♕   ◞   .   ┋   nara’s ⇢spark   !!

     with the beginning a new month comes the beginning of a whole new set of challenges— more evaluations to prepare for, newly added girls to the projects roster, and an onslaught of ever pressing thoughts.

     it’s all been easy to adapt to, parts not unlike her life back in trc, but even so, everything her time within heartz’ debut project entails all leads up to one final goal. debut, the very thing she’s dreamed of for so long, and something that wasn’t within immediate reach back in her old company. for heejin ( really, for all of them ), debuting is her goal, her finish line, the limit she wants to push past in order to forge a new goal to rise up towards, and with a new addition to the groups final line-up revealed, she feels a headache come on.

     it’s not her this time. she’d wanted it to be, knew that it could be ( she’s ready, isn’t she? talented and full of more than she’s already capable of, but it’s not her this time ). heejin has never found herself to be the jealous type, but their’s a bitter taste in her mouth as yet another person who isn’t her is promised a real future, and she’s confused.

     stewing negativity isn’t good, however, and it’s not something she’s ever felt important enough to do before, so despite her own perplexities, she persists strongly as she always has. her time will come, she knows it will, otherwise what would have been the reason for sphere to entertain her being here in the first place. they accepted her, they wanted her, so she knows she’ll get her moment.

     in the meantime, heejin continues to grow and improve, building up her relationship with the other girls as guardedly as she can, working to make sure there’s only her best to show.

     her dancing isn’t as lackluster as it had once been. her vocals have gained a momentum she’s proud of, strong and smooth and full, and once she’s finally stood before staff for her solo evaluation to begin, heejin is nothing but confidence. this is what she loves to do— sing, perform, and now, to an extent, she even loves to dance. it’s evident in the way she moves, in the way she carries herself across the stage as the song goes on, in how she doesn’t hold herself back from notes that burst through the ceiling, and her drive persists even after her final notes fade and she stands in her finishing position.

     heejin is still confused, but she hopes that soon, she won’t be.

rksuas​:

although she doesn’t outwardly show her surprise, the heartache, the lift of her heart, the happiness that heejin has given her just by showing up at her side like this, sua is sure that the younger girl knows.  after all, they’re connected in a way that sua can’t quite explain to others that aren’t related to them.  it’d be hard to convince anyone that heejin is her daughter, one that she’s certain that she must have given birth to in another life.  heejin is hers.

heejin doesn’t need to hear it, because she’s certain that the younger girl can feel it.  especially when sua threads their fingers together and tugs the girl closer, keeping her at her side and showing her off to the other people walking in the halls just as she did once before in another life, in another company, in a way that is both protective and flaunting.  look at my daughter, but if you touch her you die.

“ you should know better.” she chastises flatly, though there isn’t much anger in it.  sphere has been tiresome, more draining than trc ever was in ways that it never could be.  at least trc never disappointed her.  sphere just keeps doing that, over and over.  part of her wishes that heejin just stayed in trc.  part of her wishes that she didn’t come because she wouldn’t face the things that sua is.  “ i’m not sure how it’s something you just forgot to mention.  don’t play with me, i know you laid this plan out this way on purpose.”

but a bigger part of her knows that she needed someone here who understood her.  out of all the people she knows, sua couldn’t think of anyone better than heejin.  “ .. of course.  i thought you’d stay in trc.”

     there’s no fighting the pull on her hand, her own frame seeking warmth she’s inwardly missed for so long, and it’s as if heejins world is righted perfectly once again. she’s lost too much in her life to ever let the older leave on a permanent bases, not if there was something she could do about it, and despite the time apart, there’s nothing that makes her happier than knowing her feelings were recuperated.

     sua is there for her in so many ways, a force of unwavering protection and care as they stick close together, just as they always have ( just as heejin would always love to have ). it may have been a weighty decision, leaving trc to take a chance within a new company, but the time she’d taken to properly weight her options had lead her to believing she made the correct decision— not just for her future, one she can see so clearly, but for the sanctity of her mind and heart.

     heejin has long since accepted the older woman as a mother, her mother, someone to look up to. she firmly believes sua to be someone she knows she’ll always have to lean on if ever in need, and that comfort is something she deeply cherishes.

     “trc’s roster is full of tricksters, i guess being around them so much was a bad influence on me.” heejin would definitely blame even the thought of trying to surprise sua on chanyeol and minho, the two her indulged her mostly dormant silly side the most. “there won’t have to be any more surprises now, though,” her voice is light, happy, a grin equally as content on her lips. “i know i’ll find out soon enough, but what’s it all like— being in this project?“

     she has half the mind to ask about the other girls, but she supposes that, too, is something she’ll come to learn about for herself in time. “trc is fine, but i think…i was starting to feel a bit bored. and how could i pass up a chance like this?”

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ MORE AND MORE.

mxnark​:

it hasn’t quite hit mina how extreme this all was, yet. she was still very much overwhelmed over the fact that she was added into the heartz project not too long after her evaluation with her brother just a week ago. though she’s overwhelmed with the new set of responsibilities and eventhe chance to debut as part of the 12-membered lineup, she’s still very much excited over the fact that she’s gotten this opportunity so early. was it fate? perhaps. she’s not sure.

she’s already friends with some of the heartz members. the other half of them, she either saw from their participance in daniel’s first mga season. it’s so funny how a lot of the girls here were on that show with him. and that included one of her favorite contestants from last season that happenedto be yeji’s roommate.

