Worse thing that happened in my Maladaptive Daydreaming Experience? Spending more than 5 days in a place where I couldn’t daydream at all.

I remember getting depressed the more time I’ve spent without daydreaming. I remember sleeping the whole day in because I had nothing to do and couldn’t daydream. I remember my mood decreasing and just getting worse and worse the more time I spent there.

I must also point out that the place I was in wasn’t harmful in any way. Nobody yelled at me, nobody treated me awfully. I was in a complete comfortable place with only people I knew. Still, I was so… distressed. Something about not being able to daydream hurted me. It settled a panic in my heart so deep, that I felt I would have died if I didn’t daydreamed right at that moment.

In my distressed state, I wrote down about how harmful this Maladaptive Daydreaming is and how much I need it gone from my life. I haven’t felt that desperate in a long while.

Do you know what it’s worse about having MaDD? It’s that it takes time from doing the work I love to do for me in order to do something else.

“Just a few minutes” I tell myself. But then it becomes half an hour then almost one hour and a half.

I love creating art and I love doing comics. It’s even funny that the only solution for people with MaDD to cure MaDD is to get away from all triggers, including media. Well, that also means I got to cut off doing art altogether, because doing art is also a trigger.

That’s the most complicated part. I’m triggering myself just by doing what I love and want to do.

Is there really no way for me to get better that doesn’t include throwing away what I like to do? I just really want to be able to do it.

Update

I went out today, and that helped a whole lot more than I thought it would. I feel less anxious and more relaxed than before, even though I didn’t sleep much last night. Everything is alright.

The Maladaptive Daydreaming continues, but in a much slower pace right now.

Still I ask of advices, since I most of the time can’t run away from triggers.

So, recently, I’ve gone full on Madd these last days, because a new chapter of my favorite game came out and I loved it.

But I just can’t stop going back to Maladaptive Daydreaming until it’s 11 pm and my legs and feet are about to give out, my brain already playing the songs I’ve heard on its own, and my pc tired from being turned on all day with an unfinished project that I took out of my daydreaming.

What should I do to, at least, lessen this? I want to be productive, but I just can’t and everything is a mess. I have triggers everywhere: my art is one, music is another, even being in my bedroom is a trigger.

Not feeling inspired anymore

I don’t feel inspired to do art anymore.

When I say this, you might be thinking that I stopped creating, but no. I continue to draw art almost every single day of my life. Even when I don’t feel like doing it. I just do.

Yet, whenever I hear a new awesome song or watch an incredible animation, it’s not art that I want to do. It’s daydreaming.

I keep on looking for something to inspire me to go do art, but every movie I’ve been watching in the last years have me feeling tired rather than inspired.

And I believe the problem of this resides in me.

Does meditating help MaDD?

I’m desperate

Things changed at my home and I can’t remain the same routine of going to my little imaginary world like this. It actually does disturb other people’s life by doing so.

As far as self-diagnose can go, I’ve had MaDD for over 6 years of my life. I’ve only told very few people in my life, and, since none of them could point it out as something extremely serious, just a weird hobbie I did, everybody just got used to the routines.

Those are: locking myself in a bathroom (Because I don’t want people to come to me and see me pacing around and doing weird expressions, walking on my tiptoes, and making weird faces towards nothing at all). I do this not one, but five or more times a day for a minimal time of 15 minutes each (Sometimes going for about half an hour, depending on how deep did I let myself daydream).

This bathroom used to be only mine at the time I started doing it, but as more and more people started living in the same house, it just got much more complicated to manage my daydreaming sections.

It got to a point right now that I must be alert at all times over who needs to use the bathroom and how long I’ve been there. It’s a very frustating situation for both me and the people that share the same bathroom with me.

I want to change this. I want to be able to, at least, do it somewhere else. Exchange this routine for another, like running a lap for one hour and 15 minutes every morning while listening to music, but the neighbourhood is always too dangerous to do this. Always.

I don’t feel the security to go out every morning to do this.

But I want to change. I really do.

In through the nose, out through the mouth

Breathing exercises are so important.

