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Once my Mother’s relationship with Damon was revealed, she seemed happier. Damon made an effort to get to know me and he was actually really kind. He treated me as if I was his own Daughter and that made me happy. I still missed the Father I never got to know dearly, but Damon was as close to a Father figure as I was going to get. I really liked him and having him around made everything feel more like home.
Currently my Mother was out shopping and Damon offered to watch me instead of her hiring a babysitter. I was so excited to spend another day with him and he seemed just as happy. We were sitting in the living room together, watching some random show that was on. Neither one of us were that invested in what was going on, but we were still enjoying it.
“Y/N? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.” Damon suddenly said and I felt my heart skip a beat. This was it. My perfect little world was about to blow up in my face. Damon was about to tell me how he doesn’t love my Mother anymore and he found another girl…
“O-Okay…” I stuttered as I turned to face him. He gave me a kind smile and muted the show.
“It’s nothing to be worried about.” He said and I took a deep breath. He took a second to compose his thoughts and then took a deep breath himself.
“Y/N, as you know me and your Mother have been seeing each other for a long time now.” He started and I nodded, my anxiety still not leaving me completely.
“Well, I love your Mother very much and I love you as well. I think of you as my own Daughter. I wanted to make sure this was alright with you first before I asked your Mother, because I know you’re her whole world and she wouldn’t do anything without making sure you’re okay with it first.” He said and I looked at him confused.
“I want to ask your Mother to marry me, but only if you’re alright with me being part of your family.” He said and I nodded with the biggest smile ever, but then I thought about how my Father left us for another woman and frowned.
“You won’t leave us… right?” I asked and he pulled me onto his lap.
“Y/N, I promise you, I will never leave you or your Mother.” He said and held out his pinky to me. I smiled and wrapped my much smaller one around his. He smiled down at me as we pulled our fingers apart.
“I’d like to make it clear that I am in no way trying to replace your Father. I know how much you care about him and how you wish you got to know him, but I’d hope you can see me as your Father in some way, someday. I would never want to replace him, because he’s part of the reason you’re an amazing girl and part of the reason you’re in the world today.” He said and I smiled even bigger, with tears in my eyes.
“You’re already my Daddy, and I know you’re not replacing my Father.” I said and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him.
“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” He said and I pulled back with a smile.
“Y/N? Damon? I’m home!” My Mother called. She walked into the room a few moments later and I hopped off the couch, running right up to her. I gave her a huge hug and she laughed. She lifted me up and kissed my cheek.
“Now what was that for?” She asked with a smile.
“Mum! Damon has something to ask you!” I said, excitedly.
“What?” She asked confused as she set me down. I pulled her over to Damon and he chuckled at my reaction.
“This isn’t exactly what I had planned, but I can’t really blame Y/N for being excited.” He said, which only made my Mother more confused.
“What’s going on you two?” She asked. Damon took my Mother’s hand and smiled up at her as he sunk down to one knee.
“Anabella Renaud, I have loved you long before we started dating and I will love you until the day I die. I knew you wouldn’t even think about accepting my proposal until you asked Y/N, which is why I went ahead and got her blessing before I ask. Anabella, will you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?” He asked and pulled out a huge ring with a square yellow diamond, surrounded by white diamonds all around it! I gasped as did my Mother.
“I-I… Y/N, are you sure you’re alright with this?” She asked, kneeling down to my level.
“Yes! Damon is already like my Daddy, and he pinky promised he wouldn’t leave!” I said, bouncing on my heels. She giggled at me and looked back at Damon.
“In that case, I would love to marry you, Damon.” She said. He placed the ring on her finger and pulled her in for a loving kiss.
“Yay! I’m going to have a Daddy!” I cheered and they both chuckled at me. They pulled me in for a group hug and each kissed the side of my head.
“I have to tell Draco! We’re going to have a wedding!” I said and ran up to my room as they laughed.
*1990*
Damon had moved in not long after he proposed to my Mother. We were finally a family and I was so happy. My Mother was actually excited about the wedding and even let me help plan it! Draco was my date and he would be walking me down the aisle. I had picked out a goldish-yellowish dress, white flats, a blue and white flower crown, and of course the necklace Draco got me for my seventh birthday.
I was in the room with my Mother, helping her and her real bride’s maid get her ready. She looked like a real life Princess! Her dress was big and sparkly, her shoes were really nice and expensive, but you couldn’t see them because of how big her dress was. Her makeup was very simple, but she looked amazing! Finally her bouquet was a mix of white and blue flowers, just like my crown!
“You look so amazing, Mum!” I gushed and she smiled down at me.
“Thank you my little fawn, you do as well. I’m sure Draco will be amazed when he sees you.” She said and I blushed slightly.
“I hope so.” I said and she smiled.
“Bella, darling?” Grandfather knocked on the door and peeked his head in.
“Grandfather!” I shouted and ran up to him. He smiled and lifted me up, kissing the side of my head.
“Hello my Princess, you look wonderful.” He said and I smiled.
“Not as good as Mum, she looks just like a Princess!” I said and he finally looked her over.
“Oh my sweet girl…” He said and put me down. He walked over to my Mother and gave her a spin.
“You look amazing.” He said and she smiled brightly.
“Thank you, Daddy.” She said.
“You look so happy.” He smiled fondly at her.
“I am.” She replied.
“Well then, let’s get you married… again.” He said and my Mother giggled.
“Y/N, Draco is waiting for you just down the hall.” Grandfather said and I nodded. I walked out of the room and down the hall. Draco had his back turned to me and I ran up, hugging him from behind.
“What the-” He started and turned around as I let go of him.
“Hello, love.” He smiled. I felt my heart flutter slightly at the nickname he had recently started calling me, since he turned ten.
“Hello, Dray.” I said, giving him a little curtsy. He chuckled and gently took my hand. He kissed the back of it and pulled me closer to him. That’s when I noticed his tie.
“Did you wear this just to match me?” I giggled as he blushed.
“Mother may have informed me of your dress color, and I may have taken it into consideration.” He said and I giggled again.
“You’re adorable!” I said and kissed his cheek.
“Y/N! Draco! It’s time, get into place!” My Mother’s bridesmaid said. We both quickly got into place and I clung to my small bouquet as my hand rested against Draco’s arm. We soon heard the music start and everyone began walking down the aisle. I smiled as I saw Damon dressed in his all black suit, different to Draco’s, his blue tie that matched the flowers my Mother had chosen, and his matching black shoes.
Draco and I went our separate ways, he stood next to Damon and I stood on my Mother’s side. My Grandfather and Mother were walking down the aisle and everyone’s eyes were on them. When my Mother made it to the end my Grandfather kissed her cheek and went to take his seat in the front row. Everything kind of dragged on after that, until my Mother and now Step-Father kissed. Everyone cheered and clapped. I ran up to them and Damon lifted me up, kissing my cheek. They both hugged me tightly and Damon started carrying me back down the aisle.
“Hey! That’s my date!” Draco called as he chased after us. My parents chuckled and placed me down. Draco wrapped his arm around mine and slightly glared at Damon.
“Sorry, Draco. I wouldn’t dare take Y/N away from you.” He said. Draco huffed and nodded. I giggled at my best friend and kissed his cheek.
The party after the wedding was just as perfect as the reception was. Draco and I danced together a lot. We were currently sitting at our table having a drink while we talked when the band tried to gain everyone’s attention.
“Sorry to bother everyone, but the groom ‘ere has requested a special dance with his new daughter!” The lead singer said and my eyes widened. Damon walked up to us and kneeled down on one knee in front of Draco.
“Mind if I borrow your date?” He asked and Draco looked at me. I gave him a smile and he sighed.
“I suppose so…” He said and I giggled. He’s always been insanely protective over me and never liked when someone else gave me attention. He was always worried someone would hurt me, but Damon was now my Father and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Damon stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and hopped off my chair. Damon led me to the middle of the dance floor and the music began. He led me as we danced and eventually I ended up standing on his feet. It was an amazing experience that I never expected to have in my life. Damon wasn’t replacing my Father, but he was most definitely my Dad.
Once the dance was finished everyone clapped and Damon led me back to Draco. I took my seat and Damon kneeled down to Draco’s height again.
“Draco, I know you and Y/N are best friends and I just want you to know that I would never hurt her. It’s obvious that you care about you and want to protect her and I appreciate that. I’m glad Y/N has you as her best friend and I want you to know that I will do my best to take care of her as well.” He said and I smiled. Draco stuck his head up slightly, but a small smile was on his lips.
“I will always be Y/N’s number one.” He said and I giggled. Damon chuckled and nodded.
“I know you will.” He said and Draco smirked. Damon held out his hand and Draco looked at it for a moment before shaking it. I smiled as Damon walked off to my Mother and looked back to Draco who was already smiling at me.
“He’s good to me, Draco. He’s like the Dad I always wanted.” I said and his smile grew.
“I’m happy for you, love.” He said and gently held my hand. This was the best day of my life. I finally got a Dad. I finally have a complete family.
Warnings: Mentions of James Potter’s death, crying, panic attack, should be it!
Y/N: Your Name
Y/N/N: Your Nickname
PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!
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I ended up spending the rest of my birthday locked in my room. I couldn’t believe my Father was dead! He should have never left! He should have been right here with me and my Mother! Then I wouldn’t be spending my birthday in my room crying and staring at the only picture I have of him… I spent the next morning locked in my room, refusing to come out. I just wanted my Father…
“Y/N?” My Mother called as she knocked on my door. I didn’t answer, just stared at the picture of my Father.
“Y/N darling?” She asked as she opened my door. I heard her sigh and close the door. Her quiet footsteps made their way to my bed and she gently sat next to me.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N…” She said. I peeled my eyes away from the picture and looked at my Mother who was frowning at me.
“I should have told you sooner, I’m so sorry.” She said.
“It’s not your fault…” I said quietly.
“It is. I was the one who came up with the deal, if I didn’t offer Lily to him he would have been here with us.” She said. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my Mother, hugging her tightly.
“I don’t blame you, Mum.” I said and she held me closely to her.
“I love you so much, Y/N. I should have-”
“I love you too, Mum.” I cut off whatever she was going to blame on herself again. We sat in silence for a bit, just hugging each other. I pulled away first and reached to grab the picture of my Father. I stared down at him with a sad smile.
“Do you still want to go to the party tonight?” She asked and I nodded.
“Are you sure? I’m sure the Malfoys will understand if you don’t.” She said.
“I wanna see Draco.” I said and she smiled.
“Alright, then we better get ready.” She said and I smiled brightly.
My Mother helped me get dressed in a red puffy dress, gold shoes, a birthday crown that my Grandfather got me, and a diamond bracelet that my Mother got me. She smiled down at me and kissed my head. She went to get ready and then we were off to the party!
When my Mother and I arrived at the Malfoy’s Manor, Draco’s parents were in the foyer to greet each guest.
“Arabella! Y/N! We’re so happy you made it!” Narcissa said as she hugged and kissed my Mother’s cheek.
“Narcissa, Lucius, thank you so much for doing this.” My Mother said.
“Of course! Y/N is practically like our own daughter.” Lucius said.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy.” I greeted and they each smiled at me.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.” Narcissa said.
“Thank you!” I said.
“Dobby! Go fetch Draco, tell him Y/N has arrived.” Lucius ordered the house elf.
“Yes Master!” The timid elf said and rushed to find the Malfoy heir.
“Draco’s been so excited to see you again, he hasn’t stopped talking about your party since last night.” Narcissa said.
“Y/N’s been very excited to see Draco again.” My Mother said. It wasn’t long until Draco entered the room with a smile on his face.
“Y/N! Happy Birthday!” He excitedly said as he made his way towards me.
“Thank you!” I said as I gave him a huge hug.
“Bella, there’s someone here that I know would love to see you.” Narcissa said with a smirk on her face.
“Oh, well I don’t know, Issa…” My Mother said and looked down at me.
“Draco, why don’t you accompany Y/N during the party?” Narcissa asked her son and he nodded with a smile. He offered me his arm and I gladly took it.
“It’s okay Mum, I’ll be with Draco!” I said happily.
“Are you sure, my little fawn? With everything that happened last night I don’t want to upset you more…” She said, crouching down.
“I’m sure, Mum.” I smiled. My Mother deserved to be happy tonight too.
“Come on, Y/N/N, I wanna show you the decorations!” Draco happily said as he tugged on my arm gently. I giggled and followed him into the ballroom. It was absolutely perfect! There were green and gold decorations littering the ballroom, there were white flowers all around as well. Everything was so perfect I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“Do you like it?” He asked and I nodded in awe.
“It’s amazing, Draco!” I exclaimed.
“I picked it all out just for you! I knew you would love it!” He said excitedly. I giggled and gave him a big hug.
“I don’t want to pry, but do you mind telling me what happened last night?” He asked and I sighed.
“I had an awful birthday, Draco… My Mother had told me that my Father died just a year after I was born and then she gave me a letter he wrote me. He was explaining how he and my Mother made a deal to have me and then they could be with that Muggle-born girl Lily. He talked about how he wanted to meet me one day and how I have a Brother. I cried so hard and my Mother tried to comfort me, but I was so hurt. She mentioned how my Father wanted me to meet my Brother, Harry, but I don’t want to! He’s literally the reason My Father left us!” I huffed.
“I’m sorry, Y/N/N, finding out your Father was killed by the Dark Lord on your birthday must be the worst.” He said with a frown and I furrowed my brow.
“What?” I asked and he looked at me confused.
“My Father was killed by You-Know-Who?” I asked and his eyes widened.
“Y-You didn’t know?” He asked and I shook my head. Tears began to blur my vision and it felt like my throat was closing up. Draco’s eyes widened further and he grabbed my hand.
“How about we go outside for a bit?” He asked and all I could do was nod. Draco led me out to his back porch and gently sat me in the garden chair. Luckily we were the only two out here so I could have peace. I felt my hands start shaking and my head felt like it was slightly spinning. I grabbed my head as I started hyperventilating. Draco stood in front of me and gently grabbed my hands.
“You need to breath, Y/N. In and out.” He gently said. I shook my head as the tears fell harder.
“C-Can’t…” I whispered.
“Just like this… In… Out…” He said, guiding me through breathing normally again. I tried my best to follow his instructions, but it was so hard. Draco kept gently whispering to me about how I should breath as he gently brushed his thumb on the back of my hands. It took a bit for my tears to finally stop and my breathing to return to normal. I looked up at Draco and he was looking down at me worriedly.
“I’m alright…” I said, quietly.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N/N, I thought you knew.” He said and I took a deep breath. I shook my head and smiled at him.
