Life is constant growth. We have to be able perform, keeping your life on schedule, keep commitment and promises, meet deadlines is essential to success. Who wants a life that is controlled by someone else or even our own emotions. (more…)
When studying, most people try to find motivation thinking that this will get them through their study session, or they will see their failure as a result of a lack of motivation. But motivation isn’t always what we need - what do you do on the days you have no motivation? This is why we need self-discipline.
MOTIVATION VS SELF DISCIPLINE
Motivation - a willingness to do something. It is the set of psychological forces that compel you to take action. A goal or reward that you look forward to that will encourage you to study - while this is useful, what happens on a day when you just don’t feel like studying?
Self-Discipline - making yourself do things you know you should do when you don’t want to. Being trained to routinely study regardless of how unmotivated you are - this is what will get you out of bed on a day you don’t feel like studying.
So if motivation is ‘why we should do something’ - self-discipline is more ‘what to do next’.
HOW TO BE SELF-DISCIPLINED
Make a commitment with yourself that you will make studying as your habit. This is super important. Commit yourself to make this as your new habit. Don’t half-ass any of these suggestions or any other suggestions that other people give. Don’t give yourself silly, illegitimate excuses in the process. For this, you can do it by remind yourself on what your long-term goals in life are. Or if they don’t sound rewarding enough, remind yourself what failure feels like/ could feel like.
Set yourself a routine and stick to it
Never have a zero day - 10 minutes is better than nothing!! Do flashcards from your bed or watch youtube ted talks if you can’t physically study. This will help help develop a routine and make it easier for you to cope. Also, by studying everyday your brain will know that the content you are learning should be stored as long-term information so this will benefit you in the long run! However I do want to stress not to force yourself if you don’t have the capacity / energy for it. Take care of yourself too.
Avoid long breaks. Unless you know that taking an hour long break means only an hour, then you can ignore this. But fo the majority of us, once we’ve taken a while out of studying it can be hard to get back into it again. One minute you’re taking a 20 minute break for a snack and some phone time and the next thing you know you’re on Youtube and four hours have passed! To avoid this, try stick to shorter breaks - five or ten minutes for a snack break, toilet break and to check any phone messages. A good method to try for this is the Pomodoro Method!
Build on your productivity, not your failures.
If you come from a past of procrastinating and now feel motivated to change and discipline yourself, do NOT try to do everything at once. Start things slow and in steps.
Set yourself smaller deadlines for your goals like monthly and weekly deadlines - e.g. if you are doing a project, due 27th June, set personal deadlines, like have the introduction written by the 8th, have your literature review written by the 15th, have project complete by the 25th.
Break down the things that you must do into smaller, concrete activities and put those smaller activities in that to-do list; allocate specific time periods to do each smaller activities and put it the to-do list as well; set an alarm reminder for each smaller activities. Say you have to study for English on Tuesday, because for whatever reasons you just decided to dedicate your time this Tuesday to study English. However, I’d suggest that you break down that specific activity (or “daily goal”) before putting it in your to-do list. So, instead of just putting “study for Physics”, try putting “read and highlight Chapter 9″, because putting very general/broad activity like “study English” can actually make you too confused on where and how to start doing it, and make you very prone to distractions in the process.
Know your limits. Self-discipline isn’t doing as much as you can until you break - it’s about having control, knowing what you can realistically manage and getting that done.
Give yourself rewards! I love to have something to look forward to as I get work done! This means mixing motivation and self-discipline. I tell myself after this lecture I can have an animal crossing break or check some messages etc.
Track your progress – don’t forget to put a checklist on your to-do list after accomplishing a task. It would relieve your stress a bit and motivate you to continue doing the remaining activities on your to-do list.
Remove distractions from your study space! Personally, if my phone is out and I notice a notification…I’m gonna check it. It’s human nature! So to combat this, I use apps like Forest that force me to stay within the app while I study. If I know I might get hungry during a study session I’ll keep a little snack by my desk so I don’t have to get up and somehow find something else to distract me.
Just do it isn’t that easy. I find to get myself in a ‘work boss’ mood I need to feel good about myself so I put on a nice outfit and maybe some eyeliner and hype myself up so I know I can do my tasks and get stuff done! It feels so much better than lazing in my pyjamas trying to study.
Be patient. It’s going to be a rough journey, it’s going to be hard but you’ve got this! Take it one step at a time. Start off by completing one task a day, then move to two, then three, and the next thing you know, you’ll have a regular routine where you will constantly be ticking off your to-do list everyday! But remember to be kind to yourself, know when your body is not in the right state of health to study and don’t force it. Only force yourself to a limit, you’ll know when to stop and that’s okay. Just try again when you feel better! Your health is much more important!
● Seize time opportunities. If I have 15 minutes until your next class, I sit down and do homework in the hallway. If I have a long commute, I’ll do flashcards. This works because you most likely won’t have anything else to do anyways, so it’s easier to get your work done.
