#horrible histories
all about elagabalus
Party Like a Roman Emperor 罗马皇帝的疯狂派对（喂跳戏国家地理了！！）
圈儿：ela的月桂花环好像猫耳////
我: 更像一只小羊羔，带恶魔角的那种~
alex and heph
When I say the Pythia spoke in tongues and required the priests of Apollo to translate for her, this is exactly what I mean:
(Also I love that Horrible Histories added the death of Aeschylus!)
julian : just because i’m not the gayest gay doesn’t mean i’m the straightest straight.
captain : i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.
fanny : i’m not doing too well. i have this headache that comes and goes.
alison : *walks into the room*
fanny : oh look, there it is again.
thomas : if i were a gardener i’d put our tulips together.
alison :thanks?
mike : if i were a gardener you’d be my hoe.
alison :aww.
julian : you think that disapproving glare works on me after all the times i’ve seen it?
alison : if you want something bad, you’ve gotta work for it. it’s time to break out the “p” word.
mike : paul blart : mall cop?
alison : the other “p” word.
mike :
mike : paul blart : mall cop 2?
pat : i cant do stress, it’s bad for the baby.
robin : what baby?
pat :me.
thomas : people don’t write things on the walls of the ladies’ room.
alison : have you been in a ladies’ room?
thomas : of course not! i know i have the sexual charisma of a bad boy, but i certainly don’t have the manners of one.
robin : i’ll have you know that i am a sweet treat! i am a fucking delight to be around.
captain : we have nothing whatsoever in common. i don’t even like you!
julian : you do.
both : we got…
mike :…tacos!
alison :…married!
mike : oh, oh yeah. yeah, we got married. and then after we got married, we got tacos!
robin : 2019 goals. punch the sun in the face; punch god in the face; shake hands with the moon, i can respect the moon; punch myself in the face.
mary : i don’t know how to read! but neither did jesus!
julian : god i hate inflation. the financial concept, not the fetish. love the fetish!
kitty : i got arrested for being too cool.
fanny : charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence.
thomas : being ignored, now that i am mature, is fine i suppose.
thomas :
thomas :
thomas : this is a lie, i’m on the verge of tears.
captain : *unbuttoning shirt* god, it’s so hot in here.
julian : i know, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