(the coach mentioned to her that she’d be at a disadvantage due to her lack of experience. it’s not her fault when she’s training with goddessesof the stage. god the intimidation is realwith this one.)

mina finds herself getting carried away with that fact. thankfullynot during practice, otherwise that would not look good on her part. it’s heejin that gets her out of her thoughts and she finds herself flustered just from the little surprise, but she’s good at trying to hide it. act cool, kang mina. you can act cool. “ah, heejin sunbae-nim! yes, it’s been a while,” she says with a polite, but still bright smile. she still knows who she is!! “my first day’s good! i’m really happy about being part of everything. not too nervous. just… the right amount of nervous, i guess.” light laugh added because kang mina is sooofunny.

     though it’s been quiet a while since the two of them were last able to speak like this, heejin is glad the younger girl is still as open and receptive to her company. it’s like nothings changed from the way mina was in the brief moments they had when heejin had been working alongside daniel a year ago.

     heejin sometimes still can’t fathom just how much time has gone by since she’d first signed herself away as a trainee, the mark of her first year having come a little over two weeks ago. now, in being apart of a debut project with a high chance of securing her own spot, it feels like she’s moving at a breakneck pace, but still going painfully slow.

     while making new connections to some extent was always a good idea, the thought of putting herself out there to a crowd of strangers never being something she’s found daunting, heejin won’t deny the relaxation that comes with familiar faces, and while there’s still so much for them to learn about each other, they’ve long since broken through first meetings. all that’s left now is to fall back into place and build even more.

     tilting her head to one side, she sports a faux pout, furrowed brows only giving emphasis to the somewhat sad mood she feels she succeeds in putting out. “you can just call me by my name, or even unnie, really, it’s fine— or do you not like me anymore?” her words are all in jest, her pout breaking into a light grin the longer she goes on. she hopes it doesn’t throw the other off, her somewhat stiff posture a slight giveaway, but heejin doesn’t comment. “feeling nervous can be good sometimes, it can make you want to work harder to do your best, but i’m glad you’re feeling good being here overall. it can be a little overwhelming at first.” she’s heard from others, at least. “i think you’ll be fine!”

。˚∘ i go ;

rkchungha​:

tv? no there was no way. the flashes of memory she got didn’t seem like television. chungha shakes her head. if it were on television then she definitely would have known (right?). “what were you on tv for? i don’t think it’s that….” but maybe it would be a step in the right direction.

even if chungha couldn’t really grasp the memory fully, she can recall certain things. she remembers it being chilly. if it was on television then she wouldn’t have been cold. she would have been snuggled up to meiqi if that were the case. therefore, she couldn’t even think of being chilly. (and admittedly she probably wouldn’t have been focusing much on the television if she was on meiqi for warmth. her girlfriend was distracting.)

chungha narrows her eyes. she can’t pull anything else from the glimpse. “no it’s definitely not television….it was cold.” so she must have seen her in the street or something. “do you busk by any chance? were you performing in the fall?” it was the best guess chungha had at that point. why else would she remember feeling cold?

     the older womans denial causes her brows to raise, chunghas strong insistence doing fairly well to convince heejin that what she’s saying must be true, and that alone is something she finds odd. sure, random encounters while going about your days on the streets can happen, but unless heejins memory was suddenly beginning to fail her, she can’t seem to remember a time where they’d have met that would leave as strong an impression on her as the older woman seemed to recall.

     “it was for last years season of the mgas— i was in the runner up group. that’s actually where i was offered my contract,” she answers, brows beginning to furrow just the tiniest bit. in her mind, her appearance then seemed to be what people recognized her now the most for, but if the show brought no more memories to the surface, they must have met even before then.

     “i’ve never busked before, so that’s not an option…” now she’s starting to get annoyed, not with chungha, but with her own inability to remember where they could’ve possibly met. “maybe during an event that took place in the winter since you said it was cold…or…” it’s then that her mild frown relaxes a bit, head tilting. “have you handed out flyers?”

rksuas​:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ SAFE PLACE.

looking at her now, it’s not hard to tell that heejin is still just a child.  excited over even the smallest of things, but in this case, sua feels warm all over instead of just annoyance.  after all, heejin is excited to be with her, to visit her once more  -  it’s been far too long since they’ve managed to stay together under the same roof, after all.  it was pointless for them to try when their directions never went the same way, but now that heejin is in sphere and back at her side once more, things are a little easier.  they have more time again.

maybe it’s the only thing sua has to be thankful for to sphere.  right now, there’s little left for her to hold onto in the company, but with heejin’s appearance and eunbi’s desire to stay close to her,  aside from hyun asking her to stay … she’s decided that she’ll make her place in sphere.  for now.  

