“I’ve wanted to request Ultimate Imposter x Reader, but the reader has PTSD (the kind that leads to panic attacks and derealization).”
I would love to answer to your request! ^^
And I find this to be such a wholesome request as Ultimate Imposter is sadly very underrated in the Danganronpa community and he’s a large comfort character for me. In the anime, he was always there for Ryota and I’m glad I got this request.
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
Ultimate Imposter Comforts you During a Panic Attack (☆ - ❤︎)
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
Content/Trigger Warning: This fic has mentions of slight blood, mentions of PTSD, selfshaming, panic attacks, and the reader being in an overall state of stress and slight depression.
Comfort Angst.
FEM!Reader x Ultimate Imposter
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
A cabin had the door slammed shut a little bit ago. The window was wide open for air and the door was left unlocked. Whoever was in there wanted air and to be alone, but she knew someone would probably come by.
A girl curled up into a ball, shaking in fear. Just mere moments ago, she was coughing up whatever she had eaten down the toilet, only to see the red blood that is meant to be stored in her body.
Was this her punishment? Was this meant to happen? She was vulnerable.
A few days ago, Hiyoko was calling her a fat pig because she was bigger than the smaller girl. Naturally she was bigger and she knew Saionji was only saying it to get on her nerves, but she can’t help but feel insecure. Didn’t help the fact that this wasn’t the first time she was called overweight in her life.
She was shamed and bullied into thinking she was fatter than a cow. Just looking into a mirror, no matter how much she tries to see herself as perfect, she was just too big.
She didn’t fit in clothes, nor did she fit sitting on the couch with friends. When Nidai tried picking her up, he accidentally muttered about how she was heavier than everyone else. She knew he didn’t mean it. But still…
They began to cough into her hand from lack of air thanks to her crying.
“Hey…” That voice. It was coming from behind the door but you would be stupid not to know who it was. “Can I… Come in…?”
She hummed in acceptance, watching as he walked inside. She knew of his case and how he really wasn’t Togami. He’s even pretended to be Ryota for an entire 2 years. In agreement of her opening up about her insecurities to him, he opened up about some of his life to her.
He sat down with a huff and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s.. Going to be okay…”
She sniffled and more tears ran down her face. “I don’t understand… What did I ever do? Do I just not fit their expectations? Am I too nice? Am I too big? Am I too childish? Am I-” She was cut off with a pat to the head. She looked up and gazed into his eyes.
“Hey. You are you. And if nobody likes you that way, then they are stupid.” He looked into her eyes before pulling her into a hug. “I mean, look at me. There’s no way you’re bigger than me.” She laughed and wiped her away.
“You’re a nice person, you know that? Someone would have to be stupid to hate you.” She smiled softly at him.
He let out a small chuckle before looking out her window. “You’d be surprised really.” He pointed to her and continued to speak to her. “Listen closely. If anyone messes with you ever again, find me. I won’t hesitate to lecture them. Nobody will ever mess with you. I won’t allow it.”
The duo smiled at each other until he spoke up with, “C'mon. Food always solves this sort of problem.”
“I’m okay. I think I’ll just sleep for a bit..”
It was quiet. The nice quiet. Leaning into his chest, she relaxed her legs and let them fall a bit.
Silence. That’s all she needed.
As well as the comfort of The Ultimate Imposter. That’s all she needed.
That’s all she could ask for.
The two were cuddled up against each other. One was listening to her breathing. The other was listening to his heart beat.
They loved the moment dearly.
Blocking out the world, they fell asleep on the wooden floor. Together.
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
A/N: Ack- I’m so sorry this took so long, Anon! I kept getting distracted and then I was indulged in my own mental problems. I’m not the greatest at writing angst so it’s crying worthy, but it’s comfort. So The Ultimate Imposter cuddling you until you fall asleep on the floor is just what I personally would need.
Was I the only kid to ever fall asleep on the floor as a way of comfort?
Prompts:“I did it for you…for us.” Unrequited love trope.
Fandom:Hannibal
Pairings: Fem!Reader x OC, Francis x Fem!Reader (if you squint)
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence. Character death. Dark themes. Domestic abuse. Language.
Summary:Francis Dolarhyde is the quiet guy at work, the guy that no one wants to talk to. Apart from you. He knows that you’re being abused by your current boyfriend and takes matters into his own hands.
Comments/Notes: If anyone would like to be added to or removed from my tag list, please say. This fic is quite dark, but I’ve put all necessary warnings above. The ending has been left open for any sequels if people should wish for a second part, and also so the ‘unrequited’ part could potentially change. Hehe. You all know me. ;)
Summary: Dean and Sam like what they have together, and if screwing your brother screws with the universe’s “grand plan” while they’re at it, then even better. Neither of them has ever cared much for tradition or fate, but it turns out there are some destinies you can’t escape. Sometimes, someone is just made for you.
Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Unpresented!Sam Rating: 18+ Warnings: Incest Tags: Omegaverse, Alpha!Dean, Unpresented!Sam, somnophilia, Bottom!Sam, Top!Dean, Sam is a brat, when he’s awake at least, dirty talk, knotting, weirdly fluffy at the end Word Count: 2.3k Created For: @spnabobingo - Somnophilia | @spnkinkbingo - Wincest
Dean groans quietly as he strokes himself, trying to keep the noise down as best he can. Sam is asleep in the twin bed across the room, and Dean is very aware that his little brother has a big English test tomorrow because he wouldn’t fucking shut up about it all day. He’d spent their whole Sunday pouring over his notes and worrying himself into a frenzy, and when Dean offered to provide him with a little stress relief, he’d snapped louder than peanut brittle.
Hey! I found an angsty prompt for a Fairy Tail fanfic a while back and have been wanting to write it for a long time. Can’t remember where I saw it, but if I figure it out, I’ll make sure to tag them in this! Anyways, hope you like it! And if anyone understands the references to the book/movie in this story, you are awesome!
