You smirked softly as you gazed upon the two boys kneeling in front of you, both their gazes cast downwards and not only their faces, but bare shoulders and chests practically burning a bright red.
“You two are so cute,” You cooed, walking up to them “Why so nervous, hm?”
The pair glanced to you, and then to each other, before immediately averting their eyes again. Neither of them could deny how much the situation, as well as the shame that came with it, was turning them on- their cocks were already completely hard again after having made each other cum before you caught them.
“Are you scared?” You cocked your head
“M-mommy-”Taeyong started, looking up to you with teary eyes and pouty lips “I’m sorry for cumming without your permission,”
You regarded him for a moment, not saying anything before turning to Kun, keeping a face of positive neutrality. Kun pursed his lips, shutting his eyes momentarily before looking up to you.
“We’re sorry,” he said, obviously struggling to maintain eye contact
You chuckled softly
“Get on the bed,”
The two immediately followed orders- they knew better than to mistake your pleasantness for softness.
“Good boys,” You smirked, and they breathed out, watching them fidget as they so clearly wondered what you were about to do to them
the sun was just setting on the horizon when you visited him. you come over frequently, as the breaks in both of your schedules line up, allowing you guys time to see each other. the apartment is empty when you first walk in and all the lights are off. you chuckle, knowing he’s in his room doing whatever he does in his free time. it’s different each time. you kick off your shoes and walk to his bedroom, where you can hear quiet music playing.
his back is turned to you when you enter, only to quickly swivel around in his chair at the sound of your entrance.
“hey, sorry for not knocking.”
“that’s alright,” ten smiles. “i knew it was you when i heard the front door open.”
he was wearing an apron, with splotches of paint scattered across the fabric. in his hand laid a palette, filled with mellow colors of blue, black, green, brown, and white.
“were you expecting me?” you ask, pulling around a chair and sitting backwards so your head leaned against the backend.
“i always do,” ten responds, a teasing quip to his tongue.
you roll your eyes at his playful mannerism. it’s amazing how fast your heart beats whenever he opens his mouth, despite how often you visit. you guess you’re not used to it yet. maybe you never will be.
you fold your arms along the rear of the chair, chin resting atop of your hands. the sky is painted pink and yellow, casting a warm shadow onto the canvas in front of ten. within the intricate lines and sketches drawn in black, a woman is displayed, painted with the most detail and color.
“she’s beautiful,” you remark. ten’s eyes follow your gaze to the drawing, and the corners of his mouths quirk up into a smile.
“she reminds me of you.”
you let out a giggle of embarrassment and hide your face in your arms. ten bites his tongue to hold his excitement in.
“what movie should we watch tonight?” you ask, choosing to disregard ten’s last flirty comment for the sake of your composure.
“i was thinking pride and prejudice,” he states after a couple of seconds. ten sets down the palette and brush in his hands and replaces the two objects with your face instead. a quiet gasp leaves your lips at the proximity of your faces. “how does that sound, my lovely elizabeth bennett?”
you bite your lip and grin at the man awaiting an answer in front of you. the heat emanating off both of your faces is enough to warm you from the evening breeze seeping in from the cracked windows in his room. touching your nose with his, you can’t contain the grin that spreads from cheek to cheek as you whisper against ten’s lips. perhaps you could get used to this feeling after all.
for@boxer-skz, just a little smth before i go into hiding
[13:39] the almost-silent volume of the television seems to make you even more tired as you snuggle your head further into your boyfriend’s chest. the soft rhythm of his heartbeat is like music to your ears, and you hum sleepily when he brings his hand up to play with your hair.
when he notices your breathing finally slow down and steady itself, xuxi drops his head slightly to watch your sleeping form. sure, it’s not the most attractive angle to look at someone from, but the way your features relax into the calmest expression make it so that he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.
even so, moments like this are rare between you two. it’s increasingly more difficult to find time to spend with each other, and the time you do have is either spent with the rest of the guys around or out in public. he unconditionally looks forward to spending time with you alone, even if you are just napping and not paying any attention to him.
as with any situation like this, his first thought is to immediately grab his phone and take a hundred pictures at both the best and the worst angles he can without moving. xuxi scrolls through them, chuckling silently to himself when he imagines your reaction to finding out he has photos of you like that. one in particular stands out, however, but not in a bad way: your head buried in his chest, lips in a soft pout, and brows furrowed so slightly that he only notices because of how often he looks at you in general. if he could only take one picture of you for the rest of his life, this would definitely top the list.
a smile of pure love and adoration makes its way onto his face as he sets the photo as his lockscreen, continuously turning his phone on to look at it for god knows how long before finally resting his head against yours and allowing sleep to cloud his mind with yours.
i really hate doing this but i cleared my inbox once again because what i have in there i can’t think of anything and/or can’t write seven different scenarios because honestly with a lot of stuff they’ll act the same. here’s who i’ll write for right now:
summary: “to be lovers is sweet, but to be enemies is bliss.”
warnings: oral (f rec), fingering (f rec), exhibitionism (sex in a hallway), hair pulling, alcohol mention, mentions of knives, mentions of a gunshot, some ANGST???? spy!au, partners to lovers to enemies to hooking up in a hallway au? sorta service top!lucas, fem!reader.
word count: 2.151
note: this is really different for me so pls interact if you read this!
kun appreciation post because our angel deserves it also a small rant, for under appreciating him.
