JJ series recommendations?

Can you guys recommend me some (complete if possible) JJ maybank (multiple parts) series??

( if you know any kook!reader…)

• Warnings:angst, fluff, kind of enemies-to-lovers. Mentions of death, drugs, robbery, abuse, etc. Swearing as always.
• Word Count: 4640
• All Rights Reserved. The author, me, don’t allow any type of copy or adaption.
• If you guys see my works in other websites, let me know, please. I only have Tumblr.

BIG MASTERLIST

The first time you ran away from each other was the same day you met. Your mother had decided to enrol you in kindergarten as her work kept her occupied for many hours. There, you met a hyperactive blond boy who attempted to lead all the other children. From that first moment, you decided that JJ Maybank would not be up to your liking.

He was the first one to try to get close to you. JJ saw you as a girl who seemed to have several difficulties when talking to the other children. And JJ was sure that he had never seen you in kindergarten, convinced that it was your first day there. However, JJ had his ways of trying to get close to other people, and you didn’t like it at all when the blond, hyperactive kid decided to grab as many insects as he could find, showing you all the ones he had.

“Look,” You were peacefully sitting down on the ground, playing in the sandbox. Turning around, you saw the blond guy running to you, a front tooth missing as he widely smiled in your direction. “Look what I found,” He sat in front of you in such a brute way that some sand got into your eyes. “I’ve captured ‘em all.” The 6-year-old blond opened a small metal box, which was loaded with various insects. “This one is a…” You stopped listening to what he was saying since your attention was drawn to the insects. Goosebumps covered your arms and legs.

“Get away.” Your voice sounded harsh. The boy was surprised by your demanding tone as he thought your voice would be as soft as cotton candy. “Get them away!” You insisted. Your eyes still glancing at the insects, begging that they would stop moving.

“Why?” His eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t like insects?”

You quickly shook your head, pushing your feet harder against the ground, your butt sliding farther from him. “No one likes insects.” You tried to justify the way your voice had cracked a little bit. “You are strange.”

Now, it was JJ’s turn to look at you with disgust, not believing that there was someone in this world who didn’t like bugs. “You are the strange one!” JJ felt hurt as he got up from the sand. The rapid movement provoked some of the insects to escape from the small metal box he was tightly gripping. He gasped, sad as the tiny bugs started walking or jumping away.

JJ was even more shocked when you screamed, getting up from the sand and trying to get away from him as quick as possible. Your body started itching just thinking of them. The blond also ran away from you, not believing that someone could be so heartless towards insects and so mean towards him.

During the years that followed your experiences, both of you appeared to be offended or repulsed by the past actions of the other. Of course, things didn’t get better. 

The second time happened when both of you were around ten years old. Coincidentally enough, JJ Maybank attended the same school as you. You both had your friends and avoided each other as much as possible. However, you would be lying if you didn’t admit that you were pretty curious whenever JJ would not attend school, which happened often.

You started hearing rumours related to the blond boy. Some people said that his mother had died. Others claimed she had left them for a rich man because JJ Maybank’s father was an abusive man who spent his days and nights drinking his problems away. You decided that whatever was going on with JJ wasn’t your problem. But once again, you were lying to yourself as deep inside you hoped that he was okay. 

The following day, JJ Maybank decided to go to school, but the stupid grin that always decorated his face had vanished. He almost seemed mad. Of course, during PE class, he decided to let his anger come out. JJ was in the opposite team, and as you both ran side to side, trying to be the first to grab the ball, the boy decided to use his arm to push you. You didn’t expect such strength as your right side collided on the ground.

Everyone stopped playing, shuffling closer to you to make sure you were alright. Some kid had left, claiming they would call the teacher who had disappeared for a couple of minutes. “Watch where you are going.” The blond stared down at you. You clenched your jaw, quickly blinking the tears that blurred your vision. JJ scoffed. “Oh c'mon, are you going to cry?” Some of his friends snickered as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Is that what you were doing while you didn’t come to school?” A girl helped you stand up, and you had to avoid groaning as your side grunted in pain. Due to your words, some of the kids gasped. It was your turn to grin. “Oh, that’s what you were doing, right?”

JJ was the one clenching his jaw this time, shuffling closer to you. “You should be a little more respectful, don’t you think?” Your expression conferred a great confusion. “I don’t think your new dad will like how you talk.” Your heart was crazily beating. How did he know that? Did rumours run so fast in the Outer Banks? “Yeah, I know.” Everyone seemed curious about what the boy was implying. “Your dad died a month ago, and your mom didn’t wait much to find a new husband.” He spat. “Even worse, you are now a Kook.” Everyone gasped as they started whispering. You have spent all your life being a Pogue, someone who didn’t have much money and of course, you lived where all the rest of the Pogues did. Your mother had married a Kook a couple of months ago, and even though you were now living in a better place, your mom was able to convince her husband to let you stay in this school, knowing that all your friends were here.

“Gosh, I touched a Kook.” The girl who had helped you from the ground whined. 

“Be careful!” Another child claimed. “She might talk to her parents because a dirty Pogue touched her, and we will get in trouble.”

“I’m a Pogue.” You attempted to keep the strength in your voice, not wanting to sound like you were on the verge of breaking down.

“Not anymore.” JJ scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you have a big room with light yellow walls, big gold mirrors, a gold bed…”

“That sounds stupid!” You defended yourself. However, you did have a big bed in a room for yourself. Everyone laughed, starting to get farther from you. “Well, at least my mom didn’t leave me, right?” JJ almost choked on his spit. “You aren’t much different from me if it’s true that your mother left you and your dad to marry a Kook. The only difference is that my mother loves me!”

It was at that time that you thought JJ would hit you, but it was both of you that started pushing each other, insulting. It also seemed like the teacher had seen the last moments of your fight, and she demanded both of you to be in the same team in hopes of the sport making you act as teammates, ignoring your differences.

“I won’t be in the same team as a sickening Kook.” He walked to the other team as you walked to the other one. However, no one seemed to want to be in the same team as a sickening Kook.

The third time was when both of you were around fifteen. You had developed a love for the sea and surfing, something your dad used to treasure too. When he died due to cancer, his ashes were thrown into the sea. Surfing became your tranquil place, the only moment and area where you were able to remember your dad. And sometimes hide the tears running down your cheeks as you deeply missed him.

But of course, JJ Maybank was a great surfer, something it stung to admit. He was always there. Moments of tension had happened between both of you before. The blond guy made it his mission to steal your waves as much as possible, which clearly stated that both of you disliked each other. Everyone knew that surfers who respected each other also respected other surfers’ waves.

However, this time other people were involved even more. Your mom’s husband was someone who had fed and clothed you these past years. As soon as your mother married him, he had convinced her to stop working as he could perfectly support both of you. It was rare. Your mother loved to gain her own money. She loved to work, but then she just stopped.

Michael, your mother’s husband, had tried to stop you from surfing, claiming that someone of your social status shouldn’t do those types of activities. You wanted to scream at him that you were still a Pogue, and you did. However, he had hit you, your mother not doing anything as she glimpsed at the ground while Michael stated all the facts that made you a Kook and not a Pogue. All those facts related to him. You were surviving thanks to him, and he had given both your mom and you a home that you would only be able to dream about.

You had talked to Michael, asserting your ground and letting him know that you would never stop surfing. Your mom, surprisingly enough, had claimed that you weren’t doing anything wrong and that surfing was good for your mental health.

Nevertheless, you were shocked when your mother and her husband had appeared on the beach where you were getting ready to surf. You grunted to yourself as you groaned, hoping they wouldn’t cause a scene. Mainly when the so-called JJ Maybank and his friends were so close.

“W-What are you two doing here?” You placed the board on the ground.

Your mom glanced at Michael, to later look at you, offering you a tiny smile. “Well, I convinced him to come to watch you surf so he would see how passionate you are about it!” You knew your mother had good intentions, but Michael was someone who didn’t do anything out of passion or love if it wouldn’t generate more money for him.

You nodded your head, swallowing and as you gave them a last glance, you grabbed your surfboard. As you stepped away from them, your feet touching the water. “Hey,” You halted when hearing Michael’s voice. “You are getting in the water now?” His eyebrows were furrowed. You quickly nodded your head. When his gaze moved to something or someone not far from you, you glanced in the same direction. JJ and his friends were getting in the water. “Shouldn’t get in the water with dirty Pogues.” He spat loudly, making a shiver run through your body.