The feeling of the old leather book cover was hardly noticeable to Lucy, as she was engrossed in her book. The book had seen better days, having been damaged from being read over and over. She was so focused on the story, traveling to a far away land only found in the pages of this book, that she didn’t notice a certain pink haired wizard coming up behind her. “Lucy! Let’s go! I got our next job.” But the celestial mage didn’t hear him, turning to the next page in the story. Natsu stopped and looked over Lucy’s shoulder, reading the next line out loud. “To die would be an awfully big adventure? What does that mean? Sounds stupid.” This time Lucy heard him, and jumped at realizing how close he was. Then when it registered what he had said, she jumped to her favorite book’s defense, chasing Natsu around the guild hall. “Its not stupid! The hero of the story is cornered by the villain but is still trying to be brave for his friends! He is scared, but doesn’t want to scare his friends! This is a great story, with great writing, and don’t you dare insult it again! As Lucy stands there, out of breath, Natsu walks up, grabbing her wrist. "Sounds sappy to me. Come on! We have work to do.”
Natsu, and Lucy had made camp for the night, just a little ways outside of the town where their job was. Gray, Erza, and Wendy would meet them in the town tomorrow afternoon. While they sat around the fire, Lucy pulled her book out again and read by the fire light. Natsu just stared at her as she was reading for the longest time. Until Lucy finally looked up. “What? Why are you staring at me?” Natsu looked at the tattered book in Lucy’s hand. He had seen her reading this book several times before. “Tell me something. Why do you love that book so much? You read it all the time. Surely it gets old after a while.” Lucy looks at Natsu, before looking down at the book cover fondly. “Well, its because of the memories I have with this book. This was my mother’s favorite story. She would read it all the time, and then finally when I was ten, she read it to me. It was an amazing story filled with adventures and sword fights and even a few pirates. We must have read it together a dozen times.” Lucy paused, her smile fading from her face. “But then, mom got sick. So I would read it to her every day. It always made her smile when I did. Not long after that, she passed away. After that, I always kept this book with me and would read it all the time. It was one of the few connections I still had with my mom. Any time I read it, I felt like she was right there with me. I love this book, because my mom loved this book and its a way to still be close with her.”
Natsu just sat quietly listening. He understood what Lucy was talking about. It was kind of like him and his scarf. It was a connection to Igneel. Lucy looked back up at Natsu. “Sorry to dump all that on you. I know to you its just a sappy book, but to me its the best book I have ever read. Anyway, we should go to bed. Its late and we have a job in the morning. The two got ready for bed, and Lucy quickly fell asleep. But Natsu decided to do something else. He crept over to Lucy’s pack and grabbed the old book. He went and sat back by the fire and turned to the first page. He spent all night reading that book. In the morning, before Lucy woke up, he slipped the book back in her pack and laid on his bed roll. He was exhausted, but he had to admit, it was a good book. Maybe if he had slept instead, he wouldn’t have been so tired, and he wouldn’t have gotten hurt.
Lucy heard Natsu yell from behind her. They had gone into town to get the information for the job, but were ambushed. The job was a fake, posted by a dark guild that wanted revenge for a Fairy Tail team roughing up their members. It was only Natsu and her in town, the others hadn’t arrived. So they were on their own. Natsu had taken the leader, and Lucy was dealing with the others. There weren’t that many opponents, so it should have been fine. She had just finished with her opponents when she heard Natsu yell. She whipped around just in time to see the leader’s sword go through Natsu’s stomach. She stared in horror as Natsu collapsed to the ground. She summoned Loke to keep the leader busy and raced to Natsu’s side, praying to anyone who would listen that he was alive.
Lucy dropped to her knees beside Natsu, looking for any signs that he was alive. When she saw that he was breathing, she almost collapsed in relief. But he was bleeding too much from his wounds. She pulled some bandages from her pack and pressed on the wound, earning a groan from Natsu. He started to wake up, and looked at Lucy with eyes fogged by pain. He could see the battle between Loke and the dark guild leader behind her and it wasn’t going well. If Lucy stayed here, she would be in serious trouble. "Lucy, listen. You need to go. Run and go find Gray, Erza, and Wendy. They must be close, so it won’t be hard to find them. Go!” Lucy didn’t even look at him, to focused on stopping the bleeding. “No! If I leave, and don’t stop the bleeding, you’ll die! I won’t let you die.” Natsu gave her a pained smile. “To die would be an awfully big adventure.” Lucy jolted hearing that line, and looked right at Natsu, tears in her eyes. Natsu grimaced, but smiled at Lucy again. “That’s it right? That’s the line from that sappy book of yours, right? Hah, nailed it!” Lucy almost lost the grip on the bandages in her shock. “You read the book?” Natsu’s smile was becoming more strained as the pain in his stomach grew unbearable. “Last night, didn’t finish though. But I got to that line you love so much. And it may be sappy, but its a good story.”
Natsu was quickly fading and that was obvious to Lucy. She replaced the now blood soaked bandages and pressed down on the wound again, but it wasn’t doing any good. The bandages were quickly soaking through with blood again. Lucy grabbed more bandages, even knowing it was doing no good. She couldn’t sit here and do nothing! She just had to keep him alive until Wendy and the others got here. She had to keep trying. Her voice shook as she tried to keep Natsu talking. “Well, then you have to get better. You have to finish the book. We can finish it together. And W-We can go on tons of adventures. Together. All the time, any time you want. Every day for the rest of our lives, will be full of adventure and excitement, okay? I promise, we will have the best adventures of our lives. But you have to get better Natsu. You just have to! Please don’t make me break that promise. Just hold on!” Natsu’s eyes closed, but he was still smiling. His voice was quiet now, quieter than Lucy had ever heard it. “Yeah, sounds like fun Lucy. Let’s go on more adventures…” Natsu trailed off, and Lucy felt her heart stop. “Natsu? Natsu?! Please Natsu, wake up!”