I’ve been in such a kun mood since he came into nct, literally the day they announced the rookies I know he’d have my heart.
It just really upsets me to see people, even now, pulling him down because he’s not their favourite in the members. I saw a whole long ass post of someone just hating on him when he definitely doesn’t deserve it. Like any idol doesn’t deserve that. And it’s so upsetting, you call yourself a fan but you drag a member down? For no reason at all?
I know he definitely won’t ever see this but he’s such an amazing artist and person. Such talent, he impresses me all the time. And I’m happy to say I support this man in any of his decisions. Like I support everyone in the Kpop community.
I just love qian kun so damn much, and I appreciate him so so much.
Summery: fluff, short, teasing, kissing, kinda food play,it’s just really fluffy cause lucas is my fluffy baby THIS IS REALLY FUCKING SWEET LIKE PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH AFTERWARDS YOUR TEETH MIGHT ROT. It’s that sweet.
Stan wayv thank you
Hey sweethearts, I’m really sorry this is so short, I promise you I will be back with long writings. My wrist is getting a whole lot better, and I’ve been able to type longer than I did before so that’s great. I missed you all so much so I had to write something for you guys, this was supposed to be published a couple of days ago but I made more improvements because it was short…so I hope you enjoy it. I love you all and thank you for waiting
~~~~~~~~~~
You placed a piece of the baby pink candy into your mouth, leaving your tongue poking out for a little too long as your eyes stared into lucas’s chocolate brown eyes. His eyes scanned your face quickly, to your eyes, your nose, your cheeks then to your lips. Your mouth agape, and the little heart with the words “you’re mine” showing. His heart thumped faster at your feautures, how angelic, how prepossessing you are. It made him fall in love with you all over again. You slowly rose to your knees, crawling over to his side of the couch, with a lilac coloured candy.
“Open your mouth” you whispered sweetly, sending him a small smile, he swore he saw you shine when you did. He complied, opening up his pretty plump lips. You placed it onto his tongue, the small text written onto the sweet, “kiss me”. Which you really needed right now.
He closed his lips, you could already see his cheeks flush at the close contact. Even though he is used to it, you still make him feel like this is the first time he’s ever been near you. You press your lips to his, before letting him swallow the fizzy candy.
You slowly climb onto his lap, the fabric of his grey sweats feeling heavenly against your smooth legs. You wrap your arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer to you, if you could anymore.
“I never knew someone, just one single person, could make me feel like the most loved person in the world. That’s how you make me feel, and I really hope I make you feel the same lucas” you affirm slowly, your head slowly dropping as your cheeks begin to turn a fair shade of red.
“You really are a cheese ball aren’t you huh, of course you do, that’s why you’re never leaving my side. Don’t ever leave my side I don’t know what I’d do without you honestly” he says, a little chuckle leaving his lips as you brought your pinky up.
“Pinky promise I won’t ever leave, you promise too”
summery: horror au!, ghost au!,house share,LOtS of angst, fluff, smut, please, please don’t read if you are easily tiggered, held hostage, murder, abuse, making someone believe they are ill,in the end it basically all goes down hill. I love horror and I just had tooooo yikes.
these will be short chapters in a quite long series, I’ll see where it takes me. I’ve had this idea for a very, very long time and I’ve thought about it and planned it. So I really hope you like it:))
Also let’s say they both speak fluent English okay hehe
BUT PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED AND I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THIS IS HOW LUCAS OR WINWIN ACT, ITS FICTION.
I will put warnings in the chapters which will be triggering, the first few chapters will have nothing triggering at all so you can read if you want:)
||CHAPTER 1||~
~~~_~~~~
A new country, a new neighbourhood,new people, a new life. It all excited you, but you also feared it. You were all by yourself, you left your family behind, your friends, everyone you cared about because you wanted a change. I guess you could call it selfish, leaving everyone behind just because you wasn’t satisfied with how you lived. But there was no turning back now, you needed this, you wanted this.
You sat in your car, drumming your fingers against the wheel as you stared at the house infront of you. The white walls cracked and chipped, the bricks peeking through the paint. You kept rehearsing your lines, still not familiar on the Chinese language but you were getting there slowly.
“Maybe, hopefully they speak little English. Please god I beg you, I cannot handl-” your words were cut off as a shriek left your lips, your hands clutching tightly at the wheel as you feel your heart racing. You quickly swung your head to look out of your window, trying to find the source that made the loud tapping.
There stood two tall, thin boys. One taller than the other. large smiles gracing both of their faces, it made you feel calm, your heart beat suddenly slowing down. You quickly pressed the button to roll down the window, quickly the cold air hitting your bare skin making a shiver roll up your spine.
“Y/n? It’s nice to meet you finally, you should come in and get out of the cold. You look freezing sweetie.We will discuss everything as soon as we get in” one of the boys who you presumed to be lucas said with a sweet nod, opening your car door. You were surprised to hear him speak English, very good English, maybe even better than yours. You let out a giggle as you slowly pushed yourself from out of your car, grabbing his hand.
“Yeah I’m y/n, nice to meet you both. I’m very thankful that you rented me a room, I know it must be scary letting a complete stranger into your home” you say with a chuckle, pulling your jacket around you tighter as you walked closer to the door with them. Small flowers and weeds grew around the steps, a lamp that hanged from the wall lit up the dark driveway.