My Maladaptive Daydreaming is triggered mainly by anxiety. Often times, I feel that squeeze inside my chest that just annoys me when doubt or impatience comes into my life. I tell myself that going back to my maladaptive daydreaming habits will alleviate that, and it sure will feel like that.

That’s when breathing comes in, before I actually prepare myself to do Active Daydreaming.

It helps so much. Especially when things feel like just too much.

Hobbies are important

One of my main mistakes, that I still regret making, is letting my maladaptive daydreaming habit become my main stress reliever habit. I thought that I had to work only on my passions, because passions will never feel like work. Big mistake.

Hobbies are just as important as your work/passion. Please, develop more than one way to relieve stress. Because if you don’t, you will probably get stuck in that one habit.

Pick a habit that you don’t need to be best at. That you don’t want to be best at. A habit that you simply do, because it’s fun. That you do just for fun, and doesn’t need to be perfect at.

Maladaptive as a concept

Maladaptive is a very important concept when it comes to understanding Maladaptive daydreaming. It comes from the idea not only that the habit/ritual/action a person has been doing has been disturbing that person’s daily life activities, but the person has tried to quit more than once before.

That person fully acknowledges that this habit, aside from everything they have been doing, has turned into an obstacle into their daily life. Something they acknowledge that needs to change, because it’s actually impairing important parts of the normal life schedule (Eg.: School, Work, Family and friends interactions, health…)

So, before you self-diagnose yourself, you should keep in mind and ask yourself:

• Can you complete your daily life activities just fine, despite the daydreaming habits?
• Do you stop doing your daydreaming activities/habits/rituals when you manage to hurt yourself doing so and focus on treating the wound, if it seems something severe?
• Do you have any other hobbies besides maladaptive daydreaming to balance the ways that you relieve yourself from stress?
• Have you tried quitting Maladaptive Daydreaming? If yes, did you quit? If the answer is no for the previous question, how long have you spent without doing it?

I believe those three are very important questions to ask yourself and analyze how far does Maladaptive Daydreaming go for you. I personally answered “no” for all those three, which is why Maladaptive Daydreaming is such an alarming issue for me.

For the last question, the answers are “Yes. No. Almost two days.”

For the people who wondered where have I been these past months and that have been patiently waiting, I actually took a break from tumblr, as it was a main trigger for me at the time for my imagination, and consequently, to my active daydreaming routine. I thought that staying away would be best, but the problem about staying away from your triggers is that usually your brain just pick up on new triggers if you aren’t disciplined enough.

During this time away, I actually learned a lot about my own Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder and I wish to share a bit more.

2020 has been a lot to deal for everybody around the world, and it hasn’t been different with me. One of my biggest fears out of the pandemic wasn’t the fact that I could get sick and die, but more over the effects that staying at home would do to my mental health and all the progress I had built up until that point.

In the beginning of the year, I was at my highest and best point during the last 6 years I suffered with Maladaptive Daydreaming. I don’t know if it was the temporary effects of the finals(a big possibility), but I didn’t have enough time to even think about active daydreaming. Finals was everything I could ever think of.

Then, in the middle of all that energy, the pandemic happened and we couldn’t leave. I already had spent 2017 at home and I know the effects that staying at home could do to my brain, which is why I decided that building up a schedule and physically getting an appointment book would be helpful for me to keep track of the things I needed to do. Thankfully, I already had an empty apointment book at my home, so I started using it in order to keep track of myself and what I wanted to do in the next few months.

What used to be 2-3 hours of Active Daydreaming became four, then soon became five. There was days I noticed the time management countdown on youtube turn to six hours per day. Per day. My feet started hurting constantly, just as my ankles did. I had breakdowns, countless of them.

There was times I had to actually lay down on my bed and look up at the ceiling for the next 15 minutes, focusing only on my own breathing and the sound of rain outside, because my head was definitely not here and I wanted so bad to BE here.

I had to actually implement a self-care rule, which the conditions were that I couldn’t do active daydreaming in the mornings before I showered, brushed my teeth and ate something. If I didn’t actually put it to practice, I would end the day in another breakdown. I thought I was going crazy.

The self-care rule helped me take a huge first step out of the hell hole I was stuck at.