Tears streamed down Lucy’s cheeks, but she wouldn’t give up. His breathing was slow, as was his heartbeat, but it was there. He was still breathing and his heart was still beating. And that was enough for Lucy. She heard Loke yell from behind her, and felt his gate close. But she wouldn’t leave Natsu. If she left, he would bleed to death before Lucy got back. So she stayed focused on Natsu, even as she felt the footsteps of the dark guild leader approach her from behind. He had long since abandoned his sword and started punching Lucy from behind. But Lucy wouldn’t let go of Natsu. She would never just let him die. Then, just as darkness started to invade her vision, she heard someone call, “Natsu! Lucy!” She felt a blast of cold behind her, and when she looked, the leader was now completely encased in a blast of ice. She looked at the tree line and saw Gray, Erza and Wendy running toward them. Good. Wendy is here. She will help Natsu. With that last thought, the darkness completely took over Lucy’s vision.
When Gray, Erza and Wendy finally got to the two unconscious wizards, they were horrified to see the condition of their friends. Wendy got right to work, healing Natsu as best she could. She was able to stabilize him, but he remained unconscious. Lucy was healed when Wendy recovered, and woke up pretty quickly. Now, Lucy sat by Natsu’s bedside in the guild’s infirmary. She wouldn’t leave his side. She wanted to be here when he woke up. She had started passing the time by reading that old book to him. It seemed silly, but she had always read to her mom when she was sick, and it just seemed right to read to him now. She was about half way through the book, and she had arrived at that scene. Where the hero is cornered and says that line. That line Natsu had said while he lay bleeding in front of her. She instantly started to cry, remembering that horrible day. She hung her head and silently cried. But then she heard a quiet, raspy voice. “Why did you stop reading Lucy?” She whipped her head up and stared into the now open eyes of Natsu Dragneel. “Why did you stop? You were just getting to a good part, and I want to know what happens next. And maybe after you finish the book, we can go on those adventures you promised me?” Lucy smiled, tears of happiness now running down her face. “Yeah. Lets go on an adventure!”
It was all coming to the surface, everything before and after the breakup, all of the feelings the two of you had buried, squashed down and tried to pretend didn’t still exist. The flood gates were open and good or bad the two of you needed closure.
“Don’t walk away from me!” You snap with a roll of your eyes. “You have something to say Sirius so just say it for fucks sake.” Sirius’ shoulders tense as you follow him into the kitchen, his back towards you. He picks up a glass from the bench, turning it over a couple of times in his hands before flinging it into the sink with so much force you jump, the glass shattering on impact. He braces himself on the bench, hunched over the sink, his tone short, clipped and dangerously low. You’d almost rather him yell at you.
“Say? There’s nothing to say. You fucked off y/n, you left. You packed your shit and didn’t look back,” He turns to look at you, a humourless laugh ringing in your ears, a flash of lightning illuminating the few tears on his cheeks. “You never gave me a chance to say anything…”
You shrunk back, wrapping your arms around yourself as you looked at the floor. You knew heartbreak, but this felt different. This was raw, excruciating… like someone had attached you both to a live wire and turned the voltage up to high. The two of you stood there, opposite sides of the room, breathing heavily. You felt some of your anger soften, replaced with the desire to walk over there and wipe the tears off his cheeks. You thought you were doing the right thing by leaving, you and Sirius were destroying each other day by day, bit by bit. There were things you couldn’t work through, issues that ran too deep.
Neither of you had spoken in over a week when you left. You had selfishly tricked yourself into thinking that leaving was going to be the best for both of you. A clean slate. Instead you protected yourself from getting hurt while doing the exact opposite to him. You step towards him, closing the distance while reaching out with your hand. Sirius shrinks back from your touch but doesn’t stop you from cupping his cheek, your thumb gently tracing the line of his jaw.
The scruff on his face scratches enticingly at your skin and it’s a sensation you didn’t realise you missed until now. Sirius breathes deeply and closes his eyes, lips parted, hands twitching by his side. He takes a long, slow breath, then another and another and you can see some of the tension slip away from his body.
“I’m sorry,” You whisper the words but they feel louder as they cut through the quiet.
When Sirius doesn’t say anything you go to draw your hand away, surprised when he reaches out and holds your wrist. He leans further into your touch as the tears slip silently down his cheeks, catching in the palm of your hand. Everything around you seems to pause, the walls around him coming down, the bitterness you’d held onto easing. It’s like you’re both standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the void, waiting for the other person to say ‘jump’first.
A couple of minutes pass, a few more breaths mixed together in the air and you jump. Repercussions be damned.
Pushing up on your toes you kiss him, pressing yourself against his chest. His mouth is as soft as you remember, his lips moulding against yours with little adjusting, like there hadn’t been any time at all between your last kiss and this one. Sirius doesn’t move right away, stuck frozen in shock. It takes you mumbling another sorry into his mouth to get a reaction. When he kisses you back it’s hard, full of want and regret. His hands find home on your hips, fingertips digging into the soft, supple flesh. You rake your fingers into his hair, your nails dragging over his scalp, drawing a deep groan from the back of his throat. He pushes you back until your back hits the wall behind you, his knee pressing between your legs to hold them apart. You nip playfully at his bottom lip, sucking it between your teeth before soothing away the sting with your tongue, tasting the salt from his tears. The kiss deepens as the two of you become entangled fully, hands roaming over bodies, rediscovering lost intimacy.
When you pull away Sirius moves his lips to the juncture of your neck, peppering kisses over your skin as your chest heaves. Wrapping your arms around his neck the two of you stumble and giggle until you’re back in the living room. You can see him better in here, his face not shrouded in shadow. He looks at you, candle light dancing in his bright grey eyes, your heart thumping wildly inside your chest. A light blush covers your cheeks as you glance up at his swollen lips, heat spreading through every inch of your body as you draw his lips back to yours, parting your lips so his tongue can slip inside your mouth.
He drops to the couch, keeping you in his arms, your knees digging into the cushions either side of his hips. You edge your fingers under the hem of his t-shirt, his stomach flexing as you flatten the palm of your hand and slide it over his skin. The kiss breaks as he reefs the shirt over his head, eyes dark and needy. You sit back on his lap and bite the corner of your lip, feeling that familiar stirring of arousal settle in the pit of your belly.
