there wasn’t any avoidance–uncertainty, sure–but Harry and Y/N were so close that talking about it didn’t make a dent in their relationship.
So, they made ‘rules’; boundaries and limitations that not only included the sexual aspect of their budding relationship but it also encompassed the confines of their emotional capacities. It wasn’t like they weren’t allowed to catch feelings–they both recognized that controlling that realm was a lost cause because, well, you can’t really control them. It would just be preferable if they didn’t. And amongst it all, Harry and Y/N were both confident that these said hypotheticalfeelings had no possibilities of showcasing themselves. It was easy.
See, feelings made things complicated. For Y/N, it made her soft. It wasn’t a bad thing, per se. But what were once rough corners were now rounded edges that shifted her personality. Being with Harry–as a friend–made her see things from a new perspective; a way in which she saw the good intentions of people that attempted to get to know her. Y/N learned to smile at the small victories instead of scowling at how little she had accomplished. She began to view the glass as being half full and each millilitre as a stepping-off point to achieve a new height–no matter the difference. It was refreshing for her. Y/N rarely thought about her thought process before Harry had come along with a set of eyes that had her comparing the two of them.
Y/N remembered the time when she baked chocolate chip cookies. It seemed simple enough to pull off; she was never really a baker in her years of living but Y/N figured that by paying meticulous attention to the instructions, there was no way that she could get it wrong. And well, Y/N had managed to get it wrong right off the bat. She had forgotten to grab a bag of sugar specific to the recipe so she was forced to use the one sitting in her pantry. The end result wasn’t that bad either. In fact, it was quite delicious but it wasn’t what Y/N was trying to pull off.
With such a mundane moment like that, Y/N would have usually beat herself up for not double-checking everything. But Harry was so enthusiastic about her cookies despite the mishap, going as far as complimenting her with a grin after taking a bite. He was genuine, of course. Harry had said something along with the words ‘now, you know two recipes!’. Y/N laughed at his statement; it was so stupid and silly but damn if it wasn’t true. She just didn’t think of it that way.
See, feelings made things complicated. It muddled your mind and sparked a touch of idealized optimism as though nothing could go wrong. If there were any, it would be faced with calm positivity that encouraged someone that they could fix it with no problem. It was nice at times but now, it was really fucking annoying.
Y/N would find herself scoffing sometimes at how foolish she was being. How she wouldn’t even think of blocking a portion of her day just in case he’d call. She would spend hours at a time convincing herself that she had nothing to do anyway, so that if the time Harry ever did think of her as a first choice for once; she’d be there.
Always available, never too busy. For him, at least.
__
It was the third day this week that Harry saw Y/N at her place.
It was ‘the usual’ for them; to see each other often. Aside from their relationships, they were one of each other’s closest friends. So here Harry was, splayed on the couch of her apartment with a movie playing on the television screen. Y/N attempted to remember the title and figure out the plot about twenty minutes ago but she had abandoned that ship since then. Something gnawed from deep inside her when the realization struck that Harry truly was only there for a movie, a chat, and some food.
He hadn’t even progressed from his position of closing in the distance between the two of them. Usually, Harry would encourage Y/N to lay her legs on his lap, his fingers tracing outlines of whatever image he could think of on her skin. That affection was missing. Y/N could tell because there was a waft of cold air bristling on her side, reminding her that there was a physical distance between their bodies; a sheer contrast from how this is usually projected.
It wouldn’t have bothered her if it was the first night she took note of it. Y/N would never force Harry to do anything he didn’t want. But when the second night came with no difference from before, Y/N had begun to feel an oozing feeling sprouting from her chest. Her heart dropped to her stomach, reacting to the acidity by making her feel sickly. Now, the third night was what confirmed everything for her. It was done. They were over.
“When were you gonna tell me?’
The soundtrack of the movie changed to an ominous one. How fitting, Y/N thought. Harry seemed to freeze in place, his eyes staying glued to the scene in front of him. Though, the stuttering of fingers told Y/N that he had heard her loud and clear.
“What?” He replied, inhaling deeply before shifting his body to face her. Y/N mirrored his actions.
Y/N didn’t even know what to say, didn’t know how to word it. So many thoughts ran through her mind, some more than others. She didn’t know if she was allowed to ask them. If someone were to come up to her and ask ‘do you know who you are to him?’. Y/N would say no because, at this moment, she represented nothing of relevance.
Y/N didn’t know who she was to him anymore.
“That this…” She gestured between them, the distance biting her with the emphasis, “This thing between us–it’s over isn’t it?”
Harry sighed, biting his lip. A nervous tick. Y/N hated that she knew that.
“I was going to tell you,”
“When?” Y/N pushed, “There is no time when you’re going to tell me without making me feel humiliated as I am now,”
It was true. Y/N felt like melting on the floor to avoid confrontation but at the same time, she really needed this to bring her peace.
“I-I didn’t know when but I was. Believe me, darling.”
She scoffed, “Okay, let’s say I believe you. What happened, then?”
Harry furrowed his brows at Y/N’s tone. His posture became defensive, more guarded.
“Why wouldn’t you believe me? I’ve been nothing but honest to you,”
“Have you? What about Sloan? Have you been honest to me about her?” Y/N raised her voice a tad bit. She was angry and frustrated, and Harry was looking at her was a crumpled face that resembled confusion.
“What–I don’t understand why you’re yelling at me. Frankly, I don’t appreciate it. I’ve been truthful with my intentions with Sloan and with you,”
Y/N stood up abruptly just as Harry let the last few words slip from his mouth. The television was too loud, causing her to swiftly grasp the remote and jam her thumb into the power button to turn it off. Y/N stared at Harry for a brief second before turning away from him, hiding her face away from his view. Why was she yelling at him?
She couldn’t upright say that she was jealous of Sloan; how she had harboured Harry’s romantic feelings towards her. Y/N couldn’t point out that it was the third night in a row that Harry had refused to touch her. She couldn’t bring herself to ask if Harry was in a relationship with someone that wasn’ther.
“Y/N?” A gentle touch was placed on her shoulder as Harry approached her with caution. “Why are you crying?”
Y/N didn’t even notice tears brimming her eyes and wetting her cheeks.
She sniffled, “You’re so stupid,”
Y/N shook her head, staring up at his discombobulated face. “You’re so fucking stupid. You don’t even know,”
“What? Y/N, you’re not making any sense right now. I promise you that I have never lied to you,” He pleaded with Y/N to make her believe him.
He didn’t need to do that. She did. It was just another stab in the heart to hear and see him being so patient with her. Y/N hated herself for letting things go as far as they did.
“I know that. I’m just… crying like a baby because it’s not me that you want. It’s her, isn’t it? You love her. You told me that you loved her after I told you how I felt. Do you remember that? God, I hope you don’t,” She muttered the last part under her breath, “You were kissing me, touching me, being with me–but it’s her that you want.”
“Y/N…” Harry began, words caught in his throat as her assumptions strangled him in a place of ultimatum.
Y/N took steps back away from him, now favouring the distance that was between them only minutes prior. She should have done this ages ago; detach and separate.
“You should leave. I want you to leave,” Y/N held her head high after a moment of hesitance.
“We should talk about this,”
“No!” Y/N yelped, halting Harry in place before he got any closer to her. He was magnetic and she knew she didn’t stand a chance. “Please, leave. There’s–there’s nothing to say. I caught feelings when we established that this was. . only platonic. I fucked up. It wasn’t you; you don’t need to apologize. We don’t need to talk about it. You just. . you go be with her. I’ll call you when–if–I’m ready,”
Y/N winced at the numerous voice cracks that littered her monologue. Could she be any more pathetic right now? With that being said, Y/N felt her breathing get a little easier. There was no one to blame but her. He needed to know that for the sake of herself.
Harry mauled over what Y/N had said, his legs stuttering as he contemplated stepping forward or stepping back. He stepped away, nodding his head. He slowly gathered his things sprawled on the coffee table as if to give Y/N a chance to change her mind and let them discuss things. She didn’t.
He was walking towards the hallway leading to the door, lethargically as if the life had been drained out of him. Harry sighed just as the door handle was in his grip. He shook his head, a ghost of a sad smile splintering his face. Y/N wouldn’t have noticed it if she wasn’t watching him closely.
Here it is the final part of Ashley and Harry’s Story! Enjoy!!!
Christmas was a big thing for both the Hanson and Twist families, ever since that fateful day when a new tradition of joint Christmasses was coined, the two families had been intertwined. Not just by their mutual appreciation for the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special, but the adoration between two members of their families, a bond that thanks to the trials and tribulations of life was stronger than it had ever been. At last there was no hostility, no aggression, just love.
Out of the kindness of his heart, Louis had offered to drive Ashley and both the little ones up to Holmes Chapel, normally Harry would, but having just come back from filming in America, his flight had taken him straight into Manchester three days prior, rather than Heathrow. Louis and Eleanor were travelling up to Doncaster anyway, so as far as he was concerned, a little detour wouldn’t be a problem. Christmas Eve was always the best bit, Daisy was finally old enough to appreciate the traditions that Ashley once loved as a child, thankfully the traffic wasn’t too bad after all. “How are those two getting on the back?” Louis asked Ashley from the driver’s seat.
“Daisy’s watching yet another episode of Care Bears on the iPad and Robbie’s spark out, I swear all he does is sleep.” Ashley sighed, admiring her two children who were sitting either side of her in the back of Louis’ car.
“Mummy, when can we get doggies like Brucie and Cliff?” Daisy asked, looking up at from her iPad, as the two dogs sat behind them in the back of the car.
“I think we’ll have to wait and see Dais.” Ashley replied, sharing a knowing look with Eleanor, as she had asked her a few weeks beforehand for recommendations on dog breeders.
“We’re here!” Daisy clapped in excitement as Louis pulled up on Linda’s driveway.
“Thank you so much for driving us up you two, I owe you big time.” Ashley smiled.
“It’s not a problem darling, Harry wouldn’t have wanted you getting the train, especially with the two littlens.” Louis replied.
“I’m sure my mum will be more than happy for you both to stay for tea.” Ashley offered, unbuckling Robin and putting him in his pram, before helping Daisy out of the car.
“Thanks a lot love, but we should probably get back on the road before the traffic hits, have a lovely Christmas though.” Louis smiled.
“You too, thanks again.” Ashley pushed the pram up the driveway, Linda answering the door almost immediately.
“Hello my lovelies! Merry Christmas!” Linda smiled, greeting them all with warm hugs. “Let me grab your bags for you, Anne and Harry are in the kitchen eating mince pies, Gem and Michael are still on their way.”
“Harry!” Daisy ran off into the kitchen to find him as Ashley took Robin, who had just stirred from a nap out of his pram.
She made her way into the kitchen, Anne had already met Robin, but this would be the first time Harry saw him, Harry looked up at Ashley from where Daisy was showing him her new dress, “Hello stranger.” Ashley smiled, holding Robin in her arms, “Do you want to meet your little boy?” Harry nodded, standing up to greet him, Ashley passed him over, allowing Harry to hold him close to his chest.
“Hello little man, how’s it going?” Harry asked, rocking him softly as Robin gazed up into his eyes, “You did it Ash, he’s so perfect.”
“No Harry, we did it.”
The smell of Linda’s wonderful homemade Christmas Eve pie and mash spread throughout the house. Michael and Gemma had arrived after a nightmare journey and everyone was finally sitting around the table ready to tuck into a delicious meal. “I just wanted to make a quick toast,” Linda announced, “the past few years have been interesting and difficult for us all, but we made it through the other side. Although we’ve lost people along the way, we’ve gained two new little sweethearts, our little princess daisy, and her beautiful brother, darling Robin, I’m so thankful to you for welcoming me and Ash as part of your family. While we’ve always felt so welcomed and loved in all the years of our friendship, the arrival of little Robbie has finally completed us all as one unit. So let’s raise a glass to chosen family.” Everyone clinked their glasses before proceeding to tuck into their dinner.
“Thank you for having us Linda, this is beautiful as always.” Anne smiled.
“It’s delicious Linda.” Harry smiled.
After falling asleep in her old bedroom, Ash stirred from her nap to hear nothing but silence from the rest of the house, the nap was well deserved after the lengthy drive up from London. She made her way downstairs to see Harry sat on the sofa, Robin lying peacefully on his chest as he hummed along to the faint sound of Christmas music coming from the speaker on the mantelpiece. “Glad to see you two are getting to know each other, how has he been?” Ashley smiled.
“An absolute angel.” Harry replied as Ashley sat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Where’s the others?” She whispered.
“They took Dais to see the Christmas lights in the village, the little man was getting grizzly so I thought he’d be better off staying here.” Harry explained.
“You’re an incredible dad,” Ashley smiled.
“Ash, I’ve literally known him for less than a day.” Harry chuckled.
“Yeah I know, but I’ve seen you with Daisy and I’ve seen you with our little Robin, and you’re incredible with them both.”
“Mummy it’s Christmas!” Daisy ran into Ashley’s bedroom, jumping up and down on her bed excitedly. Ashley wiped the sleep from her eyes, looking up to see Daisy, and Harry stood by the door holding Robin. “Harry came over to bring us a special Christmas breakfast!” Daisy exclaimed.
“Merry Christmas,” Harry smiled, sitting on the bed beside Ashley, Robin dressed in a little baby grow covered in Christmas robins.
“Merry Christmas to you too.” Ashley replied, “Come here little man.” Ashley smiled, taking Robin from Harry.
“Have you told Daisy yet?” Harry asked.
“Told me what?” Daisy interrupted, still jumping up and down on the bed.
“Well if you get dressed we’re going to take you to Nanny Anne’s house to get your first big present.” Ashley told her.
“Okay!” Daisy cried, jumping off the bed and scrambling to find her red dress and white tights.
They eventually made it to Anne’s house, Daisy was beyond excited, Linda had Robin in her arms to allow Ashley and Harry to focus on Daisy and her present. They led her through the kitchen, both holding a hand each, “Now Daisy, you’ve got to be really quiet when we go into the conservatory,” Harry told her, he opened the door slowly and let Daisy in. “Merry Christmas Daisy.” He led her to the basket in the centre of the room, inside was a fluffy little caramel colour labradoodle puppy.