“Thank you for telling me, Dray.” I said and squeezed his hands.
“Let me make it up to you, come with me!” He said and pulled me along with him. The two of us rushed through the ballroom and over to a large table that held all the gifts for me. Draco looked over them and picked up a small, very expensive looking box.
“Here, this one’s mine!” He said, practically bouncing up and down. I giggled and smiled at the small box that was wrapped in dark green with gold polka dots and a silver bow keeping it all together.
“Draco Lucius, Malfoy! What do you think you’re doing?” Narcissa scolded as she walked up to us, along with my Mother and a man I’ve never seen.
“I-I made Y/N upset because I told her what happened to James Potter and I didn’t know that she didn’t know… I just wanted to make her feel better!” Draco said, nervously looking up at his Mother.
“That wasn’t your information to tell!” Narcissa hissed and Draco bowed his head.
“Don’t be so hard on him, Issa, I should have told her…” My Mother said and I looked up at her with wide eyes.
“You knew?” I asked, feeling tears prick my vision again.
“Oh my little fawn…” She kneeled down and gently grabbed my arm.
“I did know, but I didn’t know how to tell you. How was I supposed to tell you that your Father was murdered by…” She trailed off and I bit my lip.
“What else are you keeping from me?” I whispered and her eyes widened slightly.
“Nothing, Y/N, I promise you. There is nothing else to tell you regarding your Father and your Brother.” She said and I took a deep breath. I held up my pinky and gave her a small smile.
“Promise?” I asked and she smiled. She wrapped her pinky around my smaller one and held it tightly.
“I promise.” She said and pulled me in for a hug.
“Y/N, happy birthday!” The man said, also crouching down to my level.
“T-Thank you.” I smiled, feeling slightly nervous around him.
“Y/N, this is Damon Horn.” My Mother introduced the man.
“Hello.” I smiled and he returned it. He pulled out a red box with a silver bow wrapped around it and held it out to me.
“I got you something. Your Mother told me you’d like it.” He said and I smiled and took the box from him.
“Thank you!” I said.
“Y/N… I thought you were going to open my gift first?” Draco said and I turned to find him frowning at me.
“Draco! Don’t be rude.” Narcissa said. Draco’s frown deepened and his arms fell to his sides, still holding the little box. I frowned slightly and turned back to the man.
“Sorry, sir, Draco and I always open each other’s gifts first.” I said and my Mother smiled. She took the box from my arms and I smiled.
“Go on my little fawn.” She said and I turned to face Draco who had a smug smirk on my face. He handed me the box and I took it with a grateful smile on my face.
“It’s so lovely, Draco.” I said and gently undid the bow then ripped the paper off. I opened it to find a black velvet box. I opened it and inside was a silver necklace with a little black stone in the middle of a sun.
“Draco, this is amazing!” I said taking the necklace out of the box.
“I have the matching one!” He said and pulled out a little silver moon with the same black stone in the middle. I smiled and held up the necklace to him.
“Will you put it on for me?” I asked. He smiled and took the necklace from me and I turned around, moving my hair out of the way for him. He placed the necklace around me and locked it into place. I smiled down at the little pendant and turned back to face Draco.
“It’s enchanted too! When you hold it up to your eye and look into the stone you can see the stars!” He said and I smiled.
“It’s amazing! I love it so much! Thank you!” I said and hugged him tightly.
“You’re welcome, I knew you would love it!” He said and I giggled.
“I do, it’s amazing!” I said. I turned back to my Mother and held up the little sun to show her.
“Isn’t it amazing, Mum?” I asked and she smiled.
“It’s so amazing.” She said and I beamed and looked back down at the sun.
“Why don’t you open Damon’s gift now?” She asked and offered me the box.
“It won’t be as good as mine.” Draco grumbled.
“Draco!” Narcissa scolded.
“It’s alright, Narcissa. He’s probably right.” Damon laughed and Draco narrowed his eyes at him slightly. He came closer and stood next to me. I took the gift from my Mother and gently opened the box. I took the lid off the box and found two stuffed deer inside. I gasped and took them out. One was a stag and the other was a doe, they were my favorite animals of all time. It was one of the few facts I had learned about my Father of the years and I clung to it. They were forever going to be my favorite animals.
“I love them! Draco look!” I said and held them out for him to see. He smiled at me and nodded.
“They’re very cute.” He said and I turned to my Mother.
“Mummy! Look! Look!” I said and she laughed.
“I see them, my little fawn. They’re amazing.” She said and I hugged them closely. My Mother and Damon stood up and he placed his hand on my Mother’s waist.
“Thank you, Mr. Horn!” I said and he smiled down at me.
“You’re welcome, sweetie.” He said and gently pulled my Mother closer to him. I looked at them for a moment and smiled slightly.
“You like my Mother!” I said and her eyes widened.
“Y/N!” She said and I looked at her confused.
“I do like your Mother, quite a lot.” He answered and I smiled.
“Do you like him, Mum?” I asked and she bit her lip.
“Y/N, darling…” She trailed off.
“You do!” I said and held the stuffed deer closer to me.
“Y/N, it’s… complicated…” She said.
“Y/N, your Mother and I have been seeing each other for a little while now and she was worried about how you would feel about this.” Damon said and my Mother’s eyes widened.
“Are you happy, Mummy?” I asked and she looked down at me then back at Damon.
“I am.” She said and I smiled brighter.
“Yay! I’m happy for you Mum.” I said and she smiled down at me.
“Thank you, my little fawn.” She said.
“Draco, why don’t you take Y/N to see your friends?” Narcissa suggested.
“Okay!” Draco said with a smile. I held up the stuffed deer to my Mother, who took them with a smile.
“Come on, Y/N/N!” Draco said and pulled me along with him.
For the rest of the party, Draco and I spent it with our friends. We danced, ate some snacks, drank a few drinks, and played some games. When dinner came we were all together at one table while the adults were at all the other tables. It was all so perfect and soon it was time for cake. The house elves brought out a large three tiered cake. The first layer was green with black and gold paint like stripes around them. The second one was also green, but with nothing on it, and the last layer was plain white. They had white flowers and a white chocolate ring resting on the bottom layer. It was so amazing! They had also brought out green and white rose cupcakes with gold leaves on them. It was all so perfect! They set the cake in front of me and I smiled so wide that my cheeks hurt.
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Y/N, happy birthday to you!” Everyone sang and I pulled Draco closer to me.
“One, two, three!” I said and the two of us blew out the candles together. Everyone clapped and some had taken pictures. They took the cake away and returned not long with a large piece that Draco and I shared. Yesterday may have been the worst birthday I had, and today wasn’t as perfect as it could be, but Draco always knew how to make me feel better. He made this birthday party amazing, just like he always did.
PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!
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My Mother was the absolute best Mother in the world, except when it comes to my Father. All I know about him was that he left us before I was born for another woman… My Mother said it was part of a deal they had made, but it still upset me that he would do that to my Mother. I wanted so badly to meet him, but something told me that I never would… It was my 7th birthday today and I was excited since my Mother said she had a surprise for me.
“Y/N! Please come down here!” My Mother called and I smiled.
“Coming!” I called back and rushed down the stairs. I walked into the den and smiled at my Mother.
“Happy birthday, my little fawn.” She said with a large smile. My smile grew at the mention of my nickname. She had always called me her little fawn, said it had something to do with my Father. She would never explain further than that.
“Thank you, Mother.” I said. She motioned me to sit on her lap and I did. She held me close and kissed the top of my head.
“Here, this is a letter from your Father, he wrote it after you were recently born and I wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand…” She said with a sigh. My eyes widened at the mention of my Father and I couldn’t help the smile that crept its way onto my face. I went to reach for the letter, but she pulled it out of my reach.
“I need you to know something before you read this.” She said and I nodded, unable to peel my eyes away from the letter.
“Your Father, James Potter, he died a year after you were born… I didn’t know how to tell you, so I didn’t… I’m so sorry…” She said and I snapped my head to look at her.
“My Dad is… dead?” I asked, feeling tears prick my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N, but this letter will explain everything.” She said and finally handed me the letter. I hopped off her lap and sat on the floor. I took a deep breath and opened the letter.
To my beautiful daughter,
Y/N I know you’re probably angry with me, since I’m sure your Mother told you of our deal, but know it had nothing to do with you. Your Mother and I were being forced to marry each other and neither of us enjoyed that. Your Mother is actually the one who came up with the deal, but back then I never knew how hard it would be to leave my child… I alway knew it was coming since my heart belonged to Lily, but I never thought about how it would affect you. The day I left your Mother she told me that I couldn’t see you and it broke my heart. I thought about you everyday and when your Mother sent me a picture of you, my heart broke even more. You are so beautiful and perfect and I never get to know who you’ll become. I thought having a child with Lily would help me cope with the fact I’d never see you, but nothing could ever help that feeling. As much as I love Lily and our son, Harry, you are still my daughter and I hope one day we’ll get to meet. I love you so much, and please don’t hate your Mother or me for this. We were simply doing what we had to. Just know that I love you and I always will.
Your Father, James.
I felt tears rolling down my face and I looked up at my Mother who also had a single tear fall from her eye. I dropped the letter and ran into her arms. She held me tightly and rubbed my back as I cried.
“Who’s Lily and why did he leave us for her?” I asked once I was calm enough.
“Lily was a girl we went to school with, James was obsessed with her and his family didn’t like that. She wasn’t a Pure-blood which is why we were married by our parents.” She answered and I scrunched up my nose.
“He left us for a mudblood!” I said, annoyed.
“Y/N! We do not use that word.” My Mother scolded.
“Sorry…” I said, hanging my head. Draco had always told me that’s what we call people that weren’t pure.
“Sometimes I hate you being around those Malfoys…” My Mother sighed.
“But Draco’s my best friend!” I said and she smiled slightly.
“I know my little fawn, I know.” She said.
“Dad had another kid…” I said and my Mother sighed again.
“I know, Harry.” She said and my head shot up.
“You knew!?” I asked with wide eyes.
“Yes, I read the letter when it came and James had sent me a picture of his son. He wanted you to know you have a brother, but I can’t just take you to meet him.” She answered.
“I don’t want to meet him! He might as well be the reason he left! Him and that Lily girl! Dad could have been happier with us and he would have been alive!” I shouted, shocking my Mother. I ran off to my room and cried my eyes out. This is the worst birthday ever!
Request: Yes / No I won’t be putting the request in because it gives away the story, but this was requested by @loxbbg Thank you so much I love this idea so much!
Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night
Draco Malfoy x Fem!Potter!Reader (Eventually)
James Potter x OC Arabella Renaud
Harry Potter x half-sister!Reader
Word count: 1966
Warnings: Kind of sad?
Y/N: Your Name
A/N: This will be a series because this request is long and I have so many idea for this!
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“You can’t be serious, Father!” Arabella said, looking at her Father with wide eyes.
“I know you don’t want this, but for the good of this family.” Her Father said with a sigh.
“But why?” She cried out. Her Father sighed once again and shook his head.
“Darling, we must regain the status this family once had and we can’t risk you choosing a partner that is less than perfect.” He said and she groaned.
“Yes I know Father, but I thought this wouldn’t happen until after I graduated, not now!” She said, frantically. Her Father looked at her with apologetic eyes, while her Mother stayed behind him, rolling her eyes at her daughter’s dramatic behavior.
“Can’t we just wait till after I finish with school?” She begged. She hardly ever asked anything of her parents, but this was something she desperately didn’t want to happen, at least not right now. For Salazar’s sake she’s only a child! She still had two years of Hogwarts left! Her Father shook his head and her shoulders slumped.
“The only reason it’s this soon is because the Potter family wish for their son to be married as soon as possible.” He answered.
“I’m sorry, Potter? I’m being married off to James Potter?” She asked in disbelief.
“Yes!” Her Mother snapped at her.
“Is there something wrong with that?” She added with a glare.
“Yes! He’s a bloody Gryffindor! How could you two possibly be alright with me marrying a Gryffindor?” Arabella practically shouted.
“Watch your tone, first off. Second, the Potter boy is just what we need for the public eye to trust our family again.” Her Father said and she sighed.
“Why do I have to pay for the mistakes the two of you made?” She asked.
“Mistake? Mistake! The only mistake here is you! The Dark L-”
“That’s enough!” Conrad shouted, cutting his wife, Starla off.
“We agreed that following He Who Must Not Be Named was a mistake! It put our daughter at risk and we would not continue following down that dark path!” He said and she glared at him.
“Get out, we’ll finish this conversation without you.” He ordered and his wife gladly left the room.
“Bella, I know you don’t wish to marry this boy and you are correct, you are paying for our mistakes, but it’s for the good of this family.” He said. Arabella was silent for a moment before she looked up at her Father with a sigh.
“Does he know he’s marrying me?” She asked.
“If he doesn’t, he will soon. Why?” He asked.
“He’s not exactly a fan of Slytherins. There is no possible way he’ll agree to this.” She said. She conveniently left out the part where he was head over heels in love with Lily Evans.
“I don’t believe he’ll have a choice in the matter.” Her Father said.
“I doubt his parents would force him to do something he didn’t want.” She said
“They are, they believe he’s choosing someone that is… unacceptable for their son.” He said.
“You mean Lily, the Muggle-born Gryffindor he’s absolutely in love with.” She said, causing her Father to sigh.
“Yes, they don’t want him with her because…”
“Because she’s not a Pure-blood.” Arabella finished her Father’s thought.
“Yes, you’re more acceptable for them.” He said and she sighed.
“Right…” She said, rolling her eyes.
“Arabella.” Conrad said, wishing to gain his daughter’s attention. She looked up at him and he gave her a small smile.
“This is much sooner than either of us wanted, but I believe it’s the best option. The Potter boy may hate all Slytherins, but from what I’ve heard, he’s never been rude or mocked you. This is better than I could wish for you, considering all this You Know Who business. I will not call off this betrothal, but I want you to be happy. Preferably with your future husband, James Potter.” He said and she nodded, understanding her Father’s wishes.
“Are you telling me that I may not have to marry him?” She asked, slight hope in her voice.
“I’m saying that we need an heir.” He said and she smiled. She hugged her Father tightly and he hugged her back with a large smile.
“Thank you, Daddy!” She said. He kissed her head as they pulled apart.
“Like I said, I just want you to be happy.” He said.
*Three Months Later*
Arabella had returned to school and was told by her Father to seek out James Potter. Luckily for her, he was alone in his compartment. He looked up at her with wide eyes and a nervous smile as she took a seat.
“I’m sure your parents informed you of our situation.” She said and he nodded.
“And I’m sure, much like me you weren’t happy.” She continued and he once again nodded with a sigh.
