#rkchungha
[ message to hottie ]
➤ it sucks that we’re so busy today of all days
➤ but i do want to take the time out to talk about what happened a year ago today
➤ a year ago, around 8pm, this really pretty girl came home after over a month of ghosting me. and i was really mad and hurt over it but i was so proud of what she did
➤ but the minute i saw her again, all i could think about was how much she meant to me and how badly i wanted her in my arms again
➤ super corny or whatever but i think that really cemented for me that i can never be so far apart from you physically and communicatively without you understanding how i feel about you
➤ that’s why a year ago, at around 8pm, i told you i was in love with you with your boob in my mouth
➤ iconic if you ask me
➤ but i’ve never had a single regret or a moment of hesitation in the 365 days since
➤ and because we cannot see each other all the time and i know i can’t always hold you through the bad times like i so desperately want to
➤ i present to you a list you can read whenever you need a pick me up!
➤ in lieu of me taking you out to dinner next weekend (no arguments)
➤ [ img. attach 1 ] [ img. attach 2 ]
[ txt mssg → chuu~ngha ]
✉️️ → CHUNGHA
✉️️ → FIRST OF ALL WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY IM LEARNING A NEW SONG THAT I REALLY DONT LIKE AND I ALREADY CRYING BUT YOU MAKE ME CRY GOOD TEARS SO ITS OKAY
✉️️ → SECOND OF ALL
✉️️ → WHY ARE YOU BRINGING UP THE BOOB IN THE MOUTH OH MY GOD?!?!?!?@??!/?!?
✉️️ → im blushing help i think my members think im watching porn or something
✉️️ → i feel bad i dont have like a list or anything for you but i did buy you a present that ill give to you next weekend
✉️️ → or tonight if you want to…. …. ………. visit
✉️️ → but oNLY IF YOU HAVE TIME
✉️️ → in all seriousness
✉️️ → wait
✉️️ → if i have something cheesy to say i want to say it in person not over text
✉️️ → im a grown woman™️ now
✉️️ → all ill say for now until i see you in person is that
✉️️ → im grateful for you and everything you do and i love you so much more than you could imagine
four hours later
✉️️ → I CANT STOP REREADING THIS LIST
✉️️ → AM I ACTUALLY CLINGY WHEN I SLEEP??????????
✉️️ → CHUNGHA WHY DIDNT U TELL ME THAT BEFORE??????!!!!
[ message to hottie]
➤ uh no not really she collapsed and i helped her in bed but she never opened up
➤ tbh most of the kt girls didnt but are we surprised lmao
➤ so no not friends w her i just know her u kno
➤ sharing a bed so you have more space for clothes xoxox
➤ i hate that we thought of the same thing
➤ jk i love that we did
➤ i’m all for going green if i can take showers with you
➤ something about seeing you naked is out of this world
➤ FOR A CORN CHIP?
➤ yeah we were miss those times
➤ you’re so cute and corny
➤ you’re my favorite ❤️
[ txt mssg → chuu~ngha ]
✉️️ → oh
✉️️ → yeah that sounds like her
✉️️ → i dont know about the rest of the girls in kt
✉️️ → sometimes i think about storming that building and yelling at everyone for ur sake
✉️️ → but i think thats just how juhee is so u can at least not take that too personally
✉️️ → i mean like im in a group with this girl and the amount of things about her that i could tell u……..
✉️️ → i could count them all on one hand
✉️️ → so yeah i know
✉️️ → see even when we’re apart we’re still on the same wavelength
✉️️ → OMG CHUNGHA ARE U TRYING TO SEXT ME RN?!?!?!?
✉️️ → haha what r u wearing rn
✉️️ → maybe even half a corn chip
✉️️ → ur price would be a million corn chips
✉️️ → cute? take it back
✉️️ → im kidding….. ur the only one allowed to call me cute
✉️️ → you’re my favourite too
✉️️ → my ride or die
✉️️ → my everything
✉️️ →
[ message to hottie]
➤ i bet your roommate doesn’t know how to hold you the right way so you’re comfy and not laying on your arm!!!
➤ actually wait you’re not cuddling with your roommate right
➤ i mean duh im not your friend but nova doesn’t need to know that
➤ juhee? JUHEE????
➤ LITTLE TINY WILL HAVE A PANIC ATTACK JUHEE?????
➤ IN N O V A ????
➤ IN AND*ROMA??
➤ holy FUCK i literally joined kt with that tiny ball of stress
➤ wow fuck i joined the same time as her and she’s debuting i’m going to fucking yeet myself i could have been your rapper
➤ wait what did u realise pls share with the class
➤ ummmmmmmmmm ur the needy one u just said you’d kick out juhee for the night
➤ like i mean yes do it because i need to kiss you all over but liiiiiiiiiike
➤ now i’m really sad because wow if i wasnt so shit i coulda been ur roommate chungha meiqi in another universe are roommates rn i envy them
[ txt mssg → chuu~ngha ]
✉️️ → i would never cuddle with her pls
✉️️ → yeah…………??????? that juhee
✉️️ → u know juhee?
✉️️ → i mean like yeah u just said u do but
✉️️ → are u friends with her??????
✉️️ → ngl i think i’d rather have u as our rapper
✉️️ → hehe imagine the dorms if u lived here
✉️️ → shared showers to save the envirigshlfg
✉️️ → only need one bed in the room
✉️️ → more space for my clothes
✉️️ → oh i forgot sorry class
✉️️ → ok im not saying im NOT needy but
✉️️ → i would kick out juhee for a corn chip
✉️️ → i dont even know what a corn chip is but id do it
✉️️ → chungha and meiqi in this universe were also once roommates u know
✉️️ → envy urself
✉️️ → bc what if that meiqi and chungha dont like each other?????
✉️️ → what if that meiqi and chungha are like this meiqi and juhee
✉️️ → noooooooooooo
✉️️ → this universe is my favourite
[ message to hottie]
➤ BABE
➤ BABE? ? ? ?