On July 13th of 2020, I decided to stop once and for all with this practice, and I decided to spend the entire day without doing any active Daydreaming, something I haven’t done for years. I was successful. The things I felt at that day and the struggles I went through told me about the actual trigger behind my Maladaptive Daydreaming: Anxiety.

Countless times I had to just stop and control my breath as my anxious heart just skyrocketed out of my chest without any clear reason whatsover to do so. It became even clearer as I finally started to spot in the next months the triggers and fears that would restart the habit.

By November, I started an actual schedule, as the subjects and projects I was being taught and asked out of my teachers became impossible to manage unless I had a clear cut schedule to deal with it all. During those times, I never felt the healthiest, despite the fact it was also one of my worst days as well.

I learned so much this year. The fight is not over, but I feel like I finally took a few steps closer, even if tiny, towards the end of this.

ineedtochangemymadd:

My Daydreaming Experience and Why I want to Change

My blog’s name has made it pretty clear by now. I’ve been wanting to change my Maladaptive Daydreaming for a long while now. I’ve decided to start posting more about my progress from now on.

For my sake, and of those who follow me. If my posts will help anyone or not, I’m not sure at all. I just hope that what I tried to do before works for someone else, since everyone’s different.

In this post I shall explain a bit more about why that change is needed so badly, so prepare yourselves.

First of all, I should note down how does Maladaptive Daydreaming work for me, and what kind of symptoms I hold onto.

Right now, I’ve decided to separate two kinds of Daydreaming, in order to keep myself on check and for you to understand how it works for me.

In my Maladaptive Daydreaming experience, there is Active DaydreamingandPassive Daydreaming.

InActive Daydreaming, which I personally consider most of my Maladaptive Daydreaming, it involves not only the idea of creating scenarios and other character’s interactions on my own head, but also responding physically with my body to what I imagine that’s happening.

That includes, pacing, facial expressions, sudden twists and turns on my neck in the direction of what I believe the character is talking, smiling, trembling hands, putting myself on tip toes, and moving my fingers in a way that it looks like I got a screen right in front of me and I can control the angle it’s recording with my fingers.

InPassive Daydreaming, things looks much different. It’s more as if I’m still thinking about it in my head, however, my body doesn’t respond to my daydreaming experience. I’m not completely on the Maladaptive Daydreaming, but I still manage to get caught up in my thoughts and respond to the real world much slower than I would if I had done Active Daydreaming beforehand.

If I spent a long time without doing Active Daydreaming, my body and mind will slowly adjust to the Passive Daydreaming, unless I get caught up in another fandom that excites me a lot more than it should.

As some of you might already know, if you ever read the posts before, my Maladaptive Daydreaming has been impairing and getting in the way of other’s lives. It hasn’t been only that though.

My Maladaptive Daydreaming(or Active Daydreaming) is build up on a ritual I need to follow very throughly. If not, it won’t have the effect I desire and it will just take longer than it’s supposed to.

Many times did Maladaptive Daydreaming impaired and harmed my own life, not only in the mindful experience.

Things that Maladaptive Daydreaming brought upon me:

- I’ve already hurt myself while Maladaptive Daydreaming, and broken not only just glass, but also broken down headphones three times already;

-I’ve probably impaired my right knee, which hurts if I ever spend a long time Active Daydreaming;

- I’ve destroyed my own attention span, which used to be so well-developed. Right as of now, I’m completely unable to stay focused on a task for more than 30 minutes;

- My hearing has also been damaged, even if only slightly;

- I’ve proven myself over and over again that I’m not worthy of trust with any work or issue, even though I used to be the best of my class 5 years ago due to the lack of attention on the outer world;

- Not only did I get in the way of other’s daily activities, but also continued to do so, due to the urges of daydreaming. It made me say not only selfish things to others, but act as if I’m the only one in the world even though I am not.

It has been two years ever since I’ve spent more than one day without Maladaptive Daydreaming. One of the things I’ve been using to try to control it is the time counter that there is on youtube, the place where I listen to the music I want to.

I also work in a creative environment, where I’m supposed to keep consuming media over and over again to be aware of what is currently on and not. Way to trigger myself.

My relationship with my work is very sentimental and emotional. Letting go of it or letting go of Maladaptive Daydreaming triggers anxiety, that’s why I wish to take things very slowly if I can.

