I hope yall know that when you talk about erotic fanfiction or the concept of it at school that people hear about it right? Don’t talk about how your “hand hurts” because of doing you know what because of fanfiction at school. People hear that stuff and roast you in front of everyone in other classes. You aren’t invisible to the outside world, we hear and see you! It is uncomfortable for everybody.
Want to try something new? Try Maladaptive Daydreaming!!!
It’s the best way to spend your time when you’re alone with your own thoughts!
It has a lot of amazing benefits, including!:
Wasting between a quarter and a half of your day daydreaming instead of doing useful stuff!
Pacing around your room like a caged animal until you feel dizzy and your legs hurt!
Jumping, running or doing sudden movements in the most intense moments that can lead to you accidentally hurting yourself in the furniture from running straight into it!
Making the same faces as the characters to visualize them better in your head!
Daydreamingin public, including the weird movements and faces, and hoping nobody saw you!
Making yourself happy, sad, angry or panicked just by daydreaming something as vividly as possible!
Dropping whatever you were doing just to daydream! Washing yourself? Doing your homework? Paying attention in class? Drawing? No!! Your daydream is more important!!
Imagining yourself as the-nobody-who-turned-into-a-hero-and-is-admired-by-everyone because no one cares about you irl!
Having multiple storylines with the same characters and alternating between them while you try to find the best one to keep!
Stopping the fictional daydream you’ve worked for almost half of your life just because a furry anime that came out recently has almost the same plot as your daydreams, and feeling like you’re stealing theiridea!
Switching your daydreams from a fictional world with fictional characters to using real life people!
Daydreaming about situations that have a close to zero chance of happening, and obsessing over them happening!
And if they can happen irl, daydreaming about them until you actually dothem!!
Daydreaming about people you’ll never meet, and I don’t mean only celebrities!
Obsessively daydreaming about said people as a coping mechanism that you’ll never meet them in real life!!
Slightly altering your daydream after you find something new about those people, which conflicts with the current storyline!
Having dramatic daydreams about what someone might say and what you’ll answer and how you’ll feel, only to get an underwhelming answer irl!
ImaginingTHE worst scenario if something bad happens to someone and you know about it only vaguely, and seeing it so clearly in your head that you panic because you don’t know what’s actually happening to them irl!
Taking the “thinking about what you could’ve said in an argument” to the next level and preparing yourself in case one happens based on vague hints that it might happen!
Daydreaming so much about an idea and for a longer period of time, “waking up” and being sad that the daydream wasn’t real even though you knew it wasn’t real from the get-go!
And this is only my experience! Yours could be completely different! Maybe even better than mine!!
Experts recommend starting it as early as possible, preferably in kindergarten!! So you can daydream for as long as this short life allows you!!
Soon enough you won’t want to live in this boring “real” life anymore!
why is it not more wellknown that women can have an actual literal disorder that not rarely makes them literally suicidal for up to 10 days every month before their period lmao like… teach this in class? it’s not a joke?
Wait what??
hereherehere (there’s more sites saying the same thing)
it’s called PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and it’s basically PMS but make it Super Hardcore, it’s a hormonal disorder and to my knowledge they’re not exactly sure what causes it - there’s theories tho - but there seems to be little research on it anyway. As I said it’s similar to PMS in terms of symptoms [mood swings, lethargy, cramps, changed sleeping pattern, libido, appetite] but the symptoms get so severe that they are interfering with your daily life and impacting it negatively. Especially in terms of psychological symptoms, while it doesn’t go that far for everyone who has it and also not every month, a lot of the people who experience it are sent into a severe depressive episode beause of it and it’s really not rare at all for them to experience legitimate suicidal thoughts that go away the second they get their period (or up to two days in from what I’ve read).
I’ve read different claims on how many people it affects, some sources say 5%, others 8%, others say 2% so I don’t know about that, but menstruating people need to know this lmao. Not knowing that your suicidality is caused by a literal physical disorder that you have can be so dangerous, especially when you already struggle with such issues anyway or are trying to recover from mental illness and don’t realize that your “relapses” are symptoms of an actual disorder.
also I originally said women but of course this applies to menstruating trans men and nb folks too.
I’ll reblog this every time I see it because YUP
the amount of times me or friends are having a Seriously Bad Time and then a few days later be like “oh, i just got my period, everything makes sense now” and like, let out this huge sigh of releif because it means you’re not relapsing and it will go away soon…
This is about to be a long ass rant so ♀️ this is your warning but I felt this needed to be said.
