Hey oh… no, don’t worry. I won’t push the pun any further. Today marks yet another World Mental Health Day and I’d initially planned to write some needlessly long blog post about how important it is for us to talk and mind our minds, but I think that message is well and truly echoed around the world as is. So, instead, I want to talk about dignity, which just so happens to be the theme of this…
Today, October 10, we celebrate #WorldMentalHealthDay! Yes. It’s okay to admit that you’re not doing alright. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings than push them aside.
But let’s be more hopeful that this period of not being okay doesn’t last forever. And one day, all shall be well.
This morning I downloaded this app called Woebot and it’s AI that you just chat text with. It’s a self-care expert that gives you advice like a therapist would. It’s also completely free, I’m even using it without an account.
I’ve only had it for a few hours and I already love it so far looks like Wall-E and reminds me of Baymax
Just thought I’ll share it, in case anyone wants to check it out, especially during these trying times and just if your struggling with mental health in general!
I have depression. It’s simple right? Everyone knows depression, it’s that thing that makes you sad. Isn’t it?
I wish it was just sadness, because sadness I can explain. Sadness makes sense to people. Something bad happens and then you’re sad, simple.
But sadness makes up a very small part of depression and everyone’s depression manifests in different ways.
I find it hard at times to explain my depression because I don’t have words that fit with what I feel, or I don’t feel.
My episodes of depression can begin very slowly. I don’t even see it coming. It creeps in bit by bit.
I suppose I first noticed it when I become tearful a lot easier. There’s the sadness aspect to it. I would relive painful memories often.
Then there can be moments of anger or numbness, fear or being overwhelmed. Suddenly all these emotions take over and you don’t always know what you’re actually feeling. However you carry on with everyday life and try to ignore the black cloud moving over you. You say ‘I’m fine’ to anyone who asks. But slowly you begin to fade into the darkness, nothing matters anymore. You become so exhausted from trying to get through each day.
People might see you as being ‘moody’ or ‘distant’ but you don’t mean to be. You withdraw yourself to protect others because you like a burden being around them.
Everything you once knew and everything you could do becomes difficult. The smallest of tasks feel impossible. There are days that brushing your teeth, or making a drink just feel overwhelming. You feel silly saying to people that you’re struggling with these things as you think they should be simple.
Depression strips you of all sense of security, you question everything. I often don’t feel human, it’s like I’m walking in a bubble and nothing around me feels real. I dissociate often and feel really lost. I never feel like I’m good enough and no matter what I do I just won’t be okay. It’s draining feeling so negative all the time.
And often people say things like ‘think positively’, ‘you have so much to live for’, ‘just stay busy’, ‘you’ve felt like this before, it will pass’. For me no matter what you say my brain will just shut it down, I can’t think positively, I don’t want to live, I am too tired to stay busy and great I’ve felt like this before but doesn’t mean I want to go through it again and it doesn’t make this any easier.
I’m sure it feels impossible to be around me, I can even feel how miserable I am to be around. But I genuinely can’t help it.
Depression isn’t just one bad day, or when something doesn’t go your way. It’s crippling. For me it’s chronic, it’s something I have to face time and time again. My brain doesn’t produce the right amount of chemicals.
I work so hard to get through life, i try and make the right choices and I honestly don’t want to be depressed.
So, to any of you fighting depression, I see you. I know you’re trying to fight when you feel like flying.
For years I suffered with my mental health. I’ve lost people to suicide and I’ve attempted it myself. It’s scary saying that but it’s the truth.
I want to focus on the good that I have in my life at the moment as I’ve spent years only seeing the negative.
* I’ve had interviews for a new job (got the one job, waiting to hear on the other).
* I’m learning to drive, finally
* My flat feels like home, after redecorating extensively
* I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 4 years
* I’ve been discharged from the mental health team for over 2 months
* I’m on a good antidepressant
* I’m back playing sport
* I’m planning my future
* I’m loving volunteering
* I have amazing friends and family
What I’m saying is that I hit rock bottom, I saw no way out, I tried to end it all, I hated my life, I hated myself. BUT I’m here right now telling you I never thought I would be so happy. I love who I am right now, I’m a kind, caring, determined, feisty, passionate person who still suffers with depression some days but I wake up and fight, I work hard to make every day great.