Sirius sits forward, his nose almost bumping yours as he toys with the edge of your shirt, your nipples hard through the fabric. You open your mouth, swallowing a moan as he pulls it up and over your head, exposing your heated skin to the cool air. You resist the urge to cover yourself back up as goosebumps erupt over your arms and back, Sirius’ eyes roaming over you hungrily. He brushes his fingers up your sides and across your ribs, stopping just below each breath. He watches your reaction as he circles a nipple with the tip of his finger, dragging it agonizingly slow over the hard little nub. You squeeze your legs around him in anticipation, feeling him harden beneath you. Dropping your hand down you run it over the front of his sweats, teasing him with feather light touches. You quiver as he flicks out his tongue, wetting his lips.
You want to draw it out, savour the breathy moans and light touches, but you need him, all of him. Now.Sirius pinches a nipple between two fingers as he drags a thumb over your lips with his other hand. You gasp and arch forward, subconsciously rolling your hips to create the friction you’re craving.
“Want you,” You simper. “Need you…Siri.”
The nickname tumbles from your lips and seems to spur him on, his lips re-attaching to your neck as he sucks a dark mark into the flesh. He hooks an arm around your waist, lifting you up enough that he can shimmy his pants down, his cock slapping thick, heavy and hard against his stomach, glistening with precum at the tip. There’s another lump in your throat as you listen to the obscene noises Sirius makes, pumping himself gently, and it makes you want to slip off his lap and suck him greedily into your mouth.
You don’t. Instead you wrap your hand around his base, taking over his movements as you enjoy the weight of him in your hand. Sirius’ head rolls back on the couch, his hands still holding you as you slide over him, smearing the precum with the pad of your thumb. “Nuhugh, stop, stop…” You slow your actions, smiling at the obvious effect it has on him. “I want - I -”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, trailing off as you readjust yourself, pulling your panties to the side - incredibly thankful you hadn’t bothered to put pants back on when you got dressed. Sirius lines himself up, keeping still as you sink down onto his length until he is fully rooted inside of you, stretching you out comfortably. He grunts deeply, dropping his head to your shoulder as you dig your nails into his upper arms, your whole body humming in pleasure. Slowly you begin to rock your hips, tangling your fingers into his hair and tugging on the curls. Neither of you are in any rush, happy to keep it slow, pouring everything you couldn’t put into words into your touches.
Sirius snaps his hips up as you move, thrusting deeper each time, his cock sliding over just the right spot each time. You feel full and content, something you hadn’t for months and it makes you realise how much you missed him, how hard it was to be away from him. His name tumbles from your lips over and over as you feel that coil deep in your belly tighten, your eyes finding his again as your legs tremble. There’s a thin sheen of sweat around his hairline, his cheeks flushed. He snakes a hand down between your bodies, his finger finding your clit, your body convulsing with pleasure as he rubs a tight circle over the bundle of nerves. You cry out, leaning forward until your forehead is pressed against Sirius’, his lips finding yours again as he picks up his pace.
It builds and it builds and it builds and -
“Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” You drag out the word in a whimper, tumbling into euphoria, your orgasm bursting white behind your eyes. Everything else fades away except for the feeling of Sirius, the sound of his moans as he gets closer to his own end. His movements slow down considerably, his hips barely moving when he grunts out something you still aren’t coherent enough to hear, his teeth scraping over your shoulder. He empties himself inside of you and the sensation brings his name back to your lips, his arms tightening around you, keeping you pressed against his chest.
You’re too blissed out for the next few moments that you miss when Sirius pulls back out of you, turning around to lay you on the couch as he stands up, tucking himself back into his pants. He gives you a soft, genuine smile and you return it, watching him walk back up the hallway. You miss his warmth immediately, shivering as you curl in on yourself. He comes back with a warm washcloth, cleaning up the mess left on your thighs. When he’s done you reach for him, tugging him back down, snuggling into him as he runs a hand up and down your spine. When he sighs you feel your stomach sink, a feeling of dread overtaking everything else. You hold your breath as you peak at him from the corner of your eyes, waiting for what you know is coming. “So I guess we should talk about what just happened.” “…Yeah,” You mumble.
You feel sick and suddenly very self conscious. You’re still lying there against him, mostly naked and now you wished you’d paid attention to where he threw your top earlier. It’s the pin you didn’t want to drop, the reality that the two of you are still very much broken up, whatever just happened doesn’t change that. Sirius has been quiet long enough now that your body feels rigid and tense while you wait for him to say that you need to go, that this was a one time thing to help you both move on, to get closure.
You don’t even know how to articulate that that’s not what you want anymore, hell it wasn’t even what you wanted to begin with, but staying here and fighting with him seemed like the worse option at the time.
You try and pull away, ready to shut down and protect yourself but Sirius senses the shift in your mood straight away, holding you against him tighter. He looks down at you, hooking his thumb under your chin when you refuse to meet his eyes, frowning at the expression on your face.
“I don’t regret it,” He says seriously. “I don’t, it’s just…” He cuts himself off with a sigh. “It was so hard when you walked out y/n, I didn’t know what to do with myself… I can’t go through that again and I don’t think you can either.” “I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” You reply, almost too afraid to know the answer. “I’m saying we gotta be in or out, all the way, no going back and changing our minds.”
This time it’s you that’s quiet, the hurt and bitterness bubbling back into your system as you mull over his words. It’s not like his wrong… you know that, but the ultimatum leaves you feeling conflicted. “We broke up for a reason Siri… those issues, they’re all still there. Nothings changed; what makes you think we can work through it this time?” “Maybe we can’t,” He replies. “Maybe we can… all I know is that I love you.” “…I love you too. I’m just not sure it’s enough anymore.”
Sirius tugs you back onto his lap, his face buried into your hair as you wrap your arms around him, wishing that you didn’t have to let go. You lay there, locked together as the storm outside eases, the thunder disappearing into the distance with the lightning. All that’s left is the rain, like the sky outside is openly weeping for the both of you.