“Then she can get out.” You didn’t need to look behind you to know it was the blond’s voice. Staring at your mother, you hoped she would see the mistake she had committed. And you also hoped that she would tell Michael to be respectful or stop being stupid. Nevertheless, you knew that wasn’t going to happen. “The beach isn’t a place for Kooks anyway.” JJ could only see your back, but he was shocked by your silence. You always answered back.

“Don’t worry about that.” Michael spat on the sand, stepping forward and grabbing your arm forcefully. “She isn’t going to get in the same water as some fucking dirty Pogues.”

“Kind of funny of you to say that when you are fucking one.” You gasped as JJ answered back, referring to your mother.

Turning around, you glared at him. “Shut the fuck up.” You walked up to him. “Respect my mom, you fucking-.”

“Let’s get out of here, right now.” Michael’s voice echoed. You continued glaring at the blond, who was now smirking. “RIGHT NOW, Y/N!”

“Have fun in your mansion.” He whispered, and you noticed how close your faces had been. As you walked backwards to Michael and your mom, he walked back to get deeper into the sea, where his friends waited for him.

JJ Maybank and you were always running away from each other. Or maybe that’s what you both wanted to believe. I mean, there was a time where you both run to each other. A time where everyone noticed that the Maybank boy and you didn’t seem to hate each other as much as you had made everyone believe. But there were several times where you two had run to each other without noticing. Let me explain.

The first time happened when both of you were six years old, there was a storm while both of you were at kindergarten. Parents were worried as the roads were flooded, and the NEWS had advised people to stay inside. Therefore, every child had to stay there until the storm would go away. This happened a couple of weeks after JJ had tried to befriend you with his horrible tiny insects.

That day JJ Maybank had noticed that whenever a thunder burst, you shook. You were on a corner of the classroom, your back against the wall as you sat on the ground. There was a pink table in front of you with a couple of blank sheets and some colours. You had felt JJ’s gaze on you.

The boy got up from where he was sitting on the other side of the classroom, grasping some glue and scissors. He made his way to a green table that was close to yours. You observed him as he sat down, still stealing some glances. You bit your lower lip, grabbing your sheets and colours as you decided to walk to his table, sitting down next to him as you started to draw.

JJ tried to hide his smile as he took one of your blank sheets, using your colours to draw too. You had distracted yourself while drawing to the point where your body had stopped shaking.

That day you had run towards JJ Maybank, and he had run to you.

Thesecond time you ran to each other was when you were around ten years old. A few days after the big fight you had with JJ, you were at recess, sitting on a bench alone while you ate the snack that Nana had prepared. Nana was the woman who was in charge of cooking at your house, the woman you spent most of your time with because your mother was too busy with her new husband, going to parties and forgetting about traditions that you both shared and that you had promised to respect forever.

You missed the food your mother prepared, and even though Nana always managed to prepare the foods you liked the most, it was not the same as when your mother did. Lately, you had asked her to start preparing your snack again and that all the children in your class brought desserts that their parents had cooked and sometimes shared them, trying to show that their parents made the best desserts. However, Michael had made it clear to you that your mother would never have to set foot in a kitchen again since they could afford an entire catering.

And really, who would you share dessert with? Nobody wanted to be with a sickening Kook, right? Therefore, you couldn’t help but be surprised when JJ Maybank was loudly complaining about how there were no available seats to sit down and eat his snack. You were even more surprised when he decided to sit on the same bench as you. You chose not to look at him, but you asked yourself why he had sat next to you when there were other free spots even though he had said there weren’t.

Even when you noticed that JJ was looking at your food, you didn’t turn to look at him. You didn’t turn around either when he offered you a small plastic cup with bananas, strawberries, and whipped cream. You didn’t say anything when you realized he had another one for him, and you wondered if all that had been on purpose. You also didn’t turn around when you split your sandwich, offering him half.

JJ Maybank had woken up earlier that morning to make two desserts when he noticed that you never had one. JJ Maybank had run to you that day, and you had let him, approaching him slowly.

Thethird time was when both of you were around fifteen. Rumours in the Outer Banks spread fast, and it was no surprise that everyone had found out what had happened to you that day. The same day that Michael and your mother had gone to the beach to watch you surf was the same day that at night you decided to run away from home, tired of Michael’s constant criticism. But that day had been horrible, especially since Michael had hit you in the face again because you had yelled at him. You only shouted at him because he had spoken ill of your father, and your mother was not even able to say anything.

You sighed, feeling your heart throbbing. You weren’t a huge fan of Michael, but he treated your mom well the first few years they started dating. But you will never forgive your mother for not defending your father. Growing up, you were sure you wanted to find someone who would treat you like your father treated your mother. As if she were the only woman in her life. It’s hard to believe that there was a time when your parents were young and couldn’t stand each other.

You felt like someone sitting next to you in complete silence. You didn’t have to look to your side to know that it was JJ Maybank. You were both quiet for a couple of minutes, close to each other while your eyes were lost on the horizon.

You didn’t need words. JJ got up from the sand after placing his jacket around your shoulders. Seeing that he had gotten up, you resolved to glance at him. But JJ was looking away, and when you followed his gaze, you saw that he was staring at his friend’s truck. JJ was trying to tell you that he would take you home, and there was no need for words as you got up from the sand, walking beside him.

That night, JJ took you home without saying a single word, shook his head when you tried to give him back the jacket and didn’t leave until he saw that you were safely inside your house. That night you both ran to each other.

The time it was obvious that JJ and you run to each other happened in a terrifying way for both of you. You were both around nineteen years old, and it happened after one of the famous Midsummers in which JJ seemed to be working as a waiter, and in which you were in a gorgeous dark green dress. But you didn’t feel very comfortable in a place like that. You never felt comfortable in a place like that.

In the last two years, your mother had changed a lot, and Michael had become someone with whom it was impossible to live. You had begun to be subjected to his orders and many of them were ridiculous and disrespectful towards your mother and you. For example, the time he demanded you to get rid of the vinyl records that you had inherited from your father, saying that you already had a father, him. Of course, the conversation did not end well when you decided to make it clear that you only had one father, and unfortunately, he was dead.

When you were tired of the party, and after Michael decided to seize your arm tightly in front of everyone, you chose to leave, regardless of the night, the cold, that your house was far away and that your heels would damage your feet.

“Hey princess,” You bit your tongue as you kept walking, without turning around because you already knew whose voice it was. “Tired of not being the star of the party?” You clenched your jaw, attempting to ignore the way JJ walked behind you.

“Maybank,” You grunted. “I’m starting to think that you don’t hate me as much as you try to pretend.” You finally turned around to look at him. “Go back to the party. Someone has to serve those drunkards.”

Before you could keep walking, JJ grabbed your arm. “I’m not the one who started off being rude.”

Your eyes widened as much as your mouth. “Get over it, JJ. We were like five years old, and you came up to me the first day in a brusque way, showing me a box of insects. What’s your problem?” You sighed. “I wasn’t the one who said he didn’t want to be around a Kook, right?” Before he could speak, you continued. “Fuck you, JJ Maybank.”

“You insulted my mother.”

“You insulted me, and everyone stopped approaching me because of it.”

“You-.”

Before the both of you could continue arguing, a speeding car stopped next to you. JJ didn’t like what was going on as he quickly grabbed your arm, pulling you closer to him. However, before you could do or say anything, the doors of the car opened, a group of four men coming out with black ski masks on their heads. Two of them were holding a bat, the other was holding a knife, and the last one didn’t hold any weapon.

“Hey, what’s going on?” JJ was quick in asking. His right hand placed on your lower back while his left hand grasped one of your arms, pulling you closer to his body. He was agile enough to push you behind him as the men seemed to shuffle closer in your direction. “What are you doing?”

Your body shook as your hands gripped the back of JJ’s white shirt, terrified by just glancing at the four men who seemed to get even closer. “J,” JJ didn’t know if he had shivered due to the nickname or by the situation in which both of you seemed to be stuck. “What’s going on?” Your voice shook as much as your body did. The Maybank boy just gripped you tighter as he continued placing you behind his body.

