#steve rogers

Steve: Sharon is my world

Peggy, Bucky, Natasha, Tony, Sam: how many worlds do you need are you building a solar system or something

Natasha: Accept your flaws, you’ll feel better. That’s what I did.

Steve: You’ve accepted your flaws?

Natasha: No. I accepted yours.

Steve : Look, the doctor said ‘internal bleeding’, and that’s where my blood is supposed to be. It’s fine.

Sam : That’s not how it works

Nat and Bucky, exasperated: Just let him die already

Steve, jolting awake at 3am: BUCKY WHAT THE HELL

Bucky :What?

Steve: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

Bucky : SO ONLY ROOSTERS ARE ALLOWED TO WAKE YOU UP SCREAMING NOW HUH?

Steve :YES.

Bucky : too bad.

Bucky : *continues screaming*

Bucky : if I die, donate my whole body to science

Bucky : except for my middle fingers

Bucky: give them to Sam

Sam : fuck you too

Steve :… I’m more concerned about the fact that Bucky just said ‘if’ and not 'when’

incorrectlymcu:

Nat: If Red Skull joined the Fire Department, what would he say every time he fights a blaze?

Steve:

Bucky:

Nat: Hail Hydrant

Nat:

Nat: come back, it’s funny

Nat: If Red Skull joined the Fire Department, what would he say every time he fights a blaze?

Steve:

Bucky:

Nat: Hail Hydrant

Nat:

Nat: come back, it’s funny

Peter: Hey, I’m going to get coffee. You guys want anything?

Natasha: Black coffee.

Tony: Double of Nat’s.

Steve: I’m fine.

Peter: Are you sure you don’t want anything, Captain Rogers?

Peter: Like, maybe an iced Americano?

Steve:

Steve: You know what, Parker?

The final battle against Thanos left you broken and numb. You find comfort in Steve’s arms. 

Warnings: mentions of violence and death, kind of angsty

Word Count: 4.1 k

A/N: This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written, ever, so I just hope it doesn’t suck lol.

The sky was a deep purple, and grey clouds loomed, so big they never seemed to end. The ground looked alien, barren and bare.

Dead, you thought. This was what a dead earth would look like.

And yet, you had never felt so alive.

You were running, fighting off Thanos’ alien army with your sword. The strange creatures ambushed you, barrelled towards you with foaming mouths and bloodshot eyes, yet you fought them off with ease. You didn’t even need to think, years of training had turned you into a skilled warrior. Fighting came as easy to you as breathing.

And besides, you had just been dead for five years. Your body was screaming, begging to be moved again, to feel the pure adrenaline of battle. As you lunged and swung your sword, you were aware of the thrum of your accelerated heart, and the power that coursed through your blood.

Finally, you thought. I’m back.

When you had first woken up in Wakanda, you had been confused. Your body ached and your mouth was dry. The last thing you had remembered was Thanos snapping his fingers, Thor’s axe still lodged in his chest, and then you were falling to the ground and everything went dark.

Yet, here you were now, warm ground beneath your fingers.

You weren’t alone. Around you, you saw Sam, Bucky, Wanda and others, all just as confused as you. Huddled together, you spoke.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does anybody remember anything… after the snap, I mean?”

“No. Just… darkness.”

“Why are we here? Where’s everybody else?”

“Steve, he was right in front of me, I remember. He should be here…”

It went on like this, a hurry of confused voices and answerless questions, for a while. You were uncomfortable and unsure of what to do. Your closest teammates, Nat, Steve, even Thor… they seemed to have just disappeared.

And then, a ring of electric gold appeared out of nowhere, and out stepped a stranger. A man with dark hair and a sharp beard, wearing a red cape.

“Are you… the Avengers?” he asked, looking each of you in the eye.

Wanda hesitated, Bucky looked at the ground. Even T’Challa seemed unsure of what to say.

The man had an unmistakable air of arrogance, and yet, he seemed trustworthy. Even familiar. He stood there, waiting for an answer, until finally you stood up, flicked your hair back and wiped your uniform off.

“Yes,” you said. “We are.”

A smile lit up the man’s face. “I was hoping you’d say that. Well, hurry up, all of you. We have a battle to win.”