This is the first time I have heard of PMDD. As a nearly 22 year old female who had to take a health class 7 - yes you read that correctly - 7 times (NYC likes to have health / sex ed in both science and PE classes at least where I went to middle/high school so 2x a year for 7th, 8th and 9th grade (with the PE classes being all female / FOCUSED ON THE FEMALE SIDE OF SEX ED TAUGHT BY FEMALE GYM TEACHERS / SPECIALIZED FEMALE INSTRUCTORS BROUGHT IN WHERE THEIR LITERAL JOB IS TO TEACH SEX ED TO TEENAGE GIRLS!!!) plus once in 10th after moving) I am appalled (but not surprised) by the public education system in the U.S especially considering that the two states - especially NY - where I had to take sex ed were considered “progressive” with their education. I don’t even want to think about what abstienance only states are not teaching ♀️.
There are so many things that I should not have had to learn about my body on my own - and that I am still apparently learning. The U.S education system has failed every single female (or trans male) student that has not been taught about THIS and other COMMON disorders or syndromes that biology tries to fuck us over with. I didn’t know what PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) was until I was 16, almost 17, and my endo diagnosed me. I thought that being in pain while BREATHING while on your period was normal. I thought that bleeding heavily (start to finish) for 10 (sometimes 10+) days was normal. Or having periods where I would sometimes go through 2 or 3 OVERNIGHT pads in as many hours was normal. I knew that not getting my period every month (sometimes not for 3 or 4) was not normal but I was relieved given how horrific my periods always were. It wasn’t until I found out that not shedding your unterine lining monthly increased your risk of cancer (also not taught to me in sex ed but by my endo) that I realized not getting my period was not something to be relieved by.
The fact that this is another fairly common thing that women have that is also not taught as part of sex ed baffles me. What I was taught in sex ed? Some women have longer cycles than others and some experience more pain during their cycles than others do. So I thought that my terrible periods were normal - that it was just something to deal with because it was the way it was. It wasn’t until I was put on birth control to regulate my periods that I started having “normal ones” (still heavy and painful cramping but no where near as hellish as they were before). The fact that I went YEARS of experiencing periods that were so awful that I would go throughout my day trying to move my body as little as possible or not breathe too deeply so I wouldn’t be moving my core muscles at times because I didn’t know that that was something I should be telling my doctors or my mom is not ok. A 12 year old girl should not be telling herself to ‘suck it up’ and finish getting ready because it’s ‘just my period’ and that it’s not an excuse my parents will let me stay home from school from.
And now, at 21, you’re going to tell me that PMDD exsists? That there is a reason my depression seems to exacerbated before my period? Uh, uh. Not cool sex ed, super Not. Cool. I’m sure there’s also a reason I feel downright homicidal during my period as well but I do know why? No, I do not. But I am a reasonable enough person to realize that becoming an irrantional level of irritated by hearing someone else breathing (quietly) is probably not great. Or being annoyed by feeling another human’s presence in the same house - not even the same room - where they are in no way, shape or form trying to interact with me and minding their own goddamn business is, again, not great. Can we please for the love of all that is holy start teaching girls, and boys, about common health issues that can arise (environmentally AND biologically) within their reproductive systems beyond STD/STIs or the consequences of failed contraception??? Jesus Christ ♀️. Thanks for coming to my pissed off Ted Talk.
you know what, i can analyse everything and find a sense to everything and get behind everything we saw on this second season
but
Anne wanting children and saying things like
“Children are a blessing”
is something i absolutely can’t get behind i’m sorry this is just weird, absurd and wrong on so many levels – what a cheap message – also out of character
this is not revolutionary in any way whatsoever
I get that this was done to show us how she starts thinking about these things from the moment Ann Walker starts to express her doubts about their union – I get that it was made to show us how much Ann Walker affects her, all this is a direct consequence of their conversation in 2x06 – I get that in a way this is a sort of declaration of love to Ann, because Anne’s willing to question one of the strongest convictions she has about herself and about life in general…for Ann.
but still…
WE do matter and OUR relationships are not defined by the ability or desire to have children.
i’ve said it,
bye
now i’m gonna pretend it never happened just like season one ann walker cutting her wrist – i love this show but sometimes sally writes the most absurd shit i swear to god
EDIT: by the way, wanting children with your partner is not the ultimate act of love – just saying
No but like, looking through old fandom posts in Pandora Hearts, you see a lot of people disliking Alice because of how she treated Oz like she was the only one bad to Oz and like Oz didn’t have worse issues to sort out regarding her? Alice was an abrasive traumatized teen who managed to actually keep much of her humanity despite spending so long in the madness of the Abyss, and she’s labeled as being more toxic to Oz because she calls him a manservant and she resorted to violence as a means of communication (much of this violence btw being really old slap-stick jp humor that was popular back in the day) at the start of their relationship.
No dares to talk about how Oz was obsessed with Alice. Oz would never hurt Alice himself, while Alice would hurt Oz, but Oz would literally do so much worse to anyone who hurt Alice than anything Alice has done to Oz. He’d destroy anything, anyone, including himself and herself, and the only one to ever pull Oz out of that was Alice herself so like???