Suicide is a real issue in our society, we need to be open about it. We need to be able to talk openly. I spent years hiding my illnesses but it did me no good.
I am not ashamed to say I attempted Suicide, I was not selfish, I was not inconsiderate… I was sick!
If you are in a dark place right now, please seek help. Find a good friend, ring a support line, see your GP, message me, knock on my door, find something to hold onto.
If you’re low, that’s okay, we are all struggling with something. But don’t feel low alone!
I know mental health isn’t inherently LGBTQ+, but I know a lot of people in this community struggle with it. So I decided to make a couple of lockscreens based on one of my favorite quotes!
Here is one with rainbows! And I made another version that anyone can use!
Whether you are part of the LGBT community, or just someone who struggles with mental health, I hope these lockscreens are something that you all can enjoy!
Survivors of sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, sexual assault, and rape often relive trauma again and again to prove that they’re traumatized in order to establish credibility with institutional powers and the justice system. Invasive ordeals compound the subjugation and humiliation experienced; all of this is necessary, survivors are told, for accountability and justice. Survivors are expected to behave, respect, remember, grieve, stay focused and maintain work ethic, suppress anguish, be strong, and divulge excruciating moments to strangers. Bearing witness to these details should only be accessed at the survivor’s will, on their time, and on their public or private terms at which point divulgence to their chosen person(s) can be an act of catharsis and empowerment for the survivor.
A year and a half ago, I vowed to myself to help other women and minorities access expert compassionate care; to heal and never lose faith in the beautiful collective humanity that I know exists; to go forth with confidence and strengthened dedication to well-being; for trauma to serve as a model of human insight; and for survivorship to serve as a conduit to empathy and expertise. I’ve since learned and unlearned: writing, as it once was, is still my catharsis and light and being; vulnerability is courageous and opening oneself up to another human is an act of resilience; post-trauma’s effects can easily be reignited with fresh trauma; survival may be dependent upon continually seeking care; and openly discussing anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues is the most powerful way to break down stigma.
I write for every woman who wishes to write, who has spoken truth to power that protects and perpetuates gender-based discrimination, gender-based violence, sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, sexual assault, and rape. I write for every woman who wishes to write, who has been met with sexist and tired statements including and not limited to, “He’s a good guy” and “He’s talented,” as if talent (and often, statistically unsupported overconfidence), “niceness,” and bro culture that both men and women protect and perpetuate, somehow excuses the behavior and/or crime, and discomfort, anxiety, and depression that the woman endured. I write for every woman who wishes to write, who has endured gaslighting,victim blaming, shaming, stigma, and judgment.
“Being told that, categorically, he knows what he’s talking about and she doesn’t, however minor a part of any given conversation, perpetuates the ugliness of this world and holds back its light. After my book Wanderlust came out in 2000, I found myself better able to resist being bullied out of my own perceptions and interpretations. On two occasions around that time, I objected to the behavior of a man, only to be told that the incidents hadn’t happened at all as I said, that I was subjective, delusional, overwrought, dishonest—in a nutshell, female.”
Excerpted from Men Explain Things to Me, by Rebecca Solnit.
“When I sat down and wrote the essay Men Explain Things to Me, here’s what surprised me: though I began with a ridiculous example of being patronized by a man, I ended with rapes and murders. We tend to treat violence and the abuse of power as though they fit into airtight categories: harassment, intimidation, threat, battery, rape, murder. But I realize now that what I was saying is: it’s a slippery slope. That’s why we need to address that slope, rather than compartmentalizing the varieties of misogyny and dealing with each separately. Doing so has meant fragmenting the picture, seeing the parts, not the whole.
A man acts on the belief that you have no right to speak and that you don’t get to define what’s going on. That could just mean cutting you off at the dinner table or the conference. It could also mean telling you to shut up, or threatening you if you open your mouth, or beating you for speaking, or killing you to silence you forever. He could be your husband, your father, your boss or editor, or the stranger at some meeting or on the train, or the guy you’ve never seen who’s mad at someone else but thinks ‘women’ is a small enough category that you can stand in for ‘her.’ He’s there to tell you that you have no rights.
Threats often precede acts, which is why the targets of online rape and death threats take them seriously, even though the sites that allow them and the law enforcement officials that generally ignore them apparently do not. Quite a lot of women are murdered after leaving a boyfriend or husband who believes he owns her and that she has no right to self-determination.”