either way, coming home with heejin really feels more like coming home instead of walking into an empty house with nothing but jin and meimei to greet her.  everything feels familiar, and sua feels relief for once when coming home instead of simple, utter exhaustion.  when heejin starts to speak, her head lifts up from her gaze at the floor since she was toeing out of her shoes.  her heart twists  -  maybe it was a bad idea for her to leave trc.  she hadn’t realized heejin would miss her this much, need her this much.  " … you’re home now.“ sua finally says quietly, reaching out to pull heejin close to her.  ” are you hungry? i’ll order us something to eat while you take a bath.“

     heejin welcomes the arms that reach for her, recuperating the action in full, falling into an achingly familiar warmth she’s not been able to have in a long time. there really isn’t anything for her to say that hasn’t already been said before, or shown through her own actions— nothing sua doesn’t already know because she knows just about everything. heejin is incredibly selective, the type to stay guarded and safe, but with sua, there’s not a single thought she doesn’t wear right on her sleeve for the other to see, and while there are still things about sua that heejin can’t read, heejin doesn’t need to be told outright how the older woman feels for her.

     stood securely wrapped in a hug she’ll never grow tired of, heejin knows. now, there’s no need to feel any dread, as if stepping back into the spot she’d had before sua left trc was only temporary, because this wouldn’t be temporary. while sua hadn’t been the deciding factor in wanting to join sphere, it had been one of the biggest pros on her list, and there was no way she’d let this slip between her fingers again now that she was here.

     she doesn’t answer right away, taking a second to think. “i’m a little hungry, i think the last time i ate was for lunch, and i’ve only had a snack between then and now,” she nods her head lightly as she speaks, thankful for having remembered to bring a granola bar with her that morning. “i’ll try not to be long, i don’t need to wash my hair or anything— pajamas are still in the same drawer?”

yuzurk​:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ LOST AND..?

it’s just on their way back from lunch that the two new added additions find time to chat and get to know each other better. it’s like yuzu’s third eye ability manifests itself and spots the confidant card over heejin’s head that makes her approach the younger female and want to get to know her better.

as they walk through the building, confident they’ll find their way back to the practice room by themselves. perhaps they had been a little too confident. yuzu could have sworn they were on track but when heejin points out she isn’t sure where they are, a look around tells yuzu that she too finds their surroundings rather unfamiliar. 

one would think these company buildings were all built the same or something!

“uh…,” she hesitates before an embarrassed chuckle escapes her lips. “did we miss the right door?” peeking into the closest room that was on their path she quickly shut the door again when it was a bunch of trainees doing a warm up that did not look like the group they had been assigned to. “uhm…,”she murmurs before chuckling again, rubbing at the back of her neck. “let’s backtrack a bit n’ peak into some of ‘em rooms?”

     watching the confusion, hesitation, and subsequent embarrassment that blooms on the older girls features the longer she takes to realize that the two of them are, in fact, quiet lost, is pretty amusing. it almost makes heejin want to laugh, at least a little, but that’s the last thing she knows she should be doing right now— it’s not panic that slowly creeps up her spine, but a foreign sense of dreadful anticipation and, just maybe, a little bit of embarrassment on her own part.

     what will their trainers think of them for already potentially messing up their schedule so early into their time in the project? heejin is thankful for the wall clock she spots at the end of the hall, a feeling of relief hitting at the new found knowledge that there was still time before they were due back to their regular training. they still has time to retrace their path.

     reaching out for yuzu’s arm, she points down the hall they’d just come down.

     “i don’t remember how many twists and turns we took, but if we can figure out what floor we’re on, that’s a start…” she trails off, turning slightly to look at the older girl, her shoulders shrugging. really, what else did they have to work on? “…hopefully people don’t get annoyed whenever we peak inside rooms.”

―high hi ༄

rkhsy​:

there were a couple of things that had been swirling around in her head ever since she had gotten chosen as the next girl to debut but also this month when she learned that she would be flying to the other side of the planet ( almost ). she hadn’t gotten much time to greet or talk to the new girls, much to her own disappointment but she knew where her focus had to be. it had to be on preparing for the music video filming and her debut but once she got back to korea and her schedules were done. she felt a little at a loss– she had time on her hands, that was why she had decided to walk around and see if she couldn’t find someone.

hearing that the female had planned on taking a break, made her feel a little relieved– she didn’t want to stop her from practicing, especially not when the stakes were as high as they were. “since you are about to go on a break, would you like to go on a walk with me? maybe? i was planning on grabbing a cup of coffee for myself a little later but if you want to, you could join me?”

it was a longshot, sooyoung didn’t even know if the other female drank coffee or not, “if you don’t drink coffee, they also have tea and other beverages at the cafe across the street,” she smiles, feeling a little awkward about it all but inherently she wanted to get to now the female, even if it was just a little bit better.

not being apart of the group number this month made her feel awkward approaching the trainees she hadn’t talked to before, such as this female but also yena. sooyoung wasn’t one to get close to people quickly but she remembered how quickly yena had gotten comfortable around her ( not that she minded ) – but sooyoung could never do that.

“i don’t think we’ve properly talked before,” she smiles slightly apologetically, “i’m ha sooyoung, i joined the project back in march,” she nods slowly, acknowledging her own words.

     the invitation laid out before her is one she’s not too surprised to have been given— heejin is sure that, just as she has some familiarizing to do when it comes to all of the girls who have been here long before her, sooyoung must feel the same towards the girls who’ve freshly shown up to take part in the project. what better way to do that than during a break? it may not provide as much time as they’d need to really get to know one another so quickly, but it’s something, and they simply had to work with what they had.