That kind of single-faceted analysis is not valid?
And in terms of character development, I will admit that compared to her fellow castmates, Alice wasn’t given the writing she deserved despite having SOmuch literary potential. However,like Oz, Gilbert, Leo, Break, and Vincent, what Alice has is that her flaws actually bear negative impacts within the narrative. Meaning it has palpable narrative consequences that affect her well-being and her dynamics with other characters. It literally cannot be that Character A’s flaw is X, but X only hurts themselves and no one else. Those flaws HAVE to affect the impression of other people to actually have narrative worth in my eyes.
Fictional characters should serve an overall story, they shouldn’t all exist to serve one character in particular.
It made what development she had feel very tangible, though not complete, because her flaws were fully recognized and acknowledged by the whole narrative.
She should not be liked by every other character in the series if she were to be the main heroine, or else she’d actually be a bad heroine. Maybe it’s just my personal taste, but if a character has literally no enemies in their franchise or has made no one rightfully mad or disappointed in them, I find them greatly lacking as characters.
Then you might be saying, well does that mean you don’t like Oz? Because his flaw hurt himself more than others? Because his flaw was specifically that he didn’t want to bother others? No, because Oz doesn’t actually have this problem. Break doesn’t like him initially for exactly this reason, his old tendency to carry fronts, thus it was a flaw that directly weighed into the narrative direction.
TLDR: A CHARACTER’S FLAWS CAN’T BE CUTE OR ELSE THEY’RE NOT ACTUALLY FLAWS
You know that old saying where people don’t like that person fishing for compliments by berating themselves??? That’s the same genre of annoyance I get when a character’s flaws only serve to make them cuter or more sympathetic.
Okay. It’s rare for me to discuss…incidents within social media. Social media was is and will always be a mistake, for it brings out the worst narcissistic tendencies of people. I’m not usually one to engage in such garbage. (And the meta-irony of criticizing social media on social media is not lost on me. I certainly don’t like it.) But the recent flood of posts regarding the incident Monday is forcing me to call out this utter bullshit.
I am not directly referring to, of course, the Tumblr Purge of 19 November 2018. I’m referring to the outrageous apocalyptic response to said Tumblr purge. @vogolsart and his self-aggrandizing post deserves particular mention for its wankery.
Has everyone lost their fucking mind here?
Yes, there was an incident. Yes, it’s unfortunate and scary that a lot of erotic artists were kicked from the site, even accidentally. It is definitely worrisome for many people who have accounts here. I’m not disputing any of this.
But that’s no reason to suddenly turn into petty, spineless, nigh-suicidal and extremely apocalyptic conspiracy mongerers. This is ridiculous behavior and we should know this.
Did we forget the nature of our business?
Yes, it’s adult content. And adult content, by and large, exists in an area of bare tolerance in the world of capital. Yes, there has been significant gains of social acceptance in the field, especially in many parts of the Western world. But it is still, in the parlance of the financial world, “high risk.” There are many places in this world, both economically and socially, where we are undesirables. Even in America. Especially in America.
And before you say as an artist, “but my girlfriend knows! My family’s cool with it!” Let me ask you this: How many of you are willing to state your real name to the public, and that you create this art? I doubt many hands are being raised here. Hell, not many porn stars use their real names or even something resembling them.
I know many artists who live in parts of the world where their work is illegal (one of whom I haven’t heard in months and worry for their safety in particular). I know quite a few who live in parts of the United States where having such a profession is cause for ostracism. It doesn’t help that there are more than a few forms of adult content that are highly illegal and will get you thrown in jail. One artist, who I will not name because I cannot verify the record, was jailed this year for likely that reason.
We often forget that here, in this cesspool of narcissism. Then reality hits.
Yes, A Corporation™ Is Blocking and Banning Users…As Has Always Been Their Right.
Corporations and businesses have an extreme amount of latitude regarding their operations, especially in the United States, where our labor history has been one filled with exploitation (through chattel slavery and other means), repression, and fear of dem Commie reds. That latitude extends to customers and users. Their rights have been enshrined through extensive legislation and legal precedent dating back to the 19th century.
The immediate claims of censorship and “muh freedom of speech” fails to understand what either means. The First Amendment’s reach has been defined repeatedly through legal precedent to mean that the government has no right to impede upon people’s speech if it is not threatening to the government itself (see previous bold text as an example of how that latter part’s been abused).
