#sugar advice

This is what happens when you stop paying when you go on a date

I saw this post on TikTok about a guy commented that a guy should always pay for the first date but a girl should expect to pay half…. And then I saw a comment “I’ll happily pay for the whole bill or half! It’s called respect”

I’m sorry, what? I felt so sorry for this girl because someone conditioned her that she, as a woman, should have to provide like a man should. HELL NO. It’s not called respect, it’s called a guy can play you because he doesn’t have to invest in you.

Honey, level up. I get spoiled by my new sponsor with a big allowance and gifts like this.

Update: September 23rd, 2019

>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<

Hey guys!

Happy Begining of Fall!

I’ve been meaning to make this post for a minute now, but I’ve been running around and staying busy these last few weeks- between my college courses, working, and back to back travels I’ve had little time to take a deep breath and relax.

But I’m in Hawaii this week, and I couldn’t be more excited for the opportunity to enjoy some quiet time and sun. (And hella weed went on a run first thing when we landed, and literally ran into my new plug for the week. ) “Cal” one of my SDs of 2.5 years decided it was time to escape out to his beach house in East Honolulu for the week instead of spending our usual time in California. I live on the other side of the country, so my arrangement with Cal is that as long as he continues to provide a monthly allowance, I visit him for a week once every other month. While I adore my visits out to California; I’m happy to spend time anywhere out of my home state even just for a little bit!

Anyway! A couple posts ago I mentioned that I was stuck at the airport on my way to meet my POT/SD “Jay”- I eventually made it down safely to Kentucky, and was there for three days a couple weeks ago. Officially moving his status from potential, to sugar daddy.

It was actually a really fun several days spent down there; but as Jay expressed more about the type of arrangement he was ideally seeking, I had to keep it real with him and explain my schedule isn’t exactly as open as he’d like. He was insisting that we shoot for me flying down to KY once a month, and he would provide financial compensation at that time. (I still always prefer a SD who hands out $$ regardless of time spent, but I think I can get him there. Already convinced him to send money a couple times for shopping and a massage appointment.) But as a full time student with a job, and a life for that matter, I can’t commit to anything out of state monthly. He was bummed about this, but understood.

Ultimately we agreed that playing things by ear was the best thing to do for now! We would find time for me to travel to him based upon availability as it happens, and if Jay had the time and desire- he could even pop over to see me, as he does business in a city often that’s only a couple hours from my current home.

Jay sent a lovely arrangement of flowers when I returned home from my visit with him, including some beautiful purple and pinks- my favorite colors. I love his thoughtfulness and genuinely kind personality. It’s a rarity these days to meet someone as charismatic and humorous as he. Happy I had the time to go back and see him after our first initial meeting in May! If only he didn’t repeat the same stories from his youth over and over

>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<

I met both Cal and Jay on seeking arrangement. Which I know gets a lot of shit on here from many sugar babies frustrated with the experience- and I completely understand where you ladies are coming from. Often times logging on to SA means combing through many ignorant messages filled with inappropriate comments and private picture requests. It’s annoying and down right disappointing sometimes! But with patience and some finesse, there is still some hope on SA to find a real genuine SD, who will offer you much more than “drinks and $300 to meet up tonight”. ‍♀️

Seeking Arrangement tips/reminders:

1.)Make sure your profile is in its best condition.

- Do you have enough content on your profile? Not suprisingly, adding just a bit more information than the typical SB page shows that you’re serious, and genuine about the process. Doing so also helps make your profile stand out from a sea of other potential girls! Adding a bit more “fun” causal information about yourself- like mentioning a hobby, or maybe what you’re studying in school gives your page more personality and detail. This is the POT/SDs first impression of you, make it count!