Excuse me for a second. I’m not a Native speaker, therefore, I looked up the exact meaning of the word so I wouldn’t, in any way, misunderstand what you meant. Also, I’m sorry for taking so long to answer.

First of all, let me tell you I stopped following the tag myself because it does trigger me. So, I can’t say much about it since I don’t know how things had been going for a while.

So, this is a very tricky question for a reason. As far as I know, Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder is not a disorder you can oficially be diagnosed with. Correct me if I’m wrong, but, exceptions aside, most of the people who follow this tag self-diagnosed themselves through the symptoms they found on the internet and videos made by others. That’s what I did myself.

There’s also another thing that plays a part in this, and it’s also the fact that Daydreaming isn’t something most people see as harmful, and some people even praise it as a gift, considering how vivid those daydreams can be. There’s a lot of concepts and misconcepts due to the fact that researchs are not yet concluded, and that plays a part on how we ourselves see Maladaptive Daydreaming too.

I can’t blame people for romanticizing something as unknown as the Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder still is. There’s sure a lot more to still figure out in it.

There’s only one thing I know, and it is how harmful to my life Maladaptive Daydreaming has been. As far as I know, it could even be some type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but, since most of the symptoms did not apply as sharp as Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder did, I decided to call it Maladaptive Dsydreaming itself.

Whatever it is, I decided to make this blog in order to remind myself how it has been harmful to my life, physically and mentally. I also hope that my posts and reblogs might help somebody deal with their own too.

agepoyoconcept:

Idk whats worse thinking about how much MADD has taken over my life or knowing that to stop it every character i know and love has to die

My honest opinion? They won’t die. Every character you created is part of your imagination and your own personality.

However, if you really like them and don’t want them to take over your life, try writing them down. Write a novel. Draw. Sketch. Make comics. Turn these ideas into something real rather than let them stay in your brain.

Create.

Try turning these ideas into a healthy habit rather than maintaining this unhealthy one from fear of losing them. They are still in your mind, so don’t let them rot there. Free them.

Times during the day I indulge in Maladaptive Daydreaming

If it’s a normal day, with classes from 1 pm to 7 pm:

-Right after I wake up(Currently the one I’m trying to cut off from my life)

-9 am

-11 am or 12 pm

-8 or 9 pm

-Before I go to sleep

If I have the entire day free:

-Right after I wake up

-9 am

-12 pm

-2 pm

-4 pm

-6 pm

-8 pm

-10 pm

-Right before I sleep if I haven’t gone already after 10 pm section.

Disclaimer that I spent, in each of these, about 15 to half an hour. Sometimes it even reach 45 minutes.

If I jump two of these times while having the time to do it, my brain usually compensates in the next time, going through more time without me even noticing.

ineedtochangemymadd:

My Daydreaming Experience and Why I want to Change

My blog’s name has made it pretty clear by now. I’ve been wanting to change my Maladaptive Daydreaming for a long while now. I’ve decided to start posting more about my progress from now on.

For my sake, and of those who follow me. If my posts will help anyone or not, I’m not sure at all. I just hope that what I tried to do before works for someone else, since everyone’s different.

In this post I shall explain a bit more about why that change is needed so badly, so prepare yourselves.

First of all, I should note down how does Maladaptive Daydreaming work for me, and what kind of symptoms I hold onto.

Right now, I’ve decided to separate two kinds of Daydreaming, in order to keep myself on check and for you to understand how it works for me.

In my Maladaptive Daydreaming experience, there is Active DaydreamingandPassive Daydreaming.

InActive Daydreaming, which I personally consider most of my Maladaptive Daydreaming, it involves not only the idea of creating scenarios and other character’s interactions on my own head, but also responding physically with my body to what I imagine that’s happening.

That includes, pacing, facial expressions, sudden twists and turns on my neck in the direction of what I believe the character is talking, smiling, trembling hands, putting myself on tip toes, and moving my fingers in a way that it looks like I got a screen right in front of me and I can control the angle it’s recording with my fingers.