And now, here you were, surrounded by more heroes than you had ever thought possible. People and beings from all the corners of the universe, hundreds of them, all fighting alongside you against the mad titan. You still weren’t quite sure what had happened, if you were being honest. Nobody had really taken the time to explain. All you knew was that the fight against Thanos wasn’t over yet.

You plunged your sword into an alien’s shoulder and it’s hot blood splattered your face. The smell and taste of metal overwhelmed you. Next to you, two members of the Dora Milajae twirled and stabbed at the creatures with their spears. A pegasus carrying a warrior woman flew overhead. Sounds of gunfire filled the air, and you knew that Bucky would undoubtedly be responsible.

Perhaps Nat is shooting as well, you thought with a smile.

You were yet to spot your best-friend, but you couldn’t wait to find her after the battle. To hug her and talk for hours. And, of course, there was a lot you needed to talk about.

But first, you needed to win.

THREE DAYS LATER

Agony. One word. One word to sum up everything you had been feeling for the last few days.

The final battle had seen you victorious, but it hadn’t been without a price. Hundreds had lost their lives.

And, of course, there was Tony.

Tony, who had sacrificed himself for the rest of the world.

It wasn’t right. It certainly wasn’t fair. If the universe demanded a sacrifice, you were more than happy to volunteer. You didn’t have a family, you didn’t have thousands who looked up to you and loved you. Tony did.

After he died, it seemed like the last strings that were holding up the universe collapsed. Everything was chaos.

Some people were screaming, crying over Tony or others they had lost in battle, or both. Other people were confused, desperately seeking answers to what had happened and how long they had been gone for.

As it turned out, returning half of all life on Earth was even more chaotic than eliminating it.

You just wanted to see your team. You felt like you were floating, untethered, and the only thing that could bring you back down was seeing and talking to your closest friends.

Suddenly, somebody was touching you. You looked up, up into familiar sea-blue eyes. Steve.

“Y/N,” he breathed, enveloping you into a hug. “God, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you. How much we’ve missed you.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Silent tears fell down your face, forging paths amongst the dirt that had settled on your cheeks.

“Steve…” You whispered, clutching onto his shoulders. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s happened or… or where I’ve been and now, T-tony… he’s dead and-”

Steve met your eyes, and you saw that he was crying, too.

Something wasn’t right. You could feel it.

All of the team was here, all around Tony, all except one.

“Steve, where’s Nat?” You whispered.

He didn’t answer. Worry settled deep within your stomach. You felt sick.

“Please, Steve…” You looked up at him, a fresh wave of hot tears burning at your eyes. “Please don’t tell me she’s gone.”

But he couldn’t meet your eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N…” He choked out.

But you already knew. Of course you knew.

After that, everything was a blur. Someone grabbed your hand. You were led into a car, driven somewhere you didn’t know. You blinked and suddenly you were in a strange room, one that smelled of wildflowers and cinnamon. There was a bed and the sheets were clean and you were dirty, so incredibly dirty, but you didn’t care. You collapsed and screamed, screamed until there was no more air left in your lungs and your throat was red raw.

You stayed like that for the next two days, lying on top of the bed, the pillow soaked with tears. People would knock on the door, call out to you, tell you to come down for food… but you didn’t answer. While it was still day, you would stare at the walls and try not to think about anything. It wasn’t until the sun went down and your room went dark that you would let the thoughts wash over you and the tears fall freely.

Tony. The smartest guy you had ever met. The man who had offered you a home, who had accepted you immediately as part of the team, despite your past. The man who would give you big bear hugs and never said anything bad about you, ever.

You cried for him.

But Nat, you didn’t just cry for Nat… you sobbed until it felt like you couldn’t breathe. Natasha. The woman who could bring down a man with nothing but her hands. The woman who never knew her family. And yet… she had the biggest heart of anyone you knew. You remembered the nights you would spend together, just the two of you, sitting on her bed and talking for hours about stupid things. You remembered her laugh and the dirty jokes she’d whisper into your ear during meetings, and the nights you spent choosing each other’s outfits for Tony’s parties. She was your best friend in the entire world, the only person you felt comfortable telling anything too… and she was dead.

