After watching episode 3 of Kenobi, I rewatched The Phantom Menace and I am feeling a certain way about things.
Little Anakin is so cute. He’s so sweet and genuine and he has such generosity of spirit. I understand why Qui-Gon believed in him. Of course he would think there’s no way this boy could grow up to be so violent, to drag someone he loved across a burning fire. How could he?
I see Obi-Wan with an arm around Anakin and turning to Anakin and promising him, promising him that he will be a Jedi. The weight of that promise being that Obi-Wan will stand with him and guide him and teach him so that he can become the best version of himself, the one that he dreams he can be. Obi-Wan promises to love him.
Before Obi-Wan makes that promise, we’re shown the seeds of Vader. They are small. Those seeds are so small. They are so tiny they haven’t even started to break from their shell. But they are there. And someone has to recognize them. Someone has to point them out and look at them and ask what they will grow into and ask if it’s really a good idea to water and fertilize the good sprouts when the bad seeds could grow along with them. Maybe it would be better to let fate take its course. Maybe on their own, the bad seeds won’t grow so large. Maybe they won’t even grow at all.
When the Council shines a light on those seeds, Qui-Gon disregards them because he sees how great the good sprout could grow. He says look at this beautiful plant I have nurtured, let me do the same for another. He’s not finished nurturing the first plant.
When the Council asks Anakin to take a look at those seeds, examine them, study them to see what they truly are, he refuses. When they ask if he is prepared to dig them out, because he is the only one who can dig them out, he refuses. He glares at them when they step back.
But the sprout is so good and full and has so much potential. There is time, he will grow, and he can learn to examine the bad seeds within. He can learn to see them for what they are and root them out so that they don’t strangle the good growth. He will not choose to let them grow. They have faith.
Qui-Gon asks his first plant to share with the new one, to guide him, to let him grow, to nurture him. And he does. Obi-Wan does all of that for Anakin and more. He allows them to become intertwined and supports Anakin as he grows but Anakin does not grow to stand on his own. Because ten years later he still refuses to examine the bad seeds and dig them out, they have grown beneath the dirt and strangle the roots of that sweet and genuine boy who helped those strangers in need. His good stems are struggling because of it.
The bad seeds breach the surface and Anakin pushes them back under the soil. He doesn’t snip them. He doesn’t pull them out by the roots. He doesn’t even dig into the dirt to study them. He buries them so that Obi-Wan won’t see. So that he won’t have to see.
They continue to grow together anyway. Until the bad seeds breach the soil again and Obi-Wan has to snip the stems because Anakin won’t do it himself. He didn’t snip them deep enough. They grew back. And now that little boy who had such generosity and so much love to give to others is dragging the man who promised to love him across a blazing fire.
Surprise! I wrote this quick fic yesterday and finished it this morning. It has references to Episode 3 of Obi-Wan Kenobi so be careful if you’re trying to avoid spoilers :)
They (the Jedi) trained more than anything else to understand the transitional nature of life, that things are constantly changing and you can’t hold on to anything. You can love things but you can’t be attached to them, you must be willing to let the flow of life and the flow of the Force move through your life, move through you. So that you can be compassionate and loving and caring, but not be possessive and grabbing and holding on to things and trying to keep things the way they are. Letting go is the central theme of the film.
- George Lucas, Star Wars Archives 1999-2005 (2020)
Since we haven’t started the @jedijune prompts yet, I thought I’d just do a bit of a teaser for what I have planned.
A lot of my Jedi content this month will focus on their relationship with younglings, and there’s not better way to start things off than to remind you all that Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi actually spoils kids a lot and always have.
There’s just so much softness and love and fondness here, and it’s beautiful.
+ Bonus: Yes, he spoiled Anakin too, just a bit <3
He turned to watch as the collection plant shrieked like the damned in a Corellian hell, crumbling over the brink of the falls until it vanished into invisible destruction.
