A/N: Ahhh!! Last chapter before season 4, enjoy the fluff!
Warning- Sweet, heart melting FLUFF!!, light swearing, LONG CHAPTER! NSFW, dirty talk SMUT (it’s just a part. Not too long so for those of you who don’t like reading that stuff don’t worry, it’s towards the end, and regardless, I’llcolor the first word from where it starts, and then ends!)
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
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*YEAR 853*
A deep breath of air unfurls from your lungs and slowly and calmly escapes past your lips. The sand beneath your feet picks up, creating a thin sand cloud that drags back with a swift shift of your foot.
The air surrounding you is thick with anticipation, over exaggerated fear and excitement. The beating of your heart is fueled with adrenaline with no hint of fear lacing through your veins. That was a dangerous thing.
Sun beams reflect off your blade, bouncing off the metal with each twirl. When the spinning stops, on one side the ocean waves are mirrored on the shiny metal, whilst the other side captures every curve of your body as you slowly lift it, stopping the moment it’s just your cocky smirk captured on the tip of the blade.
As you take a second to register your surroundings, you capture Jean with his breath held over the use of real blades, Sasha and Connie with amused grins on their features, and Armin watching through the gaps between his fingers. Until finally you take in your cousin Mikasa shifting her fighting stance before you.
“You know,” Mikasa quips with her hand gripping her metal blade. “I like how confident you’ve become in yourself.” The corner of her lips twitch. “I think you might even beat me. For the first time.”
The air at the sea now had a distinguishable smell. Whereas when you first arrived the smell was unknown and foreign. Now you came to recognize that it was the smell of salt from the blue body of water.
Each time the breeze blew, one could taste the salt in the breeze. It was welcoming, different and appealing. After returning to Trost for a short week, you were suddenly aware of the difference between the thick, polluted city smell and the light fresh smell of the sea. After returning to the camp, you also recognized that missing the city was ridiculous. Especially after how the painted night sky looked from the sand you sat on.
The sky was littered with more stars than you could ever imagine existed, their light shone brighter than that compared to the drowned out starlight that shone over the city. From the grainy sand you could see a string of thousands of stars lined down the night sky almost daily. It looked like someone had used a paintbrush and painted a singular thick stroke of milky white stars across the dark sky. Yet none of it compared to how each phase of the moon, and each twinkling star looked mirrored on the water’s surface.
The first time you witnessed the view, you were utterly breath taken by the beauty. You actually reached for the water to feel if in some possible way the stars floated down to dance on the water’s surface. But no. When your fingers met the water, the ripple disrupted the view. Regardless though, now you made it part of your nightly routine to admire the reflection from the cold sand when the stars did shine. Albeit it was easy getting entranced by the moment. Making you unaware of anything that could go on around you. Like now.
“Why did you leave the bonfire?” Jean’s voice broke the silence, his sudden presence startling you out of your stupor.
A/N- it’s a good chapter, I’m proud of it ;) let me know what you thought! Since this is also a cherry au, I’ll say this, this story will not affect Cherry whatsoever!
Warning- Swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol use, LONG CHAPTER! SLOWBURN, talks of death, ptsd and slight mentions of domestic violence
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader
(Let me know if you want to me be tagged)
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September Thirtieth. Time: eight twenty-one am. Battery percent fifty-one.
You: I’m sorry about yesterday. Things happened and I couldn’t make it, I wanted to let you know but my phone was dead all day. Can we make it up today?
Jean probably won’t answer anytime soon, or at all, but he needed to know you are genuinely sorry.
He might not believe you. You know you wouldn’t believe it, but from the bottom of your heart you were remorseful. And you truly did plan on making it to tutor him, but things did truly end up happening and you couldn’t go home until the next day.
Hopefully he understands. Even if you aren’t giving him a good reason, the true reason why you weren’t able to go like you agreed.
Since some of you asked for this scene I finally wrote the scene of Jean asking for Mikasa approval
After Chapter 22 and after the first half of chapter 23, so those who haven’t read Cherry, Beware!
“I hope….” He begins to whisper, but pauses as the emotions begin to crawl up his throat. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m the one coming now.”