On the third day, when you awoke to sunlight pouring in from the window, you decided to get up. Your mind and body desperately wanted you to stay in bed, but you knew you couldn’t.

You are strong, you told yourself. You’re an Avenger, remember? You’ve done far harder things than get out of bed.

Your anger and denial had finally subsided. Now, you were just numb.

You stripped yourself of your uniform and stepped into the warm water of the shower. Dirt and dried blood ran off your body in streams. You lathered yourself in body wash, ran hands coated in shampoo through your hair. By the time you stepped out, you smelt like raspberries and vanilla.

God, you were hungry.

It was then that you remembered you had no idea where you were.

Would it be rude if you snuck out and raided the kitchen of whosever house this was?

Sudden knocking stopped your train of thought.

You hurriedly wrapped yourself in a robe, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

The man in front of you was not the Thor you remembered.

His hair was long and matted, and he had a beard, one that nearly reached his chest. And his previous muscular figure, one he had taken so much pride in, was now softened by fat. His stomach threatened to peek out from underneath his shirt.

Grief, you realised, had affected everybody differently.

“Y/N,” he exclaimed, surprised, “I didn’t think you’d answer. Steve has been trying to get you out of there for ages. Did you not hear him knocking?”

You weren’t sure how to answer, what excuse to give for locking yourself away. Instead, you just hugged him. Surprised, he wrapped his big arms around you.

“Well,” he chuckled, “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Sorry. I just realised I haven’t seen you in ages. And I… I missed you.”

Thor smiled. “I missed you too, Y/N.”

You were at Tony’s house. After the snap, he and Pepper had moved into a small cabin, away from the city. They had gotten married in secret, exchanged vows in front of the lake with nothing but the fireflies as witness. And then, Pepper had given birth to a baby girl.

Steve explained all of this to you. You sat next to him on the leather sofa in the lounge room, wrapped in a blanket. He had been ecstatic when he saw you, fresh and clean and out of your room. He had even offered to cook you breakfast. You picked at it now, french toast with syrup and berries, as he told you about everything you had missed over the last five years. He told you about the chaos after the snap, the aeroplanes that had fallen out of the sky, the people who had disappeared from thin air.

Then, about how they had killed Thanos for revenge.

But it wasn’t enough, he said. Killing him didn’t bring back everyone who was gone.

And so, he told you about time travel. About how Tony had figured out how to do it, and how they had each gone to different corners of the universe in search of the Infinity Stones. He told you about Nat, and how she had been the only thing keeping the Avengers together after the snap. He explained how she had chosen to sacrifice herself on Vormir for the soul stone.

Without her, he said, none of this could’ve happened. She was the real hero.

You didn’t have to say anything. He already knew you agreed.

You spent the rest of the day helping around the house. Unbeknownst to you, everyone had been staying at the cabin for the funeral, which was tomorrow. However, nobody else had been afforded the luxury of a bed to themselves like you had. Steve and Bucky were sharing the only guest room. Wanda was sleeping on a mattress in Pepper’s room. Bruce, in his now permanent Hulk state (you were still yet to get used to that), was left to sleep on the couch. And there were still more people outside, sleeping in tents. You felt like a proper bitch for taking a room up all to yourself. The fact that these people had probably heard you screaming and crying for the last two nights straight made you blush and drop your head in shame. Here was Pepper, who had lost the love of her life and father of her child, and yet she still found the strength to keep it together and host a group of superheroes. You wanted to make it up to her, which was why you were currently sweeping the floor and keeping a careful eye on the legs of meat roasting in the oven.

“Rest.” You had told her after you finished breakfast. “I’ll care of everything today.”

And Pepper had squeezed your hands and smiled, her eyes shiny with tears. A silent thank you.

The next day was the funeral. There were so many people, people who had loved and cared about Tony, all watching as his body was put to rest. As you stood next to Steve and watched the sunlight glint off the lake, you couldn’t shake the feeling of being broken and out of place. The black dress Pepper had let you borrow hung awkwardly on your body.

Just another reminder of how wrong this whole situation was.

Suddenly, Morgan, Tony’s daughter, began crying. Heartbreaking sobs that shook her tiny body. That was too much for you. You had to turn away.

