This is so random but at the same time it’s actually not at all.
Would any of you read a Harry Potter fanfic? Written by me, planned by my, following the canon HP movie andbook universe? About one of the Weasley twins? Sirius Black’s daughter that’s a Malfoy? And Slytherin?
Let me explain what I have in mind. As cliché as it sounds, I need you guys to believe in me andmy abilities. I have long since wanted to write a Sirius Black daughter story. Not the usual jazz though. I want her to be a Malfoy. Raised alongside Draco, first in the row to collect her mark with You-Know-Who (does she want it?idkidkidk) and babied by my quin Cissy. She doesn’t leap into her father’s arms, she’s stoic and proud, intelligent and responsible (no crazy shananigans here nonoNO we’ve got a Malfoy kid on our hands!).
I literally have NO IDEAS only like 6 scenes I wrote throughout the last few days. Many more are to come I’m sure of it! Keep in mind that I amre-reading the books and re-watching all the movies which will be putting me in a spot this Christmas where I will be obsessed with HP!!! Free time and inspiration = fanfiction
Idek. It’s something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Hell, since I was 12 years old. Might just be the time to do it. What do you think?
I’ll be tagging those on my HP tag list for obvious reason such as WHAT DO YOU THINK? My ask is available too.
Sirius and James had shuffled behind Professor McGonagall across the castle to Dumbledore’s office. They had hung their heads low, and kept their eyes on their shoes to avoid getting a sense of what kind of trouble they were in. Based on the way McGonagall had spoken to them, and the way she had practically dragged them out of The Great Hall by their collars – they already had a pretty good idea. Professor Slughorn had assisted in getting Sirius’ victim up to the hospital wing to see Madam Pomfrey, because the boy could hardly even stand on his own two feet.
McGonagall sat Sirius and James down in Dumbledore’s office, threatening them with an even heavier punishment if they tried to escape before Dumbledore could get there. James and Sirius sat in silence while they waited. The incident replayed over and over in their minds as their adrenaline and initial fury began to fizzle out. The longer they sat and pondered, the more worried they became. The punishment that was inevitably coming was nothing compared to the guilt that they felt. The nauseating remorse was punishment enough for what they had done. No, they weren’t guilty for what they had done – rather they were guilty for the effects of what they had done.
Specifically, how it had affected you.
“Did you see the look on her face?” Sirius asked quietly to his friend that was sitting right next to him.
Sirius was beginning to feel really terrible. The stinging pain in his battered nose was nothing compared to the ache of culpability that he felt in his chest. He knew that he had messed up. He had messed up really, really bad.
“Yeah….” James replied simply. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”
James was disappointed in himself. James knew that he could be hotheaded. James knew that Sirius could be that way too. When both of them got revved up and angry at the same time, in most cases, James was usually more likely to calm down before things escalated – and most times Sirius could calm down too as long as James didn’t completely let his emotions bubble over. James had let himself get out of control, and part of him thought that he could’ve aided the situation if he had kept his composure.
“Me either. If that fucking bastard had kept his mouth shut then I wouldn’t have even….” Sirius trailed off from his original thought, because he knew that making excuses wouldn’t help his case. “This is my fault, Prongs. I knew better than to let it get to me like that. I didn’t mean to get you involved.”
James shook his head, cradling and gingerly massaging at the soreness in his knuckles. His hands were mild compared to Sirius – his hands were torn, shredded, and busted to hell.
“You’re not responsible for the way I reacted. My actions were on me,” James dismissed. “It’s times like this that remind me how much better Remus handles stuff.”
Sirius and James shared a light chuckle, a laugh that was more for breaking the tension more than anything else. Their amusement didn’t last long, because the moment that Dumbledore’s entrance was made, they were right back to cowering in their seats.
As predicted, James and Sirius were seriously scolded for what happened – although, Dumbledore’s discipline was much mellower than Professor McGonagall’s. Dumbledore had cut them some slack before, but those instances had always been much less severe. It seemed that Sirius Black and James Potter’s luck had finally run out, because they were sentenced to Friday afternoon/evening detention for the rest of the term as well as hand-written, lengthy apologies. Despite the grueling tedious and two and a half month punishment, the boys had honestly been expecting much worse. To be honest, James and Sirius were notorious for being able to get out of pre-established sentences, so they didn’t sweat it much. Besides, the punishment was the absolute last of their worries.
They left Dumbledore’s office in a hurry, hardly seeing the need to stick around for any longer than necessary. It was fairly late by the time they were finished, nearing around 9’o o'clock or so. The Great Hall was long cleared out, and mostly all of the students had returned to their House towers for the evening. There were a few stragglers here and there as the boys traversed the corridors together to get back to their dorm, but none of them were anyone they were interested in seeing.
“How’s your hand, mate?” James questioned when he noticed that Sirius was cradling his hand that had taken more damage than the other. “We can swing by Pomfrey’s if-”
“No. I can get fixed up in the morning,” Sirius denied. “I want to talk to her first.”
Sirius was determined to get this resolved before it had time to sit too long. Sirius was beginning to think that his whole “do now, ask for forgiveness later” motto might’ve been in poor taste. He needed to explain himself before you had enough time to think on it to get the wrong idea.
Sirius was taking this harder than James was. It was understandable, considering that Sirius had started it. Sirius genuinely and truly had been working on himself. Sirius had been trying to understand his emotions and his short temper better. He had been trying to practice patience and improve his communication skills. In the last few years, Sirius had learned and saw firsthand how his ego could hurt those around him. For the most part, Sirius had improved on all cylinders – but every now and then, he’d slip up far worse than anything he had ever done previously.
Sirius could only imagine you right now. Sirius had undoubtedly made a horrible day even worse. He saw you reduced to a puddle of tears and a chorus of sobs, clinging to Remus for consolation – wailing and blubbering about how much you hated Sirius for being so quick to react in unacceptable ways. That thought alone caused a hot rise in Sirius’ throat. He’d never be able to forgive himself if he was the reason that you ever came to detest him or either of the other two.
It frightened him as well, because that part of himself was something that was hard for him to control.
“Are you sure? To be honest, you really look like shit.” James asked again, continuing to walk alongside Sirius.
Sirius didn’t even have a snarky remark for that. If Sirius looked even an ounce as he felt, then he was sure that James’ statement was true. A bloodied nose and battered face and hands wasn’t a good look for Sirius – no matter how good the glory of a violent victory felt.
“I’m sure. I’ll deal with it later.” Sirius confirmed, and James didn’t ask again.
By the time they reached the dorm, anxiety had done its job of making them both a spiral of nerves. James felt like he was going to be sick, because he truthfully didn’t have even an inkling of what he was going to say. What could either of them say? They had shown a less than pleasant performance, and had gone against your wishes in a way that was far worse than anything you could’ve imagined. They had messed up, and they knew it.
Sirius and James were slow as they entered, peeking their heads around the door rather than entering fully. Sirius’ mental image wasn’t met when they caught the first glance of the inside of their dorm. You weren’t wrapped around Remus in a desperate manner. There were no sounds of crying or obvious upset. The only inhabitant of the room was Remus, who was standing at the circular mirror on the wall. He examined his face, peering at his right cheek that had been struck from a stray punch during the scuffle. Compared to Sirius, it was nothing more than a scratch.
“Where is she?” James asked, not wasting any time getting to the point.
Remus sighed, shaking his head and turning from the wall to look at them.
“I don’t know.” Remus admitted.
Sirius’ stomach sank to his feet and bounced back up into his throat. If you weren’t here, then there was no telling where you had run off to.
“You don’t know?” Sirius questioned. “How do you not know where she is?”
“Well after you two decided to beat that guy to a pulp, I was pulled aside for questioning on your behalves….since McGonagall had you two tied up with Dumbledore, I had to do all the explanations everywhere else,” Remus revealed. “She was gone before I could go after her.”
“Do you have any idea where she is?” Sirius asked next in hopes of Remus maybe having an idea of where you could’ve gone.
“She’s probably with Lily and Marlene. They went looking for her when I got caught up.” Remus answered, his arms crossing over his chest.
James piped up this time. His jitters were so strong that he couldn’t even stand still.
“They’re probably in their dormitory.” James announced, looking at Sirius as if to communicate with him that they needed to go.
Remus caught the look, and stopped them before either of them could even take a step.
“I wouldn’t do that. She’s upset enough as it is. It might be best to let this sit until morning.” Remus advised, and Sirius disagreed.
“Remus, we can’t wait that long.” Sirius argued, his voice weighty and determined.
“Might I remind you that she is not happy with either of you right now,” Remus fired back. “Let it go for tonight. We’ll settle it in the morning.”
Remus had a point, but they really wished that he had been wrong for once. If nothing else, it would give them a little more time to think about what they were going to say.
“It’ll be fine, mate. Just give her some time,” Remus approached them, clapping his hands on each of their shoulders. “Come on. Go get yourselves cleaned up.”
James managed to get washed up much more quickly than Sirius. That wasn’t surprising, considering that Sirius had taken a worse beating than James had. James chatted and talked about anything that he could to anyone that was listening. James talked when he was nervous – the running of his mouth distracted him. James was cleaned and fixed up in about ten minutes, and he looked significantly better. While he looked better, he surely didn’t feel any better. He crawled into his bed once he was washed up, preparing for a sleepless night and several hours of tossing and turning. James could never sleep when he had an anxious mind, and it happened more often than most people would’ve thought.
Remus had gone to bed shortly after James, leaving Sirius to his lonesome to tend to his injuries. Sirius stood at the sink in the washroom, looking at himself in the mirror as he carefully wiped at the dried blood under his nose and around his mouth. As the blood remoistened, it dripped down his chin and soaked into the rag that he was using to get clean. He rinsed the rag out into the sink, watching the pink-stained water flood down the drain in almost an instant. His knuckles hurt the most, and his eyes involuntarily filled with tears when he cleaned them under the stream of water. He winced a few times at the tender, stinging flesh on his upper lip that was painfully sensitive when he touched it. It probably needed stitches, but Sirius didn’t feel much like getting it taken care of.
He couldn’t get you out of his head. Every passing thought was related to you. Your quiet plea to leave the situation alone replayed over and over in his head, like a record needle stuck on the same groove. He couldn’t get the image of your tearful eyes, the same ones that were usually so full of adoration and love, looking at him with horror and disappointment. That was the hardest part of this whole thing for him. He could get over you being mad or you being annoyed with him – those were things that he could come to terms with. But the thought of you being disappointed in him, the mere idea of you having any kind of displeasure for him absolutely killed him. He only had himself to blame for that, and blaming himself is exactly what he was doing.
He glared at his reflection that stared back at him. His swollen eye and busted lip were prevalent, and they were a sight to see. The throbbing in his eye and the heat coming off of it practically unnoticeable compared to the anger that he felt in his heart for himself. He found himself lost in his own eyes, drowning in the pools of gray that he was picking apart every aspect of.
Sirius had messed up so many times, and each time felt worse than the last. He wanted to be a good person. He wanted to be the best man that he could be for you, the boys, and himself – but it seemed that the more time that went by, the more that Sirius realized that he’d never be the man that he wanted to be. Sirius would admit that he regretted more of himself than he praised.
It was moments like this that reminded Sirius Black of the hate that he harbored for himself. Sirius was critical of himself. He could easily write himself off and present himself as a “go with the flow” or a “it is what it is” kind of guy. For the most part, that was what he did. He had painted this picture of himself and constructed this facade for others to view him as confident and sure with everything. That was one of the endless things that he admired about you – you had always been able to see straight through his false image.
He didn’t see anything good when he looked deeper into himself. He saw a hateful, spiteful, and dishonorable man that wasn’t worth the time of day and that didn’t deserve the warm drink of your love that you overfilled his cup with over and over again. Sirius knew that he didn’t show it enough, and he knew damn well that he didn’t say it enough – you meant absolutely everything to him. Sirius couldn’t put it into words, and oftentimes he had a hard time revealing it in his actions. Sirius couldn’t understand how he could love someone so much when his heart was so full of resentment. And the part that he really didn’t understand was how someone with such a pure, loving heart such as you could even spare someone like him a passing glance. You shouldn’t have given him anything. Sirius found guilt within himself that you loved someone like him. You deserved someone better – someone who wasn’t like him.
You were every flower in a summer field on a hot July day. You were the peaceful rainbow after every raging rainstorm. You were the calculated answer to all of his burning questions. In a black night sky full of glittering, dancing stars – you were every single one. After all of Sirius’ wrongs that seemed to outweigh the rights, he hoped and he prayed that he would be even a single being in your universe.
****
As predicted, neither James nor Sirius slept any real amount. They rolled and shifted in their beds all night trying to get comfortable enough to get some sleep – but they couldn’t find a position that slowed their racing minds. For a Saturday morning, they were up and going much earlier than usual. Sirius’ head perked up from his pillow when he heard James’ feet hit the floor, his good eye squinting to peer at him in the morning light. James noticed his stare, and grimaced at how Sirius’ appearance had changed overnight. His eye had swelled and turned a gnarly shade of black and blue, and his lip was red and irritated.
“Did you sleep?” James asked, his voice groggy with exhaustion.
“No.” Sirius replied as he watched James sluggishly pull a t-shirt over his shirtless frame.
“Me either,” James remarked. “Where’s Moony?”
Sirius’ sat up on his elbows to look over at Remus’ bed, and he was surprised to see that the bed was neatly made and arranged as it always was whenever he was out for the day. His Gryffindor robes were draped over his trunk that was stationed at the end of the bed, which was an indicator that he’d be back soon.
“He probably went to get breakfast,” Sirius guessed, groaning at the screaming soreness in his muscles when he sat up completely. “I hurt so bad.”
“I don’t doubt it.” James came to the side of Sirius’ bed, offering a hand to get him on his feet.
Truthfully, Sirius didn’t hurt as badly once he was up and moving around. He slowly dressed himself and was careful not to accidentally aggravate his hand or his face. He felt like he had been hit by a train, and he was sure that he didn’t look much better. James and Sirius dragged themselves silently around as they got ready, not bothering to look overly presentable for a regular Saturday. Their movements were laggy and tortuous as they maneuvered around, because they both hurt something awful. James was positioned on the end of his bed, his left foot cautiously propped on his right thigh as he tied the laces on his shoes. His mind hadn’t stopped reeling for well over twelve hours now, and the longer it went unresolved, the worse that it got.
“Hey, Pads?” James called, only continuing once he had Sirius’ attention. “Do you think she’ll forgive us?”
Sirius didn’t have a chance to answer, and he was thankful that he didn’t have to. The door to their dormitory opened, and Remus entered with smuggled food balanced in his hands. He had wrapped up some easy breakfast to-go items for the other two, because he figured that they didn’t feel up to sitting down for a meal.
“Hey, Moony.” Sirius greeted casually.
“Hey. I brought you two some breakfast,” He announced, splitting the pile evenly between the two of them. “I figured you were hungry.”
They were starving, considering their dinner was cut short the night before. James needed some nutritional energy to hopefully settle his nerves, his fingers working diligently to peel the skin off of the banana in his hand. As hungry as Sirius was, he was positive that he wouldn’t be able to hold anything down long enough to sustain him with any real nourishment. Sirius’ was visibly troubled as he looked at Remus with a look of expectation. Sirius had waited, and he had waited long enough.
“I talked to Lily,” Remus began. “She said that everything is fine.”
James spoke through bites of banana, his voice muffled as he made an attempt to talk.
“How is she?” James asked, referring to your current state.
“Lils said she’s on and off….and still not happy with any of us,” Remus recalled the information that Lily had shared with him. “But more so with you two.”
“What is she mad at you for?” Sirius’ question fell from his mouth before he had any real time to think about the answer.
“I think she’s upset with all of us for getting involved one way or another,” Remus remarked, and it hurt his heart just as much as the other two to know you were dissatisfied with him. “Once you two finish eating we can go.”
James suddenly finished the last of his curved fruit in one big bite, forgetting about the rest of his wrapped goodies until later.
“Let’s go now.” He gargled through chewing, tying his other shoe quickly and rising to his feet.
Sirius wanted to get this over with. Not because he was dreading it or wanted to get it resolved the easiest, quickest way – but because he wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle the guilt. It was miserably slow as it ate away at him, and he needed to get his sincere apology heard. The boys regrouped with one another and left their dorm, preparing for whatever kind of reaction they were going to get from you. They were quiet as they walked down the boys’ staircase and up the girls’.. There really wasn’t much that could be said, because at this point it had all pretty much been said. Sirius let out a shuddering exhale when your door came into view as they turned a corner. Remus heard his noise of stress, and took a moment to reassure both him and James.
“Take it easy, mate,” Remus smiled at his two best pals. “It’ll all be fine.”
They sure hoped that Remus was right, because if it wasn’t going to be fine – then they had no idea what they were going to do.
Remus took the lead on this. His light knocks on the large wooden door were dulcet in an attempt to avoid making too much noise. It was still fairly early, and most of the inhabitants of the Gryffindor tower were still sleeping. The last thing Remus wanted was to wake anybody up and cause another kind of stir.
James and Sirius shifted on their feet from where they stood behind Sirius. Their fidgeting from the heightened anxiety wasn’t even worth hiding, and hiding it honestly made it worse. Sirius’ heart skipped a couple of beats when the knob turned to open the door from the inside. Lily was the one who appeared in the now open doorway, her emerald eyes looking at the three of them standing together. Lily didn’t bother with a greeting, because none of them were there to see her.
“She’s in bed. She won’t get up,” Lily stated, keeping her voice hushed. “Just….try not to upset her any more.”
Lily was tired. She and Marlene had been up most of the night trying to console you the best that they could. With a little time and patience, they had managed to get you calmed down enough to get some sleep. They weren’t sure how restful it was, but at least it gave you some kind of break.
Remus nodded at her request, taking glacial steps inside when Lily stepped aside to allow them in. Marlene was gone for the morning, and Lily was going to follow suit once you were aware that they were there for you. You were curled up on your mattress, half underneath the sheets with your back towards the door. Lily moved to the side of the bed that you were facing, signaling for the boys to wait for a few moments.
“Hey….” Lily tilted her head as she looked down at you. “The boys are here.”
Lily had honestly expected you to start crying again when your eyes flickered up to hers. They were glassed over with remnants of tears, but the tears didn’t fall.
“They want to talk to you. Will you speak with them?” Lily questioned in her lightest, sweetest tone. Lily glanced up for a moment at Sirius, who was so pale that he looked ghostly. “I think Sirius could use a hug.”
James felt his halfway breakfast churning in his stomach. Now he had wished that he had decided to brave this on an empty stomach. When you sat up from your balled up position, they straightened up and stood a bit taller to look more confident in their presence. Lily smiled at you, and told you that she was going to be heading out for a little while. Once Lily was gone, it was just the four of you in the quiet room. They were frozen still until you looked over first.
Your gaze landed on Sirius first, and you couldn’t help the look of shock and alarm on your expression at his tyrannized face and abused hands. You hadn’t expected him to look so bruised and roughed up.
“Hey there, bunny.” Remus said first, approaching you cautiously.
He sat on the free space on the side of the bed, and Sirius and James didn’t know what to do other than to copy Remus’ motions.
“Hi, puppy.” Sirius greeted as neutrally as he could.
He was nervous, and it was a visible tell.
“Hey, angel.” James offered a small smile.
James was even more nervous, the slight shake in his hands giving it away.
“Hi.” You squeaked, and all three of them immediately felt the tiniest bit of relief.
This felt more standard. The three of them huddled around you in whatever open space they could get comfortable in on the small Hogwarts’ beds. The context of the conversation wasn’t ideal, but at least the familiarity of the positioning offered some delay in the tense atmosphere. The beats of silence that passed weren’t awkward, but rather hesitant. Everything that James and Sirius had come up with to say had vanished into the abyss of their subconscious. They were flying blind now, and whatever they were going to say was going to be whatever they could come up with.
“You look tired.” You spoke feebly, looking at James with the intentions of your words.
James was the most tired of all three of the boys. You weren’t wrong that it showed on his face, and he hoped that this would be settled well enough so that he could sleep the rest of the day.
“Oh, I’m a little tired,” James replied. “Just worried about you.”
The edge of the sheet over your lap was in your hands as you fiddled with it. The fact that all three of them were nervous on different levels made you nervous. Sirius was sitting at the foot of the bed, dragging his fingertips back and forth across the soft material of your blanket. He was doing it as a sensory distraction, and he hoped that it would relax him enough so that he could actually come up with something to say.
“We’ve all been worried about you,” Remus added. “You were very upset last night.”
There was a beat. A silence. And then a response.
“I asked you not to say anything.” You mumbled, toying with the sheet as you avoided any and all eye contact.
None of them knew who exactly you were referring to, but the burning ditch that opened up in Sirius’ gut gave him a pretty good idea. Despite his initial aggravation, Remus knew that neither Sirius nor James had acted the way that they had with the intent of disquieting you. He knew his friends inside and out, and he knew how they felt about you. No price was too big for the sake of defending you. Remus was pretty sure that you knew that as well, but he also understood where you found discomfort with the fact that they had acted that way after you had asked them not to.
“They were saying bad things about you, lovely. We couldn’t just let them say that.” James continued as charily as he possibly could.
He wasn’t trying to argue. He just wanted to explain the situation as coherently as he could.
“I deserved it,” You replied back. “I was stupid during Potions yesterday.”
“You weren’t stupid, and that doesn’t excuse what he said, princess. Never, ever should anyone talk about you like that.” Remus backed James up.
Sirius was silent. There weren’t any words coming to or from his brain. He was so embarrassed and ashamed of himself that he didn’t even know how to articulate anything. All he could do was listen and watch the best that his frazzled mind possibly could. He was so indignant with himself and so dispirited that he didn’t blame you for not accepting his apology.
“You didn’t have to be so….violent.” You muttered, and now the shared spotlight was shining on James and Sirius.
Neither of them really had much of a good explanation for why that was their best resolution to the problem. They could go on about how they could be hot headed and short-tempered….but that wasn’t one of those arguments that would hold up very well. Sirius felt a fiery balloon swelling in his throat – when that balloon popped, the waterworks were going to come with it.
James was handling this much better than Sirius and Remus had expected. He was still very obviously nervous, but he was doing a nice job of communicating his thoughts and feelings.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, my love….well, I was but it wasn’t for a reason that I didn’t find important to me,” James vindicated. “I care about you and I love you. At the time, that was how I wanted to handle it.”
You didn’t like that answer. The shake of your head and the abrupt sob that escaped your chest let James know that was not a response that you wanted to hear, even if it was the truth. The tears leaked from your eyes and spilled down your cheeks like raindrops racing on a clear glass window.
“But I don’t want you to handle things like that!” You wailed. “I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me and I don’t want you to hurt anyone!”
James felt a pang of remorse for setting you off again, but if it meant getting his point and apology across – then he supposed it was best. Remus noticed something odd in this quick couple of passing seconds. Your tears were notably genuine and you were clearly distressed….but your tears and your reaction seemed to be more of a panic response than anything else.
“Take a breath, bunny. He’s not trying to upset you,” Remus mediated, moving to sit behind you so you could cuddle up against him. Remus rocked you in response to your choked up cries. “What about this has you shaken up so badly?”
“It-It’s just….I didn’t-” You hiccuped. “Sirius was just so mean.”
The balloon in Sirius’ throat exploded at those words. The tears pooled in his eyes and it took everything he had to hold them back. Remus and James felt sympathetic for Sirius, because they knew that what you had said didn’t help how hard he was undoubtedly being on himself. Sirius’ lips parted as if he was going to say something, but the words still didn’t come. Sirius’ lower lip wobbled as he strained to keep the flooding tears from making their escape. There probably wasn’t anything that he could say to make you think of him the same way again.
“I think you’re being a little unfair to Pads, bunny.” Remus admitted.
“He feels really, really bad about all of this.” James piped up.
Remus used his sleeve to wipe away your tears, hoping it would help compose yourself better.
“I was so scared that he was going to get hurt and then it’d be my fault,” You blubbered on. “I didn’t want Siri to get hurt.”
Even after all of this, Sirius’ wellbeing had been the root of most of your concern. Sirius felt like such a jerk. He had done just about everything you had asked him not to do and you still were more worried about him. This was one of those things that Sirius knew to be true about how you felt about him.
Remus cast Sirius a glance, and it stung his heart to see one of his best pals nearly reduced to tears. Sirius didn’t get worked up in this kind of way often – and it took a lot to get him so rattled.
“Siri isn’t badly hurt, darling. And Siri and Jamesie both love you very much,” Remus professed you. “I know that it wasn’t the best decision, but it only happened because we all love you.”
“We love you so very much. It won’t happen again.” James assured you.
Sirius needed to speak. He used whatever brain power he had left to come up with something. A phrase, a word, a noise, absolutely anything that he could. He didn’t care what he came up with, just as long as he didn’t let this moment get away without him asking for forgiveness. If he had to fall to his knees and bawl into your lap and gasp for air between every snivel to show his remorse then so be it.
But that didn’t happen. His shoulder began to quake with the vibrating weep that was so close to expelling from his chest. It wasn’t until your eyes met his, the same dazzling ones that he found so much faith and comfort in, that he let it all go.
“I’m sorry.” Sirius cracked, and he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.
It felt like such a sore apology. After all he had done and said to lead up to this point, “I’m sorry” just didn’t seem that it was even nearly enough. There were millions of more things that he could’ve and probably should’ve said – but that two word infamous phrase was all he could murmur. But as always, you could see Sirius for who he really was. Now was not an exception to the way that you could flawlessly read Sirius without error or misunderstanding. Despite the simplicity of his words, you felt the weight behind them. You heard the sorrow and the contrition in his voice as he said it. You saw the pleading and the silent beg for forgiveness behind his pupils. Maybe on the surface it wasn’t much, and perhaps to anybody else it would’ve been a shitty apology.
But to you, it was a sincere, love wrapped Sirius Black apology.
You sniffed when you crawled away from Remus, maneuvering the short distance between you. Sirius was stunned at first when you wrapped your limbs around him desperately, but he returned it with grace and another sob of contentedness. Sirius buried his nose into your hair, not caring that it irritated and hurt the tender area. That hug was the best embrace that he had ever been given. It spoke so loud and had so many volumes.
Remus and James shared an alleviating glance. The amnesty was a relief, and while there was some work to be done to get fully back to normal – it was a work that was unquestioned because of its rewarding nature.
“I love you. So so so much.” Sirius cradled your face in his slender, torn hands.
“I love you, Siri.” You replied, turning somewhat to address the other two. “Remy and Jamesie too.”
With that, the four of you fell into a big cuddle pile as the three of them peppered you with kisses and showered you with affection. There was a peaceful, serene vibe in the air – one that was much more welcomed than the tense one from before. Again, there was some progress to be made and some more conversations to be had, but for now the biggest hurdle had been cleared with ease. It was a straight sprint the rest of the way, and with no obstacles in sight – the end goal seemed like a breeze.
This was a major development moment for the four of you. None of you were perfect, and sometimes it took the hard way to learn from each other’s mistakes. This was not a mistake that Sirius or James would make again, and that was a solid fact.
Sirius and James had a basket of things to learn from this experience. It was a lesson learned and it motivated them to be much more cool and calm if something like this ever happened again. Once again, Sirius had been forgiven and given yet another chance.
Was it a chance that he deserved? He didn’t think so. However, it was one that he was grateful for nonetheless.
Title: Absurd ideas Pairing:Sirius Black x Female!Reader and Remus Lupin x Own Character Word count: 4.7k Published: 12 January 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: Not my best work, but I hope some of you will enjoy it. Summary: Sirius’ jealousy causes a misunderstanding which inevitably ends up with him getting worked up and everyone else being confused. Most of all you, when you realise he thinks he knows what you feel, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth. Bingo:[x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Cardby@girl-next-door-writes
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You were seated in a room, rubbing your tired eyes on a bed that didn’t even belong to you. It wasn’t just any room with any bed though. You were in the male dormitory of the Gryffindor House of Hogwarts, seated in the marauder’s bedroom, specifically on Sirius Black’s bed. Just like on every full moon, you waited for the boys impatiently, to make sure that they were in one piece as they arrived back from their wild adventures.
It was about 5am when the sun started to rise. You barely slept an hour or two, waking up almost every half an hour, concern and worry taking over you with a pinch of insomnia that you were used to on a daily basis. The boys should have been back already, but they took their sweet time, making you even more anxious, than you dared to admit. You took deep breaths to calm yourself down, just as the door opened with a loud thud hitting the wall behind it.
Looking at the entrance, you saw James first, holding up a barely conscious Remus, whose arm hung off his friend’s shoulder, before you saw Sirius on his other side, helping James carrying the boy. You ran up to them and hurried them over to Remus’ bed, wanting to check on the boy as soon as you could. They placed him on his bed as gently as they could and stood back, giving you just enough space. They stood silently with hunched backs, visible dark circles under their eyes and tired expressions across their face as they watched you.
summary: when Sirius astragalus to turn from a dog to human he finds himself drawn to you
a/n: yay! im writing! sorry for the delay i was on vacation the past week so here’s this
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You have always loved animals. Since you were young your favorite place had been the zoo. You would sit in front of the glass and stare for hours at a tiger napping in the shade or a monkey swinging from branch to branch. When you were 11 and was shown an entire world of magical creatures to discover and investigate you had practically burst. Before your first year at Hogwarts you had read Newt Scramanders book of Magical Creatures and Where to Find Them from cover to cover 5 times over.
Despite the fact that there were millions of creatures which you could choose from, each with more interesting and fascinating abilities than the last, you had chosen a very simple favorite.
You had spent the months before your sixth birthday begging for a puppy. Your parents’ hearts could only take so much of your wide desperate eyes before they gave in. Your efforts had been rewarded by a large box, unwrapped with a bright red bow on top.
Inside rested a small mutt, her long fur a dark grey splotched with dusty brown. Her huge golden eyes inspired the name Sunshine although you had taken to calling her Sunny instead.
Each year when you left for school despite the excitement of a new year your heart would ache with the sorrow of leaving Sunny behind. Not once had you been able to leave your house without large tears sliding down your cheeks and soaking into her fur as you sobbed out goodbyes.
Your mother always jokes you missed your dog more than her while you were away and you always responded saying you did. Maybe it was the blaring innocence of the animal or its fierce loyalty or maybe it was just because she was your one and only pet but dogs would always remain your favorite.
“Merlin Padfoot, you’re like her dog.” Remus said with a roll of his eyes as Sirius sped past him to snatch your books from your arms.
You groaned a complaint explaining how you were perfectly capable of carrying a couple books but the blush of your cheeks only egged him to swing your bag off your shoulder as well.
You crossed your arms and glared at him, lacking any malice you had intended to fake.
Sirius took the way you were leaning just a bit closer to him as a victory and only grinned wider.
James grimaced, “This is hard to watch."
Remus bit back a laugh, "You’re one to talk."
"Oh come on, there is no way I’m that bad."
"Please Prongs, you’re far worse."
James stopped where he stood and gasped. Remus, who was picking up speed to catch up with Sirius, left him behind with a grin.
"Take that back!” James shouted, jogging down the hallway.
By the time the four of you reached the hall for lunch James and Remus were in a heated argument you chose to ignore. Despite your disinterest it was clear Remus was winning as he always seemed to be.
You took a seat next to Alice, your other side quickly occupied by Sirius who threw his arm around your shoulders, an arm you quickly swept away. After trying twice more he gave up, pouting as he snatched a roll and some chicken from the plates in front of him.
“Did you ever finish that Defense against the Dark Arts essay?” You asked Remus who now sat in front of you, James and Peter on either side.
“Yeah, I finished it last night.” He responded ignoring Peter who had snatched some chocolate from his bag.
“Awesome, I’ve been struggling to find similarities between the bat-boggie hex and the Avis charm. Do you mind helping after dinner tonight?"
"Not at all.” He hummed.
Sirius watched the exchange with mild jealousy, “You wouldn’t mind if I joined, would you Moons?"
"I would.” You started sharply before Remus could respond.
Sirius’s face crumpled, “What? Why?"
"You always end up being a distraction and no one ever gets anything done.” You explained coolly.
“Are you saying I’m distracting?” Sirius smirked, perked by your words.
“Yes.” you said only realizing your mistake after you spoke. You went red, “But not in the way you think Black."
Sirius whined, "I know you think I’m cute even if you won’t admit it."
"I think no such thing.” You spat turning away to hide your burning cheeks.
“Leave her alone, Sirius” Alice called, “Not everyone thinks you’re as great as you do."
James snickered as Sirius launched into a line of dramatic complaints.
You were far too used to Sirius’s remarks, they had become a common occurrence in the year before and even after a summer to prepare they still made your heart race in your chest. He was right after all, he was awfully cute.
You knew he was just messing with you so you ignored his joking advancements and taunting flirts. You wish he could see how cruel he was being but knew he never meant it in such a way. Sirius was just a flirt whether he meant to tease your heart or not. And you had learned to live with that.
You left dinner that night confused, pockets stuffed with food for James and Sirius who had been strangely missing from dinner. There was no reasonable explanation given by a nervous Remus who hastily canceled on you because of "some things that came up."
You had decided to try and push it from your mind, not wanting to stick your nose into someone else’s business.
As you neared the common room you perked up, catching the sound of a short bark. You blinked twice, sure you were imagining it but turning the next corner proved you wrong.
A young dog stood outside the common room. It turned at the sound of your footsteps, head cocked to the side in interest. Then as if to realise something its eyes widened and he broke into a clumsy run towards you.
You cooed, dropping to your knees and setting your books aside to stretch your arms to the puppy. He lept into your lap and immediately began to lick at your cheeks which were plump with a smile. "Hey buddy.” You laughed scratching his neck.
In his excitement he began to circle you in small leaps and bounds. You took the opportunity to observe him, his fur was a rich black uninterrupted by a blemish of another color. His ears were pointed, teeth sharp and brilliantly white. He looked well groomed around 6 or 7 months old. The possibility of him being a stray was low, yet he wore no collar.
You then realized the ruckus he had been making and immediately shushed him. Much to your surprise the dog fell silent standing alert in front of you, its tail wagging furiously.
“Ok sweetie,” You said to him, “I’m gonna bring you inside so we don’t get caught yeah?"
You could have sworn he nodded.
You recollected your things and began to walk once again surprised as he stuck to your heel obediently following you inside the common room.
In all your excitement you didn’t notice Remus until you ran directly into him.
“Oh hey Remus.” You smiled, backing up slightly and nearly tripping over your new friend.
“Hi,” He spoke quickly, glancing around nervously. “Weird question, you didn’t happen to see a dog around did you?"
"He’s yours?!” You gasped, turning to reveal the dog who had been hiding behind your legs.
“Oh thank god.” Remus muttered under his breath, “No he’s not really mine I’ve just been watching him for a, uh, friend.” He explained scratching the back of his neck.
“Oh he’s such a sweetheart,” you cooed, dropping to scratch his head, “Aren’t you buddy, aren’t you?"
While you were distracted you missed the glare exchanged between the two, "He sure is.” Remus growled, “But he doesn’t seem to like me very much, now does he."
"Well if he’s causing you trouble I’m sure I could watch him for the night.” you said, leaping back to your feet hoping you had hid your overwhelming excitement.
Immediately Remus paled, “Oh no no, that probably wouldn’t be a good idea."
Your face fell, "Oh, why not? I swear I’d take good care of him Remus, I’m very good with dogs, I’ll make sure no one finds out."
"It’s not you.” He quickly explained, “It’s just that he’s a real pain and I don’t want him to bother you."
"He’s been nothing but sweet around me, maybe he likes me."
"Y/n, this really isn’t a good idea.” Remus warned desperately but you were determined.
“Please, Remus? Look how much he likes me.” You said gesturing to the dog who was now nuzzling into your side.
He sighed, “I’m sorry y/n I just don’t think that my friend would be comfortable with it."
"Alright.” you mumbled, pouting.
Remus tried not to feel bad about the frown on your face as he called to Sirius, “Come on,” he coaxed beginning up the stairs. “Let’s go."
He was given no response as Padfoot simply shuffled closer to you.
Remus glared, unable to fathom how stupid he was being, maybe turning into a dog had erased his few remaining brain cells.
"Come. Now.” Remus’s voice was shaking lightly with rage, the deer upstairs was already causing enough stress this was just headache inducing.
“Oh Remus, please let me take him.” You begged, sweeping the dog into your arms. Although he was not full grown he was getting close and you struggled to hold him up. “Just for the night?"
A shatter of glass from the boys dormitory made him cringe and he gave a defeated sigh, "Fine."
You squealed, dropping Sirius to give Remus a hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, "You’re the best"
He didn’t miss the way the dog bared its teeth, grey eyes brilliantly green with envy.