“Well, I’d like to make you a deal, Potter.” She said, peeking the boy’s interest.
“What sort of deal?” He asked, warily.
“I don’t want to marry you and you don’t want to marry me… So, you will get me pregnant so my family has an heir and then you’re free to be with that Evans girl you’re so fond of.” She said and his eyes widened.
“But what about our parents?” He asked.
“My Father is actually the one who gave me the idea, he wants to see me happy and no offense, but marrying you will not make me happy.” She said and James chuckled.
“None taken… wait, so you’ll just let me be with Lily as long as you have a child?” He asked and she nodded.
“My Father wants an heir that will change our reputation, having your name will do that.” She said and he thought for a moment.
“We’d still have to get married.” The boy pointed out and she sighed.
“Just until we have a child then you can be with Lily for the rest of your life. Though, I can’t promise that some people won’t find out you left me and I can’t ruin my family reputation anymore by saying I let you.” She said and he nodded, thinking of the pros and cons of her offer.
“You have yourself a deal, Arabella.” He said, holding his hand out with a smile. She returned the smile and gladly shook his hand.
“Then once we’re married we’ll start trying for a child. I must be sure I’m pregnant before you go off with Evans.” She said and he nodded.
“I understand, you’ll get your heir.” He said and she smiled.
“Never thought I’d be happy about having a child this young.” She laughed.
“Yeah, me either.” James joined in.
The two vastly different children may not be friends, but they each understood each other, given the situation they were forced into. Arabella was just lucky her Father was kind to her and that he wouldn’t be angry as long as she got the heir and Potter name she needed. She was sure her Mother would be furious that the Potter boy had left her, but she honestly didn’t care. Her Mother had changed during her time with the Dark Lord and they were lucky enough to escape with their lives. Arabella was a bit skeptical of the fact that the Dark Lord would just let them go, but she was honestly too scared to question it at all. She just wanted her family to be safe and normal again, but that was probably a bit much to ask for.
As soon as the last year of Hogwarts ended Arabella and James Potter were married. James Potter had convinced his parents to wait until after school to marry the two and given that the boy had suddenly become very complacent with his parents wishes, they complied. Before the ink could even dry on their marriage certificate, Arabella and James were trying for a baby. It took them a bit longer than either of them had liked to conceive, but it untimely happened after a year. The two were relieved when they got the news, they honestly couldn’t stand being together anymore. They weren’t fighting or angry with each other, but James was upset that he wasn’t able to be with his true love and Arabella was upset she couldn’t even look for hers. They waited a bit after Arabella had confirmed the pregnancy before they quietly got a divorce. James had quickly packed all his things and said goodbye to his now ex-wife. He hugged her tightly and even gave her a kiss on her forehead, surprising the girl.
“Thank you, Arabella.” He whispered before he pulled away.
“I believe I should be thanking you.” She said as she placed a hand gently on her small bump. James chuckled and placed his hand over hers.
“I hate to leave you alone with a child, but-”
“Don’t.” She cut him off.
“This is what we agreed on. I’ll be fine on my own with our child, just go be with Evans.” She said and he smiled a bit more at the mention of Lily’s name.
“Will you have the baby keep my name?” He asked and she thought for a moment.
“I believe I have to, that way my family name won’t be left in the mud.” She said and he sighed.
“Right, well at least tell her about me?” He asked and she sighed, shaking her head.
“I don’t want to get her hopes up on meeting you, James. Our story is that you left me for Evans.” She said and James frowned.
“You’re telling me that I won’t ever see my child?” He asked, shocked.
“How did you think this was going to go? That I would just bring our child over whenever you wanted? Or that you would come back here to see him or her?” She asked and James shrugged.
“I-I don’t know, but I didn’t think I’d never be able to see them! I mean, it is my child.” He said and she sighed.
“James, our story won’t be believable if you see them. They’ll know you exist, obviously, but-”
“Tell them about our deal, that way they won’t hate me.” He begged. She gave him a small smile and nodded.
“Fine, but you still won’t be able to see them.” She said and he nodded, sadly.
“Then, this is goodbye, Arabella.” He said and she smiled.
“Goodbye, James. Have a good life with Lily.” She said and hugged him one last time. James took a deep breath and left behind the woman he came to love, not in a romantic sense, but still loved, and his unborn child…
*March 23rd, 1980*
Arabella heard the cries of her newly born baby as she panted in the hospital bed. She was tired from pushing the small child out of her and the potions the doctors had given her were making her even more so.
“Miss Potter, it’s a girl.” The doctor said as he handed her baby to her. The woman smiled down at her new bundle of joy and bit her lip. She had James’ eyes and nose… It hurt her heart knowing that this baby would never know her Father, but she was determined to give this girl an amazing life.
“What would you like to name her?” A nurse asked, holding the birth certificate.
“Y/N. Y/N Potter.” Arabella answered with a smile. The name fit the girl perfectly. Y/N, after her Grandmother. Arabella kissed the small girl’s head and held her close. Y/N Potter was now her reason to live. Y/N Potter was the reason Arabella’s younger brother could freely marry whoever he chose. Y/N Potter was the savior of the Renaud family.
i swear i’ll write some more later, but happy birthday james. you, who inspired me to be brave and fight for my loved ones. you, who was the definition of never giving up. and you, who always chased your dreams.
here’s a bunch of headcanons n kinda angsty plot! pls enjoy ♡
- before lily started liking james, special occasions were the days that she tolerated him a lot more.
- and this applies to his birthday. the marauders make a big deal of everyone’s birthday in their group, so how could she not know it was his birthday?
- and so, every year, when it was james’ birthday, he learned to look forward to lily saying happy birthday. and despite her best efforts to not acknowledge it, lily’s heart fluttered when james’ eyes lit up.
- before hogwarts, james’ parents baked him a quidditch-themed cake every year. how could they not? james was obsessed.
- sometimes it’d be a cake with the field, others it would be a snitch, etc.
- during fifth year, though, things were different.
- every year, james would be surrounded by his friends. but what if The Prank happened before james’ birthday? (it fits in the time frame perfectly :3c)
- sirius was off to god knows where more than half the time. james noticed, of course he did. sirius didn’t spend much time in the great hall, in their dorm, etc, and he’d always bring the map with him. he knew sirius did something terrible, but he also knew that sirius felt extremely guilty.
- but he didn’t want to ask too much from anyone. because remus just had his trust broken, and sirius felt terrible, and peter was on remus’ side because it was remus who he was friends with first.
- so, during fifth year on his birthday, he didn’t want to mention anything. he woke up early and disappeared into the room of requirement that same day.
- it was lily who found him first, actually. james barely had any clue of how long he’d been in the room, but he’d been sleeping for most the day. the other half the time, he was doing work or reading about quidditch.
- “i had a suspicion you’d be here, potter.”
- james would never admit it, but he jumped. unknowingly to him, lily visited the room of requirement almost as much as he did. it was a good place to get away from her thoughts, and her visits increased tenfold as it neared the end of the school year. she didn’t want to go back home to petunia.
- “oh, hey evans,” james would try to be casual. it didn’t work on lily.
- the two sat down and talked. for lily, it was an eyeopener to james’ more sensitive personality. and i’m a sucker for remus and lily’s friendship, so lily knows of his furry little problem. and of what happened with the whomping willow.
- and for james, it was the first time he truly let himself be more vulnerable with her. he liked lily, and it was clear as day to anyone, and it hurt getting rejected, but he didn’t mind chasing (ha). he didn’t really know how to be himself around her, but he was learning.
- james tells lily how he saved snape. lily knew that james was a decent person, but it just reinforces it. it was at that point lily understood that even though james bullied snape, at the very end, he wouldn’t allow anyone to die.
- and james tells lily about how he didn’t want to bother his friends. he tells her about how sirius was purposely avoiding everyone because he knows that remus doesn’t want to talk to him. he tells her how he knows sirius feels terrible and that if he had a choice, he wouldn’t ever do it again. he tells her how he doesn’t want to force his friends to be together and talk to each other for his sake.
- most importantly, he tells her that even though he misses how the marauders were, how he knows everyone is traumatized from the event, he tells her how he was trying to be strong too.
- it continues opening things up for lily. this was james’ best friend and brother. sirius and james had an unbreakable bond, and everyone knew that. and sirius was like a phantom, barely to be seen, and remus was coping with his trust being broken. he knows everyone was struggling. but he was too.
- james has nightmares, sometimes. about not being able to save snape and remus having to be exiled. of not knowing about it. of hesitating for a split second. he hadn’t told any of the marauders that, but lily was… lily was lily. and james felt like time stopped when it came to her. he felt safe.
- and james confesses that he doesn’t want to talk about it either because he knows that peter and remus and sirius all have nightmares about it too. he can see it in the dark circles under their eyes. he can see it in the way sirius can’t look anyone in the eye. he can see it in the way remus couldn’t focus on anything he read, constantly rereading a page over and over. he could see it in the way where peter used to study, but lacked any motivation to do so anymore.
- he didn’t want to bother him.
- and lily’s heart clenches for him. because he was a boy that she painted to be so bright and arrogant. he carried himself with confidence and was a natural genius. but she sees him a bit more, now. james potter, someone who seemed so simple to understand before, was now a lot more complex.
- he was empathetic for his friends. he carried the brave face, a shit-eating grin, but he was observant about the tiny things. he was passionate and loved his friends more than anything, and was extremely loyal.
- and lily’s heart swells some more.
- “i think we all have problems right now, james.” lily starts, her hand bringing james’ face towards her. it was the first time she ever addresses him by his name. “i think everyone in the marauders misses what you guys had before. yes, what sirius did was… terrible, frankly, but he feels bad for it. and maybe you guys can’t solve your problems now, but you guys will. because your friend group is strong. but they miss you. sirius was at the great hall for breakfast and lunch today, and he was carrying around a bulk which i can only assume is a present. peter had some snacks, but he started eating them because he couldn’t find you and got anxious. (james snorted, and lily grinned.) remus was holding a quidditch book, i think, and one of those honeyduke chocolate bars that you guys always seem to buy out the entire stock of before i get there. they miss you. things are tense, but you guys are the marauders.”
- and james nods. he didn’t notice, but his head had leaned into lily’s touch. they were still in that position before lily ends up hugging him.
- james thinks about how small and warm she was against him. he thinks about the scent of her hair, the pretty flush on her cheeks, and the way he felt like he could spill everything to her.
- lily thinks about the toned body of james, not in a perverted way (maybe a little in a perverted way), but in a way where it was reassuring and steady and made her feel safe. she thinks about how he smelt like broom oil and a faint scent of cinnamon.
- after james’ birthday, their banter was more friendly. until the snape incident, where he called her a mudblood. james was defensive over lily, but lily didn’t want to talk to him.
- it was understandable. she just lost her childhood friend after realizing what people had been warning her about was right. and lily tried blaming james for a while, because it was his fault that he egged snape on, but she never had the heart to do so. because what best friend would call you a slur? what best friend wouldn’t stop hanging out with people who made them uncomfortable for good reason?
- come sixth year. by james’ birthday, lily and james were friends again. their banter returned to being playful, but they weren’t close. james had slowly ceased his flirting and pranking.
- lily couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why he changed, but she was happy. she didn’t have to feel bad about rejecting him. the pranks that james did still pull were funny, but it never went to the extent like it used to.
- maybe it was the war upcoming. students in hogwarts, no matter their year, seemed a lot more solemn now than before. everyone was on edge, and for good reason.
- and come seventh year. at that point, their friendship was the complete opposite of first year. because now, lily knew she was head over heels for james fleamont potter. and james knew that he was in love with lily.
- that’s when he’d ceased the flirting almost completely. because he was in love with her, and he realized that rejection hurt a lot more than before. so he kept his feelings to himself, although anyone with eyes could see just how much he loved her.
- on this birthday, there was a party. well, there was a party often, especially during birthdays, but this party marked their turning point.
- firewhiskey, muggle alcohol (who dared to sneak that in? probably remus.), butterbeer. there were tons of illegal substances, but who was stopping them? not the head boy and girl, of course.
- by the end of the party, most people had passed out in the common room. james and lily had retreated to the boys bedrooms (james knew better than to try climbing the girls side again), and they were a little drunk. liquid courage, amirite?
- it was tense, actually. they’d been on the brink of confessing their love for each other for ages, except james didn’t know that lily felt the same way. but james felt tense too, because he was scared to confess his feelings impulsively and scare lily off.
- it was lily who initiated the first kiss. james was probably talking about the future, how when he was smaller, he’d always wanted to be a quidditch player, but now he was going to be an auror. and lily just took a fistful of his shirt and pulled him in to kiss him.
- because he was just talking so much with those kissable lips, and lily couldn’t contain herself.
- and james looked frazzled, but it was a good kind. he pulled lily back in and kissed her, and he cheekily whispered, “hey, it’s not midnight yet. we could have birthday sex.” because he was a fool who was just a tad bit drunk and he was in love with her and she just kissed him.
- lily smacked his head, obviously, but kissed him again.
- they announced that they were dating the next day (but they both heard a few whispers, because “weren’t they dating already?”)
James has been writing mystery novels for seven years, under a pseudonym, and for a bit more than a year, he’s known he’s been living across the hall from his biggest fan, Lily Evans. But Lily has an idea that’s going to pull the rug out from under him.
A Jily Muggle AU.
Pseudonym
James looked at the final cut on his screen, reading the ending of his sixth book one more time before the printer would start cutting copies.
A bullet hit Ravi’s vest, leaving him gasping for breath. He tried to push past the jolt being shot gave him and get his head back in the game.
Then he realized the shots had stopped coming at them.
“Clear!” Nick called from over where the gunshots had been coming, frowning at the two lifeless forms on the ground.
Ravi stood and slid another magazine into his .45, not wanting to be caught unarmed having already avoided a close miss.
“Everyone alright?” Nick asked as he found the lights.
“Arora, did you take a hit?” One of the officers approached Ravi.
“I’m alright, hit my vest.”
Nick nodded. “Let’s get medical out here and have one look at you. These two aren’t with us anymore.”
Ravi looked around the warehouse. It was going to take ages to sort all of this evidence; he’d never seen so much cocaine. He should probably take the break while it was available, even if he didn’t think he needed it.
“On it.”
After a quick look over by an EMT, Ravi got confirmation of what he already knew; he was going to have a massive bruise and some sore days ahead, but at least he wasn’t dead. He moved to go help with the evidence when his favorite voice called out his name.
“Ravi!”
All his exhaustion and pain seemed to fade as he saw her.
