#hearing
Don’t romanticize it.
When a person says that they’d just love to have my experience I just want to say, “Really? You want the frequent headaches, the ringing sound in your head that’s not really there but you’re beyond exhausted like all the time that at this point being tired is just a continuous state of being for you, and no amount of sleep can alleviate your constant dread of social situations and being in noisy places and second guessing yourself ALL THE TIME even when you know there’s no reason to but its just that being deaf is like having a phantom sense and you’re always wondering if there’s a sound there or if something’s happening here and you’re not hearing it but no worries because someone will be there to make you feel like a total piece shit for not hearing them speaking to you?”
Let me know how that goes as you realize it’s not a simple matter of plugging up your ears.
I mean, I’d imagine being the actual deaf one who has to walk around not hearing things while people raise an eyebrow at him must be uncomfortable enough to deal with on a daily basis, but no, I can imagine being the asshole who has complete control over the volume of their voice as well as control over how they choose to react to someone not responding to them must be more uncomfortable and therefore deserving of more sympathy and understanding. Once again, it’s about the hearing person’s ego and their inability to accept that not everyone hears the same. Ironically, most of these people will claim they support disability awareness. There’s your proof they don’t.
Sorry that I haven’t been updating my blog for a while. These last 7 months I have been going through and preparing for a life changing experience. This Deaf girl is going to become……
A DEAF MUM!!!
I have a baby boy due in just over 10 weeks, and I am so excited yet nervous to become a mum. I have so many questions and choices to make going around in my head. Choices such as bottle Vs breast feeding, what do I want in my birth plan. But one main question that stands out is, will my little boy be deaf like his mummy or hearing like his daddy? And the one answer I do know to that question is that I will love him whole heartily, and purely.
I do love the idea of having a deaf child, that I can shared my knowledge of my deafness, encourage integration to both Deaf and hearing world, and I feel there would be more of a connection between me and my deaf child. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be able to connect with a hearing child, but it would be different. I’m finding hard to put into writing what this connection is. We connect with people, but having a large ‘something’ in common can form a unique connection, and that can be same race, religion, disability for example… I hope I make sense! But then I wonder should I be wanting a deaf child, and to see them grow in a world that isn’t as accepting, accommodating, or easy to be in. I must remind myself, yes it can be hard being deaf, but I have had many great experiences and met many great people. The hardship I’ve faced has made me the person I am today, and because of that I know I would be a great mummy to a little deaf boy.
I can imagine that some hearing people would be like ‘why would you wish for a child that’s ‘disabled’?’, and it’s a shame because deafness is so much more than a disability. We have history, culture, and most importantly we have a beautiful visual language. Which I’m also very happy to say that my partner, who is hearing, is learning the basics of BSL (British Sign Language). And I want our child to grow up with both oral and signing skills, even if he is hearing.
Either way, if our baby is happy and healthy, then I’m a happy mummy. I cannot wait to start this new chapter in my life.
Deaf – Hearing romantic relationship – my own experience
You know, there was a time that I believed I would meet a deaf man, and have deaf children. Fast forward a few years and I’m happily in love with a hearing man. The reason I believed I would end up with a deaf man because I thought it would be easier. Easier to meet, easier to communicate, being deaf would be something in common. Being deaf and dating within the hearing world has it challenges, and full of disappointment. Especially for me I have many people who stopped talking to me when they learned I was deaf, or used me to satisfy their curiosity of meeting/dating a deaf girl. So naturally I started to want to be with a deaf man, and that was a challenge in itself. I’m not 100% fluent in sign language, or very involved in the wider deaf community. I’m deaf, but very much integrated in the hearing world due to my parents’ choice.
Through online dating I came across someone who caught my eye, and decided to ‘like’ his profile rather than private message to say hello. I was worried that he wouldn’t reply after looking through my profile, I mentioned that I am deaf. I got more messages from guys when I didn’t disclosed my deafness…. Online dating is window shopping. We want the pretty things, not the imperfect that’s on the ‘for sale’ shelf. So I pretty much stopped message guys first and just like their profile which basically sends a notification to them saying ‘hey, this girl likes the look of you’. He messaged me back…. God this never happened before! Usually I have messages from sleazy guys but not from someone that I was interested in. My first thought was ‘I bet he not read my profile, and just thought what a pretty face’ and would stop messaging me when he learns that I am deaf. Boy, was I wrong!? He thought it was ‘interesting’ and wanted to know more.
After messaging each other for a few weeks, we eventually had our first date. I was very anxious, total opposite to him. I had the usual first date anxiety: what if I’m not attracted to him, or him to me, or we didn’t connect. On top of that I had my ‘deaf anxiety’; will I understand him? What if he mumbles? What if I mispronounces words? And the truth is I did struggle to hear him but luckily he had really clear lip patterns, which made it easier to lip read. I thought he spoke posh!
The first time I stayed over, I slept in my hearing aid. Which fellow deafies will know is rather uncomfortable. I slept in them because I didn’t want to take them out in front of him, they can get gunky at times and there’s an element of vulnerability when I take out my hearing and be in completed silence. Also hearing people do have a habit of talking to you, after you’ve taken them out and everyone feels stupid as result of this. Plus we tend to lay in the dark talking, till we fall asleep. Then there the question of ‘intimacy’ and the debate of hearing aids in or out. Hearing aids in equals amplified breathing, feedback and whistling, and hearing aids out equal no verbal communication. And first time sleeping with someone does require some kind of verbal directions.
