— `, ● insecurities .

rkyurim

Yoorim isn’t sure exactly what she expected upon asking for advice, for she hadn’t at all planned to meet Luda in the first place, but she is thoroughly relieved to notice that the debuting idol is happy to help someone like herself—not to say that Yoorim isn’t important, but she admittedly feels very much insignificant in comparison to the other trainees. She is new, not only to the project, but to the life of a trainee as a whole, and as someone who is typically quite confident, Yoorim is strangely insecure.

Her own curved lips grow into a broader grin of her own, grip tightening slightly around the papers that she holds in her hands. If one thing always remains true about Yoorim, it’s her expressive nature—courageous or fearful, she will always show her true emotions. “Thank you!” She says, before she has even come far enough as to express her concerns. She nods a couple of times in response to the latter part, smile lingering for another few moments as she replies. “Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”

“I think this room is available.” Reaching out, Yoorim then begins to move towards the practice room that she initially intended to borrow for the time being, but only for a short while. Soon enough, she is expected to train with the other girls. For now, however, she checks the room, only to smile and wave at Luda as to say that it’s clear. “I was hoping to hear what you did… if, uh… you focused on something in particular? Like, facial expressions, or eye contact?” She knows very well that the details matter.

Luda smiled in return, only making a movement with one of her hands to show that helping was no problem. In retrospect, even if everything had turned out well for her, she felt like she should’ve asked more people for their help or even just opinions on her solo eval picks and ideas. But that wasn’t anything she had to concern herself with anymore, she supposed.

She followed Yoorim into the room, curious to see what the other had planned. If she was honest, she couldn’t really remember what was expected of them that month, or what they should focus on for that month. With the door closed and them able to fully concentrate once more trainees would show up at the building, she hummed in thought.

“I’d pick out some extra practise time for that where I wouldn’t sing or dance and try to find tips on the internet. Watching popular idols fancams was helpful, too, finding out what made them so popular in the first place. It’s easier to do that than actually practise though, so for expressions, I’d try different ones I thought would fit close-up on camera until I was happy with them and then I’d do the same but while going through the song singing and dancing,” she started to explain, “for eye contact, I put little marks on the mirror, to stare at and made sure to switch from one to the next as well. Keeping eye-contact while talking to someone helps as well.”

At least that’s what she thought worked for her. When it came to charisma, she definitely wasn’t the best to ask, but maybe her tips could still work for the other. “For the most part it’s really just a lot of practise, like singing and dancing,” she added after a moment of thought, though that was probably not quite as helpful, but she knew how she’d struggled to keep making faces at a mirror when she could be singing instead.

rkxjiyeon:

@rkxluda

the set of ‘you & live’ really made her feel nostalgic as she was back at school being part of sports team, she felt they were all in some cute aesthetic anime about friends working together to get over challenges and learning about what it is like to fall in love for the first time, the typical shojo manga plot line. jiyeon really loving the whole concept she is debuting with, she is relived it wasn’t something hip-hop or sexy style as that is not her. she is literally typical princess character troupe so it wouldn’t suited her at all so she is really was pleased, and in the typical anime fashion she decided to grab juice boxes not only for herself before luda too since it was break time. some reason juice boxes are big thing in their music video cause plot twist yena locker is filled with so many of them due to her being android which is funny cause yena is always plugged in to her computer so it makes sense.  

“lovely luda~ would you like juice box?” she offered as saw her sitting there on bench probably resting her feet from all the running on the spot we had to do in previous scenes early. the moment she accepted the juice box she sat down next to her to unwrap her own straw piercing the hole on the top sipping on it while looking at her friend wondering how she was feeling right now. “so….what do you think so far? are you enjoying the idol life? is it everything you imagined?” she questioned curiously wanted to check up on her friend resting one hands on her shoulder looking at the other intently waiting to hang on her every word.

It really was an interesting concept they got for their debut music video. A cute high school romance with a twist, a rather unusual twist, she found. But she liked that, who would’ve thought that Yena was a robot, trying to befriend the girls? She’s definitely never read this in one of the many books she’s devoured so far. But then typical shoujo romance wasn’t what she looked for in a book, even if it was nice to switch genres up here and there. And shoujo romance was easy to get invested in, at least for her. For the mv, though, she loved the concept.