“Is it mine?” Daisy asked.
“Yep, she’s your little puppy.” Ashley told her, picking the puppy up and holding her so Daisy could stroke her. “What do you want to call her Dais?”
“She looks like honey, let’s call her Honey.” Daisy replied, transfixed on her new best friend.
“That’s beautiful Daisy, she’s going to love you.” Harry told her as he crouched beside her, wrapping her in a big hug.
“This is the best Christmas ever.” Daisy smiled.
Everyone else had arrived at Anne’s and they were finally all sitting around the table, tucking into their turkey. “I just wanted to say something,” Ashley said, “I know I’ve been a bit all over the place this year, I messed some of you around, some more than others. But having you all here means a lot to me, I’m so incredibly grateful that my children have such a loving family. I wanted to give you one of your presents early Harry, before we do the rest later, I know we’re not together, but if anything ever happened to me, I’d want to know my children were in safe hands, I’d want to know they had a loving home with a loving father. Which is why I got you this.”
She handed him a white envelope, he opened it, pulling out several pieces of paper, he scanned over it, before seeing the words ‘adoption proceedings’, “Is this what I think it is?” Harry asked.
“Yeah, Matt hasn’t been an active part of Daisy’s life since her birth, and I spoke to your solicitor and he said it’s completely viable for you to be Daisy’s adoptive father.” Ashley explained.
“This is the best Christmas present you could’ve got me Ash, thank you so much.” He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“I know it’s an unorthodox situation because we’re not together but it feels right.” Ashley told everyone.
“I think it’s a beautiful idea,” Anne smiled, “I know Linda will agree, we’re so proud of you both and we’re so grateful for you giving us two wonderful grandchildren.”
“That made his year Ash,” Gemma whispered to Ashley as they stood at the sink in Anne’s kitchen washing up the last of the dinner plates.
“I’m glad he was happy, it just felt right, even though we aren’t in a relationship he’s been the best father figure Daisy has ever had. When I think about the time I spent with Will, he didn’t love Daisy, he wanted me, Daisy was just an extra. But when it comes to Harry, he accepts that Daisy is part of the package, and he’s happy that she is.” Ashley replied, gazing through to the living room where Daisy and Harry were playing with Honey.
“You’re good for him Ash. You, Daisy and baby Robin keep his world spinning, I know you’ve been through a lot but it’s always going to be you. Regardless of who he’s with he’ll always pick you and the kids, because although he’s probably scared to admit it, he really does adore you.” Gemma told her.
“Mummy! It’s snowing!” Daisy ran into the kitchen screaming hysterically, Harry and Honey trailing behind her.
Harry chased after her, managing to scoop her up in his arms, “Before we see the snow Dais, do you want to open some more presents?” Harry asked.
“Yes!” Daisy clapped excitedly as Harry bounced her up and down on his hip.
The two families lay flat out on the sofas in Anne’s living room, Daisy was curled up beside Anne, playing with Honey, and baby Robin was fast asleep on Harry’s chest. Ashley stood outside in the cold, flakes of snow dancing through the lengths of her hair. She stared up at the blanket of stars, one thing she loved about Holmes Chapel was how clear the sky was, unlike London, was how clear the sky remained each night. “I wondered where you got to,” She turned to see Harry joining her as they both leant against the fence of Anne garden terrace.
“It’s a madhouse in there, I’m surprised Daisy still has so much energy.” Ashley remarked.
“Well at least she’ll sleep like an angel tonight.” Harry chuckled.
“Fingers crossed,” Ashley smiled, “I’ve had the loveliest day today, I’m really glad you’re home.”
“I am too, it was great working on another film, but nothing beats being here with you and the little ones.” Harry replied.
“Harry when we started this year together, I told you I wanted to take things one step at a time, because I was scared, I was scared of what would happen if I opened my heart again, I was scared of getting hurt, and I was scared of Daisy getting caught up in everything.” Ashley told him, “When really I was incomplete without you.”
“Ash what are you trying to say?” Harry asked.
“I want us to try again, as a couple,” Ashley explained, “I know that this might be a bit sudden, but seeing your bond with Robin, and seeing the way you are with Daisy. It doesn’t end there either, you’ve done so much for me, you’ve been more of a rock for me than anyone ever has, I was just so naive I didn’t realise that even when you were half way across the world you were still right there by my side.”
“Ash,” Harry whispered, taking hold of her hands, “I want nothing more than to be with you.”
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Ashley kept her eyes on Harry’s, tracing delicate patterns across the skin of his knuckles as a smile beamed across her face. “That we always knew, but were too scared to say anything.”
“I never felt the need to say it.” Harry’s gaze was intent, as a tentative grin appeared on his face. “But I love you.”
In some ways life had become easier for Ashley since her pregnancy was leaked to the press, she could freely walk Daisy to school each morning without having to wear the baggiest jumper she could find. She was also inundated with kind messages from other women, who like her were raising children as a young adult, she finally felt ready for her baby’s arrival. Knowing the baby was due to come any day, Daisy was behaving more angelic, perhaps in an attempt to make Ashley’s life easier, or maybe it was to ensure she wasn’t forgotten about when the baby arrived. “”Mummy, when the baby comes will I still be it’s big sister?” Daisy asked as the pair walked to school.
“What do you mean Dais?” Ashley asked.
“Harry isn’t my Dad is he? But he’s the baby’s daddy.” Daisy replied.
“You’ll still be the baby’s big sister darling, in fact you’ll be the best big sister ever.” Ashley assured her.
“I promise I will be mummy.” Daisy smiled as they approached the school gates.
“Be a good girl today poppet, and remember we’ve got Lou and Lux’s fireworks tonight.” Ashley told her, holding her tight in the warmest of hugs.
“Love you mummy!” Daisy cried before running through the school gates.
“She’s a sweetheart,” One of the mums beside Ashley remarked.
“I don’t know where she gets it from, I was a little tear away at that age.” Ashley replied.
“Surely it’s her dad, he is a national treasure after all.” The lady smiled.
Although Harry wasn’t Daisy’s biological father, the whole world just assumed he was, he loved her like she was his own, and for Ashley that was enough.
“So do you feel ready for the new baby?” Gemma and Ashley had planned to shop for bits for the baby, but the british weather has other ideas. They’d managed to find shelter in a small vegan coffee shop in the back streets of Hampstead. It was one of those cool instagrammable places with hanging ivy trailing across ceiling beams and pink neon light signs.
“It’s less scary this time, even though Harry won’t be there for the birth, I know he’s going to be the best dad.” Ashley replied, sipping on her hot chocolate.
“Definitely, he’s finally mastered flat pack furniture, he’s set up a little nursery in the room next to his.” Gemma smiled.
“You know a mum at the school gates referred to Harry as Daisy’s dad, but I didn’t correct her. Because it felt right.” Ashley told her.
“Daisy will always be his world, we both know that.” Gemma assured her.
“Yeah, she adores him.” Ashley replied.
“And he adores you. He’d move heaven and earth for you if he had to. Where did it go wrong for you two? You were so good together.”
“Maybe we were always just destined to be best friends, and nothing more.” Ashley sighed.
“Ash, I’ve seen the way you look at each other, even at your house when the pregnancy got leaked, he could’ve easily contacted Jeff to protect his reputation and let us look after you, but he went straight to you. For Harry, it will only ever be you.” Gemma explained, she knew her brother better than anyone else, she knew they were right for each other since they were kids. She saw Harry’s face on the day of Ashley’s prom, when she was a bridesmaid at Anne’s wedding and when she was on his arm at the Brits, he adored her and he cherished her. If Gemma could put the way Harry felt about Ashley into bottles and sell it, she would, because no matter what happened, or what anyone said, he would only really ever have eyes for Ashley.
It was late in the evening, thankfully the rain had held off, Ashley and Daisy were at Lou’s house for a small bonfire night gathering, the kids were playing in the garden, toasting marshmallows on the bonfire with Lux’s dad Tom, while the mums sat in the kitchen eating the leftovers of the takeaway pizza the kids had obliterated. “So when are you due Ash?” Lou’s sister Sam asked.
“I was due for halloween, but clearly this one enjoys it in there more than Daisy did.” Ashley told her, she knew the baby would come soon as every so often she’d feel a little flutter or a kick in her ribs.
“Have you got any names?” Lottie asked, from across the table.
“There’s a couple, if it’s a girl I love the idea of another flower name to match Daisy, and if its a boy, there’s a few nature related names I love.” Ashley had one name in mind, regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl, she wasn’t planning on telling anyone yet, but she knew it would be a name Harry would love and hold close to his heart forever.
All the other parents and children had left, Lux and Daisy were curled up on the sofa drinking hot chocolate while they watched a movie on the TV. “Hey Dais, what are you watching?” Ashley asked as she poked her head around the living room door.
“It’s my Harry.” Daisy whispered, Ashley looked at the screen to see Harry and the boys performing at the O2, the girls had chosen to watch the One Direction movie, a film that captured so many moments that Ashley held close to her heart.
“Do you think I made a mistake?” Ashley asked Lou as she returned to the kitchen.
“What do you mean?” Lou asked, Ashley raised her eyebrows, “You mean Harry don’t you?”
Before Ashley could explain her epiphany the sharpest shooting pain hit her spine.
She gripped onto Lou’s marble top counter, “It’s happening Lou, the baby’s coming.”
“Are you sure?” Lou asked.
“That’s definitely a contraction Lou.” Ashley winced, “Why do I only go into labour in kitchens?”
“Tom’s out the back, I’ll ask him to stay with the girls, Daisy can stay here tonight. Where’s the baby bag?” Lou replied.
“In the hallway, in the cupboard under the stairs.” Ashley told her.
“Ok I’ll grab that and call us an uber, you sit down and I’ll tell Gem to meet us there too.” Lou instructed her.
Ashley pulled out her phone, ringing Harry, even though she knew full well he would be on set filming, “Hey Harry,” She winced as it began recording her voicemail, “It seems as though our little one is on it’s way into the world, Daisy’s in safe hands, she’s watching This Is Us with Lux, she is so proud of you H. I know you’ll worry but don’t because Lou is taking me to the hospital and Gem said she’ll meet us there. I’ve been a bitch these past few months, I should’ve let you in, but we both know that after the way other people have treated me before, that being open and vulnerable scares the shit out of me. I want you in the baby’s life and I want you in mine, frankly at this point I don’t care what capacity it’s in, because you mean the world to me Harry, you’ve been the one constant source of happiness in my life since the day we met. From the day my dad died and you slept beside me because you were scared of what I might do to myself, when I had my first period and you spent your pocket money on a box of all my favourite things and when you were like a father to Daisy, that meant more than anything else ever could. Whatever happens between us Harry, whether we parent our baby as best friends, or whether we grow old and grey together, I will always be your golden girl.”
Compared to Daisy’s birth, this one was a walk in the park, Ashley was sat up in the hospital bed, already fully dilated and the nurses had given her the epidural to relieve some of the pain. “Right Ash, it looks like this baby isn’t hanging around, shall we get going?” The midwife said as she pulled on her surgical gloves. Lou had returned home to the girls, but Gemma stayed by Ashley’s side, holding onto her hand for reassurance. “When you’re ready Ash, I need you to push on the next contraction.” The midwife instructed her, “You are sensational Ash! That’s the head delivered, I need you to push really hard to get this little one’s shoulders out now.”
“I am never letting your brother get me pregnant again.” Ashley huffed to Gemma after pushing through another agonising contraction.
“This baby is a chunky one Ash, I need you to give me one last almighty push, use every last bit of energy you have to push it out.” Ashley used every muscle in her body to push the baby out as hard as she could, until the once silent room was filled with the shrill cries of her new baby. “Congratulations Ash, you’ve got a little boy.” The midwife cut the umbilical cord and immediately placed him on Ashley’s chest.
“Hello little man, aren’t you a beauty?” Ashley whispered, a single tear of pride rolling down her cheek.
“He’s perfect Ash,” Gemma smiled, “You were incredible.”
“Welcome to the world baby Robin.” Ashley whispered, already completely infatuated with her new baby.
“Robin?” Gemma smiled.
“I adored your stepdad, when we lost my dad he was always there for me, he always looked out for me, and I know how much Harry loved him, and it’s the only name that feels fully suited to him.”
Ashley was in love, her brand new baby boy lay sound asleep in her arms, his delicate little hands poking out of the sleeves of his baby grow. Gemma had gone home to get some sleep, which Ashley had encouraged her to do, so now it was just the two of them in the little hospital room. Ashley’s phone began to buzz and she picked it up to see Harry’s face, “Hello stranger.” Ashley grinned.
“Is everything alright? I got your voicemail.” Harry asked from the comfort of his trailer.
“Everything’s great you could even say perfect,” Ashley whispered, “Do you want to meet him?”
“Him? We’ve got a little baby boy?” Harry replied, a smile stretching from cheek to cheek.
“This is our little baby boy, Robin.” Ashley told him.
“Robin? You know Mum is going to adore that, and I adore him too, thank you for naming him that.” Harry smiled.
“It only felt right, I think I always knew that’s what I’d call him, it just seemed to make sense.” Ashley replied, staring at her little boy in adoration. “He’s way bigger than Dais was, he weighed almost double what she weighed when she arrived.”
“She’s going to love him.” Harry whispered, “I can’t wait until I can see you all in person again, I miss you all like mad.”
“We miss you too.”
Robin made Ashley feel truly complete, it was the following morning and she had just changed into a comfier t-shirt and joggers, along with one of Harry’s tour hoodies. Robin was sleeping peacefully in his little cot, having just been fed, as she sent Harry yet another picture of their little boy, a little person popped their head around the door. “Hello Mummy,” She heard a whisper.
She looked over to see Daisy, holding a balloon and a gift bag with Lou beside her, “Hello my best girl, how are you?” Ashley crouched down, greeting her daughter with open arms, “I’ve missed you so much angel.”
“I’ve been very good, Lou made us special pancakes for breakfast.” Daisy told her.
“That’s lovely,” Ashley smiled, “Thank you so much for having her Lou.”