"Watch him for just a sec so I can check if it’s clear in my dorm.” You said turning to jog up your stairs.
Remus listened to make sure you were gone before he slapped Sirius on the head, “You are the stupidest mother fucked I have ever met.” He hissed, “I can’t believe you are doing this right now.”
The newly turned dog just gave an excited bark and a dopey grin back. He wagged his tail at the sound of your footsteps returning.
Sirius didn’t realize he was in way over his head until he reached your dorm. I mean he had known it was a stupid idea the second he had greeted you in this form. But as he was enveloped in your sweet scent and covered in your praise he forgot to care. Your hands were so soft on his fur, your breath in his ears as you carried him making him happy he couldn’t blush.
You spent the night behind closed curtains, pretending you were asleep as you cuddled close to him and read, just as he had always dreamed about. Except in his fantasies he’s not a dog and instead of scratching behind his ears you’re putting hickeys on his neck. But he would take what he could get.
As it got later he heard other girls come into the room, when they saw your curtains closed their voices dropped to a whisper. He began to fade in and out of consciousness, the soft rhythm of your hand on his back paired with the warmth of your blankets and sweetness of the shampoo stuck on your pillow lolling him to sleep.
He only awoke as you shifted to set down your book. The last girl had gone to bed killing the lights and you were yawning, head resting beside him.
“God, you make me miss Sunny.” You whispered, patting his head. Tears pricked in your eyes as you spoke and Sirius nuzzled his head into your chest.
It was there that you both slipped into sleep.
Sirius woke slowly and blinked at the murky light which filtered through the curtains that surrounded him. He was about to move to stretch but a glance down stopped him abruptly.
Your head rested lightly on his bicep, hands curled around the dress shirt he wore. He smiled softly, realizing he had never woken at all and carefully raised his arm to run through your hair before he slipped it beneath the covers to rest in your waist.
These dreams weren’t uncommon but rarely were they so vivid. He could smell your hair and feel the brush of your lips against the skin of his arm. He sighed, his head foggy with admiration and exhaustion. Shifting closer to you he intertwined your legs and held you closer. Kissing your cheek he closed his eyes and prayed he would never wake up.
You blinked awake slowly, your room golden with late sunlight. You had never felt so comfortable in your life. A musk of smoke and cinnamon soothing you to sink deeper into the warmth that held you. You grasped the shirt in your hand tighter pulling yourself closer t-
Your eyes snapped open and you shrieked, shoving Sirius away from you as hard as you could.
He woke with a start, just in time to feel himself hit the ground.
You scrambled out of bed getting caught in your curtains and stumbling to the floor. You quickly stood stomping to the other side of your bed to beat the living daylights out of the boy who lay there.
You ran straight into Marlene whose eyes were wide.
“So that’s what you were doing with your curtains closed last night.” She giggled looking down at Sirius who was rubbing his shoulder.
You flushed impossibly deeper stuttering for an answer that would make any sense. Of course you knew about as much as she did and was left looking a fool as Marlene nodded and winked.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” She said, smirking.
Before you could respond she had darted back downstairs.
By now Sirius was standing, finally understanding what had happened and realizing Remus was probably right. He was a stupid mother fucker.
“Black!” You shrieked, “What the hell is wrong with you!?"
He opened his mouth to answer but you clearly had no intention of letting him.
"You are a sick fuck.” You hissed.
“Y/n, I-"
"Shut up.” Your voice was low with anger, “This is a sick fucking prank. Sneaking into my room like this."
You felt your eyes pricked with tears, embarrassment hot behind your eyes.
Sirius didn’t know what to say. There was really no good explanation that didn’t reveal what had really happened. It would be an embarrassing truth with implications you were too bright to miss. He supposed he could play it off as a joke, a funny prank he and James managed to pull off but the anger and hurt on your face made his chest sting at the idea.
"Just leave.” You spoke quietly pointing at the door.
“Listen, I didn’t mean to-” he started
You glared up at him, “I said leave."
Sirius sighed and opened the door to do as you said.
The second both his feet were on the staircase, it disappeared from beneath him.
With a yelp of shock he fell straight to the floor, legs crumbling, breath knocked from his lungs.
You gasped and ran to the door, the stairs appearing at your feet.
When you got to the bottom you found him under the steps holding his left hand with his right.
"Oh my god, are you alright?” you asked worryingly, dropping to your knees next to him.
He nodded, “I think I broke my wrist though."
"Then you definitely aren’t okay alright.” you scolded him. You asked a few questions he expected; can you move your hand? can you walk? did you hit your head ect. Then you helped him to his feet and began to escort him towards Madame Pomphreys.
On your way out you walked past a group of students who were returning from breakfast. Three broke from the small crowd and sped towards you.
“Godric Sirius, what happened?” Remus asked scanning the two of you.
“Is this from the transformation?” James butted in, reaching towards Sirius’s limp hand.
You swatted him away at the same moment Remus hit him over the head with a book.
“What transformation?” You asked, “What do you mean?"
The question was followed by silence as the others glared at James.
"Is that how you got up the girl’s steps or somet-” It hit you all at once, Sirius’ absence at dinner, Remus’s odd behavior, the dog that appeared out of nowhere, it’s familiar grey eyes and human-like grin.
“Oh god.” you said and Remus stared at his shoes. “You’re the dog."
It was quiet for a moment. You laughed in disbelief, "You’re an Animagus? How? I mean even some of the more powerful wizards struggle to complete this task and you.. I mean you’re an idiot.”
“Hey!” Sirius exclaimed.
You were both shushed at once, your voices echoing off of a luckily empty hallway.
“I’ll explain later y/n.” Remus said, “But we should be somewhere a bit more secure.” He spoke in a whisper.
You nodded, mouth still ajar as you tried to understand what was going on.
Sirius’s wrist was an easy fix and your group was in and out of the hospital wing in minutes. It was then you were led to an empty classroom where Remus quietly explained how the four of them were Animagus. When asked why he simply shrugged before James spoke explaining how it was, “bloody awesome.” It would be years before you were told the true reason for their efforts and how only three of the group turned by choice.
It was late that night when you finally asked the questions that had been on your mind all day. The common room was empty except for you and Sirius. Remus had retreated to bed hours before, James following in his footsteps not long after. The golden light of the small fire was all that kept the room lit.
You sat cross legged on the carpet Sirius across from you, a chessboard between you.
“Checkmate.” You said and your opponent groaned.
You laughed as he tried to convince you he had let you win the last three matches. You watched him as he continued to complain despite the grin slowly taking his face. It wasn’t until his eyes met yours that you realised you had been staring.
Blinking a few times you looked away. “Hey Sirius?” you asked and he hummed, “I’ve been meaning to ask; why did you come with me last night anyways?”
“What do you mean?” He wrinkled his brows.
“I mean, why not go with Remus, why did you want to come with me so bad?” You continued, “It is what exposed you after all.”
You finally met his eyes again to see he was smiling softly
“And you call me an idiot.” he mumbled.
You scowled, “What does that mean dickhead?”
“All this time I thought you were just trying to let me down easy.” He was grinning like a mad man now only infuriating you further.
You sighed impatiently, “What are you talking about?”
He beckoned you closer with two fingers, leaning forward. You rolled your eyes but obliged, leaning towards him. He only stopped when his lips were practically brushing your ear.
You hoped the orangey light of the fire hid the red of your cheeks.
“I like you.” He mumbled breath light on your neck, “Like a lot. Why wouldn’t I follow you upstairs to fall asleep in your arms?”
You had stopped breathing, air hitched in your throat. Your heart dropped to your stomach where butterflies swarmed it with beating wings.
“Are you serious?” You asked pulling back to look him in the eyes.
“I’m always sirius.” He beamed wolfishly and you buried your head in your hands, cheeks aching as you smiled.
Sirius just stared at you with that same dopey grin he had the night before, only now you could see the blush of his cheeks clearly when you looked back up.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You murmured leaning onto your knees to hold his cheek in your hand, your other palm resting on his thigh to hold you above the game you had been playing.
Your kiss was hesitant, lips brushing softly as you tried to mask your obvious inexperience. Sirius didn’t seem to mind as he only tugged you closer. You could feel him smile against you before he broke away.
Fire glittered in his eyes as he reached for you, pulling you into his chest and falling backwards. The action caused you to knock over the chess pieces between you, scattering them around you both.
You laughed, head falling to the crook of his neck where the two of you stayed, his hands cupping your waist as you slowly slipped into sleep.
series summary: Remus was fine being alone until a mysterious and loud man crashes his motorbike into Remus’s life.
a/n: hi!!! i have a series!!! i’ve got a couple of series and chapter stories in my drafts, but i’ve never really had the courage to post them. i have put so much into this story, though, and i really hope you all like it :) leave me some feedback! i’ll probably post more once i know that its not a complete and utter flop. also, i’ve posted it on my ao3 so you can go read it over there too <33
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It was a drowsy, subdued place, in Remus’ opinion, every moment of the year except for spring. Where he grew up, and where he currently resided, the entire town took a green glowing hue for the season. It was cold in the mornings, so when Remus went outside to spread chicken seed on the dewy grass, he put on a sweater. It warmed up as the sun rose, and from the time it took the sun to travel from the horizon to the middle of the sky, Remus was comfortable in a t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans. When the sun was at its peak, Remus might start to sweat through his shirt, maybe going as far as to change into shorts if he was outside, which he usually was. He couldn’t stand to be inside during spring.
The gravel driveway that led to a dirt road was sprouting an abundance of weeds and weeds that looked like flowers. The trees captured light, glowing, instead of the way they seemed to absorb and trap light in winter. Remus’s backyard was a large forest, and Remus had never taken the time to check where his property line ended, so as far as he was concerned, the entire forest was his. If you went deep enough in any direction, you would come to a clearing where the knee-high grass dove into some grass that only tickled your ankles. After the ankle grass, there was an unnaturally blue and unnaturally large lake. Remus’ mom had told him that the lake was so blue and so large because it was natural, that no person could ever make something so beautiful, and Remus found himself agreeing as he got older.
With his mother and father gone to live somewhere where it was spring weather all the time, living on a vast farm with no animals and a huge lawnmower that his father comfortably sat on every weekend to trim the fields, Remus now lived in his slightly renovated childhood home. It was only slightly renovated because it was a great deal messier and almost every surface was covered in coffee or tea stains and a book. Remus also got a television that he rarely used and turned his old bedroom into some sort of reading room/ garden. So, slightly renovated.
Past the gravel driveway littered with weeds and imposter weeds, past the dirt road that served as a crossing and sometimes rest area for the wild animals in the area, was the more populated town. Calholme had two public libraries; three hardware stores, one of which sold exclusively fishing supplies; a psychic who did palm readings and sold handmade jewelry and was rumored to have built the house she did aforementioned things in herself; three gas stations, one on each side of the outskirts of town, and one right in the center; two banks, one of which was relatively new that not many people frequented due to either a lack of trust for banks or simply because it was new; a multitude of fruits and vegetables stands with products grown in the area, delis in which the products ate the grass not 20 miles away, and bakeries that sent a sweet aroma into the air; a record shop that doubled as a coffee shop, candy store, and sometimes a furniture store when the records weren’t selling too well; a car repair shop called Matt Mocks’s garage that also repaired tractors and other broken farm equipment, and if the right guy was in that day, you could get your television repaired, too; and any other storefront that the simple people of Calholme thought they needed. They were quite resourceful in that sense.
So, down one end of the road was Calholme, and down the other were a few scattered cottages and large farmhouses, and even further down was a paved road that brought Sirius Black into town.
—
Remus had opened the window in his kitchen and stood in front of it as he waited for his tea to steep. It was that wonderfully chilly morning, so he shivered a little as the cold air clipped his crooked nose and sharp chin. He wrapped his long arms around his body to give some sort of comfort but found his lack of sustainable body fat and bony arms were more of a hindrance than not. Sighing and turning away from the window, he retrieved a cardigan that was draped over the couch, shaking off some loose crumbs before putting it on and returning to the window. He passed the sink on the way, a large white ceramic hole in the counter that looked more like a tub than a sink, and filled up a cup of water for the plants on the window sill. The house was in disarray, as usual, but Remus kept his plants alive. Most of the ones on the sill were herbs that he cooked with, with one or two flowers mingled in. If he kept the window open all day during this time of year, butterflies would come to the flowers and find themselves fluttering around the kitchen until they could find the window again. Occasionally, they just make themselves at home.
Window plants watered, arms covered and no longer shivering, tea fully steeped and mixed with the right amount of milk and honey, Remus stood in front of the window again. He could hear his chickens clucking by the other side of the house, and the rustle of the trees, the faint hum of a tractor miles off as people started their day. Then, he heard the roar of a failing engine. Not long after that, he heard the harsh sounds of metal scraping and a yelp of surprise that soon turned into groans of pain.
Remus ran to the door, tripping over his discarded rainboots, then running his shin into a coffee table, then shouldering the wall before falling on his face after tripping on some more shoes. When he finally got to the door, the chickens were louder, and so was the groaning.
His driveway wasn’t too long, but it was still long enough and curved enough so that the house couldn’t be seen from the road. The gravel crunched under his feet, eyes surveying the weeds, hands warmed by the mug he had forgotten to put down and somehow, miraculously, had not dropped on his way out.
There was a lump that may have been a human body or may have been a Greek god that had fallen down to the earth. Besides this was a discarded and seriously fucked up motorbike. A few feet away was a duffel bag with its contents spilled out onto his driveway. Telling from the skid marks, Remus guessed that this Greek god had lost his footing, or maybe hadn’t seen a pothole, and veered into his driveway for somewhat of an easier crash than what would have been in the woods. The marks also told Remus that the driver was coming into town.
“Are you alright?” Remus tried, taking the groans as a sign of life and creeping closer to the body.
“Oh, fuck,” they groaned, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“Do you need help?” Remus knew it was a stupid question, one with the answer right in front of his face, as they began to writhe around the ground and get their wits about them.
Remus moved over to the scattered possessions, setting down his mug and gathering the various items back into the duffel. He ignored the magazine with David Bowie on the cover, ignored the criminally small shirt that had tears in the collar and Remus knew would make the Greek god look even more godlike, ignored the eyeliner pencil, and politely folded things when necessary before putting them away.
“Where the fuck am I?” the body had moved into a sitting position, feet on the ground and legs bent at the knees. There were rips in his black jeans, blood seeping into the denim, and a tattered hole in the sleeve of his leather jacket that also left red dripping onto the gravel. His face wasn’t too scuffed, just some road rash on his cheekbone and jaw. Greek god confirmed. Fallen from heaven, straight from Olympius, carved by the hands of Zeus himself.
He was strikingly pale, which made his eyes and hair striking as well. His eyes were a deep blue, blue like Remus’ lake, and his black hair was long and cut into a choppy sort of shag with lots of layers. He looked disheveled, obviously, because he was just in an awful motorbike accident, and Remus was staring at him.
“Just outside of Calholme,” Remus almost called him ‘sir’, despite the fact that he hadn’t called anyone but his teachers and his father 'sir’, and this boy was obviously close to Remus’ age. But the boy had a commanding presence, one that made people want to call him 'sir’, and tremble with nerves as they did so.
Shuffling a bit, still sat down, he surveyed the damage. No longer groaning nor writhing, he was somehow even more attractive. His brows were furrowed-in pain, concentration, just pure Greek god sternness? Remus could not tell- as he pulled at the new holes in his jeans. He didn’t wince, but he did scowl, and his fingertips ran through his blood for a moment before sighing. He twisted to look at his arm, and he winced then, but only because of his beloved jacket.
“Motherfucker,” he mumbled, taking care to slip off the arm of the jacket and pinch the torn edges together as if they would magically stitch together.
Remus realized he was still holding the boy’s duffel, so he dropped it gently on the gravel between them.
He cast his eyes up to look at Remus for the first time. “Thanks,” he said softly, pulling off his entire jacket now.
It was cold, and Remus was wrapped tightly in his cardigan, and this boy was bleeding, his motorbike dented and silent even though he had never taken the keys out of the ignition.
“Can you walk?” Remus asked, surprising himself with the nervous tremble in his voice. Remus didn’t talk much during the day, besides to his chickens and the lake and the flowers and the butterflies, and occasionally to the stray cat that would make the long trek from the neighboring properties. This boy was a little different than talking to those things.
He struggled to his feet, easing gently on his knees and not putting his scraped hands on the gravel. He bent his legs, only grimacing a little, and said, “Yeah.”
“Do you want to come inside? It’s warmer.”
The boy craned his neck, looking at the heavily forested area around him, his bike, and Remus. He looked at Remus a little longer than these other things and nodded briskly.
Remus grabbed his mug and turned to walk up the driveway, listening to the crunch of the boy’s footsteps behind him. They were strong and sure, despite the trail of blood he was leaving.
“This your house?” The boy said from a few paces behind Remus once they got close enough to see it. He sounded neutral, not apprehensive or suspicious of Remus, but not grateful or relieved. Remus found it a little unnerving, especially with his back to him. He shivered and turned to face him, nodding and opening the front door.
Bloody hell, my loves, I think I wrote and rewrote this part about 40 times, but here it is. It’s probably the biggest segue yet, and I truly hope it doesn’t disappoint.
It was around 6,200 words last I checked, for those who want to know, and as always, please let me know what you think! And if I’ve forgotten anyone on the tag list!
James made sure to continue looking decidedly groggy and disinterested as he brushed his teeth.
“Dunno. Ask Moony?”
“I did, he says he doesn’t have it. And Pete doesn’t have it.”
“Well, clearly I don’t either,” James said, turning from the mirror to lift his arms as he stood in front of Sirius wearing nothing but a towel.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Don’t think I’d put it past you.”
“To what, clamp it between my arse cheeks? I said I don’t bloody have it.”
“So if I were to look in your trunk…”
“You say that as if I don’t know you already did. And has it occurred to you that Y/N might have it?” James turned back to the sink and began washing his face, still carefully maintaining his air of nonchalance. “She said something about needing to make amends with Evans for last night. Maybe she’s going backhander shopping at Honeydukes.”
That seemed to satisfy Sirius. He popped James lightly on the back of the head before making his way out of the bathroom.
“Prink faster, will you? I’m Marvin.”
“We can’t all roll out of bed looking like Godric’s gift to women. Some of us have to work at it.”
Bloody hell, my loves, I think I wrote and rewrote this part about 40 times, but here it is. It’s probably the biggest segue yet, and I truly hope it doesn’t disappoint.
It was around 6,200 words last I checked, for those who want to know, and as always, please let me know what you think! And if I’ve forgotten anyone on the tag list!
James made sure to continue looking decidedly groggy and disinterested as he brushed his teeth.
“Dunno. Ask Moony?”
“I did, he says he doesn’t have it. And Pete doesn’t have it.”
“Well, clearly I don’t either,” James said, turning from the mirror to lift his arms as he stood in front of Sirius wearing nothing but a towel.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Don’t think I’d put it past you.”
“To what, clamp it between my arse cheeks? I said I don’t bloody have it.”
“So if I were to look in your trunk…”
“You say that as if I don’t know you already did. And has it occurred to you that Y/N might have it?” James turned back to the sink and began washing his face, still carefully maintaining his air of nonchalance. “She said something about needing to make amends with Evans for last night. Maybe she’s going backhander shopping at Honeydukes.”
That seemed to satisfy Sirius. He popped James lightly on the back of the head before making his way out of the bathroom.
“Prink faster, will you? I’m Marvin.”
“We can’t all roll out of bed looking like Godric’s gift to women. Some of us have to work at it.”
James towelled off and took a breath. He didn’t like lying to Sirius. But then, he wasn’t technically lying. You did have the map. He just left out the minor detail that you were holding it for him till the weekend so he could use it to spy on Padfoot. He may have neglected to let you in on that detail as well.
Once back in the room, James evaluated the overall mood as he dressed. The mess around Peter’s bed was growing by the minute as he added the contents of his trunk to the floor in search of his left shoe. Remus and Sirius, meanwhile, were laughing about the unfortunate haircut Alice had given Frank that Frank refused to set right for fear of hurting her feelings. James gave his own hair a good tousle and hoped this wasn’t his lot in life now – blokes with girls talking to blokes with girls about other blokes with girls, while he and Pete just wandered around in the background, looking for their left shoes.
“Fuck’s sake, Worms, you’d think we weren’t literally at magic school right now,” Sirius said as Peter raked another pile of parchments, comics and socks out of his trunk. “Accio Peter’s left shoe.”
The shoe in question came flying from behind Peter’s bedside table. Sirius caught it and tossed it to him.
“Now can we please go to breakfast? If someone’s taken all the good scones before I had a chance to take all the good scones, I’m having Fortescue give you all haircuts.”
“If you’ll recall, I warned you this was going to happen. You forgot the second ‘N’ in 'Rennervate’.”
“I do recall.”
“And I told you I wouldn’t help you if you didn’t get it done last night, didn’t I? You need to mention the Shield Charm in that paragraph.”
“You did tell me that.”
“But you never listen, do you? Add a few foreign translations. 'Sersemlet’ in Turkish. 'Desmaius’ in Spanish. 'Stupor’ in German.”
“I absolutely never listen.”
“I’m sorry to be so harsh, but I just hope you’ve learnt a lesson this time,” Lily concluded as you rolled your Charms essay. You hoped you looked properly admonished, since the only thing you’d learnt was that you could always count on Lily to compulsively help you finish your assignments, even while in the midst of telling you she wasn’t helping you finish your assignments.
She sat down on your trunk as you finished packing your bag, and you could practically see your lecture running through her mind. She’d let you off the hook last night with a terse “let’s just get some sleep”, but now she looked every bit the mum about to give her daughter the “birds and bees” talk. Oh, Godric… she wasn’t about to give you the “birds and bees” talk, was she?
You were slightly relieved when she seemed more concerned about your method of exit last night.
“That’s a hundred-foot drop, Y/N.”
“I had a Whizzbee.”
“Which transitioned when from a sweet to a safety device? And I saw what he did with the broom – diving when he knew you weren’t even properly hanging on yet.”
“I’ve done more than my share of Wronski Feints, Lily, we play Quidditch. We’re perfectly comfortable in the air, and–”
“I know you’ve an answer for everything,” she said, cutting you off, “but I just want you to think about something for one second. Really think about it: What would’ve happened if something went wrong and you got hurt?”
“He wouldn’t have let me,” you said simply.
“Do you honestly trust him that much? I know he’d never hurt you on purpose, but you have to admit, he doesn’t tend to think things completely through.”
“Lily, I know you don’t like him, but is it really so awful not to think everything to death? I’ve been doing naught but thinking since term started, and where’s it gotten me? Confused, stressed, attracting hideous amounts of unwanted attention, and extremely bloody sleepy.”
“It’s nothing to do with liking him, it’s to do with understanding him a bit better after yesterday. It would seem he’s being backed into a corner. And as I recently learned you’re all part-time animals, I’m sure you can see where I’m going with that.”
“If you ever find Sirius Black attacking his way out of a corner – boy or dog – it’ll be because he’s pinned his friends behind him and is trying to protect them. That’s one thing it’d actually be great if you could understand about him, Lily. He can be an utterly selfish git, yes. He’ll take all the good scones, he’ll jump all the queues, he’ll buy the last Bad Company shirt in the shop even though he knew how much you wanted it…”
“Still hurts, does it?”
“It will always hurt.” Bloody hell, you’d wanted that shirt. You nearly decided to just end on that note and let Lily go on thinking the worst of the lousy shirt thief.
“Anyway, he’s a git. But when it’s something really important, he’s also the most selfless person I’ve ever known. And yeah, I’d trust him with my life.”
Lily looked you hard in the eyes until you crossed yours. She rolled hers and grabbed her bag off her bed.
“Fair enough. You’ve all made it this far without being expelled or permanently dismembered, and that’s more than I’d have put money on. Ready for some mediocre scones?”
“Just you watch – every one of them’s going to be lemon,” you sighed, joining her on her way to the door. “Oh, and Lily? I’d trust James with my life, too.”
“I wouldn’t trust Potter with my third toe.”
“Oh, well that I wouldn’t do either, he’s got a bit of a foot fetish.”
“And there goes my appetite…”
“More mediocre scones for me then!”
The week was a somewhat dull blur of Quidditch training and Lily demanding you focus on your schoolwork because in case you and the Marauders had forgotten, this was, in fact, an educational institution and not your own personal playground of wayward debauchery.
The Marauders continued forgetting.
Monday’s swearing-chalk stunt was a great success – you’d even caught Lily giggling a few times as Binns floated by, droning on about the Goblin Rebellion of 1752, completely oblivious to the torrent of obscenities his blackboard was unleashing. For an encore, however, they challenged Peeves to see who could come up with the most rude rhymes for “Snape”. Considering it took him a full two days of recitation whilst chasing Severus through the halls before he ran out of limericks, Peeves was the clear victor. But Lily was decidedly less amused by that prank, meaning you, Marlene and Emmeline had to spend all your free time placating her with revision sessions to stop her setting anyone on fire.
Elsewhere, Hogwarts had managed to weave a fascinating tale around you, Remus and Sirius, not a single portion of which was true.
Apparently, you and Sirius had been secretly dating since fourth year. Or had been bethrothed since birth, depending on who was telling the story. But a “volatile relationship between two people who are clearly mad as hatters”, as you overheard one seventh year put it, “well, it was just doomed from the start, wasn’t it?” Lovely. Anyway, all that doom boiled over when Sirius discovered Remus had taken you on a “clandestine” (publicly clandestine?) Hogsmeade jaunt, and your and Sirius’s fight was followed by an all-out brawl between Sirius and Remus in the Marauders’ dorm, which Sirius won. Or Sirius had challenged Remus to a duel, which Sirius won. Or in one particularly interesting version, Sirius had pushed Remus off the Astronomy Tower, which obviously also counted as a win. And now, you were either furious with Sirius, furious with Remus, or furious with them both, and everyone was waiting with bated breath to see what happened next.
The fact the three of you were currently taking your tea with James and Peter with nary a hint of conflict seemed to mean nothing to anyone.
“The thing that gets me is, I lose in every single version of this rumour,” Remus complained, shooting a hand out to snatch the last Bourbon away from Pete. “Not one person at this entire school could come up with a single scenario where I win?”
“Well, you’re clearly quick,” Peter frowned, settling for a Ginger Nut, “so I can’t see you just hanging about and letting Padfoot chuck you off the tower.”
“So… I successfully run away instead?”
“Well? It’s not a loss.”
“I’d win a bloody duel. Y/N, I’d win a duel, right?”
“Nah, you play too fair. Sirius would cheat.”
“Excuse me? You mean I’d be too creative to be limited by the parameters of mundane rules.”
“Six of one. Oh, Remus, don’t look like that. Tell you what, I’ll have Marly start a new rumour. You and Sirius decide how you’d win.”
“He challenges me to a swot-off?”
“How about I challenge you to sodoff?”
“Now, now, Moony, the real issue here isn’t that you’re losing, it’s that I’m winning in such completely uninspired ways. No one wants to lose a boring old dust-up. But what say you to losing a flying motorbike race whilst being pursued by a rogue dragon?”
“I say you’ve finally gone all the way doolally? Flying motorbikes don’t even exist–”
“Yet.”
“Fine, yet, but if we’re to’ve raced them, they sort of need to exist now. Meanwhile, I’ve still lost…”
“There’s an X factor in this version, though. What if you were neck and neck, and then bam, in comes the dragon, and you’re knocked off course as you narrowly dodge the vicious snap of its gaping jaws?”
“See? She gets it.”
“That’s not a comfort. But if that’s the case, then it should be a draw on the grounds of dragon interference.”
“Can I just interject to ask where I am in all of this? As if two of my best mates would be battling over another of my best mates and I wouldn’t be there to referee or provide moral support or witty commentary?”
“You’re where you always are: asleep in the common room,” you smiled at James, and as the lads laughed, you noticed Lily standing a few yards away, looking at the lot of you like you had three heads apiece.
“See you in DADA. Don’t be late,” you said around the last gulp of your tea before moving to intercept Lily. She still wasn’t quite over the Snape (“the oily snake, who shampooed once just by mistake, and his hair turned to mush like a sodden cake”… yeah, you’d had that one stuck in your head for days) incident, and you didn’t need James to lose any more points by saying something Jamesy.
“You really are all absolutely mental.”
“It’s basically a survival technique at this point. What’s going on?”
“I can’t find Marlene anywhere. She has my DADA notes, and I want to get to class early and start on the new chapter. Do you know–”
“Who would actually win a swot-off against Remus? Yes, I think I do.”
“Cute. Do you know where she is?”
“Let me step into this cupboard for a moment and I will.”
“Let you…? How is that going to help?”
“Just wait here and don’t open the door.”
You didn’t know what James was up to this weekend that would require you hiding the map, but you were glad to have it. There was a little errand you’d decided needed running, and as you looked over the names that slowly materialised, you reckoned now might be as good a time as any.
It took you a few minutes to spot Marlene in one of the empty classrooms on the fifth floor. Before you could wonder what she was doing there, you noticed another name quite close to hers: Duane Morgan. Merlin, Marlene. But actually, that might just work. Best of British to them, anyway. You gave the map a quick salute before tapping it with your wand and whispering “mischief managed”.
“She’s in the fifth-floor empty classroom next to the Boris statue,” you told Lily as you exited the cupboard and headed for the main doors. “Knock first and don’t act shocked to see Morgan.”
“Morgan?! Y/N Y/L/N, what did you just do?”
“The less you know, the happier you’ll be!” you called over your shoulder.
It was overcast and windy out, and you buried your face in your robes as a cold gust sent leaves swirling across the grounds. You hadn’t thought much about what you wanted to say, and that was just as well. Saying too much seemed to be what always led to friction when it came to him and the Marauders. The two of you, on the other hand, had maintained an odd sort of respectful civility by keeping your infrequent interactions brief, polite, and to the point.
You rounded a corner and found him sitting with his back against a large stone atop the slope that led down to Hagrid’s hut, using it to block the wind as he read. As you quietly approached, you could make out the dust jacket: The Eagle Has Landed. You’d seen a review in Remus’s copy of the Sunday Times last week. Brand-new Muggle novel about basically good people being forcibly recruited by the Nazis to do something bad. Undoubtedly a gift from Alphard. You hoped beyond hope that Alphard’s influence was taking root in there somewhere amongst the noxious weeds his parents sowed.
“Hello, Regulus.”
In the swift hands of a fellow seeker, the book vanished into his robes, but he relaxed when he saw it was you. He let out a small breath of what you assumed was relief and laid the novel in his lap as he peered up at you.
He didn’t have Sirius’s looks, but he was growing to be striking in his own way. If only he didn’t look so… repressed. Even without that pompous expression he wore whenever he was around his Housemates, he was a bit too pale, a bit too drawn, a bit too dour. Like a plant that had been denied proper sunlight for much too long.
Whereas Sirius had overcome his environment, Regulus was a clear product of it. He simply looked like what he was: an unhappy boy with no true friends, not thriving or having fun or looking forward to life’s adventures but just going through the motions of a rigidly scripted existence. And accustomed to having to hide his few joys from virtually everyone he knew.
His eyes – not grey like his brother’s but a misty blue that put you in mind of a hazy day on the ocean – were slightly wary now. You’d been regarding him a bit too long, and you needed him at ease for this conversation.
“To what do I owe the–”
“Rapturous pleasure of my delightful company?”
A ghost of a smile. So far, so good.
“Before we get to that, it’s helpful to keep a few decoy dust jackets about for when you don’t want people minding your business. Dull titles that have to do with maths and such. Remus and I have plenty; I’ll owl you a few.”
“Really? I’d… that is, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you,” he said stiffly, but the look on his face gave him away as pleased. Time to get to the point.
“I’ve come to ask a favour. I don’t know what’s expected of you when it comes to your parents, and I’d never pretend to. But if there’s any way you could just play dumb from here on out when it comes to the topic of your brother’s… romantic pursuits, that would also be greatly appreciated.”
You’d expected him to be combative, to tell you to keep your nose out of his family’s affairs. You were surprised, therefore, to see him looking more apologetic than anything.
“I didn’t give them a name, I swear. I honestly thought they’d be glad. He’ll be of age next month. They want something settled, and every time they’ve spoken to him about it, he’s said… well, he…”
Regulus blushed and looked down at his book, so you finished for him. You’d heard Sirius say it often enough, and frankly, it never got less funny.
“He’s said he’d shag his way through the entire East End twice before he wasted a perfectly good ring on the finger of those shop mannequins playing at girls their jumped-up society friends birthed?”
The ghost of a smile took full form this time, and you grinned back.
“Yeah. That. Anyway, I thought they’d be relieved to hear that he seemed to be genuinely interested in someone. But if you’re here, I take it they’re not. So I won’t mention it again. And if they ask, I’ll tell them I’ve heard it didn’t work out. Is this agreeable?”
“It’s agreeable. Merci, Monsieur Noir.”
He smirked at you, and you felt the usual regret. There was still time for Regulus, but it was running out with every expectation he lived up to and every rule Sirius broke.
“Y/N?”
“Oui?”
“I’m not out to get him, you know. He thinks I am. I don’t like the way things are any more than he does, but it’s just the way things are. He has responsibilities. We both do. But… he’s my brother, and I love him,” he said firmly, but his expression was hesitant, as if he had just admitted a shortcoming. “If you could… perhaps not in those exact words, but…”
“I’ll give him your best, Regulus.”
“Please do.”
You turned to walk away but were stopped short by something he’d said.
“Hey, when you say you didn’t give your parents a name… does that mean you have a name to give?”
He seemed genuinely perplexed. “What do you mean?”
“Do you know who it is? The girl Sirius is interested in?”
Regulus looked at you as if unsure whether you were having him on or not. You supposed it was a surprising revelation, him knowing something about Sirius that his best mates didn’t, but you weren’t opposed to finding out this way if you had to. Sirius might have his reasons for keeping this under wraps, but you had no plans to break his trust. You just… needed to know. You needed the peace of mind of knowing that this girl wasn’t the type who might hurt him. He’d been hurt enough.
Unfortunately, Regulus didn’t look like someone about to divulge information.
His face was the picture of pure surprise now; his mouth had even fallen open a bit. He looked, for once, like a regular 13-year-old boy – and sounded like one, too, when he breathed: “You mean you honestly don’t know?”
“I don’t, but just forget I asked. It’s none of mine anyway, really.”
“Well, it’s sort of… wow. Yeah. Best not, actually. It’s not my place.”
Damn.
“No worries at all. Thanks again for the favour, and I’ll send those jackets off tonight. Until our next covert chat!”
You turned back one more time as he stood, fastidiously brushing bits of grass from his robes.
“Take care, alright, Regulus? Also, I’m easy to find. Should you ever need to find someone.”
“You take care as well,” he said quietly, avoiding the overture. As always.
“So despite the great personal risk to my toes, I’ll come up and get it. Just slide it under your door at midnight. That way, we can be sure no one sees you making the handover.”
“This is all extremely Avengers, isn’t it?” you asked, shoving your Quidditch gear into your locker. “Any particular reason?”
“Yes.”
“Git.”
“Aaargh, Y/N, don’t make me feel bad about this. There’s just something I need to check on. The lads don’t know either, and I swear I’ll tell you first if it turns out to be anything important. Deal?”
“Fine. 'You can keep your secret for the present, if you want to be mysterious.’”
“Tolkien!” Remus shouted as he flung the changing-room curtain aside. James laughed. He looked like a magician making a particularly dramatic stage entrance. It was good to see him so at ease.
“So Prongs has a secret?”
“Yes. I’m MI6, undercover. I trust Her Majesty’s Secret Service can rely on your discretion.”
“Git.”
“See?” you gestured. James stuck his tongue out at you and decided it was time for a diversion.
“What’re you up to, Moony? Come down to watch the old ball and chain practice?”
“I always watch practice, you div.”
“Hadn’t occurred to me to ask till now, but tomorrow’s Saturday. Going to Hogsmeade again, are we? Nudge nudge?”
“We’re all going to Hogsmeade together, like normal,” you answered, slinging your bag over your shoulder.
“Yeah,” Remus said, lifting the bag off your arm and onto his own. “Once everyone gets bored of the rumour-mongering, we’ll try another proper date.”
You gave Remus a sunny smile as he held the curtain back for you, and James realised with dawning horror that Remus Lupin was about a mile fucking smoother than him, and he was bloody well gaining on Sirius, for that matter. Never had he thought he’d be looking to the lad who’d come to Hogwarts terrified of his own shadow for lessons on how to impress girls, but he might do well to start taking notes.
