nothing compares to the calendar on this site. flat fuck friday. the halloween post that always shows up mid july. you see four anime girls and immediately know what day of the week it is. on the ides of march we all wake up and clown on some guy who got stabbed two thousand years ago. last week we celebrated down with cis day. I can’t wait for ever given and nov 5th anniversary memes. anyways have a lovely neil banging out the tunes day
Actually, watching folks continue to insist that any queer relationship that isn’t explicitly and overtly romantic or sexual in media is “cowardly” is not only exhausting, but genuinely fucking infuriating.
First, queer coding is not the same as queerbaiting, and queer coding absolutely had and still has its place in all types of art, second, it’s restricting to the types of characters and stories that queer artists can create, especially queer creators who are not out, professionally or at all, and third, your conceptualization of what is queer enough is exclusionary. End of story.
Our popular discourse around men—the final gendered category we allow ourselves to treat as both fixedandbad, marked as a collective scapegoat for all things narcissistic, obtuse, and disappointing—is an expression of maintaining our fidelity to the world of distinction, or refusing to break with the conditions of the struggle we observe. In this way, we are simply repeating the belief that a binary gender can be a stable category, even as we simultaneously fight against the conditions of the gender binary foisting stable and unwanted categories upon us. We cannot champion a non-biologically essentialist, trans-inclusive feminism and champion No Cis Men; we cannot have it both ways.
This past June, queer theorist Che Gossett tweeted, “the popular grammar of ‘cis man’ treats gender & sex as fixed and forecloses trans femme-inity. We need new grammar that doesnt reinforc[e] the binary logic its supposed to oppose.” They sparked a conversation that went on to question the popularity of gender-based door policies at queer parties, adding, “I went to a queer ‘feminist’ play party where there was a no cis man policy and got gender policed at door and then non consensually touched at the party. Like that’s not how violence or ending it works, it just a violent & false sense of ‘safety.’” GUSH, the infamous queer club night that happens once a month in Brooklyn, has a door policy that’s exemplary of the kind of hostile, “lol,” faux-inclusive tone of gender policing in the name of queer liberation that’s currently in vogue: the cover charge is donation-based, but its flier “suggests $10 for anyone who identifies as lesbian, female, trans, nonbinary, gender non-conforming, intersex, or asexual, $15 for cis gay men, and $75 for cis straight men.” I went to the party once, got trashed, and made out with my crush. Contemplating going again the next month, my friend and I drank wine in bed. “I’m sorry, but, where exactly do these people think trans women come from?” they wondered aloud. I know a fair amount of people who identified publicly as gay men before identifying publicly as trans women, and a fair amount of people who I thought were cis until they came out as trans or nonbinary. The truth is, people explore and expand their gender identities—and feel safe doing so—by being in community with others who have explored and expanded their gender identities.
Who are we to say who is a cis man, at this point? People are cis until they’re not; look cis depending on what you think cis looks like; look trans depending on what you think trans looks like. People realize their identities over time, usually in nonlinear ways. A person might never disclose their gender identity publicly; they might not feel safe doing so.
No Cis Men has taken hold beyond nightlife; it’s the new, ostensibly more expansive but equally nonsensical “women and femmes.” Women’s colleges, too, have adopted versions of the phrase as their admissions policy. In 2014, Mount Holyoke announced it was expanding its admissions criteria beyond solely admitting women; the only defined gender not eligible for admission was “biologically born male; identifies as man.” The new dating app Lex is intended for anyone but cis men, though its founder “can’t explicitly say that.” In a recent Instagram post, user @drdevonpricewrote,
“Anyone but cis men” policies mean you think assigned female people can be assumed to be safe by default, and that assigned male people can’t … People are constantly in search of an acceptable way to lump all assigned female people together with maybe, mayyybe a small number of trans women (if that) and call that feminist…[these] policies always end up excluding trans women and assigned male trans people, because they paint assigned male people as inherently more dangerous and suspect than assigned female ones.
The Political Heterosexual’s hatred of the men she loves and the queer’s championing of the No Cis Men position are one and the same: the last bastion of binary gender stability; the only remaining sexism palatable to us all.
… .