“Don’t worry about it sweetheart,we like helping. Don’t we Sicheng?” So that’s Sicheng, the shorter boy with the cute smile. You giggled at his short but rushed “yes”. You stared at him , watching the way he nervously looked around, his hair bouncing with every step. After a second He looked across straight at you, catching your eyes, a small smirk forming on his lips. You felt your whole soul leave you, literally.
Lucas caught onto both of you, letting out a small cough before opening the door. As soon as it opened you felt the heat of the house hit you, a satisfied feeling washing over you. The smell of mint filled the air as you step in out of the cold, it smelt like home in a weird way. The walls painted a calming cream colour, lamp light filled the room making it lighter but not too light. It felt comforting, the whole aroma of the house.
“This is nice wow, It feels just like home” you say, sitting on one of the couches, feeling your body sink into the cushions. You close your eyes, letting your head rest back. You hear a clink, like glass meeting glass, you glance up. Noticing Lucas place a cup into the table in front of you.
“Here’s some tea, cherry by the way, I understands flights drain you and make you feel ewie. If you get what I mean but anyway this might refresh you” he giggles, sitting down next to you as he sips his. You nod you head, sending him a smile before whispering “thank you”.
You pick the dainty cup up, taking a sip of the reddish liquid. A hum leaving you as you took a bigger sip. “So I guess you like it” you hear Sicheng say, knowing it definitely wasn’t lucas’ voice. You quickly take another sip, before placing it back down onto the table. You nod before lying back against the couch, a smile on your face.
“Why don’t you have a sleep, I can see you’re really tired sweetheart. If you don’t mind I will get your luggage out of your car and put in into your room. I’ll order something for dinner and wake you up when it’s here. Then we will explain everything and we will show you around” lucas says before tapping your knee and getting up, grabbing you a blanket from the other chair.
“I would like that, thank you. Yeah that’s absolutely fine, but you don’t have to I can do it” you go to stand up but he politely pushes you back down, sending you a smile which made you heart do a flip again. You sit back, pulling the blanket over you, letting yourself fall into the comfort. You hear your keys jingle, you move your hand up your pocket but feel nothing, you remember putting your car keys in your pocket before locking up.
“I have them don’t worry” Sicheng says jingling your keys again, you feel relief wash over you but also confusion. You shake the thoughts out of your head, closing your eyes again, feeling tiredness fill your body. You hear them share words before the front door opens then closes.
The last thing you hear are faint whispers,different voices, some louder then others, some deeper than others,before you succumbed to sleep. The one that stood out to you was the voice of a girl, her single word running through your sleep deprived Brain.
Characters: Tsundere!Dong Sicheng x Y/N & NCT/WAYV
Genre: NCT College AU | NCT Heirs AU
Warnings: angst, fluff
Summary:
Homesickness made you think irrational things
(Y/N and her platonic relationship with Jaehyun and NCT members)
Y/N never felt this kind of loneliness in her life.
Yes, she loves being on her own but from time to time, she wanted to socialize , talked to people and listen to their stories. She was always like that. Quiet and a listener, and people love her for that. But not in this mansion.
It was spacious and it made her feel small and alone. She was given a room here to stay since Sicheng’s family invited and talked to her family about her, living inside SM’s village. It was for the security purpose and they are trying to protect her to the media when nothing is yet to be published about the first NCT’s soulmate.
His parents offered a house for her family but her parents refused the offer. They said that they are happy and contented on their simple life, much to Y/N’s dismay but she knew that her parents wanted her to live a comfortable life without thinking about her parents and siblings. She was told that she need to live there for 5 years , until she was 25 and Sicheng, 27, for them to get married. It was for them to have time finishing their studies and getting to know each other so the marriage will run smoothly.
She was now under the wing of NCT, living inside the infamous mansion where the 21 heirs are currently living. The mansion was approximately 20 000+ sq.ft. It was like in the middle of the forest for its massive garden. It takes you about 10 minutes to drive from the gate to the main door. The main door have those columns you saw in the pictures of greek architecture. The door was above ten feet in height and it goes beyond it when you entered inside. The ceiling has a transparent circle like a half globe with a golden chandelier. The two grand staircase will bring you to the left and right wing. The handle was made of gold, white and black accents and the steps was made of white gold marbles. You can literally see your reflection from the floor because it was so clear like you are walking on the water. She was guided to her own room by the butler of Sicheng. All the staffs are greeting her but they didn’t made an eye contact like they don’t want any business from her. She think she will never know how many bedrooms and how big this place is that occupies multiple people.
The spacious mansion was just her second concern, but her biggest problem was the people living here. It was like they telling her where she should be. It was like there was an invisible line between them and her that she must never cross.
They gave her cold shoulders.
She tried to talk to the boys, but they gave her short answers and they showed her that they don’t trust her. She can’t blame them, maybe they grew up here and they only have each other, they need to avoid talking to random people to protect themselves so it was hard for them when someone they barely knew was now living with them.
Her room was right next to Sicheng, Lucas, Ten, Hendery, Xiaojun, Yangyang and Kun, in the left wing. Sometimes, when she go out to have a fresh air at night, she saw Kun and he will smile at her, somehow it made her feel welcomed here. But for a month living in this mansion, they never tried to approach her and it made her feel sad.
-
She woke up 2:00am in the morning, with a bad dream. She almost cried, but she don’t want to for that will make her feel more sad. She glance at the huge window she have in her room that faced the whole garden at the entrance of the mansion. The moon was shining and it was quiet and dark. It was like scenery in her own bedroom back home, but without the huge space and the grandeur of everything. She hug her knees that was covered by her cream comforter, she wanted to run away, but to who? No one wanted to engage a conversation with her no matter how much she tried.