The three of you made your way back to the castle together and got cleaned up for an uneventful dinner. Around ten – after several remarks about James’s “power-mad march towards tyranny” – Sirius declared himself exhausted and turned in early. James had run a particularly strenuous practice with just that outcome in mind. Remus’s second-favourite activity behind reading was sleeping, so he wasn’t far behind Pads, and Peter followed the majority, as usual.
There were a few sixth and seventh years still knocking about in the common room at midnight, but they were all focused on their books or conversations, and no one noticed when James slipped up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. With the map safely beneath his shirt, he headed up to his room. Everyone was asleep, and he undressed quietly before sliding the map under his pillow and climbing into bed.
He’d hoped his tired body would drag him right off to sleep as well, but his brain had other ideas. Was he doing the right thing? Sirius was his best mate, and it stung a bit that he hadn’t talked to him about this relationship. James hadn’t been two minutes separated from the realisation that he fancied Lily before he was regaling Sirius with his plans for their future. He’d naturally assumed it would be the same when Padfoot finally set his sights on a girl. And he’d been blindsided when – in the space of just a few days – he’d gone from preparing for that conversation to be about you to wondering who the hell had turned Sirius’s head so quickly.
He had to know James would keep his confidence. So what was it? Was she a Slytherin? Had he actually developed feelings for one of the snobbish birds his parents had been forcing him to socialise with for years and was too embarrassed to say? Or was he embarrassed of James instead – afraid he’d say something offensive or do something daft? Was this his method of getting over you? Had he resigned himself to an arranged marriage and decided to make the best of a bad situation by snogging his intended at every opportunity?
It took some doing, but James finally quieted his inner monologue and, along with it, the fear that he was planning to follow Pads out of nothing but petty nosiness or wounded feelings. Things had not been going well for Sirius of late, and he was worried about him. All of you were worried about him. It didn’t matter to James who this girl was – so long as she was a good person who was treating Sirius well. Once he knew that for certain, he could relax and let everyone’s love lives fend for themselves.
He closed his eyes as the clock chimed two. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.
Breakfast lasted a week. Everyone got ready for six months. The walk to Hogsmeade was a decades-long pilgrimage for bloody butterbeer.
By the time the five of you had settled into a booth at the Broomsticks for lunch, James was convinced he’d be old and grey – but still ridiculously good-looking – before Sirius ever departed for his post-Hogsmeade date tonight. Not even watching a mildly tipsy Evans giggling with Vance, Fortescue and Macdonald a few tables over could cheer him up. Well… maybe it cheered him up a bit.
At least a distraction presented itself when McKinnon walked in with Morgan.
“How long’s that been going on?” Peter asked. McKinnon had spotted you and was trying to pull Morgan back out the door. From the look on her face, James guessed she hadn’t mentioned to you that she was seeing him.
“Not very long, I don’t think,” you answered. Morgan had spotted you as well now and seemed pretty adamant about coming in. That couldn’t be good.
“She didn’t tell you, did she?” Remus asked, having also noticed that Marlene looked as if she’d sooner leap into the fireplace at this point than be here. Morgan signalled for a pair of butterbeers and chose a table directly in your line of sight. That couldn’t be good either.
“No, but there’s no reason to. He wasn’t my boyfriend, we just went on a few dates. Last year, even.”
“Well, someone should tell him that before McKinnon runs out of oxygen,” Sirius said, nodding towards their table. Morgan was almost comically over-snogging the girl, pausing only to occasionally glance over to see if you were watching.
“Godric, poor Marlene,” you sighed. “What an arsehole.”
You turned and exchanged a look with Evans, who seemed to be trying to decide if she should go over and interrupt. Before she could, Sirius’s fingers flicked ever so slightly in Morgan’s direction as he pretended to scratch his nose. Suddenly, one of the butterbeers Rosmerta had just set on the table tipped over, drenching Morgan’s trousers.
He leapt up, cursing his way to the loo, and you and Evans descended on McKinnon, who was on the verge of tears. Once you’d convinced her she’d broken no sacred bonds where you were concerned and Evans had insisted she spend the rest of the trip with the girls, you returned to the table. James watched as you mouthed a quick “thank you” to Sirius, who tried for an innocent expression before giving up and winking at you.
After that, the group split up for the rest of the afternoon. You and Remus disappeared to the music shop, and Peter headed back to Honeydukes to try to chat up some bird he had his eye on. James and Sirius, meanwhile, elected to partake in one of their favourite forms of entertainment: donning the cloak and terrorising third years at the Shrieking Shack.
They’d just successfully sent a group screaming back towards the castle when you and Remus strolled up, large smiles on your faces.
“I thought that one kid was going to faint dead away when you were tugging on his robes,” you laughed as James pulled the cloak off the two of them.
“Just a few more satisfied customers!” Sirius grinned.
“Of some future therapist,” Remus added.
“The onus is on us to keep the 'shriek’ in Shrieking Shack, Moons,” James said, noticing with relief that twilight was finally creeping over the trees. “Do we need to round up Pete?”
“We saw him leaving with those Hufflepuffs,” Moony said, shaking his head.
“Was he using the 'my uncle manages the Rolling Stones’ story again?” James asked, cringing a bit. You bobbed your head.
“You’d think he’d have come up with a new one after he told it to that lass last year whose uncle actually did manage the Rolling Stones,” Sirius mused.
The four of you made your way back, boisterously singing Stones tunes the whole way, and after a quick dinner, Sirius excused himself and was gone. James decided to bide his time and was rewarded for it. Evans’s group returned and joined yours at the Gryffindor table, and – still relaxed by the butterbeer – she included James in her cheerful chattering as if she’d been doing it for years. By the time everyone decided to head up to the tower, he was practically glowing. Maybe he wouldn’t spend his life looking for his left shoe after all.
As the Hall thinned out, you and Remus hung back to congratulate him on not being persona non grata to the object of his affection for once. He told you to go on without him, saying he was going to do a bit of spying on Pete, who still had the Hufflepuff girls on the hook in the first-floor corridor. It wasn’t a lie; he listened in from beneath the cloak until Peter started assuring them he could procure tickets to the Rolling Stones concert of their choice. That boy’s lying was becoming a problem.
James headed back to the ground floor and found a quiet corner wherein he could spread out the map. Taking a deep breath, he whispered the words.
He scrutinised every nook and cranny in the castle, every tucked-away little alcove or dead-end space in a rarely used corridor where two people might sneak off to be alone. And while he discovered quite a few apparent trysts he’d never have predicted, what he didn’t find was Sirius.
He’d developed quite the headache by the time he decided to try the grounds, and that’s when he finally spotted him. In one of the greenhouses. Personally, James found the greenhouses to be more hideously disturbing than romantic at night, but to each his own. He adjusted his glasses and steeled himself to read the name alongside Sirius’s.
Only… there wasn’t one.
Shit, had he missed her? He looked quickly for dots that might have recently entered the castle from outside and found none. James pounded his fist on the floor in frustration. He’d never be able to keep the map away from Sirius for another week. He should’ve just left the Great Hall when Padfoot did, but he’d been too caught up in Evans treating him like a human, and now he’d blown the whole thing.
He was folding the map in defeat and preparing to go up to bed when the penny finally dropped.
Fuck.
He hadn’t missed Mystery Bird; she’d never been there at all. She’d never been anywhere at all because she didn’t bloody exist. Sirius had made her up. To avoid the conversation you were trying to have with him the night of the party. To protect himself after you agreed to a date with Remus. So that you wouldn’t find out he’d stood aside for Moony and would instead think he’d already been interested in another girl.
That stupid fucking and yet still somehow rather impressively selfless idiot.
The main doors appeared to open and close on their own as James took off for the greenhouses. There was a very slim chance he could still be wrong, but the pieces had fallen too perfectly into place. He’d forgotten which greenhouse Sirius had been in amidst the shock of his revelation, but he finally found him in the third, slumped against a stack of potting-compost bags, a half-empty bottle of firewhisky beside him. He was either asleep or unconscious, and James lit his wand in order to examine the ground around him. Only one set of footprints.
“Pads,” James said loudly, and Sirius jolted. He tried for a moment to scramble to his feet but couldn’t find purchase in the dirt. Dropping back against the compost, he raised the bottle of whisky towards James instead before taking a long drink.
“Sirius, what the hell are you doing?”
“Dating.”
“Dating? Well, I must say, this is not at all as advertised, and I have to wonder now why everyone’s so bloody interested in doing it.”
“Was dating. Date’s over.”
“Ah. When did the date end?”
“Five minutes. Just missed her.”
“That’s interesting, because I had the map out five minutes ago–”
“I fucking knew you had the map, you lied to my–”
“I didn’t lie to your anything, Y/N did have the map till last night. So as I was saying, I had the map out five minutes ago, and I couldn’t seem to find a name anywhere in the vicinity of yours.”
“Okay, ten minutes.”
“I had it out ten minutes ago, too.”
“Twenty then, what do I know, I’m drunk, and you did lie. If she had it, then you gave it to her just so you could do this. I can’t believe you–”
“And I can’t believe you. You couldn’t just tell me you’d made it all up? Me?”
“Made what up? So she left before you got the map out, so what, it’s none of your fucking business, James.”
“You made up a girl because you were afraid Y/N was going to tell you she–”
“What does Y/N have to do with anything. She’s with Remus. She belongs with Remus.”
“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t understand? And did you think she wasn’t just as scared as you? It took a lot for her to walk over there that night, Pads, she–”
“I can’t help it if she thought she was… whatever she thought she was. She was wrong, she got it straightened out, and that’s it. And it’s good luck she did, too, because… because I don’t even think of her that way. Never have.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really. She’s a friend, that’s all. A good friend. So just drop it, will you.”
“So it wouldn’t mean anything to you if I were to tell you she–”
“Leave it, for fuck’s sake!!”
“Sirius, she loves you.”
“She doesn’t. She loves Remus.”
“Sirius…”
“I don’t love her.”
“Sirius.”
“Ican’t love her, James…”
His voice broke, and he crumbled. James had seen Sirius cry before over the course of their friendship. But they had always been angry tears. Furiously storming out of the Potters’ fireplace after a row with his parents, defiantly swiping a sleeve over cheeks that were wet with disgust and shame and resentment, not sadness.
James suddenly had a very startling picture of just how terrifyingly powerful love could be as he dropped to his knees and pulled his sobbing friend into his arms. Sirius’s entire body was heaving, and James did his best to hold him steady until it stopped, not having a clue what else to do in that moment. What he did know was that he and Sirius were long overdue for a talk. But not now, and not here.
When Sirius’s misery had given way to the occasional shuddering sigh, James gently helped him to his feet.
“You can’t tell her, Prongs… swear to me you won’t tell her.”
“I won’t tell her, I swear. But mate, you need to tell me what’s going on. Everything that’s going on. And then we’ll go from there. Alright?”
Sirius nodded as James grabbed his upper arm for support, and the two turned to leave before James had a thought.
“Let’s just take this with us, shall we,” he said, bending to grab the liquor bottle. “The last thing I ever want to see in my life is a Venomous Tentacula that’s gone and watered itself with firewhisky.”
There was a pause, and then they both erupted in laughter. The boys were still howling as they staggered into the secret passage behind the ivy and had to stop midway through just to let the mania wear off before they got themselves nicked.
James took in a heavy breath as he pulled off his glasses to wipe his face. Crying, laughing, love, pain, fear, worry, hope… and all in the space of about five minutes.
I’ve been stuck on this part so long, and I finally sussed out that I was vastly overthinking where I wanted it to go next. Soooo I reckoned if I let this part move out of the house and be its own person, the next part might be free to, y'know, move into its old room and get comfy lol
This one is still around 5,000 words on its own, though, so I desperately hope it doesn’t feel like shortchanging. I love every one of you who’s read any part of this, and I promise I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now! Happy belated Halloween, and please feel more than free to keep guiding my scattered self through what I am determined will be my first finished fanfic! <3
“So call me cynical, but I think that was less about making sure you were alright and more about sussing out whether you’ve called bagsy on Remus or Sirius so they can go after the other one,” Marlene said, pulling her hair into a ponytail.
“Well spotted.” Your voice was muffled beneath the pillows you’d piled over your head.
“Come out from there and do your Charms work,” Lily called from her bed.
“My favourite was the third year who asked you to get her a lock of Black’s hair,” Marlene continued cheerfully.
“Or that girl who asked if Lupin had any tattoos,” Emmeline added as she and Marlene descended into a fit of giggles.
“Does Ilvermorny have a student exchange programme?” you wondered aloud.
“I’m not going to help you in the morning if you haven’t done your essay,” Lily warned, meticulously filling out her diary for the week.
You wished you had James’s cloak so you could slip out of the room. Better yet, out of the school. Out into the night and just stop thinking. James was right. You were tired of thinking. And worrying, second-guessing, trying to interpret and predict everyone else’s thoughts and feelings and moods… You knew you needed to listen to Lily, but that was just more thinking you didn’t have the energy to do.
Instead, you remained in your bedclothes cocoon until the girls had settled in, their rustlings eventually replaced by the familiar sounds of the castle at night – the distant creaks and thumps and pops you’d always found strangely calming. You were just about to let them lull you to sleep when you heard a light tapping at the window beside your bed.
It was late for an owl, and you jolted back into alertness, hoping nothing was wrong. The tapping sounded again as you dropped onto the sill and lifted the latch. Pushing the window open, you were met with nothing but inky darkness. You leaned forwards, confused, and were about to poke your head out when Sirius’s face rose suddenly in front of you.
“Candygram!” he grinned, proffering a Fizzing Whizzbee.
You fell back onto one elbow, gasping so hard a shrill wheeze emitted from your throat.
“Holy… what– how are you–?”
Your mind was racing as fast as your heart as you watched him bobbing in mid-air, still holding out the sweet. Not even ten packets of Whizzbees could lift someone that high off the ground.
You sat up as Sirius receded from the window, affording you a full view of him – astride his broomstick. Exhaling slowly as he drifted back to the window, you snatched the sherbet off his open palm.
“As apologies for giving someone a heart attack go, this is lacking.”
“I haven’t begun apologising yet,” he said, abruptly solemn, and the tension left your body so quickly you almost tipped over again. You weren’t angry with him. Maybe you should’ve been. He had acted like a prat, but at the end of the day, the last thing he’d said to you (shouted at you, whatever) was that he wanted you to be happy.
What would make you happy was for him to be happy again.
“Sirius, you don’t need to–”
“I do and shall, but first – fancy a spin?”
He raised his eyebrows at you hopefully, and you smiled.
“Please tell me Black isn’t somehow floating outside our window right now,” Lily’s groggy voice came from across the room.
“You did tell him to keep off the stairs…”
Sirius laughed, and your smile widened at the sound of it.
“Give that a go,” he said, gesturing to the Whizzbee. “I don’t want you trying to drop straight off the edge.”
“Please tell me you’re not about to climb out a window over a hundred feet in the air!” Lily said, her pitch and volume rising with every word.
“Course I’m not, you’re dreaming,” you said clumsily around the large sweet in your mouth, scooting to the edge of the sill and dangling your legs out the window. You felt like you were the one dreaming as your bum suddenly lifted a few inches off the stone beneath you and Sirius took hold of your wrist, smoothly guiding your hovering form across the sheer drop and over to his broom. You put a hand on his shoulder, discarding the Whizzbee and settling lightly onto the broomstick behind him.
The natural thing, of course, would’ve been to wrap your arms around his middle, but you couldn’t seem to make yourself do it, awkwardly clutching the bottom of his T-shirt instead and shifting slightly backwards to widen the gap between you. Sirius swivelled his head, side-eyeing you amusedly, and you looked up, pretending to admire the stars.
That was your first mistake.
Without warning, Sirius dropped the nose of the broom, sending it plummeting into a downward dive. You could’ve sworn you’d screamed, but the corresponding sound never came as all air was ripped from your lungs by the sudden fall. Your stomach, meanwhile, felt like it’d been left on the swiftly retreating windowsill.
Survival instincts shoved inner turmoil out of the way. You flung your arms around him, clamping your hands tightly over his stomach and flattening yourself against his back. Your eyes were watering so that you could barely see, and you sputtered as you tried to extricate strands of Sirius’s wildly flapping hair from your mouth.
At that, he pulled the broomstick out of its dive, levelling off about 15 feet above the ground and pausing there. You could feel his body shaking with silent laughter as you released your grip on him to exasperatedly shove his hair down the back of his shirt. You wanted to call him any number of names, cuff him on the back of the head, kick him in the ankle.
But you found those options all paled in comparison to how much you wanted to wrap your arms around him again and let him go on laughing forever.
He glanced back tentatively, apparently expecting one of the more violent reactions. You gave him your brightest smile instead.
“Thought we were going for a spin?”
Sirius beamed, and your heart leapt at the mirthful glint in his eyes. It had been missing for so long.
“As you wish.”
The broom shot upwards, rocketing high above the castle before Sirius turned abruptly, launching the two of you into a series of loops and barrel rolls that had you shrieking with joy. The waning moon resembled a bouncing ball in the sky as your perspective cycled rapidly between right-side up and upside down, and your head was unquestionably spinning by the time he evened his flight path.
As he flew smoothly but with electrifying speed above the grounds, you relaxed your arms into a comfortable hold around his waist and rested your chin on his shoulder, letting the wind engulf you in the stormy scent of him. He navigated the castle’s turrets in precise figure-eights, made a brief game of taunting the Whomping Willow, and took a few turns around the Quidditch pitch before sailing low over the Black Lake.
Sirius slowed, and you watched as the reflected sky transformed the lake’s surface into a fluid canvas of stars. You were trying quite hard to put out of your mind that this was exactly what you’d imagined doing if the two of you had ever gone on a date when he brought the broom to a halt. He slung his leg over, sitting on the broomstick like a swing, feet dangling over the dark water, and you followed suit. You sat in silence for a moment, watching the occasional ripple send a shiver through the stars, but the silence was loaded and you needed to break it. Being uncomfortable around Sirius was unnatural. And it hurt.
“Know what I love about watching the water move in the lake? It could be the squid, or a grindylow, or even a merperson. But it could also just be a fish. A perfectly boring, non-magical fish. And if it’s just a fish, then I get to be just a girl for a moment. Nothing else.”
“Just a girl… levitating above a lake on a broom.”
You smirked at him, and he nudged you with his shoulder.
“Only winding you up. I know exactly what you mean. If I were just a boy, I’d only have to listen to Walburga’s gaping gob on holidays. She wouldn’t have the option to pop it in the post.”
He snorted humourlessly, and you found yourself modifying your instincts again. In some other time that seemed bizarrely much further away than just a month or so ago, you’d have taken his hand or put your arm around him. As it was, you leant against him lightly, hoping that was encouragement enough for him to go on. He sighed and slid a hand through his hair.
“She threatened me. Again. Which means she’s still invested enough in this parent thing to care what other people think of me. I’ll need to up my ‘blight upon the family legacy’ game. Suggestions?”
“Hmm. You could always join the VSO. Just become even more of a disgustingly worthwhile human being.”
He chuckled quietly, and you waited. Walburga threatening Sirius was old hat. There was something else bothering him.
“Seems as if darling Regulus has also taken to spying for them. I’m sure that’ll earn him a pat on the head and an extra chestnut at Crimbo.”
“What did he tell them?”
You felt him tense and glanced over.
“He’s somehow heard about… well, that there’s… a girl.”
His tone shifted to discomfort as he spoke, and you were having trouble deciding what to make of it. He certainly hadn’t been shy about his love life last night. One thing you did know, however, was that you weren’t prepared to let your lingering feelings for him drive a wedge between you. Even now, just sitting here beside him after a late-night joyride, you felt the full force of how much you’d missed him.
“Rotten little blighter. And why does he care all of a sudden? If you’re the sort to listen to rumours, you’ve gone out with everyone from Marlene to Madam Rosmerta.”
“I started that last one,” Sirius said conspiratorially, leaning forwards to watch your expression. It was something he’d done since first year. Always waiting eagerly to see if you smiled or laughed at his jokes, looking pleased with himself when you did. You didn’t disappoint him, and he kept his eyes fixed on yours as he continued.
“I’m really sorry about last night, Y/N.”
“So am I.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“I was shouting just as loudly as you. Though in fairness, you did win the blowing-things-up contest I wasn’t aware we were having.”
“You were only shouting because I was acting like a complete bellend. And being pissed is no excuse. None. I don’t know what… I just wasn’t…”
He looked out across the lake, blinking in frustration as he tried to find the words he wanted. You didn’t like that it was a struggle. He should be able to talk to you about anything, without a second thought. Including this girl.
“Sirius, I haven’t said that I’m happy for you, and I should’ve done from the very first. Because I am. I’m glad you’ve found someone special. I’m glad you’re having fun. Nobody deserves it more than you.”
“I can think of two people offhand: you and Moony. And I’m happy things went well last night. I swear I am.”
The silence was lighter this time, and after a few moments, Sirius produced his wand, waving it towards the latest ripple in the lake. A few golden sparks drifted over the surface, and as they descended, a small fish jumped out of the water, mistaking them for food. Sirius smiled at you.
“Just a fish,” you smiled back.
“Just a fish. But I’m sorry to have to inform you that you’ll never be just a girl. Not to me.”
In your head, you tumbled off your perch into the lake, where you would live out your days with the merpeople, far away from your feelings. In reality, you tightened your grip on the broomstick to prevent that from happening whilst forcing yourself to maintain eye contact. He was speaking to you as a friend. Just a friend.
“But since there’s something extraordinary about being ordinary around here, let’s make a pact: You can always be just a girl with me, and I can always be just a boy with you?”
You wanted to tell him how very much that simple offer meant to you, but you didn’t trust your voice. You nodded instead, then watched as his momentary calm gave way to something much more troubling. He looked defeated. It was a look you’d never seen on his face before, and it frightened you.
“Tell me,” you said quietly. There was no hesitation this time.
“It’s getting worse. It’s getting so much worse, and I don’t think it’s going to stop. Last summer, it was just locking me in my room for the day, sending me to bed without dinner because of the posters on my wall. I’d give her cheek, she’d do her screaming bit, I’d pop off to Prongs’s for a weekend. But this summer, she didn’t just lock me in my room. She’d put a body-bind on me first. One night, she had Kreacher cast Levicorpus on me, left me hanging in the corner until I was all but unconscious. And bog-standard screaming isn’t good enough anymore – she uses the fucking stinging jinx as exclamation marks.”
You’d gone entirely cold, but you didn’t interrupt. He needed someone to know. A part of you felt like you could literally dissolve into tears, but you didn’t do that either. You needed him to know that you could handle hearing this. Because you had a sinking feeling he was right – it wasn’t going to stop on its own. And if he went silent about it again, you wouldn’t know when it was time to take matters into your own hands and make it stop.
“It feels different in there,” he continued, his voice pensive now. “Tense, heavy, like the entire foul place is waiting for something. Before, they were perfectly chuffed to be shot of me; now, they don’t always let me leave. It’s like they’re trying to… break me. So the question is, why do they need me broken? And how far are they willing to go to–”
He gave you a pleading look.
“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you, right?” he asked suddenly. “Including letting anyone else hurt you.”
“Of course, love,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. You’d only thoughtyour head was spinning before. But of all the emotions assailing you right now, the one missing was surprise. If Peter’s parents were suspect, Sirius’s may as well be lunching with Voldemort at Rules.
“She said that if I took up with any girl they didn’t approve of… well, I didn’t let her finish saying what she’d do, but I can’t really think of a good end to that sentence. So you understand, yeah? You understand why I can’t–”
Why he couldn’t be more open about his relationship. You understood, and you felt more terrible than ever that you’d been avoiding him.
“I don’t care what happens to me. But if something were to happen to someone I care about because they finally realised that would hurt more than anything they could do to me…”
“Sirius, if anyone in your family ever tried to hurt someone you care about, it’d be naught to do with you. You being good is not what makes them bad. These people, these Death Eaters – they want to hurt all of us. Full stop. If we’re not with them, we’re against them, and they don’t need another reason. But don’t you ever forget that there are people who do care what happens to you. Please don’t go through this alone… that hurts me more than anything.”
You could see the moonlight shimmering silver in his eyes, and you knew one blink would send tears spilling down your cheeks as well. Bloody hell, weren’t the two of you smiling just five minutes ago?
“Sirius,” you said with as much solemnity as you could muster. “Let me hate your parents with you.”
He exhaled a relieved laugh as you held out your palm. You might be too namby-pamby to take his hand, but it was different if you left it up to him, right? He looked at your hand for a moment, then slid his beneath it, slowly curling his fingers and yours along with them until your closed hand was wrapped warmly in his.
“Nearly all my secrets,” he said softly. “Safe and sound.”
“Nearly all?” you managed. You felt like your insides had melted.
“Well,” he winked, giving your hand a squeeze before releasing you and swinging his leg back over the broomstick. “A bloke’s got to have a little mystery to him.”
You pulled your leg back over the broom, and when you wrapped your arms around him this time, there was no mistaking it for self-preservation. Pressing your cheek against his shoulder blade, you hugged him as tightly as you could, wishing you knew how to keep him safe. He relaxed against you, resting his left arm on yours as he guided the broom above the forest.
You could tell he was heading for the ruins and caught a faint whiff of wood smoke as he wove through the branches. Behind the crumbling stone structure, a small fire came into view, Remus, James and Peter gathered round it.
“Moony reckoned we all needed to let off a bit of steam,” Sirius said as he came in for a landing, helping you off the broom before propping it against some rubble. “And Prongs reckoned we needed to let it off without firewhisky,” he added, scowling at James as he freed his hair from his shirt.
“Yes, how terribly unreasonable of Prongs, considering we’ve established what a right ray of sunshine you are when you’re on the hard stuff,” James challenged, pointing at a rock onto which Sirius dropped sulkily.
“Knob.”
“Prick.”
“Langer.”
“Cockwomble.”
“Don’t you just love it when the family’s all together?” Remus asked cheerfully.
You grinned as you sat down beside him. He still looked peaky, of course – the usual aftereffects. He was paler than normal, which accentuated the dark circles under his eyes, and he moved slowly and a bit stiffly due to the lingering soreness. But he was in much better spirits than he’d ever been so soon after the moon.
As you studied him, he reached into his jacket and removed the Dairy Milk wrapper, placing it on your knee and watching as you opened it to the sound of James and Sirius’s continued sniping.
“Why, Remus… you’ve saved me exactly one square of chocolate.”
“Thelast square of chocolate! You know how big a sacrifice that is for me.”
“I do. I also know that you know that if I were to pick up that last square of chocolate and even pretend I intended to eat it, you’d start in with the puppy-dog eyes and I’d give it straight back to you.”
“Yes, but it’s the thought that counts,” he smiled, snapping up the chocolate. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek and counted his furious blushing as sufficient payback.
“Just have a fucking butterbeer and shut it!!” James bellowed at Sirius, flinging a bottle at him before turning and offering one to you like a suddenly well-mannered sommelier.
“And for the lady, a charming little vintage and our finest twig.”
You accepted the butterbeer and the stick he also extended.
“I know he’s being stroppy right now, but I’ll not have a hand in beating him.”
“Cheers!” Sirius nodded, raising his already-two-thirds-depleted butterbeer in your direction.
“Nah, we’ve got marshmallows. Loads of them!” Peter said, tossing you a packet. You skewered a few and handed it off to Remus, and the five of you settled into chit-chat as you toasted and ate your treats. You were trying your best to relax and enjoy the moment, but in the back of your mind, you were mulling.
Apart from the blushing, which was just involuntary Remus, there was no awkwardness between the two of you. Not even after last night. So… maybe it was a sign. Perhaps you’d been wrong and what you really needed was a nice, safe, predictable relationship. What was the harm in comfortable? Jumpers, blankets, books, tea… people liked this stuff for a reason, for Godric’s sake. Yes, you’d fancied Sirius, but he didn’t fancy you back, and that was that. The two of you were in a good place again and you were glad of it, but it was high time you gave your full attention to the boy who seemed to want it.
“Marshmallow for your thoughts?”
You plucked a browned marshmallow off Remus’s twig and chewed as the two of you watched James and Sirius attempting to talk Peter into eating a still-flaming one.
“Just tidying my head is all.”
“You and Padfoot alright?”
“We are. I should’ve just ignored him last night. I don’t know why I didn’t.”
“You’re allowed to have your fill every now and then. We can’t get overfond of him; it’ll just go to his head.”
You smiled. “This is lovely, by the way. Thanks for thinking of it.”
“It was actually something you said. Or wrote. That it would all run its course eventually. So it can just run its course now and have done with it instead. And I reckon the forest makes a pretty good course.”
You started to ask what he meant but were interrupted by a yelp of pain from Peter and a cheer from James and Sirius.
“Wormtail, you have got to learn to say no, mate,” Remus sighed, motioning to James, who stood and cleared his throat loudly.
“Firstly, I think a toast to Moony’s health is in order. Normally, he’d still be in hospital right now. Yet here he sits, his furry little problem reduced to a furry little inconvenience.”
“To Remus!” you all cheered, raising your drinks.
He raised his in return, looking around at the four of you.
“And to the best mates a lad could ask for. Never dreamt I’d have friends at all, much less friends who’d be willing to do what you lot have done for me. Thank you.”
That hung in the air for a moment before a loud crash somewhere in the forest sent a startled flock of crows into the night sky.
“Alright, I’ve no interest in being emotional while I’m eaten by an acromantula,” James resumed quickly. “Down to the point, fifth year’s been a bit of a roller coaster up to now, but there’s nothing we can’t handle so long as we stick together. Things are changing, yeah, but we’re an adaptable bunch of miscreants. And on that subject, Y/N, three-quarters of us haven’t yet had the pleasure.”
“Of?” you asked, and you must’ve looked as shocked as you felt because Remus choked on his butterbeer.
“No, no, he doesn’t mean 'of going out with you’. I suggested we come out here tonight to have a good run through the forest. And Sirius is the only one who’s seen your animagus form.”
“Right, so go on then!” James urged excitedly.
“Well I’m not shifting with you wallies just stood here staring at me!”
“We’ll turn round,” Remus said, standing and moving between you and the others. “Turn,” he ordered, and they begrudgingly complied. You took a deep breath and focused, feeling yourself sinking into your form.
You opened your eyes to find yourself staring at Remus’s legs. Extending your long neck, you nipped at the hem of his trousers and he spun, his face positively lighting up at the sight of you. If you weren’t currently a swan, you’d have been grinning from ear to ear; he looked like a child who’d just received his first puppy. As it was, you honked softly as he ran his hand over the feathers on your neck, which prompted the others to turn.
“Blimey, that’s brilliant,” James exhaled as he and Peter also reached out to stroke your feathers. You suddenly felt a bit shy. You didn’t blame them for being interested, of course – you’d been fascinated the first time you saw them shift as well. But unlike them, you weren’t quite accustomed yet to being an animal. Especially not around people.
Sirius had stayed back, watching you, but he stepped forward now.
“Alright, hands off, you all bloody well know she belongs to the Queen,” he said, shooing the lads. You honked a laugh and he shot you a wink that seemed to say he’d somehow sensed your discomfort.
“Off we go?” He tossed a marshmallow into the air, then shifted in time to catch it in his mouth.
“Show-off,” James grumbled as his and Peter’s bodies melted away in opposite directions.
“Looks positively delightful when you lot do it,” Remus grinned. Sirius whined and propped his chin on Remus’s leg. “I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself,” Remus said, ruffling the fur on Padfoot’s head. “Well, except that I wish I could go with, but I’m in no shape to run.”
James snorted and began gesturing backwards with his antlers.
“I’ll be fine here,” Remus insisted.
James raised a back hoof and began hopping about on the other three as he scratched at his side.
“What is it, Prancer? Got ticks, have you?”
As a series of honks, barks and squeaks replaced laughter, James suddenly appeared in the stag’s place. The whole animagus thing really was utterly bizarre.
“Climb on, you berk, I was clearly telling you to climb on my back!”
“Well, forgive me if I’m a bit rusty on my Deer Charades, seeing as it’s been approximately never since I’ve played. And you don’t have to do that, Prongs. I’ll only slow you down.”
“Give me some credit, son, I’m a bloody majestic king of the forest.”
It actually worked like a charm. James was the size of an enormous horse in stag form, and Remus was easily able to hold onto his antlers as the five of you sped through the forest.
You felt freer than you had in ages. You alternated between flying high above the trees – slowly beginning to feel as if you belonged halfway between the sky and the earth as you continued to adjust to your form – and low amidst the others, delighting in simply being young, wild and dissident with your mates. It was at times like this that you always felt you and the Marauders were getting far more out of your time at Hogwarts than the students sleeping safely in the castle.
You eventually made your way back to the ruins, exhausted but decidedly tension-free. The fire was nearly out, and James doused it for good with what was left of the last butterbeer.
“Wait for me by the greenhouses,” Sirius instructed the lads as he hopped back onto his broom, hovering low as he waited for you to say your goodbyes and join him.
“Straight home, madam?” he asked once you were in the air.
“Eh, once around the pitch first, Jeeves.”
He grinned back at you and took off at a lazy pace that made you feel as if you were being rocked to sleep. There were a million things you could have been thinking about at that moment, but in your ultra-relaxed state, one thought in particular popped into your head and subsequently out of your mouth.
“How did you know I was uncomfortable? When they were gathered round me after I shifted?”
“We tend to be on the same wavelength about most things,” he said without hesitation, circling the Slytherin stands. Without exchanging so much as a glance, the two of you drew your wands and fired off spells, yours at the flag on top and his at a green-and-silver banner hanging from the front. You laughed as the flag transformed into a fabric snake, flapping about limply with large Xs where its eyes should be, and the banner suddenly read, “Ssstay ssslimy, Sssnivellus”.
“Case in point!” he gestured. “Anyway, my animagus form’s a bit more socially acceptable than the others. Prongs strays too far in that posh neighbourhood of his and he’s liable to get shot at by some Lord or another’s hunting party. And Wormtail couldn’t exactly go strolling about either without people and cats trying to put an end to him. But man’s best friend is free to jog about where he pleases, so I’ve done a lot of it in Islington. It’s a good way to stay out of the house. And while you get used to it eventually, in the beginning I felt like a fucking idiot every time I got patted on the head and told I was a good boy.”
You buried your face in his shoulder, shaking with laughter at the mental image, and he joined you.
“Now I think on it, I should’ve been flattered. I don’t get that kind of affirmation at home.”
You laughed harder as he rounded the final set of stands and headed back towards the castle.
“You’ll have to come round during holidays, we’ll do a turn around the borough,” he said as he pulled even with your open window. “Black dog and black swan, out on the town.”
“And we won’t lack for snacks, seeing as people will be tossing bread at me whilst they’re patting you,” you added, prompting another fit of laughter.
“What in God’s name are the two of you doing out there?!” Lily’s “past the point of fed up” voice demanded.
“Ah, Gryffindor’s resident killjoy awaits,” Sirius said in his “purposefully too loud” voice, digging about in his robes. “Don’t reckon I envy you going back in there.”
“It was worth it,” you said, leaning forwards to give him a peck on the back of his jaw. You decided to tell yourself you’d imagined it when you felt a shiver go through his body.
He cleared his throat as he turned to hand you another Whizzbee, then held onto your wrist again as you manoeuvred yourself onto the sill. As you dropped the Whizzbee, he pressed a quick peck of his own to your hand.
“Don’t get too close to the edge!” he called as he turned the broom towards the greenhouses.
“Bit late for that,” you sighed as you watched him disappear into the darkness.
I had intended to keep banging away at this part, but then I checked the word count and oh my giddy aunt… somewhere in the neighbourhood of 9,000?! lol So I found us a pausing point.
My loves, thank you so much for your reading, your sweet comments, and your general brilliance as human beings. Let me know what you think and whose team you’re on! lol
You tilted your head towards the space between your curtains and the bedpost closest to the window, taking in a slow, deep breath of cleansing air. Lily had opened the window before she, Marlene and Emmeline left the room, knowing the rain would soothe you.
They hadn’t tried to speak to you, and you were grateful for that. You weren’t in the mood to chatter cheerfully about your date with Remus, and it wouldn’t have been fair to do anything less. You really did have a nice time. You also weren’t in the mood to explain the shouting match with Sirius. And you already knew what Lily would say: Sirius’s behaviour wouldn’t have wounded you so deeply if you didn’t still have feelings for him.
The low rumble of rolling thunder gave you something else to focus on, and you closed your eyes, shivering a bit and pulling your blanket over your bare legs as a particularly cool blast of air wafted through. You’d kicked your jeans off hours ago but hadn’t bothered getting all the way into bed.
The door to the dorm opened and closed. Someone must have forgotten something. You waited quietly for the sound of them letting themselves back out, but after a few minutes of silence, you wondered if you were just hearing things. Though it didn’t feel like you were alone in the room…
“Hello?”