➤ EMERGENCY ? ? ? ?
➤ I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE JUYEON BUT THEN IT WASNT
➤ THEY SAID MY NAME FUCK
➤ I’M GOING TO BE AN IDOL ? ?? ? HOLY FUCK
[ txt mssg → chuu~ngha ]
✉️️ → WHAT
✉️️ → WHAT
✉️️ → EMER
✉️️ → ARE YOU O
✉️️ → YOURE WHAT
✉️️ → YOURE HEARTZ??!??!?!??!
✉️️ → YOURE KIM CHUNGHA OF HEARTZ?!?!?!?!??
✉️️ → CONGRATULATIONS OMG MY HEART IS RACING RN WHAT THE HELL
✉️️ → IM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY
✉️️ → CALL ME WHEN U CAN OMG
✉️️ → AND WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE
✉️️ → MY GIRLFRIEND’S GOING TO BE AN IDOL
✉️️ → [ voice message: meiqi screaming, then choking on her own scream, followed by a distant voice yelling at her to stop being so loud ]
the manager tells meiqi that it would be best to stay at the company. even if there are no official schedules to tend to, he advises that she practice for their impending comeback, warns that it’s soon and she still has things to polish. it’s completely unsolicited advice, of course, because meiqi had already made up her mind regarding her attendance when she’d first heard of samsung’s summer party.
there are three reasons for this. one, she’s tired of practicing that same stupid song over and over again, and they haven’t even begun to promote it yet. she just needs a break, something to relieve all the stress and frustration of this horrible concept being forced onto her. two, she kind of wants to make life hard for the manager, because seeing him exasperated is more amusing than it probably should be. and three, her girlfriend will be there, too. no person in their right mind would sacrifice a day of fun and relaxation with the person they love most in the world. neither would meiqi.
she arrives later than she said she would, expensive sunglasses perched atop her head, partly because being fashionably late is in her blood (and that’s definitely the excuse she’ll give if someone asks); mostly because she couldn’t decide what to wear to impress chungha. they don’t see each other as often as meiqi likes, so every time they do get an opportunity as rare as this, she doesn’t want to waste it by showing up in just anything (though she knows chungha wouldn’t mind).
meiqi scans the rooftop for her girlfriend, squinting beneath the sunlight. there are lots of familiar faces from when she was still a trainee, and there are even more new faces that she’s never seen in her life.
bingo! there she is. she’s moving without another thought, breezing right past the separate section reserved for idols (she’ll greet everyone there later) and immediately running up to chungha, whose back is turned towards her. her arms coil around her girlfriend’s waist, meiqi’s cheek pressed firm against chungha’s back. “surprise! did i take too long? did you miss me?”
。˚∘ glitz ;
“i mean we all start somewhere!” she offered optimistically. not everyone came out of training ready to be on video. some struggled with lip syncing, some looked awkward in final cuts of the video. that’s to be expected. it was nothing to be worried about. but chungha understands wanting to do well and being frustrated when it doesn’t come out how you envision it. “i think you did great. i think you’re a natural for the camera!”
as if to prove her point, chungha holds up her thumb and index fingers to form a square. “the camera would love you luda~ and everyone who watches will fall in love too. it’s fate!” she chuckles. though chungha always figured actual soloists would be lonely on set doing something like that, the heartz girls wouldn’t truly be alone. they have the girls and other filming to do together. it must be tiring….but incredibly fun.
“honestly if sphere manages to send everyone all over the world….wow….they must have a lot of faith in us.” usually it was the opposite: newer groups weren’t invested like that. sphere was dropping bank to create their videos whether people realised it or not. but chungha figures they had the funds for it. convex was a successful group after all. “who knows, maybe that’s the concept of heartz: they’re world travellers!”
ah, if only that were guaranteed. “i hope so. i’m not sure what the last subunit’s concept is going to be but i feel like if i don’t get into the girl crush unit i’m boned.” although chungha says this with a chuckle, she doesn’t find it to be a laughing matter. it’s more true than she lets on. although of course there’s always a chance for her to (somehow) suit the last subunit concept, she was really banking on the next subunit. “i wonder how heartz will be as a group if everyone has such different visuals and concepts. how would fans of subunits be able to be fans of the group too?”
“That’s true,” she answered, “and thank you very much!” Even if the girl couldn’t quite see herself that way, compliments were nice and she didn’t take Chungha as someone who just said whatever.
Luda couldn’t help chuckling and blushing and even though her mood had been good originally, it was lifted up even more now. She still didn’t know the other too well, but definitely enjoyed spending time with her. The topics may not all be happy, but he didn’t mind.
Forever bad at dealing with compliments, she rather focused on the other’s next words, nodding along, wondering if they’d really send everyone, because if so, she’d love to go and see the world. It would be a great experience, but also good for bonding. There were many countries left, after all.
She nodded, very much glad that Sphere had seen her as debut-ready and concept-fitting so early on. If not pure, she wasn’t sure if she’d suited the next concepts, whatever the third would be. The way time passed by so quickly, they’d be halfway through the solos, before they’d know, though. “I’m hoping,” she murmured, even if her hopes didn’t influence anything in the end. “I’m curious, though, we’ve got pure, next comes girl crush, what could it be? I doubt it’d be anything more mature or sexy…”
Luda hummed in agreement, “I’ve been wondering that, too, if someone becomes a fan through the next subunit and the group debut will be super cute, or the opposite… I wonder what Sphere’s got planned to avoid that.”
。˚∘ glitz ;
chungha nods. to her understanding, kt rookies wasn’t really a debut thing. mostly just a special project for trainees closest to debut, perhaps? she’s still not sure because it was clear that sometimes even the most senior trainees weren’t a kt rookie when she was there. she doesn’t bother to question it though.
it must have been surreal for luda to experience though. “is it hard to do a lot of acting?” based off minhee’s stuff, it seems like a lot of acting. like they’re establishing something for all of them. it must be long shooting hours. but it sure must be fun! “do you know where you’re travelling to?”
luda was probably right. chungha (now) thinks that sphere has a bit of a plan when it comes to the girls. so rather than it be the best debuting first, it might be the ones who suit the concepts being chosen first. “yeah, especially because we were told that they’re expecting cute and pure concepts….that’s definitely not me!” chungha was a little….rough around the edges. it wasn’t a bad thing but it meant she was definitely not getting chosen this time around.