“It’s no problem really, she is an absolute sweetheart.” Lou replied.
“Daisy, would you like to meet your little brother?” Ashley asked, Daisy nodded in response as Ashley lifted Robin out of the cot. “This our little baby Robin.”
“Like my Grandad Robin?” Ashley was taken aback, she wasn’t sure if Daisy remembered him, but everyone loved to talk about him fondly, so Daisy must just have picked up on it, it melted Ashley’s heart that Daisy called him her grandad.
“Yes Dais, just like Grandad Robin.” For once it seemed as if life made complete sense, Ashley had two beautiful children who she loved more than anything else, and finally she knew exactly how she felt about Harry.
Life for Ashley was weird, although they were keeping their distance from each other, Harry insisted that a car came to pick Ashley up for work each morning, he was fearful that she would end up in a situation out of her control, and her safety was ultimately his main priority. Since Ashley ended things they had tried to remain as civil as possible, if they were going to be co-parenting a baby, they needed to at least be on good terms. She sat in the back of the car as it drove through the streets of London, the city that once felt like another world, had become the place she called home. The streets she once feared were now the places that held some of her fondest memories.
Roman greeted Ashley with open arms as she entered the studio for her last day at work, “Morning Ash, how are you feeling about today?” He asked.
“Scared, but I’m ready, I’m excited to focus all my time on my little ones, well Daisy isn’t so little anymore, she starts big school on Monday, it feels like yesterday I was standing in that kitchen with you when my waters broke.” Ashley reminded him.
“It’s been incredible working with you for the past few years, I know you’ve gone through a lot of shit since you’ve been here, but if you ever need anything, you can call me. I think of you like my younger sister, and that’s a bond for life.” Roman smiled.
“You’re a soft bugger Ro.” Her heart skipped a beat, that’s what she once called Harry, before life got all kinds of complicated. “We best get the show on the road then.” Ashley declared, taking a seat at the studio desk and putting on her chunky headphones for the final time.
“Good Morning! You’re listening to the breakfast show on Capital with me Roman Kemp, and for the final time Ash Hanson.” Roman told the listeners, “Seeing as it’s her last day on the radio, Ash has complete control of today’s tracks, so Ash what’s your first song going to be?” Roman asked.
“It’s a personal favourite of mine, and I think the lyrics are something we could all do with a little bit more of in our lives, this is New Rules by Dua Lipa.” Ashley announced just before the track began to play.
“That wouldn’t be a bit of shade thrown at a certain boyband member would it?” Roman whispered, now that they weren’t on air.
“Maybe.” Ashley smirked.
Flatpack furniture had always confused Harry, even though it was supposedly extremely simple to assemble, he found the instruction manuals no help at all, he had spent the first part of the morning trying to construct a crib for the baby. Although he wouldn’t have full custody of the baby, Harry felt that it was right for his future child to have a bedroom in his house. So here he was, random pieces of wood scattered across the floor, he had no clue what went where, or how to assemble it properly, he was losing his mind. The sound of the radio made up for the lack of silence in his house, since Ashley let him go, Harry had been listening to the breakfast show every morning, simply so he could hear her voice. He was meant to be meeting her at the hospital for an appointment at 11am, and wanting an excuse to abandon his flat pack furniture endeavours, he decided it would be best to pick Ashley up from work instead.
Ashley left the Capital offices for the last time armed with several bouquets of flowers and gift bags, making her way to the underground car park where the Addison Lee usually waits for her, “Let me help you with that,” She looked up to see Harry smiling warmly at her.
“What are you doing here?” She asked as Harry took a couple of the bags from her.
“We have that hospital appointment, and I didn’t like the thought of you getting the tube there.” Harry explained as they climbed into his car.
“I am a fully capable woman Harry, just because I’m pregnant it doesn’t mean I can’t get myself to the other side of London.” Ashley told him as Harry pulled out of the car park.
“I know that love, but if anything ever happened to you or the baby I could never forgive myself, I don’t want the press finding out and swarming you, especially when I’m not here to look after you.” Harry replied.
“What does that mean?” Ashley asked.
“I won’t be in the country when the baby arrives, I’m going to be in another film, I won’t be back until December.” Harry told her.
“It’s like that is it?” Ashley sighed, she had hoped Harry would be there when the baby came, she desperately wanted him there when Daisy was born, but that never happened.
“There’s nothing I can do about it Ash, I can’t ask you to come to America with me, Daisy starts school next week, I don’t want her to miss vital months of her education.” Harry explained as they pulled into the hospital car park, still overly concerned about Ashley’s safety, Harry was paying for her to go to a private maternity hospital, meaning details of her pregnancy were much less likely to be leaked.
“Hello you two, how’s everything going today?” Kirstie, the midwife asked as she entered the consultation room where Ashley and Harry were waiting.
“Wonderful.” Ashley answered bluntly in response to Harry’s previous revelation.
“So we’re here to talk through the birth plan, have you decided what’s happening? Mr Styles you’re most welcome to be there.” She explained.
“He’s out of the country when the baby’s due.” Ashley said bitterly.
“That’s okay, is there anyone you want there with you?” Kirstie asked.
“It’ll probably have to be Lou or Harry’s sister Gemma.” Ashley replied.
“That’s good, as long as you have someone who can be by your side, that’s all that matters.” She assured her, “If you hop onto the bed, we’ll do that scan we talked about.” Ashley climbed onto the bed, pulling up her top to reveal a perfectly round bump, Harry moved his chair to sit beside her as Kirstie squeezed the cold gel onto Ashley’s stomach. She slowly moved the scanner across her stomach, the baby appeared on the screen, the sound of it’s heartbeat echoing through the room. “That’s your baby, there’s it’s hands and feet, I’ll give you two a minute alone while I go and print that scan for you.”
Ashley turned from where her gaze was transfixed on the screen displaying her baby to where Harry was sat on the other side of her, his eyes glossed over, “You alright?” She whispered, wiping the gel from her stomach.
“That’s our beautiful baby, a beautiful little person who is going to be loved not just by its family, but by thousands of people across the world, in the same way they love Bear and Freddie.” Tears began rolling down his cheeks, “I let you down Ash, I need to be someone you can depend on, whether we’re bringing up our child in a relationship or not, I promise you, with every inch of my existence, that I will always be beside you.”
When they made it back to Ashley’s house, Harry insisted on helping her take her things inside, she put her key in the door and dumped all her stuff in the hallway, “Do you want a cup of tea?” Ashley asked in an attempt to offer a lifeline.
“I’ll make them, you go and sit yourself down and get comfy.” Harry smiled.
Harry walked down the corridor to the hallway, so Ashley proceeded into the living room, “Surprise!” All her favourite people were gathered in her living room, the One Direction boys and their respective partners, Harry’s band, Gemma, Lou, Lottie and Lux. Roman and Nick had also come along, as did both Anne and Linda who had made the trip down from Holmes Chapel. The living room was decorated with various decorations in pastel shades of yellow, green and lilac, pictures of both Ashley and Harry when they were babies scattered the room.
“Did you know about this?” She asked Harry as he returned from the kitchen.
“I’m legally not obliged to say.” Harry chuckled.
“Mummy!” Daisy ran over from where she had been sitting on Gemma’s lap.
“Hello princess, how are you?” Ashley asked, crouching down to look her in the eye.
“I helped Auntie Gem and Lou get it ready, and I made you something, Harry has it.” Daisy took her by the hand, leading her into the kitchen where Harry was waiting. Harry handed Daisy a box which she gave to Ashley. Ashley opened the box, inside it were four homemade bracelets, Daisy had made a blue one for Harry, a purple one for Ashley, a pink one for herself, and yellow for the new baby. “It’s for our little family.” Daisy smiled as she sat in Harry’s arms, bringing Ashley to tears.
“You are the most precious little lady I could ever ask for Daisy Darling,” Ashley held her tight, as both Harry and Daisy wrapped their arms around her, none of them ever wanting to let go.
The party had died down and only Niall, Gemma, Sarah and Mitch were left, the group were sat together in Ashley’s living room, scrolling through old instagram posts, filling Sarah and Mitch in on the One Direction days. Ashley sat beside Niall, her head resting on his shoulder, and although Harry knew it was completely platonic, he wished it were his shoulder instead. Niall clicked onto Twitter briefly, intending to reply to a fan’s tweet about his latest golf project. “Hey what’s that?” Ashley tapped on a tweet from The Sun, ‘HARRY’S NEW BABY MAMA?’ flashed up on Niall’s screen. “No, no this can’t be happening.” Ashley rested her head in her hands.
“Ash what is it?” Harry asked, taking the phone from Niall, “Hey love come here,” Niall stood up allowing Harry to comfort Ashley, “Gem can you take Dais up to bed, I don’t want this to worry her.”
“Of course, come on Dais, shall we go and find one of those pretty bath bombs and get you ready for bed?” Gemma asked, taking Daisy’s hand and leading her upstairs.
“I’ll call Jeff and ask if there’s anything he can do.” Sarah told Harry.
“What does it actually say?” Harry asked Niall.
“It just says a source close to the pair exclusively revealed the news of Ash Hanson’s pregnancy.” Niall replied.
“Who is it Harry? Who have I wrongly put my trust in? It could’ve been someone who was here today, someone we’ve had in the house?” Ashley panicked as her breathing quickened.
“Hey, Ash, look at me darling,” Harry whispered as he cupped her cheeks, “We’re going to sort this out, but I need you to slow your breathing, it’s not good for you or the baby, breathe with me angel.” Harry soothed, demonstrating to Ashley how to breathe calmly. “That’s better baby, much better.” He assured her, holding her head close to his chest and stroking her hair gently, knowing that it always made her feel calm.
“Your PR person is working on a statement at the moment Harry, they’ll send it to Jeff and he’s going to have it circulated, he says not to worry.” Sarah explained.
“I’ll make sure you have extra security Ash, so they can’t get close to the house, we’re going to do it together.” Harry told her, not daring to let her slip from his embrace. He wanted to protect her more than anything in the world, but he didn’t have the power to stop people selling stories and spinning lies, so for now, his only power was to hold her and promise he’ll never let go.
Harry’s heart had been shattered since his phone call with Ashley, his head was all over the place, the one positive thing he had in his life and he had lost it. After another month of moping about in Europe he found his way back to England, visiting Bath in an attempt to regain some sense of normality. He was now back in London and it had never felt less like home, as he stepped into his house it didn’t feel at all like home. The memories of eating ice cream at 2am on his sofa with Ashley when she had her first heartbreak, the late night two person dance parties in the kitchen when they were barely adults, the time he showed her how he truly felt. It felt as though all these memories had faded from existence. He moped into the kitchen, spotting a pink piece of paper on the spotless kitchen counter, he picked it up, seeing a picture that could only have been drawn by Daisy, it was the three of them. When lockdown slowly started easing, Harry had asked Ashley to pop over to his house every so often to check it was okay, he assumed she must have left it then.
“Everything seems to be going the way I’d like it to.” Ashley’s health visitor assured her as she helped Ashley sit up properly. Since Ashley was now seven months pregnant she was becoming fearful that the baby would come early like Daisy did, she had organised several home visits from the midwifery team.
“So the baby’s not too small?” Ashley asked.
“Definitely not, the baby is nearly the same size Daisy was when she was born, so fingers crossed you’ll get the natural birth you hoped for last time.”
“That’s perfect thank you Dianne,” Ashley smiled as the doorbell rang, “Could you just pop your head round the curtain and see who that is?” Ashley asked.
“It’s a man, with lots of tattoos on his arm, holding a massive bunch of flowers.” Dianne told her, “Do you want me to let him in?”
“No thanks, he doesn’t know about the baby.” Ashley told her, she knew full well it was probably Harry, and she had no desire to see him.
Harry stood awkwardly on the step of Ashley’s house, holding the biggest bouquet of flowers he could find. The door was opened by an older lady, wearing a nurse’s uniform, “Where’s Ashley? Is she okay?” Harry whispered, all sorts of things running through his head.
“She’s fine, she just doesn’t want any visitors.” Dianne told him.
“But I need to make it up to her, I need to apologise.” Harry insisted.
“Sir, I’m afraid if you continue to be persistent I will have to call the police.” Dianne told him forcefully.
“Is everything okay?” Lou asked,walking up the road towards Ashlet’s house, she had been looking after Daisy while Dianne visited Ashley. Daisy stood beside her, holding her hand.
“Harry!” Daisy slipped her hand from Lou’s, running into his arms, “I missed you Harry, I’m a proper big girl now!” She exclaimed.
“I missed you too princess, it’s so good to see you,” Harry held her tight as a single tear rolled down his face.
“I don’t think this is a good idea Harry, if Ash sees-”
“I don’t see what the problem is Lou,” Harry replied.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to let Daisy come inside and then I need you to leave.” Dianne insisted.
“What is going on? I have no clue who you are so why should I trust you with Daisy?” Harry replied.
Ashley was watching the commotion unfold from behind the curtain, she couldn’t watch it go on much longer, and she didn’t want the neighbours involving themselves. “Harry.” She said softly, appearing at the front door, he looked up at her, noticing the bump, and the look on her face.
“You’re pregnant?” His voice wobbled.
“Yeah I am, can we have this conversation inside? Lou, would Daisy be able to go back to yours for a bit?”
“Of course.” Lou smiled, taking Daisy from Harry’s arms.
The pair made their way into the living room, both aware of how difficult this conversation would be, “Why didn’t you tell me Ash?” Harry asked, placing the flowers on the side.
“I never really knew how to, you weren’t here, and part of me wanted to be sure that when you came back it would be for me, not for the baby.” Ashley told him.
“Did you not think I deserved to know?” Harry asked.
“Do you not think I deserved to have you by my side as I gave evidence against Will for beating me up after he found out about me and you?” Ashley replied bluntly.
“I know I messed up.”
“You can say that again.” Ashley remarked.
“You’re the most important thing in my life Ash, I need you more than anyone else.”
“It’s too late for that.” Ashley told him.
“But what about us? What about the baby?” Harry asked, “We’re good together Ash, you know that.”
