#kelloggs
So apparently Kellogg really fucked up the batch of Rice Krispies my box was from. They smelled and tasted so disgusting I actually threw up.
And I know it wasn’t the milk because I ate a few dry pieces and checked the milk to make sure. I’ve had Rice Krispies that tasted burned before and ones that have tasted stale, but these ones tasted absolutely rancid.
What the fuck? How does this happen?
Day 5: Earth + Curse
Uh-oh! Crackle had unknowingly entered the forest of the wicked witch, and now he is cursed to become a part of her personal collection of garden statues.
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Days 20 + 21: Seaweed and Trident
I hate how it looks in the end but, what can I do about it?
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Days 15 + 16: Pirate and Dolphin
It’s the return of Captain Crackle, and his trusty dolphin sidekick.
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When’s the best time to eat a Pop Tart? Find out! http://nutritionbeast.com/2013/09/pop-tarts-popularity-bodybuilding-fitness/
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Stay vigorous at 70, Saturday 22 May 1915.
I googled to see if this was the cereal Kellogg’s, but no, that was JH and WK Kellogg. However they were all in Battle Creek, Michigan, so I imagine FJ is related. FJ Kellogg Co. was nailed for making fraudulent medical claims about its products on more than one occasion.
Source: Vancouver Daily World
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These are some isolated patterns I’ve been working on for my rebranding of kellogg’s mini cereal. I could do these forever!
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A bit of February 19th history…
356 - Emperor Constantius II shuts all heathen temples
1906 - Will Kellogg and Charles Bolin found the Battle Creek Toasted Corn Flake Company, now Kellogg’s
1910 - Typhoid Mary (Mary Mallon) is freed from her 1st period of forced isolation and goes on to cause several further outbreaks of typhoid in the NY area
1914 - 4 yr old Charlotte Pierstorff mailed by train from Idaho to her grandparents’ house 73 miles away in most famous “child in the post” instance
1942 - FDR orders detention and internment of all west coast Japanese-Americans
1968 - “Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood” debuts (pictured)
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Kellogg’s Presents New Cocoa Hoots (1972)
Source:https://reddit.com/r/vintageads/comments/eums7h/kelloggs_presents_new_cocoa_hoots_1972/
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Above we can see two Anti-Masturbation devices from the 1800s. The top is pretty obvious, your penis clearly doesn’t have the physical strength to bend the metal upwards. Its stuck down, so don’t even try. And if there is a penis out there that can bend this device, it would be both scary and amazing at the same time, but I would not want it near my cooch. The second image is quite a bit more sinister, if your penis swells it digs those little razor-blade teeth into the penis and that would be very painful indeed. Victorians had many pseudo-scientific ideas about masturbation. During a time of sexual “repression” there was an excessive amount of discussion on sexuality, sex and “sexual disorders” in both social and medical settings.
So what do Kellogg’s Corn Flakes have to do with this? Dr. John Harvey Kellogg was the lead physician at Battle Creek Sanitarium. It was a health “Reform” center that would not admit known masturbators, as it was the most destructive form of mental illness around. Apparently I’m more deranged than Ted Bundy, Ed Gein or Charles Manson (but they probably masturbated too so maybe I’m ok). Kellogg’s treatments for masturbators included circumcising a male without anesthesia so he would remember the pain and be “scarred” for life and for the ladies, we got a drop of acid on our clit, NBD. It was reported that he did this on at least one pre-teen girl. Corn flakes were designed to be a pleasureless form of breakfast cereal for children because sweet, spicy (or pretty much anything with more flavor than cardboard) or warm food could cause sexual corruption and the urge to masturbate. Masturbators could be pointed out because they were:
Males: Unclean, tired, acne-ridden, had cancerous lesions, died slowly
Females: Flat chested. fickle, emaciated, had memory loss, and were irritable.
Sylvester Graham (yes, Graham crackers creator) had been an infleunce on Kellogg. Graham crackers were also meant to be dull and excite-less. However, he was not nearly as extreme as Kellogg and eventually turned his focus to only include promoting a healthy diet, with only a mention here and there about how female masturbators are just the WORST, am I right?
Read more in Masturbation in the Victorian Age by Jamye Waxman, its good!
AG
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Feb. 26, 1852: Happy Birthday to the Inventor of Corn Flakes!
On this day in 1852, John H. Kellogg, the inventor of corn flakes, was born in Battle Creek, Michigan.
As a physician in a Seventh Day Adventist sanitarium, John Kellogg worked with his brother Will Keith Kellogg to develop cereal products for his patients. With these innovative products, the brothers co-founded a business to get their products on the market. Unfortunately, the brothers broke business ties due to management and personal disputes.
Learn more about the history of cereal with PBS Food.
Image: Dr. John Harvey Kellogg between ca. 1910 and ca. 1915 (Library of Congress)
Dr. Kellogg was a staunch advocate of anti-masturbation propaganda, believing that certain foods can cause “heated blood” and lead to urges. In the late 1800s, masturbation-inducing foods included “cloves, vinegar, pickles, candy, eggs, and pork”, so anti-masturbation dietitians recommended just the opposite of these tasty foodstuffs. This is where Kellogg’s corn flakes come into play. He believed his cereal would clear the mind and help men overcome the urge to masturbate.
Other supporters of “food to help you stop jerking off” include C.W. Post, inventor of Grape-Nuts, and Reverend Sylvester Graham, who originally created Honey Biscuits, but is now known for his namesake, Graham crackers, which were used to help children gain weight, which would give them the strength to overcome their urges.
Source: 5 Insane Ways Fear of Masturbation Shaped the Modern World
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November 19, 1965: The future becomes reality when Pop Tarts are created, making all other food obsolete.
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I feel the same way about carbs, Winston.