Obi-Wan lowered his head. “Good-bye, old friend.” But the Force whispered a warning, and Obi-Wan lifted his head in time to see Anakin come hurtling toward him out from the boil of smoke above the falls, perched on a tiny repulsorlift droid. The little droid was vastly swifter than Obi-Wan’s logy old cargo platform, and Anakin was easily able to swing around Obi-Wan and cut him off from the shore. Obi-Wan shifted weight one way, then another, but Anakin’s droid was nimble as a sand panther; there was no way around, and this close to the lava, the heat was intense enough to crisp Obi-Wan’s hair.
“This is the end for you, Master,” he said. “I wish it were otherwise.”
“Yes, Anakin, so do I,” Obi-Wan said as he sprinted into a leaping dive, making a spear of his blade.
Anakin leaned aside and deflected the thrust almost contemptuously; he missed a cut at Obi-Wan’s legs as the Jedi Master flew past him.
Obi-Wan turned his dive into a forward roll that left him barely teetering on the rim of a low cliff, just above the soft black sand of the riverbank. Anakin snarled a curse as he realized he’d been suckered, and leapt off his droid at Obi-Wan’s back-Half a second too slow.
Obi-Wan’s whirl to parry didn’t meet Anakin’s blade. It met his knee. Then his other knee.
And while Anakin was still in the air, burned-off lower legs only starting their topple down the cliff, Obi-Wan’s recovery to guard brought his blade through Anakin’s left arm above the elbow. He stepped back as Anakin fell.
Anakin dropped his lightsaber, clawing at the edge of the cliff with his mechanical hand, but his grip was too powerful for the lava bank and it crumbled, and he slid down onto the black sand. His severed legs and his severed arm rolled into the lava below him and burned to ash in sudden bursts of scarlet flame.
The same color, Obi-Wan observed distantly, as a Sith blade. Anakin scrabbled at the soft black sand, but struggling only made him slip farther.
The sand itself was hot enough that digging his durasteel fingers into it burned off his glove, and his robes began to smolder.
Obi-Wan picked up Anakin’s lightsaber. He lifted his own as well, weighing them in his hands. Anakin had based his design upon Obi-Wan’s. So similar they were. So differently they had been used. “Obi-Wan … ?”
He looked down. Flame licked the fringes of Anakin’s robe, and his long hair had blackened, and was beginning to char.
“You were the chosen one! It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them. It was you who would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness. You were my brother, Anakin,” said Obi-Wan Kenobi. “I loved you, but I could not save you.
"A flash of metal through the sky, and Obi-Wan felt the darkness closing in around them both. He knew that ship: the Chancellor’s shuttle. Now, he supposed, the Emperor’s shuttle. Yoda had failed. He might have died. He might have left Obi-Wan alone: the last Jedi. Below his feet, Darth Vader burst into flame. "I hate you,” he screamed.
Obi-Wan looked down. It would be a mercy to kill him. He was not feeling merciful.
He was feeling calm, and clear, and he knew that to climb down to that black beach might cost him more time than he had. Another Sith Lord approached.
In the end, there was only one choice. It was a choice he had made many years before, when he had passed his trials of Jedi Knighthood, and sworn himself to the Jedi forever. In the end, he was still Obi-Wan Kenobi, and he was still a Jedi, and he would not murder a helpless man.
He would leave it to the will of the Force. He turned and walked away. After a moment, he began to run.
He began to run because he realized, if he was fast enough, there was one thing he still could do for Anakin. He still could do honor to the memory of the man he had loved, and to the vanished Order they both had served.
Hmm unpopular opinion maybe but just not agreeing with the Council 100% of the time doesn’t make you a maverick. Jedi aren’t a dictatorship and they aren’t actually expected to blindly follow their leaders without question; in fact, they are taught from childhood that they should always think for themselves and not go with whatever someone else says. That was, like, half the point of the Ilum arc.
Dooku is already one of the greatest duelists among the ranks of Jedi knights, and for that reason Jo rarely agrees to a match. She does, however, know his style inside and out, and because of this, she is almost always able to force a draw (worse than losing in Dooku’s mind). And for that reason, Dooku almost never challenges her!
Help us to bring darkness into the light, To lift out the pain, the anger, Where it can be seen for what it is— The balance-wheel for our vulnerable, aching love.
