It was all coming to the surface, everything before and after the breakup, all of the feelings the two of you had buried, squashed down and tried to pretend didn’t still exist. The flood gates were open and good or bad the two of you needed closure.
“Don’t walk away from me!” You snap with a roll of your eyes. “You have something to say Sirius so just say it for fucks sake.” Sirius’ shoulders tense as you follow him into the kitchen, his back towards you. He picks up a glass from the bench, turning it over a couple of times in his hands before flinging it into the sink with so much force you jump, the glass shattering on impact. He braces himself on the bench, hunched over the sink, his tone short, clipped and dangerously low. You’d almost rather him yell at you.
“Say? There’s nothing to say. You fucked off y/n, you left. You packed your shit and didn’t look back,” He turns to look at you, a humourless laugh ringing in your ears, a flash of lightning illuminating the few tears on his cheeks. “You never gave me a chance to say anything…”
You shrunk back, wrapping your arms around yourself as you looked at the floor. You knew heartbreak, but this felt different. This was raw, excruciating… like someone had attached you both to a live wire and turned the voltage up to high. The two of you stood there, opposite sides of the room, breathing heavily. You felt some of your anger soften, replaced with the desire to walk over there and wipe the tears off his cheeks. You thought you were doing the right thing by leaving, you and Sirius were destroying each other day by day, bit by bit. There were things you couldn’t work through, issues that ran too deep.
Neither of you had spoken in over a week when you left. You had selfishly tricked yourself into thinking that leaving was going to be the best for both of you. A clean slate. Instead you protected yourself from getting hurt while doing the exact opposite to him. You step towards him, closing the distance while reaching out with your hand. Sirius shrinks back from your touch but doesn’t stop you from cupping his cheek, your thumb gently tracing the line of his jaw.
The scruff on his face scratches enticingly at your skin and it’s a sensation you didn’t realise you missed until now. Sirius breathes deeply and closes his eyes, lips parted, hands twitching by his side. He takes a long, slow breath, then another and another and you can see some of the tension slip away from his body.
“I’m sorry,” You whisper the words but they feel louder as they cut through the quiet.
When Sirius doesn’t say anything you go to draw your hand away, surprised when he reaches out and holds your wrist. He leans further into your touch as the tears slip silently down his cheeks, catching in the palm of your hand. Everything around you seems to pause, the walls around him coming down, the bitterness you’d held onto easing. It’s like you’re both standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the void, waiting for the other person to say ‘jump’first.
A couple of minutes pass, a few more breaths mixed together in the air and you jump. Repercussions be damned.
Pushing up on your toes you kiss him, pressing yourself against his chest. His mouth is as soft as you remember, his lips moulding against yours with little adjusting, like there hadn’t been any time at all between your last kiss and this one. Sirius doesn’t move right away, stuck frozen in shock. It takes you mumbling another sorry into his mouth to get a reaction. When he kisses you back it’s hard, full of want and regret. His hands find home on your hips, fingertips digging into the soft, supple flesh. You rake your fingers into his hair, your nails dragging over his scalp, drawing a deep groan from the back of his throat. He pushes you back until your back hits the wall behind you, his knee pressing between your legs to hold them apart. You nip playfully at his bottom lip, sucking it between your teeth before soothing away the sting with your tongue, tasting the salt from his tears. The kiss deepens as the two of you become entangled fully, hands roaming over bodies, rediscovering lost intimacy.
When you pull away Sirius moves his lips to the juncture of your neck, peppering kisses over your skin as your chest heaves. Wrapping your arms around his neck the two of you stumble and giggle until you’re back in the living room. You can see him better in here, his face not shrouded in shadow. He looks at you, candle light dancing in his bright grey eyes, your heart thumping wildly inside your chest. A light blush covers your cheeks as you glance up at his swollen lips, heat spreading through every inch of your body as you draw his lips back to yours, parting your lips so his tongue can slip inside your mouth.
He drops to the couch, keeping you in his arms, your knees digging into the cushions either side of his hips. You edge your fingers under the hem of his t-shirt, his stomach flexing as you flatten the palm of your hand and slide it over his skin. The kiss breaks as he reefs the shirt over his head, eyes dark and needy. You sit back on his lap and bite the corner of your lip, feeling that familiar stirring of arousal settle in the pit of your belly.