Afterwards, people returned back to their lives. Everyone who had a home and a family went back to them. Thor went off with the Guardians. Going on an adventure across the universe was just what he needed, he told you as you said your goodbyes.

That left you, Steve, Bruce and Wanda. You had all lived in the Avengers compound, but that was destroyed. Where were you to go now?

Of course, Pepper said you were all welcome to stay longer. But you all knew she needed time to mourn alone with her daughter, without the Hulk sleeping on her couch. You kindly turned her down. She looked relieved.

Behind you, T’Challa cleared his throat.

“Wakanda has more than enough room for a group of heroes. You will all fly over with me. We can accommodate you for as long as you need.”

And so, it was settled.

The days in Wakanda were long and warm. You would busy yourself by helping out in the kitchens, or visiting Shuri in her lab. Sometimes you would just climb a tree and watch farmer children chase each other around the fields. Your arms became tanned, your hair got lighter. You relished in being at peace. The days were good.

But at night, dark thoughts still found their way to you.

You would have nightmares, visions of Nat being thrown off cliffs or ripped apart by alien creatures. One night you dreamt of you two painting each other’s nails like you used to. But when she opened her mouth to speak, thick, dark blood spilt out. You would wake up screaming, tears streaming down your cheeks and nails digging into your palms.

It was killing you, slowly.

Steve began to notice.

He noticed how you didn’t meet his eyes when he spoke to you. How your nose no longer crinkled up when you smiled, how your laugh was no longer as loud or long as it used to be.

He began to ask you if you were alright. It killed you to lie to him, but you had never been good at talking about your feelings. And you didn’t want to burden Steve with any of it. He had finally begun to look happy. Wakanda suited him. He spent most of his time talking with Bucky, and you could tell how much he had missed him. He didn’t deserve to have to worry about you.

And so, you didn’t tell him.

But one night, he found out anyway.

It was another nightmare. This one was particularly violent. The last thing you remember was Nat’s deep red curls, and then a splatter of blood, and then you were up and screaming. Screaming at the top of your voice for someone, anyone to help you.

Somehow, Steve heard you. He ran into your room so fast the door nearly fell off its hinges.

“Y/N,” he yelled, grabbing you by the shoulders, “what’s happening? Are you alright?”

You were still in shock, your mind couldn’t form the words to express what you were feeling. So you sat there, crying hysterically, as Steve wrapped you in his arms. You could feel how soft his cotton shirt was against your skin. And he was warm, so warm. Slowly, you began to calm down.

“It’s okay, I was just having a nightmare-”

“No,” Steve cut you off, “Nightmare or not, you are not okay. Do you think I haven’t noticed?”

“I-I’ve just…” You began, but honestly, you had no idea what to say. He was right, you weren’t okay. You hadn’t been okay for a long time.

“Y/N, I want to tell you something. You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to listen, okay?”

You nodded, glad to have an excuse not to speak. Steve wrapped an arm around your shoulder and drew you in closer to him.

“Those five years, after the snap… they were hell. Everybody was miserable. People would just break down, in the middle of the streets, crying…”

Tears started to build in Steve’s eyes. You reached up a hesitant hand and wiped them away. He didn’t seem to mind.

“The Avengers… I don’t even know if you’d call us that. It was just me, Nat and Rhodey at that point. Bruce was always hidden away in his lab. Us three, we tried to help out as much as we could. But we just felt so, useless. Like we had failed. Because we had.”

“Steve, don’t say that…”

“Shh,” he whispered, bringing a finger to your lips, “You said you’d listen, remember?”

A tiny smile played at your lips. You nodded and let him continue.

“Anyway, we all felt like we’d failed. I remember one night, everyone was feeling particularly bad. Nat and I decided to open up one of the wine bottles from Tony’s cellar. We took turns sipping from it. I couldn’t get drunk, but she definitely was.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Where was this going?

“We began talking about the snap and about how screwed up everything was. Then, she began talking about you. About how much she missed you. And she was crying. I’ve never seen Nat cry.”

You could feel the tears start brimming at your eyes.

“And then she asks me, what did I miss most? Who would I bring back, if I could bring back anybody? And do you know who I said?”

