I can’t remember the last time I felt this alone

I’m getting bad again. And unlike every other time, when I’ve sought out help,

This time I’m just letting it infest me.

I want to lose weight. No matter what. I want to feel numb, because I have been stuck in a rut of feeling too much for too long.

Getting lost in myself has never hurt so much.

I don’t know

I don’t know if it was the fact that I moved away from the stress, or that I’m working out longer and harder, or that I’m eating so much less than I did before, but I made it guys.

Goal #1 has been reached. Collarbones are coming back and visible.

Just gotta keep going.

I’m getting bad again…

It’s festival season, and where I am, it’s really hot. I’ve been working out a lot and I’ve lost weight but my thighs and butt have gotten bigger with muscle, but none of last years shorts fit anymore.

I tried buying some new ones today. And although I have been in such a good place about my body, I haven’t felt this low since high school. I haven’t eaten at all today, and I know I should eat but I can’t justify it.

I just can’t do this again.

I feel like my life is burning.

Life punishes me every time I’m happy. I get hurt. People I love get hurt. And I can’t tell if it’s my fault anymore. I just want to be happy.

Opened myself up

Only to get heartbreak like every other time. I swear I never make the right choice.

She drew in trouble wherever she went. There was something odd about her. Maybe it was the way her eyes laid on anyone. Or it was the way she couldn’t let anybody help her. They all thought they knew her. But it wasn’t what it was. They only knew what she wanted them to believe. Nobody knew her. So when she disappeared, she left no traces behind. Some say it was a getaway. But I know. I know she was taken.

More cuts on the arm thats so scarred

Just adding to the collection I guess.

EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF I WAS DEAD. SO LET ME KILL MYSELF. PLEASE

Fuck love

Fuck life

Fuck him

Fuck you

Fuck her

Fuck them

You never loved or even fucking liked me you just used me for your happiness then threw me away when i wasn’t doing my job right. But little did you know you juat saying hi or good morning to me made me so happy. But now all I do is cry and wish i was FUCKING DEAD. I hate you so much. Or I want too. But you’ll always be my happy place. And i fucking hate it.

Shit

It’s sad. I went through my whole house looking for a blade. I was shaking like it was a drug that I needed. I found one. And after I cut I felt fine. I felt better. What’s wrong with me…

I’m sorry mom and dad

I wish i could just pay back my parents all the money they used on me. So when i kill myself. It was never a waste of money…

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My loves

I’m back in rehab. I’m sorry. I love you all and I’ll be back soon.