“What do you want?” JJ continued asking, hoping that they would answer so he could give them whatever they wanted and leave them alone. “If you want money, I don’t have much, but I will give it to you right now.” One of his hands left your body, taking his wallet out and grabbing a couple of bills. “This is all I gained the last two nights working.” The man who didn’t have any weapon walked closer, abruptly seizing the bills from JJ’s hand. “That’s all we have. She isn’t wearing a purse or pockets. That’s all we have, dude.”

The men continued to get closer. It was in mere seconds when two of the men had pulled you away from the blond boy. You had tried to grab him, and he had done the same, not wanting to be separated from you. However, while two of them grabbed you and pulled you away, the other two did the same with JJ.

You were pushed onto the ground, one of the men getting on top of you as he started maniacally laughing while showing his knife and pulling it close to your face. You started kicking your feet, trying to free yourself from the man. A couple of seconds later passed when the tears started dropping.

JJ had another man on top of him, holding the bat against his neck to keep him on the ground. However, he didn’t seem to care about what was happening to him as his wide eyes followed you. His mouth drying as he yelled. “Let her go!” He attempted to free himself. “You fucking cowards! Four versus two!” The men laughed. “Leave her alone, you fucking motherfuckers.” The Maybank boy received a punch on his cheekbone, and he was sure it would leave a mark. It wasn’t the first time JJ Maybank got hit in that exact place.

Several thoughts invaded your mind. Thoughts terrifying enough to make you shake even more. You had tried not to tremble, hoping to look stronger in front of these men. However, you couldn’t help but furiously tremble.

“Are you going to pee yourself, princess?” The man who sat on top of you laughed. He had pulled his mask up, letting you see his mouth. “Oh, should I call you by your name?” The others laughed along. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Y/N.” It was at that moment when you recognized his voice. Rafe Cameron. Your eyes widened even more as he took the black ski mask off, evilly smirking. Glancing to your side, Topper was the one sitting on top of JJ, and when the blond spat on his face, he received a punch on the stomach. “This is a lesson for you, Y/N.” Rafe made you look at him again. “You are a Kook now. Be proud of it because you don’t want to be a dirty Pogue.”

“I am a Pogue.” You snapped, and the smile left his face. Perhaps because Michael was convinced that you two would make a good couple, which was mostly based on how his business could be better if related to Cameron’s business. Of course, you had refused such an idea. “Always was,” You peeped at JJ. “Always will be.”

Before Rafe could do anything to you, the sound of distant cars made them nervous as they quickly scrambled away, getting in the car and driving again. They demanded both of you to keep silent about the encounter if you wanted to avoid another similar meeting.

A couple of seconds passed, but your body was still shaking from the scare. JJ Maybank called your name multiple times. He didn’t have the strength to move neither, mostly because his stomach was killing him after being punched.

“I’m a Pogue.” You whispered, head moving to glance at the blond boy.

He nodded his head, swallowing. “You are,” He grunted as he sat on the ground, gaze focused on you. “You were, and you will always be.” His voice was soft and inviting. Perhaps that’s what made you crawl to his lap, being embraced by him as one of his arms rested tightly around your waist while his other hand was lost in your hair, pulling you close to his chest as he breathed in.

You sobbed. “I am.” He continued affirming as he rocked his body, pulling you along as he strived to calm you down. His arms pulled you away from his chest as he examined your face and body, making sure that those fuckers hadn’t left any mark on your precious skin. Your eyes met. “That was scary.” He nodded his head, sighing and resting his forehead against yours.

That was the time both of you run to each other. Notwithstanding, you gave the first step, and he gave the second as he embraced you and kissed your naked shoulder. No one would have thought that your lips would meet in short passionate kisses. Those types of kisses you both wanted to make even more intense, wet, intimate, longer. Those kisses where your lips seemed to get attached.

And yeah, as I said, it was the first time you officiallyrun to each other, but not the last.

Johnny Boy - JJ Maybank

John B x sister!reader, JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: you don’t make it out after the shooting at the Cameron’s runway, leaving your death on the shoulders of your friends.

Word count: 2,891

Warnings: Guns, violence, mentions of blood, death and sadness :(

Nothing was ever ‘normal’ in the Pogues’ lives after your brother, John B had brought up the gold of the Royal Merchant. Never in your whole life of living there would you imagine sitting in his van, watching Ward Cameron’s private plane fly right towards you both.

Never in your life would you imagine square groupers shooting at your friends on a boat. Never in your life would you imagine how dangerous a simple treasure hunt truly could be. Never in your life would you imagine yourself lying on a concrete roadway, blood covering your clothes. Never in your whole life would you pictured your life to end so soon. 

You stood outside the van with John B and Sarah, watching as Officer Peterkin forced Ward Cameron onto his knees with his hands above his head. “You’re under arrest for the murder of 'Big John’ Routledge.” You let out a large sigh of relief as your tears welled with tears. John B held you in his arms, rocking you back and forth. “We did it Y/N, we did it.” He grinned down to his sister.

You released your brother, allowing him to comfort Sarah as she watched her father get handcuffs placed on his wrists. Ward pushed away from officer Peterkin, causing her to draw her gun out of her holster. You stepped forward, making sure he wouldn’t be able to run away. John B protected Sarah in his arms, turning her away from the gun.

A loud gunshot echoed through the air, your body experiencing a sharp pain in your chest. “Y/N.” John B whispered from behind you. You and Peterkin locked eyes before looking at each other’s gunshot wounds. You fell to your knees, your chest heaving as you suddenly felt all the air in your body leave your body. 

You remained on your knees for a moment before watching Rafe Cameron appear from behind the plane. John B couldn’t remove his eyes from you, his grip tightening on Sarah, watching you bleed out on the cement. You fell onto your back, the bright blue sky looking more beautiful than ever. 

You heard your brother shuffle towards you and Peterkin. The officer quickly shook her head, “help your sister.” John B fell to his knees, his hand finding the gunshot on your chest and applying pressure to it. “Call!” Peterkin wheezed out loud. Sarah took John B’s place next to you, using your brother’s bandana as something to stop the blood from pouring out.

Sarah hovered over you, “it’s okay Y/N,” she cried out, “it’s gonna be okay.” She tried to reassure you. John B attempted to grab the officer’s radio, only to get it taken by Ward. John B took his spot next to you, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face. A tear rolled down the side of your face as you reached your hand up to cup the side of his face.

“You need to go find everyone.” You said, your voice barely audible. He shook his head, his tears already spilling out of his eyes. “No, please you’re all I have left of our family.” He begged, his hands shaking. You carefully reached up and untied the bandana that was around your neck. When John B bought his first bandana, he got you a red one knowing that was your favorite color.

You grabbed onto his hand, placing the fabric into his palm. He clutched it in his hand and held it to his heart. “I love you Y/N.” He sobbed, resting your head in his lap. “Dad and I will be watching over you. You’ve been the best brother I could ever ask for. I love you Johnny boy.” You said, having a feeling these words would be the last ones you would say to him.

He leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead before running away. He hesitated and did a double take to look at you before booking it away from the scene. Sarah fell to her knees next to you, her hand holding your head up. 

 "I’m gonna die aren’t I?“ You asked mindlessly, your mind thinking about your boyfriend JJ. Sarah sobbed at your question. She held onto your hand, "no, no it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay and John B is gonna be okay. You got this.” She tried to reassure you.

“Sarah, please don’t break my brother’s heart. He really loves you.” You admitted, feeling as if your body was burning. Your mouth had gone dry and you couldn’t stop coughing as blood filled your lungs. Your eyes slowly started to flutter shut, Sarah gently shook your head. “I won’t Y/N, please just stay with me!” “Tell JJ I love him.” Was the last thing you said before giving into the bright light that shines above you.

______________________

“Y/N Routledge?” John B, Sarah and the rest of the Pogues all stood up from their chairs, all of them tapping their feet. “We’re so sorry for your loss.” The words easily left the doctors mouth, but impaled everyone’s hearts. 

JJ felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him as he reached to sit down in his chair so he wouldn’t fall over. “Wh-what?” Was all his mouth could say. 

“She was losing too much blood, as soon as she was injured there was no going back. We tried everything we could.” The doctor explained.

Pope held onto Kiara as they both began to cry. Losing someone who was like a sister to them, someone who would drop whatever she was doing and go spend time with them. Someone who made so many memories with them, and they’re gone now.

JJ put his hand on John B’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. JB’s mouth had fallen open, “no, no that can’t be right.” John B spoke as he shook his friends hand off of his shoulder.