- Many SBs fall into the trap of only mentioning what THEY are going to receive out of the deal on their profile, which can be a turn off for POT/SDs who can smell desperation and money grubbing a mile away. Add the phrase “mutually beneficial” somewhere in your profile, or a comparable equivalent, it puts the thought in a SDs mind that you are aware that they too will also be receiving something out of the arrangement. It’s a given that these men are going to help you financially, they’re supposed to be a SD after all, so take the time to mention things you can provide for them as well! Include more specifics to outweigh just the financial assistance aspect- like mentioning your favorite types of dates, or adventures you’re looking forward to pursuing with them. Someone who writes about how they like to try out new bars in the city, or touring art museums, will be immensely more appealing than someone who touches on how they’re a broke student in need of cash quick. - If you are willing to travel out of state to meet up with a POT/SD, make sure you say so on your profile! This casts a bigger net for potentials who don’t happen to be in your immediate area but are still interested in meeting.

2.) Be willing to send the first message.

- Waiting to receive a message from POTs can be time consuming and unpredictable. There’s nothing wrong with being the first one to reach out with a cute introductory message expressing interest in their profile, and inviting them to check yours out. Favoriting a member’s profile shows a little extra interest as well!

- When looking through profiles, add filters to your searches to find more serious candidates. Selecting things such as “Diamond members”, background check, and premium weeds out profiles that are poorly thrown together and run by in-genuine salt daddy’s.

- Be aware of the age displayed on the POTs profile. He’s in his twenties? Very seldom someone this young has the financial means to be a genuine sugar daddy. Honestly 35+ is a more reliable age group.

- “Hi” doesn’t quite catch the eye, especially in an inbox filled with messages from other people who might have taken the time to craft a real sentence. Put some thought into what you’re saying as to showcase yourself in the best way possible. Compliment their profile if they have a nice detailed bio filled out, or set of pictures uploaded- flattery goes a long way with the male mind.

- If you are comfortable with pursuing arrangements with out of state POTs, adjust the location settings in your search. Highlight cities you’d like to travel to, or would feel comfortable traveling to when it comes to meeting up with POT/SDs, doing so will expand your list of potentials!

3.) Make sure the photos on your profile are the best.

- Including clear photos of both your face and body will increase the chances of a POT expressing interest in you. Naturally, these are men we are dealing with, so the physical appearance is undoubtedly an important aspect for them.

- Low quality, or Snapchat filter filled photos should be avoided. You can do better then this if you take the time! And you should. Whether that means dedicating an entire afternoon of selfie taking, putting in the effort pays off when a POT comes across your profile and is simply compelled to reach out after viewing your high quality breathtaking photos.

4.) Be Patient!

- Finding a quality sugar daddy usually won’t happen over night, this can be a process of months for many, so don’t get discouraged if things aren’t happening as quickly as you’d like.

- Monitor your inbox regularly to stay on top of messages and responses, the faster the reply- the more likely to engage in a conversation that is truly going somewhere.

I hope all of you guys enjoyed the end of the summer, and are kicking ass in school so far if you’re currently studying!

May all of you have abundant blessings and luck this week! Talk soon.

xo

lex

Update: June 3rd, 2019

>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<

Hey Babydolls!

Tonight is my last night at the beach with my S/D Cal. It’s been an amazing trip, did a lot of shopping today, and spent quite a bit of time at the beach! The new bags, relaxation and daiquiris were much needed!

After my first initial postings about traveling to see two of my out of state SDs, I received a lot of messages asking for tips/advice on meeting with POT/SDs that require long distance travel arrangements. So while I’m sitting here on the beach, I’ve decided to compile a list of things I hope offer some answers and insight on the frequent questions I’ve been getting!

BEFORE meeting

>•<•>•<•>>•<•>•<•>

1.) Make sure you REALLY know who you’re traveling to meet.

• Know his real name, a photo form of government issued I.D is a great way to confirm this.

• FaceTime/ Skype/ Snapchat Vid Call him, or oovoo him. (He can fake his pictures, but not likely a video chat.)

• Look him up! Run his name on google, and

a background check platform.

2.) Make sure you guys are on the same page, about EVERYTHING.

• The compensation you are receiving

should be clearly stated, EXACT numbers.

• Form of compensation should be clear as well. (cash, direct deposit, etc.)

• Compensation should always be given up front, make sure he is aware and prepared.