Summary: Good or bad, sometimes all you need is closure.
A/N: Again, it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything but I had this one sitting in my drafts so I thought I’d go back through, fix it up a little and post it. Originally it was 5k + so I’ve broken it in half. I’ll post the other half once I’ve finished going through it. I really hope you like this one ! x
It blankets the city in a thick sheet of rain, thunder rumbling in the distance as the lightning flickers through the dark clouds. It was wild and chaotic, the worst storm that London had had in months; the big, fat drops of water enough to send everyone scurrying under cover. The drizzly evening matched your mood perfectly as you sat in your car, goose bumps prickling along your skin from your damp clothes, the windshield fogging up even more with each frigid breath.
You close your eyes and sigh, clenching and unclenching your fists around the steering wheel as you war with yourself. You’d made the decision with a clear head this morning, convincing yourself it was what you wanted to do, but now you weren’t so sure, a rolling train of insecurities flooding through your mind. Opening your eyes you glance over at the box sitting on your passenger seat, a thousand memories you didn’t want to think about mixed in with the knick knacks. That damn box had been mocking you for the last five days and you’d finally had enough. After all, you were the one that had the ridiculous notion in your head that doing this was going to bring you some kind of closure; that seeing him again, when neither of you were angry and out for blood might take away some of the hurt.
Sucking your bottom lip between your teeth you look through the window, to the townhouse your parked in front of, the large front windows lit up from inside. You loved those windows, the way the sun would pour in first thing in the morning, warming your favourite spot on the couch. It didn’t seem fair, that the house you used to call home still had so much life to it while you were barely making it through each day, drifting further and further from the person you used to be. Your car keys jingle in your hand and once again you’re fighting yourself over what to do. You don’t even know if he’s home, you could just drop the box off at the door and leave, make a clean getaway and go back to pretending your moving on with your life but…
No. Despite everything you need to see him.
Dragging the box up onto your lap you give yourself no time to overthink before heading out into the rain, shivering as cold water runs down your back. You hurry up the driveway but by the time you make it to the front step your still saturated, the reasonably neat bun you’d worn your hair in now a soggy, limp mess at the back of your head. The flood light comes on above you and you freeze, eyes wide as the lock on the door clicks. You start wondering how quickly you can run back to your car before he realises who it is but before you can make any kind of choice the door swings open.
Your throat constricts, your heart beating so fast inside your chest you’re worried it might just give out. Sirius stands there in the doorway, bathed in the soft glow from the house, wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. His curls are deliciously messy, haphazardly pulled back in a loose bun and there’s more scruff on his face then you were used to seeing. You force yourself to swallow around the hard lump in the back of your throat.
His brow dips as he looks at you dripping on his welcome mat, clearly as surprised to see you as you were over being caught. You shuffle awkwardly on the spot, feeling your cheeks get warm. “Hi…” You thrust the box towards him with the lame greeting. “I found some of your stuff mixed in with mine and I just thought I’d…drop them off.” “In the middle of a thunderstorm?”
His voice is like a hard slap to the face, at the same time making you miss him more while also dredging up all the heartbreak you’d tried squashing down. Your relationship had crumbled to pieces in front of your eyes eight weeks ago and by the abysmal end you weren’t on speaking terms. You’d packed up your things and walked out without so much as a backwards glance.
“Yeah… I was - I was on my way… home.” You choke out the last word. You didn’t think of the apartment you moved into home and you don’t think you ever will. This was your home, the place you’d shared with Sirius for the last five years, the place you missed with your whole heart.
Sirius blows out a long sigh and shoves his hand through his hair, tangling it up even more. He chews the corner of his lip, eyes darting between the box in your hands and your dishevelled appearance. An awkward, miserable silence settles between the two of you as you lightly bounce on the balls of your feet. “I guess it’s kind of cold out here,” His tone isn’t angry but it’s not all that welcoming either. “You can come in while the rain eases.”
Yes.Yes… that’s all you want. To go inside and forget all about the last two months, and the three before that were you and Sirius were constantly at each other’s throats. You want it to all go back to how it was before, when you knew that he was who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. When your friends didn’t have to feel guilty over spending time with one of you and not the other. You just wanted it to go back to when Sirius loved you more than anything else… You knew it wouldn’t though. There was no going back.
You shake your head as you take a step back, willing the few tears in the corner of your eyes to stay there. You place the box down, suddenly remembering why you were there in the first place. “I - I gotta go.”
No more than five feet down the driveway you feel Sirius’ hand grab your arm, stopping you from leaving. His grip isn’t tight, you could pull away if you wanted to, but his touch feels like a live wire on your skin and you can’t move. Another crack of thunder - this one closer - sounds above your head, the rain cascading down over your body as you look up at your ex, his shirt now glued to his body, accentuating the planes of muscle under the fabric. “You can’t drive in this weather,” He reasons. “Come inside.”
Against your better judgement you let him lead you into the house, immediately missing the warmth of his touch as he lets you go to close and lock the door. You wrap your arms around yourself, only now realising how much you’re actually shivering. Sirius seems to notice as well because he frowns, his hand twitching by his side as though he’s trying to decide if he should reach out to you again. He looks conflicted, like he’s tossing up over whether he should care or not that you’re cold.
“I can get you some dry clothes,” He says, motioning towards the hallway. “Why don’t you have a shower and warm yourself up, I think there’s still some of your stuff in the cupboard. I … I didn’t go through it.” “It’s fine,” You force out, your voice no higher than a whisper. “I don’t want to impose and I really should be going anyway.” “I told you, you can’t drive in weather like this. A shower won’t hurt right? You’ll feel better.” It might hurt, you think. But truthfully a shower did sound pretty good right about now.