InPassive Daydreaming, things looks much different. It’s more as if I’m still thinking about it in my head, however, my body doesn’t respond to my daydreaming experience. I’m not completely on the Maladaptive Daydreaming, but I still manage to get caught up in my thoughts and respond to the real world much slower than I would if I had done Active Daydreaming beforehand.

If I spent a long time without doing Active Daydreaming, my body and mind will slowly adjust to the Passive Daydreaming, unless I get caught up in another fandom that excites me a lot more than it should.

As some of you might already know, if you ever read the posts before, my Maladaptive Daydreaming has been impairing and getting in the way of other’s lives. It hasn’t been only that though.

My Maladaptive Daydreaming(or Active Daydreaming) is build up on a ritual I need to follow very throughly. If not, it won’t have the effect I desire and it will just take longer than it’s supposed to.

Many times did Maladaptive Daydreaming impaired and harmed my own life, not only in the mindful experience.

Things that Maladaptive Daydreaming brought upon me:

- I’ve already hurt myself while Maladaptive Daydreaming, and broken not only just glass, but also broken down headphones three times already;

-I’ve probably impaired my right knee, which hurts if I ever spend a long time Active Daydreaming;

- I’ve destroyed my own attention span, which used to be so well-developed. Right as of now, I’m completely unable to stay focused on a task for more than 30 minutes;

- My hearing has also been damaged, even if only slightly;

- I’ve proven myself over and over again that I’m not worthy of trust with any work or issue, even though I used to be the best of my class 5 years ago due to the lack of attention on the outer world;

- Not only did I get in the way of other’s daily activities, but also continued to do so, due to the urges of daydreaming. It made me say not only selfish things to others, but act as if I’m the only one in the world even though I am not.

It has been two years ever since I’ve spent more than one day without Maladaptive Daydreaming. One of the things I’ve been using to try to control it is the time counter that there is on youtube, the place where I listen to the music I want to.

I also work in a creative environment, where I’m supposed to keep consuming media over and over again to be aware of what is currently on and not. Way to trigger myself.

My relationship with my work is very sentimental and emotional. Letting go of it or letting go of Maladaptive Daydreaming triggers anxiety, that’s why I wish to take things very slowly if I can.

@tmxpvkslk

Doctors all around tell people that hearing a lot of loud music on headphones(beyond the limits some phones had set up to be minimum) are extremely harmful to your hearing. Due to Maladaptive Daydreaming, I spent around two hours at least everyday doing that. If it’s not much more than that.

Imagine the consequences of that in the next 10 years.

What worries me most is that, like most signals of pain around my body, I let this pass by.

Please, be careful with how loud you decide to hear music.

New Technique to Try to Control Maladaptive Daydreaming

First of all, I’ll be sharing about this new Technique or Rule I’ve set against myself in order to start working my Maladaptive Daydreaming out.

I call it…

Emergency Self-Care Rule

I’ve been using it for around two weeks now, and, even though it didn’t seem to help control much of my Maladaptive Daydreaming, it did help my health care improve, and that’s what I wanted first of all.

This is for everyone that lets Maladaptive Daydreaming rule their life over. If you find yourself in terrible health condition, what helped me was to make a small list of Self-Care items I should do before I decide to let myself daydream.

Self-Care List

• Have you taken a shower yet?
• Have you eaten yet?
• Have you brushed your teeth already?

As of taking major progress in controlling your Maladaptive Daydreaming, it doesn’t help much. But, for me, that have been dismissing my own health in order to daydream, that has been a good improvement.

The point of this is for you to set a list of the bare minimum things you want taken care of before you are free to daydream. My own Self-care list is filled one or two more items in it, and you can add a bit more items of your own, as long as it doesn’t become something unbearable and that you will get rapidly tired of doing every morning. This list in no way supposed to be filled with things, only the bare minimum for you to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

It should never be overbearing, since the point of this list is to keep you doing at least the minimum needed for your health to improve.

I’ve been doing it for two weeks now, and it slowly started to become a part of my routine, and when it does, I shall start slowly adding a few more items.

My Daydreaming Experience and Why I want to Change

My blog’s name has made it pretty clear by now. I’ve been wanting to change my Maladaptive Daydreaming for a long while now. I’ve decided to start posting more about my progress from now on.