     “sure, that sounds nice. i don’t drink coffee too often, but tea sounds good,” she speaks lightly, nodding in the older woman’s direction to solidify her agreement. she turns slightly to look at herself on last time in the practice mirror, smoothing any lasting stray hairs so she looks somewhat decent. “even if it’s not a lot, hopefully it’ll put a little more energy in my system.”

     it’s pretty easy to feel how stilted the air feels— it isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s careful, as if the older woman truly was trying her hardest to make sure they could feel some level of comfort around each other despite still being strangers. as someone who normally takes her time in warming up to others, in getting close enough to others that she trusts them with her more relaxed self, heejin appreciates the effort. there’s no malice to be felt, no underlying negativity, only a cautious, but welcoming, road to friendship.

     so, heejin tries to loosen up a little more, not wanting to seem like she’s not receptive.

     “you’re right, i don’t remember us really having the chance to speak like this before,” she agrees, arms comfortably at her side. “i’m jeon heejin. so, you’ve been in this since it started?” she asks, a brow raised. “it must have been pretty interesting to experience all…this from the beginning.”

     there’s no helping the way heejin rushes into the apartment, light on her feet in a way she’s not felt since very recently. she’s not exactly sure why, but she attributes it to the flood of familiarity coursing through her veins, her mind and body happy to find themselves in a space she knows to be a second home, along with the reality that she’ll be able to come back as often as she’d previously been able to. it makes her excited, the happiest she’s been since she’d switched companies.

     normally, coming home would involve simply taking off her shoes, making sure conan and daniel the dog were good for the night, showering, then getting to bed so she’d be well rested for the next day. maybe a movie or anything relaxing with yeji, but despite the slightly weighed down feeling in her limbs ( her usual sign that she needs sleep ), she does well to fight against it for the time being.

     “i really missed it here.” the words leave her without a thought, turning back to the older woman with a small pout, leg shaking silently, trying to hold back from jumping around. it was pretty late, after all. “i felt like i was missing home.”

                                                           ———— for you, @rksuas ♡

     with new preparations needing to be made for the month as their evaluation expectations are set, yet another stretch of time added to her ever expanding life as a special trainee under this new company, heejin is hopeful. while she’d been shocked at just how quickly a girl equally as new as she was secured a spot within this debut project, heejin feels no jealousy, or anger at being overlooked. no, instead, there’s fire under her feet thanks to the knowledge that, really, any of them could be next, including her.

     that only strengthens her convictions to get familiar with the rest of the girls she’s not yet spent much time with, especially the two newest additions not just to the project, but to sphere itself. sure— in heejin’s eyes, this is all still very much a competition until the very end, but with how fairly she feels things are going, what’s the harm in getting a little close?

     so, she strikes up conversion with mina first once a lull in activity slows, her legs burning nicely from the work they’d done in beginning to learn choreography. the younger seems nice enough, and strikes a familiar chord. heejin wants to see if she remembers her. “hey, mina,” she starts, an easy smile on her lips. “haven’t seen you in a while. how’s your first day going so far?”

                                                            ———— for you, @mxnark♡

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ BACK TO YOU.

rksuas​:

she’d heard that there were new girls joining the project only just recently.  truthfully, sua can’t say that she’s surprised  -  perhaps sphere really does want bloodshed and a war, as if they don’t already know that some of the girls have been bothering one of their most recent additions to the lineup.  for all they claim they watch, clearly their ideal vision of everyone getting along just fine is really chalking up to dust.  her lips turn down into a frown and she can only stand to reason that this is something that they know about and just don’t care to fix.  after all, they never do.

brushing fingers through her hair, she flicks it back over her shoulder as she walks.  how many would it be this time? it’s a question that even sua couldn’t fathom the answer to, because this is a project that would go on for what seems like far too long and the company seems hellbent on hurting as many girls as possible.

yes, this is the music industry.

sua doesn’t expect the sound of someone familiar.  her brow furrows when she hears it, and although usually she flinches away from touch from anyone else, it’s like this time her body reacts on its own as she slows her steps after being tapped to reach her hand back.  it’s because she sounds like heejin.  “ i can take you where you need to go.” sua says blankly without turning around.  she’s certain that it’s just because this girl just reminds her of heejin from the voice alone.  maybe that’s why her body acts on instinct.  “ you’re here for heartz, aren’t you?”  by the time she turns around though, her eyes narrow a little  -  because it is heejin.

part of her wishes the girl would have just stayed in trc, but the other part of her needed this.  “ this is the second time you surprised me.  i thought i told you not to do it again after the first time.”

     their reunion isn’t grandiose, isn’t emotionally charged in a way that’d make tears sport from either of their eyes, but for heejin, it’s everything she could’ve hoped for— no matter how she tries, she’s aware of just how hard it is to phase the older woman, to garner unnecessarily big reactions, and that difficulty is something heejin has missed more than words can express ( she feels that sua has always taken her actions in stride with acceptance, offering guidance and care in return ).

     heejin isn’t surprised by the others correct deduction, because really, why would she be? it’d be normal for the rest of the girls to be told of any new arrivals, so she’d assumed they’d be expecting at least one new presence. “that i am.” she doesn’t bother beating around the bush, her appearance alone proving as much. hand held in suas, her own fingers squeeze gently, an almost sheepish grin replacing the wide smile she wasn’t aware she’d had. “i’m sorry, kids can be so forgetful sometimes— there’s plenty of time for me to make it up to you, though.”

     while she hadn’t been nervous, there’s no denying the overwhelming calm that settles over heejin now that she’s made herself known. entering a new company for the mere chance at debuting would’ve been far more stressful without the presence of someone so dear to her. sua simply being here as well eased concerns she’d been so sure she didn’t have in the first place.