“Are we though? We were together for two months, we barely spent any time together before I got pregnant, Daisy starts school in September, I can’t leave London just to follow you around the world.”
“I’m not asking you to do that Ash, I’m asking you for another chance.” Harry replied.
“We can’t be those people Harry,” Ashley told him, “You’ll still see the baby, you’ll still be their dad, I just can’t do this to myself, I can’t let myself love you more than I already do, only to be let down again. Whenever you’re in America all it does is drive a wedge between us.”
“What did you want me to do? Drop everything and come back?” Harry said.
“Yes Harry, because that is what being in a relationship comes down to. Sacrifice.” Ashley cried, “I think you need to leave now.”
“Before I go, who else knows about the baby?” Harry asked.
“Lou, Lottie, Niall and Louis.” Ashley whispered, knowing how much it would hurt him.
“So our mums don’t know?” Harry asked.
“No. Because I knew what would happen if they did.”
“I want you to know, you never have to worry about a custody battle, I don’t want to take a baby away from their mum.” Harry assured her.
“Goodbye Harry.”
“Goodbye Ash.” As Harry left Ashley’s house he felt as though he could crumble right there on the pavement outside her house, he loved Ashley in ways he had never loved anyone else and he didn’t want a life without her.
Harry had a habit of turning up at Gemma’s house unannounced when he was upset, there he stood on her doorstep as she opened the door to her brother with tear stained cheeks. “Come here H,” She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back as he sobbed into her shoulder.
“I’ve ruined everything Gem.” he cried.
“It can’t be that bad H,” she assured him.
“Ash is pregnant, and she doesn’t want me back, she doesn’t want to let herself get hurt again.” He told her.
“Oh Harry, come on, let’s get you a drink so you can explain properly.” She led him into the kitchen, taking a glass and pouring him some of Michael’s whiskey. “I’m lost, so Ash is pregnant?”
“When did you last see her?” Harry asked.
“It must have been the Brits, we had planned to have a picnic for Daisy’s birthday but she said she was unwell, so I guess that was because of the baby.” Gemma told him.
“She said she didn’t tell me because she wanted me to come back because of her, not because of the baby. I get that, I do, I think I just assumed she would always be there, and that I’d never lose her, but I was so wrong wasn’t I?” Harry sighed, downing his glass of whiskey in one go before pouring another one.
“Harry you are Ash’s world, her heart beats for you, I don’t see this break, or whatever it is lasting, there’s no way you two could co-parent a child without ending up together again.” Gemma assured him.
“I know I should’ve come back Gem, and I wish I did, but I was scared that one day I’d break her heart, but it looks like I’ve already done the one thing I was scared of.” Harry sighed, fiddling with the rim of his glass.
“It’ll get better H, I promise.”
“Can I stay here tonight Gem? Home doesn’t really feel like home at the moment.”
“Of course you can H.”
The cool breeze of the summer evening came through the open window as Ashley sat on the living room floor, looking through old pictures of her and Harry. After putting Daisy to bed she put on one of Harry’s hoodies he had left before lockdown as the faint sound of When We Were Young by Adele came from her record player. She sifted through the pictures, remembering how much easier life was back then,pictures from the band’s first and last arena tours, pictures of Harry and Daisy when she was a little baby, her favourite picture of them both, which did nothing but shatter her heart. Those days when all she was to the world was their favourite candidate for Harry’s secret girlfriend, during the days of the band she was pictured with him constantly, she was blamed for his break up with Taylor and the failure of his on and off relationship with Kendall. That man meant everything to her, which made the pain even more unbearable, she didn’t want to let him go, but it was what she needed, and she knew that. A harsh knock on the door bought her out of her feels, she made her way to the hallway, opening the door to see Gemma, “Can I come in? Before you ask, Harry doesn’t know I’m here.” She told her.
“Sure,” Ashley smiled, leading her into the kitchen, not wanting Gemma to see the piles of old pictures on the floor in the living room.
“How have you been?” Gemma asked, noticing how red and puffy Ashley’s cheeks were.
“I’ll get there Gem, I’m just not in a place to raise two children while worrying about my relationship with Harry, I know he’s there for me emotionally, but with a four year old and another baby on the way, I need him there physically too.”
“I get that, and I know he’s going to be in and out of the country a lot, it’s his job, but he’ll never deprive you of time with your child. When he goes away the rest of us will all be here to support you.” Gemma told her.
Several days had passed and Linda had travelled down from Holmes Chapel to be with her daughter, she let herself into the house using her spare key. As she entered the living room she saw Ashley curled up on the sofa, cradling her baby bump. “Where’s Daisy?” Linda whispered, knowing Ashley wouldn’t want her to see her in this state.
“She stayed the night at Lou’s.” Ashley sniffed.
“And how are you sweetheart?” Linda asked, sitting beside her and allowing Ashley to rest her head in her lap.
“I didn’t know how much I needed Harry until I let him go.” Ashley whispered.
“I know angel, but it’s going to be alright in the end.”
Ashley stared at the clock, the taxi to take her to the court was due to arrive in a matter of minutes, and yet Harry was nowhere to be seen, when she told him about the new date for the trial he promised he’d be by her side. But here she was, sitting alone on her sofa, she heard her doorbell ring, meaning the taxi driver had arrived, she was still managing to hide the bump, knowing there would be members of the press loitering outside trying to get a good picture. If Ashley was completely honest, she still hadn’t told Harry about the baby, even though she was almost five months pregnant, even when lockdown measures eased Harry still didn’t come back home. Ashley wasn’t stupid, she knew where he was because she followed dozens of fans on twitter, she knew full well he was having a nice time in Italy. Lottie was looking after Daisy, and Lou had agreed to meet Ashley at court, she had also been called as a witness, seeing as she was the one who found Ashley lying on the floor in the first place. Without the support of Lou, Lottie and Louis, Ashley had no clue where she’d be by now, they were the only people who knew about the baby, even when her mum came to London for Daisy’s birthday, she couldn’t tell her. Compared to Daisy’s pregnancy she felt so disconnected, she had been to all the necessary scans, but she didn’t feel the glow, she didn’t feel the joy, she just felt alone.
As she had expected there were several members of the press waiting outside the court, although neither Ashley or Harry had publicly confirmed their relationship, most people had worked it out. Ashley climbed out of the taxi, ensuring her top effectively concealed her baby bump. Lou was there to meet her, welcoming her with open arms. The pair made their way up the stairs and into the court building, “So Harry’s a no show then?” Lou asked.
“Yep, I’ve been texting him all week, as far as I was aware he was going to be here today.” Ashley explained.
“Oh Ash, I’m so sorry, how’s things with you and the baby?”
“Fine, I almost feel like it’s not real, Harry still doesn’t know.” Ashley told her.
“When do you think you’ll tell him?” Lou asked.
“When he decides to show up.”
“Hello stranger,” Ashley looked over her shoulder to see both Louis and Niall, she half expected Louis to come, but seeing Niall provided an added sense of relief, “Lou thought you might need some moral support.” Niall told her.
“You have no idea how glad I am to see you both,” Ashley told them, “I know it’s a big thing for you both to come, so it truly means the world to me.”
“Ash, we’ve been mates for ten years, that counts for something.” Louis assured her.
“Try telling Harry that.” Ashley replied.
“Is he not coming?” Niall asked.
“He’s sunning it up in Italy,” Ashley remarked bitterly, as Will and his barrister walked past the group.
“There goes the man of the hour,” Niall muttered.
“I swear if I’d been there I would’ve decked him,” Louis told them discreetly.
The trial was well in progress and Ashley had finally been called to the stand, as she stepped up to the box she looked up at Louis, Niall and Lou. “I swear that the evidence I give today shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” she read from the sheet.
“Thank you, Miss Hanson you’re in a relationship with Mr Harry Styles aren’t you?” The barrister asked.
“I mean I’m not really sure what relevance that has,” Ashley told him.
“It’s relevant Miss Hanson, when did your dalliances with Mr Styles start?” He continued.
“December last year.”
“When you were still in a relationship with my client Mr Clarkson?”
“We kissed two weeks before Will attacked me,” Ashley told him.
“Did it ever go further than that?” He asked.
“No, not when I was with Will.” Ashley replied.
“So, do you not think it was expected for Will to be angry that his partner of a year cheated on him with a global megastar?”
“I don’t really see how Harry’s success and wealth have any relevance, and I don’t understand how you can try and blame me for Will’s actions,” Ashley told him, “You seem to be trying to justify his unlawful beating of a woman, by the fact that whilst I was in an unloving relationship I was in love with another man, who yes on several occasions I met up in secret with. But last time I checked, nothing I have ever done with Harry has been illegal.”
“Are you pregnant Miss Hanson?” He asked her abruptly.
“How the fuck do they know about that?” Louis whispered to Lou.
Ashley remained silent, “I’ll ask the question again, are you pregnant Miss Hanson?” Will’s barrister asked.
“Yes I am, not that I see how that’s relevant, and that information stays within this courtroom, if me or our legal team hear of that information being leaked to the press you will be sued for every last penny you have.”
“And when was the baby conceived?” He asked.
“February.”
“Are you completely sure of that?” The barrister asked.
“Well I know when I had sex with my boyfriend, and I also got an A in A Level biology so I know how the reproductive system works.”
“No further questions, your honour,” The barrister told Ashley.
All the witnesses had been called and the jury were busy making their verdict, Ashley sat in between Niall and Louis. “It’s going to be okay Ash, they can’t let him get off.” Niall assured her. The jury promptly returned and took their seats, “Could the foreman of the jury please rise?” The judge declared, “On the count of grievous bodily harm do you find the defendant Will Clarkson guilty or not guilty?”
The pause felt like an eternity, Ashley was on edge, Niall took hold of her hand, holding it tight, “Guilty.” The foreman announced, tears streamed from Ashley’s eyes as she let out an overwhelmed sigh of relief.
“We said it would all work out didn’t we?” Louis whispered, wrapping an arm around her.
“Mr Clarkson, you will serve a minimum sentence of twelve months, when you are released, the restraining order, preventing you from any contact with Miss Hanson or her daughter. Take him down.” The judge said.
“I can’t believe it’s finally over,” Ashley whispered, watching as Will was taken down to the holding area.
“You were incredible Ash,” Lou told her.
“You really were, how about we all go for drinks to celebrate?” Louis suggested.
“Not sure if that’s the best idea,” Ashley replied, gesturing to her bump. “But Lottie’s back at mine looking after Daisy, we could go back and join them, order in a takeaway like the old days?”
“That is an incredible idea,” Niall declared, throwing an arm around Ashley’s shoulder before the group made their way out of the building.
Back at Ashley’s house everyone was sitting in the living room, watching Daisy as she performed a new dance that she had been perfecting, Ashley stood at the island in the kitchen, organising all the food that had been delivered from the chinese takeaway. “Anything I can do to help?” Niall asked, appearing at the door.
“If you could just unwrap those few things and take them into the kitchen you’d be a lifesaver.” Ashley smiled, gesturing to the untouch carrier bag.
“So how are things going with our dear Harold?” Niall asked.
“I never know what’s going on with him Niall, he promised me he would come back for the trial, he knew exactly when it was, he also missed Daisy’s fourth birthday, and I haven’t had the chance to tell him about the baby.” Ashley explained.
“How come you haven’t told him?” Niall continued.
“It didn’t seem right to tell him over facetime, and I don’t have a clue how to tell him, I know he wants a family more than anything, but whenever gets on tour I will effectively be a single parent.” Ashley explained.
“I’m so sorry Ash, it’s a shit situation, but I think there’s more than enough love between you two to make things work, and besides, now his schedule is way less busy than when we were touring as a band, he’ll put in the effort to make it work for you both.” Niall assured her.
“I’m worried though, if you were Harry, would you have handled it how he has?” Ashley replied.
“Probably not Ash, but you know what he’s like, sometimes he likes to work things out in his own space.” Niall replied.
“I just wanted him there more than anything Niall.” Ashley sighed, glancing at the photobooth pictures of them from his 21st birthday that sat in a frame on the window sill, Niall proceeded to take a couple of the plates into the living room as Ashley picked up the frame. “Come back to me H.” She whispered, looking up at the amber sunset.
February 2015
“Happy birthday Harry!” Ashley slurred as she entered the venue, stumbling with each step.
“Hey there Ash, I’ve got you love.” Harry smiled, taking hold of both her arms. The party had only been going for a couple of hours and Ashley was already very much plastered.
“You’re amazing Harry, I love you loads.” Ashley smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek, she looked up at him, moving to kiss him on the lips.
“You don’t want to do that Ash, not while you’re drunk.” Harry insisted, moving out of her way, “Come on, let’s grab you some water instead.”
“I don’t deserve you Harry, you’re too pure for this world.”
***
Harry was restless, he stood on the balcony of his room, staring at the starry skies of Italy, over thinking all the mistakes he’d made in the last four months. He felt dreadful for not being at the trial, he didn’t even know what the outcome was, Ashley hadn’t called or texted to let him know. He dialled her number quickly before he had the time to change his mind, she answered pretty quickly. “Hey baby.” He whispered, holding to his ear.
“Hey.” She replied softly.
“How did it go today?” Harry asked, knowing he had let her down.
“He got twelve months.” Ashley told him, cradling her baby bump as she snacked on a pot of cookie dough ice cream.
“That’s good isn’t it?” Harry replied.
“It was pretty shit actually H, his barrister tore our relationship to pieces,” Ashley sighed, “We haven’t publicly addressed the rumours so I assumed Will filled him in on everything, but he knew stuff that only a handful of people were aware of.” Ashley told him, meaning the baby.
“Like what?” Harry asked.
“Nothing really, just little things.” She told him, “When are you coming home H?”
Harry paused, if he was honest, he didn’t have a clue, “Soon baby, I promise.”
“That’s what you said last time H, I haven’t seen you since February, I needed you there today.” her voice began to wobble as tears formed in her eyes.
“I know love, my head’s been a bit all over the place, I needed to get out of the city.” Harry explained, holding his head in his hand.
“Harry you were in LA for three months, thats a fucking massive city.” Ashley told him angrily, “Ever since we went into lockdown I’ve been picking up the pieces of what you left behind, for two months the only person I’ve had contact with has been Daisy, who is now four, in case you had forgotten that.”