Sicheng never glanced at her direction, only when their family had a dinner together, she saw him smiled and talk to her like a gentleman. She almost thought that he will take care of her and he will make her stay here so comfortable and welcoming, but she have learned that it was only a façade played by him to look convincing in front of her family.
She didn’t know what made her stand up, grab her comforter, pillow and go out of her room. She wanted to knock at Sicheng’s bedroom but she know better than waking him up and he will scold her for being so childish. Maybe she was just exhausted emotionally or maybe the lack sleep in these past few days that she walk to nowhere, passing door to door to she don’t know who owned those room, not until she saw the only room that has the lights still on peaking underneath the door.
She stopped in front of it and she didn’t think of knocking not until she realized that she already did and the click sound it made when it was opened by the owner.
“Oh… hi, how can I help you?” she was greeted by a shocked Jaehyun wearing a pair of gray pajamas. Jaehyun’s eyes were tired but the sleepiness was absent from it. He was trying to sleep for like an hour now by watching a movie but it was interrupted by a knock. She didn’t know what to say or why she was even there in the first place. She started to get shy when Jaehyun raised his left eyebrow waiting for her response.
“I-I… It’s—I’m sorry to interrupt you.” She avoided his eyes and tried to get out of there as much as possible but her feet was caught on the comforter she was holding. She stumbled forward when she was about to took her second step away from his doorstep and it was too late for Jaehyun to catch her.
“Are you okay?” Jaehyun immediately asked and he kneeled down to check her up but he was only greeted by her sniffing, crying face.
“I miss home.” It was somehow a relief to her to say it out loud. She was convincing herself in these past few days that she was now at the age when she need to be independent from her family and started to live by herself. It was hard to admit it but feeling homesick was eating her up in one month of staying there and letting it out to someone who she isn’t close with was not her main concern for now.
Jaehyun eyes soften when she cried softly. He did know that she was sad but he didn’t say anything. He noticed her attempts to approach each one of them but they all refused because of one reason.
She was so kind and they don’t trust easily.
They are still calculating her and observing if she was a bad person or not. Jaehyun really do want to talk to her, to know her but he was hesitant. She’s the soulmate of his bestfriend and he need to know her more, but now he regretted his decision. They can observe her behavior but they will never know what was in her heart.
“What’s wrong, why is our baby crying?” He sat in front of her and combs her hair. He never know the feeling of having a sibling. He grew up being an only child. He was not the kind of person to be protective on someone except from his soul brothers (the NCT) and his family, but when she entered to their lives, he couldn’t help but to think what if he have a little sister like her. He heard that she was at the same age like Mark, Lucas, Hendery and Xiaojun, but the boys are yet adjusting to have a female in their household.
“I miss my home. It’s so cold here. Nobody wanted me to be here anyway.” She talked between her sobs.
‘Everybody loves you here, we are glad that you are here.’
Jaehyun wanted to answer her. He wanted to tell her the truth. He was sure that he was not the only one who felt soft on her. Because if not, they will play pranks with her, but they didn’t. It was a sign that they respect her like he do.
But he didn’t know Sicheng, his bestfriend’s heart. They know the real Sicheng and the way he treat the important people in his life. He may be cold and have a sharp tongue but he was far from it when you became important to him. Sicheng may be sly to some people but he never lied to his family and to them, his brother. But the now was different. Nobody know how he would treat his soulmate. Jaehyun thinks that maybe, Sicheng himself didn’t know how to react too.
“You wanna stay with me tonight? We can put a pillow between us if you don’t feel comfortable.” Jaehyun didn’t know how to comfort someone especially a lady. He just sit there and listen to them but he wanted to do something good for someone like her. She was now their sister, the bride to be of his bestfriend, and he was thankful that someone so kind was meant to be for his bestfriend. She was caring and soft, perfect for Sicheng, someone who was having a hard time expressing his emotions.
She look at him hesitantly, like a child calculating her next move and she nodded in agreement. She didn’t think it was the best idea, and she was not the type of person to be this close to someone, given that it was a man and sleeping in one bed with him. But she was hurt and feeling so homesick. She wanted to hug her mother even though they are not the type of affectionate to their family members. She was never an affectionate person physically, but she badly wanted to hug someone and Jaehyun, he was the first person who showed her kindness.
He helped her to stand up and he guided her to his room. It was clean and minimalistic. White, gray and accented with black. A bed, keyboard and vinyl collections. He also have his netflix on in a mini projector he has and it was playing on the white wall as the screen.
“I can sleep on the floor. Thank you for letting me here.” She said with little voice. It only made him shook his head.
“You are sleeping in my bed.” He firmly told her peeling his comforter to make a space for her. She climbed at his king size bed and tugged her comforter and pillow. He arranged his pillows and he put a pillow between them before sitting at his side and put his comforter above his legs. His back was at the headboard and he look at her after continuing the movie he was watching.
“Try to get some sleep okay? I will just finish this and try to catch some sleep too.” His voice was soft and low. It reminds her of his father’s voice when he was singing a lullaby for her when she was hospitalized and couldn’t sleep. It was the first and last time he do that to her and she was still wishing for it to be happened again.
“Thank you, Jaehyun.” She whispered, hugging her pillow before she fell asleep. His soothing hand on her hair lulls her and Jaehyun smiled in return.
