#new blog
Okay, after much debate, I’ve decided to move tumblrs. As attached to this one as I am, and for all the memories I have, I just really needed a fresh start with it. URL will be the same, so go follow me again here again if you’d like to ^.^
Okay, after much debate, I’ve decided to move tumblrs. As attached to this one as I am, and for all the memories I have, I just really needed a fresh start with it. URL will be the same, so go follow me again here again if you’d like to ^.^
Okay, after much debate, I’ve decided to move tumblrs. As attached to this one as I am, and for all the memories I have, I just really needed a fresh start with it. URL will be the same, so go follow me again here again if you’d like to ^.^
Hello! Welcome to my blog. Please enjoy and send me any questions or messages you have! Thank you!
こんにちは！私のブログへようこそ。楽しんでください そしてあなたが持っている質問やメッセージを送って！ありがとう！
Forgive my poor Japanese, I am practicing.
あまり にほんご が できません。 わたし お しんこく えんしゅう。
You’re just sad.
I have depression. It’s simple right? Everyone knows depression, it’s that thing that makes you sad. Isn’t it?
I wish it was just sadness, because sadness I can explain. Sadness makes sense to people. Something bad happens and then you’re sad, simple.
But sadness makes up a very small part of depression and everyone’s depression manifests in different ways.
I find it hard at times to explain my depression because I don’t have words that fit with what I feel, or I don’t feel.
My episodes of depression can begin very slowly. I don’t even see it coming. It creeps in bit by bit.
I suppose I first noticed it when I become tearful a lot easier. There’s the sadness aspect to it. I would relive painful memories often.
Then there can be moments of anger or numbness, fear or being overwhelmed. Suddenly all these emotions take over and you don’t always know what you’re actually feeling. However you carry on with everyday life and try to ignore the black cloud moving over you. You say ‘I’m fine’ to anyone who asks. But slowly you begin to fade into the darkness, nothing matters anymore. You become so exhausted from trying to get through each day.
People might see you as being ‘moody’ or ‘distant’ but you don’t mean to be. You withdraw yourself to protect others because you like a burden being around them.
Everything you once knew and everything you could do becomes difficult. The smallest of tasks feel impossible. There are days that brushing your teeth, or making a drink just feel overwhelming. You feel silly saying to people that you’re struggling with these things as you think they should be simple.
Depression strips you of all sense of security, you question everything. I often don’t feel human, it’s like I’m walking in a bubble and nothing around me feels real. I dissociate often and feel really lost. I never feel like I’m good enough and no matter what I do I just won’t be okay. It’s draining feeling so negative all the time.
And often people say things like ‘think positively’, ‘you have so much to live for’, ‘just stay busy’, ‘you’ve felt like this before, it will pass’. For me no matter what you say my brain will just shut it down, I can’t think positively, I don’t want to live, I am too tired to stay busy and great I’ve felt like this before but doesn’t mean I want to go through it again and it doesn’t make this any easier.
I’m sure it feels impossible to be around me, I can even feel how miserable I am to be around. But I genuinely can’t help it.
Depression isn’t just one bad day, or when something doesn’t go your way. It’s crippling. For me it’s chronic, it’s something I have to face time and time again. My brain doesn’t produce the right amount of chemicals.
I work so hard to get through life, i try and make the right choices and I honestly don’t want to be depressed.
So, to any of you fighting depression, I see you. I know you’re trying to fight when you feel like flying.
Depression isn’t just sadness!
Happiness
Do you ever wonder if we’re born with a certain amount of happiness and once you’ve used it all then it’s gone.
And certain events take off so much happiness from you, like trauma or grief.
And what if I’ve used mine up and my tank is empty and I’m just fighting for the scrappy bits at the bottom. Like when your car runs out of fuel.
A car you can refill with fuel but what if I can’t refill with happiness and I’m just left with this empty tank. When you leave a car with no fuel it doesn’t move and it’s just stuck in one place and if you try to move, parts slowly break and soon the car becomes useless and only good for scrap.
No one wants a useless car. No one wants an empty human.
hello my lovely followers!
i wanted to inform you,
that i’m going to delete this blog in a few days.
thanks for the wonderful time, i enjoyed it and a lot of love back to you!
but, i also got good news!
a few weeks ago i started a new blog.
so we got the chance to stay in touch.
my new blog is going to be about :
male/female models, soft grunge, fashion, quotes,…
take a look at it :)
bye :-*
http://xhopelesswandererx.tumblr.com/
I’m back!