Sirius sits forward, his nose almost bumping yours as he toys with the edge of your shirt, your nipples hard through the fabric. You open your mouth, swallowing a moan as he pulls it up and over your head, exposing your heated skin to the cool air. You resist the urge to cover yourself back up as goosebumps erupt over your arms and back, Sirius’ eyes roaming over you hungrily. He brushes his fingers up your sides and across your ribs, stopping just below each breath. He watches your reaction as he circles a nipple with the tip of his finger, dragging it agonizingly slow over the hard little nub. You squeeze your legs around him in anticipation, feeling him harden beneath you. Dropping your hand down you run it over the front of his sweats, teasing him with feather light touches. You quiver as he flicks out his tongue, wetting his lips.
You want to draw it out, savour the breathy moans and light touches, but you need him, all of him. Now.Sirius pinches a nipple between two fingers as he drags a thumb over your lips with his other hand. You gasp and arch forward, subconsciously rolling your hips to create the friction you’re craving.
“Want you,” You simper. “Need you…Siri.”
The nickname tumbles from your lips and seems to spur him on, his lips re-attaching to your neck as he sucks a dark mark into the flesh. He hooks an arm around your waist, lifting you up enough that he can shimmy his pants down, his cock slapping thick, heavy and hard against his stomach, glistening with precum at the tip. There’s another lump in your throat as you listen to the obscene noises Sirius makes, pumping himself gently, and it makes you want to slip off his lap and suck him greedily into your mouth.
You don’t. Instead you wrap your hand around his base, taking over his movements as you enjoy the weight of him in your hand. Sirius’ head rolls back on the couch, his hands still holding you as you slide over him, smearing the precum with the pad of your thumb. “Nuhugh, stop, stop…” You slow your actions, smiling at the obvious effect it has on him. “I want - I -”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, trailing off as you readjust yourself, pulling your panties to the side - incredibly thankful you hadn’t bothered to put pants back on when you got dressed. Sirius lines himself up, keeping still as you sink down onto his length until he is fully rooted inside of you, stretching you out comfortably. He grunts deeply, dropping his head to your shoulder as you dig your nails into his upper arms, your whole body humming in pleasure. Slowly you begin to rock your hips, tangling your fingers into his hair and tugging on the curls. Neither of you are in any rush, happy to keep it slow, pouring everything you couldn’t put into words into your touches.
Sirius snaps his hips up as you move, thrusting deeper each time, his cock sliding over just the right spot each time. You feel full and content, something you hadn’t for months and it makes you realise how much you missed him, how hard it was to be away from him. His name tumbles from your lips over and over as you feel that coil deep in your belly tighten, your eyes finding his again as your legs tremble. There’s a thin sheen of sweat around his hairline, his cheeks flushed. He snakes a hand down between your bodies, his finger finding your clit, your body convulsing with pleasure as he rubs a tight circle over the bundle of nerves. You cry out, leaning forward until your forehead is pressed against Sirius’, his lips finding yours again as he picks up his pace.
It builds and it builds and it builds and -
“Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” You drag out the word in a whimper, tumbling into euphoria, your orgasm bursting white behind your eyes. Everything else fades away except for the feeling of Sirius, the sound of his moans as he gets closer to his own end. His movements slow down considerably, his hips barely moving when he grunts out something you still aren’t coherent enough to hear, his teeth scraping over your shoulder. He empties himself inside of you and the sensation brings his name back to your lips, his arms tightening around you, keeping you pressed against his chest.
You’re too blissed out for the next few moments that you miss when Sirius pulls back out of you, turning around to lay you on the couch as he stands up, tucking himself back into his pants. He gives you a soft, genuine smile and you return it, watching him walk back up the hallway. You miss his warmth immediately, shivering as you curl in on yourself. He comes back with a warm washcloth, cleaning up the mess left on your thighs. When he’s done you reach for him, tugging him back down, snuggling into him as he runs a hand up and down your spine. When he sighs you feel your stomach sink, a feeling of dread overtaking everything else. You hold your breath as you peak at him from the corner of your eyes, waiting for what you know is coming. “So I guess we should talk about what just happened.” “…Yeah,” You mumble.
You feel sick and suddenly very self conscious. You’re still lying there against him, mostly naked and now you wished you’d paid attention to where he threw your top earlier. It’s the pin you didn’t want to drop, the reality that the two of you are still very much broken up, whatever just happened doesn’t change that. Sirius has been quiet long enough now that your body feels rigid and tense while you wait for him to say that you need to go, that this was a one time thing to help you both move on, to get closure.