-
Jaehyun opened the fridge to look for something to eat but he found them bland for his tastebuds. It was Saturday morning and he didn’t have classes for today. He slept for 12 hours and was hungry but he saw none of the foods inside their six-door-fridge will satisfy his cravings.
“Umm, Good morning.” He turned his back to look at the small voice who greeted him. Y/N was holding a basket of apples and she put it down at the centre of the table. She was shyly smiling at him and he can feel that she was nervous of talking to him from the way she glanced at his face and down to the basket.
“They bought some groceries and I told them to get some apples because we ran out of it.” She tried to make a conversation but Jaehyun didn’t know how to react. They made an agreement that they need to observe her first for a month before deciding if she was someone to be trusted. He saw her picked an apple from the basket and she gave it to him. Her eyes was looking at him with pure innocence and it made him soft inside.
“You like apples right? I always saw you eating these every morning.” She hesitantly said. She waited for his response but he didn’t get the apples in her hand and just look at it like some kind of a strange object. Much to her dismay and felt rejected again, she was about to retreat her hand when he take the apple.
“Thanks.” He answered and she smiled a little. She rearranged the apples in the basket and get back to the kitchen to help the cooks for preparing their breakfast. It was enough for today, she said to herself. At least he didn’t snob her like the other times she tried to approach him.
Jaehyun was left there, standing like a fool with his pajamas and bead-head with an apple in his hand.
-
NCT mansion was woken up by a Taeyong shouting at the hallway early in the morning.
“WHERE IS THE PRINCESS OF THIS HOUSEHOLD?!” the members gathered around the dining table, still half awake and pouting when the leader called an emergency meeting.
“Maybe she’s just up early and walked in the garden.” Haechan told the older scratching his head for the interrupted sleep. He was clinging on Taeil who was clearly maintaining his sitting composure but deep inside, he was still in the dreamland.
“She always sleep and woke up same time and I knew that because I checked her before I sleep,for a month.” Taeyong nags like a mother whom you should not question when it comes to taking care of his daughter.
“What are you? A creep? Why are you doing that? “ Yuta said while buttering his croissant. He was always up earliest of them all and have his breakfast. He could say that to Taeyong because none of them knew that he secretly arranged fruits in a plate and orders the maid to give it to y/n for her daily dose of natural vitamins.
“She’s now living here and now she’s my responsibility. “ Taeyong pointed at himself and now pointing at the ground of the house. Taeyong never felt so cared for in his life. He was always seen as the leader, someone strong and protective so he hide his weaknesses, but Y/N saw it and she didn’t look at him as someone who was scary. She didn’t think twice and took care of him when he needed to. So Taeyong promised to himself that he will be the best brother for her. His protective instinct was always activated when it comes to her.
“What’s with the early bickering?” Jaehyun entered the dining hall and picked up one of the apples at the centre of the table. He was wearing his pajamas and clearly he just woke up from a deep sleep.
“Y/N was not in her bed. She’s missing.” Taeyong told him and he massage the bridge of his nose, the early migraine. Taeyong was thinking about her running away because of their cold treatment. He was sorry that they are bunch of people who could not express their emotions easily.
“Oh, her? She’s still sleeping in my bed.” Jaehyun answered in a matter of fact tone while taking a bite and munching his apple.
Everybody was now wide awake and looking at him in horror.
“SHE WHAT?” Taeyong, Doyoung and Kun shouted at the same time that made Jaehyun taken a back.
“Hyung, you can’t do that. “ Mark said and he also heard Lucas said ‘oh man, you didn’t’. Jaehyun look at them like he was out of his mind.
“Did you just thought that I did something to her? Really? She’s my bestfriend’s soulmate! You are all dirty minded!” Jaehyun defended himself and disgust was evident to his face.
“Why is she at your bed then? Jaehyun, we are bunch of wolves and Yuta is our leader. We can flirt and get what we want from anyone with two legs.” Johnny raised his eyebrow.
“Hyung, she’s Y/N. Do you really think I could hurt her?” Jaehyun was so frustrated at the older one. It was a relief that Sicheng was out of sight because he was a heavy sleeper and he didn’t know what could go wrong if he knew that they were talking about his soulmate.
“She was crying in the middle of the night when she knocked at my door. It seems like she doesn’t know what she was doing. Maybe because she was sad. So I offered my bed to her. We even slept with a pillow between us. And that’s all!” Jaehyun explained and it feels like he committed the most hideous crime of all time. He was being watched by 19 pairs of eyes with their arm crossed on their chest.
“You know, maybe we did took it too far. She was sad. She told me she miss her home and nobody wanted her to be here…” Jaehyun added with his sad tone. They are quiet for a minute. They all think that she’s wrong. They want her here. They understand her homesickness. When they reached by the age of 16, they started to live here, part of the training to be the heir of a huge empire. They all missed their home, the comfort of the four walls they grew up with, their normal life. And when she started to live with them, she made them remember that feeling of being home again.
When she got out and bought Haechan his favorite strawberry milk, Hendery’s banana milk and Chenle’s favorite ramen. She gave them that with a smile and told them she remember it when she heard them one night, bickering to each other who will buy those in the middle of the night.
