Mistaking bad behaviour, or negative behaviour as love. We all know abuse and mistreatment is not love. But we neglect the start of this bad behaviour, and we allow this at the beginning of relationships. Case in point: I was talking to my friend earlier about a dude who might have a crush on our mutual friend. She tells me he ignores her and gives her the cold shoulder, which is a sign dudes give off whenever they have a crush on you. I ask her why she thinks that way. She just tells me that’s the way it is. I asked her again. She said because it’s common. I told her, no. Ignoring someone doesn’t mean they love you. She smiles, and let it go. Maybe it’s a bad example because it’s not ‘as bad as’ abuse. But my point still stands.
The idea that a guy being 'forceful’ with you without your consent is romantic. In dramas or anime online, the producers often portray guys blocking you in the corridor, or slamming you against a wall as romantic. No. Unless it was done with your consent, push him off. If he’s a friend, tell him not to do it again. If he’s a stranger, kneed him in the groin area and run away.
Don’t date someone (I’m referring mostly to men because of the title of the post, but this applies to other gendered partners) who you aren’t comfortable with. A romantic partner is essentially a best friend whom you’ll share your life with. If you aren’t comfortable with showing your true self in front of your partner then honestly, I’d say don’t bother. Especially if they don’t defend you against bad situations (if you’re in the right).
Your partner isn’t the most important thing about you, or in your life. Yes, they are important. But don’t sacrifice things that are important to you because of them. Your career, your family, your pet. Everything. Things that are important to you shouldn’t be pushed aside because of your partner’s demand. And never, never, lose sight of yourself.
Enduring when you could say 'no’. Set your boundaries when you could. Don’t let anyone compromise your privacy, your time, or you, when you could refuse. it’s difficult because we’ve learnt to be compromising since a young age. But set your boundaries whenever you could. Put down a firm line if you could. In a situation where you could, it’s better to face someone’s temporary disappointment than suffering for a longer time.
Throwback Post Pick is a weekly feature where I fling open the vaults of past works – no matter the naivete they reflect – and revel in the making of progress! So come, TBT with me!
This week’s “piece” of good news is Silver Spoon Consumed. A piece who’s style – at least to me – reflects that classic type of social commentary that brings to mind black turtle-necks, small round frames, plenty of…