It’s true that men frequently commit profound violence against women, particularly women they’re in intimate relationships with. It’s true that much of masculinity under hetero-patriarchal capitalism is toxic. It’s true that cis white men are prodigal sons, so often impenetrable by cruel institutions that discipline the rest of us. And yet, judging by the sheer number of men in prison alone, the state arguably commits more violence against men than it does against women. At the very least, the state commits significantly more violence against cis Black men than it does against cis white women. No Cis Men policies and casual man-hating refuse to account for how expansive and ever-changing the category of cis men is. The violence we ascribe to masculinity is always already inscribed by police, prisons, schools, and hospitals, stamped onto men to bleed onto the rest of us. Upholding this category as something poisonous, to be quarantined and kept out of our allegedly safe spaces, both discursively and materially, only strengthens the rigid categorizing we have otherwise worked to oppose.
Douglas: Now tell us about - are you going to tell us the story about you and Terry…
Neil: Yes, I will.
Douglas: I think that’s important one.
Neil: I was gonna say our location is a Chinese restaurant we’d had turned into a sushi restaurant. So Terry and I, Terry Pratchett and I, had a standing… not even a standing joke, just a standing plan, that we were going to have sushi - there was going to be a scene in Good Omens where sushi was eaten and we were gonna be extras, we were gonna sit in the background, eating sushi while it was done. And I was so looking forward to this and, so I wrote this scene with it being sushi, even though Terry was gone, with that in mind and I thought: Oh, I’ll sit and I’ll eat lots of sushi as an extra, this will be my scene as an extra, I’ll just be in the background. And then, on the day, or a couple of days before, I realized that I couldn’t do it.
Douglas: You never told me this before either. I might have pushed you into doing it, had I known. I think you were right not to tell me.
Neil: I was keeping it to me self ‘cause I was always like: Oh, maybe I’ll be… this will be my cameo. And then I couldn’t. I was just so sad, ‘cause Terry wasn’t there. And it was probably the day that I missed Terry the most of all of the filming - it was just this one scene ‘cause it was written for Terry and all of the sushi meals we’d ever had and all of the strange way that sushi ran through Good Omens.
top tier character-building device in pokemon games is when a seemingly antagonistic character has a golbat on their team and then later has it evolved into a crobat, which requires significant friendship, thus signalling that the character was always a kind person inside (plumeria), is growing past their issues and learning to be kinder (silver), may hold a spark of kindness that undermines their cold and calculating image (cyrus), etc etc
Meanwhile, Ghetsis—who is an antagonist who pretends to be an advocate for Pokemon rights—faces off against you with an under-leveled Hydreigon, which in the canon lore of the series only happens when someone forces evolution early, and that Hydreigon uses a full-power Frustration in B2W2, suggesting that it absolutely loathes Ghetsis.
For any non-pokemon players:
In pokemon games, there’s a hidden stat called friendship, which maxes out at 255 points; there are two (major) moves that are affected by this:
Return, which gets stronger the higher a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping at 102 base power with 255 friendship (for context, hyper beam has a base power of 150)
And frustration, which does the opposite, getting stronger the lower a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping out at 102 base power when the pokemon is at 0 friendship
The EXTRA fucked up thing is, almost NO pokemon has a base friendship of 0. The only pokemon that do are legendary pokemon and buneary. So Ghetsis actively lowered his Hydreigon’s friendship, and the only way to do that in-game is to let your pokemon faint often without using healing items on them
In other words Ghetsis is a major cunt
wh
what’s up with buneary???
Buneary fucking hates you by default. It’s also another friendship-dependent evolution line.
for others who are clueless in the poking men, this is the tiny bunny that fucking hates you
One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had.
It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!
Number one best character trait you can give to any character is profound kindness. Number two is huge bitch. Number 3 is dumb of ass. They should all be the same person.
anyway since the shitcourse has started earlier than ever this year I just want to say that my stance on kink @ pride is firmly that I’d rather see one hundred leather pups than a single cop at pride, and it is in fact the half-naked kinksters some of y'all are so afraid of who have, in my experience, been the safest people to be around when cops inevitably revert to their default state and start menacing any queers they don’t like.
also for all the “think of the children"s out there, I wanna let you in on a little something:
I’ve taught a human development class to kids ages 10-12 for the last four years. our curriculum covers a lot of topics, among them sexual intimacy. one of our lessons involves looking at non-sexual nude illustrations of people with visible genitalia, as part of a discussion about all the different ways that bodies can look. we don’t conceal anything - a child once asked me why someone might want to put a penis in their mouth, and we had a great conversation about how different people like different kinds of intimacy.