“JB-” He cut JJ off, “No! No! She was supposed to grow up with me! She promised when we grow older she would help me plan my wedding with Sarah, help me find a house, she promised me. She-she can’t be gone.” He sobbed loudly as his body suddenly felt weak. 

John B stood there after his shout, his body felt like static. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream so loudly it’d break glass, he wanted to make the pain go away. But all he could do was stand there, he didn’t want to believe this was it. 

_________________________________

The funeral

John B took in everyone’s appearance as they gathered around the hole that held the wooden casket. Black. Black dresses, black shirts and pants, everything was dead. The only family you had that cared about you was John B, Sarah, and your Pogues you considered family as well. No one there had not been able to stop crying, none of them had gotten sleep. 

John B twirled a single white rose in his hand before reaching down and placing it in the hole in the ground. His free hand clenched the bandana you had given him in his hand. The brother had his friends around him, all of them putting rose’s on the lid of your casket.

John B asked JJ to speak about you, knowing he wouldn’t be able to speak once he stood up there. JJ didn’t want to lie, he was terrified. Not of public speaking, but if he spoke about you then he would realize you were actually dead. But there he stood at a wooden stand, in front of a small crowd of people.

His hands clutched onto the sides of the stand, so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He had attempted to write out what he wanted to say on paper, but he could never get the words right of what he wanted to say.

“My name is JJ Maybank, and Y/N Routledge is- was my girlfriend. She wasn’t only my girlfriend, but my best friend. My whole life I was making stupid decisions, hanging out with the wrong crowd, not doing well in school, etc. But she was right by my side to help me through all my mistakes and failures. She was always there to be a shoulder to cry on and a person to hug. She would always let me lay my head in her lap and she would play with my hair when she knew something was up with me.” His voice wavered as he looked up to the sky to hold back his tears.

“Y/N Routledge was not only a beautiful woman, but she had a heart of gold. She had a soul so pure Angel’s are jealous they can’t have that sort of kindness. She put people before herself, but always knew when to focus on herself. She would drop everything she was going and run to her brother or any of her friends if they needed her help. I hate having to use past tense- I never thought her life would be taken so soon.” JJ mumbled the last part as a tear slipped from his eye.

“I wish I could have saved her- I should have saved her. And I’m sorry I let you all down because here we are. Y/N Routledge was and will forever be in our hearts, our memories, our lives no matter what. I have cherished so many moments with her that I know I will never forget. She’s the love of my life, and I wish we all could have had our happily ever afters.”

________________________________

After the funeral

John B walked up to JJ with a folded piece of paper in his hand. “Y/N left this for you.” JJ’s throat tightened as he took the paper out of his friends hand. “How did you find this?” “It was in her desk drawer.”

“She left one for all of us.” John B said before walking away from him. JJ hesitantly opened the paper as he began to read it.

“Dear JJ,

Hi my love. If you’re reading this, that means something happened to me and I died. I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I know one thing you’re thinking is 'why did she write this?’ Ever since the first encounter with the square groupers shooting at us in the marsh, I know life here at the OBX was not going to be easy. So I started writing this incase something were to happen to me. I pray to God that you never actually have to read this, but you never know. But I do know you, and I know you’re probably blaming yourself. JJ listen, do not blame yourself over anything that happens to me. You were the love of my life, the reason I woke up everyday with a smile. My whole life I only felt true love when I was with you, and I will never forget those feelings you gave me, and I hope you don’t forget the feelings I gave you. Thank you for being my partner and crime, my best friend, my love, and my life. Please take care of yourself, don’t let this stop you from living your life, I don’t want you guys mourning. This is life, people come and go, everything will be okay in the end. If anyone could have saved me, it would have been you. Because you, JJ Maybank, have saved me from everything else.

Your love,

Y/N Routledge♡

JJ ripped his eyes away from the paper as he let out a loud cry. He read the whole thing in your voice. He could practically hear every tone you would have used if you actually read that aloud. He felt broken, he felt lost, he wanted you back so badly. But sadly, there’s nothing to fix the fact that your journey has already come to an end.

The other letters:

Dear Kiara,

My big ball of energy, and confidence! God I wish I didn’t have to write this, but every day may be the last and I want you to hear my words. You, my best friend, are such an amazing person. When I first met you and found out you were a Kook, I thought you would hate me. But you Kiara Carrera, were nothing what I expected you to be. When my brother introduced me to you, I knew we would become best friends. Not because my brother made us but because you are one of my favorite people ever. You never failed to make me smile, you always talked to me when I needed you, you’ve helped me make so many memories and I will forever be thankful for you. When I first saw you smile I felt this warm vibe radiating off of you. I felt absolutely blessed to be able to view you as a sister. You always showed me love, you stood up for me, you made me laugh when I needed it. In my eyes you are a complete angel, and I know sometimes you doubt that, but I want you to know that nothing will change what we think about you. I’m sorry I left so soon, I wanted to be able to go to the bar with you and maybe even move in together. Thank you for everything you have done for John B and I, I will forever be grateful for you. I love you so much hun, always and forever♡

With much love, 

Y/N Routledge

__________________________

Dear Pope,

I watched you grow up since you met my brother back in elementary school, and I’m proud of you, so fucking proud. You have not only grown but matured while still acting like the dork you are. I remember on my 14th birthday you didn’t know what to get me so you asked JJ and John B for opinions. Then you showed up to my house with a basket of all my favorite foods. That was the night I got sick from eating too much :) you have done so much for me, from bringing me good when I was on my period to literally pulling me out of a well in the basement of some creepy lady. I know you’re gonna do amazing things with your life, I know you’re aching to get into college with scholarships. I know for a fact that you will get into anything you put your mind to because you are the smartest person I have ever met. Don’t give up Pope, you got this.♡

Love you so much,

Y/N Routledge

________________________________

Dear Sarah,

When I first met you, I thought you were just another Kook that loved showing off daddy’s money, but I was so wrong and I apologize for that. You have been nothing but an angel to my family of Pogues. You have made me laugh so easily when I needed it. You took my mind off of things that hurt me. You drove us around town at 2 in the morning because we both couldn’t sleep. I can’t even tell you how thankful I am to know you’re dating my brother, he’s in good hands. He really does love you, you know. He always grins whenever your name comes up in conversation, he will defend you in a heartbeat if he has to. Please take care of his heart. I know we only recently became friends, but I just want you to know I appreciate everything you have done for me. You have a heart of gold, Sarah Cameron, never change for anyone. ♡

Sending love,

Y/N Routledge

__________________________________

Dear Johnny Boy,

John B, I’m so sorry you’re reading this. I wish there was some way I could prevent you from ever reading this but life throws wild cards at you from every position. Johnny you were my best friend in the whole world. Since we were born you and I have been attached by the heart. I feel so honored to have watched you grow up into who you are today. An intelligent, kind, loving, and handsome teenager. You have such a bright future ahead of you and you are going to absolutely own your life. I am so happy you found Sarah before something happened to me, I know Sarah will do anything to show you she loves you. You are the best brother anyone could ask for. You’re my favorite person to go to the playground with, my favorite person to watch horror and sci fi movies with, my favorite person to binge eat all of the food in the fridge. You have helped me through it all even from a young age. Thank you for that. I’m sorry dad hasn’t seen you grow and develop within these last few months, but I know he would be proud of you, of us. I’ll tell him you said hi when I see him. Take care of the Pogues and yourself please. I want to see all of you thrive in the future, okay? Promise to me and yourself that you will wake up every day, drink water, and eat. I love you Johnny boy. Forever and always. Thank you for being the best brother ever♡

Love your favorite (and only) sister,

Y/N Routledge

A Beautiful Somewhere II Chapter One

Series Masterlist x OBX MasterlistxFull MasterlistxSeries Summary

Chapter One — Who we are and who we were 

Chapter Summary: On her first night back on the OBX in over 4 years, Stevie finds herself trying to come to terms with all the things that have changed since she’s left. Like her living situation, the fact that Kie seems to hate her and — well JJ. 

E. E. Cummings once wrote “For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)

it’s always ourselves we find in the sea”

Wave upon crashing wave, Stevie’s eyes trail across the ocean before her as it keeps swallowing times long gone only to spit them back out like fragments of memories buried somewhere in the furthest corner of her heart.