When she saw Renjun painting at the garden of roses, she told him that it’s pretty and she was looking forward to his paintings in the future. When Taeyong hurted himself (which was a frequent event) she treat his wounds and told him to be careful next time. When she took care of Doyoung when he was sick, helping Jisung to his assignments, secretly accompanying Kun to his every night jogging (which Kun was aware of) and knowing Johnny’s coffee taste, they started to have a soft spot for someone so understanding and caring like here. She felt like home. She made them feel like home.
“Is there something wrong?” Their attention drifted from Jaehyun and now at the person on the entrance of the dining hall. She was still wearing her pajamas yesterday with her bed head and a concerned look in her face.
“I heard shouting upstairs, are you fighting?” She asked again and she look at Taeyong for answer.
“N-no. We are not. We’re just… discussing.” Taeyong defended and she walked towards them.
“Why are you all up so early? Didn’t some of you have classes today?” She said and almost half of them was startled and now running to their room to prepare for their class.
“Are you all fighting? Don’t fight…” she ask again with a soft voice and she sat down besides Yuta.
“No, we are not. Eat this, okay? I will take you out today.” Yuta gave the food he prepared to her and messed her hair giving her a tiny smile. She smiled at him and took the plate of fruits he offered. It was an odd feeling that she have now the attention of everyone.
“Sorry, we are not the most affectionate people you have met. We will try out best starting today, okay?” Taeyong softly told her. She look at her lap. She way flustered at their caring approach, far from how they act at the first time she live there.
“I thought you all don’t want me here.” She said with a sad smile. She was playing with the hem of her pajama top, refusing to look at the older’s eyes.
“No, we love you here. It was far from what you are thinking. We are just having a hard time expressing it.” Doyoung answered she returned his smile.
“Thank you.”
Somehow, knowing what they truly feel, it made her feel close at home.
-
( I will try to write what will happen to her and to Sicheng. You can request if you wanted a moment of Y/N with another member.)
Characters: Tsundere!Dong Sicheng x Y/N & NCT/WAYV
Genre: NCT College AU | NCT Heirs AU
Warnings: angst, fluff
Summary:
Homesickness made you think irrational things
(Y/N and her platonic relationship with Jaehyun and NCT members)
Y/N never felt this kind of loneliness in her life.
Yes, she loves being on her own but from time to time, she wanted to socialize , talked to people and listen to their stories. She was always like that. Quiet and a listener, and people love her for that. But not in this mansion.
It was spacious and it made her feel small and alone. She was given a room here to stay since Sicheng’s family invited and talked to her family about her, living inside SM’s village. It was for the security purpose and they are trying to protect her to the media when nothing is yet to be published about the first NCT’s soulmate.
His parents offered a house for her family but her parents refused the offer. They said that they are happy and contented on their simple life, much to Y/N’s dismay but she knew that her parents wanted her to live a comfortable life without thinking about her parents and siblings. She was told that she need to live there for 5 years , until she was 25 and Sicheng, 27, for them to get married. It was for them to have time finishing their studies and getting to know each other so the marriage will run smoothly.
She was now under the wing of NCT, living inside the infamous mansion where the 21 heirs are currently living. The mansion was approximately 20 000+ sq.ft. It was like in the middle of the forest for its massive garden. It takes you about 10 minutes to drive from the gate to the main door. The main door have those columns you saw in the pictures of greek architecture. The door was above ten feet in height and it goes beyond it when you entered inside. The ceiling has a transparent circle like a half globe with a golden chandelier. The two grand staircase will bring you to the left and right wing. The handle was made of gold, white and black accents and the steps was made of white gold marbles. You can literally see your reflection from the floor because it was so clear like you are walking on the water. She was guided to her own room by the butler of Sicheng. All the staffs are greeting her but they didn’t made an eye contact like they don’t want any business from her. She think she will never know how many bedrooms and how big this place is that occupies multiple people.
The spacious mansion was just her second concern, but her biggest problem was the people living here. It was like they telling her where she should be. It was like there was an invisible line between them and her that she must never cross.
They gave her cold shoulders.
She tried to talk to the boys, but they gave her short answers and they showed her that they don’t trust her. She can’t blame them, maybe they grew up here and they only have each other, they need to avoid talking to random people to protect themselves so it was hard for them when someone they barely knew was now living with them.
Her room was right next to Sicheng, Lucas, Ten, Hendery, Xiaojun, Yangyang and Kun, in the left wing. Sometimes, when she go out to have a fresh air at night, she saw Kun and he will smile at her, somehow it made her feel welcomed here. But for a month living in this mansion, they never tried to approach her and it made her feel sad.
-
She woke up 2:00am in the morning, with a bad dream. She almost cried, but she don’t want to for that will make her feel more sad. She glance at the huge window she have in her room that faced the whole garden at the entrance of the mansion. The moon was shining and it was quiet and dark. It was like scenery in her own bedroom back home, but without the huge space and the grandeur of everything. She hug her knees that was covered by her cream comforter, she wanted to run away, but to who? No one wanted to engage a conversation with her no matter how much she tried.
Sicheng never glanced at her direction, only when their family had a dinner together, she saw him smiled and talk to her like a gentleman. She almost thought that he will take care of her and he will make her stay here so comfortable and welcoming, but she have learned that it was only a façade played by him to look convincing in front of her family.
She didn’t know what made her stand up, grab her comforter, pillow and go out of her room. She wanted to knock at Sicheng’s bedroom but she know better than waking him up and he will scold her for being so childish. Maybe she was just exhausted emotionally or maybe the lack sleep in these past few days that she walk to nowhere, passing door to door to she don’t know who owned those room, not until she saw the only room that has the lights still on peaking underneath the door.
