I saw this post from one of my favorite artists. It reminded me that, even as a therapist, my role is not to “fix” someone or alter their emotions. I can simply sit and offer support.
Adj: (of a person)weak and delicate Easily damaged, fragile.
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Looking at the prompt for @inktober day 8, frail, I’m reminded how I used to equate frail to introverted. It’s often seen as a negative to be less talkative or “shy”. Over the years as a therapist, I’ve learned being introverted does not equate to being frail. Introverted is (for myself) more in line with being empathetic and an attentive listener while still being able to advocate for myself and clients.
As an introvert, I get alot of individuals with louder personalities telling me how to act… I’ve always felt self conscious about not being “loud enough” but I’m starting to love my quiet self.
We’ve all dreamed about what our “perfect future” would look like, but did you realize just how much that actually tells you about yourself?
Each and every dream or goal you have for yourself can teach you a lot about your own personal values and desires. As such, it can also tell you what you truly need to focus on to get where you want to be!
Start by answering the following question: How do I want to live?
There’s no deadline of “…in five years” or anything like that. It’s just- what does your ideal life look like? In the form of bullet points, jot down any and everything you think of that you think is important to the ideal.
Then go back and answer a different question: What does my dream lifestyle say about me?
There are typically two categories of information you can glean from this exercise. The first is what you value.
At the very core, the center, of who you are, what is the absolute most important to you? For example, I noticed that a lot of my “ideals” that came to mind involved having the discipline to eat well or having more time and funds to throw into self-care and beauty routines. This tells me that I value my own health and physical appearance and it is important to me that I view myself in a positive light, even if no one else does.
For me, that is something I have struggled with for a long time, feeling confident in my own body. At some point, it became one of my fears and a weakness to me. However, what we fear about ourselves or the world around us can often tell us exactly what we value so deeply. The reason we fear certain things is because we have something to protect there, something we love and cherish, and we desperately want to prevent it from being taken from us. By focusing on those areas in our self-reflection, we can help strengthen those values and desires that are hidden there so that we can wear them more confidently.
The second category of information you can learn about from this exercise is what you desire.
While your values are your needs, your desires are your wants. Could you survive without them? Probably, but that doesn’t make them any less important to you. Your values are things that have always been a part of you, but have weakened over time and need to be given strength. A desire, on the other hand, are things that haven’t come to pass yet but are essential to your continued growth as a person. They can show you what pieces of yourself you have outgrown or the best building blocks to help you strengthen, or develop new, core values.
For example, when looking at my “ideals”, I can see that the words “confidence” and “discipline” and “self-control” pop up a lot, always in the context that they are something I lack. That’s not a negative way to write about myself, it’s simply that at my current stage in life, I have noticed this and now I am expressing the desire to change that. Due to my personal context, this tells me that I desire the confidence to speak when needed, to stay silent when it isn’t, and say precisely what needs to be said, instead of rambling anxiously and feeling uncomfortable in my own silence. If there is something about yourself that really bothers you, it’s your brain telling you that whatever is on your nerves is no longer necessary to you, that you’ve outgrown it and need something else now. In my case, I feel out-of-control in social situations and after looking at what my “ideals” actually are, can safely say that the issue is rooted in low, or a lack of, self-confidence.
Mean or broken, really it’s the same thing Intention don’t matter, in the end, you still hurt me Not absolved from your actions just ‘cause you want the consequences to go away
This is not Broadway I will not bow for your performance To you, keeping up this façade is of uttermost importance But this isn’t even worth the price of a matinee So I’ve gotta say bye to you, babe
My thoughts are chaos, especially when I am trying to put pen to paper. Writing them down allows me to organize them neatly, but the problem is now that I want to make them perfect. Perfect! Wow, will I ever be over the perfectionism bullshit? Oh wow it’s getting hot, gotta roll up my sleeves. Do I have anything left worth saying? Stop that, your words mean something you dumb fuck. Potato. Well, maybe except that one. I like the flowers on top of my notebook. I hope I don’t ruin the pages. Have I written enough? Should I write more? You’re fine! Oh shoot, it’s still hot. I guess I’ll go to bed.
