Sasuke: Calls every baby “it”, regardless if he knows the gender or not
Naruto: Talks through movies, loudly, and then asks you what just happened when he inevitably misses something
Sakura: Remembers dates for everything, including ones that have nothing to do with her, but are important in your life– hints at them to you but REFUSES to tell you. “I can’t you’d forget… Hinata is going to be so hurt.”
Kakashi: Will let you finish an entire speech and then say, “Wait, what?”
Naruto: Will eat the last of something and leave the empty package in the cupboard. Will also absolutely eat YOUR leftovers.
Sasuke: Will also eat your leftovers and then act like it wasn’t a big deal.
Sakura: Will be super into a health/fitness/skin care trend for like a week, and bug everyone into trying it. And then stop talking about it completely and be on to the Next Thing.
Sasuke: Will not study for a test that you broke you neck over… And get a 100 when you get a B.
Sakura: Will loudly worry over her grade before getting a perfect score then ask what you got while you try to cover your test.
Naruto: Will not pass a single test and still somehow manage to graduate with you.
Kakashi: Will be the teacher that tells you to do the homework and gives you detention if you don’t turn it in, but then doesn’t grade it.
Sasuke: If you’re at the store or something with him, he will DEFINITELY leave your ass behind if you get sidetracked and not say anything. He’ll just disappear and leave you to wander around the store looking for him. If you call him over the PA, it won’t embarrass him. He’s already in the car, contemplating driving home without you.
Naruto: Uses your towel. Sees no issue with this.
Sakura: Will rearrange your things to “help you organize” and you won’t be able to find anything.
Kakashi: Will lecture you about your diet while living off of 2.5 hours of sleep, Monster Energy drinks and like, a handful of cheez-its.
Sasuke: Will put on his headphones in the middle of you talking to him.
I still don’t know how some people believe Sarada is really Karin’s daughter. I’m just picturing the conversation here:
Sasuke: Heyy, Sakura long time no see.
Sakura: Sasuke-kun! You’re back.
Sasuke: lol yup, and funny story. I slept with Karin when I was away.
Sakura: Oh… So, you’re with Karin now?
Sasuke: Lol nah, even funnier story. I’m NOT with Karin. But, we did have a baby together.
Sakura: I… Oh.
Sasuke: Yeah, I can see you look a little disappointed. But good news, I figured you might feel that way so *opens cloak to reveal a baby* I brought it here to you. As a gift!
Sakura: You… You’re giving me your baby?
Sasuke: Yeah, sure. It’s name is Sara or Salad or something, I dunno. You can call it whatever you want.
Sakura: But, what about Karin?
Sasuke: Who cares? Do you want the baby or not?
Sakura: Uhhm, I mean, I guess thats-
Sasuke: Great! Now that that’s out of the way, can I leave my stuff here? It’s getting heavy to lug all my knickknacks around.
Sakura: Wait, leave your stuff? But–
Sasuke: Great, thanks Sakura. You’re a doll. I’ll visit in oh, the next 8 or 9 years. See ya! *Fucks off into the distance*
Sakura: *looks down at the baby* Ah, fuck it. But I’m telling everyone that we’re married.
Karin, meanwhile: *wakes up* Dude, where the fuck is my baby?
Eres mi chico imponente, el que siempre me hace suspirar, cuando me miras me doy cuenta en que me enamoro más y más, y que importa que digan que me tratas indiferente, que eres un chico indesente, que tratarte es un problema y que eres un peligro para la sociedad… Solo me interesa saber que aún así yo te amare, seré feliz con verte cada día cuando abra los ojos a tu lado, y que pueda acariciar tu piel… Solo importa saber que eres mi chico malo y malo te querré… ❣☠