“I know I’ve been stupid Ash, I’ll make it up to you both I promise.” Harry replied, his voice now wobbling too.
“Don’t make empty promises we both know you can’t keep.” Ashley sobbed, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore H, you mean the world to me and it’s tearing me up inside. I’m not sure if I can be that person.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she told him the cold hard truth.
“Don’t say that Ash, please don’t do this.” Harry replied.
“Let me go H, please just let me go.” Ashley whispered, she ended the call, the phone slipping straight from her hand, she was broken, they were broken.
I hope you’re all enjoying the story so far! this part is a bit shorter than the rest
Not like this. Not again. This wasn’t how Ashley pictured it in her head, in her head she’d be nearly thirty, living with her partner in a stable and long term relationship. Instead she was sitting on her toilet in the small terraced house she shared with her daughter, who has zero contact with her biological father. The two lines were back, the two lines that kicked off the whirlwind of Daisy’s life. She had no clue if they were ready, it was hardly an ideal situation to bring a baby into, the world was in a state of crisis, Harry was stuck in America, promising he was trying his hardest to get home. “Mummy! Mummy! I need your help.” Daisy shouting outside the bathroom brought her straight back down to earth, she was just about coping with Daisy as a single parent, how in hell would she manage two.
“What is it Daisy?” Ashley asked, doing everything in her power not to be frustrated, Daisy was only three years old so it was difficult for her to make sense of the whole lockdown situation. She was restless and Ashley was struggling, it was hard enough being a single parent, but being in a situation where you’re unable to experience human interaction with another adult was extremely tough.
“Mummy I want fish fingers for my tea.” Daisy told her, taking Ashley’s hand and leading her towards the kitchen, the days continued to drag on and become more and more repetitive. It worried Ashley to think she could end up as a single parent all over again.
Daisy was finally in bed after many tantrums and Ashley had finally sat herself down on the sofa, she was ready to watch another episode of Friends when her phone began to buzz. She glanced at it to see Harry’s picture light up the screen, since he was still in LA the time zone difference meant her evenings were his mornings. “Hi love how’s it going?” Harry asked from the other end of the facetime call.
“I’m shattered H, Daisy’s continuing to run rings around me.” Ashley sighed.
“Oh Ash, I wish I could be there with you, I’ve tried booking flights but they all keep falling through.” Harry told her.
“I get it H, I do,” She didn’t get it really, she knew how much Harry was worth, and she knew that he could get a private jet over to the UK at the drop of a hat, but here she was, thousands of miles away from the man she loved more than anyone else. “H, there is something I wanted to tell you-”
“Hey, Dad wants to know if you’re up for a bike ride?” She heard from Harry’s room as someone entered who she assumed was Kaia, knowing Harry was staying with them.
“Yeah sure, I’ll be one minute,” Harry replied, “Hey love, I’ve got to head off now, what was it you had to tell me?” Harry said, returning to her.
“Nothing, it’s not important.” Ashley told him, she hated to speak of her new pregnancy like that, but in some ways it felt wrong telling Harry on facetime that they would be having a baby, “I’ll speak to you soon.”
“See you later angel.” Harry smiled, and there she was once again, alone with no company but her own, she sat in silence, waiting for something to happen, waiting for Harry to burst through her front door and tell her it was all a joke and he was back in London. But it didn’t happen, it remained silent.
The following morning was thankfully a day off for Ashley, she was exhausted from the week she’d just had. They were still presenting the breakfast show, just from the comfort of their own homes to minimise risk. She was so sleepy that she’d bought Daisy into her room when she woke on, put the TV on and cuddled up under her duvet. Eventually Daisy became restless and Ashley worked out that she probably needed to get out of the house for a bit. Once they were both dressed and ready to go out they made their way downstairs to the front door where several envelopes were waiting on the floor. She opened the first one as she helped Daisy put her little yellow raincoat on, not really looking at it properly, once she’d got Daisy ready, she realised what it was for. The crown prosecution service had chosen a date for Will’s trial, after what he put her through back in December she wanted to see him get the longest sentence possible. Will was out on remand, seeing as he wasn’t viewed as a threat to society, but it worries Ashley, it worried her that she was expected to give evidence in front of a room of strangers.
Ashley and Daisy eventually made it outside for their daily walk, Daisy running ahead down the path. Ashley took a seat on the bench, watching as her crazy daughter ran in circles on the patch of grass in front of her. “Hello Ashley.” She looked up, there was Will, he looked different, but she knew it was him.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ashley asked, standing up to maintain some kind of distance.
“I’m just passing through, how have you been?” Will replied.
“I was doing alright until the date of your trial came through in the post this morning.” Ashley told him.
“That’s not really my fault though is it?” Will replied.
“It’s not your fault that I had to have seven stitches in my forehead and I was almost operated on for an internal bleed? Of course not Will.” Ashley remarked.
“You know what I mean, it’s petty shit.”
“You and I both know Harry’s lawyers will take you to the cleaners, you’re just scared of how this trial might pan out.” Ashley shot back.
“How is Harry? Still keeping my side of the bed warm?” Will asked.
“It never was your side of the bed,” Ashley sighed, “Daisy come on we’re going!” She called to her daughter, “And for the record Will, Harry is one hundred times the man you’ll ever be.” She told him bluntly before taking hold of Daisy’s hand and leaving the park.
Ashley was lonely, time zones played havoc with a long distance relationship, she was so drained from running around after Daisy, with the morning sickness on top of that she had no energy by the evening to facetime Harry. She laid on the sofa, cupping her belly that was only slightly protruding, she hoped things would be easier than when Daisy was born, Daisy had arrived unexpectedly early and she didn’t want to have to face that ordeal again. Before she could fall asleep Louis’ name flashed up on her phone, she answered it promptly, “Is that my favourite Donny lad?” She answered, since the UK had gone into lockdown Louis had been like a rock to Ashley, he understood how difficult long distance relationships could be and he knew how hard Harry would find being on the other side of the world from both Ashley and Daisy.
“I’m very well darling, how are you?” Louis asked, when she’d come on tour with the boys Louis always made sure to look out for Ashley when Harry was around, Ashley always assumed it was his big brother instinct.
“I won’t lie to you Louis, it’s all a big mess.” Ashley sighed.
“Oh darlin’ what’s wrong?” Louis asked.
“I got a letter about the trial, it’s been moved to July and they’re going to call me for evidence.” Ashley explained.
“You know we’re all going to back you, don’t you love?” Louis assured her.
“Yeah, I know,” Ashley told him, “That’s not the worst of it though.”
“What’s up?”
“I did a pregnancy test, it came back positive.” Ashley told him, “And I’m bloody terrified, Harry’s in a whole different continent and I’m here wondering how I’m going to tell him we’re having a baby.”
“Oh love I’m so happy for you, I know it seems like a mess at the moment, but eventually life will start to make sense again.” Louis assured her.
“I don’t even know how to tell Harry, he seems so happy over in LA, and I wouldn’t want to ruin that.” Ashley replied.
“Darlin’ I know how much he adores you and Daisy, he will be over the moon when you tell him,” Louis explained, “You’ll work through it, I promise.”
“I hope so Louis, I really do.”
Harry had been non stop busy since he had been in LA, he found himself accidentally missing Ashley’s texts and calls. The sun was rising as he arrived back home in Malibu from a run, he pulled out his phone to pause his music, he noticed he had several missed calls from Ashley, realising he had missed their daily facetime, it would be the evening back in London and Ashley would be going to bed soon. “Hey baby, how’s it going?” Harry asked as Ashley answered his call, curled up in bed under her white duvet.
“It’s not been too great H,” she muttered.
“Is everything alright Ash?” Harry asked, the concern in his voice raising.
“They’ve set a date for Will’s trial, it’s the 17th July, you’ll be back home by then won’t you?” She said.
“Of course love, I won’t let you face that trial alone, I promise I’ll be right there beside you.” Harry assured her, “I miss you so much my angel, I’m going to do my very best to get home to you and Dais, I can’t wait till I can hold you again.”
February was a miserable month, Ashley longed for warmth, she longed for the warmth of the sun, she longed for the warmth of Harry’s hug. She sat at her desk in the Capital offices, twiddling her thumbs. “You bored?” Roman asked, popping up out of nowhere, “No, you’re lovesick.”
“I haven’t seen him in two months,” Ashley told him, “And as much as I love you as a friend Ro, it’s a bit shit spending Valentine’s Day here.
“Why don’t you head off early then?” He asked.
“I can’t, we’re on air for another two hours.” She sighed.
“I’ll cover for you, you did it for me when I came back from Australia and jetlag got the better of me.” Roman assured her, “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you felt sick.”
“Roman you’re a bloody angel.” Ashley smiled, she knew Harry was at the BBC, so contacted the one person she knew she could count on, “Grimmy! How’s it going?”
“It’s too early for this, you know I don’t wake up this early anymore, only sociopaths do that.” Nick mumbled.
“I need your help,” Ashley told him.
“You’re having Harry’s baby?” He cried.
“No, definitely not, but I need your help to get into the BBC.”
“So you’ve decided to leave the dark side?” He replied.
“No, Harry’s doing something on Radio 2 this morning, I haven’t seen him since Christmas, I wanted to surprise him.” Ashley explained.
“I think my life was easier when you two despised each other, the sexual tension between you two does me no favours.” Nick laughed, “Any how, I’ll call the front desk and tell them you’re coming in, take the back entrance as there’ll be lots of fans, and go get your man.”
“Oh Nick thank you so much, love you lots.”
“That’s too much affection for one day, I’m off to bed for another five hours.”
The BBC was impressive, Ashley never got used to the sheer scale of it, the colossal glass building towered above her, she discreetly passed the fans, not wanting to cause a scene. On her way there she had been texting Charlotte, Harry’s pianist as she was giving her regular updates on what was going on. She reached the back entrance with no qualms, a member of security waiting for her eagerly, “Ashley Hanson?” He asked.
“Yep, that’s me,” she smiled, showing him her ID as he handed her a security pass, “He still doesn’t know I’m coming does he?”
“He’s got no clue, they’re just performing their second song, I’ll take you to the viewing gallery where the producers are, you’ll be able to see him, but he can’t see you.” He led Ashley into the dimly lit room full of control panels and several members of the production team, Harry was strumming away on his guitar while singing one of her favourite songs, her dad used to play it during the summer before he got seriously ill. She’d lie with Harry under the big tree in his garden as her dad cut the grass, the two of them would sing the lyrics on repeat until their voices became hoarse. As he finished the show came off air and it was time for the late morning show, she made her way to the green room where the band would return to once they’d finished, texting Charlotte to ask her to make an excuse for Harry to go by himself. She sat on one of the dark leather sofas, until the door pushed open and Harry stood there, a massive grin plastered across his face.
“Not bad loverboy, not bad at all.” Ashley smiled, standing up to greet him.
“What are you doing here?” Harry grinned, wrapping his arms around her and nestling his head in the crook of her neck.
“You know me, Styles, element of surprise and all that.”
“It’s a bloody good surprise though love, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you until this evening.” Harry replied, his arms still wrapped around her waist.
“About that, it seems that every babysitter in the UK has plans tonight, but we have the rest of the day together.” Ashley explained.
“I can cancel, we can have a quiet night in.” Harry replied.
“Honestly it’s fine H, you go and meet the others, I’ll have a night in with Daisy.” Harry had originally asked Ashley to come for dinner with him and some of his closest friends.
“But once we’ve had our day together, you can come and pick her up from nursery with me if you like, she’s been talking about you non stop since Christmas.”
“I’d love that,” Harry whispered, pecking her lips softly.
After strenuous decision making both Ashley and Harry agreed that a take away at her house was the best option, the press would have a field day if they were seen out together on Valentine’s Day. sticking to their northern routes the pair settled on pie and mash. Having never seen her new house before Harry was beyond impressed with how homely it felt, there was so much of Ashley’s personality in every room, from the pink neon light in the kitchen, to the wall of polaroids she took every time someone new visited the flat. “How come Niall’s on here?” Harry asked, examining the polaroids while she poured them both a cup of tea.
“You aren’t jealous are you Haz?” She giggled.
“I didn’t say that.” Harry huffed.
“Your face did,” She teased, “I’m messing, he came round last summer for a picnic with Daisy, but then it rained so we had one indoors instead.”
“Do you take all the members of One Direction on picnics?” Harry asked.
“Only the pretty ones.” Ashley joked.
“Ash, can I ask you something?” Harry asked as they stood in the playground, alongside other parents, waiting for Daisy.
“Depends what it is.” Ashley smiled, wary of the other parents around them.
“Do you want to come to the Brits with me next week? I was going to ask Gem, but I want you there too.”
“I’m afraid I’m busy on Tuesday,” Ashley sighed, “I’m presenting an award at the Brits.”
“No way!” Harry grinned.
“I’m doing it with Niall actually.” Ashley explained.
“That’s incredible love, I’m so proud of you,” He smiled, squeezing her hand.
“Mummy!” Daisy interrupted their tender moment, running straight into Ashley’s arms.
“Hello monkey, have you been a good girl today?” Ashley asked.
“I’m always good mummy.” Daisy smiled.
“Look who came with me to pick you up bubs.”
“Harry!” Daisy exclaimed, lurching towards his arms, he took hold of her bouncing her in his arms, “I made you a card today Harry.”
“Did you petal?” Daisy handed him a pink piece of card decorated with lots of glitter and hearts, “It’s lovely, thank you Dais, I’ll put it on my shelf when I get home.” Harry told her softly.
“Mummy, can we take Harry to the donut shop?” Daisy asked, fluttering her eyelashes, “Pretty please.”
“Harry’s a busy boy my sweet, you’ll have to ask him that.” Ashley told her.
“I’d love to go for donuts with you petal.” Harry replied.
It was the late evening, donuts had been eaten and enjoyed, Daisy had insisted on taking a picture of Harry for the wall and now she was curled up, watching Moana with Ashley. Harry had left for his dinner engagement, even though he insisted he could cancel. Eventually Ashley decided to put Daisy to bed, as a late night wasn’t going to do her any favours, as she pulled the bedroom door shut her phone began buzzing frantically, she opened it to see several missed calls from an unknown number, “Hello?” she said when she called it back.