“Thank you very much,” Luda said, smiling at her friend. She made quick work of the straw-wrapper and hole, holding the juice box with both of her hands as she took the occasional sip, not wanting to empty it too quickly.

Sitting there, glancing at the scenery in front of them, she really felt lucky to be debuting with so many people that she knew, or even was friends with already, like Jiyeon. She could’ve ended up with 11 girls that had no interest, or even hated her after all.

“Hmm,” the girl hummed, “I’m not sure what I imagined idol life would be like, I only ever really thought about practising and standing onstage… filming and recording. But I’ve never really thought about the less obvious things. I’m really enjoying it, though, even if it’s exhausting, it’s exciting, isn’t it?” She stifled a yawn, as if her body wanted to underline that it was indeed rather exhausting.

“What about you? You seem like you’re always mastering everything with ease! But how are you feeling? Is everything like you expected?”

rkyurim:

— `, ● insecurities .

It has taken some time, but Yoorim has finally managed to learn the general layout of Sphere’s company building, she can now sprint through the corridors to make it to practice in time. It’s only a month ago, though, when she relied heavily on certain people to guide her through what she referred to as a maze. This time, she has come a little earlier than usual, papers in hand as she tries to memorise them, and she practically walks blinded. It’s by her peripheral sight that she notices someone close-by, it’s someone that she isn’t familiar with.

By now, Yoorim has grown accustomed to the other girls of Heartz’ project and their typical movement—this one was different from either of them, so it brings her to look up from her paper that’s filled with lyrics and notes. If the other hasn’t noticed her presence yet, she will when spoken to from a distance. “Hello, sunbae-nim!” Yoorim smiles warmly at the other female, body bending at the hips in a formal bow to greet one of the girls who are already confirmed to debut in Sphere’s upcoming girl group—though, she has practically debuted.

One day, she will debut too and hopefully, it will be in company with Luda and all the other girls. Despite Heartz being an enormous group, perhaps it will be fine, even if she would prefer a smaller group herself. This isn’t the time to be picky, though, because an opportunity like this is rare—no, she isn’t part of the debuting line yet, but she sure hopes that she can land herself a spot. “Are you busy? I was wondering about some advice regrading my solo evaluation, but I can ask someone else if you don’t have the time…” Now, her smile is shy.

— ● a closed starter for @rkxluda .

Luda had made it a habit to go to Sphere early, just like she did when she was still at kt. It’d been a bit difficult to get used to the surroundings, her memory wanting her to take turns, where there was wall in the way and such. She’s always been an early riser though the long hours did make it a little bit more difficult to wake up and get going, but she didn’t want to come in later either. After two years of trainee-dom, she’s found that most interesting things usually happened rather early in the day.

“Good morning,” Luda replied back after a little start and the girl bowed as well. Unless she came with one of the Heartz girls, she wasn’t really used speaking with anyone this early. Though she’d been here for a while, being busy with the project there hadn’t really been much time to get to know anyone from Sphere really, which admittedly made her a bit sad.

Either way though, she recognised the girl as one of the new additions to the project and her usual, soft smile spread on her lips. She made a mental note to ask the other how she was doing, getting used to everything, as the other’s words were out quicker.

Her smile widened, always happy to help, but also happy that she was even asked at all, surely someone else would be better help than her. “I’d love to help!” she replied warmly, “what do you need help with? And should we head somewhere a little more comfortable?”

mina’s september heartz evaluation! (2/2)
performingrollercoasterby seolhwa (chungha)

there are many interpretations to “rollercoaster”, but one thing is for certain is that this song is about love. back when this was first released, mina didn’t pay as much attention to the lyrics as she had to now. but now that she decided to perform this song for her evaluation, she had to think about how she could get herself into the mindset. 

while her main reason for choosing this song was because of how funandbright the song was, compared to what seolhwa would release in the future, she found more reasons to loving the song every time she looked at the lyrics and danced to the song. while she loved the independent nature that the heartz’s group evaluation song had, mina definitely could not deny that she’s a bit of a hopeless romantic. maybe not so much hopeless anymore, considering the fact that she actually has a boyfriend now, but her feelings for the other definitely come through as she performs the song to her coaches. 

mina isn’t public about her relationship. if she was, she wouldn’t even be in this dance studio right now. she’s definitely told chungha about it when the other caught her smiling at her phone while in their shared bedroom. she obviously told daniel because it’s daniel. if she kept any more secrets from him after the secret about being casted, she knows that she’ll feel guilty about it. but besides those few, mina hasn’t told anyone else about them. 