• Has sex been discussed in a respectful and mutual manner? Whether you are comfortable, OR NOT, with intimacy should be clear. (Condoms are a standard ladies and gentlemen, for your own health do no risk it. Bringing your own supply ensures an untampered with option at the ready.)

3.) Making Travel/Lodging Arrangements.

• Always first request an airline voucher/gift card so you can manage your own travel arrangements.

• If the POT insists on taking care of your tickets themself, always call the airport and confirm the legitimacy of the information you are provided.

• If the POT offers their private jet, always request to fly commercial first for the initial meeting. Explain you are not comfortable boarding a private aircraft until after becoming acquainted with them. Private planes are much more comfortable and tend to take off quicker however, definitely utilize this option after you are comfortable you’ve had a successful meeting.

•First meeting trips should only be between 2-3 days.

• Request private appropriate lodging. There is no reason to stay in the POT’s personal home/condo/flat. This is a must for your safety, as well as privacy.

• Research the hotel your POT suggests. Confirm it is up to your standards, and that its location is in a safe neighborhood.

• The hotel room should be in YOUR name. Confirm this by calling the hotel itself, and have them confirm your reservation.

4.) Safety First

• ALWAYS tell someone where you are going, when you are going, and with whom you are meeting.

• If possible, tell a trusted individual you know in real life all of the above information.

• If for privacy and discretion reasons you are unable to alert someone in your real life, ALWAYS alert a sugar sister. We are a loving community of support, and I for one have been blessed with many friendships through the bowl, and I’m sure many of you have as well. There are so many of us who are more then happy to be a friend and confidant to any sugar babes out there looking for a support team. (Most of my layovers and plane transfers I spend talking/facetiming my sugar babe friends, seriously so amazing to be able to talk to someone who is likeminded and knows what experiences you encounter! This can also really help shake any nerves you may have; by talking it out with someone who understands! ) My inbox is always open to you babydolls! ((Sometimes messages get burried due to an overload of spam ))

• Upon arrival after your plane lands, request private transportation arrangements that do not include your POT present. Getting into the car alone with him before checking into the hotel and settling in is not ideal or safe. Your first meeting should be public, not in his vehicle. Suggest he sends you an Uber/lyft gift card, or some taxi fare that will cover the full amount of the trip from the airport to your lodging space. This way you can arrange your own arrival to the hotel, allowing yourself time to freshen up, as well as time to get comfortable- And it’s safer!

• ALWAYS travel with emergency money on your debit/credit card. Should something go wrong, or change last minute, you need to be able to adapt! Whether that be getting yourself a new hotel room or plane ticket, you should be prepared to take care of yourself if necessary.

5.) Packing Guidance

• Discuss what the plans will be for the time you spend down there. Will you be going to the Yacht club? Music theater? Louvre de france? Knowing your plans will help you pack appropriately and efficiently!

• Check out the weather forecast for where you are traveling to, plan accordingly.

• Pack a few back-up outfits! A zipper can break, a dress can snag, but you can be one step ahead of these fashion disasters.

•Review TSA guidelines as to what amounts of liquid and powder can be brought through security. (3.4 ounces) Double check all the cosmetics you are bringing! There’s nothing worse then having an agent rummage through your belongings and confiscating a precious product all because it’s size is an issue!

•Pack travel size cosmetics you are comfortable with! Traveling to meet a POT is not the time to discover you have an allergy, or just overall unsatisfied in a product you purchased just because it was in the travel size section. Buy travel canisters/containers you can transfer the products you’re already using into instead.

• Pepper spray in the the purse is always a nice touch!

• Always leave a little space in your luggage for any shopping scores. However, if your shopping was EXTRA successful, don’t be afraid to let your POT know you need additional luggage space to be purchased. Also note, often times airlines will charge extra for more baggage to be included, remind him of that fee he needs to take care of as well.

>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<

If your POT has any objections to any of the above, trust your gut and tell him goodbye, sugar daddies are replaceable- you are not. Your safety is key, never compromise yourself during this process for any reason, there is no payout worth your life.

But don’t forget to have fun! Breathe! This trip is about meeting a potential man who is going to take care of you the way you deserve to be! Enjoy the journey

xo

lex