     “…did i really surprise you?”

baby steps.

gahyecnrk​:

despite the anxiety that crept into gahyeon’s chest, she was able to relax once she actually started talking to heejin. maybe because they were both the ‘ new kids,’but gahyeon was sure it was all psychosomatic. it wasn’t like anyone would mind her walking up to them, but still – heejin was far easier to approach. and as soon as the other girl opened her mouth, gahyeon figured that she hadn’t made a bad choice. not that she thought any of the girls would be rude if she approached them, but she was just glad heejin seemed like a nice girl. and that she was willing to help gahyeon out.

“i’m … okay.” gahyeon says, choosing the word carefully. it wasn’t necessarily that gahyeon thought she was bad, because she knows she’s come a long way since the days of the mgas. but gahyeon has still been struggling with any sort of confidence in regards to her voice, especially being that all their evaluations required her to do some sort of singing. it wasn’t her forte, and gahyeon knew she learned better by asking questions and following an example. heejin seemed like a strong vocalist herself, and even though it would’ve been far easier to ask yena for some help  (after all they lived together, gahyeon could make yena hang back before they went home or get help in their apartment )– but this was as good an opportunity as any to get to know someone. “but i could be better. ”she points out with a slight smile. “i’d really appreciate the help … singing’s never really been something i’ve done much of for evaluations so i was kind of surprised … ”she says, trails off because gahyeon doesn’t want to seem ungrateful, she just hadn’t expected to be given vocal lines during a group evaluation. especially not after her audition into the project.

but gahyeon would work with what she was given.

when heejin mentions dancing, gahyeon smiles – “i could definitely do that … a fair trade then, huh ?”gahyeon points out. “ it’s kinda intimidating, with everyone else having been here for months, don’t you think … ?”gahyeon asks, voice quiet. “they’ve all been practicing together for so long … i feel like i have to show off everything i’ve got, since everyone else has already gotten a chance to show their talents. ”gahyeon hums. it feels odd, like hopping into a performance when it’s already halfway done. gahyeon just hopes she can prove she’s enough for the group. “it’s strange, this is … completely different from what i expected of it … although i don’t know if it’s just because i’m so used to royal or i just … really didn’t know what i was getting into … ”she chuckles lightly. “how do you feel about the song and … well everything?”

     heejn isn’t sure it it’s modesty or a legitimate lack of confidence, but she can’t help the way her brows furrow with discontent the longer she hears gahyeon speak on her skill as a vocalist. sure, not everyone was a singer, per say, but even a trainee who lacked considerable vocal strength had to be good to someextent( while not often, rappers or lead dancers were sometimes given parts to sing, even if they weren’t very long ). maybe her feelings are intensified by her own self confidence, even when it came to the qualities she knew she lacked— heein sweats as the thought of rapping crosses her mind…yeah,ok, rapping was it’s own monster— but she wanted to help the other girl improve now even more.

     “even if you think you’re not the best, give yourself some credit— you know what’s lacking and once you make improvements, you’ll give people a run for their money,” she affirms, her head tilting as a sly grin grew on her lips. “you might even make me nervous some day.” mischievousness aside, heejin truly means what she says.

     gahyeon already seemed like a hard worker, someone who was driven to do her best, if her coming for help was anything to go off of. heejin could respect that.

     “i’m trying not to let that get to me, you know?” she starts off, thinking of her words. “you’re right— everyone else here has already had a fair amount of time to show their skill sets off, but honestly, i take it all as a good motivator. if i, or you, or any new girl that might come next, can prove ourselves in a shorter amount of time, with a smaller range of chances to show we’re ready…i think that’s unspoken praise i’d really like to have,” she concludes, nodding along. “that’s why us helping each other will be good, it could help us improve and grow a little faster.”

     “the song is…cute. not my style, but i can work with it. everything else?” she pauses. “i’m not nervous, but there’s a lot of unknowns…”

rkchungha:

the first thing chungha thinks of is that this girl is so familiar.

she can’t tell how or why but the thought never leaves her. it becomes an annoyance to her, nagging at her. it was on the tip of her tongue but her brain couldn’t get a grasp on the thought fully. chungha hates it when memories escape her. they only come in incomplete flashes that do nothing to bring her closer to the answer.

this typically results in chungha staring at her for extended periods of time lost in thought.

eventually chungha opts for just asking rather than driving herself mad with thought. she takes a seat next to the younger girl. her eyes furrowed even as she readies the question. she hoped her brain would make a last minute slam dunk and hit her with the memory. she had no such luck. she might as well ask.

