#lies lies and more lies
Saving others is easier than saving yourself.
What a lie, a beautiful lie, the deepest one in the sea of lies looking like a beautiful mermaid. The beautiful lie that starts with love and ends with you.
and for a split second, I wanted to believe the lies and try to pretend that everything could be okay but how can I do that when the scars are cut way too deep and the love is gone.
Goodbye illusion
I would be lying if I said I cared. I would be lying if I said I still miss you. I would be lying if I said I still love you and most of all, I would be lying if I said I know because no matter how hard it is to admit it, I don’t. I don’t know who you are, I don’t know which version of you is the real one and how could I know who you are if I don’t even know who I am.
How could I know who you are if you change personalities every single day if you transform into another person? How could I know and why would I care about you if you never gave a single f*ck about me? Why would I put myself through all of that? Why did I put myself through that? Why did I make myself fall in that hole, all by myself, without any help, without any trick? I guess I’m just stupid.
But that person is dead now, the old me is dead and you don’t mean anything to me anymore. Nobody means anything to me anymore because no matter how hard I try to be loving, I can’t, I guess the cold-hearted b*tch is alive again, the one I buried deep and she is hungry for power.
I guess you can ask yourself who I am because I am not the same naive person who loved you, but you won’t ask me, because what we had is gone and I got bored and tired of holding onto the hope, the stupid illusion.
The angel is dead and the devil is now ruling, you don’t affect me anymore and most of all I don’t love you anymore. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time, and you are not a part of the reason.
Ps. I know they will hurt you and I will be glad to watch you get hurt by the same people who hurt me.
Goodbye illusion
I look at the stars, the beautiful stars and all I can think about is what would’ve happened, what would’ve happened if we didn’t think twice about everything around us, if we were true to ourselves and to each other, if we didn’t wait for everything to collapse around us leaving us broken and missing the piece in our heart filled by the other person.
We were meant to last, to have something special, we planned out our whole future and here we are, forgetting all of that and running away from the fact, the fact that we loved each other, the fact that we had something special, something that shone brighter and brighter, something just like a star.
What we had was just like a star, and it died slowly, the special bond slipping from our hands while we kept playing with fire, while we kept feeding it slowly until it eventually swallowed us slowly without us realizing, until our star exploded and all I can think about is your smile, your laugh and all your secrets I still carry with me, afraid of letting them go, afraid of facing the truth that you drowned in the sea of lies, the sea you were desperately trying to avoid, the sea you saved me from.
