#insecure

one of my greatest fears is that we don’t mean as much to you as we do to me

req. - jj going surfing with the reader and that’s the first time he sees them in a swimsuit

synopsis - jj seeing reader in a swim suit for the first time

a/n - i suck at posting <3 this also sucks but oh well

t/w - body dysphoria, awful writing

 w/c - 542

taglist - to be added go here- @harrysbbby​@silversunsandstars@stilinskiandsuch@poguecollins@teenwaywardasgardian​@write-from-the-heart​@hopelesswritingxd​

falling onto the bed with a heavy sigh, y/n wrapped her arms around her stomach, which seemed to be much to pudgy for her liking. she shut her eyes, trying to push away any thoughts of her body and how it looked. her boyfriend of just a few months had asked her to go surfing and she couldn’t say no due to the unbearable heat that outer banks had blessed them that day. she had previously tried on just seemed to look awkward on her body, which led her to lying on her bed like she was now.

sitting up, her eyes fell to the small pile of bikinis that laid on the floor. her eyes raked through them again, finally standing with a sigh. y/n grabbed the red one, that seemed to have the least amount of random straps, and slid it onto her body. poking at her stomach, she sucked in to see if that could make her feel any different about herself. biting the inside of her cheek, y/n opened the drawer beside her and slid on one of jj’s many t-shirts he had left at her house. she left the room quickly, sneaking out through the door and grabbing her surfboard that she had waxed earlier that day. holding it under her arm, she started her walk to the beach which was pretty close to her house. 

the warm sand was an awakening for y/n, her toes scrunching up to feel the heat. letting out a relaxing sigh, she seemed to forget why she was at the beach in the first place. her heart beat sped up at the sight of her boyfriend, grip on the board loosening as she almost dropped it. biting her cheek again, her steps slowed as she got closer to the blond. 

jj was sitting in the sand, shirt discarded elsewhere as his hands wiped any sand off of the surfboard. turning, he jumped at the sight of his girlfriend. smiling, jj stood and wrapped his arms around the shorter. “hi, baby.” he cooed, pulling away to kiss her forehead. 

y/n smiled awkwardly, sucking in her stomach unknowingly. jj, noticing the small motion, quirked his eyebrow. his hand traced from her shoulders down to the curves of her stomach, watching her shy away. “are you okay?” he asked softly, pulling her a little closer. y/n stayed silent for a moment, turning her head as to not meet his eyes. 

“yeah.” y/n finally muttered, arms wrapping around her stomach again.”i just, well i’ve been to a beach but never.. i dont know. i dont ever wear bathing suits this.. revealing. i guess.” she whispered, biting her lip.

jj frowned, pulling y/n into a close hug. “my love, you look gorgeous. and hot. but gorgeous more,” he cooed, kissing her forehead. y/n grinned, her face flushing as she stayed silent. “do you still want to surf?”

“yeah, of course. ‘m sorry i made this a bigger deal than needed.” y/n sighed, apologizing for nothing. 

jj shook his head, “baby you didnt do anything. not everybody is confident, okay? lets go and we dont have to think about this. after we can cuddle, my love.”