“do i know you from somewhere?”

@rkheejin

     as the hours pass by, it grows harder and harder for heejin to ignore such pointed stares.

     really, any other time, being so eye catching wouldn’t necessarily be something that bothered her to the extent that it does now— she’s been in the public eye many times throughout her life, her time during the mgas subjecting her to the gazes of far more than she can count off the top of her head, so the nerves that come with public displays have long since ceased to make themselves known.

     maybe that’s why the older woman’s gaze puts her on edge so much. normally, she’s able to read others faces pretty well, but chungha is different. all she does is stare, expressions flashing on her face only briefly, far too brief for heejin to fully grasp while trying to participate wholeheartedly during their practices.

     when they finally do speak ( at the shorter womans start ), heejin isn’t sure whether to be grateful the looks have eased a tiny bit or nervous that they’re now this close. “i…don’t know..?” her tone is so unlike her, hesitant as she speaks. “i was on tv around a year ago, so maybe you saw me there..?”

rkchungha:

it’s a little bitter sweet for this being the final month. for her, anyways. after this evaluation she was officially on debut prep. the thought was wild to her. it was official. she was debuting. after so many years it felt surreal.

but a part of her was a little sad to be taken away from the girls like this. right when she finally accepted the idea that she would just stick with them until the end, she actually makes it. how’s that for some cosmic karma? she felt like she had so much more to do with the girls. hang out with them more, go out to eat more, anything. it felt like her time with the girls was numbered until she too was too busy with debut and recording to hang out.

her faze was fixated on heejin once again. a familiar sight, she supposes. they had only recently started to connect. it felt like now there would be no time for that at all. after what should have been way too long of staring at someone, chungha finally said something.

“hey, wanna get dinner after training?”

@rkheejin

     with yet another start to a new month comes the departure of yet another girl within the project, picked to move up and join the growing crew of girls all waiting for their anticipated official group debut. heejin has long since stopped feeling the sting of rejection, the pressing thoughts of when is it going to be my turn far more rare than they’d been during her first months amongst the other potential next girls. no, now all she feels is acceptance and contentment— the peak had been for sua, naturally, but heejin was also surprised she’d felt almost as happy for chungha.

     chungha, who she still didn’t really know despite how they’d been trying to get to know one another when they could. their start had been odd, that was for sure, but heejin no longer felt intimidated whenever she happened to get caught up in staring contests with the older. don’t get her wrong, she was still a bit hesitant, but she wouldn’t deny she still found their relationship funny at times.

     she’s surprised when chungha approaches her, then, the action somewhat unexpected, but she tries not to let her own eyes show too much. it’s still weird, but heejin knows it can’t be weird forever, so when the older voices her offer, heejin takes a moment before answering.

     “uhm, sure. special occasion?”

rksuas·:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ NEEDED.

there’s at least something that she dislikes about being a confirmed member of heartz  -  amongst all the uncertainty and the fury, they’ve basically stripped her away wholly from heejin.  either that, or heejin has just distanced herself from her and that’s not something that sua is really pleased with either.  although the younger girl was more than happy about her confirmation for debut, sua at this point can’t help but wonder what the distancing was about.  there was so much time this month where she was alone, left to rot in a dorm room that was quiet and unfamiliar.  in the end, she ended up at home more than she even slept in the dorm and it was supposed to be her first month in a brand new place.  heejin could have come over to spend just as much time as they could have together, considering the fact that sua supposes things will get harder now that she’ll be filming in the coming weeks.

at least there’s tonight, but sua doesn’t plan on letting this lie.  she’s not the type to swallow her unhappiness  -  not anymore, not with the people that she cares about.  she stands up and she fights, and that’s where sphere was wrong about her.  she may be lying low for now, but there is no part of sua that has lost her venom.  " … fine.  there’s not much to say about it.  it’s about the same level of annoyance that i expected.“  sua sits gracefully next to the place heejin is curled up on the couch, frowning only slightly.  ” there are more important things to talk about, anyway.“  she turns her head to look at heejin, obvious disapproval in her eyes.  ” do you want to explain to me why you barely even talked to me this month?“

     while suas actions don’t give anything away at first, seamless and natural just as heejin has always known them to be, it’s the shift in her tone, immediateandpressing(unrelentinganddemanding, things the younger both admires and occasionally fears on the scarce chance they’re directed her way ), that’s got her feeling warm with embarrassment— already she feels like a child about to be scolded, but, when she thinks about it, maybe that’s not far off from the truth. she’s rarely ever in the hot seat, not one to cause herself the hassle of being in the wrong, but she knows now that, while unintentional, she’s upset someone she loves.

     she doesn’t speak first, merely allowing herself to register the very present disapproval coming from the older woman, and heejin hates it. if it had been coming from anyone else, she knows she wouldn’t find it hitting as hard as it does now, but sua is different. “i…” she trails off, unsure of where to start. “i haven’t been around as much purposefully for any bad reason, i just…” there’s a frown on her lips, a crease in her brows as she finds the words. “i haven’t spent much time with the other debuted girls because they’re so busy, so i thought you might get really busy too…i didn’t want to seem bothersome when this is such a big thing…”

     heejin will admit it— throughout september, she hasn’t spent as much time with sua as she normally would, but her reasons are anything but malicious. from the moment the older woman was picked as the next girl to debut, heejin couldn’t have been any happier, couldn’t have been any more proud, to see sua get something she was so deserving of. heejin admired her for a lot of things, but her ability to preserver and work hard was something heejin thought incredibly highly of, and with that in mind, heejin had thought the older woman might want to double down on her debut preparations.