Maybe, she thinks, he was right. Maybe she is out there, desperately trying to keep her head above the water, thrashing, and fighting and holding on to hope that one of these waves that try so desperately to drown her, will carry her to shore. To safety. To herself.

But maybe, the her out there on the sea, struggling and helpless, maybe that her is but a memory. A fragment of a life long gone. A ghost haunting the last place it’s still connected to, trying to keep the last few strings from snapping that still tie it to this world.

Maybe she’s regarding the same ocean with the same eyes, feels the same sand against her bare feet as she buries her toes in it. Maybe the air smells like the past and like home. And maybe things are familiar. Maybe everything is just the way it’s always been.

Everything but her.

Or maybe everything is different.

Dawn casts its golden glow across the beach and for a moment it feels like time stops as if to tell her to take a breath. Take one big breath. Just one. And then face the day. All of it, as it tries to pull you under.

And so she takes a breath. Salty ocean air and home fill her lungs and flood her mind with pictures of another blond girl, young and invincible and naive. Maybe, Stevie thinks, maybe if she’d taken a breath then, maybe things would’ve turned out differently.

She gathers her bag, slips her sandy toes back into her sandals, and gets off the ground, every step taking her away from the sea and back towards her bike and back towards the house. Her mother’s house. The new one.

It stands grand and intimidating with its crisp white walls and its ornamental railings. The grass is cut to perfection, the palms get exchanged for a new one if they ever dare to wilt or wither. Everything is perfect and if it isn’t it gets replaced.

There’s a metaphor somewhere in there, she’s sure. Something connecting this plastic palace to her inner turmoil. She’s in no shape to figure that one out though. Not today. Maybe not ever.

“ Where have you been? “

She’s barely stopped her bicycle by the garage when her sister’s voice cuts through the early morning quiet.

“ The beach. Why? “

“ Mom’s freaking out. Something about napkin colors, I don’t know. Honestly, Stevie if I have to look at yet another identical shade of blue I will off myself. Throw myself straight off of the balcony. “

“ Oh, but how will they ever scrub your blood off the marble? “

“ So funny. “

“ I get my sense of humor from dad. “

“ Clearly. “

There’s that expression again, the one that always ghosts across Sidney’s face whenever someone brings up their dad. If people didn’t know, they probably wouldn’t notice, but Stevie knows. She’s so familiar with that ghost of an expression, sees it reflected on her own face sometimes.

“ He called me the other day, by the way. Says to tell you he loves you. Wants us to come around for Christmas. “

“ Sure he does”, the older girl says and shrugs her shoulders in a way that’s supposed to look nonchalant and casual but Stevie knows her shoulders must hold the weight of half the world.

“ You should talk to him. He really has changed, Sid.”

A loaded static settles between the girls, pregnant with words unsaid, begging and pleading to finally cross over and fall from someone’s lips, and yet they are being swallowed over and over again. Cursed to forever be the “what we should have said” in the girls’ story.

“ Have you seen any of your friends yet? “

It’s a low blow. They both know. Sidney has that twinkle in her eyes that tells you she knows she won this round even if she had to use unfair tactics. Even if she had to put her fingers right into the wound. Twist and turn a bit. Just enough to open it back up.

“ Nope. “

“ Do they know you’re back? “

“ Miss Lana saw me get off the ferry, you think there’s anyone on this whole damn island who doesn’t know by now? “

“ So you didn’t tell them? “

Oh if only she stayed a little longer in her little moment by the beach with no one to answer to but herself and the roaring of the ocean and the song of the seagulls.

“ Look, it’s not like they checked up on me in the last few years so — “

“ You’re gonna run into them sooner or later. “

“ That’s fine. “

“ You’re gonna run into him. “

Maybe, Stevie thinks, maybe Sidney doesn’t have to throw herself off of the balcony to escape their mother’s wedding craze. Maybe Stevie will have mercy on her, strangle her right here right now, and put them both out of their misery. What is it with sisters and their incessant need to voice the exact thoughts you try so hard not to think about?

“ Little Collins! “ Richard’s voice bellows from the living room as Stevie and Sid make their way inside. “ Where have you been, kiddo.”

The girls share a look. Richard is — nice. Nice enough. He tries to be involved, tries to show interest in them both. What he fails to realize is that the two of them are not children anymore. They’ve made it through 22 and 24 years of life respectively, with a dad who was gone more often than he was present. Maybe back then they could’ve used a substitute father. Now though? Not so much. There’s a point in your life where your daddy issues stop being issues and become part of who you are, like a beauty mark or a scar or a chipped tooth from jumping off a swing and losing your footing. At least that’s how Stevie sees it.

Richard is nice, but he’s not her dad, nor will he ever be, nor does he have to be.

“ If I’m little Collins, who are you? Big Collins? Medium-sized Collins?“ Stevie whispers through the side of her mouth, just barely loud enough for her sister to hear.

“ Ugh, Sid Vicious. “

“ No, “ Stevie gasps though she can’t hold back the amused chuckle pushing its way past her lips.

“ Mmmh. But hey, he’s a nice guy, and if this is his only quirk that’s fine with me. Also, it’s just this summer, then you and I will leave again and only have to deal with his dumb nicknames on like Christmas or weddings or funerals. Maybe some birthdays. “

It’s true. Their mom could’ve chosen a lot worse. At least Richard tries and he seems to really love their mom, so what’s a few annoying quirks in the big picture?

“Talking about birthdays…” Sid starts, dragging out the word birthdays in a way that makes Stevie acutely aware that what follows is not something she’ll particularly like. “There’s a party tonight at Topper’s place. “

“Is it his birthday?”

“No but I saw a chance to segue into the topic and I took it. Anyway, I was thinking we could go.”

“To Topper’s party? Sid, him and his friends are the same guys that used to bully us back in high school simply for the fact we weren’t as rich as them,” Stevie exclaims, an unease settling in her bones. And yeah, maybe it was about the fact that the kooks had been especially hard on them during their teen years, but maybe part of it was tied to something else. Someone else.

“Things have changed, Stevie. We’re all older and wiser.”

“Topper is wiser?” Stevie questions making the two girls laugh at how ridiculous this conversation actually is.

“Okay maybe not wiser, but he’s actually nice now. And hey, we’re technically kooks now too. Our house is one of the biggest on figure 8.”

It’s true. Technically. Their mother’s new house, the one she moved into with Richard, is newly built. Pristine and fancy and so fucking big. The living room alone seems grander than their entire old house. It’s not home though. And it’s not them.

As far as she is concerned, Stevie will never be a kook, and will never consider herself or her sister one. Being a Pogue is a way of life, an attitude. Money doesn’t change nothing about it. Once a pogue always a pogue.

“Look I know you’re worried about what’s gonna happen when you run into your friends but it’s gonna happen sooner or later. This island isn’t big enough to outrun them. So why not rip off the bandaid and get it over with?”

“Maybe that’s not the kind of person I am,” Stevie replies, shrugging her shoulders to underline her words “ maybe I’d rather soak the bandaid in water until my skin goes all wrinkly and it falls off by itself?”

Sidney scoffs at her younger sister’s words “you’re being so fucking dramatic.”

“I’m a writer Sid. I’m supposed to be dramatic. It’s literally my job.”

“Yeah well, it’s my job as an older sister to keep you from barricading yourself in your room all summer just because you’re afraid to see your ex-boyfriend. I’m putting my foot down, you’re coming with me tonight!”

… yeah ex-boyfriend.

Sometimes she feels bad for keeping secrets. Especially from Sidney. Sid who would have a stern talk with her but who would never judge her harshly or unfairly. But some secrets you keep so close to your heart, sharing them, speaking them out loud feels a little like ripping open your chest and inviting people to hurt you.

Sometimes the guilt gets so bad it leads her to make stupid decisions.

Like saying yes to her sister.

Like going to a kook party.

The smell of cheap beer and sweat permeates the air as it does for most house parties, especially in summer.

There’s a bunch of people she remembers from high school. Faces so familiar from passing them in the halls for years but faces she is unable to match to a name.

Kooks and Pogues all kind of mingle with each other, differences still clearly displayed but something seems to have shifted. Maybe things have changed after all. Maybe getting older brings a kind of wisdom that outgrows the antiquated beliefs of a war between two social groups.

“So, what drinks are we feeling? Beer? Mixed?” Sidney asks, her gaze wandering over the crowd trying to take it all in and possibly looking for some of her old friends. Unlike Stevie, her older sister has managed to keep them close even with time and distance working against them.

