#i want to end it

Some days are hard. 

Some days,I can’t. I can’t stand myself. I can’t cope with the idea of living with myself. I can’t look at the mirror without crying. Some days, when I look at myself, I only see “fat”, “ugly”, “stupid”, “not funny”, “worthless”, “dumb”, “useless” and it’s unbearable. Because at these days, I hate myself so much… And it hurts so bad that I literally shut myself down. 

Some days, I don’t understand. I don’t understand what my family sees in me. I don’t understand what my friends like about me. I don’t understand how such amazing people could ever tolerate me. I don’t understand how people could want to be with me, because I’m such a shitty worthless garbage. 

Yesterday was hard.  

I WANT TO DIE. OH GOD I WANNA BE DEAD. I.JUST.WANT.TO.FUCKING.DIE. I’M DONE. I CAN’T. I REALLY CAN’T HANDLE ALL OF THIS SHIT ANOTHER DAY. I WANT TO PUSH A BUTTON AND JUST STOP EXISTING. I WANT TO DIE.