#robin x yn

damian: i hate you with every inch of my body

jason:

jason: that’s not many inches

hey!i had so much fun writing this!! usually i hate writing angst with gays because well, who wants gays to be sad? but this, i quite enjoyed! first part and it’s based off thissong! 

Robin groans as she stumbles sleepily to the front door, and a string of curses slip from her lips when she trips over a pair of shoes that she doesn’t even remember kicking off. 

She steadies herself on the wooden door and tries to blink some of the exhaustion out of her eyes but it does nothing. She hasn’t been able to sleep properly for the past two weeks, ever since when went back to you after promising herself it was the last time. 

She thinks of your lips when kissing her, she imagines it’s you lying beside her instead of the girl that’s really there. And every time she looks at her, she feels her heart sink deeper and deeper, one day it’s going to settle in her stomach and she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to fix it. 

“Robin!” She’s instantly awake when she hears your voice on the other side of the door, and your mid knock when she swings the door open, throwing quick glances down the corridor in case any of her nosy neighbours decide to see what’s going on and pulling you inside. 

You gasp, and then a smirk pulls at your lips as she pins you against the wall. 

“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and the smirk drops. You look up at her and she sighs when you can’t quite look her in the eye. You’re drunk, of course. 

She doesn’t know how she didn’t smell the alcohol straight away, cheap beer and cherry. It’s not the best combination and you’re definitely gonna regret it in the morning and the smell makes her gag a little before staring straight at you again. 

“I came to see you.” You smile and boop her nose, the flicker of self doubt seems to have passed, either that or you’ve just forgotten how angry she seemed seconds ago. And now you’re back to grinning at her, a lopsided warm smile that tugs Robin’s heart further into an abys. 

“I said, no more.” She says sternly, but the hard expression on her face flickers as she looks you up and down. Your dress is short and crinkled, but it’s the one she met you in and she has to force herself to look away. Instead she settles on your face, your makeup smudged, dark circles around your eyes from the mascara that you rubbed off in the taxi over here, well that and the crying. 

“You always say that.” You shrug and kick your heel off, gently pushing her away from you and stumbling into the kitchen. She pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath, she really can’t deal with this now. 

How is she supposed to choose between you and her, it’s simple really, she knows who she wants, or at least she thinks she does. But every time she finds herself wandering dangerously close to saying those three small words that hold so much meaning, she finds herself running back to the other one, too afraid to actually commit. 

A loud smash pulls her from her thoughts and she runs into the kitchen, her eyes wide as she see’s you standing with broken glass around your feet. You look back at her, and try to smile as innocently as you can, making her just huff before she bends down to clean the three month out of date pickles off the floor. 

You bend down to help, but she smacks your hands away and you pout before pulling yourself to sit on the counter, a bottle of wine in your hand and you watch with a warm smile as she picks up glass and pickles. 

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” You say casually and she pauses for a second, the compliment causing an unwelcome blush to spread over her cheeks. 

“I’m not angry.” She says, her voice low and you send her a pointed look, despite her back being to you. 

“You’re about to beeee.” You sing and she turns around to face you, an eyebrow raised and a bag full of glass in her hand. 

“Why?” She sighs and you watch her move around the kitchen. The bag goes in the bin, kitchen roll goes on the floor to soak up the pickle juice and you frown. 

“You don’t like pickles, why do you have a jar of them?” 

“Julia likes them.” She shrugs, trying so hard to seem casual about it, but when your eyebrows raise and you give her a look she rolls her eyes and turns around, trying to busy herself with something else. She can’t stand to see you’re judging face, it’s your worst face.

“Wow, it must be getting serious, leaving pickles at each other’s places.” You tease and she shakes her head while handing you a glass of water. 

“I don’t leave pickles at her house.” She replies and you snort a laugh. “Anyway, why am I gonna be angry?” 

“I kissed someone.” You whisper, your eyes shining and she feels her heart sink. Yep, it’s officially hit rock bottom. “And it wasn’t you.” You add and her face goes slack. 

“Good for you.” She replies, deciding that right now is the best time to do the dishes she’s been putting off for the past few days. 

She runs the tap as fast as she can, trying to drown out your drunk ramblings, but still some of them make their way through and she hears you talk about how you leaned in, how you didn’t feel anything and how it didn’t feel like you.

She bites her lip at the last part, trying to stop the sadness from spreading over her entire face. She’s not happy that her eyes a blurring with tears, so there’s no way she’s gonna frown. She hums in response, trying to act as casually as she can while washing a plate. 

“I kissed someone.” You repeat, your tone giddy and she forces herself to look at you, she really wishes she hadn’t. Because as soon as the two of you make eye contact, your expression hardens. The smile drops and your eyes become cold and distant. “Because it’s fair.” 

Robin didn’t think she could feel any worse than she already does, but with those three words, she finds a whole new level of guilt and so she drops your gaze and turns back to face the sink, a shaky breath escaping her lips as she tries to stop the tears threatening to spill. 

“Why am I even telling you? It’s not like you care. You’ve already got someone, you have done for months, this is like everyday for you. Are you hurt?” You ask and jump off the counter. 

You walk towards her, already more stable than you were when you first turned up and suddenly she feels you beside her. The warmth from your body makes her blush and her breath hitches when she feels your breath fan against her face. 

“Beg for who.” You lean in and whisper, making goosebumps erupt all across her body. There’s a few seconds of silence between the two of you, the tension building as you stay close to her, but just as Robin is about to say something she’ll probably regret, you interrupt. 

“Put me in a car, I wanna go home.” You say quietly, and Robin picks up on the quiet sobs escaping your lips as you stumble towards the front door, picking your shoes up as you go. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.” 

“It’s fine, Y/n. But please stay, it’s really late and I don’t want you to get hurt.” She tries but you brush her away, leaning against the door so you can put your shoes on. 

“No, it’s fine. I wanna go home.” You argue and open the door. She follows you outside, making sure to stay a few steps behind you so you can have some space.

She watches with a pained expression as you stumble and shiver and wipe the tears from your face, and the only thing she can think of is, how could it be anyone but you?

She helps you into a cab, and as she’s about to close the door, you cling on to her arm a desperate look in your eyes. 

“Kiss me.” You sound pathetic, you know you do and when Robin hesitates it makes you feel even worse. The taxi driver is trying her best not to seem annoyed by the waiting around, but you shrug her off and focus only on Robin. “One last time.” 

She leans in, like she’s supposed and you follow, your heartbeat increasing and hers slowing. Her lips brush yours before she kisses you properly and it’s nothing but desperate. She’s not sure what she’s desperate for, for you to stay, for you to still want her, she doesn’t know.

And when she pulls away, the taste of alcohol being the only trace of you on her lips, you sigh and slam the door closed, leaving her standing alone on the side of the road. 

It’s what you waited for, one last goodbye, but it just made you miss her more.

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