The thing about the Nightcloud/Crowfeather/Breezepelt dynamic is that all of it is told from other characters’ perspectives, which means we really can’t get an accurate read on each characters’ true emotions.
Which is really a shame because the whole thing really IS difficult to interpret.
But let’s try to analyze the scenes that we do get and try to come to a reasonable conclusion, shall we?
Breezepelt Thinks: That Crowfeather hates him.
This idea is backed up in universe by:
The three repeatedly noting that Crowfeather seems to dislike him - These scenes are in the book to serve as an ironic foreshadowing to Crowfeather being their father, and while they do show that he’s an /emotionally unavailable/ father, the worst thing he does in these scenes is scold Breezepelt when he misbehaves and not compliment his catch. That is hardly abusive.
The Dark Forest Cats literally lying to actively Manipulate Breezepelt, and then Breezepelt parroting back the words that they fed him - These scenes are unreliable because these are DARK FOREST CATS and they are LYING and Breezepelt is BUYING THE LIE. These things didn’t HAPPEN, and Brokenstar of all cats should NOT be the paragon by which we judge anyone’s parenting skills.
And a collection of other scenes where Breezepelt is scolded for misbehaving by Crowfeather - Which are in the book to establish Breezepelt as a Problem. Also, scolding your child does not mean you hate them or that you are abusive
Nightcloud Thinks: That Crowfeather doesn’t love either of them
It is, explicitly, true that Crowfeather doesn’t love her. There’s no arguments there. And while that sucks, and Crowfeather is in the wrong for taking her as a mate, he also doesn’t owe it to her to love her. You can’t owe romantic feelings to anyone.
But there’s really nothing to back up the idea that Crowfeather doesn’t love Breezepelt in Nightcloud’s eyes. The only scene I can think of is one where Breeze(paw) runs around to check the borders, and when he gets back Crowfeather double checks to make sure he checked the entire perimeter, at which point Nightcloud severely overreacts and accuses him of not trusting Breeze(paw). To my eyes this speaks more to Nightcloud’s extreme protectiveness than to Crowfeather’s abuse - literally all he did was double check that his son completed a task at a time of great importance.
Crowfeather Things: That Nightcloud is overprotective and that she is encouraging his son to hate him
This idea is backed up in universe by:
Several scenes of Nightcloud separating him from Breezepelt - Including the aforementioned border checking, and the Daylight Gathering incident, where he actively tries to help carry and tend to his injured son, and is not allowed to do so by Nightcloud. This scene serves no other purpose than to show Crowfeather’s care for his son and Nightcloud’s refusal to let him.
Nightcloud’s repeatedly demonstrated jealousy for Leafpool which - while justified on paper - literally leads to her clawing and Crowfeather and yelling at him in front of clanmates the moment he so much as glances as her. ~Which actually IS abuse~ ! Physical and Emotional ! And while these scenes are there to show that Leafpool and Crowfeather are still in love (which is awful for Nightcloud but does NOT justify her being abusive in turn), Nightcloud’s reaction is only there to show her character.
Breezepelt’s view is manipulated by the Dark Forest Cats.
Nightcloud’s view is clouded by her jealousy, which (again, justified on paper) leads her to literally abusing Crowfeather.
Crowfeather’s view is the only one which is backed up by scenes not serving an alternate purpose and is not clouded by an external motivation.
So the dynamic is:
Breezepelt hates his dad because his mother didn’t let them bond, because he scolds him when he misbehaves, and because literal cats from hell told him to
Nightcloud hates Crowfeather because he doesn’t love her (fair), so she resolves to set Breezepelt against him and physically and emotionally abuse him (unfair)
Crowfeather doesn’t love Nightcloud (which sucks), but he does at least try to be a parent to Breezepelt (he isn’t especially good at it) only to have every attempt thwarted by either Nightcloud or Breezepelt, only for the latter to turn around and tell him he was never trying because of the hell cats mentioned above
There is really no reason for us to believe that Crowfeather was abusive and didn’t love his son. What he /was/ is strict and snappy - which is and has always been his personality. What he /was/ is emotionally distant - which is awful, sure, but it isn’t abuse. He wasn’t a good father, but there’s nothing to suggest that he was an abusive father either.
What we can believe is that Breezepelt’s hatred of Crowfeather wasn’t justified (HIS IDEAS CAME FROM CAT HELL) and that Nightcloud was overprotective of Breezepelt and abusive towards Crowfeather.