“Hello, is that Ashley Hanson?”
“Speaking.”
“Would you be able to come down to Hackney police station please? I’m afraid your friend has been the victim of an attempted mugging.” The police officer explained.
“Is it Harry?” Ashley whispered as her voice wobbled.
“I’m sorry, I can’t give sensitive information like that on the phone.” Ashley hung up immediately, calling Lou and practically begging her to come round and look after Daisy, to which she agreed.
Ashley ran and ran until her legs stung with pain, the police station was a good twenty minute walk from her house, but she was too scared to wait for a bus, the heavy rain didn’t do her any favours, splashing down onto her skin as she continued to sprint to the station. As she arrived she saw Harry leaving, he looked as pale as a sheet, tears filled her eyes when she saw him, she fell to the ground in tears in front of him, “Hey, love, it’s alright, I’m fine.” Harry whispered, stroking her hair as he crouched beside her, holding her in his arms.
“This is all my fault H, I should’ve come with you for dinner, I could’ve stopped this.” She sobbed.
“Ash, one of them had a knife, neither of us would’ve been able to do anything.” Harry assured her.
“When they called me I was terrified I’d lost you, stay with me Harry, don’t ever let me go.” Ashley told him.
“Always Ash, I promise.”
***
It was the day of the Brits, for the first time since the attack Harry had gone back to his house, he had been staying with Ashley since it happened, because she was terrified something could happen to him again. But they both needed to get ready for the awards, and for that they both needed their own space, Ashley had called upon Lou and Lottie to help her get ready, she figured it made sense seeing how well she knew them. Daisy was being looked after by Lou’s sister at Lou’s house, making the whole process somewhat more bearable. “Well it looks like you’re all done, shall we get you into that dress?” Lou remarked, the dress was a mission and a half to put on. Although she was only presenting an award she wanted to prove that she was there from her own doing, not because she was just Harry’s plus one.
The skirt spanned further than she expected, but again it was worth it, “Will I do?” Ashley asked as she entered the kitchen.
“I mean if Harry doesn’t get down on one knee, I definitely will,” Lottie smiled, helping Ashley with any last touch ups.
As her car pulled up at the red carpet Ashley began feeling sick to the bottom of her stomach. She’d never had to do a red carpet before, especially one as prestigious as the brits. The driver opened the door and she was met with waves of excited screams, she assumed they thought Harry was sat with her, but even when they realised he wasn’t, their screams remained loud. She took her place walking along the red carpet, allowing each photographer to blind her with the flash of their cameras. As she left she bumped into Niall who was catching up with some old mates, “Ash! look at you! You look incredible!” Niall exclaimed, greeting her with a hug, “I’m going to look underdressed presenting this award with you.”
“You don’t look too bad yourself Horan,” She smiled, “I suppose this is your first time presenting too, seeing as you boys have always been on the receiving end.”
The awards were in full swing and thankfully Ashley and Niall’s award had been the first one, meaning she was able to fully let her hair down and enjoy the party. “Hello stranger, you up for a drink?” she felt Harry’s familiar warm hands on her shoulders as he whispered to her, she stood up and followed him over to the bar, away from prying eyes. “Love you look phenomenal.” He grinned, unable to wipe the smile from his face.
“I could say the same about you, and your performance was incredible, you smashed it as always.” Ashley told him, “I matched the dress to your bow tie deliberately.”
“I guessed so,” Harry smiled.
“When’s your interview?” Ashley asked.
“I’d say it’s about half an hour or so.”
“You can do a lot in half an hour.” Ashley whispered.
Harry glanced up at her, “You mean? Here?”
“You’ve got a dressing room don’t you?” Ashley replied.
“Yeah.” Harry smirked.
“Well then, we best get a move on.” Ashley took hold of his hand, pulling him towards the backstage area.
Their lips were interlocked as soon as Harry fling the door open, kicking it shut and locking it before they made their way towards the tiny couch. Harry continued to place delicate kisses on Ashley’s collarbone, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this H.” Ashley whispered.
“Oh trust me, I do.” Harry replied, trying to undo the back of her dress, “Did you have to wear such a hefty dress?” Harry chuckled, fumbling with the buttons that lined her spine.
“I heard you loved a challenge, it took you long enough to make a move on me.” Ashley whispered, peppering Harry’s jaw with kisses, “Besides, you’re bad enough with this daft bow tie, how’d you expect me to take that off?”
“All part of the challenge princess, all part of the challenge,” Harry muttered, sliding the straps of Ashley’s dress down past her shoulders, the sheer weight of the skirt pulling it to the floor, leaving her body bare.
“If you’re wanting round two when we get home, you’re going to love my after party dress.” Ashley grinned.
“Why’s that?”
“It’s a lot smaller than this one.” Ashley proceeded to unbutton Harry’s shirt as he removed his blazer and tie, until his torso was exposed, the tattoos Ashley once dreamt of, there in front of her. She proceeded to trace her fingers over his famous butterfly tattoo as her lips found his again. Harry lifted her from her dress that sat at her ankles and moved her so that her unclothed back was against the cold dressing room wall.
“Where did you two get to earlier then? Jack was about to interview Gemma instead, you literally made it with seconds to spare.” Roman asked, it was the Brits after party and the music was booming. Harry and Ashley had just about composed themselves after their fleeting dressing room rendezvous. Harry raised his eyebrows at Roman as he took a sip of his complimentary drink.
Gemma glanced between Ashley and Harry, “Fuck sake Harry, at the brits? Really? Actually I don’t want to know.” Gemma said uncomfortably.
“Ro, shall we go get some more drinks?” Ashley suggested, unable to look Gemma in the eye. They made their way through crowds of people, over to the bar, “So you and Harry at the brits huh?” Roman asked as they ordered another round.
“Are we really going to go on about this all night?” Ashley sighed.
“I knew how you felt about each other, I just didn’t think you’d get down to business at the brits.” Roman replied.
“Make it sound seedy, why don’t you?” As they returned to Gemma and Harry, she noticed they were joined by someone else, someone she recognised as Kendall. She’d only met Kendall a couple of times, and safe to say she didn’t think much of her. Harry used to invite Ashley out to America over the summer when she was at college and they’d spend all day together, until Kendall invited herself over and Ashley was simply the third wheel.
“You know Harry has a girlfriend now,” Gemma smiled, making polite conversation with Kendall.
“Really? who is she?” Kendall replied.
“That’d be me.” Ashley stated, handing Harry his drink and placing a kiss on his cheek as he rested his hand on her back that was now exposed thanks to her new white after party dress. Roman and Harry shot knowing glances at each other, impressed by Ashley’s brazen confidence.
“You? I certainly didn’t see that one coming.” Kendall replied.
“It’s funny how life works out isn’t it?” Ashley remarked, sipping on her cocktail.
“Truly, I should probably head off, it’s fashion week and I’ve got to be up early tomorrow.” She smiled, “See you soon Harry.” She moved to kiss him on the cheek as he swerved her advance.
“Fucking hell Ash, I’ve never seen you like that, I have to say, I’m impressed.” Roman said once Kendall had left the group.
“I can’t help it,” Ashley smirked “I played third wheel to those two for too long.”
“You’re cute when you get territorial.” Harry grinned, kissing the top of her head.
I hope you’re enjoying this story so far! I have a feeling you’re going to love where it goes from here.
TW: This chapter contains themes and descriptions of domestic abuse
Love is a minefield, Ashley knew that, Harry knew that, the whole world knows that, but after what happened at Harry’s house and how Will reacted to it, Ashley knew she had to cut Harry out of her life again. She avoided his calls, ignored his messages, there was no way she could carry on, knowing what she knew. Since that night she had done everything in her power to rebuild things with Will, and it was working, they were happy. Now here she was, at her third Capital Jingle Bell Ball since she became a presenter, Roman was on the other side of the world in the middle of the jungle, so she had full responsibility for the breakfast show. Ashley was no stranger to the O2, she knew the corridors backstage like the back of her hand, she had lost track of how many times she’d seen the boys there. As she turned around yet another corner, her head in her phone replying to Will about how Daisy was getting on, she looked up to see Harry and his team walking towards her, she spun on her heel, walking away from him frantically, before bumping into yet another pop sensation. “Hey, where are you rushing off to Ash?” She looked up to see Liam, beaming at her.
“I’m just very busy, lots to do now Ro’s not here.” She explained, praying that Harry wouldn’t spot her.
“Do you want to go have a catch up? There’s like five hours until the show starts, I’m sure they can spare you until then.” Liam asked.
“You know what, that sounds like a great idea.”
An hour or so had passed and Liam and Ashley were chatting away in his dressing room, they compared how much Bear and Daisy had grown up, and how much the two little ones needed to meet. “Ash, I don’t want to pry, but is everything okay with you and Harry? I only ask because I would expect to see you here together. I remember the days when the pair of you were completely inseparable.”
“It’s complicated, we had this massive argument two years ago, and ever since then things have been weird between us, I don’t know if things will ever be what they once were.” Ashley explained.
“It’s cliched I know, but give him time, eventually, it will work okay.” Their conversation was interrupted by a light tap on the door, “Come in!” Liam called, the door opened and there stood Harry, in a casual t-shirt and trousers, paired with a pearl necklace.
He stared at Ashley as she stared at him, “I really need to crack on with getting ready, can’t present the ball wearing trackies can I? I’ll see you soon Liam.” She made her way past Harry, taking in his familiar scent as she rushed back to her dressing room.
It was almost midway through the show and Ashley was standing beside Liam watching Harry prance around on stage. He made his way through a few songs, stopping to talk to the audience as he always did. When he began singing Watermelon Sugar the arena erupted in screams, Ashley hopped along to it, because admittedly, it was a bop. But then it hit her, like a slap in the face, he’d changed a lyric and put her name in it, she wasn’t stupid, she knew what his game was, and Harry knew exactly what he was doing. “Did he just?” Liam asked.
“Yeah he did, and I’m going to throttle him.”
After the show and another several hours of successfully avoiding Harry, Ashley made her way back to her dressing room, dressed in her sparkly silver mini dress she had been wearing all day. “We need to talk.” Harry said, as he stood waiting for her outside her dressing room.
“I don’t have anything to say to you.” Ashley told him bluntly, unlocking her dressing room door.
“You and I both know that isn’t true.” Harry replied.
“Yes it is, now fuck off.” Ashley said, entering her dressing room as Harry followed behind her, “What the fuck is your problem Harry?” she asked as he closed the door behind them.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel it.” Harry said, standing directly in front of her.
“Feel what?” She looked up at him, he was so close she could feel his breath on her skin.
“Tell me you don’t want me, tell me to leave and never come back and I promise I’ll walk out that door and you’ll never see me again.” Ashley stayed silent, not knowing what to do or say, “You can’t, can you? You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same because you do, we both know how we feel why should we have to-” His ramblings were interrupted by Ashley’s lips locking with his, her hands combing through his messy hair, Harry took hold of her waist, holding her close and not daring to let go. Ashley didn’t have a clue what she was doing, all of her wanted to stay strong and not give in, but it was like she needed it, she needed him. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that.” Harry whispered, resting his forehead against Ashley’s, “Trust me, I do.” She whispered, taking a hold of his hands and interlocking her fingers with his.
19th December 2019
Harry and Ashley hadn’t spoken much since the Jingle Bell Ball, part of Ashley felt dreadful for kissing Harry when she was in a relationship with Will, but part of her didn’t even think anything would come of what happened with Harry. Will had reluctantly accepted Harry’s invite as Ashley’s plus one to his small album release show, it was somewhat relieving for Ashley to know that he was willing to be civil with Harry. Lou had offered to babysit Daisy for the night so that the pair could treat themselves to a proper night out. Thankfully Camden was only a short tube ride from home, so they promptly made it to the venue where hundreds of fans were already camped out in the harsh winter weather of London. Harry’s security recognised Ashley immediately and led her and Will to the backstage area, where some of Harry’s close friends and family were already waiting. “Ash! It’s so good to see you!” Gemma ran over to them both, greeting Ashley with the biggest hug, making up for lost time, “How’ve you been?”
“Good, busy but good, how are you? It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”
“I’m good, life’s busy once again, my brother is so glad you’re here tonight, since you two got back in contact with each other he’s had a real spring in his step.” Gemma smiled, “Are you coming up north for Christmas this year?” in a bid to avoid Harry, her last two Christmasses had been spent with Linda and Daisy in London.
“We’re at my parents’ in Norfolk this year,” Will chimed in.
“Will, we’ve been through this, Dais and I are coming down on the 28th after we’ve had christmas with mum,” Ashley sighed, “Oh, Gem, this is Will, Will this is Gemma, Harry’s sister.” she felt as though she was babysitting him, that she couldn’t truly be herself while he was hovering beside her.
“Lovely to meet you,” Gemma smiled.
Everyone had been sat in the green room for a good hour and Harry was still nowhere to be seen, Ashley felt her phone buzz, she pulled it from her pocket to see a message from Harry: dressing room x
“I’m just going to pop to the ladies room, I won’t be long,” She smiled at Will, standing up from the sofa they shared before heading out into the corridor, she quickly found Harry’s dressing room and gently pushed the door open to see him sprawled out on the sofa reading a book, “So this is what a rockstar does with his spare time.” She said, crossing her arms as she leant against the frame of the door.
“What can I say I’m a man of simplicity,” Harry smirked, standing up to greet Ashley, he moved towards her, stretched his arm over her shoulder to push the door shut, “How long have we got?”
“How long does it take to have a wee?” Ashley asked.
“What?”
“Will thinks I’ve gone to the toilet.” She smirked.
“That’s long enough for me,” Harry told her, cupping her cheeks and pressing her delicate lips against his, Ashley steadied herself, holding onto the delicate fabric of Harry’s shirt.
“Do you want to come back to the green room?” Ashley asked softly.
“I’d rather stay here with you,” Harry whispered.