“Bucky?” You guessed, looking up at Steve.

“No.” He replied. “Y/N, it was you.”

You couldn’t stop the gasp from leaving your lips. You and Steve had always been close, but you had never thought you meant this much to him. As he opened his mouth to continue speaking, a stream of tears escaped from his eyes.

“And I meant it, Y/N. I missed you so much. God, it was killing me. Tony was gone, Sam was gone, Buck was gone… but all I wanted, out of everything in the world, was to hear your laugh again. I would’ve given anything to see you perched on the kitchen counter, drinking coffee in your pyjamas like you always would. Or even just to hear your music blasting from your room again.”

Now both of you were crying. You wrapped your arms around Steve’s body, buried your face into his chest. Your tears were soaking his shirt but you didn’t care.

“Y/N, I’m telling you all this because I want you to know, that on that night, me and Nat both sat on the cold tiles of the kitchen floor, and we cried and we talked about how much we missed you. You, nobody else. I know how close you were with her. I know that I can’t even begin to understand how much pain you’re going through right now… But I want you to know that I miss her too. And you’re not alone. You don’t have to be alone.”

Your face was wet, your cheeks slick with tears. “Steve I-”

“Wait,” he interrupted, brushing your hair behind your ear, “There’s just one more thing.”

“Okay.”

“When I went back in time, back to 2012 to get the stone… I saw you. It was your past self, obviously, but it was still you. You were standing with the rest of the team, threatening Loki with your sword, and you had your hair how you used to wear it, remember?”

You gave a small laugh.

“God, Y/N, you have no idea how much I just wanted to reach out and touch you. To run my hands through your hair and feel you in my arms again. You were right there. And that’s when I realised. I realised something, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.”

You inhaled sharply. Steve looked down at your face. You looked into his sea-blue eyes and noticed how his long lashes were still damp from tears.

“Y/N,” he whispered, “I love you.”

Your world came apart again. But it was different, different to when you found out Nat was dead. Because this time, it felt good. Everything felt so, gloriously good.

Of course, you thought. This is right. This is how it’s supposed to be.

Steve. America’s golden boy. The man who made you laugh no matter how grumpy you were, who would wake up at 6am just to make you breakfast. The man who would sketch you as you watched movies, who was able to replicate the most intricate details of your face perfectly on paper.

He loved you.

“Steve,” you whispered back, not looking away from his eyes, “I love you, too.”

You loved him. Of course.

It wasn’t just easy all of a sudden. A switch didn’t go off in your brain, your nightmares didn’t automatically stop. But, with Steve, things were more… bearable. On the nights when it got really bad, you would wake him up, and you two would both talk about her, about your favourite memories. His story about them being undercover and having to kiss always made you laugh. Which is why he loved telling it.

Some nights, you would even talk about Tony.

The warm days in Wakanda stretched into weeks and months. You made a sort of makeshift home in the African country. Sometimes, you were invited to speak at one of the schools, and then you would tell the kids about the Avengers. About the God of Thunder, who was the prince of a palace amongst the stars and held the power of lightning within his fingertips. About Hawkeye, a man who could hit any target, no matter how small, and who loved his family more than anything. About Captain America, the man who fought off Nazi’s and won, who believed in justice and equality and who never ran away from a fight, no matter how much the odds were stacked against him. About the Hulk, a green, gigantic monster who looked scary but was really the smartest, kindest man in the world. About Iron Man, the genius who could build something from anything, and who gave his life for the rest of the world. And, finally, you would tell them about the Black Widow. The best spy in the world, a girl who could kick ass and look good doing it. A girl who was raised to be a villain and who became a hero anyway. Your best friend.

The Avengers weren’t gone forever. There were new heroes ready to take on the name. Captain Marvel, Spider-Man, Dr Strange (you had finally learnt what that strange man’s name was). But for you, and for the rest of the original Avengers, your days of kicking ass and saving the world were over. But it was okay, because you had Steve, and you were going to start a new life together, one where you could sleep in each morning and didn’t have to worry about becoming a war criminal overnight. For the first time in both of your lives, you could be at peace.

And, like the kids you taught in Wakanda, the rest of the world was always going to remember you.