Jean’s eyes flicker to the bouquets of flowers in hand and then glances at the flowers you had once put in the vases in front of Furlan and Isabel’s graves. Flowers that have been dead for a long time; the petals weren’t even connected to the stems, nor were they littered around the ground, all that was left was a stem that no one bothered to pick up.
So instead Jean picked up the stems off the vases and put them aside to replace the dead stems with new lively and beautiful bouquets from the same vendor you would go to on your way here.
“I hope you don’t mind that it will just be now.” Jean continued as he fixed the flowers so they’d look neat. “It’s—” he sighs and can’t help but let a sad smile tug on his lips. “I look ridiculous talking to a pair of graves….I don’t know how she did it and didn’t laugh….then again,” he swallows thickly and tries to keep the tears in. “It probably felt like the closest thing to getting to talk to the both of you, so I think it’s just weird for me. I’m not used to it…I’m definitely not used to talking to her grave yet….” Jean pauses again and drops his head to try to hide his sniffle from…himself since no one was around to hear him.
“….I hope you treat her nice…I know she’s missed you. I hope you know that I won’t ever stop loving her. Y/N, will always hold a special place in my heart, for as long as I live. So don’t worry.” Jean says in between a soft sob. “Just promise you’ll take care of her until I get there. She tends to be reckless sometimes.” He smiles softly and looks up at both graves before he stands up. “I’ll come visit again. I have other people to go visit, she never wanted anyone to feel left out.”
Jean wipes his tears off his cheeks, and picks up the third bouquet of flowers he had laid on the ground to place a pair of flowers on the graves of the other veteran Scouts you had grown up with. Just like when you would come visit them yourself, when he would accompany you when he could and just watch you patiently.
It felt weird having him doing the rounds all alone now. Especially because he knew you wouldn’t be waiting for him outside the cemetery gates.
No one waited for him. He walked back to the barracks alone.
He sat in the mess hall alone, on the table you’d usually like to sit on with the rest of your friends.
He ate lunch alone in the seat he’d usually take across from you.
Now, he could just ask one of his friends to accompany him for lunch, he could’ve even asked one of them to accompany him to the cemetery, but he didn’t want to bother them, and well…..he wanted to be alone even if the solitude felt painful now that you weren’t here. Now that all he had of you was memories, drawings of you he’d draw in secret sometimes, tracings of bits and pieces of you in the clothes you wore, the books and journals you cherished, the smell of you that still clung faintly in your room and his pillows. Most importantly in the engagement ring he never gave you.
Jean held onto the ring in his pocket everywhere he went, as if he was waiting for a moment to pop the important question.
You were gone now, he couldn’t give the ring to a ghost, nor did he want to leave the ring on your grave and risk having it taken by some wild animal, or some random wanderer. And truth was having the ring with him gave him comfort, just like the necklace around his neck that had your first initial hanging from it. Yeah, you never knew about the ring…unless Sasha or Connie told you….
Yet! If you did know, you’d never be able to keep it down. You’d burst from excitement…or that’s what he hoped you’d feel…
Nevertheless, you wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret that you knew, so he’s assured you didn’t know that he wanted to get engaged.
Now albeit, he regrets not having asked you. Would that have changed your fate? Because if he had asked and you said yes, maybe, just maybe that would have kept you closer, he could’ve kept you safe and helped you. So he wondered, if he had not been some coward and asked the girl he loved to marry him, would that have changed your fate.
That’s all he could do, wonder.
“Jean?” Someone called. He lifts his head off the table and sees Mikasa in front of him with a confused look on her face.
“Are you okay?” She continues to ask.
Jean nods and begins to pick up his empty plates to swing his legs over the bench and wash what he had used.
“Armin was asking for you during lunch,” Mikasa says as she follows him into the kitchen. “Where were you?”
Jean washes his plates first and then turns to answer Mikasa with a bit of dread to this conversation. “I went to the cemetery.”
“Oh.”
Jean proceeds to walk out the kitchen and Mikasa follows, not getting the hint with Jean’s dry response and his avoidance that he didn’t want to talk right now.
“How are you feeling? You missed breakfast too.” She kept trying to talk.
Yet he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by turning her away either so he let her follow him towards the dorms. “I’m doing fine,” he deadpanned, hoping she’d leave him alone after he gave her the answer she seeked.
Yet she kept following him and that only triggered Jean to stop and turn to face her to ask her a question with bluntness. “Is there something you need?”