She stopped in front of it and she didn’t think of knocking not until she realized that she already did and the click sound it made when it was opened by the owner.
“Oh… hi, how can I help you?” she was greeted by a shocked Jaehyun wearing a pair of gray pajamas. Jaehyun’s eyes were tired but the sleepiness was absent from it. He was trying to sleep for like an hour now by watching a movie but it was interrupted by a knock. She didn’t know what to say or why she was even there in the first place. She started to get shy when Jaehyun raised his left eyebrow waiting for her response.
“I-I… It’s—I’m sorry to interrupt you.” She avoided his eyes and tried to get out of there as much as possible but her feet was caught on the comforter she was holding. She stumbled forward when she was about to took her second step away from his doorstep and it was too late for Jaehyun to catch her.
“Are you okay?” Jaehyun immediately asked and he kneeled down to check her up but he was only greeted by her sniffing, crying face.
“I miss home.” It was somehow a relief to her to say it out loud. She was convincing herself in these past few days that she was now at the age when she need to be independent from her family and started to live by herself. It was hard to admit it but feeling homesick was eating her up in one month of staying there and letting it out to someone who she isn’t close with was not her main concern for now.
Jaehyun eyes soften when she cried softly. He did know that she was sad but he didn’t say anything. He noticed her attempts to approach each one of them but they all refused because of one reason.
She was so kind and they don’t trust easily.
They are still calculating her and observing if she was a bad person or not. Jaehyun really do want to talk to her, to know her but he was hesitant. She’s the soulmate of his bestfriend and he need to know her more, but now he regretted his decision. They can observe her behavior but they will never know what was in her heart.
“What’s wrong, why is our baby crying?” He sat in front of her and combs her hair. He never know the feeling of having a sibling. He grew up being an only child. He was not the kind of person to be protective on someone except from his soul brothers (the NCT) and his family, but when she entered to their lives, he couldn’t help but to think what if he have a little sister like her. He heard that she was at the same age like Mark, Lucas, Hendery and Xiaojun, but the boys are yet adjusting to have a female in their household.
“I miss my home. It’s so cold here. Nobody wanted me to be here anyway.” She talked between her sobs.
‘Everybody loves you here, we are glad that you are here.’
Jaehyun wanted to answer her. He wanted to tell her the truth. He was sure that he was not the only one who felt soft on her. Because if not, they will play pranks with her, but they didn’t. It was a sign that they respect her like he do.
But he didn’t know Sicheng, his bestfriend’s heart. They know the real Sicheng and the way he treat the important people in his life. He may be cold and have a sharp tongue but he was far from it when you became important to him. Sicheng may be sly to some people but he never lied to his family and to them, his brother. But the now was different. Nobody know how he would treat his soulmate. Jaehyun thinks that maybe, Sicheng himself didn’t know how to react too.
“You wanna stay with me tonight? We can put a pillow between us if you don’t feel comfortable.” Jaehyun didn’t know how to comfort someone especially a lady. He just sit there and listen to them but he wanted to do something good for someone like her. She was now their sister, the bride to be of his bestfriend, and he was thankful that someone so kind was meant to be for his bestfriend. She was caring and soft, perfect for Sicheng, someone who was having a hard time expressing his emotions.
She look at him hesitantly, like a child calculating her next move and she nodded in agreement. She didn’t think it was the best idea, and she was not the type of person to be this close to someone, given that it was a man and sleeping in one bed with him. But she was hurt and feeling so homesick. She wanted to hug her mother even though they are not the type of affectionate to their family members. She was never an affectionate person physically, but she badly wanted to hug someone and Jaehyun, he was the first person who showed her kindness.
He helped her to stand up and he guided her to his room. It was clean and minimalistic. White, gray and accented with black. A bed, keyboard and vinyl collections. He also have his netflix on in a mini projector he has and it was playing on the white wall as the screen.
“I can sleep on the floor. Thank you for letting me here.” She said with little voice. It only made him shook his head.
“You are sleeping in my bed.” He firmly told her peeling his comforter to make a space for her. She climbed at his king size bed and tugged her comforter and pillow. He arranged his pillows and he put a pillow between them before sitting at his side and put his comforter above his legs. His back was at the headboard and he look at her after continuing the movie he was watching.
“Try to get some sleep okay? I will just finish this and try to catch some sleep too.” His voice was soft and low. It reminds her of his father’s voice when he was singing a lullaby for her when she was hospitalized and couldn’t sleep. It was the first and last time he do that to her and she was still wishing for it to be happened again.
“Thank you, Jaehyun.” She whispered, hugging her pillow before she fell asleep. His soothing hand on her hair lulls her and Jaehyun smiled in return.
-
Jaehyun opened the fridge to look for something to eat but he found them bland for his tastebuds. It was Saturday morning and he didn’t have classes for today. He slept for 12 hours and was hungry but he saw none of the foods inside their six-door-fridge will satisfy his cravings.
“Umm, Good morning.” He turned his back to look at the small voice who greeted him. Y/N was holding a basket of apples and she put it down at the centre of the table. She was shyly smiling at him and he can feel that she was nervous of talking to him from the way she glanced at his face and down to the basket.
“They bought some groceries and I told them to get some apples because we ran out of it.” She tried to make a conversation but Jaehyun didn’t know how to react. They made an agreement that they need to observe her first for a month before deciding if she was someone to be trusted. He saw her picked an apple from the basket and she gave it to him. Her eyes was looking at him with pure innocence and it made him soft inside.