“Does Evans really sleep with this old stuffed bunny? Because that’s almost impossibly cute.”
“James! What the hell are you doing in here?”
“Came to talk to you, of course. Dear Godric… did you know every quill in this drawer is placed at the exact same angle? Probably had a protractor out and all just to make sure–”
“I’m sorry, did you say you came to talk to me or to completely invade Lily’s privacy?”
You heard Lily’s drawer close.
“You can’t blame a bloke for having a peek, can you? Now. Are you coming out or am I coming in?”
“You’re coming in. If the girls find you in here, they’ll go absolutely spare. Toss me my pyjama bottoms first, will you? They’re on the chair.”
You shook your head and smiled as your pyjamas came marching through the gap in your curtains, turning and standing at attention in front of you. You were glad James was here.
After slipping them on, you lifted the curtain and he dove onto your bed.
“Bloody hell, remember when all five of us could fit on here?” he asked as the two of you settled back against your pillows, James’s feet touching the end of the bed. When Sirius had first sussed out the girls’ stairs, the lads got a kick out of sleeping in your room from time to time, just because they could. You’d gotten quite adept quite quickly at silencing charms in your panic to ensure the girls wouldn’t hear the five of you giggling and playing Exploding Snap until dozing off in a huddle.
You nodded. “Wish I could go back to that place.”
James kissed your temple. “I know, love. So do I sometimes. We woke, we ate, we pranked, we ate and pranked some more, and in between, you and Moony did our homework.”
You snorted but felt a real pang at the thought of simpler times, the laughter of five happy kids playing hide-and-seek in the greenhouses long after they should’ve been in bed echoing through your memory. It’s not that you were against change. You just wished it would slow down a little and uncomplicate itself a lot.
“But here we all are, older, wiser, insanely more attractive,” James continued, “and I can’t beat around the belladonna with you anymore, darling: Are you in love with Sirius?”
You felt like you should’ve been taken aback by the directness of his question, but suddenly, you just didn’t see the point in being shocked or embarrassed or nervous anymore. Perhaps you’d grown up a bit further still in the last few seconds, head on your brother’s shoulder as you both listened to the rain. If you had to grow up, there were worse ways to do it.
“I was. I’m trying not to be now, considering he’s made it clear he’s not interested.”
“Has he, though?”
“I can only believe what he tells me, James. If I tried to guess what else was going on in his head, I’d go mad. I can’t read him like you can.”
James smiled. “You sell yourself short. But you’re right about one thing: We can’t have you going mad along with him. One stark-raving lunatic is quite enough. So what can I do to make this easier on you?”
A few moments of silence hung in the air before you interrupted with a quiet sigh, rolling onto your side and hugging James’s arm.
“Does she make him happy? This girl?”
“I really couldn’t say. He’s been out with her several times now, but he still won’t talk about her.”
“I feel like I’ve failed him. I saw how miserable he looked at King’s Cross, and I swore I was going to be there for him. Instead, I feel like I’m making things worse somehow. So I hope that, whoever she is, she’s doing what I can’t anymore.”
“Don’t say that. You know how much you mean to Sirius, Y/N. The worse things get for him at home, the harder he fights us, but that’s just Sirius and his pride. We’re always going to need each other. If in the distant future Evans ever figures out I’m a lot fucking cuddlier than that old rabbit over there, she’s just going to have to understand that there will be times I’ll want to go find my sister and climb into bed for a chat. And your future husband will have to understand too because I’ll need him to bunch over.”
You laughed at the mental image, knowing James wasn’t even partially joking.
“The point is, don’t give up on Sirius just because he’s being a temperamental git right now. No one, most especially not some girl he just met, knows him like us. When the time comes that he admits he needs help out of the pit, we’ll be the line and you’ll be the light. Just like always.”
James’s words actually made you feel a bit better. Made it feel less like you were losing Sirius.
“As for Moony…”
You released James’s arm and fell onto your back, hands over your face.
“Oh, no. I’ve been in here moping half the day, what if he thinks I was avoiding him?”
“Weren’t you?” James laughed.
“No! But sort of… I was avoiding my feelings, yeah, but not him.”
“Personally, I can’t blame you – I’d avoid any bugger who alluded to a good snogging and then reneged,” James said, yelping as you pinched his side.
“Have you answered that question you had last night yet?” he asked, clamping his hand over yours to prevent further injury.
“I’ve been thinking about it all day, and–”
“And there’s your problem. You and Remus are thinkers. Overthinkers, if you ask me. Stop thinking for once in your life and just let your feelings take over. See what feels natural in the moment. And then bloody well do that.”
“Bless your straightforward soul, James Potter,” you breathed. You suddenly had an idea that would keep Remus from taking your Sunday in bed as a sign that you hadn’t enjoyed your Saturday.
“Somebodyhas to stay drama-free around here,” James said dramatically.
“Yes, well done you, now get up and let’s get out of here before Lily sees you.”
“Evans knows I’m in here,” James said with a grin as he rolled off your bed. “I told her I wanted to talk to you first.”
You raised a brow at him. “Lily Evans found out that you know how to take the enchantment off the girls’ stairs and you lived to tell about it?”
“I did indeed,” he answered proudly. “I mean, I ran up the stairs first before she could get her wand out. But then I confidently turned round and without a hint of fear told her that it was all Padfoot’s fault.”
“Well, hopefully he steers clear of her for the rest of the day then,” you said, removing a Dairy Milk bar from your trunk – the last of your stash of muggle chocolate from the summer – and heading for the door.
“I’m sure he will. Especially after they’ve had their talk. Also my idea.”
That stopped you in your tracks.
“You sent Lily to talk to Sirius? James, she despises him. Have you heard the things she calls him? She’ll have him for lunch.”
“With a side of chips, I hope. And if we’re lucky, he’ll be better for it on the other side.”
Lily paused at the door to the Marauders’ room, gulping down a few deep breaths. She’d lied to Potter. She wasfrightened.
The Sirius Black she’d encountered when she first arrived at Hogwarts was nothing but a conceited brat. The perfect partner in crime for Potter. They constantly disrupted classes, cost Gryffindor points, and when they also decided to make Severus a primary target of some of their meaner-spirited pranks, she’d written them off completely. She had no use for bullies.
But over the years, she’d made enough peace with them to be on semi-civil speaking terms when she had to be – more for your benefit than hers or theirs. She’d reasoned that if you (a genuinely good person, despite your own disrespect for the rules) saw something redeeming in them, she would be a good friend and look the other way when the five of you got up to your nonsense. She’d made clear to you, though, that she reserved the right to treat Potter however she saw fit when he began putting on that he fancied her. She knew the arse was mocking her. She just couldn’t work out why he hadn’t tired of it yet.
Lily had also given Potter, Black and Pettigrew credit where credit was due when she’d worked out that Remus was a werewolf in fourth year. They’d not only kept their friend’s secret, they’d taken pains to try to make things easier for him – pains even greater than she’d originally thought, now she knew about the animagi endeavour.
But whereas Potter and Black were still the obnoxious berks they’d always been, Black had grown to be dangerous as well, as she’d tried to tell you on multiple occasions. He was reckless and quick-tempered – a terrible combination – and when he flew off the handle, as he seemed to do more and more these days, the repercussions were increasingly dire.
She’d learned things about his family, both from you and her own research into wizarding world history, and while she gathered (especially from his sorting into Gryffindor) that he made an effort to be the exception to every House of Black rule, his behaviour often made her wonder whether or not he could escape the history of insanity, even if he wanted to.
She glanced longingly at the door to the stairs, wishing she could back out, but there was no way she was giving Potter the satisfaction. With one final deep breath, she quietly turned the doorknob.
The room was darker than Lily expected, what with the storm clouds and the fact that neither the stove nor any of the lamps were lit. She closed the door and leaned against it, waiting for her eyes to adjust.
Wrinkling her nose at the smell of boy, she watched as the beds to her left and right slowly sharpened into focus. The latter was in complete disarray. There were more blankets, sheets and pillows on the floor than on the bed. Books, parchments and sweet wrappers were scattered across every surface, and a Gryffindor robe hung half in, half out of its owner’s trunk. She peered at a photograph on the table. An incredibly unpleasant-looking man and woman stood on either side of a young boy, who started to smile for the picture before a look of fear melted over his face instead as the man dug his fingers into the boy’s shoulder. Lily of course recognised Pettigrew but recognised his parents as well – she’d seen them in the Prophet over the summer, photographed leaving the Ministry after questioning for suspected Death Eater activity. She shuddered and turned her attention to the space on her left.
Neat as a pin, and Lily smiled softly. Remus. He was the only Marauder she counted as a friend, and she’d been devastated when she discovered his condition. For someone so gentle and calm to have to suffer such brutality and chaos month after month simply wasn’t fair. Everything was in its place on and around Remus’s bed, and she moved a bit closer to get a look at the photos atop his chest of drawers. In one, a very small Remus ran cheerfully along the bank of a river, a smiling man and woman following behind him, hand in hand. In another, the same woman sat on the bonnet of a car, a stylish scarf around her head and her pretty face frozen mid-laugh. A muggle photo. Lily felt a wave of sympathy for the woman, imagining what it must have been like to discover the wonders of the wizarding world, only to have her son permanently scarred by it.
Lily moved further into the room, convinced now that it was empty. Both Black’s and Potter’s beds were a rumpled mess, which wasn’t a surprise. She was surprised, however, to see a book on Black’s bedside table; she hadn’t figured him for a casual reader. Or a reader at all, frankly… he seemed to do nothing in the way of revising or even paying attention during lessons but still had high marks in all their classes. Yet another thing about him that annoyed her. She also noticed that he was the only Marauder without personal photos on display. Instead, what looked like two pages torn from a magazine and enlarged were tacked to the wall beside his bed, one featuring a silver-and-black motorbike, the other a grey sports car, its chrome gleaming.
She’d known Potter’s domain as soon as she saw it, tipped off by the Quidditch paraphernalia literally coating the wall. Gryffindor banners and jerseys mingled with Puddlemere United posters and programmes. Mixed in were bits of parchment on which he’d scrawled out strategies, jotted down notes, and formulated training regimens. Not fully conscious of the fact she was doing it, Lily sat down on the edge of the boy’s bed to get a better look. Quidditch was ridiculous, of course… senseless violence masquerading as sport. But she had to concede – grudgingly – that his apparent work ethic was impressive. She just wished he’d apply it to something constructive.
Lily picked up the framed photo on Potter’s table. A what looked to be 6- or 7-year-old James pulled a face at her before adopting the mischievous grin with which she was familiar. Behind him, his parents – quite a bit older than hers – shook their heads fondly at his antics before giving one another a loving glance and smiling for the photographer. They looked to be thoroughly pleasant people, warmth in their eyes and smiles, and Lily herself smiled absently at the sight of the clearly happy family. Potter was so cocky; she’d always just assumed he inherited his arrogance. Perhaps he was just a bit overindulged by two people who’d waited longer than most for a child. And perhaps the rest was false bravado.
She placed the photo back on the table and had the sudden urge to see what was in the drawer. No one could blame a girl for having a peek, right?
“Is it common practice for prefects to snoop through everyone’s belongings when they’re not around? Because I’ll want to hide a few things better in future…”
Lily slammed Potter’s drawer shut and leapt to her feet, clamping a hand over her mouth to muffle a small scream. Black’s head now rose slightly above the pile of blankets and pillows that had previously concealed it.
“You scared the life out of me, you arsehole.”
“Not to split hairs here, Evans, but I’m not the one breaking and entering.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. Nor am I snooping through everyone’s belongings.”
“So just snooping through James’s specifically then. Noted.”
Lily clenched her fists, debating whether or not to just leave. How in the hell was she supposed to have a meaningful conversation with this antagonistic prat? Then she thought about you. If there was a chance this could help, she had to try.
“I’m actually here to speak with you,” she said, edging closer to Black’s bed and attempting to adopt a polite tone. It came out rather stiff instead, but it was going to be the best she could do. “I was hoping we could discuss a few things.”
Black’s head dropped back onto his bed and out of sight.
“Not up for it, sorry.”
“Ireally need to have a word with you about–”
“Look, Evans, I had a rough night. So whatever school rules or Gryffindor codes of conduct or girls you’ve heard I violated, could you just make a list, send me an owl, and I’ll atone for it later?”
Lily jumped as a loud tapping sounded at the window near Black’s bed.
“That was quick,” he mused.
The tapping increased in volume and insistence until it seemed as if a full-grown man were outside beating on the window.
“MyGod, are you sure that’s an owl?” Lily asked nervously.
“That’ll be Nobilis,” Black said. His voice was hollow and weary. “He’ll break it eventually, you might want to step back.”
Lily made the snap decision that she didn’t really want to see that happen, steeling herself as she stepped towards the window.
“The bird bites,” Black warned.
Lily lifted the latch and pushed the window open before scurrying out of pecking range. The largest eagle-owl she’d ever seen proceeded to step onto the sill like a king onto his dais. Shaking the rain from his feathers indignantly, Nobilis ascended to the top of Black’s table with one flap of his wings before dropping a red envelope onto its surface with an air of disdain. He dropped back onto the sill, fixing his piercing eyes on Lily, who previously would not have thought it possible to feel judged by an owl. She took another tentative step backwards.
“Piss off, you buzzard,” Black muttered, and a jet of sparks shot from his bed, connecting with Nobilis’s tail. The owl let out a furious screech but mercifully ducked out the window, and Lily rushed to latch it before Nobilis could change his mind. She turned slowly, eyeing the Howler on the table.
“Last chance to leave.”
“I really do need to speak with you,” Lily said, her voice barely above a whisper. A chill was creeping up her spine the longer she looked at the Howler. It was as if the thing were somehow radiating menace, but she was determined to accomplish what she came here for.
“Suit yourself.”
Black slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, back against the wall behind his bed. He was shirtless, and Lily quickly directed her attention to her shoes. She glanced back up, however, when he raised his arm and watched as he flicked a finger at the Howler, which sailed into the air above the stove in the centre of the room. With a wave of his hand, Black broke the seal on the envelope, and Lily stumbled backwards into his chest of drawers as a shrill voice rose from the Howler’s mouth. It was possibly the most hateful sound she’d ever heard.
“For the second time this term, I have been forced to lay hands on a letter from that half-blood, muggle-loving filth Minerva McGonagall,” the woman’s voice spat. “I would have assumed that I made plain over the summer that you are not to give Albus Dumbledore’s menagerie of dross reason to address me as if you are any sort of reflection upon my ability to rear children. I recommend you adjust your behaviour accordingly. If I have to speak again on this matter, you will regret that you did not listen the first time.”
Lily was stunned by the level of contempt in the woman’s voice. This was someone’s mother? She looked over at Black. His face was entirely expressionless as he watched the Howler.
“You should also know that your father and I have been made aware that you have taken up with a girl. Hear me, Sirius: It may not have been within our power to reverse the shame of your placement outside Slytherin House, but if we discover this girl to be of questionable stock, or worse, a mudbl–”
Black’s arm flew up so fast it was nothing but a blur in Lily’s peripheral vision. He had his wand in hand this time and thrust it forward violently; it looked as if he were trying to run the Howler through with a broadsword. Instead, the Howler exploded, sending hundreds of tiny bits of charred parchment and envelope fluttering through the air. With another halfhearted wave of his wand, the pieces were swept into a vortex before swirling through the open door of the stove. It slammed shut behind them, and suddenly, the room was silent except for the pleasant crackling of a fire that completely belied the horrible thing that kindled it.
“Well,” Black said flatly. “Isn’t this cosy.”
Lily hadn’t noticed until then that her hands were covering her mouth. As she lowered them, she realised they were shaking. Aside from being in shock, she felt extremely uncomfortable. What little she knew of Black she didn’t like, but now here she was, standing feet from the boy’s bed after having witnessed a very personal – not to mention terrifying – moment. Lily wasn’t accustomed to not knowing what to do, but even though it felt as if she had a brick lodged in her throat, she forced herself to say something.
“Black, I’m… I’m so sor–”
“Don’t be.”
His tone was clipped, and Lily wished she could just disappear from the room.
“I… erm… I apologise for… everything, for being here, for disturbing you, but if I could just talk to you for a moment, I promise I’ll make it fast and be on my way.”
Black scooted himself from the shadows into the light now afforded by the stove, and Lily did an abrupt half-spin, her cheeks reddening. She’d forgotten about the shirtless bit.
“I understand I’m the one intruding , but could you possibly put on a shirt?”
“Sure, but just so you know, there’s nothing on the other half either,” he said, grabbing his blankets as if to move them aside.
“Black, don’t you dare!” Lily shrieked, and the boy smirked.
“I’m joking, Evans, but I am down to my smalls. So in the interest of sparing you that trauma, you can toss me a shirt. They’re in the second drawer.”
Lily plucked a T-shirt out of the drawer and flung it his way.
“Bad Company. Nice choice. While you’re up, get me a quill and some parchment out of my trunk?”
She let out an annoyed huff as her usual irritation with him began overriding sympathy. Lily opened the trunk as Black shoved his arms through the sleeves of the shirt. She started to grab some parchment that was wedged into a flap on the inside of the lid but decided it was too thick a piece, all folded up like a map. As she pushed it back in place, a photo that must have been stuck to the lid behind it dropped onto the pile of stuff in the trunk. She picked it up to replace it, then froze. It was a photo of you.
You were standing in the Great Hall, wearing the clothes you’d had on yesterday for your date with Remus. Black must have taken it before you all gathered for the group shot. You gave him a bemused look once you noticed he’d taken the photo, but before that, it seemed like you’d already been watching him. And if Lily had to label your expression, “longing” would do it.
She quickly slid the photo back behind the large piece of parchment and snatched up a smaller sheet and a quill, closing the trunk and dropping the items onto the foot of Black’s bed. He paused with the shirt hanging from his shoulders and leaned forward, quickly scrawling something onto the parchment.
“In exchange for my silence regarding your keen interest in James’s personal space, kindly give him this when you leave and ask him to post it to my Uncle Alphard.”
“Blackmail? Really?”
“That’d be a pretty good pun if I thought you had a sense of humour.”
Lily rolled her eyes but bit her tongue as she yanked the parchment out of his hand. He began pulling his shirt over his head, and she decided the fact that he was being a complete wanker entitled her to read the note. Besides, he could’ve folded it if he really wanted to keep it private.
Is there any chance at all that Dad’s impotent and Reg and I are adopted?
She snorted in spite of herself, and Black winked at her as he pulled his hair through his shirt collar.
“A man can hope, Evans. So. Now that we’re all fit for company, what is it you need to discuss?”
Lily opened her mouth, then closed it as her mind went blank. It felt like hours ago that she’d walked through the door intending to give Black a good, stern talking to. But after hearing his mother in action, “stern” sounded like a day at the beach. An unhappy home life was still no excuse for him to mistreat you, but it dawned on her that while she’d definitely heard the two of you shouting at each other last night, she had no idea what had been shouted. Would you even want her chastising him on your behalf? Before she could work out how to begin, Black spoke.
“Guess who I always go to after I’ve gotten one of those things?” he asked, staring into the flames flickering in the stove. “Her.”
With that one word, the smugness and defiance were gone from his face. He looked like a lost child.
“I know you’re here about what happened last night. I’ve no excuses; I acted like a fucking idiot. But I’m a big boy, and I’ll make my own apologies later. If she’ll see me.”
He glanced up at Lily, his eyes turning that last into a question. He really did have lovely eyes.
“I’m sure she’ll see you,” she said quietly. She knew now what she needed to say to the boy. Because considering where things seemed to be heading with Severus, she needed to hear it herself.
“Sometimes friends are just passing through. We change, they change, circumstances change… whatever it is, we wake up one day and can’t find a reason to hold on anymore. And when that happens, the best thing we can do is just let go.”
Black’s eyes dropped, and Lily quickly continued.
“But sometimes we’re lucky enough to meet people we can feel in our bones are going to be with us forever. No matter what. They love us for who we are, and even when – maybe especially when – we feel like we don’t deserve it, they just love us more. The five of you have that. I’ve always sort of envied it, if I’m honest.”
He looked slightly hopeful but nowhere near heartened.
“Well, I can’t speak for the others, but friends mean very nearly everything when you’ve never had any. So I hope you’re right, Evans. Not that I deserve any more second chances.”
Lily’s chest tightened at that. It felt surreal hearing Black say something so personal; it felt even more surreal knowing that he was being sincere. There was always such a disingenuous air about him, like he was forever putting on a play. She couldn’t shake the sense that she’d dealt with two different people today: the Black she was accustomed to, always having a laugh at everyone else’s expense, and then this one, clinging to the family he’d chosen as he suffered at the hands of the one into which he was born.
“Of course you do,” she said, thinking that she might just give Sev another second chance as well. “Everyone does.”
“Everyoneworthsomething.”
“Now, you listen to me,” Lily said matter-of-factly. She’d finally found something to lecture him about. “You and I may have our differences, but you are not worthless. You’re worth quite a lot, in fact, to Y/N and you’d do well to think about that the next time you feel the urge to wake up the whole castle with your temper tantrums. God only knows what all the girls would do with themselves if you weren’t around to wink your stupid pretty eyes at them, you’ve helped Gryffindor win the Quidditch Cup for the past three years straight, and you have great taste in music. I’ll have you know that I am quite fond of Bad Company. You’ve gone above and beyond for Remus, you help Pettigrew in Potions – and if you didn’t, we’d probably all have been blown sky high by now – you’re nice to the firsties when you think no one’s looking, and from what I saw today, your skill levels are off the charts. You’re not even 16 and already using wandless magic. Howlers are supposed to be impossible to destroy before they’ve finished the job, but tell that to the one in the stove. You’re some sort of flipping magical prodigy, and believe me when I say that I find that infuriating, but there it is. So just… deal with all of that!”
The last bit came out as an agitated squeal, Lily having worked herself into a right state by that point. Breathing heavily, arms rigid at her sides, she silently dared Black to keep being morose. The chances of it seemed slim, considering the way he was gaping at her. After a few moments, he slowly closed his mouth, swallowing gingerly and blinking as if trying to convince himself he wasn’t hallucinating.
“I, erm…” he started finally. “I doubt you have to worry about me threatening your status as Star of the Slug Club.”
Lily sighed. Of course he wouldn’t know how to take a compliment.
“Speaking of, he asked me to try to get you to join again,” she said.
“I’d rather milk a murtlap.”
Lily couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of her throat, and she was stunned to see Black smile. Genuinely smile. This was truly one of the oddest days of her life thus far, and as a muggleborn witch, that was saying something.
“I’ll just… get out of your way now. I’ve taken up enough of your Sunday,” she said, moving for the door.
“Evans?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Black.”
“Oh, and Evans?”
“Yes?”
“I have honestly never heard anyone say they were ‘quite fond’ of Bad Company. Quite fond of… I dunno, Steely Dan, maybe, but Bad Company…”
“Shut it, Black,” Lily called, slamming the door behind her.
You and James had just stepped off the stairs into the common room when you heard a door close to your right. Turning, you saw Lily. She looked a bit shell-shocked and was holding a piece of parchment.
“You prepared a speech?” James asked.
“I wish,” Lily exhaled. Descending the stairs, she handed the parchment to James.
“He wants you to post this to… damn. Alfred?”
“Ah, yes. At the Batcave,” James quipped. Lily shot him a look that made clear to you she’d had enough Marauder humour for one day, and you lightly elbowed James.
“Alphard. His mother’s brother. Shockingly sane,” you explained as you joined James in reading the note.
“Shit, did something happen while you were in there?” James asked, looking at Lily with real concern.
She nodded. “He got a Howler…”
“Walburga?” You instinctively reached out and took Lily’s hand. Merlin knows what she’d heard.
“Walburga?” Lily grimaced. “Lovely name for a lovely woman.”
She squeezed your hand. “Anyway… he seems really sorry.”
“It’s fine, Lily. Already forgotten.” You tried your best to sound nonchalant. You were going to have to perfect that if you wanted to get over Sirius. Judging from Lily’s face, you needed more practise, but she let you off the hook.
“I have a Charms essay that needs doing before dinner,” she said, giving you a quick hug and heading for the stairs.
“Hey, where’s mine?” James called after her.
“You can hug Y/N all you like. She seems to be immune to tossers.”
“Don’t you at least want me to escort you to your room?”
“Potter, she’s out of bed and speaking, so I appreciate whatever you did, but if I see you, Black, Lupin or Pettigrew set so much as a toe on these stairs again, you may as well say goodbye to that toe.”
Lily shut the door with emphasis, and James turned to you with a grin.
“She appreciates whatever I did.”
His smile faltered, however, as he folded Sirius’s note.
“He’s usually looking for you after one of those…”
You knew James was hoping you’d go up to the boys’ room, but you just couldn’t. Sirius had a girlfriend now. Granted, none of you even knew what House she was in, but considering he was spending all his free time with her, she should be the one to comfort him. You were never going to give up on Sirius as a friend, but for the sake of your own emotional well-being, you were going to have to stop thinking of yourself as the most important girl in his life.
“James, I promise I’ll talk to him later if he still wants to. But for now, let me post the note and I’ll see you lot at dinner, yeah?”
You took the parchment without looking at James so you wouldn’t see the disappointment on his face.
Fresh air was exactly what you needed right now, and you were grateful the wet weather had the opposite effect on everyone else. You didn’t encounter anyone as you took your time climbing up to the owlery to hand the note off to Sirius’s black owl, Ozzy. You stood at the top of the stairs, letting the earthy breeze ruffle your hair and watching the bird until he disappeared into the grey mist of low-hanging clouds.
Making your way back to Gryffindor Tower, you stopped at an alcove near the common room entrance, tapping a small stone on the inner edge with your wand. Remus had been so nervous he rarely even spoke during your early days at Hogwarts. Not knowing the real reason, you’d just assumed him to be painfully shy, so you devised a method of communication that spared him being put on the spot. You found a few hiding spots around the castle, and from then on, the two of you would use them as a means of exchanging notes and treats. Remus’s personality finally had a chance to shine through in writing, and you’d been best friends ever since. You’d never stopped utilising the hiding spots, though. Remus was every bit as nostalgic as you were.
The loose stone floated out of place, revealing a space behind it. To your surprise, it wasn’t empty. You removed a folded slip of parchment and a small packet of custard creams. Smiling, you opened the biscuits and popped one into your mouth as you unfolded the parchment.
How very kind of you to be about to say, Y/N – I had a lovely time as well! And thank you in advance for the chocolate!
P.S. – You don’t need to apologise for having a lie-in. I (and the rest of Scotland) heard. You know I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.
He was entirely too clever for his own good. A familiar surge of affection for the boy washed through you, warming you in spite of the drafty corridor and your wet clothes. Tucking his note and the remaining biscuits into your robe, you removed the spare bit of parchment you’d brought and the chocolate bar.
Well, I guess we know who’ll be getting an O on his Divination O.W.L.! Enjoy my last Dairy Milk, you cheeky bugger.
P.S. – We don’t have to talk about it. Everything will run its course eventually.
Placing the items into the empty space, you tapped the hovering stone, which replaced itself as you continued along the corridor.
“Ah,there is a smile more befitting a young lady,” the Fat Lady chirped. You hadn’t realised you were still smiling.
“Yes, well, your approval means everything to me. Ulotrichous.”
“Allow me also to commend you on your choice,” she said, ignoring the password.
“Of?”
“The Lupin boy, of course. Such a respectful lad. He’ll make a much finer husband.”
“Husband?! Bloody hell, I’ve been on one date with him–”
“Mydear, but you’re nearly 16! In one or two years, you’ll be past your prime, and then–”
“Would you please visit a painting near a calendar and check the century? Ulotrichous.”
“–what will you do?” the Fat Lady continued, unfazed. “I understand the surface appeal of the young Black heir, after all, financial security is a must, well of course it is, and pedigree of decided import, but the Black family tree is a bit lacking in distinct branches, not to be indelicate but there it is, and I’ve found the portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black to be abominably rude besides, and the Lupin boy is quite intelligent, isn’t he, I’m sure he’ll have many fine prospects post-Hogwarts…”
Gideon and Fabian Prewett came jogging up the stairs, freezing mid-step as they took in the scene of you lying flat on your back in front of the portrait, lightly bouncing your head off the stone floor and repeating the password like a mantra as the Fat Lady incessantly blathered over you.
Grinning, the twins took an arm each, pulling you upright.
“Can’t catch a break today, can you, love?” Fabian asked as Gideon snapped loudly at the Fat Lady.
“Oi!! You heard the girl, you great gasbag! Ulotrichous!”
“Well, I never!” she sputtered, swinging aside.
Gideon bowed, his arms swung towards the portrait hole, ushering you in.
“My heroes,” you breathed, crawling through. Fabian was right: This truly was the day from hell.
“Always at your service,” he said, hopping into the common room behind you.
“Speaking of,” Gideon chimed in, “if you’d like us to have a word with Black for you, it’d be our pleasure. Pretty sure the git put itching powder in our Quidditch gear.”
“Tempting, but it’ll sort itself,” you said, taking the opportunity to work on your nonchalant smile again. You got the sense that you were going to have several more opportunities before the week was out; it seemed as if everyone in the House really had heard the row.
“Fair enough, but we’ll be keeping an eye on Lupin from now on as well,” Fabian called as the two headed for the boys’ stairs. “We don’t just protect our seeker on the pitch!”
“I feel better already!” you laughed, and you meant it. It was nice to know that the friendships you’d formed over the years were strong. You told yourself that James was right, that your bond with Sirius wasn’t going to weaken. You just wished your inner voice sounded more confident.
You opened the door to your room to find Lily on her bed, hard at work on her essay, notes and books surrounding her. Marlene was painting her toenails, and Emmeline was engaged in the assigned DADA reading. It suddenly occurred to you that you’d done none of your homework. Guess you were in for yet another late night.
“When did Black figure out how to break the enchantment on the stairs?” Lily asked without looking up.
You laughed. “Have you been sat in here all this time just waiting to ask me that?”
“Black was in here?” Marlene gasped, her eyes wide. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have worn something sexier to bed…”
“Question answered.”
“Ohhhh, he was here with yoouu,” she said slyly, shooting you an exaggerated wink.
“Yeeesss, he was here with meee… and Potter and Lupin and Pettigrew. And we were 11.”
“Firstyear?!” Lily exclaimed, slamming her Charms book shut.
“More like… first week,” you said, trying not to smile as her face turned as red as her hair.
“It’s a waste,” she muttered, fiercely shoving her books and parchments into her rucksack. “That’s what it is. Talent just dripping out of his ridiculously flawless pores, but does he use it for good? Of course he doesn’t. He uses it for sneaking into girls’ dormitories. And disguising dungbombs as grapefruit and leaving them on the Slytherin table. And making the mistletoe chase everyone through the castle last Christmas playing 'Let’s Get It On’.”
You choked on a laugh. “You have to admit, that was classic.”
Lily turned her glare on you, and you quickly ran over to Marlene and Emmeline, grabbing their arms and hauling them off their beds.
“Dinnertime! Who’s ready for dinner, step lively, off we go!”
Remus strolled along the sixth-floor corridor, pausing briefly to break another square off the Dairy Milk bar. He placed it on his tongue, letting the creamy chocolate melt a bit.
He’d been walking around the castle for the better part of the day, which was fine. Part of the time had been spent on his appointed prefect rounds – and had subsequently saved Prongs and Wormtail from detention after he ran across them charming Binns’ chalk to write random swear words on the blackboard. At least History of Magic would be entertaining tomorrow.
He could’ve done with more sleep, especially after he woke with a fairly thumping hangover. But when it became clear to him and Pete that Sirius wasn’t going to emerge from behind his curtains and explain what had gone on last night, they’d opted to head down to breakfast, passing a snoring James in the common room, as was becoming the norm. Remus hadn’t been surprised when he didn’t see you at breakfast either.
But it wasn’t as if he didn’t need the time alone to think, and he’d done plenty of it.
A part of him wondered if he should’ve told Sirius off for shouting at you last night. The five of you bickering amongst yourselves wasn’t uncommon, but a full-scale row was. Then again, you were more than capable of handling Sirius – perhaps the most capable… even James had to wash his hands of Padfoot from time to time – and Remus didn’t want you to think he was trying to fight your battles for you. The note he’d found with the chocolate bar seemed to indicate he’d made the right decision there.
He also wondered if he should’ve been the one to go up and see about you today when you didn’t come down. He was your best friend, after all, and last night’s date didn’t change that. But considering how he’d ended the date, waltzing into your room might have seemed a bit forward. He was relieved when he encountered Lily a bit ago and learned that James had spoken with you. Even if she did throw in a few choice threats about taking the enchantment off the stairs.
How he’d ended the date. The thought rebounded on Remus and made his stomach flip, just as it had been doing all day.
What the hell had gotten into him? Other than enough butterbeer to float a bloody barge. His initial reaction when he’d woken this morning was shame – he’d moved way too fast. But it wasn’t as if he’d been on a date with a stranger. And ultimately, he kept coming back to how completely and utterly free he’d felt in that moment… none of his usual nervousness and doubt, just him and the one person with whom he’d always felt most comfortable, and when you’d said what you said, it was as if a switch had been thrown – his mind shut down and his emotions took over.
It was exhilarating, but there was just one little problem. Alright, perhaps one very large problem: He didn’t think he could replicate it. He tried to imagine being that bold again for perhaps the hundredth time today – tried to imagine striding up to you, pulling you into the nearest broom closet, and snogging you senseless. His knees buckled, and he flailed out for the nearest thing he could grab onto to stop himself hitting the floor: a suit of armour, which clanged loudly, startling a passing ghost.
Remus blushed and gave the ghost a small wave, breaking off another square of chocolate as he spun round and headed back the way he came. That brand of bold was best left to the Siriuses of the world. Still, he really did feel more confident today than he had the day before. The two of you had had a brilliant time in Hogsmeade, and he felt closer to you for it, which was honestly more important to him than anything else. And as for the end… well, you hadn’t exactly seemed opposed to the idea of him kissing you.
A slight grin crossed his face at that thought, and he checked his watch. Finally time for dinner. Now there was just the matter of smoothing everyone’s ruffled feathers, and Remus had an idea that might do the trick.
Sirius slowly opened his eyes, intending to push the curtains aside and check the time. Instead, he found himself nose to snout with a large deer, its antlers branching above him like a prickly chandelier.
“FUCK!” he yelped, launching himself backwards and going arse over tit off the edge of the bed.
The stag made a series of grunting noises that sounded suspiciously like laughter as Sirius dragged himself from the floor, rubbing his neck. James’s voice suddenly replaced the grunts as the curtain flapped about wildly.
“Shit, Pads, I’m hung…”
“I’ve seen you in the shower, I wouldn’t go thatfar.”
“Myantlers, you twat.”
Sirius walked around the end of his bed, barking out a laugh at the sight of James shaking his head violently, antlers still attached, as he attempted to free himself from the eyelets at the top of the curtains.
“Serves you right, you literal hatstand.”
“Tosh. You had that coming and you know it. Now get me loose.”
Sirius smirked, lifting the lid of his trunk and grabbing the camera instead.
“Give us a smile,” he said as James flicked the V. Sirius snapped the photo and tossed the camera back into his trunk, waving his hand at the curtains as he made his way to his chest of drawers. The curtains extricated themselves from James’s antlers, and Sirius slid on a pair of jeans as he watched his friend squint in concentration. The antlers shrunk down slowly to hilarious little stumps before finally disappearing altogether.
“You alright, mate?” James asked cautiously, straightening his jostled glasses. “I heard Evans was introduced to Walburga…”
“Figured you sent her up,” Sirius said, dodging the topic of the Howler. Prongs’s stiff-upper-lip attitude was endearing, but pep talks had stopped working on Sirius long ago.
What he wanted after an encounter with his family was to acknowledge the darkness he felt, not deny it. He wished that he could go back to the days when he simply pretended his family didn’t exist when not in the presence of direct evidence to the contrary. Out of sight, out of mind. But while his friends knew about his parents’ blood-purist extremism, they didn’t know the whole story. They knew his parents often punished him when he was at home; they didn’t know the specific methods, which were growing increasingly abusive with each passing year. They knew his parents’ social circle shared their supremacist ideals; they didn’t know that circle was expanding to include suspected Death Eaters. “Suspected” was a laughable word at this point, he thought bitterly. He’d yet to hear of anyone “suspected” of being a Death Eater who’d not turned out to be one.
To try to ignore what was happening at 12 Grimmauld Place, to try to shrug it all off and go on his merry way, was to be unprepared. He had to stay on his guard. And so he wanted to feel the darkness because the darkness was what reminded him how very precious the light was. How worth protecting.