“Sarah.” He smiled at the beautiful woman on the other side of the yellow tape and moved closer to her. “Getting your inside scoop for tomorrow’s paper?”
“Just happened to be nearby.” She winked at him. “And someone showed me how to use a police scanner.”
“What a great guy.” Ravi looked around before leaning in closer. “A great guy would also like you to know that if you finish that article before sunrise, he’d be happy to point you to a place with the best apple pie.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sarah laughed. “And let you get back to work.” She waved her fingers at him before moving towards the EMTs and Ravi moved back to the crime scene, grinning.
If he’d realized anything after getting shot, it was that soon, he needed to tell Sarah how he felt about her.
But tonight, he’d focus on wrapping up this case and keeping Grandville safe for its citizens.
“Well,” James paused, “I think it’s ready.”
James sent the go-ahead to Sirius for his next Grandville Mystery installment to hit the presses and then shut down his writing laptop, tucking it safely away so no one would find it. That way no part of James’ life could get mixed up with that of F. J. Pearson’s.
James had been writing as F. J. Pearson for seven years and churned out five fast-paced mystery novels in that time. His speed with finishing the novels had been steadily increasing, having managed a book per year for the last three. He was at the point where he was seriously considering quitting his day job of writing physics textbooks and writing mystery novels full time.
But even if he made that jump, James was determined to keep a good amount of distance between himself and F. J. Pearson. It wasn’t exactly a state secret but only Sirius knew that James was a published mystery writer and only because he was James’ agent and editor. Sirius’ silence on the matter was guaranteed when James threatened to never write a novel again if Sirius let it slip who F. J. Pearson really was.
James chuckled as he remembered the two in the morning phone call that came after he’d sent Sirius his first manuscript asking to know if it was any good.
“Where do you come off?”
“Sirius?” He had groggily tried to register his best friend’s phone call.
“Don’t BS me, James, did you pay someone to write this?”
“What are you on about?”
“The book, James! Ravi! Grandville! Did you write it or did you pay someone? This is important, James!”
“I wrote it, Sirius,” James groaned and sat up in bed. “Every word is mine.”
“What in the world are you doing working with Remus on textbooks?! I read books for a living and I could not put this thing down!”
“So, it’s ok?” James had felt the embers of hope start to glow in his chest.
“No it’s not ok,” James could hear Sirius roll his eyes, “It’s brilliant! Call in sick to work in the morning and meet me at my office at 9. You’re a mystery author, James, not a science textbook bore!”
Sirius had hung up the phone before James could answer. By the next morning, James had received a bunch of instructions from Sirius on how to edit his manuscript as well as a pending agreement with Sirius’ main publisher.
Which had started a whole new argument with his brother.
“A pen name?” Sirius laughed and handed James another set of papers to sign. “Why on earth would you want a pen name?”
“I’m not using my given one.”
“What? So you’ll go by Wilberforce?”
“Sirius-”
“Bathsheba?”
“I was thinking Elvendork, seeing as it’s unisex,” James smirked at the laughter he pulled from Sirius.
“James, look-”
“No Sirius, I’m not going to let this affect Dad’s business. The last thing I want is for Sleekeazy to suffer because this book gets terrible reviews.” James stuck a hand in his hair, hoping not to reveal why he was really concerned. In an attempt to keep Sirius from realizing the true reason, James quickly added. “And I absolutely do not want this book to get a lot of attention because I’m the son of Fleamont Potter.”
“Get your hand out of your hair.” Sirius huffed.
“Mum’s not here to get upset at me for it. I don’t know why you feel the need to fill in for her.” James lowered his hand.
“You’re ridiculous you know that?” Sirius had clicked something on his computer, his eyes unseeing, his tone exasperated. James wasn’t sure if Sirius had guessed James’ reason for wanting a penname or was just unhappy not getting his way. “But fine, if it brings your genius into the world, what’s the pen name you’re working under? Because as much as I admire the genius that is Elvendork, this publisher will just assign you something different.”
“F. J. Pearson.”
Sirius turned to stare at him. “For all the imagination it took for you to write this book, you certainly know how to be boring in your name choice. Fleamont James Pearson?”
“Do you want to put the book out there or not?” James threw his hands up in the air.
“Fine. But I’m putting your real city in the author bio.”
James had rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
The pen name gave James anonymity, so he would never cause any sort of negative consequences for Sleekeazy. But James had also reasoned it gave him a way out if his book didn’t sell; no one but him and Sirius would know he’d published a flop, and it could fade into the background of his life.
But oh, how the book sold.
James had been flabbergasted.
Sirius had been insufferably smug.
James’ first book was on the top twenty best sellers list for four weeks straight. James couldn’t believe it. He’d written a book and people were buying it - and liking it. James thought he’d done well, scratched the itch to write something more engaging than a textbook, and maybe someday in twenty years he’d fess up to being F. J Pearson and writing the one successful book he’d published.
But then Sirius had told him to write another.
“There’s a series here, mate.” Sirius had leant back in his office chair and tossed his feet up on his desk.
“It was really just the one book,” James had hedged. “I never intended to write more than one.”
“James, your publisher wants another. They’re getting questions from readers about when your next book is coming out. Your fans want another Grandville Mystery. And when you finish that one, there’ll be questions about another.”
James shook his head. “I don’t even know what will happen next.”
“There’s always one crime or another in a city.” Sirius shrugged. “Pick something other than a jewelry thief and write about that. Oh, and I think you should play up something between Ravi and Sarah. That’ll pull in more readers from the romance genre.”
“Anything else?” He pulled on his hair.
“The sooner the better.” Sirius’ phone had rung then and the conversation ended with James feeling rather put upon.
He’d written one book, why should anyone expect him to write another? He’d never intended to write another.
But the more James had thought about writing a series of stories in Grandville with Ravi, the more he was drawn to the idea…
The second book came easier than the first, and the third easier than that. It had taken time, but James slowly got the hang of it and had learned when to recognize he’d taken the story the wrong way and how to course-correct. He’d grown not just as a writer, but he’d grown into a fully-fledged mystery author.
And now the series wasn’t so little.
As he had written this, his sixth Granville novel, James felt he was just now hitting his stride; once the idea hit, the story didn’t fight so hard to roll from his brain to the keyboard. Now a book a year felt doable. Now he felt ready to quit his day job and write novels full time.
But there was a little complication he hadn’t figured out his way around yet though, and that complication was one of his readers.
Lily Evans was potentially F. J. Pearson’s biggest fan. She wrote to him to thank him for each and every book. She shared all the promotional social media posts he put up for his books. She’d read his five books at least fifty times each. She knew his characters almost as well as he knew them.
Any author would consider Lily the perfect fan. Their best supporter. The kind of reader they could count on to read and love and support their stories.
There was just one problem.
Lily Evans was also James’ next-door neighbor.
She’d moved in a few months after the release of his fourth book, and James had been happy to have a new person across from his flat to share a wall with. He’d grown tired of the last bloke playing folk music turned up to eleven at one in the morning, long before he’d moved out
When James had first seen Lily, he thought he might have died on his way home from the market without realizing it and was now in heaven.
“Hello.” She smiled from her doorway, a folding chair in hand, clearly meant to be brought into her flat. “I’m your new neighbor. Sorry for the noise. I’m just getting a head start on my things before my friends come help with the rest.”
James realized a second too late his hand was in his hair. Thankfully his mum was nowhere in sight. “No, it’s James, I mean, I’m fine, I mean, the noise, it’s fine, I’m James.”
She’d laughed and he’d decided it was his new favorite sound.
“I’m Lily.”
“Do you want help with your things?” James stuck his hand in his pocket and held his breath.
“Are you up for carrying heavy things?” She smirked at him and James felt his heart do a cartwheel.
“What else are neighbors for?”
She bit her lip and smiled and James was sure his heart was going to burst. Ok, so he probably wasn’t dead if that was any indication.
“I’m sure there are other things but today I’ll settle for a lift with the big stuff. These stairs are murder.”
By the time they’d pivoted some overly large pieces of furniture up the twisting stairs, a tentative friendship had been born. James barely managed to somehow not make a fool of himself at every turn - or beg her to go out with him. He spent more time outside now, too, because Lily loved to sit on her balcony, and James’ balcony just so happened to be right next to hers. If they’d both leant towards the other across the railings he’d be close enough to kiss her - not that he was thinking about kissing her.
Not overtly anyway.
He learned to recognize the sound of Lily’s balcony door opening, and there were very few things he wouldn’t stop in the middle of to go sit on the balcony with her. The moments shared across their joined fence made him feel close to her, close with her.
Then one day about a month before his fifth book was to be released, James walked out to his balcony and found Lily relaxing in the patio chair he’d hauled up for her, reading a well-worn paperback book.
“Good evening, Lily.” He’d sat down in the folding chair he kept outside now. “What book is lucky enough to be read by you?”
“One of my favorites, F. J. Pearson’s first Grandville Mystery.” Lily held up her copy of his book with a happy sigh and soft smile. “Have you read them? The fifth book comes out next month and I’m going to re-read the first four before I get my copy of the newest one.”
James’ hand immediately was shoved in his hair and he turned to look away from Lily with his book in her hands. How had he never realized that Lily Evans, his next-door neighbor, was Lily Evans, F. J. Pearson’s biggest fan?
But how would he have guessed? There were a few hundred thousand Evans in the UK, and Lily was reasonably common as well. James had just assumed they were different women. Probably because he never let himself be F. J. Pearson outside of writing the books and doing the small amount of advertising he did. So around Lily, he was always just James Fleamont Potter.
“James?”
Right, she’d asked him a question.
“I’ve, I’ve actually read them, all of them, several times.” He swallowed the bitter taste that accompanied the deliberate half-truth.
“Really?” He could hear the excitement in her voice. “I don’t know anyone I can talk to, outside of the internet anyway, who’s read these. Would you ever want to talk about them?”
James still couldn’t bring himself to look at her as he answered. “Yeah, that would be pretty grand.”
“I see what you did there,” Lily laughed, “Grand in Grandville. Do you care if I go on and on about how perfect Ravi and Sarah are for each other? Because I swear if I don’t get a story where Ravi finally stops goofing around and tells Sarah how he feels I’m going to hunt down F. J. Pearson and ask why they insist on torturing me.”
James pulled hard on his hair. He’d been deliberately dragging that out, mostly because it helped move the mystery plots forward in easy ways. “I think Ravi and Sarah will figure themselves out.”
“I’m sure.” Lily waved the book around, “I just want it to happen already. We’re already four books in! How long do I have to wait for them to get together?”
“I bet it’s just a couple of books away, he probably has it planned out.” He most certainly did not! “Setting things up and all that.”
James swallowed hard. What was he doing?!
“Oh! You think F. J. Pearson is a man?”
James couldn’t help but turn to look at her, his bottom jaw by his shoes. “You think he’s a woman?”
“Well, no, not really,” Lily chuckled, “A woman would have pushed Ravi and Sarah together by now. But the initials don’t tell us what their gender is. They could be a woman.”
James laughed in spite of himself. “I’d bet my next paycheck F. J. Pearson is a man.”
Lily smirked at him from her chair. “If I didn’t agree with you I’d take you up on that bet.”
James smiled over as she laughed, but internally, his mind was screaming at him.
He was an idiot. He should have told her he’d never heard of F. J. Pearson. He should have told her mystery novels weren’t his thing. He should have changed the subject and not come back to it.
But anything that connected him further to Lily was just too tempting. And if they could connect over his books, why not? After all, his own mother didn’t know he wrote novels. He could do this, just be another ordinary reader of his own books, he could do that if it meant he got more time with Lily.
Swallowing his guilt, James hardened his resolve. “So, what sort of crime would you want to see Ravi solve?”
That question had started not only six months’ worth of discussions about his books but had also brought him closer to Lily. They had shifted from friendly neighbors to close friends, hanging out away from their balconies, meeting each other’s mates. It made him hopeful that maybe someday they could be more.
James had even picked Lily’s brain about what she hoped to see in his next book. This had resulted in the book he’d just sent back to Sirius, his sixth installment, being heavily influenced by Lily and her ideas. James was nervous for Lily to read it and see all of her ideas in the book. But he hoped the book would make her smile, and he could enjoy being the reason she smiled, even if it was through a pen name.
James heard the sound of Lily’s balcony door as he tucked away his laptop and grinned. Time to go see a beautiful woman.
“Morning!” Lily smiled at him as she watered her potted flowers.
“Good morning, Lily.” He moved to the railing between their balconies. “How’s your Saturday?”
“Lovely,” she beamed. “I’ve had an absolute stroke of genius!”
“This is not surprising news.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Aren’t you going to ask me what my brilliant idea is?”
“Sure, but I already know it’s going to be the best idea I’ve ever heard.”
Lily laughed as she watered her plants. “I’m going to email F. J. Pearson and ask him to do a public signing and maybe a reading when he releases his next book.”
James blinked, not realizing that his lower jaw was down on the pavement two stories below him.
“See!” Lily laughed, “You’re shocked you didn’t think of it first.”
“He- he- he’s never done any public events before.” James stammered as his brain tried to wrap around Lily’s geniusidea.
There was a very good reason for F. J. Pearson to refrain from public events.
“Just because he hasn’t done any events before now doesn’t mean he won’t. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t think he has the fan base to support it, which now he does. And besides, it never hurts anything to ask.”
“I- I- I- I guess…”
Lily giggled, “I’ll let you know what he says. I’ve got a draft on my phone and I’ll probably send it today.”
“Great.” James realized his hand was in his hair and he pulled on it to try and gain some grip on all the emotions that threatened to bubble over.
“I’ll see you later.” Lily smiled at him, a smile that made him wonder what he’d done to get her to look at him that way. “I’ve got to run.”
“Yeah, have a good Saturday.”
“You too, James.” She slipped into her flat with a little wave of her delicate fingers.
James moved back inside as well and shut his door.
Then he swore.
And swore again.
What was he doing???
He should have never led her to believe he was just another reader. The second he realized that Lily Evans, his next-door neighbor, was the same Lily Evans who shared every social media post that F. J. Pearson posted and sent thank you emails for each and every book he put out, he should have faked a phone call and ran away. He should have stopped after one book and told Sirius and his publisher he wouldn’t turn this into a series. He should have never shown Sirius the first bloody book at all. He should have burned it instead.
He should go open his laptop back up.
James moved back to his bedroom, pulling his writing laptop from under the blankets in the bottom drawer of his desk.
Maybe he’d get lucky and Lily would send the email before she left for her Saturday to-do list and he could see exactly what she was hoping for. Then he’d have the entire day to think of a plan to get himself out of this mess he’d made.
He opened F. J. Pearson’s email and shoved his hand in his hair.