Then there the meeting of his family and friends, who are all hearing and most likely never really came across a deaf person or have had the opportunity to learn any deaf awareness. Great bunch of people, minimal deaf awareness. Especially in group settings, they talk to me without getting my attention so I’m not aware that they’re talking to me, mumbling, speaking quietly to name a few. Being a deaf person and like all deaf people, we adapted or we pretended we knew what was going on.
Fast forward 16 months and we’re living together.
I can lip read him clearly, no little to no issues. Remember lip reading is mainly guesswork. I now go to bed with 1 hearing aid in, and when he starts snoring. I know he’s asleep and the hearing aid comes out. Over time deaf awareness amongst friends and family increased due to spending time around a deaf person, me.
Deaf hearing relationships has its challenges, but they can be overcome. This is down to good clear communication and adapting to each other. He wasn’t deaf aware when we met but after getting to know each and talking about how my deafness affects me, and what support I need. He became much more deaf aware, and more than me sometimes. I’m forever talking to him when he’s in the other room or going upstairs, and then I don’t understand the response. I can’t blame him for that. I need to practice what I preach. He makes me aware if I’m saying something incorrectly, and helps me to correct it. This sometime makes us laugh. Sometimes we misunderstand each other, but we always talk it out. Being deaf is a communication barrier in itself, both partners need to be understanding and respectful of this. Not to be impatient or get too frustrated if not being understood.
There will be a time when he will be a hearing person in a deaf world, and the shoe will be on the other foot.
I’m grateful that he is open to learning sign language and has learned a few signs. It warms my heart when he tells me he loves me in British sign language (BSL), it means more than saying it verbally. It doesn’t mean he love me more or less, in whatever way he says I love you, but in BSL to me it means acceptance. It means I love the deaf you. More importantly when we have children there is a strong likelihood that we will have a deaf child (I really hope so) and our child will be brought up both orally and using sign language. I want my children to be able to fluidly move between both worlds. Something that I didn’t have the chance to do.
Overall I am very lucky to have found someone who completes me.
Goes to a loud concert…
Girlfriend: inserts ear plugs
Me: takes out hearing aids
Both: Perfect!
Title: Your Music To Create
Author: GayAFSlytherin / @gayafslytherin
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 19,808
Prompt #:1 - Piano playing/musical instrument
Senses: Touch and Hearing
Warnings: Mild BDSM elements
Summary:
Harry has taken up piano as a coping mechanism. However, he really wants to be part of a bigger group so he signs up to be the solo Pianist for an orchestra. What he doesn’t know is that Draco is going to be the solo Cellist for the orchestra as well. They’re both fascinated while watching the other play and, unexpectedly, by each other.
This work is part of the Taste of Smut Fest, a Harry Potter-centered fest dedicated to the five senses: taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight. If you’ve enjoyed this work, please do shower our content creators with kudos and comments!
Title: your arms, around my lungs
Author: HogwartsToAlexandria/@dwell-on-dreams
Pairing: Severus Snape/Sirius Black
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 1501
Prompt #: 97 - Even when they hate each other, even when they argue more than they talk, the sound of X’s regular breathing still brings Y solace when the nightmares don’t want to go away.
Senses: Hearing, Touch
Warnings: Arguments, Nightmares and Panic Attacks
Summary:
Even when they hate each other, even when they argue more than they talk, the sound of Sirius’ regular breathing still brings Severus solace when the nightmares don’t want to go away.
This work is part of the Taste of Smut Fest, a Harry Potter-centered fest dedicated to the five senses: taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight. If you’ve enjoyed this work, please do shower our content creators with kudos and comments!
Title: It starts with an inkpot
Author: @penguinanimagus / vivi1138
Pairing:Albus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 1897
Prompt#: 5 - Someone has played a prank and tossed Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder into the Slytherin boys dorms before sealing it shut. Albus and Scorpius are the only ones inside and they find that their other senses are heightened when they can’t see.
Senses: taste, smell, hearing, touch
Warnings: frottage/coming in pants
Summary:
When you have a crush on your best friend, sometimes all you need is a little push in the right direction. Being locked in your dorm, unable to see or be seen, might just be the perfect opportunity to confess.
This work is part of the Taste of Smut Fest, a Harry Potter-centered fest dedicated to the five senses: taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight. If you’ve enjoyed this work, please do shower our content creators with kudos and comments!
Title: Pottering with Potter
Author:keyflight790/@keyflight790
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 3593
Prompt #: 100 - Character A hosts a radio show and from time to time they accept listeners’ calls. They love the sound of character B’s voice and slowly, but surely, fall in love with them.
Senses: hearing
Warnings: N/A
Summary:
Harry doesn’t know why he has a wireless show either, but he’s going to make the best of it.
This work is part of the Taste of Smut Fest, a Harry Potter-centered fest dedicated to the five senses: taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight. If you’ve enjoyed this work, please do shower our content creators with kudos and comments!
everyone who listens to sleeping at last has one song that they feel so deeply in their soul it drives them just a bit insane, reblog this and tag yours. mine is jupiter!
See, I knew I wasn’t the only one.
My favourites are Hearing, and Saturn.
It’s that time of year again! There are a lot of dangers for pets around holidays, and July 4th in the U.S. is one of the worst.
More pets go missing during the 4th of July than any other day of the year.
Make sure your pets are microchipped and wearing tags with up-to-date information. If your cat is indoor-only, it’s a good idea to get them a bright orange collar like this oneso that people…