You don’t even know how to articulate that that’s not what you want anymore, hell it wasn’t even what you wanted to begin with, but staying here and fighting with him seemed like the worse option at the time.
You try and pull away, ready to shut down and protect yourself but Sirius senses the shift in your mood straight away, holding you against him tighter. He looks down at you, hooking his thumb under your chin when you refuse to meet his eyes, frowning at the expression on your face.
“I don’t regret it,” He says seriously. “I don’t, it’s just…” He cuts himself off with a sigh. “It was so hard when you walked out y/n, I didn’t know what to do with myself… I can’t go through that again and I don’t think you can either.” “I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” You reply, almost too afraid to know the answer. “I’m saying we gotta be in or out, all the way, no going back and changing our minds.”
This time it’s you that’s quiet, the hurt and bitterness bubbling back into your system as you mull over his words. It’s not like his wrong… you know that, but the ultimatum leaves you feeling conflicted. “We broke up for a reason Siri… those issues, they’re all still there. Nothings changed; what makes you think we can work through it this time?” “Maybe we can’t,” He replies. “Maybe we can… all I know is that I love you.” “…I love you too. I’m just not sure it’s enough anymore.”
Sirius tugs you back onto his lap, his face buried into your hair as you wrap your arms around him, wishing that you didn’t have to let go. You lay there, locked together as the storm outside eases, the thunder disappearing into the distance with the lightning. All that’s left is the rain, like the sky outside is openly weeping for the both of you.
There’s a fresh bite to the night air as you lie side by side with Sirius, the ground by the black lake damp on your back. It’s late in the night, the rest of the castle asleep behind you, the normally bustling grounds peacefully silent. You turn your head to look at Sirius, your hand brushing over his lightly. He has a far off look on his face, an almost impossible serenity about him that you’ve never seen in all the years you’d been friends.
“What are you thinking about?” You whisper, despite knowing there’s only the two of you there, it feels wrong somehow to break the silence.
Sirius smiles softly and turns to look back at you, some of his curls toppling down over his forehead. He threads his fingers through yours and squeezes gently. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it you know.” “Do what?” “Sneak out of the castle with me,” He chuckles. “You’re such a rebely/n.” You roll your eyes with a huff, your cheeks feeling warm. You’re at least glad that it’s dark out here and Sirius can’t see you blush. The truth was, you’d been crushing hard; so when he’d suggested the late night adventure you’d jumped at the chance.
“There’s more to me then what you think Black.” Sirius pushes up on his elbow, looking down at you, hovering slightly over you. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you squirm under his gaze, your belly doing a funny little flip as he leans down and brushes some hair out of your face.
“I’m looking forward to finding everything out about you y/l/n.”
Before you can question what he means his lips are touching yours lightly, barely there but enough that your heart hammers chaotically inside of your chest. Tentatively you reach up and brace your hand on his chest, parting your lips and deepening the kiss. When he pulls away you take a deep breath, missing the feeling of his lips immediately.
If this was how it was going to be, maybe you’d sneak out to look at the stars with him more often…
Tagging some other babes because It’s been so long and I don’t know anyone here anymore… wanna be friends? Or maybe you have some good potter blogs to follow? I’m so outdated in this fandom on here haha @slytherinsunrise@wand3ringr0s3@potter-imagines@theweasleysredhair
If you liked this imagine pls come let me know, I’ve been absent on this blog for a little while now but I’d like to come back to it more often. I’d really like to hear from you guys
There’s a fresh bite to the night air as you lie side by side with Sirius, the ground by the black lake damp on your back. It’s late in the night, the rest of the castle asleep behind you, the normally bustling grounds peacefully silent. You turn your head to look at Sirius, your hand brushing over his lightly. He has a far off look on his face, an almost impossible serenity about him that you’ve never seen in all the years you’d been friends.
“What are you thinking about?” You whisper, despite knowing there’s only the two of you there, it feels wrong somehow to break the silence.
Sirius smiles softly and turns to look back at you, some of his curls toppling down over his forehead. He threads his fingers through yours and squeezes gently. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it you know.” “Do what?” “Sneak out of the castle with me,” He chuckles. “You’re such a rebely/n.” You roll your eyes with a huff, your cheeks feeling warm. You’re at least glad that it’s dark out here and Sirius can’t see you blush. The truth was, you’d been crushing hard; so when he’d suggested the late night adventure you’d jumped at the chance.
