I can’t remember the last time I felt this alone

I’m getting bad again. And unlike every other time, when I’ve sought out help,

This time I’m just letting it infest me.

I want to lose weight. No matter what. I want to feel numb, because I have been stuck in a rut of feeling too much for too long.

Getting lost in myself has never hurt so much.

I’m getting bad again…

It’s festival season, and where I am, it’s really hot. I’ve been working out a lot and I’ve lost weight but my thighs and butt have gotten bigger with muscle, but none of last years shorts fit anymore.

I tried buying some new ones today. And although I have been in such a good place about my body, I haven’t felt this low since high school. I haven’t eaten at all today, and I know I should eat but I can’t justify it.

I just can’t do this again.

Sometimes I feel numb, I got so used to hiding all my feelings, that they are no longer there

When will it be over so I can finally rest.

Fake happiness is the worst kind of pain.

The voices are telling the truth.

Drugs are addicting because they make you feel alive when you’re dead inside.

Feeling numb is the greatest feeling when you can’t feel anything at all…

Saving others is easier than saving yourself.

Feeling everything and nothing at the same time.

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

I get lost in my own head.

But maybe the thoughts are true and I’m not worth it.

Pretending to be okay is more destructive than all the drugs you’ve ever taken.

But even the prettiest look isn’t able to cover up a bad character.

Things can wound you but your own thoughts can kill you in a matter of seconds.

I wish I could be young forever, not for leisure but to keep trying until this works.

Party and drugs to forget everything

You know everything and still learned nothing.