“uh….” were they? maybe they did still seem that way. chungha waved her hand to signify so-so. “kind of but not really? it definitely seems like it’s expecting more. but as of right now i think it’s still on the more innocent sound. though the dance we have is a little more impressive.” it requires more of them. “the vocals aren’t so cutesy though. so it’s a little more bearable.”
“It was really hard, especially with barely any experience, but it could’ve been worse, I think, I just had to look calm, shy, and maybe a little bit longing,” she chuckled. But she really was glad that she didn’t get anything more complicated. She really had filmed a lot though, probably best seen in the almost 10 minute long film version. She still wasn’t quite sure whether filming that much was normal, or whether they’d specifically wanted to make that version.
“Not yet, but it would be nice if we could all go together and see different parts of the world,” she smiled, though she was almost sure that they’d take only those necessary, after all plane tickets weren’t cheap. “Especially if they continue this for all subunits,” she said, though it would be interesting too, if the other units got their own, special thing.
“Maybe you’ll get a spot in the next unit, since it seems like they’re aiming for girl crush,” she wondered. I would be much easier to see who’d fit if they already knew the songs they would be chosen for. Though that would require all songs to have been chosen already and Sphere could still be choosing for the last unit.
Luda nodded to show her understanding, curious if that would change soon.
。˚∘ it ends how it begins ;
it seemed like it was happening too fast. she didn’t have that long to make arrangements. mina had nowhere to go. she was most worried about her. god and what was she going to do with meiqi’s extra things? probably have to put anything that can’t go to the dorm with her grandmother and just not explain whose is what. for as long as she’s been waiting for the time to come, she’s utterly unprepared for it to actually happen.
“i think i could keep giving you money for rent so you wouldn’t struggle.” it was the only thing chungha could think of. what else could she do? on the flip side, she could withhold the information about her upcoming debut. that way she could still receive money and mina would have a place to stay.
but now, that wouldn’t work. her grandmother would surely tell them after she drops off her extra things. she was at a loss with what to do. she couldn’t leave mina practically homeless. where would she go? chungha rubbed her eyes.
“i can’t believe i would be bummed out by debut because i’m too worried about you,” she jokes with a smile, pulling the younger in for a hug. “will you be okay without me?”
even if mina personally disliked the song that they were to perform today, she tells herself to suck it up so that she can at least tryto enjoy the evaluation. if not for herself, at least for the fact that this would be her last group evaluation with the other.
she was obviously excited when the announcement came out that the girl was set to debut. she was probably one of the only girls that immediately gave chungha a big hug after the monthly announcements were over. but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a littleupset by what would follow after this announcement.
and that’s the fact that from this point on, mina would be on her own.
as she listens to the older, she couldn’t help but pout. “noo… don’t be bummed out about debuting! you worked so hard for this!” she says before she’s pulled into a hug. she hugs the other back, making it a little tighter than she usually would because she wants to comfortthe girl. “i’m going to be fine! i promise you,” she answers her with a smile. a part of her doesn’t even know if she’s 100% sure about that, but she doesn’t want to think about that for now. “unnie, don’t stress over me especiallyafter the good news! you don’t deserve that!”
shock attack
chungha nodded. the respect was on her face. “you know for all the shit i pull with your brother not even i managed to do that. good job,” she says, rising her hand to high-five the younger for her efforts. “ah yes the godly child that he is.” chungha jokes. but she’s quick to add, “he’s probably so happy to have you here.” thinking to the rough months both she and daniel had some time ago affirmed that even if he denied it, chungha knew he was glad to have his sister in the same company as he. he’s lonely, chungha wants to say but she knows not to.
she and daniel were alike in that respect.
ah there goes the mention again of debut and a good opportunity. she has been in better spirits since her talk with both daniel and juyeon but she still can’t shake the sour chord the twanged when the heartz project was ever mentioned. “yeah they’re really cool.” and they were. the videos were divine and as chungha has seen online, there seems to be a connection between the girls and their music. how incredibly clever and innovative. chungha wonders if she’ll ever be amongst them but she doesn’t say this to mina. she can’t let it become something of doubt. “thank you!”
she manages a smile and purposely doesn’t say anything about what her reaction would be like if she didn’t debut. (she’d be pissed) but her stomach is growling as if on cue for something to eat. “it’s okay, really!” she says with a soft smile. though the truth is her heart ached that she wasn’t going to spend any time with mina. she wanted to be with her, watch her learn the ropes. she wants to see her reaction to the gym facilities or how she fairs in the showers. chungha wants to be next to her every step of the way. remembering that she wouldn’t be there has her bringing mina back into her embrace, laughing as she waddles them over towards the line. “i sit in the middle because i like being the centre of attention,” chungha jokes. it wouldn’t be long until daniel joined them as well.