Nothing.
He refreshed the page.
Nothing.
He refreshed the page again.
Nothing.
He swore.
Then his phone rang.
“You can not have read my edits that quickly,” James said as he answered Sirius’ call.
“Tetchy, what’s up?”
James shoved his hand back to untidy locks. “Nothing.”
“So, your hand is not in your hair?” Sirius’ voice was accusing.
“No.” James pulled the offending body part down and sat on it.
“You don’t fool Mum or me you know that right?” Sirius paused. “Really, James, is everything alright?”
James leant back in his desk chair and looked at his computer screen. It would only be a matter of time before he’d have to tell Sirius what he’d done. Might as well get it out of the way now.
“I may have made a mistake.”
“That’s in character.” Sirius snickered.
“Hey!”
“What did you do, James?”
“Lily-”
“Universe, give me strength.”
“She reads my books.”
“Really?” Sirius sounded amused when James wanted him to sound alarmed. “That’s brilliant! So are you going to tell her you’re F. J. Pearson and we can do away with this ridiculous charade along with the two of you dancing around each other?”
James felt his hand creep back up into his hair of its own accord “I’ve actually known she reads my books for almost a year now.”
The line was silent.
“Sirius?”
“I can not believe you right now.”
“I panicked!”
“Is that why this book feels different than the first five?”
“What do you mean?”
“Have you been asking Lily what she wants in your books?”
Crap.
“James?”
“Yes.” He dropped his head to his desk.
Sirius swore. “This is why I told Mum about Lily. This right here. You’re gone for her, mate.”
“Is that why Mum suddenly started bringing me food?! I’m not the son that messes with her recipes! I don’t need her bringing me enough food to solve world hunger every week!“
“Don’t get off topic, she just wants to meet Lily.” Sirius paused. “And tie your hands to your side.”
“I hate you so much, do you know that?”
“No you don’t, but moving back on topic, you lied to Lily, and now we need to find a way for you to tell her you’ve been an idiot, right?”
James went silent, trying to determine how to broach the next problem.
“Why do I think there’s more?”
James could hear Sirius roll his eyes, and he sighed in defeat.
“She’s going to email F. J. Pearson and ask that my next book has an author signing and reading.”
“Well, mate, sounds like you’ve just dug your grave. You’ve fancied this woman for a year and a half and then killed any chance you might have had.”
James swore.
“What were you thinking?”
“I don’t know?!” James lifted his head from his desk. “I thought it would be a way for us to spend more time together. We still weren’t really close when I found out and she was so excited to have someone to talk about my books with, and it worked, we’re, we’re friends now.” James felt his stomach turn at his words. "I should have just pretended not to have known what she was talking about.”
“Why didn’t you just tell her you were the author?” Sirius huffed. “Then she could have freaked out that she lived next door to her favorite author.”
“I don’t know if I’m her favorite author.”
“If she gave you ideas for this book then I’m going to wager you are at least top five.”
“Crap.”
“I repeat. What were you thinking?”
James swallowed. He knew exactly why he hadn’t told her the truth. He couldn’t; not without risking another fiasco. James heard his computer ding and looked up to see an email in his inbox.
From Lily.
“I need to go.”
“She emailed you didn’t she?”
“Yep.”
“Read it to me. I’m your agent and editor and unfortunately, that professional relationship means I need to help get you out of this hole you’ve dug yourself into.”
James shook his head even as his hand moved the mouse to open the email.
“No, I’m not reading a private message to you.”
“Private?” Sirius scoffed. “James, wouldn’t you like help to get out of this one?“ Sirius’ voice softened. "You’ve certainly had your fair share of pulling me out of my stupid situations.”
James swallowed as the mouse hovered over Lily’s email.
“Besides,” Sirius pushed on. “If you’re agreeing to public events, I need to let your publisher know.”
“I’m not agreeing to anything.”
“You’re so hung up on Lily that you lied to her about being F. J. Pearson. I think that’s a fair indication you might inadvertently agree to a public event.”
James groaned.
Why had he told Sirius?
“James,” the teasing had gone completely out of his brother’s voice. “I get it, alright, I get where you were coming from. But you’ve got to fix it if you want any chance with Lily.”
“I know; I just don’t know how. I’ve lied to her for months.”
“Right, that’s a bugger, but if you come clean, tell her it’s you, then maybe she won’t stay mad at you for too long and you can win her back.”
“Relationship advice? From you?”
“Desperate times, mate. Now let’s hear what the dashing Lily Evans has to say.”
James resigned himself and opened the email.
“Dear F. J. Pearson,
I hope you recognize the name, I’m Lily Evans and I’ve written you before. I’m so excited for your sixth book to release! My friend and I have been talking about it a lot and I’ve an idea for it that I hope you’ll consider.
I think a signing for this upcoming book and maybe a reading too would be amazing for your fans! I know you’ve never done a public event before, but I think you’ve got the fan base to support you. At the least, my friend and I would be sitting in the front row.
Kind regards,
Lily Evans”
James dropped his head back down and groaned.
“I mean, she makes some good points,” Sirius chuckled.
James glanced at the screen, hoping a miracle had occurred and the email was gone, and swore when it hadn’t.
“Write her back and tell her you’ll talk to your publisher. She makes some good points and I think we should discuss you coming clean with the world, especially Mum and Dad.” Sirius was back to business. “Then pick a time and tell Lily who F. J. Pearson is.”
“Right.” James swallowed. “I’ll email her back.”
“Don’t worry, James,” Sirius’ voice was worryingly reassuring. “I’ll be there if it starts to tear at the seams, just like you’ve been for me.”
“Thanks, Sirius.” James gave in and let himself mess with his hair, figuring he deserved some slack. “Enjoy your Saturday.’
"You’ve got this, James.” Then the call disconnected.
But he didn’t.
James didn’t have this.
He stared at the screen, his mouse hovering over the word reply.
Maybe he could wait a day.
No. That was more of the kind of thinking that got him into this mess.
Steeling himself, James set his fingers to his laptop keyboard and took a deep breath.
Dear Lily,
First, thank you for all your support of my books. I do get the thank you emails you send and see that you promote my books as well.
I talked to my editor and he thinks it’s worth talking to my publisher. His exact words were, “She makes some good points.” So we’ll see what happens. I’m flattered that you think I have the fan base to support public events.
I hope you have a wonderful Saturday and thank you again.
F.J. Pearson
James read the email twice more before he closed his eyes and hit send. He shut down his laptop immediately, not ready to see if she would email him back or not.
Then his phone chimed with a text.
Lily: He emailed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crap.
He’d officially trapped himself between himself and Lily.
James stuck his hand in his hair and looked down at the message despairingly.
What was he supposed to do now?
His phone chimed again as a screenshot appeared with the email he’d just sent staring back at him.
Lily: See!!!!!
James smiled in spite of the panic that was bubbling just under the surface. Lily had that effect on him.
James: I never doubted your skills.
He fell onto his bed and watched Lily’s typing bubble.
Lily: Want to come scout out location possibilities with me tonight? I don’t want to respond until I can give some good ideas for where he could do a signing.
James’ heart pounded in his ears.
Every bone in his body screamed yes, he absolutely wanted to go with her. But the guilt he felt kept begging him to say no, to not subject himself to the turmoil that being with Lily while he was actively trying to figure out how to tell her the truth was sure to cause.
But it wasn’t begging quite loud enough.
James: I’d love to
Lily: Great! See you at mine at 6?
James: Can’t wait ;)
He tossed his phone on the bed next to him and shoved his glasses up his face to rub his eyes.
It wasn’t so bad, James tried to reason with himself. He could get Lily’s opinion and see the options for himself and have some solid feedback for his publisher when they planned his signing.
James was anxious for the rest of the day, going so far as to consider telling Lily that evening he was F. J. Pearson, though he felt like he needed a better plan than confessing it on her doorstep.
That plan didn’t materialize in his brain before six rolled around.
“James!” Lily opened her door. “Can you believe he emailed me back?!”
James laughed and leant against the wall. “Of course, I can. You’re brilliant, anyone who can’t see that after two seconds of interaction with you is an idiot.”
“Why thank you, Potter,” Lily chuckled as she closed and locked her door. “I didn’t get a chance to eat after I got home. Feel like grabbing something before we go scout out where our favorite author should reserve for his book signing?”
So he was her favorite author.
That thought had James floating for a brief moment.
“James?”
Right, she’d asked him a question.
“Sure, I’m always up for dinner with a beautiful woman.”
“Flatterer,” Lily rolled her eyes and moved down the stairs, James quickly following after her.
Lily drove them to a Greek restaurant that left James wondering if Greek food would be as easy for him to cook as Indian food and if he could possibly have Lily with him for every meal. She was the source of a lot of his anxiety but in a strange paradox, her presence was soothing his nerves.
It was moments like these, sitting across from her at a restaurant as she chatted about work, about her parents’ latest pensioner adventure, and as she teased him for being a rich kid as he paid for their dinner; these moments that made him want this every day, her there with him.
But he knew it wouldn’t, couldn’t happen. Not until she knew who he was. Not until he stopped hiding something so massive from her.
“Where’s our first location then?” James asked as Lily drove them away from the restaurant.
“First I thought we’d look at Flourish and Blotts since they’re a big name. Then I want to see if Tomes and Scrolls looks viable. They’re smaller but cozier too.”
“I like Tomes and Scrolls.” James nodded. “Their staff are nicer too, more helpful.”
“Exactly.” Lily nodded as she turned into the parking lot for Flourish and Blotts. “I’m sure that F. J. Pearson has been to both of these seeing as he lives somewhere in this city, but I thought he’d like a reader’s perspective.”
James swallowed as his guilt started bubbling near the surface for the millionth time that evening.
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”
Flourish and Blotts had all the space in the world, but James was put off by the lack of personality the store had. Every Flourish and Blotts location looked just like this one. Every Flourish and Blotts had stuffy salespeople that were offended if you dared to ask them a question. Every Flourish and Blotts smelled like stale coffee and cardboard boxes. Every Flourish and Blotts felt like a charade.
This was not where he wanted his readers. He’d probably end up in the news as the author that chewed out the staff for being rude to a guest.
“I don’t like,” he said absently as they walked through the store and Lily took notes on her phone.
“What?” Lily looked up at him but James was frowning at the aisles of toys, still caught up in his dislike of the store.
“This isn’t what the readers want. I bet they’d actually kick us out if we went over our allotted time. Could you imagine the news stories? And tonight we cover an author who shouted at bookstore associates .” James spun around to head back to the car. “This won’t work. Let’s go.”
“Hold on.” Lily snagged his arm and pulled him back. “You think F. J. Pearson would have a shouting match with the associates?”
Her words brought James back to reality and he shoved his hand in his hair.
“I, er, I meant that he’d probably find all of this pretentious.” James gestured with the hand that hadn’t snuck to his hair. “And, I, er, well, he writes Ravi as the kind of bloke that isn’t afraid to put pretentious people in their place… So maybe…?”
Lily burst out laughing.
“I never thought of it, but now the image of F. J. Person channeling Ravi and chewing out these associates might be one of my favorite mental images.”
James breathed out in a rush of relief.
“So Tomes and Scrolls?” He made a conscious effort to shove both hands in his pockets.
“Yeah.” Lily pulled her keys from her purse. “I figured that would be the best place anyway. I guess we could look at the library as well but I honestly think it better to do this where people can buy his book and not fight over the ten copies the library will get.”
James laughed. “Our library has that many copies?”
“Only.” Lily shook her head as she unlocked her car. “There are twenty-five copies each of The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings books and only ten of F. J. Pearson’s books. It’s criminal.”
“Tolkien was a genius, Evans.” James jumped to defend one of his favorite authors.
“And F. J. Pearson is just as good, in my opinion.” Lily slipped into her seat and left James gawking over the top of the car.
“Did I break you, Potter?” Lily rolled down the passenger window and smirked at him.
James shook himself, trying to get some level of control over his brain. Lily thought he was just as good as Tolkien. Had he died? He pinched himself. Nope, not dead.
Holy crap.
“Yep.” He figured honesty was just as good as any response. She had rattled him and he was trying not to faint dead away. “I’m coming to terms with this newfound information about you and your biased opinions.” He slipped into the car.
“How on earth is it biased for me to like Pearson more than Tolkien?” Lily’s head tipped back and she laughed.
James felt his throat constrict in panic. He didn’t have an answer that he could actually give her without telling her who F. J. Pearson was.
“Er…” He looked around as Lily drove them towards Tomes and Scrolls and spotted an ice cream parlor. “Oh, hey, want to get Fortescue’s after we finish up at Tomes and Scrolls?”
Lily bit her lip and glanced over at him.
“I’d like that.”
For a moment, James forgot why he’d been panicking.
“Me too.”
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
Lily pulled her laptop out of her bag and pushed the power button as she hummed happily to herself.
It hadn’t really been a date, but it had been a wonderful…not-date.
Whatever. Time with James was always something that Lily looked forward to. Maybe someday she’d be brave enough to risk their friendship and ask him on a date. The time they spent together was nearly dating anyway, but it lacked some of the perks that dating usually entailed.
Kissing for instance…
Lily shook the thought of kissing James away and sat down at her computer with her drink. She needed to get a grip. She had an email to write.
F. J. Pearson probably wasn’t awaiting her email with bated breath, he didn’t even know she was sending it, but Lily wanted to get it out while the experience, and James’ comments, were fresh in her mind. And so she opened her email and set to it.
Dear F. J. Pearson,
I went with my friend I mentioned before, James, to look at a few locations that might work for the event and while Flourish and Blotts had plenty of space, James worried that their high and mighty attitudes might push you to channel Ravi and get into a shouting match with the employees. In the end, we both agree that Tomes and Scrolls would be the ideal place. It could end up with a queue outside the store, but James and I agree that it’s more in line with your fanbase.
I’m attaching some of the pictures I took that show where you could set up and maybe do a reading. I really hope your publisher agrees and public events can become a part of every book release you do. I know James and I wouldn’t be the only fans to block out our calendars for it.
Kind regards,
Lily Evans
There, that sounded normal enough. Lily didn’t want to come off as a stalker to F. J. Pearson, but she also didn’t understand why this author was so insistent on being hidden. His books were bestsellers, he had a solid fandom, there was even fanfiction for Ravi and Sarah for heaven’s sake. He was big. So why hide?
She hit send and then looked at her phone. It was only ten, she could text James and tell him she already emailed Pearson; maybe she could tease him about how she’d included one of the pictures that had James in it. That might buy her an hour or so of conversation with him…
Lily shoved her phone in her pocket.
