#an excerpt from a book i might write
She lights the pictures and letters on fire and holds them watching the words burn but the feelings in her heart burn and make their position known. The words dissolve with her tears and the fire.
What a lie, a beautiful lie, the deepest one in the sea of lies looking like a beautiful mermaid. The beautiful lie that starts with love and ends with you.
and for a split second, I wanted to believe the lies and try to pretend that everything could be okay but how can I do that when the scars are cut way too deep and the love is gone.
hey, it’s me. i know it’s been a long time.. a very long time. and the last time we spoke, you told me you never wanted to speak to me again, but it’s been almost 6 years and i’m still head over heels in love with you. i miss you everyday. every single day. i want back the parts of me that i gave to you but i’m pretty sure you’ve thrown them out by now, so i’m a few years too late. more than half of a decade too late, actually.
“My feelings for you are slowly growing, and I want them to stop. I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have. I don’t want to lose you. But, my heart beats so fast when I’m with you.”
“Ever want to kiss someone randomly? Because that’s what I’m feeling right now staring at you.”
“It’s not the drugs. It’s not because I’m intoxicated. It’s you. I want all of you. I want to taste your sweet lips.”
“It’s been over a year since we let each other go. It’s been over a year since I’ve let go of what could have been my forever. I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about you from to time to time. I should have fought for you, for us. But the truth is, I was a coward. I became afraid of loving you too much and getting hurt in the end. I should have trusted you. I should have trusted my heart.”
“I’m scared that I’m not doing the right things. I’m scared that I’m not good enough. I always have this feeling that I’m behind on everything in life. I just want everything to slow down. I just want to breathe and enjoy the moment. But instead, I feel like I’m drowning in my own sorrows and insecurities.”
