#humans are deathworlders
Humans are Space Orcs - Space food industry
Well, if we have a tourism industry in space, why not a food one?
Due to the fact we are humans, we can eat a lot things animals can’t eat, so I imagine that we would have access to a lot of different types of foods.
It would be free trading for the aliens if they can’t eat the fruit/veg and it would be exciting for all the foodies out there!
People might take up poison resistance via intake of poisons just to show off that they can eat a certain food or so they can see if an alien was right about a fruit/veg taste! I mean, if I fruit was as tasty as an alien told us it would be, who wouldn’t?
What if, when your 18 or 12, Idk, you get to pick of fruit you want to be able to eat despite it being poisonous? It would be like choosing a elective/college degree!
~~~
“Hey, what food did you pick?”
“I got the Kuramazui, you know the one that’s like a lemon but it’s pink on the outside and is sweet on the inside?”
“Lucky! By the time I registered, it was all filled up! I picked Bangotango! It seems to be the closest to my tastes other than the Kuramazui.”
Aliens would probably look at us at concern because humans are willing to poison themselves so they can eat food.
But, as we all say, it would totally be worth it.
Humans are space orcs - Urges
Is it just me or do random urges to do things come out of nowhere?
Like, wanting to glomp a nearby friend or singing a random tune?
I mean, just today, I got a hold of a hockey stick and I had the strongest urge to whack some in the head with it and see how far I could yeet them.
Though aliens could just put these urges down in behavioural adaptations, it still wouldn’t make too much sense as behavioural adaptations are usually developed to help the specices survive and jumping out a window certainly would be more detrimental than beneficial.
—
Human - I really want to eat the dirt.
Alien - Human, the soil of this planet is highly toxic for your specices-
Human - But it looks like sherbet!
Alien - No, we must depart now. *Grabs human by the space suit*
Human - *glares at ground* Stupid forbidden sherbet.
—
Human - Who wants to dare me to throw my bag off a balcony?
Alien - Why would you ask someone to throw your supply carrier? It not only contains important materials and equipment but it could severely injure a person.
Human - Cause I want an excuse to do it.
Alien - Why?!
Human - Cause I feel like it.
—
Human - *Hugs other human*
Alien - Human, why did you engage in the ritual you call ‘Hugging’ so spontanously?
Human - I don’t know. Just felt like it.
—
Human - I want to just collaspe down the stairs.
Aliens - ??? Human that would cause more harm than benefit.
Human - But it’ll be just like, splat.
Alien - Please human, reconsider your actions.
Humans are space orcs - Heart
Karvera’s notes
The documentary of the human species.
—-
The death worlders are strange. The first thing you would note is that they are very friendly despite their death worlder nature. They are not apex predators, yet they thrive in their world.
What’s more to note is how much humans use the organ heart. They use strange shapes to represent it though those shapes look nothing like the human heart.
They use phrases like, “golden heart”, “good at heart”, “don’t take those words to heart”. Words that first confused me. It was not possible for a heart to be “made of gold”, it was not possible to physically take words to your heart. I got immediately concerned when a human said that they, “felt a hole in their heart.” I was later told that they meant a human felt like they were missing something.
Humans seem to see the heart as the center of their being, not the brain. They see it as who they are.
Does the thing they call, “a soul” reside there?
I asked the humans that had pack bonded with me and they laughed.
They told me no, but it was often where they felt like they had one.
How curious…
Alien: So you built huge towers ful of the most explosive substances in the known universe in the name of throwing yourself out into space?
Human: Yep.
Alien: AND IT WORKED?!!
Human: Well … Eventually.
Alien: That’s terrifying!
Human: and they were built by the lowest bidder.
Alien: How is your species still alive?!!
Human: *shrugs* We’re very stubborn.
“How are you still alive?” “We’re very stubborn”
The best description of humanity you will ever find.
warnings:ptsd, mentions of past trauma/bad living conditions/dehumanization
-
When Virgil emerged from his cockpit after piloting for as long as he could manage, there were two Humans waiting for him.
He paused immediately, tempted to just turn around and pretend he wasn’t going to pass out at the helm within the hour.
Unfortunately, they would probably still be there no matter how long he hid away. The Humans seemed to need longer rest periods than him, but they also slept in shifts, and there was always at least one awake, often two.
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warnings: miscommunication, threats, poison mention, medical torture mention, food scarcity mention
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“… Food?” Virgil echoed, wondering if he’d heard wrong.
“Yes, food,” Square continued, their gaze flickering to the cup he’d almost forgotten he was holding. “You have a… food-storage room on the ship, yes?”
“A pantry?” Virgil asked, and then nodded because what else could they be referring to. “I need to eat, most things do.”
“Us as well,” Square replied, and Virgil quickly cottoned on to their seriousness.
His nerves increased. Humans consumed flesh and blood, didn’t they? The only non-Human source of that on the ship was him, and he wasn’t feeling thatgenerous. “I don’t have meat.”
Crews Quick Guide to Humans
- Quiet humans are not defective. Loud humans are not defective. Unless there is a significant change, assume your human is operating at normal levels.
- Human words do not mean the same thing all the time. Look up the study of human tone if you want to always know what your human means.
- Human females will smell of blood each month. If this changes, ask your human in private if something happened.
- Human males often do not know how loud they are. Asking them to lower their voice is not offensive.
- Human cultures vary greatly and various cultures have conflicting beliefs. Most humans will not be offended if you cannot keep up with this.
- Humans do not share a hive mind but do have several musical triggers that activate a human chorus. These triggers transcend most cultural and language barriers.
- All Stabby units come with a human locator setting. Use liberally.