“promise me you’ll survive your first day. i feel so bad for leaving you on your own like this.”
her giggling is expected when chungha raises her hand for mina to high-five, obviously returning it for her accomplishment. “it’s the perk of being his little sister,” she responds to him with a confident smile. “even ifi didn’t really expect that from him either. i just know for surethat i have impact.”when chungha adds onto her statement, mentioning her brother being happy that she was here, she nods her head. “he should be! i’m amazing~” she says confidently. she laughs off her joke for the time being, nodding her head and smiling sincerely for what she says next. “honestly? i’m happy to be here with him, too.” and she meant it, even if it didfeel weird to admit to the other.
if she had to be honest, she doesn’t think there was really any othercompany she wanted to be apart of besides sphere. sure, she liked all the artists from samsung’s four other companies. she definitelywouldn’t mind being in a company as intense as trc or as popular as kt. hell, she probably would’ve been happy being with yuzu and yoojung at royal. but after seeing bothdaniel and chungha on the mgas andget casted by sphere (even if it was years later), she could only hope to be in those companies with them. being casted by one of samsung’s companies, let alone by sphere, was an honor. but being casted into a company with trainees that she considered practically considered inspirations?ablessing.
when the other pulls her into a hug as they walk to the line has her a littlesurprised, but she definitely wanted to return the hug. as the both of them waddle into the line, she laughs at the other’s comment. “good.so do i,” she responds with a laugh. “we can be the center of attention together while daniel just sits and eats his food. or gets embarrassed by us… though, that might come later. maybe we’ll be more embarassing during lunchtime.”
the next comment warms her heart and she feels herself pout from how wholesomeit sounds. “of course! i promise you i’ll survive! you don’t need to worry about me, unnie.” she gives her a thumbs up. “it’s not like i’m going to cause a ruckus later on… but let’s grab a plate so i can guarantee you i won’t do something stupid later on.”
mina’s september heartz evaluation! (½)
performingnot shy by itzy (w the rest of the heartz trainees)
to say mina was nervousabout evaluations would be an understatement. even if she’s practiced with her singing and rapping skills on her own and even for her last solo evaluation, the number of lines that she got with not shy compared to the twolines she got for newswasveryalarming for her. it doesn’t help that she also got center parts as well.
but while she is nervous about it, it made her all the more excited. if anything, it made her want to work harderon improving. the fact that she’s getting more lines could mean that they’re seeing her potential, something that the girl obviouslywanted to keep on showing off her skills to the coaches. if she keeps pushing herself, she’ll probablyget a chance to be on stage with all of the other talented girls apart of this project. and she definitelydid not want to miss out on that.
what gets her attention right off the bat is how she gets a solodance part not even a minute in the song. and how she gets the center rap lines with chungha as well? the fact that she’s sharing choruses with her was basically a blessing.from being a fangirl to eventually being a close friend of hers, mina’s definitely more than excited that it’s a topic of discussion for practice that she can have with her.
the dance is fun. the song is essentially herstyle: confident, fun, and cool. though she doesn’t think it’s realistic of her to debut soon justin time for the girl crush concept, she has hopes of getting a concept similar to this if she wereto have the chance. she can’t get her hopes yet, though. she stillhas to humble herself for the possibility of not being able to debut at all. even if it ishard to notdaydream about it.
regardless of everything, she still decides to practice as much as she can. her words to the lady that told about this project ring loudly in her mind at least once a month since the announcement. “i’ll make sure to prove myself.”
and she certainly will.
make this place home
chungha knew one response to when mina confessed to needing a home soon. she had grown quite fond of the younger in the time they’ve known one another. mina was like the little sister chungha never got to have. (admittedly, chungha is okay with being an only child. having a sibling would mean less funding from her parents while she was in korea pursuing her dreams.) asking mina to move in was a no brainer.
if she mentioned it to her parents, she knew they would have no trouble shelling out a couple extra hundred dollars to get the girls into a two bedroom in the same complex but with heartz and the uncertainty of who was being chosen next, chungha figured they could stick it out in a single bedroom for a bit. mina seemed to have no issue with cuddling.
this did mean re-organising on chungha’s part. she had to make room for the additional person in the entire apartment. she invested in a few more smaller shelved dressers and a closet organiser so mina would have space for her things too. it was a big move for mina and chungha wanted to be as supportive as possible. she was the older one and the one with more experience in that regard. she wanted mina to feel comfortable. having a roommate again could be fun.
“jajangmyun is really hearty,” chungha replies with a smile. she was currently folding some of her own clothes in the living room. her theory was that if she folded like her grandmother taught her to then maybe her clothes would take a lot less space in the room. not to mention that some are a little outdated and were deserving of being donated. “you might pass out with a full tummy,” she jokes, reaching out to poke mina. it was a good idea and they had worked themselves out by bringing mina’s boxes in. so chungha got up to prepare the food.
“how’re you feeling though?” she asks as she navigates the kitchen with ease. the kitchen was possibly the only area without anything being changed to it. “now that you’re technically officially moved in. this is your home now. nervous?”
after being added into the heartz project, it only made sense for mina to come to this decision. sure, she’s thoughton it for a while now. there were many times in which she asked herself if she could stillhold out a little longer living with her family, considering they didn’t really kick her out yet. but considering how the environment in that house grew worse the longer she lived there (even more so after being given the contract), she thought it’d be best for herto at least get out of there.
and yes, though the single bedroom apartment is a big change for her, she’s at least glad that she’ll feel much better living here than she did at her mom’s. she not only gained an older sister figure (who could act like that more often now that they’re both part of heartz together), but also a cuddling buddy!! she wasn’t much of a cuddler, but chungha’s an exception.
she watches the older fold her clothes as she responds to her fondly, pouting to her response anddoing it more following after the poke. she’s gotten enough of the teasing from daniel, so getting it from chungha enhances the need to whine in response. a part of her wonders if she’d have to deal with this ifshe evers gets the chance to be a heartz member. but she tells herself not to think too much about that possibility. besides, she had to appreciate the now,especially considering she was going to live with someone as coolas chungha.
“but it’s tradition to eat jajangmyun when you move into a new house, unnie~~~” she whines, just enough so that it’s not unbearably annoying for the older. “and this is my new home, right? so you should reward me with something that can knock me out for the next day, or something!” she giggles after those words come out of her mouth. it’s a way to add to the jokingtone that the other had.
she gets off the other’s couch to follow after the other. “i’m okay!” she answers with a smile. “i’m actually really excited to live here! i really just hope i won’t be a bad roommate for you.” she pauses to think of what else to say next. “i mean- i hope i can be able to annoy you more, but other than that, i’m just happy to be here.” she’s joking about that… mostly.
shock attack
she’s sure they’re getting some looks for their stunt in the corridor at such an early hour but chungha can’t bring herself to care. it just felt so good to have mina there. it was just unfortunate she wouldn’t be able to give mina the personal tour. she’d be busy with heartz group evaluation prep today.
