#ren x nora

Jaune:*Glares at Yang and Blake giggling and feeding each other finger foods*

*Jaune runs up, flips the table over scattering food and making the two girls jump before running away - escaping through their 23rd floor window*

—————–

Ruby:Mmmmm.*Is kissed*

Oscar:*Pulls back from kiss, smiling gently*

Jaune:*Irritated*

Oscar:*Steps back* How about we take Jaune home, baby?

Jaune:*RKO outta nowhere’s Oscar*

Ruby:*Shrieks*What the heck, Jaune!?

Jaune:*Is too busy being a viper, hissing and staring at the unconscious Oscar’s body*

—————–

Glynda:*Laughs cheerfully into scroll* Oh Bart–

*Jaune angrily runs up and slaps her scroll to the ground, stomps it into pieces, glares at her and then proceeds to sprint out of the rebuilding Vale*

—————–

Nora:HA! You’re no match for Renny and me’s sick combos, fearless leader! *Button mashes as Ren smiles next to her*

Ren:*Rubs Nora’s back*

Jaune:*Triggered af, proceeds to fall back on years of video gaming and utterly destroys them both*

Nora:Awww. We’re dead, Renny.

Ren:I wouldn’t have it any other way than together, Nora. *Nora tears up*

*Glass shatters as Jaune chucks the console out the window and dives out of it like a professional swimmer*

—————– 

Weiss:*Excitedly*And then he actually proposed! Right there, with the sunset and the waves crashing on the beach and *tears up a bit* it was just so romantic of him.

Sun:Gotta give it to my boy, conquering the ocean for his girl is pretty cool.

Neptune:*Blushes*

*Jaune has had enough of the engagement party, flings glass of wine at Weiss whose mouth drops open as she drips with it and steals Sun’s glass from a stunned hand, does the same to Neptune*

Jaune: Good day! *Storms off*

—————–

Raven:*Uncomfortable, embarrassed* You actually mean that, don’t you?

Tai:*Very serious* Do you think I’d joke about something like this, Rae?

*Raven looks sad, but hopeful. Jaune, who was busy digging up a tree for Tai felt his blood boil and chucked a huge amount of dirt at the two of them*

Tai:*Yells and falls into his house*

Raven:*Spitting, yanking at the chest of her top before freezing* MY HAIR!!!

*Jaune runs*

—————–

Qrow:*Clapping Winter’s cheeks*

Winter:*Getting clapped and loving it*

Jaune:*Enters room, freezes*

Also Jaune: *Aims scroll at the two and takes a picture*

Qrow:What the fuck!? *Trying to hide his dick*

Winter:*Lets out a little scream and tries to pull pants up* N-no, please, delete it - aaahhhh, he’s leaving! *Sprints after him*

—————–

Maria: Ahh, I’ve been waiting all day for this.

*Happily eating pistachio ice cream cone*

Jaune:*Angrily smacks her cone to the sidewalk, splattering and shattering it* Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit!

—————– 

Jaune:*Walking into his apartment after several annoying days angrily* –with that shit, I ain’t even gonna play with that shit! If I can’t be happy, in love or getting laid then nobody can!

Jaune:

Jaune:*Looks at Neo stretched across his couch, laying there and sleeping peacefully beneath a big, comfy pink blanket with her hair mussed from sleep and looking adorable*

Jaune:*Realizes*Oh shit! I forgot I amhappy, in love and am getting laid on a regular basis! *Slaps himself in the face* Fuck. Equality for all. Forgive me, adorable love of my life, but Mama Arc didn’t raise no bitch!

*Runs at Neo, who wakes up bleary eyed and to the sight of Jaune doing a front flip towards her tiny, sleepy frame*

—————– 

Jaune:And that’s how I wound up in the hospital. I senton’d my girlfriend, Neo roundhouse kicked me in the head and then put me through the kitchen table and I’m very sorry.

Neo:*Nods grumpily*

Everyone Jaune Fucked With:Good.*Walks off because they’re still pissed*

Jaune:*Sighs* I’m going to be kissing so much ass and not all of it’s gonna be yours, Neo.

Neo:*Pokes him in a broken rib*

Jaune: Ow! I deserved that. Oh. I deserve it. *Winces*Ohhhh. I’m on the couch, aren’t I?

Neo:*Holds a finger up*

Jaune:Awww man, a month? *Neo gives him an ‘are you serious right now?’ face* Yeah alright. Stupid brain, always getting me in trouble.

——————————————————————————– 

Hey, look who wrote Snowbird into one of these despite not liking Snowbird at all.

Nora:*Explaining to the entire table* Everybody was kung fu fighting–

Ren:Actually, it was sambo.

Nora: –and those motherfuckers were fast as lightning!

Ren: By ‘motherfuckers’ she means the elderly and they were actually quite slow, even for their advanced age.

Nora:*Gives Ren a glare but continues on* It was actually kinda frightening–

Ren:*Nonchalantly eating his salad* She laughed.

Nora:*Growing irritated* –because they fought with expert timing! *Dares Ren to do it with her eyes*

Ren:Their reaction time was actually awful and one of them reacted to the pain almost twenty seconds later.

Nora:*Outraged* Alright mister, whose story is it!? *Ren raises an eyebrow* Nope, you know what, that’s it!I’ve had it with you! You’re no longer invited to my birthday! *Ren shrugs and Nora storms off, stomping and Ren goes to toss his tray*

Blake:*Blinking* I’m more curious how Ren seems to know the exact content of Nora’s dreams.

Pyrrha:*Blowing on tea* Some questions are best left unanswered.

~~4 days later~~

Nora:*Hanging off of Ren’s back, sobbing* I take it baaaa-aaaack! You’re invited to my party Ren, you’re invited!

Ren:*Walking unabated, dragging Nora along and says nothing*

Nora:*Wails*I didn’t meeeaaan ii-hii-iit!!!

Weiss:*Genuinely curious* How do you two put up with that? There’s times where even my famed patience *Ruby gives a strained smile, Yang snorts which Weiss ignores* can’t quite handle all of Ruby and Ruby’s about a solid four in comparison to Nora’s eleven.

Pyrrha:*Calmly* Meditation and exercise.

Jaune:*Shrugs* You get used to it.

Nora:*Sobbing and whining obnoxiously* Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!