● Start something. When I get a lab report assignment, the first thing I do is pull up the directions and at least start the cover page and pull up some research links. It takes 5 minutes but it gets the ball rolling and makes it more likely that you’ll finish what you started.
● Auto-mode. When I procrastinating, it’s usually because I’m too busy thinking about what I’m going to do. Instead, I like to pretend I’m in “auto-mode” and just get started as fast as I can. auto-mode means shutting out distracting thoughts or pleas to watch one more funny cat video and forcing your hands to open your textbook. Works every time.
● Personally, creating time schedules don’t work for me because if I fall out of time, the whole schedule falls apart and I usually give up. Instead I use time games. I’ll tell myself something like “work as hard as you can until 11:00 sharp and if you finish, you can have a break”. This is great for developing self discipline because it’s in the moment so you can be more realistic and flexible.
● I don’t like writing down earlier due dates in my planner because it’s confusing so instead, it’s good to have some sort of mental rule. for example, my mental rule is to finish everything at least two days before the due date. following through with that will keep you on track.
● Do a little bit every day. If you have a big project, chip at it within a week rather than stressing out 2 days before it’s due. the same goes for studying for an exam. if you review lecture notes and attend office hours after class + work on flashcards throughout the week, then do a final review at the end, you’ll be well prepared and won’t need to cram. It’s a good habit and you won’t get stressed. Two birds with one stone.
● Use mornings too. I’m not really an early bird, but using mornings to get some work / chores done is great because it gives you a productive start to the day, which makes you feel proud of yourself for knocking out half of your tasks in the a.m.
a. Lay out your lecture notes / worksheets on the table the night before and open your work tabs on your computer so they’ll be the first thing you see when you turn on your computer.
b. Put your computer far away from your work space and go to sleep.
c. When you wake up, the first thing that you’ll see is your ‘paper’ work, so get it done first. then start on your ‘screen’ work (you’ll be less likely to get distracted if you do your ‘paper’ work first). when you open your laptop the first thing you’ll see are the work tabs you opened the night before. Your job is to go on auto-mode and get started.
Good luck with self-discipline. You’ll do great. -thoughtscholar
something is better than nothing. 5 minutes of work are better than zero. Just because you missed something on your schedule doesn’t mean you can’t still work on it, even for 5 minutes. Grow and build on this.
second drafts / reviews can be done after.
Don’t think you are going to do your very best work on the first try. Take the weight of perfectionism off your shoulders.
don’t think about doing it. justdo it as fast as you can.
build on your productivity, not your failures.
If you come from a past of procrastinating and now feel motivated to change and discipline yourself, do NOT try to do everything at once.
if you have a set of different goals to accomplish, begin with the most important one. Wait until the rotine of working for that one settles in (you feel productive and comfortable-ish), and then begin with the next. Repeat.
this way you’ll be building your way up and not juggling everything at the same time, hoping everything works out.
be patient with yourself, you’ll get there!
set smaller deadlines for your goals
have monthly and weekly-ish deadlines
e.g. if you are doing a project, due 22nd Feb, set personal deadlines, like have Introduction written by 2nd Feb, have Methods written by 10th Feb, have project complete by 18th Feb.
take them as seriously as you possibly can, don’t miss out on yourself.
write realistic daily tasks and don’t stop until you finish them. after them you can do whatever you want
on writing realistic daily tasks, the secret is knowing you can only do so much in one day, but trusting you can accomplish everything in the course of any period of time (a week, or 2 weeks or a month, etc.) because you will combine the work from all these different days.
it’s very tempting to write down all the tasks you need to accomplish in one day to just get over with it, but the real deal is you won’t accomplish half of them. You’ll feel very unproductive then, wich leads to demotivation.
spread daily tasks in the time necessary.
have a consistent sleep schedule.
if your mind isn’t ready everything will fall apart.
have one rest day per week where you plan nothing, do whatever you want except studying. this can be harder than you expect!
(don’t forget these are effective only if you actually put them into practice! good luck babes!!)
Is she worth your time to train her? Will you get more than you put in? Does she have the grit to stick with her transformation?
Your default answer should be “no” until proven otherwise. The safe assumption is that she is like most people, and people want to be comfortable. Few people will stick to a diet and exercise program to improve their looks and health. Few people will take measures to eliminate their debt. Few people will organize their lives to continuously meet their goals.
Many self-proclaimed submissives will look to you to build their discipline. she wants you to “make” her strong enough to achieve goals. However, she needs a minimal amount of self-discipline, willpower, and grit in order to even follow your directions.
As a Dom, and hopefully a good one, you know how to maintain discipline in yourself in order to help instill it in others. But do not feel bad if you realize she will never reach the level you want. Find one that will, she is out there.
