#written by archie
Sat, 17 Aug 2019 21:11:23
Fri, 09 Aug 2019 23:06:35
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requested by: anon. i think i got a little carried away with this - he’s one of my favouritest characters ever. thanks for the request <3
warnings: this may seem a little… well, you know. but i promise, there’s nothing inappropriate here! besides, he is an old man.
- At first, it’d be very uncomfortable to be around him at all. He’s like thirteen but speaks with a certain maturity that’s just very… odd. What kind of thirteen year old can have in-depth discussions about the Vietnam war and nineteen-forties politics as if he were there?
- But then the Hargreeves would take you aside and explain that although he’s thirteen, and although he was born on the same day as the rest of them, he’s actually fifty-eight. Again, it’s odd and a bit scary at first, but when you think about it, it’s entirely logical.
- You’d build a quick friendship when you finally understand him, and it’d catch fire quickly. You’d love to hear all his stories, his thoughts and terrifying knowledge of the apocalypse. But coming from an animated young man who had the patience of a grouchy old fogey, it was hilarious.
- He’d get annoyed at you the first time you start laughing while he’s talking. He’d demand to know why, call you childish, and walk off. The irony would just make you cackle harder.
- But soon, he’d begin to see your point. He’d crack a smile when he could see you trying to keep your laughter in, and although he’d get annoyed at your OAP jokes, he’d shake his head and let you have it.
- But only you. If anyone else were to try the same, he wouldn’t have it. That’s when he’d know you were different, that he felt some type of way about you.
- Soon it would come about that when you’re least expecting it, he’d randomly pop up by your side. Making dinner? You’d have to cook for two, just in case he showed up in the middle of your eating. Gonna take a shower? You gotta leave a note on the fridge, just in case he shows up and can’t find you.
- Sometimes you’d get home from work and find a note on your fridge that you didn’t put there. It’d tell you to check the oven - and you’d find that he’d cooked dinner for you.
- You’d never know, but he’d charge his siblings with making sure you’re okay when he’s off doing Five-things. You’d find that you’d have lunch dates with Allison more than before, and more than once you’d wake up in the night because of a fistfight outside your house. You’d lean out the window and tell Diego to go home.
- Klaus would tease the both of you - it would rub Five the wrong way when he calls out “cradle-robber”, knowing fully it could apply to the both of you. You’d think it hilarious, which is just lucky because otherwise Five would grill Klaus for days.
- You’d find yourself fitting into the dysfunctional family rather nicely, and you’re actually appreciated there - perhaps you’re a glint of that normality that they all miss out on. Perhaps its also because they’re glad someone can understand Five, and help him adapt to his weird situation.
- Eventually, he’d have no choice but to tell you how he feels, lest he wants to suffocate in his feelings. He’d have tried to keep them in, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable or -god forbid- chase you away. But when he crashes your dinner and finds that you have a guy over for dinner (a guy your own age, dammit), his temperament would sour so quickly. He’d ask questions he didn’t want to know the answer to, and you’d be able to tell from how cold he was that he wasn’t alright. When he zaps away, you wouldn’t see him for another week. No notes, no random appearances, he’s not even around when you visit the Academy. Nothing.
- It’s only when Allison talks to him about how hard he is to be around that he decides he needs to fix it. Well, she blackmails him. “If you don’t do it, I’ll hear a rumour and you’ll do it anyway.” He may or may not have thrown a coffee cup or two in frustration.
- So he appears one evening, but this time, he only appears on your front step. He’d have to check from looking into one of the windows that it is where you live, because he’s never actually been stood outside it before - he just zaps right in. So when you answer the door, he’s both relieved and absolutely devastated.
- You’d invite him in, very confused, and make him a cup of coffee. He’d drink it all and ask for another one before he even says a word about what’s on his mind.
- When he does, it’s blunt. He explains why, and although you find it tremendously cute, he approaches it like a math question. Logical, systematic, trying to keep emotion out of it. But you can tell he’s nervous and upset, that this means a great deal to him. His voice is his typical explaining, analytical voice, but he clutches the coffee cup until his knuckles turn white and he struggles to meet your eye.
- Understandably, you’d feel a little uncomfortable with his confession. On one hand he’s thirteen, but on the other he’s fifty-eight. Either way, it’s… uncomfortable.
- But, you’d lean across the table, take his coffee cup, and place your hand over his. Clearly he’s suffering, knowing it can’t happen. But that doesn’t mean you have to be cold.
- You’d smile at him, and he’d give a blue smile in return. You’d explain to him that it can’t happen, and of course, he’d nod. He knows.
- You’d propose waiting for him - when he’s older, maybe you can give it a shot then.
- He’d be so salty. “When I’m twenty-five I’ll be seventy, you know.”
- You’d laugh at that, and he’d crack a smile at the familiar situation. You’d kiss his forehead before he goes, knowing it’d mean something different to him than it did to you. But what can you do in that situation?
- Before long, things would be back to normal. He’d be irritable, though charming, and your best friend, though simultaneously a child and old man. He’d will himself to push through the days, waiting for the day he’s ‘older’, and would spend each of those days reaffirming you that you mean so much to him, dinner in the oven and sweets left on the table with a note. You mean the most.
written by: archie