“Uh, beer sounds good.”

10 minutes later, Stevie stands by the side of the pool watching two couples playing chicken fight, while grasping a can of cold beer in her hand. Sid is off mingling with her old buddies leaving Stevie by herself. For a moment …

“So,” a voice speaks up from beside her “when Sarah said she thought she saw you tonight I didn’t believe her at first. Couldn’t believe my oldest friend was back on the island and didn’t even give me a call or anything.”

“You said it, man. You’re my oldest friend. Took me 22 years and I still can’t manage to get rid of you.”

They share a laugh, knowing their teasing really comes from a place of infinite love. The kind you hold for only your oldest friends. Your brothers and sisters basically.

“Missed you, Stevie,” John says, his deep voice taking on a tone of seriousness before throwing his arms around her shoulder and placing a kiss on her head. “Missed you a whole fucking lot.”

John B. has been part of her life for as long as Stevie can remember. They only lived a few houses apart and their parents got along quite well.

Big John was always a mystery to Stevie. He was funny and warm and he seemed to have so much knowledge of so many things. But he was also reckless and sometimes irresponsible.

For a while, she wished that maybe he could be what her father never was but that silly fantasy soon dissolved when she realized just how much John B. was left alone.

Maybe bonding over daddy issues isn’t the most healthy bonding method of all but shared trauma makes you grow so much closer than anything else can.

John B. is her best friend and as he pulls her closer and ruffles her hair the way an annoying brother would, her heart aches for all the time she’s missed by her own stupid decisions.

“Missed you too.”

It’s freaky how sometimes you can fall back into a friendship so easily as if you were never separated. Not by time and not by distance.

John B. holds so many of her memories that not loving him is not an option at this point and she thanks whatever higher power someone might choose to believe in, that he has forgiven her. Or maybe he understands. Maybe he gets it like he always used to do. No words needed.

He deserves an apology though. But not here. Not with so many people around. Some conversations are meant for quiet places and quiet hearts.

“The others here too?”

She tries to be nonchalant, suave, like it doesn’t matter. It does though. It makes all the difference.

Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve missed someone until you’re comforted with the memories of times long gone. And then your heart starts yearning.

“Uh, just Sarah. Kie is helping out at the Wreck while she’s here for the summer. Pope just got back earlier today so he’s hanging with the parents. ”

He doesn’t mention the one person left of their little friend group. She wonders if it’s out of bitterness towards her or if he’s worried it’ll hurt her feelings.

She knows asking him will be painful and that maybe she won’t like the answer but sometimes it is easier to break your own heart than have it slowly crumble from what-ifs and made-up scenarios.

“What about JJ?”

“He’s uh - he’s working late today.”

“JJ is working late? Where’s he working at?”

“The shack.”

“The shack? You say that like I’m supposed to know what that is.”

John B. lets out a chuckle. “When my dad passed away I received a bit of money. JJ and I bought the shack by the beach and turned it into a place to rent boards and get surf lessons and stuff like that. We’re trying to focus on providing a space for the youth of the island, give them something to do, a perspective.”

“Something we never had.”

“Yeah. Well some of us.”

She can tell by his eyes that he doesn’t speak the words in resentment, they’re just nostalgia-clouded truth.

“He had a graduation thing for one of his classes tonight so they went out and had a little ceremony to get their certificates. He’ll be around later though, we’re meeting up at the wreck later.”

“I’m proud of you, John. I really am. Tell the pogues I said hi.”

“Tell ‘em yourself! You’re obviously coming.”

He says it as if it’s a given. As if it doesn’t come with years of missed calls and painful memories.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Fuck that, Stevie. We all missed you. Yeah, Kie might be a bit salty but just cuddle up to her a little and she’ll forgive you. She missed you. We all did.”

“Not all of you.”

John B. doesn’t reply. Really she doesn’t know what she expects him to say either. He wasn’t there. Not for the meltdown, the big explosion. He was there to see the rubble and the ruins. All the shattered parts of their relationship.

Years of love scattered across a battlefield like casualties of a war neither she nor JJ knew they were fighting.

“That’s not true. It’s been years. He misses you too. He loved you, Stevie. That doesn’t just go away because of a fight.”

“That wasn’t a fight, that was a fucking nightmare.”

He scoffs at her words and finishes his beer “Still, he missed you. And anyway, I want to hang out. If nothing else, you owe me that.”

And he knows he’s got a point, judging by the smirk playing on his face. She could never say no to John B. especially not when he pulled out the puppy dog eyes.

“Okay yeah, I’ll come. For you!”

“Yeah alright, I can live with that.”

The Wreck feels like home.

Stepping into the place feels like stepping back into a past she thought she had forgotten a while ago.

Music plays softly in the background as the laughter of her friends echoes through the halls.

My god, how much she’s missed them all.

She spots them before they catch sight of her. Pope is sat by the counter, while JJ leans next to him looking so effortlessly cool.

He hasn’t changed all that much in the last few years. His messy hair is still the same shade of sunny golden blond and it still sticks up all over the place. His tanned arms still send a shiver through her.

And his laugh? His laugh still makes her heart skip a beat or two. Show wonders if that will ever change.

Maybe that’s the thing about giving your heart to someone else, they never give all of it back. A little part will always be theirs.

Sarah and John B. Step in first, greeting their friends with warm words and tight hugs. It’s been a while for them too since they’ve all been together.

Something about this feels so awfully familiar and yet like it happened to someone else, a long long time ago.

“ No fucking way!”

It’s Pope who spots her first. A wide grin takes over his face as he runs up to her and pulls her into a tight hug. Maybe, she thinks, her friends are more forgiving than she has given them credit for.

“Surprise, we brought a friend!” Sarah exclaims and throws her arms up in celebration.

As Pope pulls away, another pair of arms wrap around her. Big and tight and familiar. So warm. Like home.

He smells like the ocean and sunscreen and a little bit like smoke. And she doesn’t want to let go. Even with everything that happened, his arms feel like the most comforting place in the entire world. Like this is the only place where time stopped and she is still 18 and in love.

It’s terrifying.

It’s wonderful.

She knows things are not going back to how they used to be. She knows this doesn’t fix what has been broken. But for a small moment, she lets herself relish in memories of how it used to be.

“Missed you, sunshine,” he murmurs. His voice is missing the familiar honey glaze that always seemed to swing along with his words. She misses it but what did she expect? It’s still nice to hear him speak.

“I missed you too, Bree.”

And she really did. The blue of his eyes that rivals the sky on its most sunny day. The dimple in his cheek that gives him a sense of mischief and innocence both at the same time. His stupid messy hair and his smile and his laugh and the way he’d touch her side to show her he’s there without saying a single word.

But as she looks at him, when he pulls away, she’s also looking into the eyes of the boy who broke her heart forever. Yeah, she may have been able to reassemble it, but the cracks are still there. Bandaged and glued but never back to how it used to be.

The friends all gather around the table by the window, all other customers long gone and the place closed up for anyone other than the group.

They ask her questions, enquire about her life and talk about theirs as they all sip from their beers and stuff their faces with greasy delicious leftovers from today’s menu.

Well … most of them.

Kie hasn’t said a single word to her since Stevie stepped into the Wreck. She’s stood by the counter, washing and drying dishes and trying desperately to avoid eye contact with Stevie.

Stevie’s heart feels heavy. Like an anchor has been wrapped around it and thrown into the sea. She knows cutting Kie out of her life was a shitty thing to do. Kie didn’t deserve that. None of them did. JJ’s actions broke her, not those of her friends.

Stevie knows she fucked up and though all she did came from a place of self-preservation and pain, it doesn’t make it any better

“Hey Turtle,” the blonde approaches Kie, eyes sad and hands shaking slightly from anxiety. She knows Kie has every right to deny her any reaction. To not accept her apology. She just doesn’t know if she can take the rejection.

“What are you doing here?” Kie asks, eyes still trained on the dishes, words sharp and cold like the sun on a winter morning.

“My mom is getting married this summer. I’m back to help her with the preparations and shit.”

“That’s right. Saw them move her stuff out of your old house and onto figure 8. Big ass house you’ve got now.”

“Mmh. Yeah, it’s pretty grand. ”

“Must be nice. Fuck off for 4 years and come back to a palace.”