Once you agree you follow Sirius down the hall, stopping a couple of doors before he does. You flip on the light in the bathroom, breathing in deeply as you smell his body wash lingering on the air. Everything looks exactly the same - minus your makeup littering the vanity and it makes you kind of sad. Sirius taps his knuckles on the door jam, making you jump as you turn to face him. He holds out some clothes, looking at everything except you as you take them gratefully. There’s a bitter sting in your chest as you notice they’re his clothes. You suppose there’s nothing of yours still here but it still makes your throat feel dry as you hold them against your chest. “Thanks,” You mumble. “Take all the time you want, don’t feel like you have to rush or anything.”
He walks away and you shut the door, leaning back against it heavily as you bring the clothes up to your nose, inhaling the scent on them, catching the barely there whiff of your perfume. It was the t-shirt you always used to wear to bed. Faded, old and full of more holes then a golf course, but you loved it and not all that long ago Sirius loved seeing you in it. Leaving them on the vanity you turn on the tap, letting it warm all the way up before stripping out of your clothes. You step under the stream of water, cold feet burning as the water hits them. It’s the right kind of pain though. There wasn’t much better than a shower when you were cold.
For a few minutes you just stand there, the heat relaxing some of the tension in your muscles. You think about everything that had happened tonight, confused why Sirius was acting the way he was. There was a part of you that had assumed he’d slam the door in your face, spit something hurtful and tell you that he never wanted to see you ever again. Best case scenario you thought he wouldn’t open the door at all, just leaving you standing outside looking like the fool. The fact that he was being kind of… nice made you feel guilty for thinking those things about him. Just because you weren’t dating anymore didn’t mean that he was going to stop caring. Of all the things that Sirius was, he was never cruel. Tonight more than proved that.
Rinsing the body wash off you stepped out of the shower, digging your toes into the fluffy mat as you grabbed your towel, the steam still swirling around the small room. You take your time drying off, nervous about heading back there and facing him. You don’t know how to talk to him anymore, even though at one point he’d been one of your best friends - long before he was your boyfriend. You’re just slipping his old t-shirt over your head when the light cuts out, bathing you in sudden darkness. You reach blindly for where you think the switch is, flipping it a couple of times when you find it, groaning when it does nothing to help. It takes a couple of goes but you finally find the door handle, fully expecting that the bathroom globe had just blown and the rest of the house would still be lit up. The whole house is in darkness though, the hairs standing up on the back of your neck as you head towards the living room, an eerie kind of silence filling the house. It’s too quiet without the background noise of the tv or fridge, the only sound coming from the storm outside. “Sirius?” You call out hesitantly, the lightning flashing in the windows casting long shadows along the walls.
You feel something graze across your shoulder and you turn quickly, the scream dying in your throat as you see Sirius standing behind you, his face lit up by the torch on his phone. “The whole streets out,” He says flatly. “Does your phone have much battery?” “Uh…” You head back into the bathroom, the light from Sirius’ phone making it easier to see where you left yours on the vanity. You frown when you check the battery levels. “It’s only got about thirty three percent, won’t last long.”
Sirius groans, scrubbing a hand over his face as he looks off towards the living room, a frown on his face, his expression guarded, unreadable. “You don’t remember if we had a torch do you?” “I don’t think so,” You answer, wrapping your arms tight around yourself. “I think there’s some candles in the lounge though… or there was.”
Without a word he shuffles past you and walks down the hall. You follow behind him, watching as he grabs some candles from the cupboard on the tv cabinet. It feels a lot like he just packed you away, hid all the things that reminded him of you. He grabs the matches from the same cupboard, striking one and lighting the candles he’d scattered across the coffee table. Soon the room is illuminated with a soft light. It feels warmer somehow, like it’s taken the chill off the room. Sirius sits on the couch and suddenly that awkward silence is back.
Biting your lip you move across and sit down, keeping as far from him as possible, holding your hands tightly in your lap. You hate how it is between the both of you, how this breakup had rocked the two of you down to your core. While you were simply trying to make it through each new day, Sirius had put walls up around himself and was clearly in no hurry to let you know how he was really feeling. You bite the edge of your lip and wring your hands together. “Crazy storm hey?” You aim for light hearted customer service voice but it comes out forced and a little flat.
Sirius scoffs. “You want to talk about the weather? Really?” “Well it doesn’t seem like you want to have any other kind of conversation… actually it seems like you prefer not talking at all, so let’s just sit here in awkward silence.” “There’s nothing to say.” “You and I both know that’s not true. I just want you to talk to me Sirius, hell yell at me if it’s going to make you feel better; get everything off your chest. Just say something.” “Why now y/n? Why do you suddenly want to air all our dirty laundry? It’s not like you were this desperate to talk about it before.” “That’s not fair,” You reply, digging your fingernails into the palm of your hands. “I tried talking to you, for months before we ended things Sirius. You’re the one that never wanted to deal with it.”
Sirius stands abruptly, stalking to the other side of the room before whirling back to face you, that unreadable expression - the one he’d been wearing since he opened the door - finally breaking. You can’t see him properly from all the shadows in the room but you can see enough to notice the hurt in his eyes. He opens his mouth a couple of times, trying to find the right way to say what he wants to. When he can’t, he storms from the room. You watch him go with a frustrated sigh.
It was all coming to the surface, everything before and after the breakup, all of the feelings the two of you had buried, squashed down and tried to pretend didn’t still exist. The flood gates were open and good or bad the two of you needed closure.
Cerebral Palsy With ADHD: 100 PERCENT EFFORT FOR NOTHING, AUTOMATIC AND AUTOPILOT, LET’S GO LET’S GO-
Cerebral Palsy With Autism: Yeah, sure, of course we’re going, give us a fucking minute you whippersnappers, just a sec we need to flip the On Off switch to Broke.
Cerebral Palsy With Fibromyalgia: TAH DAH. SARD BORKEN.
request by @idunnocih: Hiii ! Could I please request an elliot x reader with the scene were Jules and Elliot are talking abt rue excpet there talking abt the reader ? Like the scene where Jules is sitting in the window sill ? All good if no lol :) also your Elliot fic was soooo good !!!
.ೃ࿐
: Jules suspicions of Elliot having a crush on y/n grew after seeing something, so she decides to ask him straight up.