Your face flashed through his mind, along with a simultaneous pain through his chest. It was his own fault he wasn’t getting to turn to you today. You understood what he wanted in those moments: Not to be encouraged to let it go, not to be told that everything would be okay – just to be allowed to feel it all. Sirius was fairly sure you’d guessed the things he hadn’t told anyone. You’d always been good at reading people, especially him, but you didn’t try to press him on it. You listened. You held his hand. And when his eyes told you the words he couldn’t say out loud – that he was terrified they’d win in the end – your eyes answered that it’d be a cold day in hell before you ever let that happen.
He felt tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He needed you… now, next year, forever. That was the finite truth of it. He needed you, but he didn’t deserve you. His behaviour last night had proven that.
“…just figured maybe you’d listen if you heard it from someone else for a change,” James was saying.
“How is she?” he blurted out. “Is she… I mean, I know what I said… everything I said… fucking bang out of order, but is she okay?”
James stared at him blankly for a moment. “Evans? What’d you say to her?”
Shit, that’s right – James had been talking about Evans.
“No, sorry. Y/N…”
“Well, she wasn’t doing handsprings, mate, but it’s Y/N. You know she cares about you. Which I believe she made extra clear by screaming it at you last night. Just talk to her, Sirius. Like you always do.”
Sirius felt more tears threatening to form. He had to get a grip on himself.
“Anyway, back to Evans… erm… yeah, that made a big difference. In fact, after she walked in on me starkers, we–”
“Shewhat?!”
Sirius was relieved to find that his chuckle was genuine – the look on Prongs’s face was priceless.
“Relax, I’m joking.” He figured it’d be best not to mention that he had actually been half-naked. “It really was a good talk.”
He wasn’t lying, to his surprise. Evans’ method of getting through to him – shouting his various attributes at him while looking as if she might set his hair on fire at any moment – was oddly effective. If someone who hated him as much as she did could find some worth in him, maybe he wasn’t a lost cause after all.
“Smashing!” James said, brightening. “And guess what else? She only insulted me one time this morning!”
“A new record!” Sirius grinned, high-fiving him. “Hungry?” Hopefully you’d be at dinner so he could apologise. Pushing you away wasn’t the solution to his problem.
“Famished. By the by, Evans did say she’d amputate our toes if we set foot on the girls’ stairs again.”
“That’s not very neighbourly.”
“Oh, and Moony asked if we’d bring the map and the cloak. Says there’s something we need to do tonight.”
“Map’s in my trunk,” Sirius mumbled. He’d dropped to his stomach and appeared to be trying to fish his boots out from under the bed.
James plucked the map out of the lid of the trunk, stooping to pick up a photo that fluttered to the floor. He watched you blink in surprise as Sirius took the picture before arching an eyebrow at him, then winced at the look on your face before the shutter was pressed. He hated seeing you sad.
There was a thud as Sirius began shoving his feet into the boots, and James slipped the photo back into the lid before quietly closing the trunk and sitting down on it. Sirius had a photo of you hidden in the lid of his trunk. Not Mystery Bird. You. He glanced down at the map in his hands. Sirius hadn’t let it out of his sight since he started going out with this girl, but if James had anything to do with it, he wasn’t getting it back tonight. It was high time he met Sirius’s new lady friend.
Sirius popped up from the floor, and James tossed him the map before retrieving his cloak from his own trunk. They walked to the Great Hall in silence, except for a brief pause on the stairs to cheer on Peeves, who was chasing Filch down the third-floor corridor with a mop.
Remus and Peter were already at the table, but James noticed you and the girls were missing from your usual spot. He worried you might be giving dinner a miss as well, but a few moments later, you walked in with Evans, McKinnon and Vance. Sirius immediately made to stand, but James grabbed the hem of his shirt, tugging him back down.
“You don’t want to go over there right now, Pads. You’ve activated the girl shields.”
The four boys watched as every girl in Gryffindor shifted closer to you and your roommates as you sat down, immediately whispering and casting occasional nasty looks at the Marauders. No shouting match the likes of last night’s was going to come without the cost of a bit of chinwagging. James knew you were miserable, though. You hated gossip and seemed to be doing your best to smile and wave the girls off.
“What are they glaring at the rest of us for, we didn’t do anything!” Peter protested.
“Well, we can’t very well put him in the pillory, can we, so we’ll just have to stay here and absorb some of the collateral damage,” Remus grinned, extending a long arm across the table to give Sirius’s shoulder an encouraging slap. James was relieved to see that Remus wasn’t angry with Sirius.
“Listen, Moony…” Sirius started, wanting to make sure, but Remus cut him off.
“We’re good, Pads. It’s between the two of you, and you’ll work it out. But I might be able to help with that later.”
The rest of the meal passed with the usual banter, plus occasional laughter when you’d catch the boys glancing at you and toss subtle “kill me now” gestures their way. You apparently had had enough concern by the time pudding was served, excusing yourself and hotfooting it out of the Hall with Evans on your heels.
When dinner wound down and the Hall began to clear, Moony quietly explained his plan. It seemed to make everyone feel a bit better. James knew that things weren’t about to magically return to normal, but this should at least stop the boat rocking for now. As professors and prefects began shooing stragglers to their Houses, the Marauders slipped under James’s cloak and made their way towards the One-Eyed Witch.
I am SO TREMENDOUSLY SORRY to the ridiculously (riddikulusly?) kind people who’ve let me know they were hoping this story would continue. I don’t even know what to say other than I couldn’t be more deeply touched that you like it that much. I also couldn’t be more deeply ashamed that I’ve left you hanging. But apart from some more major life changes (I’m ready for all the life changes to stop for a good long while now!!), I’d been sitting on this bit of the story for ages now just doubting the bejesus out of it.
I suppose that’s normal when writing fanfic? Or I hope it is… this is still just my second go at it, but without going into detail on how many times I deleted bits I told myself were boring and awful, PLEASE feel free to tell me if I’m cocking this up!! lol If you don’t like where it’s going or how it’s getting there, don’t hesitate to tell me. In return, I’ll stop thinking it to death and try to let it go where it seems to want to go.
Anyway, enough sheepish excuses. I’m forcing myself to publish this part even though it seems like I should have done more to it. If you’re still here reading, bless your lovely heart, and if you asked me at some point to add you to the tag list and I didn’t, just remind me again because we all know now that my brain is a cluttered attic with a bloody ghoul in it lol
You knew one of two things would happen if you went upstairs right now.
The first scenario was that Lily and Marlene had waited up and would pounce on you the moment you entered the dorm, possibly shrieking, likely jumping up and down, and definitely diving onto your bed to demand you regale them with every detail of the day’s events.
The second was that they hadn’t waited up but would instead wake you at dawn to do all of the above.
Youdid want to talk to them, of course, particularly level-headed Lily. Today – and particularly tonight – had left you with much to process, and you’d be glad of an outside perspective. But your head was in no shape for it at the moment. Bits and pieces of the day were flashing through your mind at too swift a speed… snippets of conversations you and Remus had had, images of him laughing freely at the Broomsticks and excitedly pointing out rare books at Tomes & Scrolls, the sounds of a softly played piano, and the rush of adrenaline as the two of you tripped your way up the staircases beneath James’s cloak.
Further complicating things at the moment was the fact that those images were being too frequently interrupted by the lingering feeling of his lips sliding gently across your jaw.
Considering you were also still a bit sloshed, you arrived at the only logical conclusion: Sleeping on the sofa it was.
A wave of your wand had the fire roaring again, and you pulled a blanket up to your chin as you settled against the pillows. After a bit, you found that simply concentrating on the swaying flames helped slow the roundabout in your head. One particular question kept begging for attention, though, no matter how you tried to ignore it.
Had you wanted Remus to kiss you?
Sussing out the answer felt like significantly more effort than you wanted to exert at the present time, but something in the back of your mind kept insisting it was important to try. Either you’d wanted him to kiss you or you’d just been curious to see if he would. The difference would tell you… it would tell you…
“I just want to sleep,” you groaned in frustration as the back of your mind yanked you once again from the edge of a doze.
“Well, fine then! I know when I’m not wanted,” a voice came from behind you. “Thank Evans for that.”
You snorted. “Thank Evans.”
James paused for a moment, then laughed as he caught on.
“Thank Evans instead of thank heavens… oh, we’ve got to make that a new Marauders in-joke, it’ll drive her round the bend.”
You giggled as you pictured Lily a few days from now, red faced and stamping her foot as she demanded to know why everyone kept saying that.
“Sorry to disturb, though, I’ll leave you to it,” James said, his voice a bit further away. You shook your head, then realised he couldn’t see you; you’d wedged yourself as deeply into the sofa cushions as you could manage in your fitfulness.
“No, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to myself. I feel like I’m losing the plot, James…”
You rubbed your face. James’s timing was, as per usual, impeccable. You suddenly knew that if anyone could help you sort through this, it was him.
You extended your arms so that he could see them over the back of the sofa.
“Hold me,” you said in your most piteous voice.
“Why, Y/N!” James gasped, his head appearing above yours, a mock expression of shock on his face. “What would Moony say?”
“Belt up and get over here.”
“How forceful of him,” James teased as he vaulted the back of the sofa. You pulled your knees quickly to your chest to avoid having your legs crushed. You couldn’t, however, avoid being jostled violently, and before you could regain your breath, James had grabbed you round the waist and hauled you into his lap. Angling back against the cushions, he put a hand on your forehead and pressed down until your head was resting on the arm of the sofa before draping his arm comfortably over your stomach.
“How is it you always manage to make me feel simultaneously assaulted and loved?” you asked.
It was only partially a joke. James seemed to barrel into every endeavour like a drunken ogre yet, by the end, it was always as if everything had gone precisely according to his plan. It was part of the reason you were so sure he and Lily would eventually end up together. She just had to wait out the ogre stage.
“It’s a gift,” James yawned, pulling the blanket over the two of you. “Now. How satisfactory is Remus’s snogging? I reckon he goes in a bit frantic, but Pads pegs him as more of a tender lover…”
“If I weren’t so tired, I’d look at you indignantly,” you said, eyes closed. “There was no snogging.”
“Not even a peck goodnight?”
“No. Well…”
“Aha!”
“I said no!”
“And then you said ‘well’. Everybody knows that 'well’ after 'no’ means 'yes’.”
You managed an exasperated sigh. “Did he not speak to the three of you when he came in?”
“Two of us. Sirius still isn’t back.”
There was that twinge again.
“And you know Moony. Told us to sod off and crawled into bed before we could even so much as get a word out. But he was grinning like a Cheshire cat when he came through the door, so I just figured–”
“You just figured what?” you asked, opening your eyes just enough to narrow them at him. “That he couldn’t possibly be grinning because we’d had a nice time or because I’m excellent company?”
“You’re always excellent company and you two always have a nice time. So something different had to have happened. And snogging would definitely be different.”
“There was nosnogging.”
“But there was a 'well’.”
With a quiet groan, you reached up to rub your temples, which were beginning to throb.
“Why does everyone always want to have deep, probing conversations with me when I’m fucking shattered?” you demanded. “What’s wrong with soul searching at, say, half eight?”
“We all know 'tipsy and tired’ is your and Sirius’s Veritaserum,” James said matter of factly.
Your eyes widened, and he quickly put a hand over your mouth.
“Allow me,” he said, clearing his throat and sending his voice into an exaggerated falsetto. “James, how dare you! Do you have any idea how manipulative that is? If you weren’t so incredibly handsome and virile, I’d be very, very cross with you.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle into his hand, and he took that as a sign that it was safe to remove it.
“Itis manipulative,” you muttered.
“If you want to be negative about it,” James said with a dismissive wave. “I prefer to see it as a sign of how close we all are. I mean, we’d have to be to pick up on this stuff, wouldn’t we? Get a fair few down you and Sirius, wait till you’re good and cream-crackered, and the both of you will spill your guts. Don’t act like you’ve never bribed Remus with chocolate, and we both know you can guilt him into anything if you appeal to that honourable streak of his. Just tell Pete 'that’s something James and Sirius would do’ and he’ll do it. Honestly, Y/N, if you don’t occasionally manipulate your friends, do you really even care?”
You opened your mouth to protest, then remembered how many times you’d gotten James to do something he didn’t want to do by telling him how impressed Lily would be when you told her.
“Alright, fair enough. We’re extremely close, sort of rotten friends. We deserve each other. But for the record, I was going to tell you anyway. 'Tipsy and tired’ or not.”
One of the things you loved about all the boys was that they knew when it was fine to take the Mickey and when it was time to shut it and listen. James sat attentively as you summed up the day, his mouth dropping open as you reached the end.
“Moony did that?! OurMoony?”
You nodded.
“Fucking hell,” James said, grinning through his shock as he shook his head. “I didn’t think he had it in him. So… what happened next?”
“I threw a pillow at him.”
“As you do.”
“Not smack in the face or anything. He sneaked off right when I thought… well, I thought he was going to properly kiss me. Next thing I knew, he was on the stairs.”
“Merlin’s undies, he went from nervous wreck to Casanova in a day? You must be one hell of a date, love.”
“That goes without saying, but I don’t think it had as much to do with me as it did with Remus just… throwing caution to the wind for once. This is going to sound odd, but I felt sort of proud of him. He’s capable of so much more than he thinks he is.”
“Apparently. Ten minutes before we went down to the Great Hall, he was snogging a paper bag. If you’d told me he’d be moving on to chins a few hours later, I’d have–”
“He did not snog my chin. Godric, James.”
James laughed before tapping his own chin with his thumb, something he always did when he was thinking.
“So what is it you’re upset about? That he didn’t properly kiss you? Did you want him to?”
James watched as you slowly nibbled the inside of your bottom lip. You always did that when you were thinking.
He had to admit, he was reeling from this news about Moony. He hadn’t had any doubt that Remus would eventually relax and the two of you would settle into your usual simpatico swing. He wouldn’t have left his cloak with Rosmerta otherwise. But from there, he’d reckoned it’d be a hug and off to bed, followed by a few agonising weeks of having to watch the two of you awkwardly dance around one another – complete with loads of blushing and that Alice-and-Frank hand-brushing bollocks – while you all waited to see where this would go.
Remus had skipped ahead a few chapters, and now it was time to figure out whether that had advanced the story or spoilt the ending.
“That’s what was keeping me awake when you came down,” you said finally. “Did I want him to kiss me… romantically? Or did I just want to see what New Remus would do next?”
“Well… maybe a comparison,” James suggested. “How have you felt just before being kissed before?”
Your eyes dropped, and a slight flush washed over your cheeks.
“I haven’t been kissed before,” you said quietly.
James’s eyes widened in genuine surprise.
“Don’t take the piss, James, not right now.”
“I would never! I just assumed Morgan had at least had a go…”
“He had welts for a week after that Stinging Snowball stunt. Hasn’t put his face anywhere near me since.”
“Sorry? I suppose?”
“You suppose wrong. He’s nice enough, but he’s a bit of a big head. Always on about shallow rubbish, doesn’t seem interested in getting to know me. The real me, I mean.”
Suddenly, you looked vulnerable and sad. Just like Sirius had that night outside the kitchens. James really wished he could make everyone stop looking like that.
He’d had all the standard, humiliating warnings from his mum that people’s feelings would go all… feely once they reached a certain age. It’d been especially delightful the night she’d decided to include Sirius in the conversation. “Be wary of young ladies who only seem to be attracted to your looks,” she’d said. “Particularly you, Sirius.” James scowled slightly as he remembered Pads bursting into laughter.
But you and Remus, Sirius and Mystery Bird… regardless of the warnings, James hadn’t expected to start fifth year with everyone pairing off. And if he was honest, he was feeling a bit gutted that, despite a little progress, he seemed no closer to adding 'James and Lily’ to that list.
But none of this was going to be solved overnight. A change of subject was definitely in order.
“I vote we not be serious for the rest of the night.”
“I second,” you said, giving him a grateful smile.
“I third! One of me is more than enough.”
James watched as the smile slipped from your face at the sound of Sirius’s voice. You used to light up when he walked into a room. How had Pads never noticed that?
Tilting his head back, James watched as Sirius caught his foot on the edge of the portrait hole and tipped forwards. Just before he hit the floor, however, he spun, putting a hand down behind him and propelling himself upright. The whole thing ended up looking more like a bloody dance move than a drunken eejit tripping into a room. James shook his head. He loved Sirius dearly, but sometimes he wondered if it wouldn’t do Pads some good to fall flat on his face every once in a while. Might knock some sense into him.
“Uh-oh,” Sirius said, dangling over the back of an adjacent armchair. “Cuddles with Prongs means something’s wrong.”
“You’re almost as poetic as Peeves,” you retorted, rolling your eyes.
“So what is it?” Sirius continued, unperturbed. “Bad date?”
His tone was confrontational. He was also pissed as a newt – eyes bloodshot, voice heavy and sluggish, and his breath could have knocked over an erumpent. This was not good.
“Perfectly lovely date, thank you,” you said shortly. “Best time I’ve had in ages.”
James watched as a pained look flickered over Sirius’s face, replaced almost immediately by another James knew all too well. That sulky look that said “Pads is now in a mood – terrible decisions on his part are about to be made and something will inevitably get broken”. This was very, very not good.
“Oh? Then why are you in the common room being consoled by Prongs instead of upstairs showing off your love bites like mydate?”
James felt you flinch and instinctively grabbed your hand as the pained look found a new home. Yours didn’t last long either, though, anger scorching the hurt away from your eyes.
“Bloodyhell, Sirius, shut your gob and go to bed,” James tried, knowing it was too late. You sat up stiffly, glaring at the boy as he raised a smug eyebrow at you.
“That was horrid,” you said quietly, your voice quivering slightly.
“That’s not what she said,” Sirius drawled, standing upright.
“Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you. Why are you doing this to– why are you doing this?”
Sirius faltered for a moment at your sudden pleading tone, and James held his breath, hoping fervently that some faint, preferably sober voice in Padfoot’s head would lead him right. But then the mask slid back down.
“Doing what? Having a little fun?”
“There’s a difference between having fun and acting like an arrogant prick.”
“So I’m a prick now because I’m not Remus?”
“Who said I wanted you to be Remus?”
“Then who is it you want me to be?”
“You! The realyou.”
“And where has that ever gotten me? Who gives a shit about the real me?”
“I DO!!” you yelled, and James watched as Sirius’s eyes widened slightly. You stood abruptly, clearly flustered, and stomped to the bottom of the girls’ stairs. Surely that had snapped Sirius out of it…
“Yeah, well, you can tell Remus the real me is a prick too on your next perfectly lovely date.”
Aaaaand fuck. James let his head drop onto the back of the sofa as Sirius stalked to the boys’ stairs. In his peripheral vision, he could see you swiping quickly at your eyes while Sirius wasn’t looking.
“Believe me, I will,” you said, your volume rising. “And don’t worry, I won’t be spoiling your fun from now on. Why you even bother concerning yourself with what dull, boring little Y/N is doing is beyond me.”
“BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!” Sirius shouted.
The two of you glowered at one other for a few seconds before you bolted through the door to the girls’ tower, slamming it behind you. Sirius pounded his fist against the boys’ door before violently kicking it open.
At least nothing got brok–
James ducked as a bolt of light shot from the top of the boys’ stairs and a small table near the portrait hole exploded. Wearily curling up on the sofa, he listened for a few moments for any further signs of movement. Or destruction. While it was a safe bet that everyone in the House was awake now, he hoped they’d stay in their dorms. He needed to take stock, and better to do it here than upstairs with the Human Molotov Cocktail in the next bed.
Silence settled slowly over the room.
First on the list of things needing pondered: James had seriously underestimated Remus, who had apparently been a character from a romance novel all along – sensitive, suave, well-read, dashing, musical, and moonlighting as a werewolf. Pun very much intended. He also seemed to have intentions of snogging you at some point in the near future, though whether or not you wanted to be snogged was still up in the air. And meanwhile, Sirius’s snogging was clearly out of control.
If it turned out Pete was snogging anything, James was going to be extremely put out.
To make all of that even more complicated, despite your best efforts to be furious, you and Sirius had really only proven one thing with your row: You still had feelings for each other. The Veritaserum had spoken. Or in this case, shouted.
“Tipsy and tired,” he sighed, pulling the blanket over his head. He himself was unfortunately only one of those things.
“Potter!”
James groaned. What the holy hell now? It felt like he’d barely closed his eyes five minutes ago.
“POTTER!”
Irritably, he yanked the blanket away from his face and winced against the sunlight streaming into the room before forcing one eye open. Lily was standing in front of the sofa, arms crossed, foot tapping. James closed his eye. Could she just once plan a lecture for a time when he didn’t look like he’d been trampled by graphorns? Seeing as he usually couldn’t defend his actions, it’d be nice if he could at least smoulder.
“Potter, I obviously saw you open your eye, so why would you bother closing it?”
“Because my dream seems to be malfunctioning. Normally, you’re naked.”
“Oh my God. Just forget it, you manky plonker,” Lily huffed, turning towards the portrait hole.
“Wait, wait, Evans, I apologise. Step into my office, we’ll have a chat that I’m sure will include many more apologies by me.”
Lily looked dubious but settled into an armchair as James dragged himself into a sitting position, straightening his glasses.
“I’m sure this will come as a nasty shock, but I’m not here to talk about you,” Lily began. “Though I would be interested to know if you ever actually sleep in your bed.”
James opened his mouth, but your voice suddenly popped into his head.
“Do NOT say 'You’re welcome to find out’, for fuck’s sake, these are the things that do not impress Lily no matter how funny they are, James.”
“It was safer down here last night,” he said instead.
Lily nodded with a sigh.
“That’s what I wanted to talk about. We were all awake when she came in, of course, but she just dove into bed and drew the curtains. Hasn’t come out since. Please tell me it wasn’t Remus she was shouting at…”
“It wasn’t Remus. It was Sirius.”
“Sirius?”
“He stumbled in from his date while Y/N and I were chatting. It went… less than well.”
Lily sighed, casting a worried look towards the girls’ dorm.
James frowned. Damned if he was going to start yet another week with everything gone pear-shaped. He needed a plan of action. A change of perspective.
“Evans, what do you think should be done about a person who’s too pigheaded to understand that another person’s been trying to tell them they fancy them?”
“Don’t you call me pigheaded, James Potter!”
James snorted. “No, no, not you. Sirius. The row last night, it was nothing but the two of them lashing out at each other because they’re hurt and stubborn. And in Sirius’s case, bevvied. With a dash of stupid.”
“So you think Sirius still has feelings for her?”
“I know he does. But the thing is, he’s had his bloody chances and he just keeps cocking it up. I’m of a mind now he’s doing it on purpose.”
Lily’s eyes widened. “Why?”
“I’m convinced now that he stood aside for Remus. Which under any other circumstance would’ve made him quite the noble bastard, but under this one… I don’t know. I reckon Sirius wanted to give Remus’s confidence a leg up, but from what Y/N said last night Moony’s doing just fine on his lonesome.”
“She talked to you about her date?”
James raised a brow. “Some girls have no trouble at all talking to me, Evans. Some girls quite enjoy it, in fact.”
“Yes, well, some girls also quite enjoy waxing their legs. So they had a nice time?”
“I’ll leave the details to her but yeah, seems so.”
Lily stood suddenly. “I’m going to talk to her. If things went well with Remus and she’s committed to seeing where else they might go, then she needs to give it time. Which means Sirius needs to stop complicating things. Perhaps you should tell him as much.”
“About that,” James said, eyeing Lily cautiously. “Me telling Pads what to do is about as effective as me telling that fireplace poker. Meanwhile, your continued refusal to find me irresistible means you don’t know much about men. No offence.”
“Point?” Lily groaned.
“What Y/N needs right now is insight and empathy. What Pads needs is a stern lecture. Care to trade?”
Lily looked puzzled for a moment before crinkling her nose in disgust. “You want me to speak with Black?”
“Frightened, are you?”
The girl puffed up immediately and it was all James could do not to laugh. She looked like a disgruntled owl.
“Hardly. Repulsed is more like it. He’s horrid. Second-most-arrogant person I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet. Selfish, spoilt, a complete and utter rake…”
“And yet you… don’t want to lecture him?”
Lily paused. “Actually, now you mention it, yes. Yes I do. It’s certainly clear no one else in his life ever has.”
“It’s settled then,” James said, hopping up from the sofa and heading for the girls’ stairs. “I’d have a go now if I were you; I reckon he’s too hungover to be belligerent.”
Lily marched towards the boys’ stairs but whipped around, mouth open, at the sound of James whispering behind her.
“JamesPotter!! Did you just take the enchantment off the girls’ stairs?!”
“Sirius taught me!” James yelled over his shoulder, taking two steps at a time to get out of hexing range. “Feel free to include that in your chat!”
“Oh, I will! Once this business is sorted, we’re all going to be having chats about lots of things! I amaprefect, you know!”
“Yes, yes, thank Evans for that,” James called as he opened the door to the dorms, grinning as Lily’s voice drifted up the stairs: “Thank me for what?”
Summary: Sirius Black just might be more sentimental than you think when he takes you on a trip down memory lane.
Prompt used: “Sorry how do you spell that?”
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: mild angst, smoking, fluff, kissing
A/N: This is for @sweeterthansammy ’s 1k writing challenge! I hope you enjoy. Flash backs are italicized, and the prompt I used is bolded!
The weather was a little bit chillier now that the sun was dipping down in the sky, chilly enough for a sweater or a light jacket. Something you didn’t have much time to think about with the spontaneity of Sirius’ plans and just how urgent he’d been making them out to be. Really, there was no rush and he knew that, of course he knew that, but he was far too eager for his own good and you knew that.
You were certain he’d under dressed when you found him standing by the front door, leaning against the frame in that tattered old jean jacket. The one there’s no chance in him getting rid of, not in a million years. It’s got a myriad of holes here and there in the faded, washed out denim, the cuffs having seen better days as the frayed material dangles down half torn. A miscellaneous pin from James is still on there, even that bright yellow smiley face is stuck on the collar that you’d put there ages ago. It was more than a well worn article of clothing, that much was for sure.
You managed to break away from James and Lily’s conversation, more so Lily, and any other time you wouldn’t have minded a single bit. You absolutely wouldn’t have, but with Sirius calling you from the floor below in the small Potter home, you find yourself having no choice but to give in to saving the conversation for later in favor of quieting the raven haired wizard.
You walk down the stairs until equally tattered converse come into view, then those same old black denim jeans, the those frayed jean jacket cuffs. You smell the distinct smell, something that’d only further been confirmed as you reach the very last step.
“Either I’m a fool, or time just stopped,” he says, flicking the ashes from his cigarette as he smiled down at you.
The corner of your mouth quirks up, the kind of smile he knows isn’t a hundred percent sweet.
“I think you’re just a fool, Pads,” you say, that smile widening a fraction. There it is. He walked right into that one and he knew it, rolling his eyes. “And I don’t think Mr. Potter would approve of you smoking in his beloved family home.”
“Which is exactly why I’m standing outside,” he grins before bringing the cigarette back to his lips, throwing his hands up as he takes one step backwards through the threshold of the doorway just so he can officially say that he is in fact outside and not at all breaking the rules of the residence.
Sirius Black liked to bend the rules when he could, he liked to walk on the wild side just about every chance he got no matter how trivial it may be. He claims it’s the only way to be, claims that’s what having fun is all about and anything less is boring. Nonchalance is simply in his nature.
“Yeah, I’ll bet you are,” you counter, hopping off the very last step when he tugged on your hand to urge you out the door.
He pulled the door shut behind him and stopped you in your tracks, making you turn on your heel before you could take another step forward. You look up at him with a narrowed gaze and await an explanation as to just why it is he’s gone and stopped you when all he’s done the past ten minutes is tell you how desperately he’d wanted to go. So you stand and your stare and you watch as smoke blows past parted lips, lips that quirk upwards in a smile as he looks at you.
In that moment, he dips down, pressing his lips on yours in a kiss that’s as smoky as ever and the gesture alone has your smile pressing into his kiss. A smile that’s genuine just as much as it’s teasing.
“I thought we had somewhere to be?” You say, breaking away as you look up at him with a raised brow.
“We do,” he says, taking another puff before you snag the cigarette right from between his fingers, dropping it to the little stone walkway before putting it out beneath your boot.
You take notice of his pursed lips that fight a smile, at the squinted gaze he’s got set on you as you spin on your heel and walk ahead, leaving him to stand there and stare after you for a fleeting moment or two. You’ve got all the amusement in the world sitting on your expression and he doesn’t even need to see it to know it, he can tell just by simply hearing the laugh fall from your lips. He can see it as he catches up to you within a second’s time.
“How very rude of you,” he says in faux offense, but it’s not too long before you feel the tips of his fingers brushing against yours.
“How very generous of me,” you counter, and his scoff doesn’t go unheard.
The next time you look up at him, he’s got those sunshine yellow shades on, those obnoxiously yellow sunglasses that sit on his nose seemingly more often than not. James had gotten them for him at the town fair just a few years back, a gift just for laughs that he’d gotten with the rest of his tickets. They were bright and they were bold and very much fitting for the year nineteen-eighty-one, but he’d gone and kept them. Of course he did.
Sirius Black kept every single thing his friends have ever given him no matter how ridiculous or trivial it may have seemed. Even when he was just a child still stuck in his dreaded family home, he’d saved a shoe box from a pair of dress shoes he absolutely hated wearing, one pair of dozens that inevitably got scuffed up just a little too much for the liking of his parents before they’d gone and bought him a new pair to look more presentable for the family image. Aside from that, he’d kept a shoe box, one that he had tucked under his bed.
Inside were all the letters that James and Remus had sent him by owl over summer break, each and every letter even if it was simply James complaining about some nonsensical thing or a joke or if it was Remus writing to see if he’d gotten his Hogwarts letter yet. He kept all of them. He kept the four leaf clover James had stumbled upon, and he kept that special quill Remus had swiped from Snape. He never knew his best friend had a knack for being mischievous until that moment.
He’d read those letters on his best nights and his worst, read them just for so. They were tattered and worn at the creases where they were folded, but he didn’t plan on getting rid of them any time soon.
Over the years that sentimental collection grew and grew, adding to it a myriad of pressed flowers and leaves from Lily, and bookmarks from Remus, postcards from James that were the absolute most ridiculous he could find. You added to it with miscellaneous letters and a guitar pick you thought he might like. He never used it, he didn’t want to ruin it. He kept that feather boa you’d found and even that lucky coin. He kept it all.
Sirius Black was more sentimental than he let on, he’s got a softer heart than he showcased to most, he kept every one of those things no matter how stupid or trivial it may seem to someone else. But he’d never in a million years admit it. James had found it once, but he never said a word about it.
“You never did tell me where we’re going,” you say, kicking a pebble out of your way as you walked along the cracked sidewalk.
“I believe that’s the point of a surprise, love,” he says, and you catch his smile as you look up at him, lips pursed as you nudge him with your elbow.
“You’re terrible at surprises,” you tease, your smile in your voice and had he not been wearing those sunglasses at sunset, you’d have been able to see his eye roll. But you knew him well enough to know he’d gone and done it regardless of the visual confirmation.
“Have I ever told you you’re a pain?” He asked, his chuckle following his words as he grins ahead, glancing down at you briefly.
“Yes, and I take that as a compliment,” you say, hearing his continued laughter as he shakes his head.
You try and put the pieces together, try and pick up any hints to put together any form of information that just might lead you in the direction of where you could possibly be going. It was in town, that you knew for certain. It was somewhere, local otherwise he’d have taken Mr. Potter’s car. The attire was no use in a giveaway because there was not a single chance there’d be an occasion where you’d find Sirius taking you somewhere in which you’d need to dress to the nines. The days of pristine suits and freshly polished shoes were far behind him, he hated dressing up with everything that he had.
He didn’t even dress up above and beyond for James and Lily’s wedding; well, he did, but he dressed down his suit with a half loosened tie that wound up being a headband and that tattered pair of converse. And he even wore those same old yellow sunglasses.
It was early evening, and things don’t tend to stay open for that much longer, so that narrows things down just a little bit more. Makes things just a little bit clearer, but it all proved to be not as helpful as you’d like it to be.
The small town was dotted with street lamps casting the area in a warm glow as it began to get darker and darker outside. The surrounding trees held reddening leaves that dropped and fluttered to the ground when the breeze sifted through them. And it’s only then that it hits you, the smell of coffee and spice that wafts through the air the closer you get. The sweetened air the closer you got. You even heard that familiar little clang of the bell over the door.
It wasn’t until then that you’d realized that maybe this was his surprise, that it absolutely was judging by the way he’d been biting the inside of his cheek to stifle his grin.
“Sirius Black, is this what I think it is?” You ask, your brow raised as the corner of his mouth quirks upwards.
Your question is answered when that smile breaks through, when you do indeed stop in front of the door to that ever familiar coffee shop and he holds the door open for you to step inside. It’s noticeably warmer than the chilly weather outside, cozier than ever as the smell of coffee washes over you. It looked just the same as when you were here last, felt just as inviting as it always did.
There were a few carved pumpkins sitting outside the door, an assortment of fall decorations littering inside the small shop. Each of the little wooden tables have cozy orange table cloths, and string lights are hung. The entirety of the shop smelled like fall festive drinks and what was left of the pumpkin rolls and muffins, not to mention the sweeter than sweet scented candles that were lit.
He tugged on your hand as he stepped up to the counter.
“Can I get a black coffee with two creams and a hot chocolate?” He asks, dropping your hand to dig around for his wallet in the pocket of his jacket.
That was another thing, Mr. Potter had gifted him that very same wallet a handful of years ago. It was a hand-me-down, but that was the least of his concerns when he was given the leather wallet. He didn’t care about the scratches or worn corners. That was the first real gift he’d ever gotten that had true thoughtfulness behind it.
He remembered your order like the back of his hand, and he’d gotten the same thing every single time.
The drinks were ready in no time and he put some money on the counter with a little extra for a tip, handing you yours as he headed towards that ever familiar table tucked away in the corner by the window.
He ran his hand through his hair, sitting those sunglasses back on the top of his head once more to push his hair out of his face. Your smile was fond as you looked at him, a stubborn chunk of black hair dipping over his forehead and brushing against the tip of his nose anyway.
“Remember this place, love?” He asks, a knowing smile playing on his lips.
“As if I’d ever forget,” you say, a laugh leaving your lips.
Of course you did, it was hard to forget the one and only place you’d met Sirius black in a few years back.
It was a hectic afternoon, customer after customer flooding into the coffee shop especially now that the fall season was sweeping in at last. Things were always busy around this time of year, things were always busy around this time of day, so you’d come to expect the rush hour by now after all this time you’ve worked there.
Things were fairly simple once you got the hang of it, once you were able to do things with a practiced ease and it made the line of customers a little bit easier to move along. Most of them you knew by name, most of them you knew their orders because they never failed to get the very same thing each and every day that they came in. Some of them came in every day, some of them came in every week, some of them even had a select day of the week that they stopped in for their usual order.
It was one of the things you liked about working there. The regular customers were friendly as ever and made the workload a little easier given the prior knowledge of just what they get and how they like it, and it makes the time fly just a little bit faster.
The day hadn’t been your finest, you’d gone and spilled half a cup of hot chocolate on your apron, one you didn’t have the time to swap out and you’re quite sure you’d still had a smear of flour on your face from catching up on baking that morning before opening time. But that clumsiness was only in your nature and it was everything you expected from yourself.
“Y/n, can you cover up front? There’s someone waiting.”
That clumsiness only heightened at the sight of a new face, one you don’t believe you’ve seen frequent the shop before. He’s got a mess of black hair he keeps tucking behind his ear, yellow sunglasses dangling from the collar of a Queen t-shirt as his gaze focuses out of the window to his left. He’s got a pack of cigarettes tucked in the front pocket of his jean jacket and pin on the other.
You quit your staring, you quit while you were ahead as you smoothed your coffee stained apron.
“What can I get for you today?” You ask, capturing his attention as he looks at you.
You swallow thickly as your gaze meets gray eyes, a half smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. You take notice of the dimple in his chin and the strands of dark hair that dip down over his forehead as he leans against the counter.
“Just a black coffee with two creams, please,” he says.
“Your name?”
“Sirius.”
You nod with a smile as you snag a cup and the marker from your pocket, turning on your heel to head towards the coffee as you uncapped your marker before you very quickly made that realization and spun back around. In the process, you nearly tripped over your own two feet and you can feel the heat blossoming in your cheeks.
“Sorry, how do you spell that?” You ask, biting the inside of your cheek.
You hear the softness of chuckle as he looks at you, surprisingly not out of mocking even with the way you just made a fool of yourself in front of him. He spelled it out for you with a smile, and you turned away without tripping this time. You made his drink just how he’d asked, your heart racing in your chest the entirety of the two minutes it took to make it as you thought about his smile.