some of the kids are curious and have a lot of questions. those kids’ parents should be prepared to answer any questions they might have in a thoughtful and age appropriate way, the same way they would if their kid had questions about, idk, a victoria’s secret ad or a suggestive music video or a comedian telling a joke a bit above their maturity level.
some kids prefer not to talk about it; I’ve definitely had kiddos too embarrassed to even look at my very cartoony and poorly-drawn genitalia diagrams. those kids’ parents should be aware of that and check in with their kiddos, the same way parents should when they take their children to any large event that could be overwhelming.
and a lot of kids just don’t give a shit. especially for the ones younger than I teach, sexuality is barely a blip on the radar and public semi-nudity is something silly at worst - although it’s much more likely that they’ll be seeing less skin than they would have at a beach or public pool. seeing a harness or a puppy mask or a dildo isn’t likely to raise any serious alarm or any questions they can’t be answered with "that’s something some people like to wear to special events to express themselves” or “that’s a toy for grown ups.”
what I’m getting at here is that a.) being in the vicinity of a person who’s partially dressed or holding a flogger is not in any way innately harmful to children and b.) the comfort and safety of children in public spaces and the ways in which they process anything potentially confusing they may see in those places is always the responsibility of the caregivers who presumably brought them into that space to begin with.
obviously there is a level of individual responsibility to not be a freak to children, and if someone is, like, urinating on kids or purposefully exposing their genitalia specifically to children that’s Fucking Bad. but baselessly assuming that this is an endemic problem that must be policed and that queer spaces are somehow particularly hostile to children is uuuh homophobic, and if you think so little of your own so-called community maybe you’re the one who shouldn’t be attending pride.
So, after reading a bit into comments and theories about Young Griff/Aegon - which I certainly should not have done because many of those are really appalling – it seems that basically Dany is a total Queen for the same things for which Aegon gets mocked and abused. LOL!
And that’s when comparing them is completely nonsensical anyway.
It’s measuring up »Character A«, that we saw very little of and have no insight (POV) into, to »Character B«, that we have hundreds of pages on (both 3rd Person and POV) – and then judge »Character A« on the grounds of »Character B«.
From the tiny bits we saw of Aegon, it’s not even possible to create a reliable characterization – not if you’re not just trying to shove bias into the gaps as it suits you and execute some wishful condemnation.
For example, one of the accusations towards Aegon that I read quite commonly is that he is arrogant. Not that I would even see that between the lines – but that’s where I am as positively biased towards him as others are negatively biased towards him. Yet apart from that, Dany has a whole lot of scenes – every time she acts as a Khaleesi or Queen in particular – where she is arrogant or at least tries to be. Furthermore, she constantly goes on about all her titles, about being the blood of the dragon, and demands her people to cross the world with her to get her the throne she believes to be hers. That she is fearing and doubting and insecure, we only know from her POV – and the only reason why we do not know about Aegon’s inner monologue is that we did not see any yet. That, however, does not mean that he is a plain, empty caricature who is all that little bit of Tyrion- and JonCon-POV and nothing more. GRRM does not create plain caricature characters – so it’s very unlikely that there is not very much more to his character than the little we saw.
Another accusation often read is that he is naive and inexperienced – and for this, he is compared to Dany, Jon or Robb. But they WERE exactly that: Naive and inexperienced. They grew from it, but they have been with us for a very long time. We saw them grow from being little more than a child to the characters they are today, or to their demise. But Aegon has been sheltered away until basically today. He studied the world, but he has no experience with people. He, just like the others, will either grow or find his demise. Robb was hugely naive throughout his whole campaign, he was just lucky for a while. He headed out to safe, then avenge his father, and it got turned into a wanna-be-king-megalomania. Dany was a scared, little mouse until she found the strength to grow. Jon was as entitled as a bastard could be and pretty arrogant at that until Donal Noye and the rest of the Night’s Watch set his head right. Or take Renly who proved to be stubborn and naive beyond anything when his entire justification for wanting to supplant his older brother was: “people like me more than Stannis“.
Aegon has no tale like that YET. He has been on a boat, hidden away, sheltered. He is just starting out into the world. So comparing him to where Jon and Dany are today, or where Renly and Robb were before they ended, is really absurd. No matter how far the rest of the story is advanced, he is still at the beginning.