Rebecca Solnit on why #YesAllWomen matters, and why phrases like domestic violence, mansplaining, rape culture, and sexual entitlement help us address issues honestly and open the way to change.
Note that academic institutions and the justice system have historically protected classism, white supremacy, and patriarchy. Note the published phrases used to describe Brock Turner, the man who sexually assaulted Chanel Miller: “baby-faced Stanford freshman,” “All-American swimmer,” “Stanford swimmer,” and winning swimming times were promulgated by journalists to uphold Turner’s privilege and Stanford’s reputation.
Asian women experience and intersect with racism, sexism, and misogyny in ways that are shared with women of other races and separately, unique to us. Everyone must acknowledge the dehumanization of Asian women—including hyper sexualization and fetishization—and acknowledge its unequivocal link to American colonialism, imperialism, and militarization in Asian countries. Asian women and all women of color are often asked, “Why didn’t you report it?” The obvious reasons include trauma; lack of financial resources; immigration status; mistrust of the justice system; and shame, societal- and self-stigma, and risk of alienation from families, friends, and ethnic communities.
So how do we move forward? First, we must support both cis- and transgender women, other marginalized groups, and survivors of all genders. Recognize whether there is a tendency to victim-blame, and listen to survivors of all intersecting identities whether they choose to publicly or privately disclose details of their traumas. Identify responsibilities—as a professional, as a human—and support survivors by working to eradicate systemic issues of harmful masculine idealsandrape culture. Understand that yes, all sexism is linked to rape culture; work to confront, disrupt, and eradicate issues of sexism at its rearing. Support community health centersandPlanned Parenthood centers, where low-income women and minorities will be treated with expert compassionate care.Support public libraries and access to computers, free Internet, and digital literacy tools. Know that these tools are intrinsically linked to audibility and survival.
To my support network: I love you and am grateful for your love and support these past years. You remember when I was confident, uninhibited, and assertive; when I lost that for some time; and my re-emergence, grown, growing, and resilient.
I recognize my privilege and know that many survivors are struggling with alienation from family and friends and may be unsure where to seek support. Please find verified resources below:
BetterBrave is a guide to identifying and addressing sexual harassment.
Equal Rights Advocates is a nonprofit legal organization dedicated to protecting and expanding economic and educational access and opportunities for women.
Me Too is a movement that supports survivors of sexual violence and their allies by connecting survivors to healing resources, and offering community organizing resources, information regarding pursuing a “me too” policy platform, and sexual violence research.
The National Women’s Law Center works to protect and advance the progress of women and girls at work and in school, with special attention given to the needs of low-income women and families.
Rise is a multi-sector coalition of sexual assault survivors and allies working to empower all survivors with civil rights and in 2016, drafted and passed the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights unanimously through Congress.
The TIME’S UP Legal Defense Fund supports the brave individuals who have come forward, at great risk to themselves, to seek the justice they deserve and to protect others from similar behavior. It is administered by the National Women’s Law Center.
This very riveting documentary short Laughing Matters: The Funny Business of Being SadfromSoulPancake, Funny or Die, director Mike Bernstein, and producer/editor Georgia Koch shows how depression has woven its way through the lives of many of your favorite comedic writers, actors, and stand-ups and how they’ve managed to cope.
Included in the doc are harrowing stories of such celebrated funny people Chris Gethard, Sarah Silverman, Rachel Bloom, Baron Vaughn, Neal Brennan, Aparna Nancherla, Rainn Wilson, Sara Benincasa, Riki Lindhome, Wayne Brady, and Anna Akana.
It is indeed #WorldMentalHealthDay and it’s especially worth watching today, but how Laughing Matters effectively navigates the thread of everyone journey with depression, anxiety, and more in this doc is pretty amazing and worth a watch at any time. It’s yet another reminder of how prolific issues with mental health are and why it’s important to take care of it and to know that you’re not alone in how you feel (even though it might feel that way)
Today is World Mental Health Day and it’s never been more important, especially given how tough this year has been for many.
It’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to feel lost and scared. It’s okay to feel angry. Everyone’s experience of mental health is different but you are never truly alone.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. Because you are NOT a burden and people will want to listen. Help can come from the most surprising of places.
It will get better. The dark will become light once again.