“I don’t want Will thinking I was taking a shit, come on, I’ll say I found you on the way back.” Ashley insisted, taking his hand and proceeding to exit.
“Just one more,” Harry pulled her back, wrapping his arms around her waist as they became entwined with each other.
“Look what the cat dragged in!” Harry Lambert shouted as the pair entered the green room, drawing the entire room’s attention to the pair of them.
“Found him loitering in the corridor just now.” Ashley lied, returning to her seat beside Will, where Harry joined her.
“Good to see you again Will, thanks for coming,” Harry smiled.
“Thanks for having us.” Will replied, Ashley felt caught in the middle, she didn’t know what to say or who to say it to.
“Harry your guest is here,” Jeff informed him from across the room.
“You’re going to want to see this Ash,” Harry told her, taking her hand and leading her out of the green room, leaving Will on his own.
“Have you bought Santa along or something?” Ashley asked as Harry led her down the corridor, still gripping her hand.
“Not quite, you’re going to love it though.” Harry led her around the corner, to where none other than Stormzy was standing talking to Sarah and Mitch.
“Hey Harry! My G, how’s it going brother?” he said, greeting Harry with a hug.
“I’m doing well, thanks for coming along today, it means a lot.” Harry smiled, “This is Ash, from back home,” Harry put an arm around her shoulder, holding her close.
“We’ve already met, Ash is on Capital, she knows what’s going on.”
“Oh bless him, we’ve ruined his little surprise,” Ashley remarked, squeezing Harry’s little pouty face, “It’s good to see you again though, we need to get you back on the show soon.”
“Definitely, tell Roman to give me a bell, I’ve got to go get ready, but I’ll see you two later,” He left the pair standing on their own, now Sarah and Mitch had returned to the green room.
“Proper little industry know it all aren’t you love?” Harry grinned, wrapping both his arms around Ashley and swaying her from side to side, “I’m so proud of you, I don’t think I tell you that enough, what you’ve achieved since moving down to London is remarkable.”
“You soppy bastard, I’m bloody proud of you too.” Ashley giggled, staring up at him.
“You alright?” Will was standing at the door, Ashley wasn’t sure how long he’d been there for.
“Good, yeah,” Ashley smiled, stepping out of Harry’s embrace. “Just catching up with me old mate Stormzy.”
“Right, I guess we better leave Harry to it, let him get ready and all that.” Will huffed.
“Have a good show H, smash it out there,” Ashley smiled, “I’m so proud of you rockstar.”
“Right back at ya golden girl.” Ashley knew what he meant, the first time she heard Golden it freaked her out, but she’d slowly come to terms with Harry’s openness.
Ashley stood in the vip section with all of Harry’s nearest and dearest, waiting for the show to start, she stood between Anne and Gemma, whilst Will was near the back with Gemma’s boyfriend. She’d seen the set list so she knew Harry would sing her song first, eventually the lights went down and Harry and the band appeared on stage as the venue erupted into screams. As he got into it Harry made sure to look up at Ashley, it made him happy to see the three most important women in his life. “I know that you’re scared cause I’m so open” he sang, looking up at Ashley as she blew him a kiss back before dancing with Gemma.
“You bloody legend, you absolutely smashed it!” Ashley shouted as she ran down the corridor towards Harry, the show having just finished.
“Thank you love,” Harry replied, picking her up and spinning her around.
“He’s playing with fire there mum,” Gemma whispered to Anne as she noticed the resentment across Will’s face.
“Ash, I think we should head off, we’ve both got work tomorrow morning. Some of us do have to work for a living.” Will said, walking over to where his girlfriend lent against the wall, giggling away with Harry.
“We’re actually going to a pub for a couple of drinks in a bit, if you’re up for it.” Harry told them both.
“Cheers mate, but I’ve got a splitting headache, Ash I’ll wait for you outside.” He said before walking off.
“Do you have to go?” Harry whispered, stroking Ashley’s hand with his thumb.
“You know I do,” Ashley replied.
“I don’t like the thought of you being alone with him Ash, worries me.”
“I’m a big girl H, I can look after myself.” Ashley assured him, “But thanks for caring.” She ruffled his hair, “I should go, See you at Christmas?”
“Not if I see you first.”
The tube ride home was painfully quiet, the pair hardly spoke to each other until getting home, Will kicked off his shoes and headed straight to the kitchen, pulling a can of beer from Ashlley’s fridge. “Thought you had a headache?” Ashley said as she followed him in.
“It was a lie,” Will glanced at her, “But you’d know all about that wouldn’t you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ashley asked, crossing her arms across her chest.
“You and Harry looked very cosy back there.” Will remarked bitterly.
“He’s my best friend, you aren’t jealous are you?”
“Don’t belittle me like that Ashley, I can see what’s going on.” Will replied, swigging beer from his can, “He’s pathetic anyway, I can’t see why you’d want anything to do with him.”
“Get out.” Ashley said bluntly, “We’re over Will, we were over three months ago, when I stayed with you out of pity, get out of my house, the house you’ve treated like your own since we got together.”
“It’s him isn’t it? You’ve been shagging him haven’t you?” Will replied.
“No I haven’t shagged him, because unlike you, he isn’t a cheap bastard who needs his ego polishing every week.”
“You fucking bitch,” Will muttered, grabbing the first thing he could from the shelf beside him and flinging it at Ashley, causing her to fall to the floor, “I hope you two are very happy together.” He said before he kicked her harshly in the stomach.
Ashley had been sitting slumped against the wall of her kitchen for a good half an hour when she heard the front door open, it couldn’t be Will because he didn’t have keys to the house, “Ash? Ash?” Lou entered the kitchen, seeing Ashley leant against the wall, blood rolling down her forehead, “Ash darling, Carly said she heard loads of shouting, I used the spare key to get in, what happened?”
“I broke up with Will, he threw that at me, he was jealous of Harry.” Lou picked up the photo frame, the smashed glass falling to the floor as she did, it held a picture of Ashley and Harry in Brazil, Ashley was 18 and Harry was 20, it was the summer after she had finished her exams, and she felt on top of the world.
“Ash, I’m going to take you to hospital, when Carly called I asked if she could watch the kids, Daisy’s in safe hands I promise.” Lou explained, helping Ashley up onto her feet.
“You can’t tell Harry about this, I don’t want him doing anything that could ruin his career.” Ashley replied.
“Let’s just concentrate on you sweetheart.”
For someone who hated hospitals, Ashley slept like a baby, due to the nature of her head injury the doctor wanted to keep her in overnight, just in case there was an internal bleed on the brain. Ashley woke up to a throbbing pain in her head, evidently the morphine had worn off, “Hello sleeping beauty, how’s tricks?” Harry was sat on a plastic stool beside her hospital bed, dressed in a casual hoodie and joggers, he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink.
“My head’s banging,” Ashley whispered, “How long have you been here?”
“A few hours, I called Lou because I never heard anything from you, and I was worried, she explained what happened and I jumped in a cab and made my way here as quickly as I could.” Harry explained.
“You should know that I broke up with Will last night, hence this,” Ashley told him, gesturing to the stitches and bruising on her face.
“Yeah I figured, the nurses said they called the police when you got here, he’s already being questioned, Ash when this goes to court I’ll be right there beside you, I’ve already contacted my lawyer who’s given me the contacts for the best criminal law barrister she knows, he won’t get away with this.”
“I’m incredibly grateful for that H, I just don’t want you to expect anything to happen between us so quickly, it’s going to take me time to heal before I can allow myself to be that vulnerable again.” Ashley explained.
“I’ll wait, however long it takes, I promise I’ll wait for you.” Harry assured her, taking her hand in his, “I’m never letting you slip through my fingers again angel.”
Harry was on Ashley’s mind, it’s all she could think about, the way Will was with him, the way Harry tried to defend himself without causing conflict. It was all she could think about, as she stood at the kitchen counter, stirring the sugar into her tea. “Morning gorgeous, sleep well?” Will asked, snaking his arms around her waist as he stood behind her.
“Fine, yeah,” She sighed, “I’ve got to get Daisy ready.” She told him, pulling away from his embrace and taking her mug of tea upstairs, after working on the breakfast show for almost three years, you would think she’d be used to the insanely early mornings, but suffice to say, she wasn’t. She got Daisy fed and dressed, before doing the same for herself, leaving the house to drop Daisy off at nursery on her way to work, without so much as a goodbye kiss for Will.
Once she had dropped Daisy off she hopped on her regular tube into work, having moved to North London at the beginning of the year, the journey was far more enjoyable. “Morning Ro,” Ashley smiled as she buzzed herself into the offices.
“Morning Ash, how are you on this fine morning?” He replied.
“Not bad, you seem very cheery.” Ashley said as the duo made their way into the studio.
“It’s a brilliant day, it’s Friday, Harry’s dropped a new song-”
“Has he?” Ashley asked, not aware of this brand new information.
“You do have twitter don’t you? The fans were going crazy about it this morning. We’re playing it on the show later, you can hear it then.” Roman explained.
“I had no idea, me and Will were binge watching netflix last night. Guess I’ll hear it first on the radio.”
“Good morning, you’re listening to Capital Breakfast with me Roman Kemp and Ash Hanson. We’ve got some great music to come your way this morning, with some shiny new releases too.” Roman said into his microphone.
“That’s right, for the first time on the Capital network this is the brand new single, Lights Up by Harry Styles.” Ashley sat back in awe, admiring how much Harry’s sound had matured, the song itself was a masterpiece and she was so proud of Harry for being so honest in his music again. She quickly pulled out her phone, hesitant to send him a message of congratulations, but in the end she did.
Harry lay anxiously in bed, staring at his phone screen as more and more notifications pinged onto his screen. He didn’t bother to open them until he saw Ash’s name pop up on his screen, he opened it to see a text from her, his heart now full of joy; H, it’s incredible, you never fail to amaze me, I’m so incredibly proud of you my rockstar, love A x
For the first time in almost two years, he felt at peace, for it seemed his Ash had forgiven him, she was ready to move on, as was he. In a haste he replied quickly; Do you want to come for dinner at mine later? I’ll cook our favourite, H x
Ashley wasn’t expecting him to reply so quickly, and she wasn’t expecting the reply she got either. For Harry to invite her over, when until August they hadn’t seen each other for two years it seemed like a big deal. She was meant to be going out with Will and Daisy, but they could do that any night. Sounds like a lovely idea, I’ll bring a bottle of something, shall we say 7pm? x
Ashley wasn’t really sure what she was doing, or why she had agreed to it, but she cared for Harry more than she cared for their animosity. She found herself looking back through old photos on her phone, pictures of Harry and Daisy, pictures of Ashley and Harry at various one direction shows, along with some of her favourite pictures of Harry she had taken over the years.
[insert pinterest picture]
“So this is a girl from work you’re meeting up with tonight?” Will asked, sat on Ashley’s bed as she curled her hair. He was meant to be staying the night after their family trip out for dinner, but Ashley decided to put that on the back burner.
“Yeah, her boyfriend’s been cheating on her, she found out last night.” Ashley lied, somehow thinking up a complex web of lies was easier than explaining she was going for dinner with Harry.
“Couldn’t you just go another night?” Will asked, massaging her shoulders.
“She needs me now Will, they were together for almost seven years, and he goes and shags her best mate. She’s distraught, we can go out literally any other night of the week.” Ashley explained, topping up her lipstick, “How do I look?”
“Probably just as well you’re meeting up with this girl from work, if there were lads about I wouldn’t want them to so much as glance at you.” Will’s tone surprised her, it was almost territorial, she knew what Harry was like, he was a sucker for dishing out compliments, and Will would absolutely hate him for it.
“Well Holly is very much straight, so there’s no worries there.” Ashley assured him as she buckled up her heels, checking herself in the mirror, the sheer black shirt over a bralette with a leather mini skirt was a risk, but she felt confident, and it was only polite to make an effort for Harry. “I should head off now, I’ll just say bye to Dais.” Ashley made her way into the kitchen where Daisy was munching on fish fingers and potato faces. “Be good for Will my lovely, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Have a good evening baby, love you.” Will whispered, kissing her out of nowhere.
“See you later.” Ashley smiled, before leaving her flat promptly.
In all the years Harry has lived in his massive Hampstead home, Ashley had never got used to the sheer size of it. She felt lucky that she could afford a two bedroom flat in Hackney on just her wages, but this was something else. She rang the buzzer and the gates swung open almost immediately, she made her way up the crazy long driveway, her heels crunching into the gravel. As she arrived at the door, Harry was already there waiting for her, dressed in a shirt, only buttoned halfway of course, with a pair of loose fit trousers, “Don’t you look lovely?” Harry smiled, greeting Ashley with open arms, it had felt like an eternity since Harry had embraced her, his arms made her feel safe in the same way they always had.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Styles.” Ashley smiled up at him, “Oh I bought wine,” She continued, realising that they had slowly become lost in each other’s gaze.
“Oh right, thank you, come through to the kitchen.” Harry stuttered, taking the bottle from her and leading her into the dimly lit kitchen. “Do you want a glass then?” He asked, taking two from the cupboard.
“Oh of course! Feels like an eternity since I’ve properly let my hair down.” Ashley replied, kicking off the heels that were already giving her blisters.
“Is Will not the partying type then?” Harry asked, sliding her glass to her.
“Do we have to get into that again?” Ashley sighed, remembering the fallout on her Mum’s birthday.
“I’m sorry,” Harry held his hands up, “He’s definitely jealous though.” He smirked.
“What’s there to be jealous of?”
“Our inexplicable connection,” Harry smiled, “Anyway, this food isn’t going to make itself.”
“So what are we having?” Ashley asked.
“Your favourite.”
“Which is?” Ashley teased.
“My homemade roast dinner.”
“Is the right answer!” Ashley shouted.
“I don’t think I’m going to need to eat for another five years after that,” Ashley announced as the pair took a seat on Harry’s massive sofa.
“I do my best,” He smiled, “So how’s life been?”
“Busy, work’s chaotic as always, but I love it, me and Dais moved to Hackney at the beginning of the year, Lou and Lux literally live two doors down from us which Daisy loves. She started nursery last month, she loves it so much, she’s such a little performer, look at this.” Ashley pulled out her phone, turning it to Harry, it was a video of Daisy dancing to a One Direction song that was playing in the middle of a supermarket, she looked up to see Harry wiping his eyes, “Hey, why are you getting like that for H?”