so when she sings this song with him in mind, no one else can know as to why she puts her heart into the performance. the thrill of having butterflies in her stomach feeling similar to that as reaching the top before taking the fall. the experience of these feelings similar to that uncertainty on when the drop comes. and the rush of adrenaline as she confesses her feelings, similar to the feeling of finally reaching the fall. 

and every kiss restates the same four words that make her feel an overload of happiness. “i like you, too” is essentially the moment she realizes that she wants to ride an exciting rollercoaster again. so that she can feel the happiness and butterflies she had felt the first time with every interaction with him. 

but she gets her cool moment in the dance, too. she doesn’t completely portray herself as overfilled with love. “look,” with a wink 

and with that, she ends her evaluation with a bow and a big smile, feeling more satisfied with this performance than the last. 

mina’s september heartz evaluation! (½) 
performingnot shy by itzy (w the rest of the heartz trainees) 

to say mina was nervousabout evaluations would be an understatement. even if she’s practiced with her singing and rapping skills on her own and even for her last solo evaluation, the number of lines that she got with not shy compared to the twolines she got for newswasveryalarming for her. it doesn’t help that she also got center parts as well.

but while she is nervous about it, it made her all the more excited. if anything, it made her want to work harderon improving. the fact that she’s getting more lines could mean that they’re seeing her potential, something that the girl obviouslywanted to keep on showing off her skills to the coaches. if she keeps pushing herself, she’ll probablyget a chance to be on stage with all of the other talented girls apart of this project. and she definitelydid not want to miss out on that.

what gets her attention right off the bat is how she gets a solodance part not even a minute in the song. and how she gets the center rap lines with chungha as well? the fact that she’s sharing choruses with her was basically a blessing.from being a fangirl to eventually being a close friend of hers, mina’s definitely more than excited that it’s a topic of discussion for practice that she can have with her.

the dance is fun. the song is essentially herstyle: confident, fun, and cool. though she doesn’t think it’s realistic of her to debut soon justin time for the girl crush concept, she has hopes of getting a concept similar to this if she wereto have the chance. she can’t get her hopes yet, though. she stillhas to humble herself for the possibility of not being able to debut at all. even if it ishard to notdaydream about it.

regardless of everything, she still decides to practice as much as she can. her words to the lady that told about this project ring loudly in her mind at least once a month since the announcement. “i’ll make sure to prove myself.”

and she certainly will. 

danielxrk​:

✞* sk8r boi  ╯

[ … ]

at least maybe he’ll get the embarrassment out of the way quickly. he’ll try to enjoy even this too, laughing through any awkwardness until they can execute the scene to the standards of the director. he wants to do well. he wants his own music video debut to be successful– not to be a new running joke on the internet like he became on last year’s season of the mgas. more than anything, he wants this to be something yena can be proud of. he doesn’t want to embarrass her, even if she was the one to laugh this time.

one of the producers tells them to go again, and daniel nods, obediently going off to the side to start his walk back up to the counter again. he does the same as he did before– taps on it, looks at yena expectantly –but this time he’s the one to smile, reminded of yena’s laughter only moments prior on top of his own giddiness. this time it’s his turn to say “sorry,” genuinely sheepish

“noooo,” she whines, hanging her head low as she collapses forward onto the table while her traitorous shoulders shake with laughter. “this is just so awkward,” yuzu explains, hiding her face behind her book again. daniel didn’t know she had a boyfriend whom she’d have a much easier time acting this out with but alas- she wasn’t supposed to have one and especially the company wasn’t supposed to know any of that. 

at least her and daniel were comfortable enough to be joking like this. 