I’ve been semi-retired from writing erotica(/porn) since 2018, but I’ve been itching to get back to it and I have an idea for what will be my most ambitious story yet.
It’s called “My Feminist Journey” and will take the form of a fictional blog, told in real time over an entire year, and it’s already begun! It’ll show the journey Alison (the main character) goes through, from staunch angry feminist (/feminazi) to eager happy fucktoy.
As the story will be told in real time, through blog posts and reblogs, there might not be much erotic action for the first few months. Which, I know, is a bummer. It is, however, what the story needs and it’ll help make the journey that much more believable and in the end much more enjoyable.
Who doesn’t love watching a “good” girl turn bad? ;-)
To support the writing of this huge project, I’ve made a Patreon account, which will also have exclusive content, such as ways to interact with Alison’s journey.
I’ll also post (at least) one brand new Patreon exclusive story there every month, plus offer free books for the first six months.
I’ve made three tiers, to start with.
- The $3 tier is simple. It’s access to the Patreon with all its updates and the additional benefits outlined above.
- The $5 tier is the above, plus the option to ask Alison in character questions on the blog. It’s a small, but meaningful and immersive, way to affect the story and her journey. You can either ask these questions from your own BDSMLR account, anonymously or post them here and I’ll handle it.
- The $10 tier is all of the above, plus the ability to cast votes in polls here on Patreon about the story. These can range from simply naming characters to big life-changing events in Alison’s life.
Everybit of support is hugely appreciated!
You can find the Patreon account by clicking this link and find the blog itself by searching for it on my other site, the one Tumblr doesn’t like us linking to, ButDoSearchMyLovely “Roleplay” blog there.
I hope you’ll join me and Alison on her journey from man-hating feminist to docile fucktoy!
Post link
Hey there! Everyone should go follow @fubasexme. He’s new to Tumblr and is looking to make some friends! Not to mention he has a pretty neat blog! So please, if you have the time go check out his blog!
Hello!
For the longest while I wanted to make an art-only blog.
So here it is!! My art only blog, I won’t call it my main blog because I still will be more in my reblog blog @revichan
Also I don’t know how much I’ll post on this blog because I rarely draw anymore
Anyway this is a drawing I made of myself a few months ago, I’m still kinda proud of it.
Post link
Aye i’m the other admin Skylar. I’ll mostly be doing fake texts/ snapchats, one-shots/blurbs, picture edits (like making lock screens and such), maybe reactions and possibly some fics once i’m confident enough to post the things i’ve actually written already. The fandoms i’ve been writing a lot for lately are Supernatural and 5 seconds of summer but i’m also into Exo and starting to get into Nct and there are plenty more so if you want me to write you something just let me know. Like Charlie said if it’s not one of our mains, still send a request and if either of us are familiar we’ll write it. In the About section of Skylar we find that i’m definitely a Dean girl, i was forcefully taken against my will into the Kpop fandoms as Charlie explained previously, and i’m on Tumblr for at least 2 hours of my day reading fan fiction until i decided to start writing my own. I really hope you guys enjoy my work and i highly encourage constructive criticism!
Admin Skylar
Hiya! Welcome to our blog! I’m Charlie and i’m one of the admins. The other admin is Skylar and she’ll post her own intro after this. I’m mainly going to be doing fake texts, bulleted scenarios, blurbs/drabbles, and reactions. i may write some fics when i get more comfortable with my writing. My main fandoms that i’m going to be writing for are NCT, EXO, and Monsta X. However, if you want something for a different fandom that isn’t one of our mains, feel free to request it and if Skylar or i are familiar with that fandom we may do it! A little bit about myself, my life has been taken over by Kpop and i unintentionally dragged Skylar down with me, i’m almost an entire foot taller than Skylar, and my favorite color is maroon. I mainly stan NCT but i love EXO too. My NCT ult is mr. Lee “full sun” Donghyuck and my EXO bias is Chanyeol. So yeah, that’s a little bit about me! Feel free to send in requests and asks!
Admin Charlie
trying so hard to give him fuck me eyes but instead putting all my focus on understanding what the hell this guy is mumbling
Posting some of my sketchbook pages, research work, in the style of ect. Tracey Emin research work.
Post link
A commission piece done last year. A1 size, graphite on paper. Open to requests/commissions. Let me know what you think!
Post link
Chuck close research page, my work in bottom right hand corner using primarily fingerprints.
Post link
