1.9.22.SUN

This will be a bit personal, but towards the end of last semester I struggled with some depression that began to make it feel really hard to complete basic tasks like showering and getting dressed.

I would just go to class and study, then go to bed often earlier than 7 pm.

I’ve started journaling and working with a therapist, but I also decided a habit tracker might help me stay accountable for my basic upkeep when I’m struggling.

So here it is, I know it’s a bit silly but it’s 2022 and this year I’m promising to take care of myself better ❤️

I miss being a kid

When I was a young child, I told myself I wanted to live up to 100 years old— that was my goal. I wanted to live a long life. I was absolutely terrified of dying.

Ten years later and I’m begging the universe to kill me. I’m praying to God— if there even is one— that this will all end.

Honestly, I didn’t even expect to make it this far. I never thought I’d be able to see myself turn eighteen. I graduate high school in a month. I should be happy but I’m not. I feel so lost. I wasn’t planning on being alive for this long. I don’t know what to do, what steps to take, which direction to go— I’m lost.

Is anything even worth it? Should I keep on pushing? Should I go to college? Should I continue working?

Or will it all be a waste of time? “I won’t be alive in the next ten years so I guess nothing really matters.” I find myself often repeating that line.

That’s the thing about life though. You never know what the future will hold. Maybe I will be dead in the near by future. Or maybe I’ll be alive and finally happy.

The only thing I can do now is focus on the present. Let’s just hope I have enough strength to even do that…

This is a poem I wrote a few months ago for my creative writing class. I’m working on my mental health and I’m trying to better it. It’s hard though.

Anyways tell me what you guys think :/

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LONE

Inspired by the song, Snow by XXXTentacion

The world is in black and white

My own brain is against me in a fight

I think too much and it ruins me

I’m looking for any chance to flee

What’s the point in living if you’re already dead

I couldn’t wait to grow up but now I feel so misled

I’m scared to face the problem so I run away

Weight on my shoulders while my heart decays

The only friend I have is the reaper himself

My life is deteriorating along with my mental health

The thought of happiness scares me, beyond and above

I use people with the intention of feeling loved

It never works, I end it, I tell them they did nothing wrong

I feel so sorry that I stringed them along

They become hurt and angry, I know it’s my fault

I always make sure that I’m locked in a vault

I surround myself with strong walls

Walking through life while I stumble and fall

I will always be alone and that will never change

For I am a lone wolf, venturing the cold mountain range.

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Who uses Twitch? I want to do a stream about mental health and self-harm. Would any of you be interested in watching that stream?

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Please add some good things in the tags.

International List of Suicide Hotlines

Hey y’all.

It’s been a minute.

I’ve been struggling with my mental health and with things in my personal life. But I am back.

relax-music-with-gloria:

Music is powerful. Research shows that music can alter a person’s mood and behaviour, as well as their physical body.

The Benefits Of Meditation Music

Physical health benefits of meditation

• Meditation literally grows your brain
• Meditation increases blood flow to your brain
• Meditation reduces cortisol production,
• Meditation reduces blood pressure and heart rate
• Meditation increases neuroplasticity.
• Meditation increases the production of good neurotransmitters including serotonin and dopamine.
• Meditation triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which enables us to rest and recover from stress.
• Meditation causes muscle relaxation. 
• Meditation slows the ageing process. 

Physical health benefits of meditation

• Meditation reduces stress related conditions such as anxiety and depression.
• Meditation increases stress resilience.
  
• Meditation increases positive emotions
  
• Meditation increases focus and present moment awareness. When we meditate, we stimulate the pre-frontal cortex. 
  
• Meditation increases emotional stability and intelligence.
  
• Meditation increases your capacity to learn.
  
• Meditation increases empathy and compassion.
  
• Meditation increases a sense of connection to your self and others.
  
• Meditation increases your sense of purpose and meaning. 
  
• Meditation improves sociability. 
  

My suggestions for Morning meditation

Morning Meditation

Relaxation music 

The best Piano music

Relaxing Music, calm piano music

Morning Meditation and Relaxation classical music 

Morning meditation playlist

Music is powerful. Research shows that music can alter a person’s mood and behaviour, as well as their physical body.

The Benefits Of Meditation Music

Physical health benefits of meditation

• Meditation literally grows your brain
• Meditation increases blood flow to your brain
• Meditation reduces cortisol production,
• Meditation reduces blood pressure and heart rate
• Meditation increases neuroplasticity.
• Meditation increases the production of good neurotransmitters including serotonin and dopamine.
• Meditation triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which enables us to rest and recover from stress.
• Meditation causes muscle relaxation. 
• Meditation slows the ageing process. 

Physical health benefits of meditation

• Meditation reduces stress related conditions such as anxiety and depression.
• Meditation increases stress resilience.
  
• Meditation increases positive emotions
  
• Meditation increases focus and present moment awareness. When we meditate, we stimulate the pre-frontal cortex. 
  
• Meditation increases emotional stability and intelligence.
  
• Meditation increases your capacity to learn.
  
• Meditation increases empathy and compassion.
  
• Meditation increases a sense of connection to your self and others.
  
• Meditation increases your sense of purpose and meaning. 
  
• Meditation improves sociability. 
  

My suggestions for Morning meditation

Morning Meditation

Relaxation music 

The best Piano music

Relaxing Music, calm piano music

Morning Meditation and Relaxation classical music 

Morning meditation playlist

juansendizon:

“have patience. it is also a way of being accepting of yourself.”

— Juansen Dizon

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Remove the negative connotation from the concept of failing

asking-jude:

“It’s okay to cry over something you thought you were healed from.”

— Lauren Marana 

♡ Need support?

smiles-advice:

my joy doesn’t have to look like yours

♡︎ ♡︎

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When Lorde said, “I thought I was a genius, but now I’m twenty-two.” and when Lorde said, “I’m tryna get well from the inside.” and when she said, “We had no idea the dreams we had were far too big.” and when she said, “‘Cause we are all broken and sad.”

Gotta Practice what I Preach to my Clients

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I always feel guilty that I dont reach out to past friends… but then I realize it’s a two way street, I’m not solely responsible to keep a relationship alive.

Source:thefemalwarhol

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Use those supports

Source:howdoyouadult