“okay… I got myself this time… come at me,” she declares, regaining herself and exhaling a deep breath to stop the onslaught of laughter still wanting to bubble out of her. 

rinse and repeat. this time when he taps onto her book she manages to keep the grin of her lips and the awe in her eyes but as soon as daniel is the one to smile this time, she can’t help but deflate back into her chair once more. “ahhhh daniel-ssi~,”she scolds him jokingly. they really would be here for quite some time, huh?

rkxjiyeon​:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ WORDS OF ADVICE.

after the busy part of the schedule finished towards the end of the month seem like the perfect time to prepare herself for the upcoming debut which means rest was needed because she did not want to injury herself before even promoting with heartz 1/3. she took her time sat down in the practice room humming the tune of their debut single which seem to be stuck in here, it reminded her of berry good single or something along those lines. 

during her break it seem she had visitor, her doppelganger heejin, she observe her body language she seem either nervous or tired not sure on which. the moment the younger opened her mouth asking her for advice, it came quite a shock to her but naturally she was willing to help any way she can. “come, sit down for a moment and tell me what you need ~ I’ll do my best to help you-” she smiled warmly patting down on empty space next to her on the wooden floors of the practice room offering spare water bottle too, just in case she was feeling little bit tired and dehydrated too. it is important to look after each other especially through tough practices.

     heejin can’t deny the happiness she feels at jiyeons welcoming personality, easily making her way to the spot the older woman had patted beside her. she’s unsure if she wants the water bottle held out to her, but in the end, she decides to accept it as well, knowing that even if she doesn’t drink from it right away, it’d be a good thing to have for later. she sets it down beside her as she settles on the floor with jiyeon, getting herself comfortable before she begins to speak. while she isn’t nervous, it still takes her a moment to voice herself, testing the waters gently with her own vulnerability.

     “you’re good with both singing and dancing, right?” heejin assumes she’s right— she’d seen jiyeons music video, seen how much moving around she’d been required to do for the dance while singing, and because of that, heejin only natural thought she was good at both to be able to pull that off. “our group evals for this month are for a song that’s pretty dance heavy. i’m a way better singer than i am a dancer, so i was wondering if you had any tips for dancing and singing at the same time…”

     since they’re first meeting, it’s been easy for heejin to let jiyeon in, albeit still with some apprehension. allowing newly admired acquaintances into her life is something she’s not let herself to too often in the past, prior heartache and hurt closing herself off in favor of protection. it’s been easier for her to let her walls down over this last year, but in the back of her mind, there’s still a want and need to be cautious. jiyeon, however, hasn’t shown her any cruelty—in every way, she’s been kind, and so while the older woman has no obligation to take part in monthly evaluations with the non confirmed girls, heejin still finds herself seeking jiyeon out for a bit of help.

     normally, if she needed advice, she’d go to sua, but with sua now needing to prepare for her solo debut, heejin decides not to take up too much of her current time and ask jiyeon instead. “do you have a second?” jiyeon is easy to find during heejins break, and while she still feels a bit winded from practice, she does her best not to let it show. “i…need a little advice.”

                                                           ———— for you, @rkxjiyeon​♡

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀              ˟  9월  、heartz solo evaluations
        (       eclipse ,   mastery & recording       )        ____________________

the girl of the month is … kim sua.

at first, she thought that they were playing with her.  she was waiting for them to take it back, a cruel joke that they’d laugh about later.  after all, sua’s used to being toyed with in sphere; someone they think they can crush and mold into their vision of a perfect girl for their little war game group.  she thinks they’re playing with her, but then comes the applause.  there isn’t a just kidding added to the end of that sentence.  

they’re really trying to make her a member of heartz.  the first of a new unit, one that’s made up of three.  certainly there’s a lot of expectations riding on her shoulders; sua wants to be the one to call this a joke and tell them no but she keeps her mouth shut.  why does she keep her mouth shut? is it the guilt? the fear of what the other girls will think if she says that she doesn’t want this when they’re trying so hard to be in the position she’s in?  what a lame birthday gift.

she’s not used to staying quiet when she has something to say, but when it comes to sphere, it’s as if sua is growing complacent with tasting blood in her mouth.  

as the month goes on, she continues to hear it: the girl of the month is kim sua.  it rings in her ears when she’s presented with her song, eclipse  -  it’s actually a song that she rather enjoys; she’s surprised that it’s hers to sing and that they’re giving it to her at all.  she’s surprised at the motions of the choreography, so different to those of the girls in heartz 1/3.  she gets her second song, a second solo and it’s another that suits her talents well, so maybe she does belong here.

but does she want to belong here? it’s a question that she doesn’t know the answer to, so for now she goes through the motions and slowly makes herself enjoy the things they’ve given her.  for the girls.  for hyun, who is excited for her.  and for herself.  after such a rough year, sua thinks she at least deserves that much.

the girl of the month is kim sua, and she deserves this eclipse.