I found myself waiting to be told to begin this assignment. When I heard that we should have already been starting this assignment, I immediately felt overwhelmed. I am behind. I am going to fail this entire class. You know, the usual anxious anxiety thoughts of anxiousness. I wonder what it’s like to not immediately spiral into anxiety lol. I wish I had tea, but I’m stuck in this lab since I didn’t have time to go home. This hard, stiff chair isn’t exactly the epitome of comfort. I guess I just have to do my best to make do with what I’ve got.
The abuse you experienced is not your fault, and this question is not meant to imply that you would not have been abused if you had set boundaries. Rather, when it comes to your relationships with partners, friends, family members and even strangers, what are the lines you now know are important for you to draw?
Because abuse involves violations of our rights and because trauma is so often accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness, boundary setting plays an important role in our recovery. We are allowed to set boundaries and be clear about the type of behaviour that is or is not okay in our lives. We have the right to stand up for ourselves.
What type of behaviour are you no longer willing to put up with? Please share your answer below. #ReclaimYourVoice
And I say it like that because this, honestly and truly, is a surprise to me.
I really believed that I would never in any capacity do readings of any form again. And especially I wouldn’t make them part of my career.
Life has this weird spiraling pattern and I’m just grateful that I’ve somehow come around to doing something I’ve always wanted to do.
So hey, it’d be my pleasure to use my experience as a reader to translate your aura into a one-of-a-kind portrait. These come with explanations of the colors and symbols. You can find the listing via the link above, or in my shop at www.ravenmagill.com
I came across this painting and couldn’t look away from it. Rene Magritte’s Not to Be Reproduced encourages us to look longer for a very important reason. It shows a man with his back to the viewer, standing in front of a mirror. On the ledge we see a copy of Edgar Allan Poe’s(my inspiration for Poetry) only novel The Narrative of Arthur Gordan Pimm of Nantucket. We cant help ourselves but to see a rather odd visual. Instead of man’s face being reflected as we would expect, the mirror shows the back of his head, while the book is reflected back in the mirror correctly. This obscurity strikes on the main theme of our ever changing perception. We assume what the mirror will reflect but we are denied the answer we expect. This theme becomes more prominent in today’s world where misinformation mends our perception by appealing to emotions and other storytelling measures. We take things at their face value(first impression is not the last impression for f**k sake) without ever questioning and interrogating things in the first place. The significance of Edgar’s book is that most of his work also deals with the perception of reality. Without getting too philosophical about nature of truth and falsehood, we like to think that our viewpoints about the world are backed up by the facts which we acquire through our timelines and newsfeed. Another major theme present in the painting maybe that of our own identity. The man looks with care into the mirror and wonders who he really might be. We lose our identity in this world where regulation of behaviour and pseudo interaction has become quite the norm. We are always hungry for praise, attention and worried about opposition and in this way lose much of our originality in thinking. We don’t have a secure hold on our values and judgements. This technique of hiding faces, is used by Magritte in many of his paintings like The Lovers, Son of Man and the Great War. This technique evokes confusion, unease and curiosity. Therefor i think, we should use these ordinary moments in our ordinary lives by cleaning up our conflicting inner selves.
I came across these amazing prompts the other day and I immediately thought of how helpful all of these concepts have been along my journey, getting where I am now and where I’m going, and the overall mindset I’ve been in along the way. Guys and gals, this is powerful stuff to ponder. To journal. To make goals. To reflect. To take ownership. Be accountable. To find that will power, that determination to reach your full potential. So often we find ourselves “wanting”. Wanting to lose weight, wanting to be fit, wanting that six pack, to fit into that outfit, to feel good, to have more energy… guys and gals, it starts in your head. It starts with knowing who you really are and loving that person enough to let that person shine through all the garbage we deal with in the world on a daily basis, to put your best out there with confidence knowing that you can and will still be standing with all your awareness, not letting the world take your courage and strength and unique amazing qualities away from you. Because those qualities are what will drive you. It’s different for everyone. Beyond looking good, and feeling good about the person you see on the outside. It’s about finding yourself, and loving who you are on the inside. Taking pride of that person, taking care of that person. And when you do, that positive energy will raise from you to others and spread like crazy. I strongly encourage you to look inside yourself and find that thing that gives you energy and joy and determination. And then go kick some booty and rock life. You got this. As always, I’m here to be a friend and a cheerleader whenever you need. Stay awesome!
Some self-reflections to consider as we head into 2017✨
There are no right or wrong answers. And no judgement. Just compassionate curiosity and information gathering so we can better honor ourselves, our needs, and our growth