Now, please don’t get me wrong: Dany is a wholesome, fascinating character. She has her flaws and strengths because she is not just a caricature. But exactly that is what makes the way Aegon is treated so unfair.
And regardless if he is Aegon or only Young Griff, he is a boy of ~16 who has not seen much of the world. Yes, Daenerys is younger, but she has also been through a lot of shit already – which is not Aegon’s fault, nor is it his fault, that he is inexperienced.
Yes, he assumes that Daenerys will marry him – but so does Daenerys! When she thinks about the son of her older brother at one time, she believes that, had the boy lived, she would have married him because it would have been natural. Targaryens did that sort of thing. Daenerys grew up with that knowledge, just as Aegon did. The idea, that Dany might have a different idea on the matter, makes Aegon react angrily, though it’s not clear whether he is angry that he has been treated like he is a stupid child by Tyrion, whether he feels offended by the idea that Dany might not accept his hand in marriage – or whether he is completely shocked by the idea that all the stuff he has been fed his whole life might not work out as smoothly. It is so easy to read »spoiled brat« into that, but this is only Tyrion’s POV – and Tyrion was in a very bleak mood at that time. We see Aegon being friendly and gentle, laughing and joking, smart and a good student, helping and even saving Tyrion – yet it is that one moment at the Cyvasse Board that people use to judge his character – though that moment was so much more soul wrenching to him that just him losing the game.
All in all, judging Aegon on the same grounds as judging Daenerys makes absolutely no sense. Nothing of this is his doing, either. He is a young boy who is still trying to find his bearings in a world that probably consists only of lies. He might be just a pawn in a play, or he might be the last dragon, and then he is the rightful heir – no matter if Daenerys likes that or not.
I decided to make a few posts on Dear Door, on Sid especially. This is the third. The first, which explains who and what Sid actually is, can be found here; the second about his (non-existent) deal with Satan, here.
In this I will just sort out the things that make him seem like he is betraying Cain. In another post I will explain what I think he truly is doing. If I put both into the same post, it would become faaar to long =D
Now, first of all: I can’t read Korean, but use several translation tools for the chapters which are not yet available in English. Thus, part of this is interpretation, yet with the knowledge of what happens until the most recent Korean chapters. I will leave links to support the author at the end.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!
1.) He tells Cain, when he attacks him, that Satan made him an offer which he could not refuse (riches, power, standing, for Cain’s life).
Cain asks him “WHY?” and the parasites - as you see above - are closely watching Sid. The fact is, the reasons he tells Cain are not what Satan actually promised him. Satan told him, he would get “the one thing” he wanted if he gave Satan everything else for it. But the “one thing” Sid wants is Cain to live safely and with that, Sid will not trust Satan (”Take it all, but I will not trust you with the safety of the King”). What he answers Cain instead of the truth, are more likely the reasons he told the parasitic demons inside him, who would otherwise stop him from his plans if they did not see a gain for themselves.
2.) We have him say that he does not want to die a “meaningless death” in a war that Cain cannot win.
Sid is sure that Cain can not win against Satan. First of all, he thinks Cain is too “good hearted” for that - if you could use this phrase with a demon. Secondly Cain is a part of Satan and Satan is the only one who could suck Cain up - and as long as normal laws rule not the other way around. Yet all that Sid says in the end, is that he does not want to die in that futile war. However, this does not mean that he will not die for Cain. And in fact, in chapter 43 he says “I’ve imagined (…) what it would be like to die by your side. But (…) I couldn’t allow that to happen to you”, meaning he will not let Cain die.
3.) The demons inside him frequently talk about how they want to bring down the King (Cain).
Of course they do. Sid had to make them believe that what he was planning was because he wanted more power, more safety for himself. They do not care if Sid loves somebody, cares for somebody or wants to protect somebody. All those parasites care about is staying alive themselves, and whenever Sid does something that seems threatening to his own well-fare and thereby theirs, they try to interfere.
It’s important to note at this moment, that the only ones, who ever phrase something like “let’s kill/end the King” are those parasites. Never Sid.
4.) Sid steals the compass for “Sneaky-snaky-demon-boy” to find and kill Aaron, the only one he presumes could easily heal Cain from the wound he receives in chapter 1 (the shard). He sends the other medic, who tried to heal Cain and told him about Aaron, into the front line of the next battle where he is missing in action.