“good!” chungha replies with a smile. staff couldn’t be mad at that. mina could coast for now. “i hope your commute here wasn’t too bad.” it could be really difficult to adjust to the travel times and finding your way here. especially so early. train traffic was a headache.
chungha laughs. “wow you made him curse?” she was joking but now that she thinks of it, she doesn’t think she’s ever heard daniel curse in front of her. admittedly chungha curses enough for the both of them. daniel probably never really needed to. it was good that daniel knew (now) though. he could take over with showing mina around since chungha clearly couldn’t.
she was reminded of that fact when mina mentioned spending the days together. it wipes the smile off of chungha’s face. now comes the (sort of?) hard part. “actually….” she takes mina’s hand. might as well lead her to the cafeteria for breakfast. she was going to need the energy. “we won’t have a lot of time together.” it sounded bad but chungha was quick to explain.
“i’m actually a part of a predebut training project for sphere’s new girl group. it takes up most of my time.” it sounded like a good thing but it meant that mina would have to get around on her own. “we have evaluations every month but it’s separate from normal sphere trainees. the debut prep is supposed to take up to two years. and if i’m considered for the group i might be busy the entire two years.” she grimaced. it sounded so intensive when she phrased it that way. “but i’ll be here for breakfast, lunch and dinner! that’s usually when i see daniel too.”
when chungha repeats to her what she had proudly announced, she puts her hands on her hips and gives a confident pose (much like how the animal crossing villagers do it). “i sure did!” she answers with a big grin. “he was also his usual sappyself with me. you know how he is. super wholesome and stuff.” she’d say something a little more meaner,but she holds back from it. she wouldn’t want the wrong staff member to get the wrong impression.
she’s confused as to why chungha’s smile gets off her face, her confused look showing on her face. before she asks as to what’s wrong, the older holds her hand gently to lead her to the cafeteria for breakfast. it’s great, considering she was feeling hungry anyway, but she couldn’t help but still feel concerned over the other girl.
she pouts at first when chungha explains that the both of them won’t spend that much time together, but her face lights up at the mention of chungha being in a projectfor sphere’s new girl group. “heartz, right?” she asks with excitement. “i’ve seen the songs they’ve released so far. they seem really cool-”
she pauses. that wasn’t her mainpoint. “but oh my gosh, unnie. that’s amazing! i’m so happy you got this opportunity!” she says excitedly. she’d pull the other into a hug again, but this time she just holds her hand tighter so she doesn’t potentially embarrass the other… again. “two years sounds like a lot, but as long as you’re going to be successful in the end, then that’s all that matters! because if you don’t end up debuting, i’ll be super upset.”
speakingof breakfast, the sound of her stomach growling is louder than she wanted it to be. she finds herself blushing. “hopefully, thatwon’t happen in the future,” she says with a light laugh. she clears her throat. “it sucks that i won’t be able to see you as much, but i’ll try to make the time we see each other count! starting… now… with wherever you usually sit.”
。˚∘ i go ;
tv? no there was no way. the flashes of memory she got didn’t seem like television. chungha shakes her head. if it were on television then she definitely would have known (right?). “what were you on tv for? i don’t think it’s that….” but maybe it would be a step in the right direction.
even if chungha couldn’t really grasp the memory fully, she can recall certain things. she remembers it being chilly. if it was on television then she wouldn’t have been cold. she would have been snuggled up to meiqi if that were the case. therefore, she couldn’t even think of being chilly. (and admittedly she probably wouldn’t have been focusing much on the television if she was on meiqi for warmth. her girlfriend was distracting.)
chungha narrows her eyes. she can’t pull anything else from the glimpse. “no it’s definitely not television….it was cold.” so she must have seen her in the street or something. “do you busk by any chance? were you performing in the fall?” it was the best guess chungha had at that point. why else would she remember feeling cold?
the older womans denial causes her brows to raise, chunghas strong insistence doing fairly well to convince heejin that what she’s saying must be true, and that alone is something she finds odd. sure, random encounters while going about your days on the streets can happen, but unless heejins memory was suddenly beginning to fail her, she can’t seem to remember a time where they’d have met that would leave as strong an impression on her as the older woman seemed to recall.
“it was for last years season of the mgas— i was in the runner up group. that’s actually where i was offered my contract,” she answers, brows beginning to furrow just the tiniest bit. in her mind, her appearance then seemed to be what people recognized her now the most for, but if the show brought no more memories to the surface, they must have met even before then.
“i’ve never busked before, so that’s not an option…” now she’s starting to get annoyed, not with chungha, but with her own inability to remember where they could’ve possibly met. “maybe during an event that took place in the winter since you said it was cold…or…” it’s then that her mild frown relaxes a bit, head tilting. “have you handed out flyers?”
the first thing chungha thinks of is that this girl is so familiar.
she can’t tell how or why but the thought never leaves her. it becomes an annoyance to her, nagging at her. it was on the tip of her tongue but her brain couldn’t get a grasp on the thought fully. chungha hates it when memories escape her. they only come in incomplete flashes that do nothing to bring her closer to the answer.
this typically results in chungha staring at her for extended periods of time lost in thought.
eventually chungha opts for just asking rather than driving herself mad with thought. she takes a seat next to the younger girl. her eyes furrowed even as she readies the question. she hoped her brain would make a last minute slam dunk and hit her with the memory. she had no such luck. she might as well ask.
