#marvelquotes
Peter: welcome to my very first vlog in which I will be trying different hair products.
Peter: *sprays hairspray into his mouth*
Peter: well, right off the bat, I can tell you that this is not very good.
Tony: what the fu-
Rhodey: How do you manage all these kids you keep getting?
Tony: The secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever.
Tony: This morning Morgan yelled out to me and when I showed up to see what was going on, Peter shot me in the throat with a nurf gun.
Tony: You can’t make everyone like you, you’re not Peter.
Steve: What? Not everyone likes Peter.
Tony: Who doesn’t?
Steve: Well-
Tony: Names, now, Steve. GIVE ME THIER NAMES!
Tony, deathly hungover: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was the king of ducks.
Steve, sipping his coffee: I would, but then I would be lying to the king of ducks.
Tony, sarcastically: Yeah, everything is great. We are just one big happy family. We are all having a great time.
Also Tony: I want to set either myself or this compound on fire.
Doctor, to pre-serum Steve: you should stop picking fights with people bigger than you.
Bucky: but everyone is bigger than him.
Steve: you want to die, bitchboy?
Computer: Please enter password
Steve: Tony
Computer: Too weak
Steve, destroying the computer: SAY THAT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER
Tony, holding a cauliflower in front of Steve’s face: what is this?
Steve: … a cauliflower?
Tony, to Peter: now tell Steve what you think it is.
Peter, arms folded: ghost broccoli
Peter: *points knife at emotions*
Peter: stay back, slut.
Steve: I’m going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to react, okay?
Tony: Sure.
Steve: If you want to live give me all your money!
Peter, loudly: Bold of you to assume I have any money.
Tony, over everyone’s shit: Bold of you to assume I want to live.
Steve: Are you a morning or a night person?
Tony: I don’t like being alive at any part of the day, thank you very much.
Peter: Mr Stark, could you please do me a small favour?
Tony: I will literally kill for you, but go on.
Steve: How long are we gonna stand here and let him do that?
Tony: Just give him a minute
Peter: [pushing on a door that clearly says pull]
Steve: That would go against my moral compass.
Bucky: Your moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel.
Random criminal: I’m here to kidnap you
Peter: I’ll have to ask my dad
Random criminal: it’s not a cho-
Peter: He said no
Howard: Was I a bad father, Tom?
Tony:
Tony: My name is Tony.
*Peter suddenly appears in the space ship*
Tony: Peter! You’re back! What happened?
Peter: I was starting to sing Bubblegum Bitch for the 12th time in the soul stone and it just yeeted me out.