“There’s more to me then what you think Black.” Sirius pushes up on his elbow, looking down at you, hovering slightly over you. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you squirm under his gaze, your belly doing a funny little flip as he leans down and brushes some hair out of your face.
“I’m looking forward to finding everything out about you y/l/n.”
Before you can question what he means his lips are touching yours lightly, barely there but enough that your heart hammers chaotically inside of your chest. Tentatively you reach up and brace your hand on his chest, parting your lips and deepening the kiss. When he pulls away you take a deep breath, missing the feeling of his lips immediately.
If this was how it was going to be, maybe you’d sneak out to look at the stars with him more often…
Tagging some other babes because It’s been so long and I don’t know anyone here anymore… wanna be friends? Or maybe you have some good potter blogs to follow? I’m so outdated in this fandom on here haha @slytherinsunrise@wand3ringr0s3@potter-imagines@theweasleysredhair
If you liked this imagine pls come let me know, I’ve been absent on this blog for a little while now but I’d like to come back to it more often. I’d really like to hear from you guys
There’s a fresh bite to the night air as you lie side by side with Sirius, the ground by the black lake damp on your back. It’s late in the night, the rest of the castle asleep behind you, the normally bustling grounds peacefully silent. You turn your head to look at Sirius, your hand brushing over his lightly. He has a far off look on his face, an almost impossible serenity about him that you’ve never seen in all the years you’d been friends.
“What are you thinking about?” You whisper, despite knowing there’s only the two of you there, it feels wrong somehow to break the silence.
Sirius smiles softly and turns to look back at you, some of his curls toppling down over his forehead. He threads his fingers through yours and squeezes gently. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it you know.” “Do what?” “Sneak out of the castle with me,” He chuckles. “You’re such a rebely/n.” You roll your eyes with a huff, your cheeks feeling warm. You’re at least glad that it’s dark out here and Sirius can’t see you blush. The truth was, you’d been crushing hard; so when he’d suggested the late night adventure you’d jumped at the chance.
“There’s more to me then what you think Black.” Sirius pushes up on his elbow, looking down at you, hovering slightly over you. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you squirm under his gaze, your belly doing a funny little flip as he leans down and brushes some hair out of your face.
“I’m looking forward to finding everything out about you y/l/n.”
Before you can question what he means his lips are touching yours lightly, barely there but enough that your heart hammers chaotically inside of your chest. Tentatively you reach up and brace your hand on his chest, parting your lips and deepening the kiss. When he pulls away you take a deep breath, missing the feeling of his lips immediately.
If this was how it was going to be, maybe you’d sneak out to look at the stars with him more often…
Tagging some other babes because It’s been so long and I don’t know anyone here anymore… wanna be friends? Or maybe you have some good potter blogs to follow? I’m so outdated in this fandom on here haha @slytherinsunrise@wand3ringr0s3@potter-imagines@theweasleysredhair
If you liked this imagine pls come let me know, I’ve been absent on this blog for a little while now but I’d like to come back to it more often. I’d really like to hear from you guys
Harry walks into the kitchen of Grimmauld place with a photo clutched in his hands, his eyebrows knit together as he moves over to where Sirius is sitting at the table. By chance Sirius had come across some of James’ things, tucked away and forgotten about in the back of a closet; he’d given them all to Harry, hoping that his godson would find something in the mix of things to help him feel closer to his father.
“Hey,” Sirius looks up as Harry starts to speak. “Who’s this in the photo with you?”
Sirius takes the photo from Harry, looking down to see a much younger, happier version of himself, arm slung around your shoulders, the both of you laughing. He remembers the day pretty clearly, remembers Remus snapping the photo of the two of you without you knowing, but he can’t remember what the two of you were laughing so hard at, it sends a sharp twinge through the pit of his belly.
The two of you had dated through the later years of Hogwarts, moving into a rundown London apartment the day after you finished school. Sirius had thought about you a lot over the years, especially when he was locked up. He thought about everything that had happened through that first war, the loss and the ugliness and how you’d always stayed a ray of light in his life, no matter how grim things were.
Sirius’ eye glaze over has he hurriedly tries to blink away the tears before Harry notices them. There’s a barely there smile on his lips as he traces his finger delicately over the photo, all the small details in your face that his memory hadn’t done justice.
“That’s y/n,” He whispers, a deep ache in his chest. “She died a long time ago.”