“do i know you from somewhere?”
as the hours pass by, it grows harder and harder for heejin to ignore such pointed stares.
really, any other time, being so eye catching wouldn’t necessarily be something that bothered her to the extent that it does now— she’s been in the public eye many times throughout her life, her time during the mgas subjecting her to the gazes of far more than she can count off the top of her head, so the nerves that come with public displays have long since ceased to make themselves known.
maybe that’s why the older woman’s gaze puts her on edge so much. normally, she’s able to read others faces pretty well, but chungha is different. all she does is stare, expressions flashing on her face only briefly, far too brief for heejin to fully grasp while trying to participate wholeheartedly during their practices.
when they finally do speak ( at the shorter womans start ), heejin isn’t sure whether to be grateful the looks have eased a tiny bit or nervous that they’re now this close. “i…don’t know..?” her tone is so unlike her, hesitant as she speaks. “i was on tv around a year ago, so maybe you saw me there..?”
it’s a little bitter sweet for this being the final month. for her, anyways. after this evaluation she was officially on debut prep. the thought was wild to her. it was official. she was debuting. after so many years it felt surreal.
but a part of her was a little sad to be taken away from the girls like this. right when she finally accepted the idea that she would just stick with them until the end, she actually makes it. how’s that for some cosmic karma? she felt like she had so much more to do with the girls. hang out with them more, go out to eat more, anything. it felt like her time with the girls was numbered until she too was too busy with debut and recording to hang out.
her faze was fixated on heejin once again. a familiar sight, she supposes. they had only recently started to connect. it felt like now there would be no time for that at all. after what should have been way too long of staring at someone, chungha finally said something.
“hey, wanna get dinner after training?”
with yet another start to a new month comes the departure of yet another girl within the project, picked to move up and join the growing crew of girls all waiting for their anticipated official group debut. heejin has long since stopped feeling the sting of rejection, the pressing thoughts of when is it going to be my turn far more rare than they’d been during her first months amongst the other potential next girls. no, now all she feels is acceptance and contentment— the peak had been for sua, naturally, but heejin was also surprised she’d felt almost as happy for chungha.
chungha, who she still didn’t really know despite how they’d been trying to get to know one another when they could. their start had been odd, that was for sure, but heejin no longer felt intimidated whenever she happened to get caught up in staring contests with the older. don’t get her wrong, she was still a bit hesitant, but she wouldn’t deny she still found their relationship funny at times.
she’s surprised when chungha approaches her, then, the action somewhat unexpected, but she tries not to let her own eyes show too much. it’s still weird, but heejin knows it can’t be weird forever, so when the older voices her offer, heejin takes a moment before answering.
“uhm, sure. special occasion?”
。˚∘ i go ;
the mention of the mgas makes chungha twitch her nose. although no that’sdefinitely not where she knows her from, at least it was an interesting tidbit of information to know about the younger. knowing the show, it must have been the summer and she must have been a trainee since its conclusion. so it meant she was within her first year of training and with such a great opportunity too. lucky. “who did you sign with?”
(with her luck the girl will say kt)
she did seem a bit young so the lack of busking checks out. and there tends to be less and less busking as the weather turns cold so the chances of that being remotely accurate was abysmal as well. and it bothered chungha to no end. where did she know her from.
“you’re too cute for it to be a random encounter. i’m decent with remembering faces but not without something happening you know? did i help you find your way or–” ah. the girl says it. immediately it clicks in to her head. that it must have been flyers but now the issue was which time?
she had joined kt in november so it had already turned frosty. and that would have been embarrassing if it was that. but she had also joined sphere in the frost of february. maybe even if it had been during her time in kt, the girl didn’t remember. how many people actually kept those flyers that they handed out? “yeah i’ve handled them before.” she hoped they could just brush past that and avoid the discussion of which company it actually was.
“that was such a long time ago. who would’ve thought we’d end up right back here? wow.” it brought a lopsided smile to her face. gone was the furrow in her brows “sometimes the world feels so small after all.”
for as great a memory as heejins, it irks her to no end how she’s unable to really recall a single moment when she and the older woman might have crossed paths in the pass. obviously, it hadhappened— she barely knows chungha, but simply judging from their current initial interaction, heejin sees no real or concrete reason for the older to make up something so trivial— but was brief. it amazes her, then, that chungha can remember, even if only a little ( that’s more than heejin can say for herself ). “in the end, it was trc that wanted me.” even now, the sting of royals disinterest in her is still present, even if small.
she lets the older get her thoughts out silently, and while she doesn’t respond, her compliment makes heejins cheeks warmer for only a moment.
that warmth fades almost as quickly as it had come, replaced with brief recollection. if her own supplied moment was right, judging from the wheels she could see turning in the older womans mind, then there were now at least a few points of meeting that could be narrowed down now even further. she wasn’t someone who received flyers very often, and knowing that this was all centered around the colder months, heejin could slowly begin to piece things together from the depths of her memories.
“it really is strange…” she can’t help but with a small grin of her own, thinking back. “before, and even a little after i was signed, i was so headstrong about royal that i didn’t really give other companies as much of a thought. maybe that’s why i didn’t remember as well as you did me.” heejin was a stubborn girl, but she was even more so a year ago. “kinda dumb now that i think about it.”
chungha easily adjusts herself so she can wrap herself around sua with an exaggerated content sigh. it was nice to cuddle up to a friend. and sua was easy to reciprocate the sentiment. she blows a raspberry, looking up at the other. there was something about the way she said that she was “okay” that chungha just didn’t feel convinced with. but maybe she was just frustrated as chungha had been about two months ago.
she’d like to think that if it was anything serious then sua would divulge it. maybe it was wishful thinking on her end. but there was no way to know that for sure.
“do i?” chungha repeats back. she wasn’t anticipating her question being returned. logically she should have. yet she finds herself unprepared. “honestly?” chungha starts, eyebrows furrowing as she thinks. “i don’t think so. i don’t think i’m prepared to have to do this until the very end.” in fact, after this month she’s sure she has nothing left to show them. show improvement? she’s already doing that. show new talents? done. show what she can do? that’s also done every single month. there was nothing fresh from chungha from the end of august onward. the pit in her stomach reminds her she’s a little more worried than she lets off.
