Bruce: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Y/N: Well Jason and I-

Jason: *Elbows Y/N*

Y/N: -Wouldn’t know.

Dick:Gross.

*Y/N to Bruce after he saved Y/N from the Joker that was trying to hurt Bruce*

Y/N: Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove off a bridge.

Bruce: *Slightly concerned* Can I pick?

Jonathan: it’s all about honour, blood, and integrity with you, isn’t it Eddie?

Lex: All I’m saying is that we should be concerned about leaving one man to hold that much power completely unchecked

Lex: But does anyone think about my logic? No!

Kon: Maybe because you’re a supervillain?

Lex: Shut up I’m monologuing

Superman: I’m blaming any negative traits Conner exhibits on his Luthor genes instead of the fact that he’s a teenager

Lex: I’m not certain what my type is, but so far it’s proven hazardous to my health

Lex: *looking at the Talon’s light bill*

Lex: Lana, what are you doing over there?

Jason Todd: Wait, so you’re also named Jason?

Jason Blood:Yes

Jason T: and you also have a white streak in your hair?

Jason B:Yes?

Jason T: Then there is only one explanation: you’re stealing my schtick!

Jason B: I’m older than you!

BatFamily In A Nutshell Part 22:

Dick to the rest of the family:

I keep seeing these tweets on my feed and I’m getting kind of worried I—

BatFamily In A Nutshell Part 21:

The BatFamily:

BatFamily In A Nutshell Part 20:

Tim: Mental health? Zero.

Tim: Am I okay? No.

Tim: Will I be okay tomorrow? Probably not.

Tim: Hotel? Trivago.

BatFamily In A Nutshell Part 19:

Dick: It’s always, “How fat is your ass?” but never “How is your fat ass?”

Dick: I’m tired and I hate it here

incorrectnightwing:

Jason Todd: You know what they say: go big or go home!

Bruce Wayne, sobbing: I’m begging you, Jason, for once in your life, PLEASE go home

Jason: *whispering* I’m going big

genuinely the funniest thing i’ve read allweek

Tim claps while watching tv.

Dick: what’s up?

Tim: I guessed the cause of death correctly on DR. G medical examiner

Dick:… that’s a true story show right?

Tim: yep!

Dick:… you need a girlfriend or boyfriend. Like now

President Lex Luthor: Bruce, please consider filling a post I’m creating. It may mean long hours and dangerous nights, surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society.

Bruce Wayne: You want me to be in your cabinet?

y/n: [runs worriedly into the room]

y/n: what did you d O?

damian: no one died

y/n: WHAT KIND OF AN ANSWER IS THAT??

jason: you know you’ve made it when you see your picture everywhere

(y/n):

(y/n): jason- those are fucking wanted posters

jason: i had nothing to do with it

jason:

jason: okay, so maybe it was my idea BUT i feel bad about it

damian: [pushes tim off of a building]

tim: [falling towards the ground]

jason, watching: who am i to play god?

y/n: what are all these dead bodies doing here?

Jason, cleaning his guns: honestly, not much

just going to.. leave this here.

tim: why are you smiling

jason: am i not aloud to smile?

dick: bruce fell over outside.

dick: fuck me if i’m wrong but-

y/n: you’re wrong

dick:i-

y/n:wROnG

y/n: treat spiders the way you want to be treated

tim: killed without hesitation.

jason: can you tuck me in?

bruce:

bruce: you handed me a shovel

jason: yeah, just spread the dirt as evenly as you can

bruce: i beg your pardon??

jason: then fucking beg

y/n: did you even sleep last night?

tim: i got a solid.. 8 minutes

y/n:

tim:well

tim: not consecutively, but i’m fine

tim: there’s only three of you right now

damian: i hate you with every inch of my body

jason:

jason: that’s not many inches