     so, heejin does her best not to seem like a bother, not wanting to take up too much time during something where suas attention was required. now that it’s the end of the month, heejin feels a bit lighter, happy to be at suas apartment after being away for a bit. she’s curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, head resting on the back cushion as she looked at sua. “what have debut preparations been like?”

                                                          ———— for you, @rksuas​ ♡

yuzurk​:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ LOST AND..?

with heejin behind her yuzu feels a little more brave. she’s not that much older but the difference is enough to make her feel responsible. “hmmm I got gahyeon’s number but I ain’t think she’s all that helpful- considerin’ we’re both from royal,” yuzu concludes with a chuckle. she takes a look at her phone, wondering who else she could contact but sua sounded like the best call actually. “maybe would be better- oh wait I think it was here!”

she moves to the mentioned room, this one without a window to peek through and opens the door just a little only for confused, random faces to stare back at her. she startles back and nods her head in apology before closing the door again, lips pulling into a grimace as she puts her palms flat onto the door after closing it. “ops.”

she waits until there is music blasting from the other side again before she allows herself to snort out a tiny laugh, feeling along the wall to move onto another room instead. “so… about callin’ sua…”

     heejin doesn’t say anything at first as she watches the older girl inspect another room, yuzu’s clear amusement at accidently interrupting a different groups work infectious, and heejin can’t help the small laugh she lets out alongside the older. “finding the right room would be so much easier if all the doors had little windows for us to peak inside with— why didn’t the people who made this building just do that, it’d be so much more convenient for times like this.” heejin huffs lightly, hands resting on her hips lightly.

     at yuzu’s suggestion, heejin begins going through her sweat pants pockets for her phone, pulling it out easily before moving to unlock it. “maybe we should’ve called her from the start, she’s been here for a long time now, she probably knows the building well enough to either find us herself or tell us how to get back perfectly,” she voices, going through her contacts. “hopefully she’s not doing something right now.”

rkxjiyeon​:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ WORDS OF ADVICE.

after the busy part of the schedule finished towards the end of the month seem like the perfect time to prepare herself for the upcoming debut which means rest was needed because she did not want to injury herself before even promoting with heartz 1/3. she took her time sat down in the practice room humming the tune of their debut single which seem to be stuck in here, it reminded her of berry good single or something along those lines. 

during her break it seem she had visitor, her doppelganger heejin, she observe her body language she seem either nervous or tired not sure on which. the moment the younger opened her mouth asking her for advice, it came quite a shock to her but naturally she was willing to help any way she can. “come, sit down for a moment and tell me what you need ~ I’ll do my best to help you-” she smiled warmly patting down on empty space next to her on the wooden floors of the practice room offering spare water bottle too, just in case she was feeling little bit tired and dehydrated too. it is important to look after each other especially through tough practices.

     heejin can’t deny the happiness she feels at jiyeons welcoming personality, easily making her way to the spot the older woman had patted beside her. she’s unsure if she wants the water bottle held out to her, but in the end, she decides to accept it as well, knowing that even if she doesn’t drink from it right away, it’d be a good thing to have for later. she sets it down beside her as she settles on the floor with jiyeon, getting herself comfortable before she begins to speak. while she isn’t nervous, it still takes her a moment to voice herself, testing the waters gently with her own vulnerability.

     “you’re good with both singing and dancing, right?” heejin assumes she’s right— she’d seen jiyeons music video, seen how much moving around she’d been required to do for the dance while singing, and because of that, heejin only natural thought she was good at both to be able to pull that off. “our group evals for this month are for a song that’s pretty dance heavy. i’m a way better singer than i am a dancer, so i was wondering if you had any tips for dancing and singing at the same time…”

     since they’re first meeting, it’s been easy for heejin to let jiyeon in, albeit still with some apprehension. allowing newly admired acquaintances into her life is something she’s not let herself to too often in the past, prior heartache and hurt closing herself off in favor of protection. it’s been easier for her to let her walls down over this last year, but in the back of her mind, there’s still a want and need to be cautious. jiyeon, however, hasn’t shown her any cruelty—in every way, she’s been kind, and so while the older woman has no obligation to take part in monthly evaluations with the non confirmed girls, heejin still finds herself seeking jiyeon out for a bit of help.

     normally, if she needed advice, she’d go to sua, but with sua now needing to prepare for her solo debut, heejin decides not to take up too much of her current time and ask jiyeon instead. “do you have a second?” jiyeon is easy to find during heejins break, and while she still feels a bit winded from practice, she does her best not to let it show. “i…need a little advice.”

