#an excerpt from my diary

i don’t hate him i just hate the memories that come with him

i’m over it now so you can finally tell me how you really felt without any guilt

i made you a playlist and you made me a promise that you broke

what was it about me that wasn’t enough for you?

i can change

play me like a card game with cards made out of your most beautiful fantasies

i wear my heart on my sleeve. hidden behind that is a knife for anyone who comes too close with bad intentions

What a lie, a beautiful lie, the deepest one in the sea of lies looking like a beautiful mermaid. The beautiful lie that starts with love and ends with you.

and for a split second, I wanted to believe the lies and try to pretend that everything could be okay but how can I do that when the scars are cut way too deep and the love is gone.

“My feelings for you are slowly growing, and I want them to stop. I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have. I don’t want to lose you. But, my heart beats so fast when I’m with you.”

“I’m scared that I’m not doing the right things. I’m scared that I’m not good enough. I always have this feeling that I’m behind on everything in life. I just want everything to slow down. I just want to breathe and enjoy the moment. But instead, I feel like I’m drowning in my own sorrows and insecurities.”