What was she? Thirteen?
She needed to go to bed, and hope that she didn’t dream about Mister tall, dark, and sexy on the other side of her wall.
It took her two days to manage to reconnect with James. He must have been busy because he didn’t come out on the balcony any of the times she went out to water her plants. She finally saw him when they happened to be coming home at the same time. Well, roughly the same time. She didn’t reallyrun to catch up to James, but she privately admitted to stepping lively to reach him before he walked into their building.
“Potter.” She tapped him on the shoulder. “Fancy meeting you here.”
James gave her a brilliant smile as his hand found his hair. He always seemed annoyed when he caught himself doing it, but Lily found it endearing. She had to grip her purse strap to keep the urge to also tangle her hands amongst the soft-looking strands under control.
“Alright, Evans?” He held the door open invitingly.
“Fine, and yourself?”
James’ hand brushed the small of her back as he followed her in before dropping back to his side. Her back buzzed with electricity and she resisted the urge to step back into him.
“Good, what are you up to this evening?”
“Just dinner.” James followed her up the stairs, the hand that had brushed her back now firmly back gripping his hair.
Was it a nervous habit? Did she make him nervous? Heaven knew he gave her butterflies, maybe she gave them to him too?
Focus, Lily.
“We have that in common, then.”
Lily cringed. Could she manage to be any lamer?
James laughed, “We’re a right pair, Evans, nothing but dinner to occupy us on a weeknight.”
Lily laughed too, trying to figure out if there was any way for their conversation to continue as they approached their respective doors.
“Hey, Lils.” James stopped them at the landing. “I was hoping I could talk to you about something.”
Lily felt her heart beating in her ears. “Sure.”
James tugged a tangled curl of hair and looked down at his shoes as he let out a long breath.
“Well, you see, er, we both like F. J. Pearson’s books-”
“Oh!” Lily suddenly saw her chance to keep them talking. “I sent that email! Pearson hasn’t emailed me back yet though.”
James looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Then he laughed, a shaky sound compared to the deep laugh he usually had for her.
“What a tosser.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “I’m sure he’s just waiting to hear back from his publisher. I sent him the pictures I took.”
"Brilliant.” James’ eyes fixated back on his shoes. “I’m sure he’ll get back to you. Only an idiot wouldn’t.”
Lily bit her lip as her stomach fluttered at his words.
“He’s probably busy.”
James responded with a non-committal grunt.
Silence fell between them again and Lily felt the happy flutters in her stomach start to shift into an awkward clinch.
“Well,” Lily looked toward her door, “I guess-”
“Would you like to come to mine for dinner?” James blurted out.
Lily felt her heart stop dead in her chest. She glanced back at James, who was playing with his hair again.
“It’s, well it won’t be anything fancy, but, if, if you weren’t looking forward to making yourself something-”
“Yes,” Lily cut him off before he could change his mind. “I’d love to join you. Can I bring anything? I’ve a freezer stocked full of ice cream.” She frowned. “No chocolate though; your heathen taste in ice cream isn’t accounted for in my selections.”
“I’m wounded.” James threw both hands over his heart. “You mean to tell me you don’t keep an emergency supply of chocolate-chocolate chunk ice cream on hand for me?”
Lily rolled her eyes but bit her lip to try and mediate the smile that she felt blossom across her face. “You’ll have to make do with cherry vanilla, pistachio, or chocolate chip cookie dough.”
“I suppose I’ll live with the chocolate chips in your chocolate chip cookie dough then.” His hands fell. “But I warn you, I have no self-control when it comes to ice cream, hence there is never any in my flat.”
“I’ll only bring what I’m prepared to part with then.” Lily let her smile shine through. “I’ll just drop my things off and then be right over.”
“Brilliant. Great.” James dropped his keys and quickly stooped to pick them up, jingling them around in his hand as he stood. “I’ll just, er, I’ll just get things started. Don’t worry about knocking. I don’t want to keep you waiting if I’m at the stove.”
“Alright.” Lily pulled her keys from her bag, hoping she didn’t look overly eager. “I’ll only be a moment.”
“Right.” James turned his body to his own door while he still looked at her. Lily heard his key knock around a few times before she heard it slide into the lock. “Right, I’ll see you in a moment then.”
Lily nodded, not sure how to exit this conversation gracefully. She chose simply not to attempt it at all and stepped into her flat and shut the door.
Then she let the low-level panic and high-level excitement course through her veins as she bit her lip and bounced up and down.
She was having dinner with James.
Dinner with James, in his flat.
James asked her to have dinner with him in his flat.
“Breathe,” she reprimanded herself. “Don’t dawdle. Move.”
Within five minutes, Lily had brushed her hair, changed her shirt, collected the ice cream, and was slowly opening James’ door.
“James?”
“In here” He stuck his head out from the kitchen. “Make yourself at home, Evans.”
Lily adjusted her grip on the ice cream cartons in her hands as she moved towards James and the spicy smells coming from his kitchen.
“Am I good to just put these in the freezer?” She gestured toward the refrigerator.
James set down the wooden spoon in his hand and reached for the cartons.
“Here, let me.” His fingers were strong as they wrapped around her hands and held them for just a second longer than necessary before slipping the ice cream from her hands.
Lily forgot to lower her arms as he set them in the freezer.
“Have you ever had rogan josh?” James asked her as he closed the freezer door. “My mum dropped off enough to feed an army on Sunday and I’m trying to get through it all.”
“Nope.” Lily came to stand next to James as he stirred the red stew in the pot. “But it smells amazing.”
James beamed at her. “It is. Mum does it better than anyone I know. It’s basically a spicy lamb stew. I’ve got some plain yogurt if you need to cool it down. I don’t expect you to eat it as hot as my mum makes it.”
“I think I’ll be alright.” Lily smiled. “My dad loves Thai and always asks for it as hot as they’ll make it for him.”
“Well, don’t kill yourself, alright?” James bumped her shoulder with his and gave her a soft smile. “You’ve got nothing to prove to me.”
Lily felt her heart try to flutter out of her chest.
Maybe he was starting to see her the way she saw him. Maybe tonight would be the night she tried to move things out of friends and into something more…
When that sat down for dinner, Lily had to admit that James was right, she did need the extra yogurt, but she still loved his mum’s dish.
“I might have to meet your mum,” Lily sighed after her second bowl. “My ice cream in your freezer is the only reason I’m not having thirds.”
James picked up her bowl with a laugh. “She’ll be thrilled to hear it.”
James turned to face her, leaning against the sink counter behind him, and cleared his throat. “Would you like to sit on the sofa while we have ice cream? It’s a fair bit more comfortable than my dining chairs.”
“Sure.” Lily couldn’t help the beaming smile she gave him.
She followed James to his sofa, trying to ignore the sudden wave of shyness she felt as she opened the cherry vanilla ice cream pint in her hand.
“So.” James smiled at her, sitting far enough away on the sofa that he could face her.
Lily giggled around the bite of ice cream in her mouth. “So.”
“Thank you for having dinner with me, if you want to take some of the rogan josh home, I’m happy to share. I might actually manage to get it all eaten before it’s too old with your help.” James dug into his chocolate chip cookie dough.
“I will not argue with taking some of it off your hands,” Lily smirked. “Maybe your mum would be willing to bring me my own batch.”
James’ laugh was loud and his face contorted as he tried to keep the bite of ice cream in his mouth. “Trust me, what she brings just to me is plenty for the two of us.”
“Does she bring food to Sirius too?”
“Oh yes, usually more than she brings me. She knows I can make a lot of it myself, she’s been teaching me since I was about seven.”
“Does Sirius not cook?” Lily took another bite and sighed happily.
James cleared his throat and had another mouthful of his ice cream.
“Sirius cooks well, but he likes to experiment and change things, and Mum thinks it’s hedonistic or something. So obviously, if she brings him heaps of food, he won’t cook her recipes and ruin them.”
“Why does she bring you food then?” Lily smirked. “Do you ruin her recipes too?”
James rolled his eyes. “No, she uses it as an excuse to come see me.”
“Why does she need an excuse?”
James coughed and his cheeks reddened. “She’s just being my mum.”
Lily grinned, sure there was more James wasn’t telling her.
“If I ever meet your mum, I’ll be sure to ask what her motives are in bringing you food.”
James gave her a soft smile, his spoon halfway to his mouth. “Alright.”
Lily felt her whole body react to that soft smile, full of far more than friendly affection. He smiled at her like the thought of her meeting his mum had put him in the clouds.
She cleared her throat and took another spoonful.
“How’s your ice cream?”
Lily looked up at James and couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s lovely. How’s yours?”
“Not chocolate,” James smirked at her.
“You’re welcome to buy your own.”
“We’ve talked about this.” James reached over and poked her arm. “I have zero self-control when it comes to ice cream. If I bought chocolate it wouldn’t make it fifteen minutes in my freezer.”
“That would be a shame.” Lily gave him a playful shove and leant into the sparks that flew up her arm from having a bit more physical contact with James. “Although a slight rounder version of yourself wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
James made a sound that came somewhere from his chest and pushed forward; holding his pint off to the side as his free hand connected with her waist and tickled.
“Hey!” Lily laughed and leant into James’ touch, sliding her ice cream onto the coffee table as she threw both hands into tickling him back.
James’ other hand connected with her wrist and held it away from his underarms. His hazel eyes were alive with laughter and sheer happiness and Lily’s heart filled to bursting.
His fingers stilled suddenly and Lily watched his eyes drop to her lips. She held her breath. Wondering. Hoping.
She moved forward, just a fraction, hoping beyond hope that he’d meet her halfway.
James moved closer, mingling their breaths.
“Lily.” He said her name with a gruff breathless sound and his eyes dropped to her lips again with a heat that made her heart beat in her throat.
“Ja-”
Lily jumped as James’ phone began ringing loudly on the coffee table.
He swore, looking back and forth between her and his phone.
“Go ahead, it must be important.” Lily tried to put a good front on and keep the disappointment from her voice.
James looked at her with what Lily could only call longing in his eyes before pulling away from her entirely.
He frowned at the screen and sighed. “I’ll take this in my bedroom. I’ll be right back.”
Lily watched him disappear down the corridor and blinked.
James had every right to take the call in his room, but she had to admit a part of her hoped he would just silence his phone and ravish her.
Maybe she hadn’t seen the heat in his gaze. Maybe she’d imagined it all. Maybe she’d wanted it so much that she’d nearly made a fool of herself and kissed him.
She was an idiot, and she should count herself lucky that some higher power had just stopped her from doing something that could have ruined her friendship with James for good.
Lily picked up her ice cream and put the lid back on the pint with a sigh. She wasn’t hungry anymore.
Lily looked at her email and felt a tingle of giddiness.
J. Pearson had responded.
He was doing a reading and a signing! At Tomes and Scrolls!
Lily had woke up still feeling put out by how nothing had happened between her and James the night before, but this email helped her to push that frustration aside for a few minutes.
She was so excited!
She had to tell James!
And then she stopped short.
They’d ended things the night before in what Lily could only call an intensely awkward moment.
James’ hand had been planted firmly in his hair and his other hand had gripped his phone when he’d remerged. He’d commented on how late it was, how they both had work in the morning, and that he had a few things his employer needed him to do before he could turn in.
Lily had gawked at him and then managed to mumble her agreement and apologies for staying so late before grabbing her ice cream and fleeing to her flat.
Not the sort of parting that left Lily feeling like he had wanted to kiss her, or instilled confidence in her current desire to text him.
She reread the email and gritted her teeth. Lily needed to show James they were friends, that she was on the same page as he obviously was in regards to their almost kiss; what better way than to push all the awkwardness and hurt that she felt away by texting him with something they could both geek out about?
Before she could change her mind, Lily took a screenshot of the email and texted it to James with a GIF of a teddy bear running in circles with a big smile and confetti falling around it.
He responded within thirty seconds with a happy dance GIF.
Good, he was at least communicating with her.
Lily:Thanks again for dinner last night.
She held her breath as James’ typing bubble popped up on her screen.
James: Anytime. I appreciated the company
Lily bit her lip, wondering if she should give in to the desire to ask him if he’d ever like to come to hers for dinner, but then her “get up now or you’ll be late for work” alarm sounded and Lily settled for texting James that she too appreciated the company and let it go at that. Hoping that now they’d be able to go back to the friendship they had before.
But things were still weird.
Five days later, Lily was at her wit’s end. She was positive that James was doing more than just ignoring her, he was actively avoiding her. And Saturday morning she decided she couldn’t take it.
After a quick email to F. J. Pearson telling him how excited she was that he was doing a reading and signing - she’d been so focused on James ignoring her she’d forgotten to respond to Pearson - Lily went to her balcony to water her flowers and give James one more chance before she threw everything on the line.
If James was going to avoid her and stop their friendship, even when she was doing everything to show him she could keep things as friends, then Lily reasoned she might as well give him a valid reason to do so.
She emptied the watering can and looked at James’ empty balcony.
This was ridiculous.
The least he could have done was tell her that the almost kiss had been too much and he was through being her friend.
Why was he being so difficult?
A considerate person would tell her.
The James she thought she knew would tell her!
Where was the man she’d grown to trust? The man she was realizing she counted on as more than just her neighbor?!
In a rush of frustration, Lily tossed her watering can at James’ balcony door.
One second too late she realized what she was doing, but thankfully, the plastic container missed the door and skidded across the decking instead.
Alright, obviously it was time to have a conversation with James.
Just as soon as she retrieved her watering can.
She left her flat and after taking a few deep breaths she knocked on James’ door.
James opened a moment later, his phone held to his chest, and smiled at her.
“Hey, Lils.”
Lily felt some of her frustration fading under the warm hazel of his stare. “Hi, sorry, but I’ve, well I’ve dropped my watering can on your balcony.”
James chuckled, glancing at the phone pressed firmly against his chest. “You’re welcome to grab it. I need to finish up here.”
“Thanks, I’ll just be a moment.” Lily bared her teeth in a poor imitation of a smile as he let her into his flat.
“Lils,” James called after her as she walked toward his bedroom. Lily turned to see him looking at her with that same heated look he’d had the night they’d almost kissed. “Can you stick around for a bit? I’d like to chat once I’ve wrapped things up.”
Lily bit her lip but nodded. “Sure thing.”
His returning smile had her dipping her chin as she bit her lip. Maybe things weren’t as bad off as she thought they were between them. Maybe she was imagining him being distant. Maybe he just needed some space to see her the way she saw him.
