#iron spider
No way home
A vision Madam Web sent to Spider-Man to try and warn him of Kraven the Hunter’s family beginning their hunt for spiders.
Jessica Drew, Ben Reilly, Eddie Brock, and whoever is wearing the Iron Spider armor were not involved in the event, but appeared in a WHAT IF? Peter became Kraven the Hunter tie-in story. Julia Carpenter, who is featured in the story, is absent from this page but appears on the variant cover that was reused from this page.
Peter: look what I got!
Steve, without looking up from his magazine: no possums, Peter.
Tony: that’s not fair! There’s no rule saying we can’t have a possum.
Steve, pulling out the Avengers Family Rule Book: actually-
Steve, stroking Tony’s hair: You’re so tiny and adorable.
Tony, half asleep: I could literally kick your ass right now.
Steve, looking at Tony with heart eyes: I know.
Peter: welcome to my very first vlog in which I will be trying different hair products.
Peter: *sprays hairspray into his mouth*
Peter: well, right off the bat, I can tell you that this is not very good.
Tony: what the fu-
Peter: Tony! Can I ride this scooter Steve gave me?
Tony: sure whatever, I mean I’m not your dad.
Peter, running out: okay! thanks!
Tony, screaming after him: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY-
Peter: everyone keeps telling me what Tony would or wouldn’t want.
Peter: WELL GUESS WHAT, I’M MY OWN DAD NOW!
Peter: I’M GONNA HAVE COOKIES FOR BREAKFAST AND BEDTIME IS NEVER!
Tony, from the afterlife: fuck ‘em up son!
Rhodey: How do you manage all these kids you keep getting?
Tony: The secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever.
Tony: This morning Morgan yelled out to me and when I showed up to see what was going on, Peter shot me in the throat with a nurf gun.
*Peter screams from another room*
Steve: What was that?
Tony: I don’t know. I think Peter saw himself in the mirror.
Peter, from afar: MR STARK! THERE’S ANOTHER ME ON THE WALL!
Tony: JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF! I’M SURE HE IS NICE!
Tony: You can’t make everyone like you, you’re not Peter.
Steve: What? Not everyone likes Peter.
Tony: Who doesn’t?
Steve: Well-
Tony: Names, now, Steve. GIVE ME THIER NAMES!
Bucky: *pulls out a knife*
Steve: oh no
Bucky: *opens are cardboard box with it*
Steve: oh okay
Bucky: *pulls a gun out of the box*
Steve: oh no
Tony, deathly hungover: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was the king of ducks.
Steve, sipping his coffee: I would, but then I would be lying to the king of ducks.
Tony, sarcastically: Yeah, everything is great. We are just one big happy family. We are all having a great time.
Also Tony: I want to set either myself or this compound on fire.
Peter: I would kill for you, Mr Thor!
Thor, gripping his shoulder: Well, that’s not necessary-
Peter: Oh, that’s a relief, because I would do it, but it would weigh on me.
Doctor, to pre-serum Steve: you should stop picking fights with people bigger than you.
Bucky: but everyone is bigger than him.
Steve: you want to die, bitchboy?
Computer: Please enter password
Steve: Tony
Computer: Too weak
Steve, destroying the computer: SAY THAT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER
Tony, holding a cauliflower in front of Steve’s face: what is this?
Steve: … a cauliflower?
Tony, to Peter: now tell Steve what you think it is.
Peter, arms folded: ghost broccoli
Peter: oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers.
Tony, crying: please just say fuck.