“i don’t think it’s stupid,” chungha says with a frown. what sua was doing was a thankless job. it was one that no one asked for but it was one that everyone is thankful for. “i find it very….noble. selfless.” but she didn’t want sua thinking that was the only thing she was good for. she had a lot more to offer to the heartz collective than she realised.
maybe those were the qualities that makes a leader. chungha wouldn’t know. she didn’t want to be the leader of the group. that idea was packed up a long time ago. she feels like she’s better off not having all of the “responsibility” put on her. lord knows she doesn’t have the decorum for a position like that. but it seems like that sua does.
chungha chuckles, shaking her head softly as sua tucked a hair behind her ear. she scrunches her nose. “you’re so silly. of course i’m not worried about anything like that.” that sounded a bit cocky but she meant it earnestly. she elabourates to avoid any confusion. “i didn’t mean it as in you’re going to do something to undermine us all. if i’m being honest this doesn’t really feel as cut throat as i’ve experienced in other companies. i feel like sphere girls are more compassionate than that.” and that included sua. chungha didn’t mean to imply that sua would do anything dirtyto ensure being signed to heartz. besides, would it really be playing dirty if she was simply showing what she could do?
chungha sighed. “i think a lot of us are just tired.” she wouldn’t be surprised. “only the newer girls are still so pumped about everything. i know i don’t have the same energy levels now as i did a while ago.”
it’s clear that chungha doesn’t believe her at all, but this is also not something that sua would get into in the middle of sphere - let alone in the middle of a room full of the other heartz girls who would inevitably hear their conversation. as much as sua hates sphere, she’s not into the idea of social or career suicide and admitting that she loathes being in the project at all would probably be candidacy for both. either way, it’s nothing that chungha needs to worry about - there are her own worries.
after all, it’s obvious that chungha actually wants this. she doesn’t need to sit and listen to sua’s bitching about what a shit show she thinks this entire charade of a debut really is.
though she’s sure that chungha hadn’t expected her to turn her question back on her, especially without answering - sua also didn’t expect the loss for words coming from the other woman. chungha always seemed so sure of herself, so the lack of confidence thereof was a little alarming. is this the effect of predebut on her? or is this just what chungha really feels all the time? if it’s the latter, chungha does a really good job of hiding it but if it’s the former, sua truly wouldn’t be surprised. it’s hard not to notice the worry and the fatigue that draws the faces of the other girls. sometimes, she wonders if she looks like that, too.
“ i don’t think the point is to show something new every month.” sua says finally, brushing her fingers through chungha’s long hair. " i think it’s rather that they want you to show them you’ll suit the concept of the next solo. i think they already know we’re all talented. that’s probably why we’re here in the first place.“ she pauses, thinking - questioning. ” i’m not really sure if it’s the best way to pick a group, but when they’re giving us the same kind of requirements month after month it’s hard to show them something new all the time aside from what you can show them visually. wouldn’t you agree?“
sua sighs, though. at this, they’ll probably have to agree to disagree - regardless of what chungha says, sua knows that what she’s doing in the long run is stupid. after all, even if she gives up the most for the rest of the trainees, it’s likely that sphere will never put her in the lineup. she’s too much of a troublemaker. they already hate her.
chungha likely doesn’t know the extent of it, though. it’s not like sua ever talked about it to anyone.
eyes narrowing slightly, sua can’t help but crinkle her nose at chungha’s amusement. it’s the truth - she meant every word she said. and as much as chungha may not think so, it’s likely that there are other girls out there who may believe she will. ” you don’t have to worry about it from me. i wouldn’t say there aren’t girls like that among us, though.“ sua says finally, setting her jaw at the thought of the girls who bullied eunbi to the point of tears, stress, exhaustion. ” even if you’re not suspicious of me, i still wanted to make sure you knew.“
after all, there’s still a possibility that she’d give up her spot in heartz if it meant that someone better could take her place. sua’s still not sure what she wants yet.
she stares at her reflection until she goes cross eyed; which probably is a recipe for a headache when this is partnered with the blood rushing to her head from laying on the couch with her head hanging upside down from the cushion. she’s thoroughly exhausted although she knows they will need one more run through together before calling it a day. the break helps though. they deserved it.
before she pushes herself to nausea, chungha rights herself on the couch and reaches out for sua. it was for her to come be seated closer to her ( and maybe to come close enough so chungha could cuddle too. ) she smiles at her. “how’re you feeling?” it has been six months. it was a feat. though chungha herself had hitten the low point of feeling continuously beaten for now being chosen, she has since made peace with it. maybe it wasn’t her time. perhaps it wasn’t that she wasn’t good enough: she just didn’t suit the concept they were going for. admittedly, they did start this looking for girls who suited the pure concept and chungha was the farthest thing from it.
but she wasn’t sure how sua had been taking the journey thus far. chungha was a little dazzled by all the new friends upon entering sphere. she hasn’t been a good friend to sua because of this, she knows that, but as long as it seemed like sua managed to keep her head above the water so far. “do you think you have a plan….for all of this i mean….like, how to keep going?” existential. how casual.
chungha had encountered her own hiccup the previous month with choice in performance. she felt like she was running out of material to present before it gets predictable and boring. chungha did not like being predictable. so maybe sua would be able to provide some insight. “you have so many talents. it’s not fair to the rest of us.” chungha pouts at her, softly bunting her forehead against sua’s shoulder. “you probably always have a trick up your sleeve.”
their breaks are short in comparison to the hours on end that they practice to make things perfect. the group performances of the month are just as important as their solo ones, and with a constant shuffling of the girls, whether they’re being introduced or on their way out, there’s always new challenges to face and little quirks to get used to. even during the break, there’s things that sua has learned about the other girls that she probably wouldn’t have if she wasn’t in the project - things like the way chungha lays upside down on the couch, or how many of them there are to avoid stepping on when they’re all sprawled out on the ground. her lips purse a little as she looks around her, but chungha makes a move first - reaches for her, even.