It’s like a dagger straight to the chest. Kie knows and Stevie knows that it was deliberate. The words were meant to sting. Meant to hurt. But if it means Kie will get her anger out and maybe think about forgiving her, Stevie will take it.

“Kie, I’m sorry.”

“For what? Leaving and not even saying goodbye? Turning JJ into a mess for a while? Not ever texting or calling or anything even though we’ve been friends since forever? What exactly are you sorry about, Stephanie?”

“Oooh hitting me with the whole name? Look Kie, I’m sorry about everything. What I did sucked. That was horrible and you guys didn’t deserve that. I should’ve stayed in contact and I wish I did.”

“Then why didn’t you? What happened with JJ and you that was so bad you forgot about us?”

Their mess is no one’s business but their own. She doesn’t want to talk about it, the wound might not be open anymore but the scar still burns. It’s something she needs to discuss with JJ first before anyone else. If anything.

“Look Kie, it doesn’t matter. But I need you to know that I never forgot about you. I kept up with everything you did and I am so proud. Every fundraiser you set up I donated to. Every petition I signed. I buy every magazine or newspaper that talks about your nature conservation efforts, multiple times. Fuck, I even made a fake insta to follow you. I never forgot about you. Ever.”

Tears are shining in Kie’s eyes as she places the wet plate down and looks up at her blond friend for the first time in 4 years.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that.”

“Yeaaah. I know that. You think you can forgive me anyway?”

“I think I can be persuaded if you promise me an entire day, just us. No boys. No drama.”

“I think I can do that.”

And just like that she’s wrapped up in the arms of her best friend and life feels a little more right again. She feels a little more like herself again.

The night is filled with laughter and nostalgia. A picture of what should be. A snapshot of what is. For one sweet moment, one fleeting night.

Things won’t stay this way forever. The end is looming just around the corner.

But for now, they can let their hearts rest and relish in the glow of an infinite summer.

The air inside the car is thick with words unspoken and feelings that still brew beneath the surface. Never really forgotten. Always there.

JJ asked to drive her home and though she told him there was no need, he insisted.

“I like your new car,” Stevie exclaims. She thinks her voice sounds strained and awkward but maybe that’s just her nerves speaking. Lulling lies in her ears.

“Thanks. Was a pile of rust when I bought it. Used the money I earned from the Shack to build it back up.”

He smiles with a pride she’s not used to seeing in him. Sure, he always had an ego and a big mouth but most of his pride was but a shield to shelter him from pain. Being vulnerable was not an option to him back then. Not when your own home is a battlefield.

“That’s so cool. John B. told me about the Shack. That’s amazing, JJ. So proud of you.”

“Yeah,” he says and shrugs his shoulders, eyes trained on the road before them, “ thought since you went out and made something of yourself I should try and do the same.”

“JJ, I know you never liked me saying it, but I’ve always been proud of you.”

He doesn’t say anything. He never liked talking about his insecurities and the feelings he tried to shove to the furthest, darkest corner of his heart.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just wanted you to know that.”

They continue driving for a few more minutes in a silence that is tiptoeing on the rope between comfortable and awkward. The one that comes with having known someone so well, so intimately, and then not having talked for a long time. What if the boy she used to love isn’t there anymore. What if this is a stranger?

Judging by the tiny smile pulling at the corners of his lips, the boy she knew is still in there somewhere. Hidden and changed but not entirely gone.

“Holy shit,” JJ exclaims as they pull up to the house. “That’s a fancy-ass place, Stevie.”

“Full kook.”

“Hell yeah.”

Her heart grows heavy as her mind reminds her of something. A little Manila envelope. One that doesn’t weigh anything really but metaphorically it weighs as much as the entire fucking world.

Maybe she can become the kind of person to rip the band-aid off. A band-aid that’s been there for 4 years already. Maybe once it’s off, the scar won’t be so noticeable, so prominent, so painful still.

“JJ um - can you wait here for a second. I got something I need to give you.”

“I - yeah sure. No biggie.”

She nods, words forsaking her as her heart beats too fast, too loud and her tongue feels as heavy as lead.

Not once do her hands stop shaking as she makes her way to what’s her room at the moment, pulls the envelope from her suitcase, and rushes back down towards JJ.

This might kill their summer. Their friendship as it is being rebuilt. This might change everything. But things have been broken ever since that night 4 years ago. Ever since he chose to do what he did.

“Here you go.”

Her voice is timid, hardly more than a whisper as she hands him the envelope through the open car window.

JJ regards it with confusion and uncertainty clouding his beautiful blue eyes. “What’s that?”

“Take one big breath. Just one. And then face your life, all of it. As the waves try to pull you under.” Her mantra from earlier in the day ghosts through her head.

And so she takes a breath. And looks up at him. And speaks.

“JJ, they’re our divorce papers.”

‘The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back’

– Melanie Carmichael (Sweet Home Alabama, 2002)

Stevie hasn’t been back to the Outer Banks in 4 years. Ever since the atomic meltdown happened between her and JJ. The one they don’t talk about. The one that still has them hurting 4 years later.

When she finds herself back on the island to help her mother with the wedding preparations, she doesn’t expect for an ocean of memories, unspoken words, suppressed feelings and wrong decisions to come crashing down on her like a tidal wave.

What happens when old mistakes are being discovered, A love long forgotten is being remembered and a pristine A4 size manila envelope holds the key to Stevie and JJ’s future?

A Beautiful Somewhere Chapter 1 coming Friday Feb 18th.

Sorry, this one is a bit short! It’s because the next one is going to be long, also there’s only one more part + an epilogue!

Series summary:Eleanor is new to the outer banks, and the pogues are quick to take her in. But so are the kooks, and as she grows closer with Rafe, trouble emerges. Trying to balance her relationship with the pogues and the kooks, as well as dealing with her own personal problems, Eleanor falls into a hole she may not be able to dig herself out of.

Chapter Word Count: 2140

Chapter Warnings: Hospitals

Previous Parts: Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3Ch. 4Ch. 5Ch. 6Ch. 7 Ch. 8

Taglist:@prejudic3@maragritatimebaybee @drewxxrudy@outerbankslove@bricksatanakinswindow@alexa-playafricabytoto@gigi-june

“I don’t think this is a good idea, JJ.”

“Kiara, he almost killed her. He almost fucking killed her.” JJ was fuming in the front seat of John B’s van. The five of them were currently on the way to figure 8, more specifically, the Cameron residence. 

“JJ’s right, Kie. I’ve had enough of Rafe fucking with my friends.” John B’s eyes were fixated on the road, but everyone knew his thoughts weren’t focused.

He pulled into the driveway and Sarah jumped out first, the pogues trailing behind her. Kiara and Pope hung slightly back, not entirely comfortable with the idea of a fight. Even though they both agreed that Rafe deserved to get his ass kicked, it wasn’t often that he was without Topper and Kelce. 

They learned quickly that Rafe wasn’t alone as he burst through the front door, his two friends just behind him. Topper glared, but Kiara could see a sliver of worry in Rafe’s eyes. Worry for Ellie, or worry about getting in trouble, she wondered.

JJ didn’t hesitate. “You fucking prick!” He yelled, lunging toward the closest kook boy, his fist connecting with bone. But JJ wasn’t thinking clearly, he wasn’t focused like he normally was during fights, this time he was overcome with anger and it was easy for Rafe to hit him back and eventually straddle him to the ground.

“Don’t come around my place acting all mighty and strong, you dirty pogue,” Rafe spat in his face. John B stepped forward to pull Rafe off, but Topper stood in front of him, giving him a shove back.

“You deserve to fucking die,” JJ snarled, his hands wrapped tightly around Rafe’s arms as he struggled to get out of his hold. “You left her alone. You left her alone to die!”

Topper’s fist froze in midair, and Kelce, who had yet to move anyways, took a step back. “What’s he talking about, Rafe?” Kelce asked.

“Nothing,” He mumbled, loosening his grip on JJ. 

JJ managed to push him off of him, flipping the boy over so he was now pinned against the ground. “Causing your girlfriend to overdose isn’t what I would classify as nothing.”

“Ellie overdosed?” For once, Topper sounded genuine. The two kook boys actually did care a lot about Ellie, they had grown quite close to her and to hear Rafe had hurt her upset the both of them.