He needed Cain hurt by that shard because it slowly drained his Mana and kept him from recuperating easily. I will come back to this in the post about what I think he actually is doing, but at this moment just let me mention that Sid says at some other point, that as long as Cain’s Mana is low, he could hide Cain in the human realm and Satan would never find him.
Also, though Sid gave the compass to the other demon to get rid of Aaron and tried to kill him in the moment, Aaron was telling Cain about the compass, Sid later on never pulls through with killing Aaron, even if he could have done so easily. The reason is that at that point, Aaron being dead or alive is not important for Cain’s safety anymore.
5.) He steals other weapons from Cain’s territory to weaken him.
Yes, he definitely is trying to weaken Cain’s forces for the sole purpose of stopping the war in which Cain will ultimately die if he keeps going. Without weapons and men, Cain will have to retreat for now and will not be able to oppose Satan and his forces in hell. He also had to make Satan think he was indeed working for him.
6.) He seems to be at odds with all of Cain other generals and subordinates.
Sid is not easy to deal with, yes. There are moments in which he is an arrogant bastard and we would probably need a long psychology session to find out why. Jealousy? Fear? Mocking? The need to hide the parasites? Who knows? In the end, Sid has to be as secretive towards those who serve Cain as he has to be towards Cain himself and towards the demons inside him. That means, he couldn’t be a team player, even if he wanted to.
7.) He allowed demons into the human realm and had them attack Cain.
He did so because he needed to weaken Cain, and probably to keep him occupied. But some of those were in fact sent by Satan, not by Sid.
8.) He fights with and almost kills both Cain and Ben.
And yet, he never does kill any of them, even when he has the chance. There are moments where he could have killed Joon, Cain, Aaron, Jin, Ben, Gayle with the flick of a finger, but he didn’t. He always fled the scene and the parasites inside him reprimand him because of it.
In fact, in chapter 70 he leaves Ben alive and tells him to stay by Cain’s said. It makes Ben wonder, why a traitor would ask that of him.
9.) He teams up with Jude, which up till then we don’t know.
Yes … but Jude is not with Satan. Jude is with the angels who in the end happen to safe and help Cain as well.
10.) He teams up with Metatron …
He does, at a moment when he thinks he lost everything and won’t be able to safe Cain anymore. Furthermore, it’s not like he comes with Metatron fully of his own volition. Metatron keeps him locked in several times and meddles with his mind and feelings. He also switched off the demons inside Sid and that honestly must have felt like suddenly finding Paradise.
In the end, when Sid has to decide between Cain and Metatron, he saves Cain from the other.
Tl;dr: Sid is turncoat in many ways. He makes everyone think he works for Satan: To make the parasites work along, to make Satan halt the war and wait for Sid to deliver Cain. He also weakens Cain’s forces so he can not attack Satan in that war he can’t win. But if he had truly turned on Cain, he could have killed him several times. He never did.
Sid of Dear Door - the deal with Satan he never struck
I decided to make a few posts on Dear Door, on Sid especially. This is the second. The first, which explains who and what Sid actually is, can be found here.
Now, first of all: I can’t read Korean, but use several translation tools for the chapters which are not yet available in English. Thus, part of this is interpretation, yet with the knowledge of what happens until the most recent Korean chapters. I will leave links to support the author at the end.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!
In chapter 42 we see Sid remember one incident when he was much younger and Satan came to “visit him” in his mind. There is no exact time frame given to when this “meeting” happened, but I am pretty sure that it’s happening at the same time as what we see in chapter 34, where Cain comes home from a battle against the forces of Satan finding a distraught and crying Sid.
Sid in chapter 34 was hurt himself, but much more than for himself, he feared for Cain and his troops, and blamed himself for not being able to help. Around that time I think Satan came to see him. He tells Sid, that he had felt him be so distressed, he could not pass him by. This sounds a lot to me like Sid was already fearing for Cain, and that Satan had been near: So there had been a battle, there had been a peril and Sid had been scared and very upset.
To be able to talk to him, Satan “switches off” the parasitic demons, then he shows Sid what will happen to Cain if he continues fighting against Satan: he will die.
At that point, Sid already fears that Cain can’t win against Satan. The pictures shown to Sid, however, are probably more for effect, because actually Satan will simply be able to suck Cain up. Higher demons feast on same and lower class demons. There are some demons of the same statute as Cain, but he is not of the same statute as Satan. In chapter 21, Cain admits to Joon, that there is only one who can suck him up. That one is Satan.