She stepped into his room and smiled as she looked around. James’ bedroom was clean, but not quite tidy. His desk, right next to the sliding door to his balcony, had his laptop open, his inbox still on the screen, and dozens of papers around the machine. She bet that all the problems he was putting into the next physics textbook were worked out on those pages. Smiling, she moved to look at the pages, thinking she’d tease him about them when he finished his call.
But she stopped in her tracks when she got close enough to the laptop screen to see her name.
Lily stared at the laptop, the email she wrote to F. J. Pearson not fifteen minutes ago looking back at her.
“Did you find it alright, Evans?”
James appeared at his bedroom door and froze.
He swore.
“How?” Lily turned to look at him as she pointed at the screen, her watering can long forgotten.
James’ hand was shoved in his hair and his eyes were wide with panic.
“Lily, I can explain.”
“That you’re hacking F. J. Pearson’s emails?”
“Lily,” James’ other hand moved to his hair. “I- I’m sorry. I should- I should have told you ages ago, but I- I’m F. J. Pearson. I’m the author of the Grandville Mysteries. F. J. Pearson is- it’s my pen name. I’m sorry!“
Lily gawked at him, opening her mouth and closing it again and again, no sound emerging for several moments. Her mind spun. She couldn’t pull a full breath if her life depended on it.
"You’re, you’re F. J. Pearson?” The words tasted metallic on her tongue.
She watched James’ Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.
“Surprise?”
Lily blinked as anger and embarrassment pumped through her veins.
“Has this been some sort of joke for you?”
“What? No! Lily-”
“A great laugh this must have been,” Lily crossed her arms, feeling the heat of her embarrassment in her cheeks as it squeezed her chest. “I thought we were friends, James.”
“We are!”
Lily ignored the desperation she heard in James’ voice. “Really?” Lily gave him a humorless laugh in an attempt to push down the tears that were pushing on the back of her eyes. “Because this really doesn’t feel like something a friend would do. Lying to me? For almost a year? I bet you don’t even write textbooks!”
“Snape’s challenged me to circumnavigate the globe in eighty days,” said James.
“I don’t follow. That’s hardly a challenge.”
“Without magic.”
There was a clatter, followed by a string of expletives. James turned and looked at Sirius—he had dropped his brandy glass, the amber liquid marking the fabric of his expensive suit, the glass rolling across the Persian rug at his feet.
James raised an eyebrow at Sirius. “Quite.”
Sirius waved a hand hastily, vanishing the brandy from his trousers. He sat forward in his seat. “What’s the prize?”
“If I win, he leaves Lily Evans alone forever.”
“And if you don’t?”
James turned back to the window. Outside, the autumn sunshine was illuminating the leaves of a red maple tree, making them glow like fire. “I think you can work that out, Padfoot.”
I binge-watched the new BBC Around the World in 80 Days with Mr H yesterday, and obviously couldn’t resist turning it into a Jily fic. If you’re interested in a historical, magical AU where James Potter is a gentleman adventurer, Lily Evans is a journalist, and Sirius Black is the world’s worst valet, then watch this space…
“I’ve done something dumb.” Lily groaned as she looked up at Marlene from the sofa. “If it’s like every other dumb thing you’ve done, I’m going to my room.” “No, this time I’ve done something well and truly stupid.” Marlene eyed her from her lounge chair, skeptic to the last. “Out with it then.” Lily took a deep breath. “I told Petunia I had a boyfriend.”
A gift for lovely @petalstofish as part of the Potterverse Gift Exchange! Merry Christmas, love!
Redamancy
“I’ve done something dumb.” Lily groaned as she looked up at Marlene from the sofa.
“If it’s like every other dumbthing you’ve done, I’m going to my room.”
“No, this time I’ve done something well and truly stupid.”
Marlene eyed her from her lounge chair, skeptic to the last. “Out with it then.”
Lily took a deep breath. “I told Petunia I had a boyfriend.”
Marlene blinked. “Honestly, Lil, I thought you’d actually done something worth batting an eye at.”
Lily groaned and tossed the card in her hand at Marlene. “Read that and tell me I haven’t been an idiot.”
Marlene shrugged and handed it back. “So Petunia gave you a plus one to her wedding for your non-existent boyfriend. Tell her that he can’t make it because he can’t get work off, or because he’ll be with his family. Honestly, only your sister would get married on Boxing Day.”
“Then she’ll know I was lying!” Lily tossed the invitation on the sofa next to her. “The only reason she’s even giving me the plus one is to call my bluff and then rub it in my face that I have no one and she has Vermin.”
“I’d rather have no one than be saddled with that blob.” Marlene came to sit next to her on the sofa. “Is it really that big of a deal? What if you brought me instead? My family doesn’t have anything planned after Christmas.”
“Yes and no.” Lily leant against Marlene’s shoulder. “I can’t bring you because Petunia would kill me.”
“Always happy to leave lasting impressions,” Marlene chuckled. “Good to know that she hasn’t forgotten it’s not appropriate to infer a woman is a prostitute just because she enjoys leather pants.”
Lily smiled at the memory, “Exactly. But I can’t just show up alone because I’ll never hear the end of how she sacrificed a seat at her wedding for my non-existent boyfriend and how awful and ungrateful a sister I am.”
It was quiet between them for a moment and Lily tried to push away the dread building in her stomach by pulling her jumper tighter around her.
“Well, I guess you need a stand-in boyfriend.”
Lily lifted her head from Marlene’s shoulder. “A what?”
“Someone to play the part just for the day of the wedding.”
“A fake boyfriend? Where on earth am I supposed to come up with a fake boyfriend in six weeks?”
“You could take Sirius,” Marlene tapped her chin as she thought.
Lily shook her head. “No offense, but there’s absolutely no way I’m pretending your friend with benefits is my boyfriend.”
Marlene smirked but said nothing and Lily tried not to guess where her friend’s mind was.
“Remus then?”
“He’s with his family all that week. I’m not asking him to leave his mum just to be my date for one day. You know she’s not doing well.”
Marlene opened her mouth to say more but Lily cut her off.
“And before you say Peter, Petunia already knows he and Bridget got married last year.”
“I wasn’t going to say Peter,” Marlene’s smirk widened. “I happen to know that James is very much available the day after Christmas. According to Sirius, the Potters take Boxing Day as an excuse to not get out of their pajamas.”
Lily felt her mouth go dry. “I can’t ask James.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not!” Lily fell back against the couch with a huff. “You do not ask the man you secretly fancy to be your fake boyfriend to your sister’s wedding, and especially not when he’d rather be spending it with his family.”
“Maybe this is a way for you to stop fancying him in secret.”
“Or to ruin a perfectly good friendship.”
“Can you think of anyone else?”
Lily groaned. “No. I guess this means Petunia wins this round.”
Marlene stood, “Well, if you’re willing to give up that easily, I’ll leave you to it, but I still think you should ask James.”
Lily felt Marlene’s words like a bee sting.
She wasn’t giving up, Lily reasoned as Marlene shut her door. She was admitting defeat.
But the longer she sat there listening to Marlene’s speakers playing Fairytale of New York through her door, the more Lily didn’t want this hanging over her head for the next seventy-five years. She didn’t want this brought up at every family gathering. She didn’t want Petunia to win.
And then, as if Fate was trying to give her a push, her phone buzzed with a text message from the man who might just be able to save her.
James:you busy?
Lily couldn’t help the smile that streaked across her face as she read his text.
Lily: No. Just sitting on my couch.
James:i know its cold and very wet out, but would you maybe want to go for a hike with me? after last summer i promised mum i wouldn’t go by myself anymore
Lily thought Mia was right to extract the promise from her son. He’d decided to try and save a young deer from some fishing line it had become tangled in, but the deer was obviously spooked and once free had kicked James in the chest, breaking four ribs in the process. He’d had to make his way almost a mile out to the trailhead while his ribs tried to puncture his lungs.
And while she would much prefer an early summer hike to a late autumn hike, Lily did have all the items to keep her dry and warm.
She could go, for Mia of course.
Lily: Sure, want me to meet you at the trailhead?
James: nah, ill be there to pick you up in 20
Lily responded with a thumbs-up emoji and then moved to get ready, wondering if Fate was trying to tell her that asking James to be her fake boyfriend for Petunia’s wedding day was the right move.
“This is beautiful,” Lily sighed and looked out over the lake. A light frost still clung to a few of the shrubs surrounding them.
James bumped her shoulder, “See you should come out with me more often.”
Lily paused. Maybe James had just given her the perfect way for both of them to get what they wanted.
“I have an idea.”
“I bet it’s a good one.”
“You need someone to hike with, especially now that it’s cold, so you can go as often as you used to.”
James raised his eyebrows at her. “Yeah.”
Lily bit her lip. “I need a plus one for Petunia’s wedding, on Boxing Day.”
“Why did she give you a plus one? That doesn’t sound in character for your sister at all.” James furrowed his brow.
“It is when you consider why she gave it to me.” Lily fiddled with her water bottle.
“And what’s the reason?”
“I got into a fight with her, again.”
“That sounds like a reason she’d uninvite you.”
“Well,” Lily suddenly didn’t feel like the idea was so amazing. “She dug into her having someone and me being single and I was so angry that I blurted out that I had a boyfriend.”
James let out a low whistle.
“And this is her calling your bluff, huh?”
“Right.” Lily kept her eyes on the dirt below her hiking shoes.
“Lily,” James’ gloved hand wrapped around hers and Lily forced an even breath. “Are you asking me to play your fake boyfriend for Petunia’s wedding?”
“I’m sorry,” Lily shook her head. “I shouldn’t have-”
“Lily.” James cut her off as he squeezed her hand. “Of course, I’ll help you. And don’t feel like you need to hike with me to get it. I’m your friend, I don’t need a reason to help you.”
“I’ll still hike with you,” Lily looked up, excitement and panic pounding through her so fast she wanted to rip off her coat. “I know how much you love hiking, I’ll make sure I can come out with you at least once a week.”
James laughed, “You’ll have legs of steel and be ready to live with Father Christmas and his reindeer if we’re out here once a week.”
“I could use a good bout of exercise, combat the holiday weight and all.” Lily bumped his shoulder. “But you’re sure?”
James wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Lily couldn’t help but lean into him. “I’m sure, Lils. Let’s make Petunia look the fool.”
“Ready for your date?” Marlene teased as she checked her red lips in Lily’s mirror.
“This isn’t a date.”
“Sure it isn’t.”
“If this is a date then you and Sirius are more than just friends with benefits.” Lily retorted.
Something flashed in Marlene’s eyes but it was gone in an instant and she laughed. “Well played. So are you ready for your fake date with your fake boyfriend?”
Lily rolled her eyes. “James just thought we should practice before Saturday.”
“And hiking with him every Saturday for a month and a half hasn’t been enough practice?” Marlene sat on Lily’s bed. “Or the increase in text messages and phone calls?”
“We’re friends.” Lily tried to brush off Marlene’s digging. “All of those interactions we’ve just been friends. But James pointed out that we haven’t practiced being closer and it’s bound to look fake if the first time we hold hands or slow dance is at the wedding.”
“So this is your dress rehearsal?” Marlene handed Lily her clutch.
“Exactly.”
“Break a leg, I suppose. And may I add that you should practice kissing, just in case.”
“Just in case what?” Lily felt heat rush to her cheeks. “What, why, why on earth would I need to kiss James at Petunia’s wedding?”
Marlene hopped off Lily’s bed with a smirk. “You never know.”
Lily did know though, and there was absolutely no reason to give her stupid crush any more fuel than she already had. Seeing James so frequently and spending hours with him talking and laughing and just being together was giving her heart all sorts of fodder.
It really wasn’t a good thing, but Lily wasn’t about to stop it.
James was bailing her out of her lie, the least she could do was hike with him. And if hiking with him included hours of time spent close to him, and trips to the cafe afterward to warm up, well she’d just have to hope her heart didn’t break when this all ended.
James knocked on the door as Lily checked her reflection once more, adjusting her dark green velvet top.
No, she was not dressing up for him…she was, she was trying to look festive, thank you very much. Christmas was just a week away. It was normal to dress up for Christmas.
“Wow,” James blinked at her from the front step, his black coat undone to reveal his blue jumper.
“Oh,” Lily felt panic starting to form in her chest, “Am I dressed up too much? I didn’t even think to ask you what we were doing. I-”
“Lily,” James chuckled, “It’s just dinner and a little Christmas concert at a pub my parents suggested.”
“Right, good, that’ll be good, to practice I mean.” She fiddled with the neckline of her blouse.
James looked down at his shoes a moment before smiling back at her.
“Shall we practice then?” He held out his hand.
Lily swallowed but forced a smile as she slipped on her coat and took his hand. Electricity tingled through her fingers and palm all the way up her arm and across her neck, leaving Lily gasping for breath.
“Yeah.” Embarrassed by the lack of substance behind her voice, Lily cleared her throat and tried again. “This was a good idea.”
James’ hazel eyes had gone dark, his smile shifting as he looked down at her.
“I think so too.”
James apparently meant what he said about practicing being a real couple. He didn’t stop touching Lily at all through the entire night, and it was a problem because that hold she was trying to keep on her heart stood no chance against James’ constant touch.
His hand was on her back, then his fingers were intertwined with hers.
While they sat at dinner his foot found hers and slid from her ankle up her calf and back again.
His arm wrapped around her shoulders at the concert and when he spoke to her he leant in close enough that his warm breath teased her neck with its gentle kiss.
And Lily leant into all of it.
She couldn’t help herself.
Every time she bothered to realize where her hands were she’d find they were wrapped around James, his hands, his arms, his waist, even gripping his jumper at one point. She was honestly surprised that she hadn’t unknowingly put them in his hair.
This pretending was too easy. Lily was too attached to James to keep this fake, and she knew it.
But what could she do?
“Let’s go to the back and dance,” James’ voice was low as his lips brushed against her ear. The band was playing their rendition of Silver Bells , perfect for a slow dance.
Lily looked to the back of the pub, ready to say that they shouldn’t, only to find at least ten other couples already swaying slowly as they held each other close.
“Come on.” James’ took her hand. “It’ll be good practice.”
Right, practice.
Lily tried not to let her disappointment at the reason James was being this close to her show on her face.
“Good idea,” She smiled up at him and let James lead her to where the other couples were dancing.
She assumed he’d take her hand and lead her through some dance that his posh upbringing would have taught him and she would attempt to stumble her way through it. She had even watched and practiced with a few YouTube tutorials, trying to not make both of them look like fools.
James, however, had other ideas.
He spun her around once, then caught her elbows and guided her arms up around his neck. His hands traced along her arms, lighting her up like a Christmas tree, then down her sides to rest on her hips, pulling her closer.
Every single touch left Lily buzzing. Gasping. Silently hoping for just a bit more.