                                                           ———— for you, @rkxjiyeon​♡

rkxjiyeon​:

doppelganger

maybe it is true about companies having certain look they want in their companies since their similar features, however she got a feeling heejin is much more talented than herself since younger ones always have so much energy too. if they did check their family tree, it is possible they got some long lost ancestor who looks like them like in those movies too. either way, it was truly fascinating to meet someone who look so alike hopefully their personalities aren’t too similar because that would be beyond creepy for both parties she reckoned.

 “perfect! let’s get some food then!” she suggested leading them towards the buffet table, grabbing herself paper plate while making casual conversation, “so I’m guessing your dream is to be idol like most trainees here? well for starters since that is always great platform to launch from to get yourself out there….let me see…you look like another dancer possibly?? you’re pretty, you got great posture too…tell me wrong…it is just assumption~” she is most likely wrong but it is best to stab in the dark to see what her talents lie and what she is most passionate about too.

     prior to all of this, heejin hadn’t really been sure what to think of jiyeon— as someone much younger, it was only natural for her to gravitate more towards the other girls closer in age ( along with sua, of course ) as it’d be assumed they’d have an easier time getting along. as a result, heejin hadn’t had a proper chance to really speak with the older woman and learn about her personality. maybe that’s why she’s glad for the chance now. for the short amount of time they’ve now spend talking, it’s easy for her to tell that the other is welcoming enough and thoughtful. heejin appreciates that.

     heejin allows herself to be lead to the buffet table, not finding a need to resist when she’s already agreed. “i guess that’s a correct guess, but only partially,” she responds, tilting her head. “a singer is what i’ve always wanted to be, and becoming an idol seemed like one of the faster ways to get there.” heejin knows there were a number of different possibilities she could’ve taken to reach her goal, but she was never one to turn down a good opportunity, especially when she’d earned it. “that, however, is where you’re wrong— i specialize in vocals. my dancing…could always use some improvement.”

mxnark​:

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ MORE AND MORE.

she’d be lying if she said she was completely comfortable with the whole decision of letting her become part of the project. while she will admit being in sphere was a great opportunity, let alone being in the projectso soon, she couldn’t help but feel as if it was a little too overwhelming for her. especially because just weeks before she got signed, she was just a normal girl with a normal job and life. 

and though she was willing to get herself to know more faces in hopes of feeling more comfortable and familiarizing herself with everyone, she stillfound herself going to those familiar faces the most. chungha lived with mina and yoorim was basically going through the same trainee experience she was. gahyeon and yuzu were also given to know her more, but even thenthey were busy with royal while she was still bored with how life was going with her. 

so getting to see a familiar face, even if they didn’t get as many opportunities to talk as much, was already relieving enough for her. and the fact that thejeon heejin approached her while also recognizing her was already enough to make mina happy. yes, she knew heejin’s roommate as well as the fact that her brother worked with her before. but it was still a big deal to her! she’s inclined to feel blessed. 

however, she will note that it was boldof her to assume that mina could ever dislike her. “no! oh my god, never,” she says immediately, ignoring the fact that she used the lord’s name in vain (thanks mom for enforcing that on her). but when the other gives her a smile, it’s more of assurance that she’s not doing anything bad. she sighs in relief and returns the smile. “i’ll call you unnie, then. if that’s okay, i mean,” she answers, her doubt still showing through her answer, but she thinks it’s not much of a big deal for the both of them. “it is a little overwhelming, considering i just signed not too long ago. but i’m trying my best with everything!” she then gives a thumbs up. “i’m really glad to see you, though! it’s nice seeing more familiar faces.”

     the younger girls reaction is one that pulls an amused laugh out of her, heejins lips curling upwards into an almost delighted smile, and she hopes mina doesn’t take her teasing actions to heart too much. judging by both her words and actions, however, heejin is sure everything is fine. from what she remembered, the younger girl knew how to play well, was honest in her own right, and, thankfully, wasn’t someone who held herself back ( at least, heejin felt like she didn’t hold herself back ).

     while heejin tended to be fairly judgmental of people, especially when it came to first meetings, her first few encounters with mina had gone down a little differently, mainly because the two had a common denominator to help ease them into a more friendly relationship. daniel was nice, someone heejin had come to trust and appreciate pretty quickly from how much time they’d needed to spend together, so by association, mina was easy to approach. of course, she’d had her own reservations, but there wasn’t a need to be too distant or give the cold shoulder while taking in her personality.

     so, she’s happy the two of them are here together now. while they both needed to keep their guards up as they trained to try and secure their own spots within the project, there was still ample time to talk to one another on their own accords. this was a good opportunity, and heejin wouldn’t let it slip by just yet.

     “i’m glad, then, i would’ve been hurt if you’d forgotten about me so quickly.” and really, at the very least, being forgotten would’ve stung at least a little bit. call her conceited, or at the very least overly confident, but heejin felt she wasn’t the type of person people could simply disregard. heejin lets herself mellow out a bit, nodding along as the younger girl speaks. “i’m sure it all feels like a lot— trying to adjust to trainee life, only to suddenly be in a debut project.” she can only imagine how much of a whirlwind that must be, and heejin is glad she’d had the time she did to simply be a trainee first before being trained specifically with debut in mind. “you haven’t lost your head yet, so that’s a good sign. and if you ever feel like you are, you can come to me or any of the others girls.”