For my sake, and of those who follow me. If my posts will help anyone or not, I’m not sure at all. I just hope that what I tried to do before works for someone else, since everyone’s different.

In this post I shall explain a bit more about why that change is needed so badly, so prepare yourselves.

First of all, I should note down how does Maladaptive Daydreaming work for me, and what kind of symptoms I hold onto.

Right now, I’ve decided to separate two kinds of Daydreaming, in order to keep myself on check and for you to understand how it works for me.

In my Maladaptive Daydreaming experience, there is Active DaydreamingandPassive Daydreaming.

InActive Daydreaming, which I personally consider most of my Maladaptive Daydreaming, it involves not only the idea of creating scenarios and other character’s interactions on my own head, but also responding physically with my body to what I imagine that’s happening.

That includes, pacing, facial expressions, sudden twists and turns on my neck in the direction of what I believe the character is talking, smiling, trembling hands, putting myself on tip toes, and moving my fingers in a way that it looks like I got a screen right in front of me and I can control the angle it’s recording with my fingers.

InPassive Daydreaming, things looks much different. It’s more as if I’m still thinking about it in my head, however, my body doesn’t respond to my daydreaming experience. I’m not completely on the Maladaptive Daydreaming, but I still manage to get caught up in my thoughts and respond to the real world much slower than I would if I had done Active Daydreaming beforehand.

If I spent a long time without doing Active Daydreaming, my body and mind will slowly adjust to the Passive Daydreaming, unless I get caught up in another fandom that excites me a lot more than it should.

As some of you might already know, if you ever read the posts before, my Maladaptive Daydreaming has been impairing and getting in the way of other’s lives. It hasn’t been only that though.

My Maladaptive Daydreaming(or Active Daydreaming) is build up on a ritual I need to follow very throughly. If not, it won’t have the effect I desire and it will just take longer than it’s supposed to.

Many times did Maladaptive Daydreaming impaired and harmed my own life, not only in the mindful experience.

Things that Maladaptive Daydreaming brought upon me:

- I’ve already hurt myself while Maladaptive Daydreaming, and broken not only just glass, but also broken down headphones three times already;

-I’ve probably impaired my right knee, which hurts if I ever spend a long time Active Daydreaming;

- I’ve destroyed my own attention span, which used to be so well-developed. Right as of now, I’m completely unable to stay focused on a task for more than 30 minutes;

- My hearing has also been damaged, even if only slightly;

- I’ve proven myself over and over again that I’m not worthy of trust with any work or issue, even though I used to be the best of my class 5 years ago due to the lack of attention on the outer world;

- Not only did I get in the way of other’s daily activities, but also continued to do so, due to the urges of daydreaming. It made me say not only selfish things to others, but act as if I’m the only one in the world even though I am not.

It has been two years ever since I’ve spent more than one day without Maladaptive Daydreaming. One of the things I’ve been using to try to control it is the time counter that there is on youtube, the place where I listen to the music I want to.

I also work in a creative environment, where I’m supposed to keep consuming media over and over again to be aware of what is currently on and not. Way to trigger myself.

My relationship with my work is very sentimental and emotional. Letting go of it or letting go of Maladaptive Daydreaming triggers anxiety, that’s why I wish to take things very slowly if I can.

ineedtochangemymadd:

Does meditating help MaDD?

It did. Thank you! I shall do that first thing in the mornings, along with some routines I must apply to. I must also put into practice some really good advices I received a long time ago.

People with maladaptive daydreaming can be the best fanfic writers.

I said what I said.

Do any of you ever avoid certain movies, music, or any kind of thing that can distort the character of your paras?

I want to recover from daydreaming but I don’t know the first thing about the healing process

IM SAD BECAUSE IM SITTING HERE MISSING SOMEONE THAT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST, BUT THESE FEELINGS ARE REAL.

When your earphones start dying during a good daydream, and you’re too broke to buy more anytime soon.

When you’re talking out loud in your daydream, and mom barges in so you have to act like you were on your phone the whole time

When you’re in a sad scenario and actually start feeling all of your paras emotions at once…yeah.

The faces you make when deep into your daydream

When someone interrupts your daydream and you have to remember where you left off and how to get back into it with the same amount of passion you had before.