Cain, in fact, happens to be a part of Satan. At some point, they split and there is a chapter, in which Satan claims that when Cain “broke loose” from him, he took with him anything kind and bright in Satan.
His offer is, that if Sid gave him “anything else”, then Satan will give Sid that one and only thing “he wants”. Sid tells Satan, that he accepts that bargain and Satan leaves. Then Sid says - while the parasites are still out cold - “that Satan may take anything from him, but that he will not trust Satan with the safety of his king.”
Or to put it shortly: Satan can have it all, but not Cain.
To Cain, however, Sid later claims that he indeed struck that deal with Satan - but not because he actually did. Only because the demons inside him are listening. Sid formed a plan, one to safe Cain from Satan for good, but this thing is dangerous. It could lead to his own death if he was found out by either side. So to make the parasites play along he had to give them an explanation. Claiming that he was planning to deliver Cain to Satan, to gain a new standing and safety by that, was probably the best way to make them play along.
With all the things Sid keeps on saying and doing, it is easy to believe, he was actually working with Satan or trying to kill Cain. And this is easily contradicted: If Sid had wanted Cain dead, he could just have left him to die in chapter 3. There were several moments for Sid to kill either Cain, Joon, Aaron, Ben, Gayle, Jin, yet he never did. He came close, but he always fled the scene, he never pulled through. He could have killed but never did.
Tl;dr: Satan offers Sid to take everything Sid does not want but to give him the one thing he wishes for instead. Sid pretends to accept it, but once Satan is gone he says: “You can have anything, but I will not trust you with the safety of the king (Cain).
Now the question obviously is, what indeed is his plan, but that has to get into a new post ;)
I decided to make a few posts on Dear Door, on Sid especially, and this is the one I will start with.
Now, first of all: I can’t read Korean, but use several translation tools for the chapters which are not yet available in English. Thus, part of this is interpretation, yet with the knowledge of what happens until the most recent Korean chapters. I will leave links to support the author at the end.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!
Sid was a very low class-demon (there are classes). Though he was not supposed to, he developed some kind of self-awareness and curiosity, and thus wanted to explore the light shining in from above and the noises he kept hearing.
Once he had climbed up there, he was snatched by some higher-class monsters/demons, who wanted to feast on him and tore him apart. Young Cain somehow happened to witness that and stopped them. He gave Sid a new body, some powers and a new life, and named him Sid (or rather ‘Seed’ in Korean).
In general, as a demon to survive, sustain your Mana or gain strength, you need to feast on other demons. This can be lower/smaller ones, but they won’t really satisfy and you’d need a lot. So it better be demons of the same size/stature.
Sid had to do this as well. He had to sustain a “higher-class body and Mana”, but only had the mental strength of a lower-class demon. Therefore, he could not digest the ones he had to feast on. They ended up cluttering inside him, became parasitic and developed some kind of control over him.
Those parasites have a very good idea of what they want - and first of all they want to stay alive. This means, of course, that they want Sid to stay alive.
However, it does not mean, that they want what is best for Sid or what Sid wishes for. They do not care about what is best for Sid, about how he feels or what he wants. Rather they have him unfeeling at all, because like that it is easiest for them to know what’s going on and what he’s doing next. Because of this, Sid often has to lie about his true plans(see below).
Furthermore, they fear of Sid having to feast on more demons for his strength, because they know they will also just end up inside him and that it’s getting “too full” in there.
Sid is in a constant struggle against them now. He wants to get rid of them but does not know how. He wants to quiet them down, but this is a trick he is still trying to learn and whenever he accomplishes it, it won’t last long and takes a lot of his strength.
They threaten to take control over him and seem to actually have the ability to do so. They talk to him constantly; try to influence him and think he is behaving more and more suspiciously. This is a bit like Sid was being schizophrenic, only that his true self is always aware of what is happening all the time and is trying to maintain control.
He can’t let those demons inside him know what he really is planning for Cain or what he feels about Jin because they will stop him, work against him or take control fully.
Tl;dr:Sid got his body from Cain and had to feast on other demons to remain alive. Those ended up as parasites in his body who try to control him. He has to lie to them (and thereby others) to conceal from them what he truly is planning, as they will try to stop him, otherwise.
sometimes, i need to learn to unlearn everything about you. i really dont need to be walking around, looking at things only to be reminded that maybe once, you would have loved it but now, not even your ghost lingers around