: 2.6k
Jules sat in the windowsill by Elliot’s bed, she ha djust put down her phone after trying to get in contact with Rue who wasn’t answering. A deep frown on her face as she looked out the window while Elliot played a soft tune on his guitar, plucking mindlessly on the strings.
Her mind then wandered to one of the things that had been bugging her for quite a while. She thought about all those videos she’d seen in his phone off y/n, all those sweet photos and videos of just her goofing around or just being, well, y/n. It was cute, really, Elliot had so many videos of her doing something and then him laughing. A few were saved snaps that she’d already seen.
One, for example, was a video of y/n laying deep asleep with her head half resting on Elliot’s chest as he simply gave a tight-lipped smile and then thumbs up, a snap that original were for Rue.
The there just were those where y/n would sit in class and she’d do a face while turning to look at Elliot for help but knowing damn well the boy weren’t much smarter than herself.
It was all just something Jules found so strange, how he had all these pictures and in them it was as if they were a couple, but they weren’t. She immediately remembered one photo of Elliot sitting with y/n behind him, jokingly kissing his head, it was even his lockscreen. Were they in a secret relationship? No, y/n wouldn’t be able to hide that, Jules knew her all to well, and so did Rue who even interrogated y/n about her and Elliot.
“Why can’t I shake the feeling that there’s just something you’re not telling me?” Jules asked after pondering on what she’d seen a couple of days ago. Elliot stopped his playing and shrugged slightly.
“I don’t know,” And the playing continued. But Jules didn’t wanna stop the asking just yet, she needed to know.
“Like why don’t believe you right now? There is something you’re not telling me,” Jules pressed on and once more the playing stopped.
“Is it the face tats?” Elliot asked but Jules simply chuckled and shook her head.
“No, no it’s not the face tats.”
“Then what?” Elliot asked once more, he wanted to know, just not knowing that it was that one thing Jules were to ask about.
Silence followed as Jules looked down at her phone again quickly to see if Rue had answered but nothing. Staring at the screen that displayed a picture of Rue, herself and y/n all dressed up, it was a mirror picture.
“Do you have a crush on y/n?” She sounded almost energetic about knowing, however it made Elliot halter his moves and turn his head ever so slightly to look at Jules. Heart beating a bit faster at the mention of y/n.
“I do,” He looked away as if he had committed a crime by falling for y/n, but how could he not?
She was just like all three of them, she had her own personal problems to which she sloved by music, a bit of weed or some drug, staying up late and pretending that it was nothing.
It was the way she had just simply cought his eye once they first met, when Jules was first unsure of him and Rue which turned out only to be platonic. He asked her to hang out and y/n happily said yes, getting high with him and listening to his music with calm face.
Everytime he played something her eyes fell shut and she would fall down on his bed and just smile, head moving to him playing. Those nights she stayed over, deciding to diss her extremely dysfunctional family. How she’d always look so relaxed once she’d fallen asleep next to him.
Jules smile grew as she remembered all the voice messages she had in her phone of y/n rating about how Elliot somehow made her stutter, heat up, or just her ranting about how God truly must have had a good day when creating Elliot. Jules let out a snort at the voice messages and quickly Elliot had stood up. As if he though she were laughing at him.
Within seconds he had put down his guitar and pulled out a blunt to smoke, wanting the blush that probably painted his face to dissappear.
“You like y/n?” Jules asked more so she could get it confirmed once more, but Elliot just lit the blunt and dropped down on his bed, laying on his back and looking at the ceiling.
“I’m not saying any more ‘cause you’re just gonna make fucking fun of me,” Elliot told her off with a sour look.
“The only person that should be made fun of is me,” Jules said with a sigh, Elliot took a drag of his blunt and just looked at her. “I thought you liked Rue but clearly you had your eyes on someone else this whole time.”
They stayed quiet for a few minutes, the only sound coming from Elliot when he took a few breaths of his blunt. Breathing out clouds of smoke. Usally it wasn’t Jules there with him but y/n, she would just simply dance around if any music were on, stealing his blunt and taking a few drags of it.
“I don’t think y/n likes me,” Elliot then blurted out and Jules brows raised with the statement.
“Why don’t you think so?”
“She seems like.. not like the kind of girl to do relationships, you know? Like she doesn’t want a relationship.”
“That’s not true,” Jules quickly spoke up.
“Really?” Elliot didn’t sound convinced however, he looked rather unsure, squinting at Jules to see if she was messing with him.
“No, that’s not true at all.” Jules immediately shut him down, shaking her head.
“You think y/n like a relationship kinda person?”
“I mean, yeah, kind of.” Jules shrugged at him, knowing that the girl wanted a relationship but with the fright of seeing everyone she loved around her have such broken relationships, it’s scared her from a young age. So she simply didn’t go into the love zone.
“Yeah, well, then you’re full of shit.” Elliot rolled his eyes, heart aching a bit as he thought about it.
“It’s true,” Jules quickly spoke. “How do you know, have you asked her about it?”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“Exactly. And who’s known her longer, oh, wait, that’s me.” Jules put a hand on her chest when saying me.
Elliot, however, didn’t care, he had noticed how everytime they got close to stepping over the line as friends to lovers she just backed away. If he did something that was remotely close to what a couple would do, she’d back away. He held her hand? She would act as if needing it then putting it the pockets of her pants. They hugged? She would just hug him lightly before then wanting him to let her go. Only time being close was fine was when they danced to some music, then bumping into him and all that was fine.
“I don’t know what kind of voodoo Elliot is doing but he needs to fucking stop,”
The voice were y/n’s, coming from a voice message on Jules phone as she smoked with a raised brow as Elliot sat up, clearly confused. Taking a last breath of his blunt before putting it out.
“What the fuck?” His voice low as he looked at her phone.
“No, I’m so damn serious Jule, since when do I suddenly like a someone? Since never! I’ve never liked anyone like this before, but this damn idiot just strutts into my life, and suddenly, BOOM, y/n l/n likes Elliot.”