You tried your best to stall, to steal a little bit more time before you had to go back to the counter to face him once more. To give yourself a little more time to let the heat in your cheeks cool off.
You pressed on the lid to his cup and took a breath, turning around and heading back to the counter where he stood leaning against it still.
“One coffee with two creams for Sirius,” you say, setting the to-go cup on the counter as he dug around his pocket for some money.
He counted it out in his palm as his hair fell in his eyes, quickly brushed away as he ran his hand through his hair and set the money down in exchange for his drink, and a little extra for a tip.
You notice the way his gaze lingers on you for a little bit longer, you notice it as the seconds pass and your heart races. It lingers on you and you can see the way the corner of his mouth quirks up as he does, spinning the cup in his hand out of an absentminded habit as his gray gaze finally meets yours.
“You’ve got a little something on your face, love,” he says, pointing to his own cheek as a signal for your own face.
Your hand shoots up immediately to swipe across your cheek, the heat in your face flooding back once more as you swipe your fingers across your skin, pulling back to see that dreaded flour on your face that you knew was bound to be there from that morning.
“Oh, uh, thank you,” you say with a laugh and a smile, his following soon after as he nods.
There’s a sort of tension that simmers as you meet his gaze once more, as it bounces to his smile and you’re not quite sure if time actually stopped or if this is some cliche moving moment happening to you in the middle of your shift, or neither and you’re just being ridiculous. That, it’s probably that one.
Either way, you find yourself interrupted by the ding of the bell to your side on the counter from a customer growing impatient, a call of your name sounding over your shoulder just behind you. It all brings you back to reality.
“Have a nice day, Sirius,” you say, watching as he nods.
“I’ll see you around.”
With that, he offers you that same smile that had your mind on it for a ridiculous amount of time, that smile that made your heart race, and he turned away and headed out that door with a little ding of the bell over the door. He headed down the sidewalk as he snagged a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it before he disappeared around the corner.
“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Sirius asks, grabbing your attention as he gazes at you over the rim of his cup, gray eyes full of amusement.
“About what?” You ask, playing into it with a half smile even though you know you’re bound to be met with a tease.
“That time you tripped over your own two feet. I mean, do I really have that effect on people, love?” He jest, feeling you kick his foot just under the table.
There it is.
“Must you be so cocky, Pads?” You ask, your gaze glimmering with amusement as you purse your lips.
“I’m afraid I must,” he says.
You roll your eyes as you sip on your drink, eyeing the smile forming on his lips. “What?”
He chuckles as he shakes his head, his gaze dropping down as he swirls his drink in his hands and bites the inside of his cheek. His stare is more amused than ever as he looks at you again, that same lingering gaze set on you in the very same way it had been all those years ago and you knew it couldn’t have meant anything good. If it was anything like that very first time, you were bound to feel your cheeks grow hot even though you’ve known the troublemaker for years.
He doesn’t say anything at first, quiet as he lifts his hand and swipes it across the top of your lip and all the way to the corner of your mouth. He’s just as amused as he wipes away some hot chocolate that’s been left behind from your sip, his chuckle immediate.
“You’ve got a little something on your face, love,” he says, and you hear that teasing tone in his voice that he’s always got, that mischief dancing in his eyes.
“I truly think it’s you that’s the pain,” you huff, biting back your smile.
He chuckles. “‘S that so?”
You nod as you smile at him. “Very much so.”
He bites his lip momentarily as he looks at you, that pesky chunk of his hair falling back down in his face. “I take that as a compliment.”
He used your earlier words, of course he did, that’s just how Sirius Black is. Taunting and teasing in the most lighthearted of ways and that’s something that’s always been so, that’s something that always will be so forever and ever.
He’s got the tip of the arm of his sunglasses between his teeth, having given up on using them to hold back his hair as he looks around the little coffee shop where it all began, as he looks out the window at passers by, the corner of his mouth quirking up when he feels your gaze on him. It widens a fraction as he feels you get up, feels you swing around the edge of the table to take a seat in the booth bench next to him rather than sit across from him.
You’re quiet for a few moments as you rest your head on his shoulder. The foot traffic in the shop was dwindling as it neared closing time, growing less and less busy until it was starting to become just the two of you there. But you weren’t so focused on the details, not when you’ve been in your own little world with the one stealing your attention right next to you as you sat in your usual booth in the corner.
This was it, this was where it all began, this was where you’d met the chaos that is Sirius Black. The chaos that’s brought nothing but good into your life, nothing but a thrilling excitement that only he could bring.
You lift your head and look up at him, his gaze falling on you within a moment’s time. You see that smile, that smile that makes your heart race a mile a minute. You see it and you mirror it as you look at him. It’s only a matter of seconds before you lean up and press a kiss to his lips, soft and sweet and tasting of hot chocolate and coffee and a little bit of that smoke that never quite left his lips.
You kiss him before you wrap your hands around your cup, feeling his eyes on you. You take a sip as you stifle your smile, the arm of his glasses between his teeth once more as that smile he’s got remains as you look at him. You smile when you look away, head shaking as you nudge his foot with yours.
This is where it all began a handful of years ago. This is where you met Sirius Black for the very first time.
drunk@theweasleysredhair : sirius finds himself looking after a drunk you, who is determined to make it as difficult as possible for him to do so.
rain and chocolate chip cookies@blushylupin : you are close friends with a certain black dog and have been secretly in love with sirius, even though you’ve never spoken to each other. you eventually confess to snuffles about your feelings, unaware that he’s sirius.
inked@jamcspotters : (college au) “you’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everyone’s scared of you, and one day, i catch you watching cat videos doodling in the middle of a lecture, and, wow, you’re a dork.”
babe, you’re a habit@jamcspotters : (muggle au, slight nsfw) the number one rule of friends with benefits is no feelings involved, and you think you just broke it.
how to fall in love: for dummies@wizardwritings : (modern au) you and sirius have been best friends for years now, but after six months of living with him, you realize that maybe you lived him as more than a friend. the plan? to make him realize the same thing in just three, foolproof steps.
not that scary@yourssuccubus : you are scared of dogs and jump behind james in fear when sirius comes to surprise you in his animagus form.
flowers and inks@wizardwritings : “i work at a flower shop and you’re a tattoo artist from across the street, and you always come in here to practice drawing flowers, and you’re really hot.” *personal favorite*
kairos@seriouslyblacklikemysoul : you are james’ twin and a slytherin. he’s been lying and telling everyone you’re not related and you find out.
borrowed sweaters, stolen kisses@wizardwritings : in a game of truth of dare, you’re dared to sneak into the marauders’ dorm and steal one article of clothing to wear the next day. it just so happens that the jacket you snatched was sirius’ favorite jumper.
a cat person@seriouslyblacklikemysoul : sirius finds you in your animagus form: a cat. he becomes super attached to you, always trying to take you around, unaware that it’s you.
Pairings:Sirius Black x reader, Remus Lupin x reader’s brother, Sirius Black (post-Azkaban) x reader, Sirius Black x Slytherin!reader
Word Count: 2,663
Warnings: Torture, injury,
A/N: Ahh!!! Time to get excited I am finallyfinishing this damn story. I’m guessing there will be around 5-10 more chapters to tie up loose ends, unless I get a stroke of genius and continue the story lol. Thank you so much to everyone who still reads my stories and an extra thank you to everyone asking how I’ve been and taking time out of their day to think ab me, like UGH so sweet!!! Anywaysss lemme know what you guys think or if there’s anything you’d like to see/are confused about!
“Always were such a gossip,” Sirius teased, his figure slowly coming from the shadows, his wand out and poised. “I think you have me confused with Cissy, always had trouble keeping those pretty lips closed,” Bellatrix returned, turning her attention towards Sirius. “Yes, well, the pretty ones are always easier to remember,” Sirius said, slowly advancing. He didn’t dare look at you; the last thing Bellatrix needed to know was that not only were you Remus’ sister, but she could hurt Sirius just as deeply through you–almost a sort of two-for-one. It was a good thing he didn’t, for you were still seated, cradling your throbbing ankle. “Just as shallow as always, I see,” she sneered, “It seems as though your time in Azkaban taught you nothing, cousin.” “Back on the Dark Side, all loud and proud, and your precious Lord hasn’t even fully risen to power yet; seems as though you learned just as much as I did,” he threw back. Her face contorted in rage, and her words came out like a growl. “He broke me out of Azkaban! He saved me! How can he not be what he once was, yet touch Azkaban–no, break Azkaban? No one has escaped from Azkaban, the precious prison where you filthy Muggle-lovers love to throw true witches and wizards like me!” she shrieked madly. “First of all,Iescaped from Azkaban, all by myself, no Dark Lord pulling the strings with the dementors in league,” Sirius sneered. You held your breath as he spoke to her so brazenly. “And Good Godric, you are just as deluded as ever. He’s the one who put you there! You wouldn’t have even ended up in that godforsaken place had it not been for him! Neither of us would’ve been! Can’t you see that? You are only as important to him as what you can do for him. You are nothing to him. Can’t you see that?” And then, the cave was filled with bright green light. All noise ceased as the blood swam in your ears. A silent but surely blood-curdling scream to everyone else ripped from your throat, Sirius’ name leaving your lips as the pitch-black replaced the deadly green. You pulled yourself up against the bars, pain seeping into your screams as you did so, but you had to see he was okay; he had to be okay. The silence stretched on, Bellatrix’s enraged, heavy breathing filling the quiet. The feeling was seeping from your limbs, your knees on the verge of collapse, chest beginning to heave with angry, suffocated sobs.
“Oh, hit a soft spot, did I? Getting a bit touchy,” Sirius laughed suddenly. With a spring, he jumped back up, his hair bouncing with him. The feeling returned to your body like a tidal wave, and your knees finally gave out, but with relief. She hadn’t gotten him; he was still here and somehow going to save all of you. From your spot on the ground, you could’ve sworn you saw a flash of a shoe visible from the light of the mouth of the cave, but a second later, it was gone. “How dareyou speak of him like you know him! Like you understand him?! You know nothing!” she yelled, her voice rebounding off the walls of the tiny cave. “This is nothing like the last time. That was nothing but a blip in my Master’s grand plan. Your preciousfriends, ickle Jamesy and Lily with itty, bitty, baby Potter. All of them, they all meant nothing. Their deaths meant nothing. In fact, I’m told it was amusing for my Master to chase James as he fruitlessly searched out his wand, almost as amusing as Lily throwing herself in front of my Master’s wand, as if it would do anything at all. Stupid, stupidgirl–but really, what did we expect from a filthylittle Mudblood.” And then, Sirius lost it. Flashes of every color burst from the tip of his wand spells flying left and right. Using your good foot, you pushed off of the ground and flew to the corner, covering Alastor and Circe, the latter balled in his lap, doing your best to shield them. “You don’t get to say their names! To talk about them!” he shrieked madly, looking more and more like his cousin as he did so. “I’ll kill every last one of you!” “I wish I was there! I wish I would’ve gotten to see my Master leech the very last drop of light from James’ eyes!” she shrieked, cackling as she threw her own defensive spells. Amazingly, the two hadn’t been hit yet, still throwing curses with as much gusto as before. Idly, you wondered what had happened to her henchmen–shouldn’t this be the exact situation they were here for? Squinting in the darkness, you found them all strangely slumped over, dead to the situation around them.
Concerned for Remus, you next looked for him. Confused, you saw him working his way to a standing position, grimacing in pain as he did so. How was he standing on his own? Then, a second later, you saw a freckled arm appear from nowhere, and a second after that, Remus had been swallowed by the darkness. “What the hell?” you whispered, furrowing your brows in confusion. “What is happening?” Alastor whispered, a crazed look on his face now that Circe couldn’t see him. “It’s alright. You guys are going to be okay,” you reassured them. “That’s Sirius Black,” he whispered, terrified. “Like hell we’re going to be okay.” “The Daily Prophet’s propaganda machine never ceases to amaze,” you whispered, mostly to yourself. “He’s here to rescueus. He’s not bad, not evil, and certainly not a sodding Death Eater. It’s all a lie.” “And why would I believe that?” he frantically whispered back, spells still pinging off the walls. “If he’s a Death Eater, then why the hell is he trying to kill Bellatrix in their own cave?” you hissed, trying to remain patient. “You’ve just got to trust me on this. Okay?” He gave you a look but nodded slowly after a minute. “Alright,” he said, encircling Circe tighter. “I’ve got to get out and help him, please tell me you have something to pick a lock with?” you whispered. “There’s a rusty nail under that bench, in the hole in the rock. I never knew how to use it,” he said, nodding to the opposite corner of the cell. Feeling incredibly thankful for your Muggle cousins your mother called ‘bad influences,’ you pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead. “We’re going to make it out of this, okay? Almost there,” you said, gripping his face seriously. He merely looked at you with the same expression as always.
Crawling over to the bench, you dug the nail from the hole with your fingers, shaking as you turned to the bars to poke your arm through the bars. Putting all your weight on your left foot, you fumbled about for a bit as your hands searched for the lock. Finally finding the lock, you pushed the nail in and quickly got to work trying to pick the lock. Twisting your wrist to try a new angle, you cursed loudly when you dropped the pin. “No!” you all but screamed, trying your damnedest to get the pin and help Sirius. “Alohomora,” you suddenly heard a young girl’s voice whisper. With a click, the lock opened, and the door swung open. Confused but grateful for the assistance, you figured your best bet was to crawl and keep in the darkness. Heart pounding in your ears, you trusted Sirius not to hit you by accident as you got closer. Finally, when you were within arm’s reach, you took a deep breath and went for it. Reaching out, you wrapped both arms around Bellatrix and held tightly as she screeched in shock and thrashed madly in your arms. Pushing off with your good foot, you took her to the floor. Through her thrashing, you managed to get your hand wrapped around hers and pried her fingers from her death grip on her wand. The tell-tale light clatter of wood on stone gave you a new rush of energy. “What? Who?” she shrieked, trying her best to turn and see who had her. “Leave! Him! Alone!” you yelled, holding tighter as she thrashed. “It’s over, Bellatrix,” Sirius suddenly huffed. Just as shocked as she was, you turned your neck and saw Sirius, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Remus, and Tonks all standing with their wands pointed directly at the two of you. You were pleased to find Hermione gripped Bellatrix’s wand in her hand. “The filthy Mudblood darehold my wand?!” and the thrashing started once more. Ignoring the pain, you hooked your leg around her hip, turning to smother her. “Shut up!” you roared, bringing your fists down on her. “Y/N?” Sirius said, his voice laden with surprise. “Somebody get the bloody attack dog already!” she shrieked from under you. You felt a strong arm wrap around your torso and lift you from Bellatrix with ease, all the while thrashing to get back to her. “We’re leaving,” Remus heaved, his chest stained with blood. “And we’re taking them with us,” you said, pointing to Alastor and Circe, who were just now crawling timidly from the cell. “It won’t matter,” she said, grinning a mad smile as her teeth were red with blood. “We’re going to win.” “No you won’t,” Harry spat, looking angry. At his anger, Bellatrix let out another cackling laugh. “Silencio!” you shouted, snatching Sirius’ wand from his hand. Sirius looked at you, highly offended, and you placed the wand back in his still outstretched palm. “I was tired of hearing the bloody twit squawk.” “I second that. In fact,” Hermione added, “PetrificusTotalus.” And with that, Hermione used Bellatrix’s own wand to bewitch her into stillness, her face frozen in an angry shriek.
“With her own wand,” you clucked, giving Hermione a small smile. “Excellent touch.” “I vote we leave,” Ron said, looking around anxiously. “I second that,” Remus said, laughing breathlessly. Tonks wrapped her arm around Remus’ waist and slowly led him from the cave. Hermione guided Alastor and Circe out into the snow, Harry and Ron following. Just as you turned to leave, Sirius spun you around and pulled you to him. “I’m so, so, sorry, Y/N,” Sirius said against your ear. “C-can’t, breathe,” you choked out. He loosened his grip, but didn’t let go. “I never meant any of what I said–” he started, but before he could finish, you reached up and grabbed hold of him, wrapping your legs around him.
“I’d kiss you, but I’m pretty sure I got sick back there,” you laughed with tears in your eyes. Joining you in laughter, Sirius held you tightly against him. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Godric. I was so worried about you and–” seeming to remember, he dropped you and whipped around. “Moony!” “Ow!” you yelped out, your ankle exploding in pain once more. “Are you alright?” Sirius said, spinning around to you once more and looking concerned. “Better than I was when I first arrived,” you joked–he didn’t laugh. “Just broke my ankle, is all.” “Oh, well, if that’s all then,” he rolled his eyes at you. Turning his back to you, he squatted slightly and held his arms out. “Go on, then.” Rolling your eyes but grinning, you hopped onto his back. As the two of you stepped out of the cave and into the cold night air, you saw Hermione speaking to Alastor and Circe. “I’m alright, honest. I can stand on my good foot, you go and see my brother,” you said as Sirius came to a halt. “Are you sure? I can have Ron take my place,” he asked you, turning to look at you. “Promise,” you smiled, pecking his cheek. Smiling back, he gingerly set you on your feet, looking concerned when you winced. “Are you alright?” Hermione asked them. Dropping to her knees, she enveloped Circe in a hug as she cried freely. Alastor didn’t answer; he still had the dead look in his eye, staring blankly into the distance, seemingly indifferent to the cold around him. You were about to walk over to him when you saw his eyes swim back into focus. “H-Harry Potter?” Alastor blinked, life slowly seeping back into him. “Yeah,” Harry half-smiled, walking up to him. “Are you okay? You’re bleeding.” “I’ve been bleeding for months,” he answered darkly. “But not anymore, thanks to you.” “Honestly, I barely did anything at all,” Harry answered honestly. “In fact, I wasn’t even supposed to be here.” “But you are,” Alastor said simply. With a rush of emotion, you realized Harry was the answer. Though he might not have been the formidable wizard his reputation held him up to be, you saw he was the equal to Voldemort; he was the life to Voldemort’s death, the good to his evil. He always had been. More importantly, though, the people believed him to be Voldemort’s equal, the only hope against him. As long as Harry lived, and as long as people saw him living, fighting against Voldemort, hope would live on. Looking away from Harry and Alastor, you noticed Ron approaching you, shrugging out of his coat. “Here, you’ll freeze,” he said, holding the dark-blue fabric out to you. “Oh, no, I’m alright,” you lied, a cold shiver betraying you as the wind picked up. “I’m not taking it back,” he said stubbornly. “Besides, if you get this one all bloodied up, maybe Mum will buy me one of my own finally.” “Alright, thanks, Ron,” you said after a moment, smiling and taking the heavy fabric from him.
Pulling on the still slightly-warm fabric, the forest around you was suddenly filled with the yells of Sirius. “What? So, you just figured you go on and take him on yourself, did you? Aren’t you supposed to be the bloody smart one? I mean, exactly whatis the point of the mirrors if you don’t even alert me to at least let me know what you’re walking into? You could’ve died, you stubborn, detrimentally independent, crazy bastard! And then what? Just gonna leave me then too?” “No, of course–” Remus started, looking both pained and guilty. “No, I’m still bloody talking,” Sirius cut him off, looking fierce. “Don’t you ever do that to me again, Remus or I swear on James’ grave it’ll be me who finishes the job. In fact, if they hadn’t already done you in so well, I’d take you to the floor right now for putting me–us, through this. Matter of fact, where are the miserable sods? I’ve got some things to work out just now.” Tearing off once more towards the caves, Harry and Ron followed him dutifully while Tonks stood with Remus, grabbing his face and wiping the grime from it, the tears in her eyes freely falling.
“Oh, darling,” she said softly, pulling his tall frame down to her. After a moment, you saw Remus’ shoulders shake slightly, and looked away from the tender scene. “Guys, they really need a doctor, as does Y/N and Remus. We need to go,” Hermione fretted, using a cloth to sop up some of the blood on Alastor’s face. “I’ll go on and take Remus to Hogwarts, Madam Pomfrey will know where to start. The rest of you can meet us, yeah?” Tonks suggested. “Here, take Alastor too, I’ll bring Circe. I don’t think I’m strong enough to apparate with both just yet,” you said. “I forget they aren’t old enough yet,” Tonks sighed, gesturing for Alastor to join her. “Go on, Alastor, Circe, and I will be right behind you,” you assured him. “Alright,” he said, his voice dead again. With a pop, Remus, Tonks, and Alastor disappeared from view, leaving you, Hermione, Harry, Ron, Circe and Sirius in the cold.
Pairings:Sirius Black x reader, Sirius Black x Gryffindor!reader, marauders era! Sirius Black x reader, Marauders x reader Warnings:Dueling, violence, blood/injury Word Count: 3,683
“Please,” Lucius scoffed. “It’s likely Sirius here would be expelled if he was found in another duel.” His blonde hair glinted white in the pale moonlight, and it was mildly distracting.
“Been watching me then, have we? I don’t blame you. I mean, I am simplydevilishly handsome,” Sirius responded, checking himself out in the glass panes of the greenhouse. Bellatrix made an exasperated noise, and Lucius clicked his tongue.
“Sorry, handsome. I don’t swing that way,” Lucius sneered, Bellatrix giggled from next to him.
“Sure?” Sirius grinned maliciously.
Lucius’ skin was already ghostly pale, but somehow it turned paler. Looking over at him curiously, he mouthed Yaxley’s name, and you immediately caught on to him. Your mind conjured the image of the two blonde boys trapped in a heated embrace. Grinning a little, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, pushing the thought. After a beat, Bellatrix gasped, and Lucius produced an almost howl of rage.
“Stop that!” he growled.
“Twitchy…” Sirius crooned. At his utterance, you pulled the bubble back, and their eyes unglazed and refocused on the two of you. “Let’s not play with our food.”
“How did you do that?” Lucius yelled, his pale features pink with rage.
“You like it? It’s a specialty of mine,” you grinned at him. Just as you turned to Bellatrix, you saw a slight flick of her wand, and you went airborne. Time seemed to move in slow motion as you soared through the dark night–the greenhouse, however, was coming up on you at an alarming rate. As quick as your brain could, you cast a hovering spell; it managed to catch you before you hit the ground, but not before you crashed through the roof of the greenhouse, glass shattering all around you. Several shards slit your skin, and you yelled in fury.
“Twitch?” Sirius called, voice sounding anxious as the sounds of spells clashing filled the night.
“Alright!” you called, gritting your teeth and steeling your stomach as you pulled a decent-sized shard of glass from the inside of your forearm. The feeling nauseated you, but you had to get back to Sirius. Hasting to help, you trampled over the broken glass and pots inside the wrecked greenhouse, taking care to steer very clear of the tentacula plant.
Bellatrix and Lucius were flinging spells with all they had, and you could tell it was all Sirius could do to simply block them. Bellatrix must’ve thought that would’ve taken you out, as neither of them looked over to see if you were coming. Seizing the opportunity, you pushed open the glass door and used your own wand to fling Bellatrix. She was sent flying and landed with a dull thud against a large tree trunk nearby. Even from the distance you could see her eyes bulge as she gasped like a fish out of water, trying to get air back into her stunned lungs.
From your left the sound of breaking glass sounded and you turned to find Sirius tucked into a roll, sending himself far away from the exploding glass. Just as he came to a stop, he twisted his wand towards Lucius and sent his wand flying into the air with a simple disarming spell. Turning back towards Bellatrix, she struggled to get to her feet. Her savage hair was whipping wildly in the wind, and the sight gave you an idea of your own. Pointing your wand, you grinned and spoke.
“Calvorio,” and with that said, her hair began falling from her scalp. The first few chunks caused shocked gasps to fall from her lips, but after the fifth or sixth tuft, she was beginning to truly freak out.
“Lucius!” she screamed, causing the blonde to whip his head around to look for her. Sirius seized his chance and sent him flying backwards.
“Wha’ in the ruddy hell?!” a gruff voice began booming from somewhere nearby. You and Sirius locked eyes–fun as this was, Lucius was right; another fight would not be good for Sirius’ standing.
Bellatrix was positively wailing now, her hands shaking as they ran over her quickly balding head. Using her noises as cover, you ran back towards Sirius and grabbed his robes, pulling him back from advancing on Lucius.
“Come on, we have to go!” you said, pulling on him, but for all the good it did, you might as well have not said anything at all.
“Sirius, we have to go!” you pushed, this time raising your mental voice to where he winced and covered his ears.
“Oi!” he called, turning back to you.
“Sirius, if you want to live to duel another day, we’ve gotta disappear, and we’ve got to do it now!” you hissed desperately. The gamekeeper’s footsteps began to shake the ground with their proximity and intensity. Just when you thought he’d be caught, he whirled around and pushed you back into the tunnel, which closed off at a flick of his wand, and the two of you were consumed by the darkness.
“Wha’s wrong? Ou’ here screamin like you bin stung by a skrewt,” the gameskeeper said gruffly, likely coming up on Bellatrix and Lucius. “Good Godric! The greenhouse! Ooh, Professor Sprout is notgoing to be happy abou’ tha’.”
“Who cares about the stupid greenhouse? Clearly, she’s been cursed; even you could see that you oaf,” Lucius sneered, causing Sirius to get riled up once more. You grabbed his wand arm and put it down, putting your other hand to your lips.
“Oaf?” the gameskeeper boomed, equally outraged. “Now you jus’ watch yer mouth, Malfoy. C'mon, let’s go see wha’ Slughorn has ter say abou’ it all,”
And slowly, the sobs of a deranged Bellatrix grew quieter and quieter until all you could hear was the wind whistling through the now shattered frames of the greenhouse.
“C'mon,” you said after a moment, grabbing Sirius’ wrist. He grinned after Lucius and Bellatrix in a pleased sort of way and let you drag him into the tunnel, whistling a tune softly.
“Are you whistling?” you asked, laughing slightly.
“We just got ol’ Lucy and Bellatrix nice and stuck. Even Slughorn can’t ignore the broken greenhouse!” he let out a barking laugh into the tunnel, and you couldn’t help but join in at the thought of a bald Bellatrix getting berated by Slughorn.
“Nice jinx, by the way, she loves her hair,” Sirius said, winking as you smiled back at him. You thought a funny feeling erupted in your stomach, but it must’ve just been the excitement of them getting into trouble.
“Wasn’t it? I thought she’d like it,” you laughed at the image of her hair falling out onto the dark grass, her deranged sobs filling the night air as she tried to keep it in place with her fingers. “Gives excellent ammunition for later.”
“You’re gonna get into trouble for that one of these days,” Sirius said as the two of you slowed to a walking pace in the dark, dank tunnel.
“I’m friends with you lot; I’m always in trouble,” you reminded him, laughing.
“Touche, Twitchy,” he laughed back. “Though, it’s mostly James, and I really that get into trouble–everybody’s got a soft spot for Remus, ya know, the teenage werewolf.”
“I was aware of that, funnily enough. And I think you forget about Peter. He doesn’t get any special treatment.” you reminded him, with an image of an anxious Peter wringing his hands behind James as McGonagall scolded.
“Well, I was trying to, and here you are bringing him up again,” he teased, shaking his head, a smile on his face.
“What’s your problem with him, anyway?” you asked him, “I mean, I know he’s always preferred James, but it seems it’s about all the two of you can do to sit in the same room anymore.”
“I dunno, I’ve never really liked him. Prongs does, of course, because Peter absolutely fawns over him. I don’t think he’d even be brought along if he didn’t spend every other minute kissing James’ arse–and I’m supposed to be the arrogant one,” he rolled his eyes.
“So, you don’t like him because he doesn’t have a slightly homoerotic infatuation with you?” you asked, a laugh slipping through your lips.
“Well, when you put it like that, I suppose it does sound a bit odd,” he laughed with you, “But really, that’s just part of it. I dunno, I just don’t trust him. There’s something about him that just rubs me the wrong way, can’t quite put my finger on it. Can’t believe the little sod made it into Gryffindor, sometimes I think every now and then that hat makes a mistake.” Sirius said.
“Well, it’s bound to. It’s a hat, innit?” you laughed.
“And then there’s the whole thing with his Animagi being a rat. I mean, come on, does that not make anybody else nervous?” he pointed out, looking at you imploringly.
“It’s a little weird, I suppose. But we can’t exactly go judging each other for our animal forms. I mean, does Remus strike you as a werewolf?” you asked.
“Well, of course not, but that’s not voluntary, is it? He didn’t choose that form. I mean, James choosing a stag makes sense– bloke has to be the biggest one out of all of us–plus it just sounds cool, stag,” he said in a funny voice, making you laugh. “I dunno, I think mine makes sense. A big black dog,”
“Dark and scary looking, but really a softie at heart,” you teased, nudging him with your shoulder. The two of you finally entered back into the castle, older students milling about as they made their way back to their common rooms. As you made your way into the main corridor, the two of you saw a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin lip-locked in a notch in the walls, causing a slight snicker from the both of you–though, they didn’t seem to notice.
“I dunno, I think Peter’s makes sense. I mean, he’s a rat of a boy. Always nervous, always simpering, rubbing his hands together like he does, always trying to worm his way out of things,” you said, understanding Sirius’ point of view more and more as you spoke.
“Precisely. Sod makes me nervous, and I’ve got my bloody eyes on him,” he all but growled, a dark look coming over his hooded features. For a second, he looked just like a true Black. He must’ve realized the same thing because, after a moment, he shook his head and let the boyish glow back into his cheeks.
“Now, yours, well yours makes perfect sense. A cute little bunny wabbit,” he said, turning to you and brushing the tip of your nose with his finger.
You rolled your eyes, though your heartbeat funnily from his touch; the boys loved to tease you for your inherently cute and slightly feministic animagi of a spotted white rabbit, the spots being the same color as your hair.
“I’m not cute,” you grumbled, beginning your ascent up the stairs to Gryffindor tower for the second time that night.
“Say that again, but slower,” he teased, laughing at you. Just as you were about to retort with a smart remark, your foot caught on one of the stairs, and you let out a swear word as you tumbled forward. Sirius managed to catch just before your face smashed against the staircase, and for that, you were grateful.
“Thanks,” you said, blushing slightly as he helped you up, hands resting on your hips to steady you.
“Alright?” he asked, his storm grey eyes holding yours.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you said, turning to continue up. He kept a hand on the small of your back the rest of the way up, probably just ensuring you wouldn’t fall without him noticing once more.
“And where have you two been?” the Fat Lady asked, looking appraisingly down at you and Sirius, probably knowing it was nothing good. You were grateful for the long sleeves that hung on your robes–they blocked the dozen slits decorating your arms. They stung as the fabric brushed against them occasionally, and you were happy you made it to the common rooms for the night so you could shed them.
“Out,” Sirius said, eliciting an exasperated sigh from her. “Pillyknox.”
And with that, she swung open, grumbling about a lack of respect as she did so.
“Oi!” James called immediately upon seeing his best friend. At the noise, James rose from his spot on the couch and bounded over to Sirius, running a hand through his hair subconsciously as he did so. “What were you doing out by the greenhouses?”
“How’d yo–you checked the map, didn’t you?” Sirius asked.
“Course. The two of you just bloody disappeared after Twitch here spent all night in a mood. Makes a bloke nervous,” he said as the group of you made your way back over to where James had been seated. Remus and Peter sat on the floor next to the couch, locked in a game of chess; Peter squealed with delight as Remus’ rook took out a knight of his, the sound of scattering pieces joining his laughter. Lily was laid out on the couch, reading a book, her scarlet hair glinting off the roaring fire behind her. Several boys watched her as she read, and their eyes fell as she grinned up at the arriving James, all looking quite put out.
You followed Sirius to the couches and noticed about the same number of girls’ eyes trailing him. Disgruntled, you tore your robes off, seemingly momentarily forgetting about your arms. Hissing, they reminded you of their presence.
Lily’s head flicked up from her book at your telltale wince of pain, and she gasped softly.
“Your arms,” she breathed, closing her book.
“What the bloody hell happened?” Remus asked, concern lacing his tone as he got up from his game.
“I’m getting to it,” you said, pressing your sleeve to a cut above your eyebrow.
“Oh, stop it, you’re just going to make a mess,” she said, pulling out her wand. “Tergio.”
And with a funny sucking sensation, for the second time that day, you felt all the blood be siphoned off your face. Putting your other sleeve to the same bloody spot, it came back dry, and you smiled at her.
“Cheers.”
Turning, you made to sit against the couch when all five let out an involuntary gasp.
“Fuck,” you sighed, knowing it had to be another cut. “Who knew greenhouses could put up such a fight.”
You tried to joke, but evidently, whatever had made them gasp was too consuming.
“Well, what is it then?” you asked, starting to get worried.
“Well, goodnight, boys,” Lily finally spoke, handing her book to James and picking up your hand.
“What?” you asked blankly.
“We’re going to see Madam Pomfrey, of course,” she replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“No, we aren’t,” you said, pulling your hand out of Lily’s as you neared the door.
“What?” she blinked. “Twitch, your arms are covered in cuts, and the entirety of the back of your shirt is soaked in blood. We have to go.”
“No, they’ll know the greenhouse was me, which means they’ll know it wasn’t just me, and Sirius can’t get into trouble again. There’s only so much even Dumbledore can do,” you reasoned, shaking your head.
“James,” Lily sighed, looking to him for support.
“Er,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck. On the one hand, he was surely worried about you and wanted nothing more than to please Lily, but on the other, he didn’t want to watch his best friend leave Hogwarts because of their behavior.
“Thanks,” she said venomously. “Twitch, seriously, let’s go.”
“She’s right,” Remus sighed finally.
“Thank you, Remus,” she sighed gratefully.
“I’m not going,” you said, crossing your arms stubbornly–you fought the hiss of pain that would prove their point.
“You are so bloody stubborn,” Lily said, putting her hands on her hips and taking a calming breath. You met her glare with one of your own, and after a moment, she unclenched.
“Fine,” she said breezily. “Let’s go up to your room then, boys.”
“Sorry?” James said, coughing slightly on his tea.
“Well, if she won’t go to Madam Pomfrey, she’s going to have to let us close up the cuts because her shirt is the same color as the scarlet drapery. Dunno about you lot, but I don’t fancy my blood drenching my shirt scarlet.” Lily said in a commanding tone.
“She’s right; she’s losing a lot of blood,” Remus said thoughtfully, his hands brushing your back ever so slightly. Your stomach clenched with nerves at the thought of not only leaving your wellbeing in the hands of the Marauders, but having them do so in their bedspace with you at least semi-undressed.
“Right, I’ll just lead the way, then,” James said haltingly, probably nervous about having girls in his room as well.
“Wait!” Peter squeaked, rushing up to James and whispering frantically in his ear.
“Right, Wormy, yes, go on and do that. Thank you.” James said evasively, his face slightly ashen. With that, Peter darted up the stairs immediately.
“I’ll grab my kit,” Remus said and followed Peter up.
“Right then, follow me, ladies,” James said suavely, smirking back at the two of you. Lily rolled her eyes but took his outstretched hand.
You were starting to feel a little funny and figured it best to move more slowly than usual. As you did so, you noticed people around you watching the group of you, eyes flitting between James and Lily and Sirius and you–evidently, they couldn’t tell which was a juicer. They whispered loudly behind their hands, making it hard not to listen in passing.
“Nosy sods,” Sirius shook his head, evidently noticing as well. He followed you up and remained almost silent as you followed Lily into the room.
The rooms were decorated in nearly the same way as the girls’, but their room was already undoubtedly messier. Various items of clothing were strewn everywhere, and bits of parchment resting on every other available surface–most were in Remus’ handwriting. It hadn’t even been a day, how the hell did Remus write so much already? Where did this mess come from?
Peter was seated on his bed cross-legged, munching on a chocolate frog as he watched the group of you. His bed area was decorated with candy wrappers and crumbs.
“Here,” Sirius said as James shut the door behind you all. With a grand sweep, he knocked everything on his bed onto the floor and beckoned you.
“Thanks, Siri,” you smiled and sat on his bed. “I dunno what you guys were planning to do, but we should probably get to it. I feel a bit funny.”
“Moony!” Sirius barked suddenly, causing you to jump a bit.
“Calm down, Pads, I’ve got it right here,” he responded, shuffling back across the room with a small chest in his hands. His arms and hands were littered with scars, and you felt a rush of sympathy as you sat littered with cuts of your own. Remus had to do this once a month, for forever, with the only hope of his being he never hurt anyone–hurting himself instead was of no matter.
Remus, seemingly in the element of a Mediwizard, took your arms in his surprisingly soft hands and turned them over once each.
“Mostly superficial, aside from the one on the inside,” he noted, gesturing to the area you’d pulled the shard out of on your left arm. “Go on and lay down on your stomach.”