Mikasa stops a few feet away and quickly looks away as she lifts her scarf. She stays quiet for a few seconds and just further annoys Jean. Not like he felt better when she did answer. “I just wanted to talk about…y/n.”
Jean sighs and his eyes fall to the ground. He didn’t want to talk about you right now. Not because he was tired of having to hear about you, but because it hurt having people talk about you in a past tense knowing you weren’t coming back. It hurt him too much.
He fought through the pain right now though.
“What about?” Jean queried.
Mikasa sighs and gives her answer softly. “I heard from Sasha that you…bought a ring for her.”
It was something stupid to bring up, but Jean didn’t know Mikasa just needed to get out what she had trapped in her chest; all the emotions she kept inside. She needed something happy to talk about or else she’d be too focused on her grief. And maybe what she asked about would make him happy. And well she was curious.
Jean albeit had a hard time dealing with what he felt about the question. He knew off the bat that he didn’t feel overwhelming joy having to talk about the future plans he wanted with you, but he also did feel sort of happy that he can finally speak to someone about the ring.
“I,” Jean pauses and sighs as he almost chooses that he wasn’t going to continue the conversation, but well he did want to talk about you to someone. “I did.”
Jean guided Mikasa towards the balcony at the end of the hall to continue talking there.
“Why didn’t you say it before?” She continued to ask.
Jean propped his hands on the railing and looked down at the ground as he replied. “It was supposed to be a secret. Sasha was the only one who was supposed to know, but she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Did….y/n know?” He asks as he lifts his eyes to meet Mikasa’s for a brief moment.
“No,” Mikasa assured him. “She never knew, do you really think she’d be able to hide that if she did?” Mikasa laughs softly.
Jean scoffs and an amused laugh escapes his lips. “No she wouldn’t have been able to keep that a secret.”
Mikasa smiles at her hands and Jean looks up at the clouded sky and hears what Mikasa takes a moment to bring up. “Were you planning to ask her soon?”
Jean blinks and shrugs. “I don’t know. I wanted to, but I didn’t know when. I wanted it to be special, with everything going on there was hardly time for that.”
“I don’t think you had to worry, she appreciated every moment.”
“Yeah,” Jean agrees with a smile. “I loved that about her. She was a lot more humble than I could ever be, but I guess…maybe I was a little bit of a coward. I think that’s the main reason. She would have said yes regardless of where I asked. But I still wanted it to be special for her.”
“I understand,” Mikasa mumbles before glancing at Jean and seeing him pull out a small wooden box from his pocket.
He then followed to turn his body and open the box to show her the ring inside.
It was simple to him, but it made Mikasa smile.
“It’s pretty.” She compliments it. “It’s very nice.”
“I wanted to buy her this ring that had the band shaped like a flower stem,” Jean shares. “It had small flowers that had little yellow diamonds in the center, and it had leaves around the main diamond too.” He smiles at the ring and for a second forgets about your death. “But it was too expensive. Do you think she’ll like this one? It’s very small, but I plan on buying something more expensive when I get more money.” He looks up at Mikasa and sees her deep frown, and that’s what reminds him. “I mean do you think she would’ve…nevermind.” Jean closes the box and puts it back in his pocket to turn again and look at the ground to hide his tears.
“Yeah, I think she would’ve loved it,” Mikasa answers the question he never finished asking. “I think you would’ve made her cry.”
Jean scoffs and can’t help his faint smile. He looks at her from the corner of his eyes and his smile stays as he asks his next question. “If she were still here would you have given me permission to propose to your cousin? I mean you’re like overly protective about her so would I have to snuck around and asked her, or would you have let me?”
Mikasa laughs and nods. “She loved you so if that’s what she wanted, yes. I just wanted her to be happy. But,” she says with a teasing smile. “I don’t know if Levi would have given you the same answer, or Hange.”
Jean ignores her comment and shrugs. “You said yes.”
“They really were more protective over her. Imagine if all the veteran scouts were still alive. And her father.”
Jean continues to ignore her. “You said yes.”
“Not the same.”
Jean sighs and avoids that conversation all of a sudden as it hits him again that this talk was stupid since you weren’t here anymore. So instead of talking about something else he walks back and tries to head towards his room instead. “Anyway, I’m going to finish some papers. I’ll see you later, Mikasa.”