This made Elliot just stare at Jules phone, hearing what y/n had sent to Jules really made everything stop. Was he happy? Yes, very much. Hearing her say she liked him, hearing her angelic voice say what he wanted her to say but thought he’d never hear her say made his heart beat faster. As ge just stared at the phone, Jules noticed his cheeks flush a crimson color and it made her giggle.
“No, she’s nor the relationship kinda girl, she’s never been in one, but she do want one and she really likes you.” Jules wanted for Elliot to peal his eyes from her phone so she could explain further ass he knew this would make him confused.
“But she’s always fuck acts like-” “That’s just her being scared of a relationship.” Jules cut in and now Elliot didn’t stare at the phone but looked up at her, expecting to hear more.
“You know how her family is just fucking dysfunctional?” Elliot nodded his head. “Yeah, well, her parents have never really been in love and it’s just this stupid and toxic relationship. Her brother and his fiance always had this relationship where he would always control her, and then they’d have a big argument, often it ends with her sister-in-law to be getting hurt.”
“You see where I’m coming from thick head?” Jules pocked his head and climbed down from the windowsill as she just got a text from y/n saying one thing. 'Soon there’
“I, uh, didn’t know,”
“Don’t take it personal, she let it slip to me and Rue while drunk as fuck.” Jules now stood beside his bed. “Also I think you should get ready, she’s here any-” And then the doorbell rang. “And she’s here.”
With that Jules left his room, leaving a stunned Elliot in his room as he just sat on his bed. But the soon came to realize y/n was there and quickly moved to get his guitar and start playing all while Jules opened for y/n.
The footsteps that became louder the closer they came to his room made Elliot let out a breath and preparing for the two girls to enter. Now he had to okay it cool while knowing y/n liked him? How would that work?
“Hey Elly!” y/n’s cheery voice called as she walked inside his room, holding hand with Jules who simply grinned at Elliots rather red cheeks.
“Oh shi- hey.” He stumbled over his words, smiling as she walked over and fell down on his bed. Just as she were about to say something Jules let out a 'oh’, making Elliot and y/n look at her.
“My dad wants me home,” Jules sighed, acting as if it was true. “I guess I’ll have to get going.”
“What? I just got here, why dose he want you home?” y/n asked as she knew how laid-back Jules dad actually was.
“I don’t know, the text just said 'Home now’.” The blond picked up her bag that she’d thrown onto Elliots floor just erlier and sighed. “I’ll see you two tomorrow,”
“Okey, love you,” y/n smiled slightly sad that Jules 'needed’ to go.
“Uh yeah bye,” Elliot said as Jules simply smiled, then nodding her head towards y/n who laid and stared up at the ceiling before walking out and closing his door
He plucked randomly at the strings, playing almost the same tune as erlier before then picking up on one he knew the girl laying beside him liked. She had her eyes closed and soon her lips was graced with a small smile. A deep feeling of relaxation taking over her body, sinking into Elliot’s soft bed.
“Uh, y/n?” Elliot asked hesitantly as the girl hummed at him and opend one eye. Making eye contact.
“What’s up?”
But no words left his mouth as Elliot turned his head, averting his eyes from her too, looking around at the floor in front of him. There was no right way to do this, he knew her reaction could be many diffrent kinds, but at the same time Elliot knew that y/n wouldn’t be mad about it.
“Why do you, like, always pull away whenever we get close?” It was the fist thing he could think of to ask her. y/n sat up, legs over the edge of his bed but feel not touching the ground.
“What? She almost choked at the air. "The hell ate you on about?”
Elliot were quick standing up and letting out a frustrated puff of air as he didn’t know how to go on about this. When he turned towards y/n, she just looked at him with raised brows. A stab of pain shooting through her heart as she heard her younger self tell how bad of a idea this was.
“Everytime we get close, physically, you fucking pull away from me.” The look he gave her was almost one of a half shattered heart, his eyes showing a bit of sadness.
“I just-” Her eyes gor stuck on the floor in front of her as she didn’t finish the sentence, her hands shaking a little with fear of telling him and also for how scary love was in her eyes.
“Look,” His voice softer than ever as he slowly moved to stand in front of her, he slowly kneeled down in front of her. His hand reaching for hers but it jolted away, only for Elliot to reach oit and grab it gently.
She didn’t meet his gaze, eyes looking osst him no matter how much he tried to move his head and get in her view. As if she were made of glass, about to shatter any second, Elliot carefully reached out and put a hand under her chin, gently turning so hee head and eyes were in him. As she held his gaze she wanted to shrink into herself, she failed the one thing she promised younger her.
“I know how you feel about shut like this, Jules told me,” y/n swallowed as he spoke. “But I want you to know one thing, I fucking love you, okey?”
“Wha?..”
“I love you, and don’t look at me like you don’t believe me 'cause I’ve never been more honest in my fucking life.” He reassures her, hands coming up to hold her face.
“I.. I don’t know how this is supposed to feel,” This made Elliot’s rub his thumbs along her cheekbones, just gazing at her, he felt her lean in ever so slightly to one of his hands. Funding the action enjoyable.
His eyes flickered down on her lips and then back up at her eyes. He smiled a little, one taht was sweet am gentle, saved for her only. “Just tell me how his feels,”
With that, he leaned up, pressing his lips gently on hers startling y/n slightly. She was stiff for a few seconds but her eyes them fell shut, melting into the kiss. It was soft and slowly Elliot depending it slightly, one of his hands caressing y/n jaw gently. The other on the side of her neck. It was even better than doing drugs when kissing her, Elliot knew she would always be the strongest and most powerful drug of them all for him.
When he pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers, y/n keept her eyes closed as Elliot looked at her. Being so up close with her making usi stomach fill with some happiness.
“Was that okey?” He softly asked her leaning in so their noses touched, foreheads also still connected. She didn’t answer but he could feel her nod against him, Elliot let out a sigh of relief.
“I’m gonna kill Jules,” y/n mumbled and Elliot smiled.
“I think what she did was worth it,” And with taht he leaned in once more, their lips meting for a second time.