“Yes, Mediwizard,” you teased. He gave a small smile as you turned to lay down.
With your face in Sirius’ sheets now, his smell was overwhelming. Pine needles were the first scent you could pick out, like the bed of a forest. The sickly sweet smell of the tobacco he insisted on smoking was next, covering everything in a light layer. You were amazed the smell held up like that over the holiday–there was no musk, no heavy smell like he slept there every night, but the scent held up enough to decipher it.
“You really should go see Madam Pomfrey to close those up,” Lily said once more. Turning your head, you found her lounged across what must’ve been James’ bed–it was right next to Sirius’. You said nothing but made sure she saw you roll your eyes. “Fine, go on, then. Be stubborn.”
“I will, thanks,” you responded, grinning slightly. It was her turn to roll her eyes.
“Er, Lily, could you come lift Twitch’s shirt?” Remus asked, clearing his throat several times.
“Eh, Sirius can do it,” Lily shrugged, having grabbed a book from Remus’ pile and flipping through it. Stuck between hissing for her to do it and liking the idea of Sirius doing it instead, you remained quiet.
“Er, I mean alright,” Sirius said from next to you.
“Not as if you aren’t well-practiced in that,” James laughed as he collapsed next to Lily. You stiffened at the thought.
“C'mon, Lils,” you said, suddenly less interested as Sirius was already so well-practiced. With a small sigh, Lily pushed off of James’ bed.
“Great, cheers, mate,” Sirius griped, throwing James a dirty look. Seemingly realizing his mistake, he winced back apologetically as Lily lifted your shirt gingerly.
“So, what happened, anyway?” she asked as she resumed her spot.
“Why don’t you tell it, Twitch?” Sirius offered.
“Too tired, you do it,” you said, your head beginning to spin. Just as you were about to say something, you heard the chest open and knew Remus was seconds away from helping.
“Well, after we left the Great Hall, she was still pouting and pissy, probably planning to mull over it all night–hate it when she does that. So instead, I suggested we go after them.” Sirius started.
James let out an appreciative rip of laughter.
You felt Remus’ hands begin to touch against your back, and somehow, the room seemed to spin faster.
“Guys, I think,” you started, interrupting Sirius’ story. “I don’t feel…”
You tried to get the sentence out, but your tongue wouldn’t cooperate before the darkness took you under.
Pairings:Sirius Black x reader, Sirius Black x Gryffindor!reader, marauders era! Sirius Black x reader, Marauders x reader
Warnings:language, hinted fighting
Word Count: 3,240
A/N:Holy shit I’m aliveeee. School kicked my ass this semester as always :) but it’s all over now. I’ll probably be uploading another chapter of this soon and I even opened up my Grimmauld Place doc for the first time in months. Idkkkk. Anyways Merry Christmas and enjoy! Because it’s a bit of a cliffhanger I’ll be posting the next chapter hopefully tomorrow!
Ambient noise filled the Receiving Chamber as you walked into the towering castle. Turning towards the Great Hall, the sound only increased. Each of the tables had a few dozen people already seated, chatting quietly. The girl from Hufflepuff with a horrid case of acne seemed to have found the right salve, and the redhead from Ravenclaw started wearing glasses. Turning towards the Slytherin tables, you took your time to scowl at a haughty-looking Narcissa Black. She turned to her deranged sister and whispered, and both of them turned towards you, giggling. Your face flushed with anger as you looked at the two of them; whatever had been said had now been told to the whole group, and they all turned towards you, snickering.
“What?” you snarled, unable to hold back. This, of course, only caused them to slightly lower their laughter but continue.
“Problem, mates?” Sirius said, stopping beside you and draping a playful yet protective arm around your shoulders.
“Not at all, cousin of mine,” Narcissa said, smiling wickedly. Even as hateful as she was, there was no denying her beauty; her pale skin and equally pale hair seemed to almost twinkle underneath the thousands of floating candles lighting the hall.
“Cousin?” Sirius snorted. “Haven’t you heard? I’ve been disowned, not your family anymore, Cissy,” he sneered, using Bellatrix’s nickname.
Disowned? You knew he came to James’ early this summer, but had no idea that was the reason. It took everything in you to quell your curiosity. Besides, to get any real answers out of Sirius, you knew you’d have to get him alone.
“You say that as if that’s a good thing,” Bellatrix hissed from next to Narcissa, her lip curling as she glared at Sirius.
“Honestly, it’s about bloody time,” Narcissa sniffed. “Never did behave as a Blackshould.”
But Sirius ignored her, instead choosing to respond to Bellatrix.
“A good thing?” Sirius snorted, “Bella, darling, let’s be reasonable here. I hate you, you hate me, now we’re not even family,” Sirius rolled his eyes, continuing walking once more towards the Gryffindor table. “Even you have to admit it’s better this way. Now you hateful, snobbish, deluded lot can have your way with each other without any interference from little old me.”
“Oh, it is; we’ve finally gotten rid of the blood traitor.” Bellatrix snarled, enraged he’d bad mouth their family. “Look at you, hanging round with that mudblood. It’s pathetic.”
The group of you simultaneously tensed at the word Bellatrix used.
“Indecent, really. I expected better of you,” Narcissa sighed, her lips turning up in a small smile. James stepped in at that point.
“Watch your mouth, Black,” he said, taking a step next to Sirius.
“Careful how you speak to a lady, Potter,” Lucius sneered from a couple spaces down. Narcissa’s eyes flicked down to his spot, and her grin grew.
“Uh oh, looks like I’ve made the Mudblood lover angry, watch out, everybody!” Bellatrix cackled, her wild mane of hair shaking with laughter.
“I would, or maybe you should ask Severus here what happened last time he pissed Jamesy here off,” you lilted, gesturing to the sallow boy hunched over in front of them. His head snapped up, and he blushed with anger. Smirking, you decided to push him farther; if it wasn’t to be a secret anymore, you might as well have fun with it.
Closing your eyes and hoping it worked–you’d never done it on so many people–you took a deep breath.
Communicating in your special way with one person was easy, pushing the same thought to several people was possible–but much more difficult. It’d taken till 4th year to push to more than two people at once. Conjuring the image of an upside-down Snape, with his sickly, pale legs on display, you pushed hard towards the seated Slytherins in front of you. Clenching your fists, you pushed harder, finally breaking into a smile as you heard each of their gasps.
Suddenly, you felt a hand on the small of your back, steering you away. Opening your eyes, you found it was Sirius leading you.
“Come on, Twitch,” he said, pulling you towards an already seated Remus and Peter.
“It’s all right, I’m done,” you shrugged, smiling nastily at a glowering Bellatrix over your shoulder. Suddenly, she was on her feet.
“How did you do that?” she screeched madly, her wand in hand.
And then all hell broke loose.
Suddenly Remus, Lily, James, Peter, and Sirius all had their wands drawn, pointed at the equally tense group in front of you. Narcissa, Lucius, Severus, and Avery had joined Bellatrix. Your temper was running wild, heart hammering in your chest, the sound drowning out much of the chatter in the Great Hall–or perhaps everyone had stopped to watch.
“Like this,” you sneered, this time pushing an image of a wailing Bellatrix, sobbing as her hands were covered in boils. Just as she opened her mouth to hex you, Slughorn’s massive figure teetered into view.
“Malfoy? Black? Potter? Black? What in Merlin’s beard is going on here?” he said, looking confused.
“Bellatrix here pulled her wand on Y/N. We’re just backing her up, Professor,” Lily simpered, batting her eyes at Slughorn.
“As are we,” Severus said severely, lowering his eyes at James, the both of them still holding their wands to one another.
“Alright, alright. Enough! You boys–the testosterone between Slytherin and Gryffindor will be the death of this school–everybody put down your wands!” he bellowed, causing everyone who wasn’t already watching the scene to look at you now.
“Now then, you five, get to your table,” he said, pushing the group of you forward. James and Severus glared at each other until James sank into his seat and was distracted by Lily whispering in his ear. Your eyes, however, had yet to leave Bellatrix’s–who glared at you still from her seat at the Slytherin table.
“Let it alone, she’s insane,” Sirius whispered into your ear as the two of you sat opposite James and Lily. Pulling up an image of you viciously hexing Bellatrix, you pushed to her again and were pleased to watch her fist hit against the table, causing everyone nearby to jump.
“Maybe I’m just as bad,” you shrugged, watching her squirm in her seat.
“Hey, look at me,” Sirius said. Unable to tear your eyes away, you continued to fuck with her, pulling up various hexes for her to watch.
“Hey,” Sirius said once more, this time grabbing your jaw with his hand and pulling your face to look at him, “I said look at me. Stop.”
Something in the tone in his voice kept you from smartly retorting–besides, how were you supposed to focus with his storm-grey eyes boring intensely into yours. A tingly feeling erupted in the depths of your stomach, and you complied. After a moment, you came to your senses and pulled yourself out of his grip.
“Fine,” you grumbled, cheeks beginning to heat as Sirius’ fingers left your face tingling.
“She’s gonna end up killing that cousin of yours one of these days,” Lily said, looking at the two of you from her seat with James across the table.
“You say that as if it’s a bad thing. She’d just as soon curse you dead right in this bloody hall,” you grumbled, crossing your arms.
“They’ll get theirs,” Remus reasoned, closing his book as Dumbledore scraped his chair, rising to begin his speech.
“Yeah, I’ll be the one giving it to them,” you replied, growling slightly.
“That’s my girl. Give ‘em hell, Twitch,” James smiled, popping a bite into his mouth. “I’ll be right behind you,”
“Alright, you two,” Lily said, quelling the two of your aggression. Though you remained silent, you seethed in your seat and caught Bellatrix’s eyes frequently. The surrounding chatter quickly quieted as Dumbledore reached the podium.
“Another year passed, another year started,” he began, smiling warmly at the students around him. “How lucky I am to stand before your smiling faces. How fortunate we are to fill you with knowledge.”
Though he continued speaking, James’ commentary drowned him out.
“That’s not all they’ll be filled with, eh, Pads?” he grinned, nudging Sirius’ arm from across the table. Sirius didn’t have time to respond before James yelped.
He pulled his leg up from under the table where you’d kicked his shin and used his other hand to rub his bicep where Lily had pinched him.
“It was a joke,” he pouted.
The two of you shared a small grin and turned back to Dumbledore.
“–but that’s of no matter. Now, let us welcome a new batch!” With that, he spread open his arms in greeting, and the doors of the Great Hall swung in. Led by a tight-lipped McGonagall, the first years shuffled quickly behind her, their faces a mix of intense anxiety and awe of the room before them.
“Oh! Just look at the ickle firsties!” Lily simpered, smiling widely at the group–a small boy with curly black hair tripped over his robe.
They reached the top of the room, and all stiffened as McGonagall grabbed the ancient hat and placed it on the rickety stool.
“This is the Sorting Hat, its job is to place you in your House. The House which the hat places you in shall be your family here. You shall dine together, study together, and sleep in the same rooms. Once I call your name, take a seat on this stool and place the hat on your head. That hat shall then place you, and you will take your seats at your table.” McGonagall explained, eyes dancing over the students. One of the students towards the back seemed to actually be shaking.
Unrolling the piece of parchment, she cleared her throat.
“Abernathy, Owen,” she called, and a boy with curly back hair shuffled his way to the stage.
“Do not fancy trading places with any of those lot,” Peter muttered, looking anxious for them.
“Wasn’t that bad, Wormtail,” Remus responded, casting a quick look back at him.
“Easy for you to say! The hat didn’t take nearly 10 minutes with you, did it? Thought I’d broken the bloody thing,” Peter quivered, remembering the day. James and Sirius laughed under their breath.
Hufflepuff clapped loudly as the first of the new batch came to join their table.
“Crawden, Caleb,” she rang out. A round of applause from Ravenclaw.
“DePonte, Leila,” a small girl with long brown hair seemed to tip-toe to the front and sat down on the chair. The hat had no sooner come to rest before it shouted, “Slytherin!” She grinned and danced towards the table on the far end of the room.
“Definitely a Slytherin,” you and Lily said at the same time.
“Flintwood, Jacob,” another round of applause from Ravenclaw.
“Bloody hell,” Sirius sighed.
“No new Gryffindors this year, then?” James finished.
“We’re only at F,” Lily said.
“Yes, but this must not have been a good batch. There are only about a dozen left,” Remus pointed out.
“Gold, Penelope,” another Hufflepuff. You exchanged a glance with Sirius.
“Gore, Ben,” a small boy with black hair similar to James’ detached from what must’ve been his twin and walked up to the stool. After shooting a nervous glance back down at his brother. He placed the hat on his head.
“Gryffindor!” the hat ripped. Happy to have at least one, your table erupted into thunderous applause. Finally, a new Gryffindor.
“10 sickles says his twin gets in,” Sirius grinned, sticking his hand towards James.
“10 sickles says he doesn’t,” James grinned back, reaching a hand across the table.
“Gore, Wren,” a girl who looked just like her brother traipsed up to the stool and shot a hopeful glance towards your table.
James and Sirius shared an excited grin as she placed the hat on her head.
“Gryffindor!” The boy let out a visible sigh of relief as his twin punched her fist in the air in an excited sort of way.
“Whenever you’re ready, mate,” Sirius teased.
“Oh, shut it, pretty boy,” James grumbled, laying a couple of silver coins in Sirius’ outstretched hand.
“Have you ever noticed, even when I’m being insulted, they can’t help but notice my looks,” Sirius said, lifting a spoon to study his reflection. You all collectively rolled your eyes and sighed.
As your eyes settled, they happened to land on Bellatrix, who still sat glaring at you from her table. And just as though the last few minutes hadn’t happened, the anger settled back into you tenfold.
Dinner passed quickly, though you didn’t eat much, instead spent your time stabbing at your food.
After the annual speech from Dumbledore, it was off to the common rooms for the night.
“Are you still upset?” Sirius asked as the group of you began trodding up the never-ending staircases to Gryffindor Towers.
“No,” you lied. He gave you a knowing look, and you looked away. There was just something about Bellatrix that grated you beyond belief. Perhaps it was Sirius’ connection to her, or your years of quarreling, all starting after she’d laughed as you gave a wrong answer in first-year Transfiguration. The thought alone sent your blood boiling, and it was lucky Peter and Remus happened to be trailing behind, or you’d have slinked back and searched her out in the halls.
The group of you had finally reached the portrait of the Fat Lady at the entrance, her smiling graciously as her students disappeared behind her.
“Twitch,” Sirius whispered as James and Lily stepped through. Remus gave the two of you a curious glance, but followed in after a hurrying Peter.
“What?” you grouched.
“Come on,” he jerked his head back down the stairs. Before you could ask him what he was on about, he grabbed your hand and pulled you down the stairs.
“If we hurry, we might be able to catch them,” he said, looking back at you as he ran. His dark hair whipped around his face, and a mischievous smile pulled at his pale pink lips as he grinned back at you.
Sirius would be the death of you.
The two of you sprinted through the winding halls and down the towering staircases. You’d been so distracted by the sight of the sun setting through one of the glass panes, you didn’t even see Nick. Feeling as though you’d just stepped out of an icy shower, you yelled out an apology to him as Sirius raced on, his tight grip on your hand forcing you to keep up.
“Be more careful!” Nicolas yelled back, sounding grumpy.
Finally, out of breath, the two of you skidded into the stairwell leading down to the dungeons. Grinning, you realized what he had in mind.
The corridor was filled with the robes of the Slytherin students heading back down into their own common rooms for the night. Your eyes flitted over everyone’s head, looking for the wild bunch of curls. Finally, you saw them just about to disappear into the same hole dozens of other Slytherins had, in a wild act of desperation, you called out.
“Trixie!” you shouted. It worked. She dove back out of the hole, shoving two Slytherins to get past. “Fancy a little duel?”
“C’mon Lucy, you know it’ll be fun,” Sirius taunted, prompting the white-blonde boy to whip his own head in search. Each of you had a favorite to fuck with; For James, it was Severus–though Sirius never said no to joining in–for you, Bellatrix, for Sirius, it was Lucius. Remus thought himself to be, and truly was above all it; he only got involved when it was about to go too far.
Just as the two had locked eyes with you, you turned to Sirius and smiled. Nodding, the two of you took off at a sprint once again.
“Coming to get me, Trixie?” you yelled out, taunting her. You heard her let out an annoyed shriek, but she didn’t dare pull her wand with the looming threat of Professors so nearby.
“Where are we going?” you hissed to Sirius as he expertly sprinted through the maze of hallways–you really had to start studying that damn map.
“On the grounds, by the greenhouses. Nobody should be out there this time of night,” he panted, turning quickly and bounding up the set of stairs in front of him.
“Scared, Y/N? Is that why you and lover boy are running?” Bellatrix yelled, likely needing to hear your voice to know where to follow; she and Lucius had fallen far behind in their confusion of the entangled corridors of their own dungeon.
“You wish, you twit,” you laughed. At the end of your sentence, you heard the thunderings of running footsteps and knew they were on your trail again.
“Come on, Lucy. Keep up, won’t you? My mother runs faster than you,” Sirius laughed.
After another few quick turns, you were running up a sloping tunnel. Seconds later, the two of you came out just a few yards from the greenhouses, panting wildly.
“Now what?” you said, putting your hands on your knees and forcing deep lungfuls of the cool night air into your body.
“Now, you duel,” Sirius said, putting his hands on his head and catching his breath.
“What?” you said. Dueling was always the way he and James handled their disagreements, but they didn’t understand the more refined art to girl arguments.
“If you aren’t angry enough to duel, you aren’t angry,” Sirius shrugged, grinning at your surprised face.
“You best hope I don’t turn my wand on youafterwards, Sirius,” you hissed at his dark face.
“Here they come–I’d start thinking of spells if I were you,” he grinned, pointing his wand at the opening that now was leaking the sounds of arriving footsteps. You took his advice and conjured all the hexes and jinxes you’d watched them perform over the years.
“Merlin, did you have to run through the entirety of the castle?” Bellatrix hissed as she saw your faces in the moonlight. “Couldn’t you have found an empty classroom like a normal person?”
“Come on now, cousin; where’s the fun in that?” Sirius grinned, looking utterly relaxed as he leaned against the greenhouse, twirling his wand in his hand.
Pairings:Sirius Black x reader, Sirius Black x Gryffindor!reader, mauraders era! Sirius Black x reader, Marauders x reader Warnings:Language, slight bullying (?) Word Count:3,196
Y/N POV
“What does he want with me, though?” you hissed anxiously to Lily, adjusting your robes as you followed her. You’d never been invited to any ‘Slug Club’ events.
“Dunno, he’s alright, though. Little snobbish, but harmless,” she shrugged, leading the way.
“Maybe it has something to do with my gift,” you wondered aloud. “What if it has something to do with my gift?”
“I thought we were the only ones who knew about it?” Lily asked, turning to look at you with her bright, emerald eyes.
“Well, you, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, McGonagall, and Dumbledore,” you said, frowning as you realized the number kept growing; you doubted how much longer you’d be able to keep it a secret.
“Maybe one of them let it slip? I mean, it’s not exactly an express secret, is it?” Lily asked.
“Not really. But if the whole school finds out I can push thoughts into people’s heads and potentially make them do things, well, I’d never get left alone,” you said. “And that’s the best-case scenario.”
“I suppose that’s true. We’re an understanding lot,” she grinned, turning to you as she slowed her pace.
“I’ll say; took in a psychic and a teenage werewolf. Maybe it isn’t compassion so much as it is a desperate need for adventure,” you teased.
“For Potter and Black? Undoubtedly a pathological need for adventure; me? Compassion, definitely compassion,” she teased back.
Stopping suddenly at a solid compartment door, she turned towards you and fluffed your hair.
“Alright, mum, thanks,” you sighed, swatting at her hands as they brushed your robes. Laughing at your comment, she pushed open the doors to expose a spacious compartment filled with about 8 people.
Groaning to yourself, your eyes first fell to Lucius Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Standing in the middle of them was Severus Snape, hair greasy as ever. His eyes followed Lily for a while until they met your icy glare.
“Malfoyand Snape?” you hissed, tugging on her robes, “I thought you said Slughorn was alright?”
“Lily! Hello, my dear!” Slughorn called jovially. At his words, every pair of eyes fell onto the two of you. “Oh, and I see you’ve brought the lovely, Y/N.”
“Hello,” you smiled sheepishly, not really sure what you were doing there.
“Well, now that we’re all here, shall we?” Slughorn said, gesturing to a round table with seats for all in the compartment.
Lily walked forward and chose a seat, you filled the one next to her. A Hufflepuff you recognized as Wendy Slinkhard sat next to you and gave you a small smile, which you returned.
“Have a good Holiday, Lucius?” Slughorn asked the blonde seated next to him.
“Excellent, Professor, excellent. My father sends his best,” he smiled graciously, his voice as oily as the hair of the boy next to him.
“Ah yes, Abraxas, good man,” Slughorn laughed, his belly falling up and down.
“Slimy git,” you whispered, causing a giggle to bubble from Lily’s lips. At your noise, Slughorn’s eyes fell to the two of you and broke into a great smile.
“Lily, Lily. Whispering again, are we?” he said, though there was no tone of scolding.
“Well, it’s just Malfoy mightget offended if I called him a slimy git to his face, sir.” Despite her words, she smiled serenely, and Slughorn let out a loud laugh.
“That he might, that he might,” he allowed, still laughing. Smugly, you turned to a highly annoyed Lucius and grinned.
“And you! Ms. Y/L/N! It’s a wonder we haven’t met yet,” Slughorn smiled, now turning to you.
“I’m in your Potions class, sir,” you said, slightly annoyed. Lucius and Theo snickered, and you shot them murderous glares.
“Ah, yes! I remember now, your Draught of Living Dead was almost as good as my two stars’!” he laughed, gesturing to Snape and Lily. “Sorry, so many students, you understand.”
“Almost,” you said, forcing a laugh out as Snape’s smug face swam before your own.
“You should see her charmwork, sir. She outdoes me every class,” Lily offered, smiling at you. It was true; where Lily was truly gifted in Potions, your subject was Charms.
“Yes, I’ve been hearing great things about Y/N, lots of great things,” he smirked. Lowering his voice dramatically, he leaned forward as much as his massive figure would allow. “Some of which are truly incredible. Is it true?”
Sighing, you knew he was referring to your gift.
“So much for a secret,” you pushed to Lily, eyes falling to the Slytherins. She gave a sympathetic shrug.
“Yes, it’s true,” you pushed, looking into Slughorn’s black eyes. He let out a great rip of laughter, and everyone in the compartment looked incredibly confused except Lily.
“Sorry, sir. But is what true?” a Ravenclaw boy you knew to be named Holden said.
“Y/N here is truly gifted. More so, I daresay, than anyone in this room.” Slughorn complimented, looking at you with a special glint in his eye. Your bruised ego was soothed as the Slytherins glared at you from across the small table. “Y/N here holds a gift I’ve seen in any capacity only once before.”
In front of you, you saw Snape straighten his back, and his face lost what little color it ever held.
“How?” Lucius snapped, “Sir?” he added as Slughorn’s head snapped to him.
“This is how you slimy git. You can hear this, can’t you? Well, no one else can. See, I can put my thoughts right into that empty blonde head of yours–I mean, seriously, it feels especially spacious up here.” you pushed, smiling maliciously at the icy blonde as his eyes were stuck open in horror. “I could make you do whatever I want, if I pleased, been working on it. And when I say whatever I want, I mean whateverI want. I wouldn’t push it, Malfoy.”
Lucius was looking at you in horror, mouth fallen open. Unlocking your eyes, they fell to Snape, who wore a look of mild interest.
“Would you like a taste, Snivellus?” you sneered, peering into Snape’s black eyes. He looked shocked for a moment but quickly recovered back to his constant glare.
“Lovely, isn’t she?” Slughorn laughed, having no idea you just threatened the Slytherins in front of you with mind control.
“Lovely,” Snape sneered, still looking at you. “Tell me, wherever did you learn such a thing?”
His tone was condescending interest, but behind the facade, you could see his eyes burning with envy.
“Didn’t. Born with it. The first time I did it, I was still in diapers,” you shrugged, loving the way this answer seemed to infuriate him more.
“Fascinating,” Slughorn breathed, his massive figure pressed against the table in interest. His gut spilled over onto the table, and you vaguely wondered whether he had much feeling around his massive midriff.
The rest of the train ride was spent in the compartment with Slughorn as he gushed about both previous and current students. It wasn’t long before you all felt the train begin slowing down, causing Slughorn to trail off.
“Ah! She’s slowing now, it seems. Best be off to your compartments!” he said. “Snape, Malfoy, Nott, I’ll see you later tonight? To welcome all the young new Slytherins?”
“Certainly, sir,” Nott said, smiling his awful smile as the group of them slithered from the room.
“Lily, dear, whenever you’re passing! Same for you, Ms. Y/L/N!” he called as the two of you made to leave.
“If I ever make it down to that wretched dungeon,” Lily teased, causing another great rip of laughter from Slughorn.
“Come now! You know you love that Potions room!” Slughorn called into the hall from his room.
From the semi-crowded hallway, Lily allowed a soft laugh as everyone returned to their compartments. Though, you didn’t make it too far before you were halted by an incoming Ravenclaw.
“Oi, Evans!” a tall, blonde boy called, coming to rest by her side. “Good Holiday?”
“Alright. What do you want, Boot?” she sighed. The boy looked shocked at her bluntness, and you shook your head. Boys fawned after Lily almost as girls did after Sirius, yet Lily’s suitors had much, much less luck. You understood, of course, Lily was gorgeous with flaming locks of hair and the brightest green eyes you’ve ever seen–but after a while, it started doing things to one’s self-esteem.
“Just wondered if you fancied a Hogsmeade trip?” the boy asked, leaning against the wall, trying to recover.
“The first one’s not for weeks,” she said, looking confused.
“I know, though I just might go ahead and ask. You know, before anyone else does,” the boy said, smirking down at her.
“Oh!” she said, looking shocked. “Like a date?”
The boy seemed to be losing confidence as Lily spoke, and you bit your lip to keep from giggling.
“Er, yeah. Like a date, if you want,” the Ravenclaw said, eyes falling to the floor.
“Oh, er. I’m sorry. No,” she said, smiling apologetically.
“Why not?” the boy asked, affronted.
“Because I said so, you git,” she responded, getting angry.
“You haven’t got a reason! Can’t just turn down a man without reason. Not like you have a boyfriend or anything,” he pouted, sounding more and more childish as he spoke.
“I do have a reason: I don’t want to. Besides, maybe I have got a boyfriend,” she said maliciously, her red hair shaking down her back as she angrily crossed her arms.
“Where the hell are you going with this?” you asked, confused. Lily ignored you.
“Oh yeah? Where is he then?” the boy asked, taking a step closer.
He was bold; you’d give him that. Super creepy, but bold.
“He doesn’t have to be with me all the time for me to say no to you,” she fired up. “No means no, you prick.”
Grabbing your hand, she made to walk away, but the boy caught her by the elbow.
“James!” Lily suddenly called out, putting a scared tone in her voice. It was purposeful, you knew. She loved to tease James, always giving enough lead to get him on it, but neverquiteenough.
Not even a second later, you saw James’ messy-topped head poke out of the compartment down the hall. At the sight of her and a male in such close quarters, he reached you in seconds. James’ eyes locked on the Raveclaw’s grip on her arm, and upon notice, the boy dropped her like she was poison.
“Oi!” he called, a dark look coming over his face. At the sound of his friend, Sirius’ curls came poking out a second later. A grin came over his face as he saw the determination in James’ step, and he followed, jogging to catch up. At the sight of James and Sirius approaching, the boy took a slight but noticeable step back.
“Oh, not so tough now, are we?” Lily snapped, walking to meet James. “He couldn’t take no for an answer. I told him I had a boyfriend, but…”
“Boyfriend?” James repeated, torn from his anger. The rolling waves that were just leaking from his essence turned to bright swirls, and you shook your head as you watched him look at her.
“Oh, shame on you, Lily. You know how he feels about you,” you pushed defensively; It was one thing to tease James, but the excitement rolling off of him was tangible. The cloud that would come when she shut him down once more would likely bring you down as well. That was one of the downsides of being psychic; others’ moods were genuinely infectious, for better or for worse.
“Oi, got a problem keeping your hands to yourself?” Sirius said, taking charge of the situation as his friend stared in shock at the redhead in front of him.
“Well, I didn’t think she was serious. Didn’t mean to hit on your girl, Potter.” the boy said, backing into the wall.
“Well, that’s not the point, is it?” James said, suddenly coming to his senses. Pulling Lily behind him protectively, you noticed how she gripped the top of his arm and rolled your eyes.
“Really laying it on thick, aren’t we?” you pushed, annoyed at her toying with James. She met your eyes with an identical glance, but she wasn’t the only irritated one here; you returned it.
“If she said no, she means no, you prick,” James said, advancing towards the boy.
Sirius took a step closer, smiling maliciously at the boy in front of him, and sensing danger, you too grabbed his arm like Lily had James’.
“Alright, come on, boys. I think he gets it,” you said, pulling Sirius back. You could feel the Quidditch games with James in his biceps.
“No, I think he could use a refresher,” Sirius said, taking another step forward but allowing your grip on his arm.
“Precisely what I was thinking, Padfoot,” James smiled at Sirius. Just before you physically stepped in between them, another voice sounded.
“Problem, boys?” Remus said, appearing behind you, stalling their advance.
“Yeah, Boot here never learned to keep his hands to himself,” Sirius said, backing from the boy considerably.
“Lily called, and I walked up to find him bodily restraining her,” James said, gesturing to the redhead behind him.
“Is that true?” Remus turned to the Ravenclaw.
“Bodily restraining?” the boy repeated, incredulous, “I just grabbed her arm!”
“So you were gripping her body, in a manner meant to restrain her?” Remus said, lowering his eyes. You found yourself staring; Remus’ anger was so seldom seen. The boy blushed with anger, but turned and left the group of you nonetheless.
“Come on, we’ve arrived,” Remus said, gesturing for the group of you to follow him and Peter.
Knowing a particularly interesting conversation was about to unfold, you let James and Lily go first, holding Sirius back,
“Hang on, trust me,” you pushed, smiling at him as he looked at you confusedly. He grinned back, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.
“What was that about?” James asked quietly. “You could’ve handled that. Hell, just last year, I watched you hex that 7th year Slytherin.”
“Dunno, though you might have liked to. Guess I was mistaken,” she shrugged, an airy tone in her voice.
“No!” James said hastily, “No, no. Of course, I’d like to–you just threaten to hex me as well every time I’ve tried.”
“Well, perhaps I was a bit hasty with you all these years,” she lilted ambiguously. Ahead, you saw Remus’ pace slow, and you knew he too was listening.
“What’s that mean?” James said, louder than he meant to. Excitement was beginning to leak out of him; you could feel it in the air around him; it was lighting color spots all over the compartment, like big, colored bubbles visible only to you.
Lily merely shrugged nonchalantly and smiled at him slightly.
“And don’t think I missed that part where you called me your boyfriend,” James continued on, determined to get her to reply.
“Yes, well, if you’re just going to continue telling people we’re together anyway, we might as well be, yeah?” Lily said, a small smile on her lips.
Practically dripping with emotion, James came to a complete stop. Being too wrapped up in the feelings exuding from James, you ran straight into him and nearly fell, Sirius catching you just in time as he was behind you.
“Oi, Prongs, the hell?” Sirius said, looking properly shocked, as though you hadn’tbeen listening in.
“Lily’s just called me her boyfriend,” James said, looking at Sirius with an expression of pure elation.
“Cheers, mate! That’s great, just when I was starting to think it’d never happen,” Sirius smiled, wrapping an arm around his friend.
“I’ve just agreed to date him after nearly 6 years of begging, and yet he embraces Sirius first,” Lily said, shaking her head at the boys before her.
“Sorry, Lils. I’mnumber one in James’ life,” Sirius said haughtily, releasing James but keeping a protective arm around his shoulders. James rolled his eyes, but grinned at Sirius.
“I can see that,” Lily laughed, rolling her eyes as well.
“Lovely as this is, mates, we’re stopping up the hall,” you said, turning around to glare at a Slytherin as she bumped into you.
Grabbing James’ hand, Lily pulled him away from Sirius, their robes billowing in their haste.
“You nosy girl,” Sirius teased, poking your side as you two made your way to the platform.
“Oi! Remus was listening too,” you defended, though you laughed.
As you neared the exit, the sound of pounding rain wafted through the doorway, the smell of warm, wet pavement following soon after.
“Why is it always bloody raining?” you grumbled, pulling the hood of your cloak over your Y/C/H hair.
“Fucks up my hair every year,” Sirius groaned, equally upset.
“Pads! Twitch! Come on!” James called, waving you all ahead.
The carriage carrying the four of them began moving, and you and Sirius held your breath, running into the rain, jogging to catch up. James held the door open for the two of you and grinned as Sirius grabbed his outstretched hand, pulling him into the carriage.
“Faster, Twitch!” Sirius yelled, a wide grin on his face as he held his hand out to you. Finally, your fingers wrapped around his hand and James grabbed your other, pulling you into the dry carriage.
“Gross,” you muttered, using your sleeve to dry your face.
“I thought you liked the rain?” Remus asked, looking teasing.
“I do,” you answered shortly. “Doesn’t mean I want to be out in it when it’s pouring bloody cats and owls.”
“Oh, I’m starving,” Peter whined, looking hopefully up at the castle, largely ignoring the conversation.
“How? You about bought out the trolley,” Sirius laughed, swaying slightly with the carriage. Peter turned to scowl at Sirius, who playfully grinned back.
“I bet Moony here is looking forward to dinner as well,” he then turned his attention towards Remus, nudging his knee.
“And why’s that?” Lily asked from her seat next to James.
“That pretty Ravenclaw he fancies always sits right behind him at meals,” Sirius smiled, jeering at a blood-red Remus.
“Oh, piss off,” he mumbled. Sirius let out a barking laugh and leaned forward.
“Oi, Moony, I’m just fucking with you, relax,” Sirius said. Your favorite goofy grin lit up his dark features, and you couldn’t look away. As you made your way up the hill to Hogwarts, the moonlight lit at his bone structure, highlighting his carved features. His dark hair was tucked behind his ear on the side closest to you, putting his cutting jawline on full display.
Suddenly, you felt a nudge against your foot and tore your eyes away from Sirius to find a smirking Lily. Blushing furiously as she’d caught you, you tilted your neck down and hid your face behind your hair.
“Finally,” Peter squeaked after a few minutes of idle chatter, hopping from his seat. The group of you followed, and you smiled up at the towering castle in front of you; you were home.
Pairings:Sirius Black x reader, Young Sirius Black x reader, Marauders x reader Warnings:language, fighting, very very slight hints of smutish behavior Word Count: 2,721 A/N: The next story I will be uploading a part for is ‘A Shit Tutor’, so all my fellow Draco stans, fear not, more is on the way. Anywayyyy hope you all enjoy this chapter, enter Lilyyyy!
Ch 3: Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff
Just then, a group of Hufflepuff girls came walking down the aisle, and after having made eye contact with a smirking Sirius, all started giggling and whispering intensely, shooting off random bright smiles as they passed. Peter smiled at one in the back hopefully as they slowed, and to your intense surprise, she smiled back timidly.
“Emmaline Nelson, Hufflepuff obviously, she’s in our year. I believe we have Transfiguration together this year if you fancy talking to her,” you pushed to Peter, who blushed something awful and stared at his feet.
“Aaaand, here we go,” James sighed playfully as Sirius beckoned one forward with his finger. She and her friends had evidently been pondering entering and stood in wait at the door. They all watched with jealous eyes as she approached him.
“Hello, love,” Sirius said, donning the silk voice he always did when talking to girls. A bitterness seemed to fill you entirely.
“Hi,” she giggled, going red in the face, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Something you needed?” Sirius asked, grinning cockily at her.
“Uh,” she stuttered, giggling more.
“I might be sick,” you rolled your eyes as you looked at James, who made a gesture of agreement.
“Not really. Just, I mean, if you ever like, want a study partner or something, or whatever,” she seemed to be losing her nerve as Sirius continued to rake his eyes over her. “You can just let me know, ya know if you want.”
Leaning back, feeling suddenly intensely annoyed and wanting to look anywhere but at the two of them, you got out Jinx and began stroking him as he perched on your knee.
“Pretty bird,” the girl breathed, smiling at Jinx. You pulled a face in response, but hers told you it came off ruder than you intended.
“To study?” Sirius smirked, looking at her accusingly.
“Yeah, or whatever,” the girl smiled, grasping the ends of her hair nervously. It was simply more than you could take.