Mikasa nods and once he’s gone she sighs and looks at the lonely balcony now that Jean was gone. She expected to be accompanied by Sasha, you, or both, but now neither of you were here to be with her. You were both gone.
A/N- I hope you guys like this chapter! Thank you for all the love in the first chapter!!
Warning- SLOWBURN, Angst, fluff, long chapter.
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader, Reiner Braun x reader
Episode- 1x04 (so this does include only minimal spoilers!)
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
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Your knock echoes inside the room once and you remain still and quiet to wait for a response. Once you don’t get one you decide to lift your fist again to knock once more, but before you could urge to be let in, the door swings open and you see Levi walking back to his desk.
“I don’t know why you insist on waiting for me to open the door. Just come in after one knock.” He complains to you while he keeps his eyes on his paperwork and sits back on his chair.
“Well,” you shrug whilst you step inside and shut the door gently behind you. “I don’t know what you could be doing in here. I’m just being respectful.”
A/N- :) Since this is also a cherry au, I’ll say this, this story will not affect Cherry whatsoever!
Warning- Swearing, angst, THERE IS A SCENE THAT HAS DOMESTIC ABUSE! Please be careful before reading! mentions of alcohol use and drug use, SLOWBURN.
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader
(Let me know if you want to me be tagged)
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“Eric,” you call from the end of the street.
Said man instantly lifts his head and right away that angry look lit furiously in his grey eyes makes your heart begin to race, it makes you slow down your pace so as to not reach him so fast, it makes you tense and go unaware if Jean had actually left.
He didn’t. He stayed in his car that was hidden under the shadow of a tree. He was watching out of curiosity since you looked so frightened all of the sudden.
“Y/N,” Eric says with a huff. “Where the hell have you been?” He walks around his car to meet you at the edge of the sidewalk. “I’ve been waiting for you for hours! It’s fucking cold out here.”
Warning- Angst, SLOWBURN, Violence, LONG CHAPTER! Heartbreak and talks of death.
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader, Reiner Braun x reader
Episodes- 1x13-1x16
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
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There’s nights, specifically the recent nights, where you have nightmares of being back underground. With Furlan and Isabel. Only them. More specifically with their dead bodies.
It’s weirdly vivid, and pitch dark. You knew that if someone were to ask you to describe the dream, you could give them every aspect of the cold and dark room, of every spot on the wooden ceiling, of every ridge on the floor boards. You could describe the humid, dirt, death, rotting stench that is uniquely tied to the underground. Even if it was supposed to be dark in the nightmare, you could describe Furlan and Isabel bodies exactly as they were splayed on the ground, with their pool of blood staining the floor surrounding them. Almost as if it was a past memory.
Their lifeless eyes were engraved to your mind, the dim picture of their wounded bodies haunted you. The cruel darkness swallowed you and the dirty corner you were curled by, trapped you in place so you were forced to keep seeing them.
When you would manage to wake from the nightmare, you would search for your candlelight, or the moonlight peeking through the window to remind yourself that you weren’t in the underground anymore. That their bodies weren’t by your feet.
Even if the nightmare felt oddly familiar though, like you had lived some aspect of that trauma in your past. But you couldn’t place it. It just played as a cruel nightmare now.
A/N: ahaha the title is lovely until we remember what happens with a certain character :( I’m not ready for that part…
Warning- Angst, SLOWBURN, Violence, LONG CHAPTER! Mentions of self-doubt.
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader, Reiner Braun x reader
Episodes- 1x05-1x12
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
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Levi was right. He was right about you not joining the Cadet Corps, not joining the Scouts. You should have stayed home and not been so stubborn.
Now you were here facing the reality of the world unprepared and scared out of your mind….
“…..The Cadet Corps will provide back-up in the middle! The Garrison Regiment’s Elite Troops will protect the rear! According to reports, the Advance team have been decimated! The Titans have broken through the outer gate! I’ll be blunt! Don’t be surprised to see the Armored Titan break through the inner wall at any moment!”
….You tried to be nonchalant, you tried to remain fearless and tried to keep up that same act that you had displayed for the past three years, but as you finally came face to face with the Titans that to this point had been nothing but pure stories, you broke.