And, by legal definition, Corporations are People. Funny how that works…
In short, much as there is nothing stopping us from telling some asshole to shut the fuck up, companies like Tumblr have wide scope to silence employees, customers, users. They always have because we gave them that. This is a country where a boss can fire you because you looked at them funny, and you would have no recourse for such a petty action. And we worship these businesses for some dimwitted reason. Just today, I saw a blatant partisan condemning someone’s suggestion to make Election Day a federal holiday because “but businesses won’t close, and we should respect business hours before democracy.” I shit you not there. Why would it surprise us that a company would try to shut up its users? I mean, it’s in the Tumblr ToS.
Consequently, We’ve Always Been On Borrowed Time Here.
Our existence on Tumblr and other social media platforms has always been at the tender mercy of this company, and its parent companies. That is the risk we took when we created our accounts here, on Twitter, on Facebook, on Patreon…anywhere that is a business. The moral gray area we reside in, no matter how socially legitimate we may seem, has always put us in this position. And it is again not helped by people who commit blatant crimes or create illegal works related to this field. Tumblr’s moves to restrict our visibility is not unprecedented. As it stands, even before this happened, our posts couldn’t be searched on Google, most of the search and exploration functions in Tumblr didn’t work for NSFW posts, and we were getting “Restricted” filters on the top of our posts over the last couple of years.
That borrowed time became all the more apparent last year, when the alt-right lost their shit because their eye candy did a nigh-suicidal run in the Mediterranean worthy of ponces and Patreon banned her for such stupidity. Who did they first target when they bitched at Patreon for its supposed hypocrisy in throwing her out? Us adult content creators. I’m hesitant to make direct connections by correlation, but the evidence is pretty overwhelming that this caused subsequent purges. Ditto the whole mess between XHamster and No Nut November this year.
The thing is, we should’ve seen this coming ages ago. For us to lose our shit now is pathetic and belies a shameful narcissistic tendency that has become so obvious in American (and to a lesser extent by export, Western) culture since the rise of social media. Who are we to be so fucking apocalyptic?
What Is To Be Done?
Now, this is not to say that we should lay down and just assume things are all right. We know it’s not all right, it’s not even close to all right. But it hasn’t been all right for a long time either. That we are seeing this freakout occur may be a wake-up call, but we must recognize some basic things moving forward:
1. Calm the Fuck Down, This Isn’t The Holocaust
It does us no good to reduce ourselves to petty conspiracy mongering. That includes suggesting that every glitch or mistake that Tumblr makes is part of some broader conspiracy to suppress us. It’s stupid, it makes look like nutjobs, and more importantly, it impedes and drains us of any effort to actually address the situation. So, step away from the computer, go outside, eat some delicious cookies, take a few deep breaths.
2. Don’t Get Too Comfortable
This is a line that my closest friend has said time and again. And it’s a god-damn good phrase. The reason this has been such a freak out is because we got too comfortable. We got complacent. We forgot that our position has always been somewhat tenuous in big platforms such as this. Now that the reality has hit, it’s time to plan accordingly and never step into such complacency again.
3. Organize And Support One Another
There has been some motivation on this front to make moves. Examples of this are Kupaa Networks’ offers to discount hosting for artists. (By the way, Renezuo wrote a decent piece on the subject on the Kupaa site) That’s a start. More can be done, though. Artists should start talking with one another with one question on their minds: “What canwe do next?”
Another big reason this has happened is that we have never organized in any coherent fashion to push back on Tumblr en masse. It’s hard to say whether doing so now will save our position long term here, but that shouldn’t stop us from doing it anyway. When you go it alone, businesses will always crush you. Speaking of which…
4. Remember That Corporations Aren’t Your Friend
Tumblr was a corporation. It got bought by another corporation. It has been sold to yet another corporation, where it currently resides. Corporations often pay little attention to people like us, and they have investors and shareholders they are very beholden to. The bottom line matters above all, and if we are a heavy enough impediment to that bottom line, you can be sure we’ll be removed.
There has been talk of platforms to migrate to, such as Minds and Mastodon. However, despite the song and dance routine they do about “free speech” this and “no censorship” that, they haven’t been tested on that front with sufficient profit and clout. When a sexual predator, or organized gang, or other criminal aspect slips through their cracks - and they will, believe you me - and they get busted for it, that’s when we’ll see where they really stand. When some enemy of ours - and we still have so many, some of whom will be using these same platforms - campaigns to push us out, that will be where we see who they’ll defend. Especially if/when that got that precious VC money bankrolling them.
(The same goes to any existing big platform, like Reddit or Twitter, that are lax enough to allow us to post.)
Not to discourage you from going to these platforms. But you must see them as what they are: Businesses that will dump you the moment it’s in their economic interest to do so. Do not rely on them.
Yes, a lot of bad shit happened on Monday. That shouldn’t be cause to panic and kvetch like the narcissists that so overwhelm our social media and regular media outlets today, as well as the partisans that are little more than blowhards looking out for themselves and their place in their political tribe. We are of a stronger stuff than that. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be making this art.