“Happy as I am the two of you are going to, er, study, perhaps spare us from the rest, yeah?” you quipped as Sirius smirked and opened his mouth to silkily retort.
Everyone’s eyes fell upon you, and you curtained your hair over your face, returning to stroking Jinx.
What the hell was that? Girls flirted with Sirius all the time; there was never a moment you didn’t catch at least one set of eyes on him. Sirius was hot, cocky, sexy, arrogant–but with the talent to back it up. And top it all off with a gorgeous set of dark curls framing a shadowed, structured face with high cheekbones and dark eyes. It wasn’t hard to see why he encaptured the attention of so many.
Face burning, you realized you found him hot too. Incredibly so.
The girl then looked at you, affronted, but turned nonetheless and stormed from the compartment.
“The bloody hell was that, Twitch?” Sirius said in an offended tone, gesturing to the storming Huffelpuffs shooting you dirty looks.
“Nothing, I don’t know,” you said quickly, tearing your eyes from the group of them. All four boys were peering at you confusedly, and you stood up sharply, causing Jinx to fall from your lap. Hissing in pain, you looked down to see three claw marks on your knee as he was shocked by the abrupt change. He hooted sharply at you and went back into his cage, turning away from you. “I uh, have to go to the bathroom.”
Face and knee burning, you walked with your head down to the bathrooms, mind reeling the whole time.
Sirius was no stranger to being flirted with, regardless of present company–hell, last year, he’d taken to snogging several on the couches in the common room as the younger years trailed off to bed. You remembered feeling annoyed when he did so, but that was logical, right? Who the hell wanted to watch that? Especially week after week with girl after girl. Perhaps you were just being prudish; sure, all the experience you had involved Alekand Nole, a dare, and a broom closet, but surely it was abnormal to blow through girls like that? Or do those kinds of things in front of prying eyes, right?
Pushing open the bathroom door, you groaned internally as you saw the same girl whispering angrily with her friends. Their looks turned murderous as you walked in.
Great. Well, too late now.
Trying to be quick about things, you almost made it out without a scene, but just after washing your hands, you were stopped.
“Oi, what the hell is your problem, Y/N?” the girl asked, her blonde hair shaking as she rolled her neck angrily.
“Excuse me?” you said, turning around to face them, temper already flaring.
“You heard me. What do you care what I do with Sirius, not like he’s your boyfriend or anything.” her friend giggled ruthlessly as she sneered, “Tell me, how is it that you’re best friends with the bloody Marauders, the hottest guys in our year and you can’t get even oneof them to snog you?” she said, laughing haughtily as her friends howled. Your blood boiled as their biting laughter filled the little room. “Not even that trail along. What’s his name, Peter?”
At the jab of both you and your friend, you snapped.
“See,you, unlike me, are a whoring slag who can’t wait to be the latest notch in his belt. AndI, unlike you, have self-respect, love. It’s quite simple,” you all but growled, turning to walk out of the room. You heard the outraged noises and almost made it back to the compartment when you felt a harsh tug on your hair.
“The bloody hell?” you yelled, jerking backward as she pulled, pain rippling from your scalp.
“I am notawhoring slag, you bitch!” she screeched, lifting her arm up to strike you. Seizing your chance, you bent and rammed your shoulder into her stomach, knocking her wind out and sending her flying onto her back.
After years of having an older Muggle, boy cousin who tormented you for sport, you learned how to take care of yourself.
“Y/N?” you heard Sirius’ voice sound out suddenly. In the midst of it all, the girl had gotten an iron grip on your hair and was now using her legs to kick angrily at you from the floor as her hands held you in place by your hair.
“Let go of my hair, you cheating whore!” you screeched, trying futilely to pry her deadlocked fingers from your hair.
Footsteps sounded down the compartment hallway, followed by various annoyed noises as they were pushed against the sides, Sirius barrelling down the hall to reach your voice.
“What the hell?” he questioned. “Let her alone!!”
For a wild moment, you thought he was telling you to leave her alone, but a second later, you felt a pulling sensation around your midriff. Yelling out, you reminded him of her grip on your hair, and he yelled out an apology and dropped you, warning James as he came skidding to a halt seconds later.
“What in the bloody–” Remus cut off, seeing the girl kicking at you like a monkey from her back.
“Little help whenever would be great, boys!” you called, scratching at her arms and wrists to loosen her grip on your hair. “Only bitches pull hair!”
“Stupefy!” someone called, and suddenly you were airborne. As you flew back, you noticed several strands of your Y/C/H hair had come loose in the girl’s fists.
You hit the ground with a thud and gasped as you fought to force air back into your stunned lungs.
What happened next was utter chaos.
Spells went flying from behind you at all angles as each of the boys shot a different hex at the wand that’d sent you flying. Various crowd members who had poked out to figure out what all the noise was about began screaming and jetting off in different directions in the cramped hallway space, trying to dodge the bouncing hexes. Spells then started flying towards the boys in retaliation, and finally regaining your breath, you got to your feet and pulled your wand to help.
“What in the hell is going on here?” you heard the voice of Lily Evans enter the scene, and James immediately straightened and fluffed his hair before she came into view. Finally, she broke the crowd and turned, glowering at the group of you.
“Should’ve known you gits were involved, honestly Remus, you’re a Prefect!” she hissed, scolding the boys, who all began to interject.
“Y/N? What’s happened?” Lily asked, walking concernedly over to you as you sopped the flow of blood free-streaming from your nose. Seemed the twit managed to get one good hit in.
“Thatslag attacked me; evidently, somebody’s a little sensitive,” you sneered, lowering your eyes at the girl in front of you who was now sporting an ever-growing nose as small antlers were making their way out of her head. Looking down, you saw her hands twitching violently and smiled at the boys in front of you.
“Is that true?” Lily turned to the girl, who was bright red with embarrassment and fury.
“I wouldn’t have had to if the stupid bitchhadn’t poked her nose where it doesn’t belong!” she screeched, pointing her finger at you accusingly.
“Well, it looks like you’re about to do the same, Pinnochio,” you jeered, causing her to pounce once more, this time being dragged back by the male Hufflepuff Prefect.
“Alright everyone, show’s over! Back to your compartments before I hex the lot of you nosy sods!” Lily yelled at the onlookers, causing all to duck back into their compartments, shutting the doors tightly behind them.
“Excellent handling of the situation, might I say, Ms. Evans,” James simpered, already kissing Lily’s arse.
“Potter, you are downright shameless,” she said, lowering her bright green eyes at James as he grinned back boyishly, “And you, Remus, been shirking on responsibilities again, have we? I’ve just finished situating the first-years when I hear what sounds like a fightat the Gryffindor end of the train! Honestly, theleastyou could do is control yourlittle friends if you’re going to leave the rest to me, yeah?”
“Right. Sorry Lily, most rude of me…” Remus nodded solemnly, feeling as though he wholeheartedly deserved her reaming. Lily seemed to soften slightly under Remus’ guilt, and she breathed out, relaxing her shoulders and unclenching her fists.
“Well, I dunno about everyone else, but I’m starved,” you said, pulling your sleeve back to see the bleeding had finally ceased.
“Come here, Twitch,” Remus beckoned, pulling out his wand once more, “Tergio.”
You felt the funny sucking feeling of all the blood leaving your face, and you wiped a spot to find your fingers clean.
“Cheers, Moony!” you smiled as he blushed slightly and grinned back.
“I could’ve done that,” Sirius said, sounding oddly annoyed, “Come on then, here comes the trolley.”
Sure enough, you heard the comforting voice of the old woman with the Honeydukes trolley wafting down the hallway as she made her way down the train.
“Care to join us?” James asked Lily hopefully, gesturing forward with his arm. Not bearing to see your friend’s crestfallen face when she likely refused as always, you intervened.
“I’ll make sure he’s on his best behavior,” you pushed, looking at her meaningfully. “C’mon, Lils, he’s really not thatbad…”
And to your intense surprise, she caved.
“Alright,” she sighed, stepping into the cabin. You didn’t need to be part psychic to feel the excitement rolling off of James as she stepped by him, sinking into the seat next to his.
“Didn’t even know Hufflepuff’s fought,” Remus sighed, collapsing into his seat.
“Haven’t even made it off the train, and little Twitchy is already getting in duels,” Sirius jeered, knocking your knee with his hand. A rush of heat flooded you, and you blushed, hoping the others would take it as embarrassment about the fight.
“Well, if you’d stop entertaining rubbish like that, I wouldn’t have to,” you quipped, glaring at Sirius before offering him a small smile. Peter giggled at your comment and kept checking the window every few seconds, anxiously awaiting the trolley.
“Oh, believe me, I’ve learned my lesson,” Sirius said, looking at you rather intently. Before you could blush again or give yourself away some other way, Lily spoke.
“Oh, I see. So I tell you off about those girls of yours for years, and you can’t get it through that thick skull of yours, but Y/N gets in one little row…” Lily shook her head, leaning back before she could get her temper going again.
“Amazing, isn’t she?” James said quietly, his voice in awe as he gazed, mesmerized at Lily–who blushed pink at his comment.
“Oi, Prongs, mate. We can all hear you,” Sirius laughed, whispering playfully at his friend. Everyone’s laughter was interrupted at the arrival of snacks.
“Anything from the trolley, dears?” the old woman smiled sweetly at the group of you.
After spending most of her time there dolling out Peter’s numerous sweets, each of you had your treats, and she was off to the next compartment.
“Coconut ice and cauldron cakes?” Lily laughed as you happily sucked on a coconut cube. As you sheepishly looked around, you caught Sirius watching you, his eyes seeming darker than usual, somehow.
“What? They’re my favorite!” you defended, loving the way the sweet spread across your palette. After months of your grandmother’s unimaginative cooking, this was heaven–it had to be.
“Oooh, can I have a chocolate frog?” you asked, seeing Sirius’ stack on his lap.
“Help yourself, Twitch,” he shrugged, opening one of his own. “Alberic Grunnion?”
“Oh, you boys best stand up and salute!” Lily laughed as Sirius read out the name. The boys merely shared confused looks.
“The maker of the dungbomb!” you explained, to which they all erupted into a chorus of ‘oh’s’ playfully gave a salute to the card in Sirius’ hand.
As you leaned in to grab a chocolate frog, you caught a whiff of the new fragrance potion he must’ve been trying out. He smelled of pine, smoke, and something sweet you couldn’t quite name. As you were distracted, your hand brushed across the seam in his jeans, and the both of you met eyes, you blushing a furious shade of red.
“New potion?” you pushed after a second, unable to bear the awkward silence between the two of you. He nodded imperceptibly and smirked slightly.
“Very nice.” you complimented. He shot you a small smile, and James turned to Lily.
“Have a good Holiday, then?” he asked her, looking hopeful.
“‘Was alright, try as Petunia might to make it hell. I wish Muggle schools and Hogwarts had opposite schedules,” she sighed, drawing one of her long legs up onto the seat.
“My god, could you imagine? Virtually never even having to see Blakely anymore?” you said, painting a dramatic look of longing on your face.
Everyone laughed, Peter actually choking on the three cauldron cakes he’d stuffed into his mouth.
“Apapneo,” Lily said, pulling her wand. Peter coughed once and looked up at Lily.
“Thank you,” he wheezed, smiling as he dabbed at his now watery eyes, bits of chocolate spilling from his mouth.
“Uhm, Lily Evans? Y/N Y/L/N?” a small girl in blue-lined robes asked, looking wide-eyed at the boys around you.
“That’ll be Slughorn, then?” Lily said, rising from her seat.
The girl nodded and ducked off, running back to the Ravenclaw section of the train.
“What’s he want with you?” James asked bluntly, looking put-off that she was leaving.
“Charming, Potter. He happens to like me. And Y/N, evidently.” Lily said, smiling at you. “Let me just get my robes,”
Using her wand, she sent her robes flying from her trunk, and you dug yours out.
“Have fun, girls,” Sirius said as the two of you made to leave the compartment.
“See you there, boys,” Lily sang back.
“Save us a carriage seat,” you said, turning back to shoot a wink at Sirius. His face looked funny for a minute, but he recovered quickly and shot one back.
Pairings:Sirius Black x reader, Marauders x reader Warnings:none, slight language (but that’s for every chapter rlly) Word Count: 3,108
As if on cue, you heard a knock at the door just as your foot touched down onto the landing. The sound of quick, heeled footsteps sounded immediately after; Grandmother briskly coming down the hall followed by the slower steps of Blakely as he surely wanted to gaze curiously at your friends.
“Prongs!” you breathed upon seeing James, smiling fondly at the messy mop of black hair atop your friend’s head.
“Twitchy!” he smiled back, opening his arms in greeting. You wasted no time in falling into them, smiling into his chest as his hug signaled the true return to Hogwarts.
“Mrs. Killianis,” James said, suddenly formal as he looked to your severe grandmother behind you. Following his gaze, you saw her eyes narrowing as Sirius and Remus all but fell out of the car, Peter’s wheezing laughter following them out.
You smiled fondly after them as Remus brushed the dirt from his knees, frowning up at Sirius. Sirius grinned back and ran a hair through his raven black hair, brushing it from his eyes.
“Hello, Mrs. Killianis,” Sirius said, his voice taking on a tone you’d never heard before. You and James glanced warily at each other.
“Hello, boys,” she said stiffly, her eyes now staring rudely at the scars littering Remus’ exposed skin.
Remus cleared his throat, clearly catching your grandmother’s eyes. “Shall we get your trunk then?” he said, clapping his hands together as he smiled at you.
You offered him a sympathetic smile and pushed an apology into his head at your grandmother’s rudeness.
“That’d be great, Moony, thanks.” you nodded. Peter followed him up into your room dutifully. After a moment or two, you heard what sounded like a reprimanding noise followed by a sharp smack and idly wondered what was going on.
“I suppose you’ll be staying at the school for the Holidays again, yes? Blakely and I were planning a trip,” Grandmother said suddenly–it didn’t take a genius to figure out you weren’t invited.
“Definitely,” you answered briskly. The choice between a Hogwarts Christmas with the boys and a visit to Grandmother’s sister’s house in the States with Blakely was a no-brainer.
“Lovely thing Hogwarts does, providing a home for the holidays,” James grinned, putting an emphasis on ‘home.’ Grandmother lowered her eyes, but Remus and Peter were already coming down the stairs, hauling your heavy trunk between them.
“Bloody hell, Twitch,” Remus huffed, blowing his thin brown hair out of his eyes, “What’d you pack?”
“Mind your tongue, boy,” Grandmother snipped as the two of them passed through the front door. “You won’t behave like the heathensthat you are in my presence.”
“Er,right,” Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes and laughing under his breath. “C’mon, Twitch, don’t want to be late.”
Eager to leave the situation, you quickly followed the boys out and made your way into the baking heat. Just as they made to load your trunk, you clucked your tongue as Peter fumbled his end and dropped it roughly into the undoubtedly magically enhanced trunk.
“Sorry,” Peter winced, rubbing his hands together in an anxious sort of way.
“S’Alright Wormtail. Now, shall we get a move on, then?” James said, using his wand to swing open the car door for you. You heard your grandmother let out a small gasp, and Blakely took a step back. As most parents took the time to drop their children off at Platform 9 ¾, the journey there was generally a sort of grace period if you wanted to use magic; the Ministry wouldn’t take the time to differentiate each use of magic on this day between parents and students. Per wizarding law, they’d never seen magic as you didn’t use it during your time here–aside from your special gift.
“Please,” you said, turning to leave without glancing back.
“You aren’t going to say goodbye?” you heard Remus ask. You turned to answer him before you slipped into the car, but he wasn’t talking to you.
“Excuse me?” Grandmother said, clearly affronted he was saying anything more than ‘hi’ and ‘bye.’
“Honestly, Moony, just let it alone,” Sirius moaned as he made his way back out of the car to gather him.
“You aren’t going to see your granddaughter for 9 months, surely you’re going to at least say goodbye?” Remus pressed on, equally affronted. Sirius took a step closer to his friend, and you saw your grandmother’s eyes fall upon the several tattoos that already littered his arms; Sirius lived to upset his family, and tattoos were such a Muggle form of rebellion it only bolstered his point.
Her eyes then fell to the both of their wands, which were gripped tightly in their hands, and let out a breath she’d been holding. Lowering her eyes but acquiescing nonetheless, she sighed.
“Goodbye, then,” she said stiffly, nudging Blakely, who was locking eyes with a mischievous looking Sirius. Glancing behind Blakely’s head, you saw a dish hovering dangerously above his head and looked to see Sirius’ wand pointed right at it. Rolling your eyes, you pushed the dish back with your own and threw a knowing grin at Sirius.
“Naughty, naughty boy,” you said silently. He grinned back boyishly at you and threw you a wink.
“See you next summer,” Blakely allowed, lowering his eyes at you and grinning in an awful sort of way. You could’ve sworn you heard a growl on your right and found Remus glaring at Blakely, who swallowed harshly and disappeared back into the house. At that, you slipped into the front seat next to James, the rest of the boys piling into the backseat, Remus scolding Sirius for shoving Peter out of the way to get in first. Fondly, you smiled and listened to them bicker.
“Merlin, glad that’s over.” Remus shook his head as James smoothly pulled away from the house. “Don’t know how you do it all summer.”
“Aw, what’s the matter, Moony? Not a big fan of familial tension, are we? I think it’s rather quite nice; reminds me of home,” Sirius said with a fake voice of longing. James looked through the rearview mirror and rolled his eyes at Sirius.
“Muggles giving you hell again?” Peter squeaked from the backseat, grabbing the head of your seat and leaning up towards you.
He’d always been a mousy boy, but after his first successful transformation, his commonalities with his Animagi only became more pronounced.
“When do they not, Wormtail?” you laughed, throwing a gum wrapper at him playfully as you popped a piece into your mouth.
“Ooh, is that gum?” Sirius asked, peering over your shoulder from the backseat.
“Yes, but it’s Muggle-gum.” you reminded him.
“Bit boring, but it’ll do. Jamesy won’t let me smoke in the car,” Sirius sneered, looking amusedly at an annoyed-looking James in the mirror.
“It smells! Isn’t my fault Dad has the nose of a bloody hound,” he defended, looking disgruntled at the thought of being a do-gooder.
“Good ol’ Fleamont, what a chap,” Sirius laughed, spreading out on the backseat and draping his arm along the seats. He reached and affectionately gave Remus’ hair a tussle, jostling Peter in the process, who grinned.
“So, now that we’ve all been reminded how horrible my lovely grandmother is, how was everybody else’s Holiday?” you asked as James drove the car expertly around the busy London streets–Muggle driving was a skill he was particularly proud of.
“Oh, you know, wonderful as always. Mother only threatened to have me disenfranchised and disgraced twice this year, so that’s a mark better than last Holiday.” Sirius laughed, blowing bubbles with his gum but frowning in disappointment when they popped.
“Didn’t you go to Prongs’ early this year?” you asked, remembering James’ letter that Sirius had arrived a few weeks into break.
“Yeah, don’t know why the evil hag insists on having me around anyway. All she does is dote on Regulus and send the nearest object flying at my head. Don’t even get me started on Kreacher…I don’t think I’ll go back next year.” a dark look came over his features, and you found yourself staring at him.
“What?” you asked, shocked at the nonchalant tone of his serious words.
“Yeah, I didn’t so much go to Prongs’ early this year as I did run away,” he said, looking slightly sheepish as you looked accusingly at him.
“What? What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” you gasped, turning in the front seat entirely to glare at him.
“Dunno, I mean, I’m telling you now, aren’t I?” he shrugged.
“Well, go on then, tell me more,” you insisted.
“Just more of the same Twitch. You don’t understand,” he paused, and his usual carefree, light demeanor vanished and was taken over by a dark cloud that seemed to fill the car. “That house, it’s like a black hole. It swallows you whole. It’s like a bloody residential dementor. Every decent thought you have gets sucked into the black wallpaper, every horrible thought you’ve ever had on repeat, magnified. I can’tbreathe in that house; they’re all so cozy, so comfortable in that dark, that evil. The Noble House of Black, it’s killing me slowly, draining the life out of me.”
He seemed aware of how much he was saying, how serious he’d gotten, because, at the end of the little speech, he let out a deep breath and forced a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck subconsciously.
“Nothing like Prongs’ here, for example,” he grinned up at his friend, who shot him one from the mirror.
“I mean, you basically already lived there,” James shrugged. “Besides, Mum was thrilled–you know, I think she likes you better than me sometimes.”
“Oh, she definitely does, mate. Euphemia and me? Kinda besties,” Sirius grinned, and the dark cloud dispersed. You found yourself staring at Sirius, chest full of emotion. The quickness with which he dismissed himself was almost worse.
“And, Moony? How was yours?” James asked, filling the silence.
“Decent, I suppose. Though I’ve almost worked my way through every decent book worth reading at the library closest to home, all the rest are the silly little Muggle books in that dingy section they have in the back…though I started reading this one called the ‘Bible’; Merlin does it tell some truly fantastic tales…whales eating people, turning water to wine, healing the blind–this Jesus bloke even rose from the dead! I reckon he was some type of early wizard or something, don’t know how the Muggles don’t…” he trailed off while the rest of you shared knowing glances. Moony was prone to monologues full of on-the-spot thinking, constantly prattling on about something he’d read in some book.
“You’re doing it again,” you shot a meaningful look at Remus, who blushed scarlet at your mental words and trailed off.
“Hey, no fair!“ Sirius whined from the back seat at you. "I wanted to see where he was going with that. There definitely could’ve been something in there well worth making fun of!”
“Opportunity missed, Padfoot.” James hissed in sympathy at his friend, smiling at him in the rearview mirror.
“You all leave Moony alone. Just because he gets abnormally excited about really obscure Muggle things doesn’t mean we get to make fun of him for it,” you shot a smile at Remus in the back seat, who rolled his eyes but nonetheless smiled around sheepishly.
“How was your summer, James?” Peter asked from the backseat, leaning up hopefully.
“Alright, my parents set up a little Quidditch pitch in the back; Sirius got his arse handed to him a couple times,” James smirked, throwing a playful grin at his best friend in the backseat.
Wormtail laughed gleefully at James’ story as he described a match while Sirius sat up indignantly, poised to argue.
“I’m a Keeper, Potter. Not a sodding Seeker. Not too quick to tell everyone how miserable you were at trying to get the Quaffle in, though, are you?” Sirius quipped from the backseat.
“Down, boy. We all know how great of a Keeper you are, wouldn’t have won that last match against Ravenclaw without you..” you pushed into Sirius’ head, stroking his bruised ego. He met your eyes in the rearview and smirked up at you, clearly appeased by your comment. Lounging lazily once more in the roomy backseat, he turned to Peter.
“What about you, Wormtail? Your Holiday good?” Sirius said, cocking his head at his friend with a mischievous glint in his eye.
“S’alright..” he trailed off, looking around nervously as Sirius grinned at him.
“Really? Didn’t miss having Prongs’ arse to kiss?” he sneered at his friend, who blushed and stuttered.
“Let him alone, Pads,” Remus smiled at his friend from across the seats.
Just as the boys began to bicker more harshly, James pulled into the parking lot at Kings Cross, and the group of you piled out of the car.
“Wormtail, go find us a trolley,” Sirius said, and with a wave of his hand, Peter was gone.
“Obedient little bugger, isn’t he?” Remus said praisingly, rubbing his chin.
“Why d’you think he’s made it this long?” Sirius laughed, lifting his trunk out of the car as Peter came wheezing around with the trolley.
“I’ve got it, Y/N,” Peter said, exerting tremendous effort to lift your trunk until Remus saw him and reached in to help.
“Thanks, Peter…always so helpful.” you pushed to him in thanks. You saw him blush violently and smile to himself.
Your gift had taught you many things, but perhaps above all: people were so easily manipulated, one well-timed compliment, and it could send a person fawning. Though you weren’t shy to use it to your advantage, it was lucky a person of your moral stature had the gift. It could be so easily used…perhaps it was thoughts like these that led to the Sorting Hat’s consideration of your placement in Slytherin.
Half an hour later, your trunks were placed in the train’s storage carriages, and the group of you were lounging in a compartment, your various pets making random noises as they settled in for the long train ride.
Jinx hooted sleepily in his cage before lifting his wing and drifting off to sleep. Sirius’ handsome jet-black Screech Owl, BamBam, seemed to take a cue from Jinx and buried his head into his wing as well. They almost resembled salt and pepper shakers as they stood next to one another in direct contrast. To most everyone’s intense surprise, Remus’ pet was a fluffy siamese cat named Cleo. Unsurprising, however, was Peter’s choice of a pet rat named Nibbles. Though, Nibbles was on his last leg–most common rats only lived a couple of years, and Nibbles had been with Peter since first year.
“What’re you doing?” Peter asked, sitting up interestedly in his seat as Sirius drew out his wand and flung open the compartment door.
“Having some fun,” Sirius shrugged, the grin you all loved so much donning his face. James watched his friend and broke into a smile; Peter seemed to be struggling to sit still with excitement; even Remus peered over the top of his book to watch.
Fully aware he was holding all of your attention, Sirius pointed his wand at the wall opposite your door.
“Carpe Retractum,” Sirius said, and a length of rope came spouting out at the end of his wand. “Bollocks…what’s that one to get something to stick to something else?” he asked into the compartment after a moment.
“Epoximise,” Remus answered from behind his book once more, seemingly having seen everything he needed to.
“Right, cheers, Moony,” Sirius smiled and did the incantation, sticking the other end of the rope to the wall. Pulling on his wand, he seemed to test his theory and smiled in success as the rope pulled taught–effectively making a tripwire.
“Very nice,” you complimented, to which you received a playful little bow of his head.“Might I suggest something, though?”
“By all means, Twitch,” Sirius said, gesturing to the tripwire.
“Omnino dissimulare,” you spoke, pointing your wand at the length of rope. As the white beam of light hit it, the rope disappeared from view, and you smiled triumphantly. You’d been working hard on that one towards the end of last term and were worried you’d have to start over with the holiday break.
“Excellent!” Peter cheered, clapping wildly at the two of you.
“Where’d you learn that?” Remus said, finally putting his book down and looking at you curiously.
“Been working on it for a bit. Found it in a book Madam Pince let me take home last Christmas,” you answered, feeling a bit smug that you’d impressed Remus.
“Pince let you take home books?” Remus said, incredulous.
“You know she pities me,” you laughed, waving a hand. “Though, she did threaten to turn me inside out if there was so much a creased page–so only marginally.”
“Wait, wait!” Sirius called, pointing to the door excitedly; Peter was positively quivering.
A group of already-robed Slytherins came strolling past your window, and you smiled in anticipation. At the last second, Sirius jerked his wrist and tightened the rope, sending the group of Slytherins sprawling across the floor.
The group of you exploded into laughter, and they all got to their feet, whipping their wands out, looking for a culprit. Given the rope was invisible, however, they found no such thing and resigned to giving the group of you ugly looks before grumping off.
“Oh, very good, Padfoot,” Peter simpered, laughing heartily as tears of joy rolled down his plump cheeks.
“A little juvenile,” Remus scolded, smiling ruefully at his friends, “But funny. However, as a Prefect, I am not to indulge in such behavior and as such must sincerely reprimand you.”
“Most eloquently spoken, dear Moony. Tell me, does being a Prefect mean you have to be just a bit of a prat on principle?” James asked his friend, painting a serious look on his face as Sirius and Peter erupted into laughter. You let out a small giggle as Remus blushed slightly and put down his book.
“Well, you should sure as hell hope not,” Remus began, smiling mischievously at his friend. “Imagine fawning after Lily Evans for years, at her often utter disgust, only for her to end up being a prat. Talk about unfortunate, mate.”
The group of you were in stitches over Remus’ response, and even James let out a laugh.
“Touche, Moony. Touche,” he laughed, shaking his finger at Remus in a playful manner. A warm feeling spread through you; you were so happy to finally be going home.
with fans shipping you together, there’s no denying that you and Sirius looked like you were perfect for each other. along with that, a song you wrote made them convinced that it was about him.
“Make sure you get the beat this time, Sirius. You were way off.”
“I WAS NOT!”
“Sure, you weren’t….”
“Calm down, Pads. You’re just giving her what she wants.”
“And it feels good to see it happen.”
You flashed a smile to Sirius, who was rolling his eyes playfully, holding a firm grip on his drumsticks. A silent chuckle left your lips before hearing him start off with hitting his drumsticks together.
Remus follows along, strumming his strings of his electric guitar, James pressing his fingers down on the keyboard in the same tune.
It was a night before the next show you had. The four of you started this band as a joke but found content in performing. 5 years later, and you couldn’t even believe you were in a band with your best friends. Much less being successful and being well known for being recognized for your talent.
Being in a band had its ups and downs; song writing, budget for equipment, advertising, but most of all..
Relationships.
Being in a music group with 3 guys and being the only girl had people giving second ambiguous glances.
The question always popped up in interviews, “Are any of you dating or have been previously involved?”. It was really no one’s business but people couldn’t let go of the idea that if one of you were dating, they had to know.
As if they’ll pass away with the thought of not knowing.
One way or another, you were always spotted with at least one of the boys outside and people would often assume you were dating. Your news feed was almost scattered with pictures in the mall, a cafe, a bookstore with each of them.
Like the time the rest of the band wasn’t available and it was just you and Remus who went out for lunch. Also one instance where some fans caught you and Sirius heading to rehearsals together in the street, and James meeting you in a random bookstore.
Fan girls hated you for it, saying that you should just pick one and stick to it, and not alternate between James, Remus and Sirius in an attempt to mark your territory of some kind.
It was hard to believe that none of you were ever involved from the 5 years you all worked together. None of you ever liked each other.
Well, that you know of.
You, on the other hand…have had a few tiny feelings.
It was a few years back when Sirius spent most of the day with you when Remus and James would go out to ‘bond’. Things you didn’t used to see from him made your growing feelings deepen.
When it was the four of you, your focus was constantly divided. But when you were left alone with Sirius, you noticed the little things he still does that he picked up from a few years back. Like hooking his fingers on the loop of his jeans, spinning his drumsticks, humming tunes out of nowhere.
It didn’t help that fans were shipping you two together most of the time at shows and you’d often have to hide your amusement, along with your feelings.
But the risk of dating a fellow band member to just end up ending the relationship would cause a lot of trouble. Tension. Memories. And putting James, Remus and the supporters in a difficult position. Thankfully, those feelings went away before you could act on them any further.
You aren’t even in a relationship with him but your fans always make you worry. Not to mention they all suspect the one song you composed was about Sirius.
Because, well…they’re right.
But it also made you look back at the time you wrote 'Love Drum ’ if it was in any way too obvious that they all assumed it was about him.
‘HOW ARE THEY NOT DATING—’
‘Yeah I still ship it’
‘They’re together; no one can convince me otherwise’
“Alright”, James sighed. “Well, as much fun as that was, I’m starving.”
“Same here.” Remus spoke through the mic, his voice echoing through the empty stage, slouching his shoulders and bowing his head, the weight of the guitar weighing him even more down.
“I heard there’s a new place a few walks from here.” You replied back, moving away from the mic and reaching for your phone on the amplifier.
“Perfect!” Sirius cheered, setting down his drumsticks and standing up to stroll behind your place.
It took you only a few seconds of scrolling on your phone to notice the smell of his cologne nearby that made you turn your head behind to see him looking intently at your eyes. You gave him a grin when Remus and James looking towards your direction caught your attention and made you lose eye contact.
“My treat.” Grabbing your wallet, you locked eyes with Sirius before walking away and heading for the door.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
“Full already?” James asks, head turned to Remus. He nodded with scrunched eyebrows, looking even more exhausted than he did a few hours ago.
“Well, too bad. I heard the tour manager ordered a lot of beer.” Remus groans and you chuckled along with Sirius before glancing beside each other and maintaining eye contact for a minute.
Both of your gazes travel to each other’s hair, lips, the shade of your eyes. The clearing of your throat made you turn away and excused yourself to the bathroom.
Sirius followed your figure up to the wall that hid you from his view.
James and Remus exchanged knowing glances with a smirk creeping up to the corner of their lips, then landed their eyes on a very hypnotized Sirius Black, waiting for you to appear from the wall once again.
Once you got out of the bathroom, two girls approached you and asked for a picture. Sirius watches you exchange pleasantries with a few fans, a bright smile that makes his heart swell up.
“When are you gonna tell her, mate?” Remus interrupts, his eyes following to where Sirius was focused on. Turning back to his friend, he seems very swallowed up by you from afar.
“You sure she feels the same?” He suddenly replies. James scoffs, which caught his attention.
“Padfoot, you’ll never know until you try..”
“Life finds a way..” Remus says with a cheeky smile and a wink.
“Don’t quote Jurassic Park here, I’m serious.” Sirius glares at him.
“For once in your life, you actually used that reference right.”
“I—”
“You all good?” He got interrupted mid sentence to you walking up to the table. They all look at you quickly, eyes widened to the size of a coin that you could have easily been terrified. James nods and stands up, Remus and Sirius following along.
“Yeah.”
“I just got a call from the tour manager. You were right, James; he did order tons of beer.”
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“Alright.” James’ voice went through the speakers. “If any one of us are a bit off, just know that we had beer the night before.” The crowd from below the stage got into small chuckles while you and the others carefully put away the equipment.
“This is the part of the night where we answer some questions that will either ruin our career or just make it even more successful!” Sirius sarcastically smiles through the mic.
One member of the crew handed the mic to a girl, and she gave a huge smile before clearing her throat and speaking. “Where do you plan to go on tour next?”
“Hi, I’ll answer that one.”
“REMUS, I LOVE YOU!” A fan from the crowd shouted, and Remus chuckled, a small tint of crimson showing in his cheeks.
“I love you too, sweetheart!” He yells back and gives a flying kiss, and the hundreds of people gathered up yelled in response.
“Careful, Remus. We don’t want this one to faint like the other two..” You mischievously grinned through the mic.
“Well, you know. That’s what he’s known for.” James replies, walking to Remus and wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “Fainter of ladies.”
“We plan on maybe taking it internationally? Depends on any future decisions. Thank you for that question.”
The mic gets handed to a boy, almost the same age as you that had a shy smile.
“Hi, I’m your biggest fan, I know every single one of your songs. I just love all of you so much! But I wanted to ask, which song has a personal attachment to you? The one that stands out from the many others.”
“I’ll take this one.” You called out through the microphone. Everyone’s attention lands on you in anticipation. “Mine would have to be ’Love Drum’.”
Everyone yelled to the top of their lungs cheers and it made you laugh from how they were all pointing to Sirius.
“Yes, yes. Calm down, I’m turning deaf. But that’s the only actual song I wrote by myself. None of these dunderheads helped me. Unlike the others where I contribute to vocals and—”
“SHE’S SO PRETTY! RIGHT, SIRIUS?” A voice from the crowd echoed.
“Thank you, uh—”
“DO YOU NEED A DOG? I CAN BARK.” Following after that, the girl barks and your jaw drops with the rest of the crowd laughing.
“What breed is that?” Remus interrupts. “Sounds a lot like James.”
“MARRY ME!”
“WHERE’S THE RING?” You yelled back, scanning the crowd for the fan that asked.
“I’M FIRST IN LINE, SORRY!”
“No. I am.” A familiar voice made you turn your head side wards, only to see Sirius holding up the mic and looking at you a few steps away.
“WOAH!” James exaggerates, placing his hand on his chest.
“THAT TOOK A TURN!” Remus follows along with a forced shocked expression.
“Listen,” Sirius started. He faced you from afar while you stood still, wondering if your legs just became numb or you were just feeling things. “These buffoons have been trying everything they can to just make me say it—”
“For far too long.” Remus cuts off, standing beside James and shaking their heads.
“And who are you calling buffoons?” Sirius rolls his eyes playfully by their interruption but returns his focus back to you, with the most sincere eyes yet.
“And I’ll just say it…I like you.”
“CALLED IT!” A fan shouted from the back.
“Yeah uh, he has a picture of you together as his lock screen—” Remus randomly mumbles near the mic.
“WHICH PHOTO?”
“SHOW US!”
“I’m starting to regret that I did this in public.” Sirius chuckles, bowing his head to the floor and covering his eyes. The crowd goes silent and you were left with eye contact with Sirius, feeling so far but with only just a few steps away.
“You really should’ve told me this sooner, Sirius…” You said through the mic, before walking to his direction. Sirius’ heart paced faster the closer you got but dropped when you passed by him.
Suddenly, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer to you as you turned around, before your lips crashed together.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The whole crowd jumps up and down with cheers following along as they watch you both share your kiss.
Remus and James playfully hit each other and began jumping up and down so much that you could feel the vibration from where you were both standing.
“SEE? WE DID THAT!” Remus points to you and Sirius. “AND NAGGING WORKS!”
