#riverdaleincorrectquotes
fangs:if i run and jump at sweet pea, he’ll certainly catch me in his arms
fangs running towards him: COMING IN !!!
sweet pea: NO! IM HOLDING HOT COFFEE-
sweet pea: *drops coffee to catch him* fuck you, fangs.
black hood: *points gun at sweet pea and toni*
black hood: give me all of your money if you want to live!
sweet pea: bold of you to assume i want to live
toni: bold of you to assume i have money
fangs, getting shot: guys, now is not the time
Fangs: Hey what time is it?
Sweet Pea: I don’t know, pass me the trombone and I’ll find out.
Sweet Pea: [blasts the trombone]
Toni:Who the FUCK is playing the trombone at TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING?
Sweet Pea: It’s two A.M.
Fangs:… Figured
Fangs:What country has the most birds?
Sweet Pea: Portu-geese.
Fangs:Wait, that’s a language.
Sweet Pea:Portu-gull.
Fangs: Nice recovery. Or should I say re-dove-ry
[later]
Fangs:Turkey. How did we miss Turkey?
SweetPea:Don’t say a word
Fangs:… fergalicious
SweetPea:I said no words!
Fangs:Oh, I see how it is. Two weeks ago, playing scrabble, it wasn’t a word, but now it is. how convenient for you!
Penny & the ghoulies: *breathes in the direction of Fangs*
Me:*crackling knuckles* i think the fuck not u trick ass bitch
SweetPea:I DO WHAT I WANT
Fangs: I’m calling Toni.
SweetPea:no wait
Toni:I may only be five feet tall, but you see that thing in the top of the cabinet? I put it there.
Sweet Pea:Why??
Toni:SPITE.
Fangs:[hugs sweet pea from behind]
Fangs:[softly tucks his hair behind his ear]
Sweet Pea: [shivers]
Fangs:[whispers] Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and we’re done.
Sweet Pea: C’mon, I wasn’t that drunk
Fangs: You tried to colour my face with a highlighter because you said I was important
Sweet Pea: [tearing up] Because you are!
Sweet Pea: I’m over this dumbass school with all of these fake ass people
Jughead:Hey
Sweetpea:Hey
Sweetpea: Fuckin’ bitch
*Sweet Pea and Archie fighting behind the counter*
Fangs: “Can I get a waffle? Can I pLeAsE get a waffle??”
Fangs: Please tell me this is safe
Sweet Pea: This is safe
Fangs: Please tell me this is safe, without lying
Sweet Pea: …You’re really demanding, you know that
Jughead: Well, in times like this, I live by the words that my father always tells me.
Jughead: “Fuck off. I’m busy.”
Sweet Pea: [To Jughead] I don’t hate you. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Jughead: Do you ever do anything except whine like a little bitch?
Sweet Pea: Sometimes I whine like a big bitch
Toni: How would you describe your life?
Jughead: Basically when you try to make an omelette, but fuck it up and end up with scrambled eggs, but it’s ok.
Toni: Can you pass the sugar?
Sweet Pea: *throws Fangs across the table*
Fangs: Just be yourself. Say something nice.
Sweet Pea: Which one? I can’t do both.
Sweet Pea: Do we have all of the knifes?
Fangs:Check.
Sweet Pea:Transport?
Fangs:Check.
Sweet Pea: Did you have breakfast?
Fangs: What? That’s not on the checklist.
Sweet Pea: I added it because I care about you.
Fangs:No, I did not have breakfast.
Swear Pea: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Fangs: [pulling out a granola bar] Hey, there’s little chocolate chips in this!
Sweet Pea: Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.
Fangs: If I ever have a kid and it’s a girl I should name her lizard and call her Liz and people will be like “Oh is that short for Elizabeth?” and she’ll have to say “No, my name is Lizard.”
Jughead: You’re officially never allowed to touch a birth certificate in your whole life.
Fangs: time for the smolder
Sweet Pea: that’s not a smolder that’s a pout
Fangs: Wow, I need a drink.
Fangs: *pours apple juice into a shot glass*