they haven’t spoken in a long time, even within the project. chungha has seemed wrapped up in her own worries and sua decided it best not to press it - especially since she seemed a little more at ease with the newer additions. she sits next to her with a small sigh, her elbows resting back against the back of the couch. how are you feeling - and of course, chungha wouldn’t know. after all, sua doesn’t let onto her emotions as much as the other girls, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what she’s thinking. even now, she shrugs. how should she admit to chungha that she hates this project with every fibre of her being? just the fact alone that eunbi was bullied to the point of fear and tears made her want to rip some of the girls to shreds. " okay, i suppose.“ the words are tight when she speaks them, brows furrowed together. she knows better than to speak her venom in front of the others.
she brushes a hand through her hair, biting the inside of her cheek. ” do you?“ sua finally counters, turning her head to face chungha. after all, she probably wouldn’t be all too bothered if she doesn’t make it into the group. in her mind, there’s nothing for her there except a death of her own spark and the death of her individuality. they’ve already tried to quash it once before, she has no doubt that they’ll be ten times worse if she was actually chosen for a group like heartz.
at the same time though, sua knows that chungha would probably be devastated. ” i think i care more about the girls than anything. i think that’s what keeps me hanging on -“ even though i hate it. ” it’s not good for them, so i want to make sure they’re okay. stupid, isn’t it? they didn’t ask me to.“ sua snorts, taking a look around at some of the dozing trainees around her. ” but even if i’ve only been training for a year, i can tell when someone’s starstruck. i don’t want them to get hurt in the end.“
chungha’s compliment though makes her raise a brow, turn her head to face her. ” i may be talented but i assure you, it’s not a trick. i’m not going to do something radical to pull the rug out from under any of you.“ reaching out, she tucks chungha’s hair back behind her ear. ” i promise.“
honestly chungha was still waiting for sphere to pull out the rug from beneath her. it was lingering in her mind every day as she learned the lyrics to singing in the rain. it was more electropop (kind of?) sound but it was definitely unique. it caught chungha’s attention immediately. she had found herself loving it more and more as time went on. sometimes it just didn’t click to her that this song was hers. it wasn’t a cover, it wasn’t homage to another idol, it was hers.
it didn’t seem real.
throw in learning the choreography (which wasn’t too bad, honestly) it really began to cement to chungha that this was it. how crazy was that? her song, her lyrics, her choreography. to add to it: she was even getting a duet with sua who had been confirmed the previous month. chungha’s entire life had been absorbed by the heartz project thus far but it seems like now that’s all her life was. nothing but heartz every day now. it felt chaotic but not in a bad way.
“i like your hair,” chungha tells sua with a smile. it was a little thrilling to be in a subunit with sua. they’ve both come such a long way to get here. it sort of felt….right, almost. she shrugs off sua’s apologies. chungha knew how busy she must have been with her own debut less than a month away and now she has to do a duet with chungha for her debut. it was crazy.
“i can’t expect you to drop everything and sing with me,” chungha jokes. truthfully most of her attention had been on her solo song as well. of course she practised love letter. it was every bit a song of hers as singing in the rain was but it fell to the backburner a bit. especially with her having to do the group evaluation too this month.
“i think i like the sound. it’s kind of slower tempoed but i think it’s really cute. i only heard the track and singing guide. i know it’s going to sound a lot different with our voices.” and the editing and changes to suit their vocals too. even if chungha liked it now, she knows it wouldn’t be the final product. “how have you been doing? excited for next month?”
the fact that she’s sitting here now, with chungha feels like a genuine relief. the guilt that she felt last month is dissipating little by little and now that chungha has actually joined the lineup, things feel a little more righted in the world. her own doesn’t feel like it’s tipping on its axis and like she could fall off at any moment. the fact that they’re in a subunit together makes it all the more … right.
there’s still a lot that sua has to come to terms with when it comes to heartz and being part of its lineup, not to mention being forced into a life with sphere for however long their contract term will be. but at the very least, things are slowly starting to make at least a little bit of sense.
she shakes her head to pull herself from her thoughts, a slight frown on her lips when chungha compliments her hair. as if this isn’t just number one of a large number of things that she hates about her debut - sua never wanted to go blonde; she’s spent years keeping her hair dark and focused on keeping it undamaged. that all went out the window the minute sphere decided she was going to debut. “ mm .. thanks. i guess it’s all right.” she says with a sigh, picking up a strand of her dead hair and frowning as it falls lifeless from her fingers. “ hopefully i can go back dark soon.”
sua tucks her hair back behind her ear and shakes her head once more, waving her off. “ your second song is still important, even if everyone’s attention will be on your debut song. and for that, you need me but i wasn’t here so … i still want to make some time for you.”
flicking through the sheet music, sua nods with a hum. “ i was listening to the guide for it on the trip to film my music video. our voices will suit it well, i think. i can’t imagine singing it with anyone else.” she says finally, sitting back in her seat but the next question gives her pause. “ i’m fine.” truthfully, she’s not really sure how to answer it. excitement is definitely not the word that she would use. “ i think i’m too tired right now to feel excited. maybe ask me again next month.”
this month feels a bit like a whirlwind. where things seemed to go far too slowly before, days inching by where sua would count down until she could actually deny her contract renewal as if driven by a snail … it all seems too fast now. now, sphere expects the same out of her that they did back in january, too much time spent in practice rooms and not enough rest. it’s like they’re telling her once more that they want to break her, but sua is resilient and resistant. she always has been the rebel with a cause.
this month, aside from her own filming and modeling and recording - now, with the addition of chungha, she has a third song to learn in a short period of time. two songs of her own, and one shared with the second girl in their three part subunit learned in the span of two months. is it always going to be this hasty?
sua keeps the music sheets in front of her, her face carefully neutral. love letter is another song that she finds surprisingly to her tastes, and singing it with chungha at her side feels oddly fitting. turning her attention to chungha, sua tucks back a piece of her now blonde hair - that she quite frankly, hates - behind her ear before speaking. “ sorry i haven’t been around to practice with you enough the past week.” she pauses. “ they’ve had me running everywhere, but .. looking at it, i think this song is good for us. what do you think?”
˟ ▀ &. @rkchungha