“Yeah, she did,” Sarah said, stepping towards where JJ and Rafe still sat on the ground. She motioned for JJ to move and he did, and Rafe stood up to face her. “You idiot-” She jabbed her finger into Rafe’s chest. “-Got her hooked on cocaine. You know her mom’s a fucking addict? That’s why she lives with her uncle. And you got her addicted. Are you stupid?” 

Kelce moved away from Rafe, looking at him in shock. “What the fuck, bro.”

Pope continued where Sarah left off. “You think you’d be smart enough to at least not push her limits. But obviously not, since she’s now unconscious at the hospital, after they found her ALONE, SEIZING in your room, Rafe. Why would you leave her?”

“I called the ambulance,” Rafe mumbled.

“Yeah, and it was almost too late. Any longer and she probably would have died,” Kiara told him, not even able to look him in the eyes.

Topper was still staring at the ground in front of him. “I had no idea she was doing drugs.”

“She wasn’t, till she got with Rafe,” John B sneered.

“She’s still unconscious?” Kelce’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “Can we see her?”

JJ froze, obviously not knowing how to respond. He didn’t like Kelce and Topper, got in fights with them often, but their reactions seemed genuine and they did spend a lot of time with Ellie. He glanced at Kiara, urging her to answer the question for him.

She nodded. “You two can. HIm, though-” She motioned to Rafe. “Absolutely not. I don’t even want to see him outside of the hospital.”

Rafe nodded, his eyes wide and frantic. He looked crazy, worried, and paranoid, and that was when JJ realized he wasn’t even sober. His girlfriend just overdosed, and he was still getting high.

Kiara’s phone rang, and she stepped to the side. JJ stepped closer to Rafe. “I think it’d be a good idea for you to stay away from Ellie from now on.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Rafe kicked at the ground, turning to go into the house. “Keeping me away from my own goddamn girlfriend, yeah,” He mumbled just loud enough to be heard.

“I doubt she’s your girlfriend anymore. I got a feeling she’s gonna want to stay a long way away from you,” Sarah said.

Rafe scoffed. “Top, Kelce, you coming? Fuck the pogues.”

“Nah, man, we’re gonna go see Ellie,” Topper told him.

Kiara stepped back into the group. “Perfect timing. She just woke up.”

—

The pogues, plus Topper and Kelce, rushed to the hospital and through the halls. Travis was leaned against the wall outside of Ellie’s room, his eyes closed slightly as he hummed.

“Hey, kids,” He said, hearing their loud footsteps approaching. He opened his eyes and turned. “Topper and Kelce. Didn’t expect you two with this crowd.” His eyes narrowed and he scanned the group. “Rafe isn’t here, is he?”

JJ shook his head. “No sir. We made sure he wouldn’t come, I hope that was the right thing to do…” JJ trailed off nervously, still not entirely sure how Ellie’s uncle felt about the situation even though Rafe had almost killed his niece.

“No, that’s good. We don’t want to see him around here anytime soon,” He said, nodding. He turned to Kelce and Topper. “You two weren’t involved with this, were you?”

Kelce’s eyes widened. “No, no! We had no idea she was doing coke. She never did it around us.”

Travis nodded once again. “Alright. Well, you guys can go in and see her. She’s been asking for you. There’s no limit anymore since she’s awake, so all of you can go in, but please, try not to overwhelm her.” His gaze was aimed towards John B and JJ with that last statement.

JJ entered the room first, and the smile that spread across Ellie’s face caused his heart to flutter. She already looked so much better, there was color in her skin and her eyes were bright. She lifted her hand up in a small wave and he went to return the favor but was interrupted by John B slamming into his back. 

“Why’d you stop man- Oh hi Ellie!” 

She giggled at John B, and JJ swore it was the most beautiful thing he ever heard. He had been terrified he would never hear that laugh again, and every sound that came out of her now felt like a blessing.

The rest of the group piled into the room, which was way too small for all of them, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind. Her smile just grew wider and wider as they piled in, especially Topper and Kelce, who she was obviously shocked to see.

JJ took the chair by her bed, a silent agreement among his friends that he would be the one to sit there. Kiara took the other chair, John B propping himself in the windowsill and Pope standing next to him. Sarah sat on the foot of the bed after some encouragement from Ellie, and Topper and Kelce stood on the other side of the room, not used to being with this group of friends.

“Hey El, how you doing?” JJ spoke quietly, finally able to talk to her.

She sighed. “Withdrawl is hard. I have a brutal headache, and I’m exhausted. But I’m not gonna sleep. I wanna talk to you guys.”

JJ had noticed that her eyes were slightly drooping, her blinks were longer than normal, but he hadn’t wanted to mention anything. He had watched his dad go through withdrawals before, and he knew how terrible it could get. 

There was a moment of silence, no one really knowing what to say after your best friend just had an overdose. Eventually, Ellie spoke up again. “So how’d you two kooks end up with the pogues? Never thought I’d see the day.”

No one spoke at first, not sure if bringing up Rafe was a good idea. But Ellie was waiting for an answer and they would have to talk about it soon anyways.

“The pogues came to tell off Rafe,” Topper finally told her, earning a smack from Kelce for how blunt he was about it.

“You guys went to see Rafe?” Ellie asked, surprised.

John B nodded. “Kiara wouldn’t let us beat him up though.”

“John B! You can’t say stuff like that!”

But Ellie just laughed. “Should have let them,” She told Kiara. Her face turned more serious. “I don’t want him around here at all though, ok? Can you guys try to keep him away?”

Kelce nodded quickly. “He won’t be around. The pogues dealt with that one.” He sent a smile their way, something no one thought they’d ever see. “And I don’t know if I can speak for Topper, but I’m not going to be around him much anymore.”

Topper nodded in agreement, and Ellie smiled softly. “Thanks, guys.”

Pope finally asked the question everyone was dying to ask. “Are you going to rehab?” He said quietly, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, but curiosity getting the better of him.

Ellie shook her head. “No, I told uncle Travis I didn’t want to go and promised I wouldn’t do anymore coke. Or even drink alcohol. The doctor wasn’t pleased, and really wanted me to go, but uncle Travis is letting me have a chance. Me crying helped a little, I think.”

“I’m glad you’ll still be around, ” JJ spoke quietly but he knew Ellie heard him because she smiled.

They continued to laugh and joke around afterward, Topper even managed to make John B and JJ chuckle a few times. Ellie felt happy, even after all she had been through because she was surrounded by the best people. It also helped that JJ was right next to her, he always managed to put her in a better mood.

His hand was gently rested on top of hers, neither of them could remember when he placed it there but it stayed, bringing warmth to her palm. His thumb brushed over her skin, relaxing her unconsciously.

“’M getting tired, ” Ellie admitted after hours of giggling with her friends. It was still early in the night, but she still wasn’t 100% and probably wouldn’t be for a while. Even though she had been unconscious for over 24 hours and had taken a nap afterward, she still longed for sleep.

Everyone slowly trickled out of the room, but JJ stayed behind. “Can I talk to you alone for just a minute? It won’t be long, I promise.”

Ellie smiled. “Of course, I don’t mind.”

JJ wrapped his fingers around the hand he was still holding. He met her gaze, and she could see how serious he was. “I meant what I said before and I still do. I am in love with you Ellie, and almost losing you just helped me realize it quicker. I would give the world for you, you make my heart beat faster, and having you next to me is the best feeling in the world. I know you’ve been through a lot and you just got out of things with Rafe, but I had to tell you. Again, since this is technically the third time I’ve confessed.” JJ noticed her look of confusion and quickly explained himself. “I poured my heart out to you while you were unconscious.”

He chuckled. “I don’t ever want to see you hurt again. I love you Ellie, and I’m willing to wait. Or unless you don’t have feelings for me. I didn’t think about that but if you don’t it’s okay. I kind of jumped the gun with that one didn’t I?”

JJ would have continued to ramble on nervously if Ellie hadn’t interrupted him. “JJ. Stop. I do have feelings for you. I think I always have, I was just- just overtaken by the drugs.” JJ smiled, and she quickly continued. “But you are right, it is really soon. I need to take things slow.”

He nodded. “Slow. I’m good with slow.”

Ellie didn’t respond, instead, she leaned over and pressed her lips to his. He immediately kissed back without thought, his hand moving around to the back of her neck while the other still held her hand.

They pulled away, both of them grinning. “What happened to taking it slow?” JJ asked.

“Starting now.” Ellie smiled at him, then kissed him once again.