“I was such an idiot, I let you down, both of you,” He sniffled, “I missed all the important bits, when she was born I promised you I’d protect you both, and what did I do? I ran away at the first sign of trouble.”
“I don’t blame you, at the time I was mad at you, but I could never stay angry at you, we both know that.” Ashley assured him, taking hold of his hand, “You will always be my best friend, till my very last breath, I promise you that.”
“What would Will have to say about that?” Harry asked.
“Why should his opinion matter? You’re part of my life, and that shouldn’t hinder our relationship in any way at all.” Ashley assured him.
“Do you love him?” Harry asked out of nowhere.
“Of course I do, he makes me happy, and he’s great with Daisy.” Ashley couldn’t help but feel as though she was lying to Harry, she cared for Will, of course she did, but even eight months into their relationship, she hadn’t said that he loved him off her own back.
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Hours had passed and Harry and Ashley had been talking non-stop, about life when they were teenagers, life now and everything in between. “Do you want to hear some music from the new album?” Harry asked.
“Are you sure? I know how much of a perfectionist you can be.” Ashley replied.
“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want you to hear it,” Harry led Ashley to his studio, a room in the house that Ashley had never really spent much time in. He pulled up some of the tracks, playing an upbeat one first, Harry sat back in his seat, trying to read Ashley’s emotions. The lyrics echoed through the room, “You’re so golden, I’m out of my head, and I know that you’re scared, Because hearts get broken.”
“It’s beautiful H, all of it is.” Ashley told him, Harry’s expression was lifeless, like he didn’t want to have to tell her the truth about something, “Wait hang on, no, surely not,” Ashley was slowly piecing together the truth, “Please tell me that song is not about us.”
“I can’t lie to you Ash,” Harry whispered.
“No, don’t do this, things are alright between us now, this doesn’t need to happen.” Ashley muttered as she slowly stood up,
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way Ash, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it too.” Harry sighed, following after her as she made her way from the studio into the hallway where she left her jacket and shoes.
“We can’t do this Harry, we can’t be those people.” Ashley told him forcefully.
“We could be though, deep down you know it too.” Harry replied softly.
“Harry, I know how this works, you find someone, its sunshine and roses for a couple of months and then one day you shatter their heart into a million pieces.” Ashley cried, tears streaming down her cheeks, “And I’m not going to let that be me.”
Ashley slept badly, the following morning she woke up to the sound of Daisy’s hysterical laughter coming from the kitchen, she threw on the first hoodie she could find and made her way downstairs to see Will and Daisy making cupcakes. “Morning you two,” She smiled, filling the kettle up with water.
“It’s the afternoon,” Will replied bluntly as he helped Daisy ice her cupcakes, “You got back late Ash, I was worried about you.”
“Holly needed me there, she got drunk and I put her to bed.” Ashley lied.
“Could’ve texted me though.” Will replied,
“My phone died.” Ashley explained, pouring herself a cup of tea.
“Yeah I realised, hence why I put it on charge,” He unplugged her phone and slid it forcefully across the counter to her, “Might want to check your messages, a certain someone was really concerned whether you got home last night.”
Ashley’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach, “Dais go play in your room for a bit please.”
“But I’m busy.” Daisy replied.
“Just go please poppet,” Ashley smiled, causing Daisy to hop off her chair and run upstairs to her room.
“So are you going to tell me why he wants to know you got home safely?” Will asked.
“I saw him last night.” Ashley whispered.
“So Holly doesn’t exist?”
“I didn’t tell you, because I knew it would make you angry,” Ashley explained.
“Well how do you think it makes me feel that you lied to me?”
“He invited me for dinner, it was just two old friends having a catch up, nothing more than that.” Ashley assured him.
“I don’t know whether I believe you.” Will huffed.
“Will I promise you, nothing happened, we ate dinner, talked about old memories, that’s it.”
“Fine, if that’s the truth, I believe you. Just don’t go doing stuff behind my back again.”
Harry was lonely, isolated in fact. He was part of an industry full of creative and wonderful people, yet he was still alone. He lay in the bed in Anne’s spare room, staring at the blank ceiling, compared to the ceiling in his childhood bedroom it was lifeless, his old ceiling was covered in marks from all the times he had tried to catapult toys into the air as a child, convinced they could fly. He really must have been alone if he was that deep in thought about his beloved ceiling. If he was completely honest he had no clue why he was back home, since the fallout with Ashley he had felt lost in London, opting to spend months in Japan and Italy. Half of him hoped he might accidentally bump into her, he knew full well it was Linda’s birthday, and he knew what Ashley was like, she wouldn’t want her mum spending her birthday alone.
His lonely thoughts were interrupted by a light tap on the door, he shot up as his mum entered the room, “Morning love, I’ve got bacon for sandwiches, but no bread, you couldn’t run down to the bakery could you and grab a loaf?” Anne asked, her charm and grace echoing through the room.
“Of course mum, give me five and I’ll be on my way.” Harry hauled himself out of bed, grabbing the first pair of jeans and a yellow t-shirt from his suitcase. He slipped on a pair of vans and made his way downstairs and out into the early morning summer sun. As much as he loved the big cities he was lucky enough to travel to, Harry always found comfort in Holmes Chapel, maybe it was the people, maybe it was the pace of life, whatever it was, it put him at ease. The walk into the village wasn’t a long one, just long enough to listen to a couple of the demos for his next album, something he was incredibly proud of.
“Barbara! Look who it is!” Harry stepped into the bakery, the familiar smell of fresh bread and cakes hitting him almost instantly, “How’ve you been Harry?” Claire asked from behind the counter.
“I’m good, just popped up to see mum for the weekend, she’s run out of bread, so I said I’d grab her a loaf.” Harry explained.
“Well Barbara’s just unpacking some, I’ll see if she has any of Anne’s favourites.” Claire disappeared into the backroom, leaving Harry with no one but the massive poster of teenage him for company.
“Mummy can I get a rainbow donut?” A young voice asked as the door to the bakery swung open, not wanting to get in anyone’s way, Harry stepped back staring at the reply Gemma had sent him about what they were getting Anne for her birthday.
“I don’t think they do those here poppet, I think they’re a London thing.” Harry’s heart jumped, he looked up at the woman and her daughter stood looking at the cake counter, it was her, it was Ashley. She looked different, her once brunette hair now had a golden haze to it, and she had a different glow about her. “What do you want then monkey? The gingerbread man or the pink cupcake?” Harry admired the sweet interaction, not wanting to interrupt or cause a scene.
“Pink cake please mummy, and can we get one for Nanny’s birthday?” Harry watched in awe, the little baby he had once cradled in his arms was now an adorable little lady, the spitting image of her mum.
“Ashley! It’s wonderful to see you!” Claire chimed as she returned with Harry’s bread, “How long are you up here for?”
“We’re heading home tomorrow morning,” Ashley glanced at Claire, who was looking straight past her at Harry who stood awkwardly at the back of the shop, with no clue how to handle the situation. She turned to see what Claire was looking at, the man who she hadn’t seen she stormed away from him in the middle of Hammersmith.
She wavered on her feet, he looked well, he had clearly been working out more since the last time she saw him, his shoulders were broader. His hair was tousled in its usual messy yet styled way, as always he was exceptionally dressed, leaving Ashley feeling very underdressed in her jeans and Live Aid t-shirt. “Long time no see.” Harry whispered, struggling to find words to end the awkward silence.
“There’s a reason for that,” Ashley replied bitterly, handing Claire the money and taking the cakes from the counter, “And you bloody well know why.” She took her daughter’s hand and pulled her from the bakery, the pair striding back to the car where Will sat waiting.
“Who was that man mummy?” Daisy asked as Ashley opened the car door.
“No one darling, no one you need to worry about.”
“What was that all about?” Claire asked, handing Harry his loaf of bread.
“I was an idiot a while back, I don’t think she’s forgiven me, and frankly I can’t blame her.” Harry explained.
“You two were great together, thicker than thieves, I remember when you both got your saturday jobs here. Dynamic duo we called you.” Claire smiled, she was right, Harry had fond memories of washing up beside Ashley, singing Shania Twain and Joni Mitchell songs as they made their way through a mountain of dirty trays and plates.
“Clearly we’re just not the same people we used to be.” Harry replied, handing Claire a five pound note as she passed him the fresh loaf, “Have a lovely day Claire, keep the change.”
“Daisy, sit still please,” Ashley sighed, it was a cool summer evening and she was sitting in the passenger seat of Will’s broken down car. They were meant to be taking Linda out for her birthday, but Will’s car had decided to throw a spanner in the works. Daisy, like any other three year old was grizzly, and getting restless. “Will, for christ sake just call the breakdown people.” Ashley huffed as her boyfriend stood with the bonnet up trying to work out what was wrong with the car.
“What do you think I’ve done?” Will sighed, “They said it’ll be a two hour wait.”
“Brilliant, bloody brilliant. Sorry about this mum, I had hoped we’d be there soon, but who knows at this point.”
After another half an hour, Will was still adamant he knew what to do, Daisy had been through all sorts of tantrums. Just as Ashley was about to give up another vehicle pulled up beside them, expecting it to be the breakdown service, Will put the bonnet down to see the headlights didn’t belong to a van, but rather a large Audi pulled up instead. The driver wound down the window as Will approached, “Do you need any help?” The man in the car asked.
“Not sure how much you can do for me mate, think this one is passed it.” Will explained.
“In that case can I give you a lift somewhere?” He asked.
“Are you sure? there’s four of us, we’re on the way to dinner.” Will explained.
“It’s not a problem, honestly.”
“Cheers mate, I’ll let my girlfriend know, I’m Will by the way.” He smiled.
“Harry.” The audi driver smiled.
Will returned to his car, “This guy’s going to give us a lift, said he’ll drop us in town.” he explained to Ashley who was getting fed up with waiting.
“Perfect!” she chimed, climbing out of the car, she took Daisy out of the back to get her into the new car. As she opened the back door, the driver turned to face her, offering a warm smile. Talk about convenient, the one person she had hoped to avoid was going to drive her and her family to dinner.
The car ride was almost silent, apart from Daisy talking about all sorts of nonsense. Eventually Will managed to put two and two together, realising who Harry actually was. They pulled up outside the restaurant and Linda turned to Harry, “Thank you so much for that Harry love, I owe you for that.”
“It’s not a problem Linda, honestly, I was coming this way anyway.” Harry assured her.
“Why don’t you join us?” Linda smiled, this was all Ashley needed.
“I wouldn’t want to intrude, honestly.” Harry replied.
“I’m sure Harry’s a busy man.” Will muttered bitterly from the back seat.
“Harry it’s my birthday, and I want to say thank you, you’re joining us.” Linda insisted.
Dinner was awkward to say the least, the waiter had just come to collect their empty dinner plates, and Ashley couldn’t help but wait for it to be over. Daisy was transfixed on Harry, seeing as she couldn’t remember him, he was far more new and exciting than anyone else sat around that table. Harry sat beside Linda, who was doing her very best to keep the conversation civil. “So Harry, when are we getting new music? Ash got me a record player for my birthday and I’m itching to buy some records for it.” Linda told him.
“I’m hoping, if everything goes to plan, to have it out by the end of the year.”
“Sounds wonderful Harry, I have missed you awfully,” Linda smiled, to her Harry was like the son she never had, she adored him completely, so when a wedge was driven between Harry and Ashley, she was heartbroken to say the least, Linda noticed the stale atmosphere, and decided to remove herself from the situation, “Tell you what Daisy, shall we go and see if we can find the puddings?” Linda asked, taking Daisy’s hand and leading her over to the bar.
“She’s grown up a lot hasn’t she?” Harry said, gesturing towards Daisy, in an attempt to make some sort of conversation.
“Yeah, she starts nursery next month,” Ashley smiled gently, appreciating Harry’’s desire to keep things civil.
“I mean you’d know that, if you’d been around for the past two years.” Will told him sternly, Ashley hadn’t ever seen Will like that before, maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was something else. He had a vague idea of the fallout between Harry and Ashley, and he knew about their history.
“Will, leave it out.” Ashley replied, trying not to cause a scene, knowing pictures of Harry would end up plastered all over tomorrow’s news.
“Well it’s not like he’s been there to see her grow up is it?” Will chimed in again.
“And I suppose you have?” Harry replied, “I supported Ashley and Daisy as much as I possibly could in her first year.”
“Throwing money at a problem doesn’t make it go away.” Will answered back.
“I hold my hands up, I spent a fair amount of money on Ashley and Daisy, but one thing that never changed, is the love I have for them both, I treated Daisy like she was my own daughter and I would sure as hell do it again.” Ashley was taken aback by Harry’s little speech, she didn’t expect Harry to be so honest about where he went wrong.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but they have me now.” Will told him bluntly.
“You’re right, they do. This was a bad idea,” Harry stood up, taking his wallet from the pocket of his trousers, “Take this for the meal, I’ve cost you enough trouble.”
“We don’t need your money.” Will replied.
“I know you don’t, I know how much Ash earns, but I want to treat my friend, so that’s what I’m doing, have a lovely evening.” Harry placed the wad of cash on the table before turning to leave. Ashley let out a sigh as he left the restaurant, rolling her eyes at Will.
“What?” Will asked.
“You just couldn’t help yourself could you?” Ashley replied.
“Hang on a minute, last thing you told me, you said you never wanted to see the face of that jumped up egotistical walking gucci campaign ever again.”
“Those are your words, not mine.” Ashley told him forcefully.
“I’m not wrong though am I? He used you and when he got bored you were hung out to dry, you’re better off out of it.” Will said sternly, taking a sip of his beer.
It’s more complicated than that Will, and I’m afraid it always will be.”
Ashley and Harry are back. we left them torn apart at the end of ‘Forever?’, and two years on from their fallout we’ll see if they find their way back to each other.
You can expect to see a new chapter of ‘Always Golden’ every Saturday at 6pm GMT!