- Ask for a detailed explanation before agreeing to join a human on any non work activity.
- Be aware of human hobbies and skills. Humans enjoy company and will likely teach you whatever they know. It is also beneficial to know what your human may do should they get bored.
- Do not be too concerned over what humans ingest, so long as they do so willingly and with the full knowledge of what they are ingesting.
- Unless you hear a human say something along the lines of ‘I hope this works’ or ‘here goes nothing’, assume they have a working knowledge at the attempted task.
- If you hear a human say one of the above phrases, take cover as it is likely too late to stop or report them.
- If you hear, “Hey guys, watch this!” don’t bother taking cover; just rush to get the medical team.
Every species has their own system of codes and ciphers. Every species had hidden or lost treasure. But no species ever made there’s as needlessly complicated as humans did.
They coded everything, from their names (nicknames), to their door locks (who doesn’t use bio locks in this day and age?). They coded so much that it seemed to be ingrained in them to solve these codes.
Humans started being hired by historians of other species trying to uncover their own history. Normally one or two per team was all that was required, more if your species had a history of traps.
Quite suddenly, lost histories of every species were being discovered and shared. It was the largest boom of historical knowledge the universe had seen. For every planet except Earth.
Every historian who’d ever asked a human for help eventually turned their attention to the humans own history and lost artifacts. Many were too scared to actually go to the deathworld, but they started sending more and more advanced technology along with human explorers.
They dove into stories of human lore. Everything humans claimed lost over the years. A city. A pilot. A ship. A mountain. An island. They dove into these for clues and anyway they could offer their humans assistance in finding their own histories.
Slowly, they did. One at a time they discovered the truth in the stories and found these precious treasures.
But then they discovered the stories of monsters and gods. Already this far, they dug into those as well.
The truth behind those were not as reassuring. Terrible things in history that seemed tamed by the humans own lore. When they brought this to the humans attention, the response was not one they expected.
“Yeah, we knew where those came from. We prefer the stories we came up with.”
Historians across the known universe stopped, and it became a common rule to accept human stories as presented, lest you uncover a much darker truth.
Trigger Warning. This bit takes place in a hospital and deals with victims of a natural disaster.
—————————————————-
Another body was carried inside and dropped onto an open bed. The dark yellow blood trailing behind alerted me to the severity of the wound.
“On three.” I lied to the patient in front of me and gave their injection immediately. I dropped the injector on the table next to their bed and moved quickly to the bleeding Helvsparr.
A quick glance and I knew what the bleeding was from. Still, you could never be too sure.
“What’s wrong?”
I looked again to their face when no answer came. Unconscious. One of the beings who carted them in had stayed behind. I clicked sharply at them.
“What happened to them?” I repeated.
The clearly shaken up Drrhn finally looked coherent. “Rockslide. He was pinned. My partner is a human. Two deathworlders on a rescue team, should have been fine.”
I clicked again, louder. “He’s bleeding out and in order to have a chance at saving him, I need to know what all is wrong.”
“Byron gave him a sedative and amputated his arm. He also has a potentially crushed chest plate and several broken ribs. Minor cuts and gashes from the rocks.”
I held pressure on the wound and gathered the supplies needed to cauterize. Normally we’d have a nice cooling spray to seal the wound but this was an emergency and we ran out of the nice stuff two hours ago.
When I cauterized the wound, he woke up screaming. The Drrhn snapped too and helped hold him still. I moved quickly once that was done, checking the Helvsparr for any more damage. He kept looking for his missing limb, an appropriate response, but his squirming made it hard to do much.
“Drrhn, you see that cabinet with the yellow and red signs?”
“The one that says do not open?” he asked.
“Go get me the blue and white bottle,” I commanded.
“If there’s more than one?” he asked.
“Then get me all of the blue and white bottles.”
He ran off.
“What are you giving me?” the Helvsparr asked.
Finally, coherence.
“You’ve got an injury that most species don’t survive. Lose of a limb is fatal, except in humans. Being as you’re dealing with a human injury, you’re getting human medicine. Those crazies haven’t offered much of substance to the galaxy but their medicine is something to be envious of.”
“Isn’t human medicine lethal?” he asked.
I didn’t have time for a bedside manner. “You’re dying one way or another. At least this way I can mitigate pain and stop you from dying of shock.”
Drrhn made it back with five medicine bottles. I grabbed one and pulled out four red pills. I held them out to the Helvsparr.
“Here.”
He took them and swallowed them dutifully, if nervous.
“Now hold on to the rails and don’t let go.”
He did, nervous. I clicked at the Drrhn, who reached forward to hold two of his remaining three arms down. I started feeling down his chest, identifying the major internal problems. The Helvsparr tried to be quiet, but there was only so much he could do when four firm hands press down on broken bones.
After finding the spots that are the most damaged, I grabbed the wraps and braces. I clicked instructions at the Drrhn periodically because he was the only extra hands I’d get.
“Hey Doctor? I don’t feel pain, or anything really. Am I dying?”
I forced an easy nod at the bottle. “It’s the human medicine. They put themselves in so much pain, they invented some of the best pain relievers we’ve ever seen.”
“I’m not dying?” he asked.
“Not today. And you’re not allowed to die on me tomorrow either.”
I finished bracing and wrapping, told him to rest, and moved on to the next unattended bed.
“Doc, is he really gonna live?” Drrhn asked.
“No clue. Human medicine is dangerous, but it’s his best bet. At the very least, he won’t die in pain. Now, you either go back out and do your job, or you’re going to continue to help do mine.”
The Drrhn nodded and rushed out to continue to pull in more mutilated victims of a not so natural disaster. I glanced down my next patient to identify any major concerns.