“Has tonight been alright?” James’ thumbs rubbed against her hips and Lily struggled to think straight.
“It’s been a wonderful fake date,” Lily braved a smile.
“Not too weird to pretend to be madly in love with a tosser like me?”
Lily shook her head, hoping he couldn’t see in her eyes how much her silly crush was shifting to a whole new level.
A dangerous level.
“Not at all.”
“And this is alright?” James leant his forehead into hers, pulling her just a little closer.
Lily couldn’t breathe.
She barely managed an affirmative hum.
“Good,” James’ voice slid through her like a silk cord, wrapping around her heart and slipping it from the desperate grip she was trying to keep on it.
She should say something. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lily knew she should say something and break the spell James had woven around her.
She should say something.
Then James pulled her closer, wrapping his arms completely around her waist, bringing their bodies flush against each other, and Lily lost the battle.
There were no two ways about it. In her attempt to thwart Petunia in calling her bluff, Lily had gone and given her heart to James. She’d spent a solid two years being ever so careful, keeping just enough distance between herself and him so that she wouldn’t lose his friendship over a silly crush that surely would fade away given enough time. It was out the window now. Nothing she could do would ever put them back to where they’d been before. James could never be just a friend after this.
And to keep herself from the tears, she rested her head against James’ shoulder and pretended that the way he held her like he’d given his heart too was real.
“Excited?” Marlene came walking into Lily’s bedroom, handing over the red heels she was lending to Lily.
Lily put on a smile and nodded as she slipped into the shoes, completing the very Christmas-y ensemble when paired with her green and white dress and her hair swept up with a white poinsettia clip. Not being a bridesmaid stung, but had the fringe benefit of wearing exactly what she wanted.
“It’ll be good to see Petunia’s face when she realizes that I’ve actually brought a date.”
“Not just a date,” Marlene slid onto Lily’s bed, “A boyfriend.”
Lily tried not to let the sting she felt at Marlene’s comment show on her face.
From Marlene’s expression, she failed.
“What’s wrong?”
Lily shook her head. “Nothing.”
“No, not nothing, what’s going on?”
“Really Mar, it’s nothing.”
“Did James hurt you? Because if he did I’m going to-”
“James didn’t do anything,” Lily quickly cut off her friend.
“Then what’s going on?”
“I’ve done something dumb.”
“Will you stop that?” Marlene demanded. “You don’t do dumb things!”
Lily’s returning laugh was humorless. “Falling for your fake boyfriend is pretty dumb, Marlene.”
“Finally!” Marlene squealed, jumping up from the bed and wrapping Lily in a hug.
“This isn’t a good thing!” Lily protested, pushing Marlene off of her. “James and I are friends!”
“The best relationships are based on friendship, Lils.”
“But he doesn’t feel that way about me!”
“BS,” Marlene started typing on her phone.
“Don’t you dare text him!” Lily lunged for Marlene’s phone but she jumped out of the way.
“Chill! I’m texting Sirius! And you usually don’t like when I share these texts but if you really want reassurance you’re welcome to read the whole thread.”
“Ew,” Lily grimaced. “Fine, but please don’t intervene. James doesn’t feel the same way about me and I’m trying to figure out how to stop these feelings before he realizes that I’m overly attached and ends our friendship.”
“And Sirius calls me dramatic.” Marlene threw her curls over her shoulder. “Look, just talk to him about it, alright? Do it tonight.”
Lily’s phone rang and she swallowed at James’ smiling face on her screen.
“James is probably here, I’ll see you tonight.”
Marlene winked at her. “Or tomorrow morning works too.”
Lily glared at Marlene’s back but tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she answered her phone.
“Hi, James.”
“Hey, Lils, I’m just about to yours, but I wanted to know if you prefer almond poppy seed, blueberry, banana nut, or chocolate chunk muffins?”
“They’re all good to me, James.” She adjusted the neckline of her dress.
“Now, now, don’t be like that. Which sounds amazing right now?”
Lily licked her lips. “Honestly, the chocolate chunk, but you really don’t-”
“Perfect, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
And he ended the call.
Lily stared at her phone, wondering if James really planned to bring muffins to her sister’s wedding, before deciding that she’d wait by the window so she could meet him at his car when he arrived. The last thing she wanted was Marlene “accidentally” blurting out things she had no business telling people - mainly James.
True to his word, ten minutes later James rolled up. He jumped out of his car but stumbled when he saw Lily walking towards him.
“I know I keep saying this, but, wow.”
Lily smiled, “You look good all bundled up in your coat too.”
“Well thank you. Wait till you see this suit without the coat.” James closed the distance between them and offered Lily his arm.
“I hope this dress can keep up with it.” Lily laughed and took his arm.
“Shall we go and shock your sister?”
“Yes, let’s go give Petunia a stomach ulcer.”
James’ laugh was a booming sound that filled Lily with a warmth that had her wanting to curl up in front of a cozy lit fireplace with him.
But she forced herself to pull away.
She had to stop leaning into him or she’d never salvage any piece of their friendship.
“Now.” James slid into the driver’s seat. “This box here has two chocolate chunk muffins in it.” He handed her the small box. “And this is your tea. I figured we should have some sort of pick-me-up before going into this. And I’ve noticed many wedding planners forget that people need to eat at these things. So we’re covered on all fronts.”
Lily swallowed the sudden rush of emotion that hit her.
“Thank you,”
“This is where you tell me what an excellent fake-boyfriend I am,” James smirked as he pulled out of the parking space.
Lily laughed, grateful for the humor that broke through her anxiety. Maybe, if he kept her laughing, she could make it through today.
“Lily! Who is this?!” Petunia’s lips were pressed into the thinnest line Lily had ever seen and her words were sharp as daggers.
“Hi Tuney, this is James, my boyfriend.” Lily stepped closer to James, not difficult to do in the small bride’s dressing room of the venue Petunia had chosen.
“Your boyfriend?!” Her skin was as pale as the white satin of her wedding dress. “You don’t have a boyfriend! You were lying to me! Mum told me you hadn’t said anything about seeing someone!”
“Then why, might I ask.” James wrapped a protective arm around Lily’s waist, pulling her close against him. “Did you include an invite for me if you didn’t believe I existed?”
Petunia’s glare shifted to James. “I do not know who you are and I do not have to answer you.”
Lily felt her temper flare. “I don’t care that this is your wedding Petunia, you do actually have to be nice to James.”
Heaven knew how much of Vernon Lily had endured.
Petunia opened her mouth to respond but was cut off.
“Lily!” Their mum came into the already crowded room. “I’m so glad you’re here, and who is this?”
“James Potter, Mrs. Evans,” James took her mum’s hand and kissed it as he bent slightly at the hip. “I’m Lily’s boyfriend.”
Lily’s mum smiled broadly, “Well, I’m very happy to meet you!” She turned to Petunia. “That was thoughtful of you to let Lily have her boyfriend here, dear.”
“I, I, I-” Petunia stuttered.
“Lily, why don’t you take James and get your seats up by mine and your father’s.” Her mum hugged her with a twinkle in her eye. “We’ll be along in about twenty minutes and then we’ll have pictures after the ceremony. It’ll be another thirty or so minutes after that for dinner.”
Lily put on a smile, “Sounds brilliant.” She kissed her mum’s cheek before taking James’ proffered arm and leaving her sister gaping after them.
“That went well,” James joked.
“I think Mum knows something is up.” Lily swallowed as the unease settled in her stomach.
They walked into the main hall, devoid of any and all Christmas decor. As if getting married on Boxing Day somehow meant Petunia wasn’t having her wedding at Christmas time.
“If she does, she took our side back there.” James stepped to the side as Lily took her seat. “Besides, I’m so charming she probably forgot to suspect anything.”
Lily shoved him but laughed. “Could your head get any bigger?”
“Not so long as I’ve got you and my mum around.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. “Relax, Lils, we’ve got this.”
“I hope so.”
But as people started coming up to say hello, Lily realized she absolutely did not have this.
Family friends, people she’d known since she was a kid, were coming up and genuinely happy, excited even, to meet her boyfriend. Treating James like one of the family. Making it that much harder for Lily to put distance between her heart and James, between her and James.
Thankfully, and ironically, Petunia saved her from any more well-meaning family or friends by getting the show underway.
But that opened more opportunities for her heart to cling to the facade of a relationship she and James were portraying. The ceremony was beautifully given, and the officiant made Lily long for the kind of companionship they counseled the couple to cultivate and build together. James’ arm around her shoulders through the whole thing only served to remind her she’d never have it with him.
And it broke her heart.
The crushing feeling in her chest.
The tightness in her throat that she couldn’t swallow away.
The blur of moisture in her vision.
She needed space.
Now.
Before she did something stupid.
Like give in to every desire of her heart and kiss him.
After a quick congratulations to Petunia and Vernon, Lily told James she was stepping to the loo.
And bolted.
Staring herself down in the mirror over the sink, Lily fought for control.
She would not cry.
She absolutely would not cry.
She would be strong.
She would control her heart.
She would get over this.
Over James.
That thought made her stomach cramp.
Lovely.
Now she might cry andvomit.
“Lily?”
Lily turned from gripping the sink to face her mum.
“Hi Mum,” Lily forced a smile.
Her mum wrapped her in a long hug. “Darling, what’s going on? And please tell me that lovely James is not a paid escort.”
Lily couldn’t help the laughter that nearly exploded out of her.
“He’s a friend, Mum.”
“But not your boyfriend?”
Lily looked down at her heels.
“Lily, I could tell two things when I walked into that room and the first one was that you and your sister were trying to outmaneuver each other again.”
“She was just so infuriating!” Lily felt the anger seeping back in. “She kept going on and on how when I finally found a man who would look past all my freakishness I’d see her side of it. That I was somehow this poor deprived soul because I wasn’t getting married right now!”
“You’re not a freak, my Lily.” Her mum pulled her back into a hug. “You’re the opposite and if I’d known your sister was still calling you that I would have threatened her wedding favors for it.”
Lily chuckled and tried to swallow down the threatening tears. “You shouldn’t have to keep pushing her to be a decent human being. I’m getting better at handling her.”
“Like telling her you had a boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” Lily sighed in defeat and rested back against the sink. “But then she called my bluff.”
“So you asked James to be your stand-in?”
“He’s a good friend, and has put up with more than he deserves already.”
“And he’s quite taken with you.”
Lily paused as her heart latched on to her mum’s words. “James is a friend.”
“I told you, I could tell two things when I walked in that dressing room, and the second was that the man standing next to you was head over heels for you.”
Lily shook her head, but her mother continued.
“I’ve got a sense about these things, but even if I didn’t, it’s not hard to catch. Haven’t any of your friends pointed it out to you?”
Marlene’s insistence over the last two years echoed in her mind, along with the not so subtle hints Sirius had been giving and Lily had written off as teasing.
“You’re not the first to mention it.”
Her mum squeezed her arm. “So be the woman I raised you to be and make that boy out there yours.”
Lily shook her head as a tear escaped down her cheek. “What if he doesn’t feel that way about me? What if I lose our entire friendship?”
Her mum pulled her into a hug. “Then I’ll be there to help you move forward. But my mother’s sense tells me that isn’t what’s going to happen.”
Lily buried her head in her mum’s shoulder, breathing in the comforting warmth. “Promise?”
“Promise. I’ll even smuggle you out of here if you need it.” She nudged Lily to look up at her. “Now, let’s get these pictures out of the way and you and James can go find a quiet spot to talk before dinner.”
Lily took a deep breath and linked her arm with her mum’s trying to give herself courage. “Right, I can do this.”
“There’s my girl.”
Lily didn’t know if it was her mum squeezing her arm or the smile James turned on her when she walked up to him, but for the first time since she got the plus one on her invite, Lily felt like maybe she did have this.
Pictures went quickly and James kept his smile on her from his spot near the door until she was assured that she was free till the dinner.
“Hey Lils.” James pulled her under his arm. “Everything alright?”
“I think so,” Lily smiled up at him. “Want to go find someplace where we can sit for a bit?”
“Definitely.” And for the first time, Lily noticed that when James looked at her, his eyes dropped for the briefest moment to her lips.
Maybe her mum - and Marlene - were right.
They meandered through the venue till they found an out of the way bench looking out at the Christmas lights adorning the trees and light posts in the car park. They claimed it for themselves and spent the first few moments enjoying the beauty before them.
“James,” Lily broke the silence as she rested her hands in her lap, her fingers running over the red and gold polish of her Christmas manicure. “I really appreciate all of this.”
James’ hand came to close over hers. “Anything for you, Lils.”
Lily stared at their hands, focused on how right it felt to look down and see his fingers intertwined with hers, finding courage in it.
“Have, have you noticed that we’re, well, we’re kind of good at this?”
“At what, exactly?”
“Well, at being together, being more than what we started as.”
His free hand came up to gently cup her chin, guiding her eyes to meet his, the hazel so dark it might have been black.
“What are you saying, Lily?”
Her breath was much harder to pull with his fingers caressing her face, but Lily gave it her best effort.
“I don’t want to pretend anymore that I don’t fancy you.”
James’ smile split his face nearly in half and he squeezed her hand. “I would really like to stop pretending I don’t fancy you as well.”
Lily didn’t think she could pull a full breath if her life depended on it, and her voice squeaked as she asked, “Really?”
James nodded as he moved forward at a snail’s pace, slowly closing the distance between them.
Then Lily heard her mother’s advice echo in her mind; make that boy yours .
She lunged forward.
There was no other word for it.
Lily pushed forward, leveraging off of her knees, and closed what little distance between them James had yet to cover.
Her lips pressed to his in what could only be called bliss.
Finally, finally, every daydream, every hope her heart had secretly harbored, nothing compared to finally having her lips pressed to his.
Lily slowly let their lips part, only to have James move with lightning speed. His hands moved instantly from her chin and fingers to wrap around her waist, nearly pulling her into his lap. His lips were back to hers, this time his tongue tasting, savoring, teasing. And somewhere in that lightning second, Lily realized that her arms were wrapped around his neck, pulling James flush against her, her fingers tangling in his hair.
It was a member of the staff, ushering guests to where the dinner would be served, that managed to make the young couple surface for air.
“Really.” James rested his forehead against hers, his hands sliding up and down her waist.
“So are we a real couple now?”
“If not, tell me what will make us a real couple and I’ll make it happen.”
Lily laughed, leaning in to kiss him again. “I think we need to make plans for a real first date.”
“What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?”
“Just the McKinnon’s party.”
“Will you go as my date?”
Lily felt her smile reach cartoon level in size and she couldn’t help but laugh as she nodded.