“You like apples right? I always saw you eating these every morning.” She hesitantly said. She waited for his response but he didn’t get the apples in her hand and just look at it like some kind of a strange object. Much to her dismay and felt rejected again, she was about to retreat her hand when he take the apple.
“Thanks.” He answered and she smiled a little. She rearranged the apples in the basket and get back to the kitchen to help the cooks for preparing their breakfast. It was enough for today, she said to herself. At least he didn’t snob her like the other times she tried to approach him.
Jaehyun was left there, standing like a fool with his pajamas and bead-head with an apple in his hand.
-
NCT mansion was woken up by a Taeyong shouting at the hallway early in the morning.
“WHERE IS THE PRINCESS OF THIS HOUSEHOLD?!” the members gathered around the dining table, still half awake and pouting when the leader called an emergency meeting.
“Maybe she’s just up early and walked in the garden.” Haechan told the older scratching his head for the interrupted sleep. He was clinging on Taeil who was clearly maintaining his sitting composure but deep inside, he was still in the dreamland.
“She always sleep and woke up same time and I knew that because I checked her before I sleep,for a month.” Taeyong nags like a mother whom you should not question when it comes to taking care of his daughter.
“What are you? A creep? Why are you doing that? “ Yuta said while buttering his croissant. He was always up earliest of them all and have his breakfast. He could say that to Taeyong because none of them knew that he secretly arranged fruits in a plate and orders the maid to give it to y/n for her daily dose of natural vitamins.
“She’s now living here and now she’s my responsibility. “ Taeyong pointed at himself and now pointing at the ground of the house. Taeyong never felt so cared for in his life. He was always seen as the leader, someone strong and protective so he hide his weaknesses, but Y/N saw it and she didn’t look at him as someone who was scary. She didn’t think twice and took care of him when he needed to. So Taeyong promised to himself that he will be the best brother for her. His protective instinct was always activated when it comes to her.
“What’s with the early bickering?” Jaehyun entered the dining hall and picked up one of the apples at the centre of the table. He was wearing his pajamas and clearly he just woke up from a deep sleep.
“Y/N was not in her bed. She’s missing.” Taeyong told him and he massage the bridge of his nose, the early migraine. Taeyong was thinking about her running away because of their cold treatment. He was sorry that they are bunch of people who could not express their emotions easily.
“Oh, her? She’s still sleeping in my bed.” Jaehyun answered in a matter of fact tone while taking a bite and munching his apple.
Everybody was now wide awake and looking at him in horror.
“SHE WHAT?” Taeyong, Doyoung and Kun shouted at the same time that made Jaehyun taken a back.
“Hyung, you can’t do that. “ Mark said and he also heard Lucas said ‘oh man, you didn’t’. Jaehyun look at them like he was out of his mind.
“Did you just thought that I did something to her? Really? She’s my bestfriend’s soulmate! You are all dirty minded!” Jaehyun defended himself and disgust was evident to his face.
“Why is she at your bed then? Jaehyun, we are bunch of wolves and Yuta is our leader. We can flirt and get what we want from anyone with two legs.” Johnny raised his eyebrow.
“Hyung, she’s Y/N. Do you really think I could hurt her?” Jaehyun was so frustrated at the older one. It was a relief that Sicheng was out of sight because he was a heavy sleeper and he didn’t know what could go wrong if he knew that they were talking about his soulmate.
“She was crying in the middle of the night when she knocked at my door. It seems like she doesn’t know what she was doing. Maybe because she was sad. So I offered my bed to her. We even slept with a pillow between us. And that’s all!” Jaehyun explained and it feels like he committed the most hideous crime of all time. He was being watched by 19 pairs of eyes with their arm crossed on their chest.
“You know, maybe we did took it too far. She was sad. She told me she miss her home and nobody wanted her to be here…” Jaehyun added with his sad tone. They are quiet for a minute. They all think that she’s wrong. They want her here. They understand her homesickness. When they reached by the age of 16, they started to live here, part of the training to be the heir of a huge empire. They all missed their home, the comfort of the four walls they grew up with, their normal life. And when she started to live with them, she made them remember that feeling of being home again.
When she got out and bought Haechan his favorite strawberry milk, Hendery’s banana milk and Chenle’s favorite ramen. She gave them that with a smile and told them she remember it when she heard them one night, bickering to each other who will buy those in the middle of the night.
When she saw Renjun painting at the garden of roses, she told him that it’s pretty and she was looking forward to his paintings in the future. When Taeyong hurted himself (which was a frequent event) she treat his wounds and told him to be careful next time. When she took care of Doyoung when he was sick, helping Jisung to his assignments, secretly accompanying Kun to his every night jogging (which Kun was aware of) and knowing Johnny’s coffee taste, they started to have a soft spot for someone so understanding and caring like here. She felt like home. She made them feel like home.
“Is there something wrong?” Their attention drifted from Jaehyun and now at the person on the entrance of the dining hall. She was still wearing her pajamas yesterday with her bed head and a concerned look in her face.
“I heard shouting upstairs, are you fighting?” She asked again and she look at Taeyong for answer.
“N-no. We are not. We’re just… discussing.” Taeyong defended and she walked towards them.
“Why are you all up so early? Didn’t some of you have classes today?” She said and almost half of them was startled and now running to their room to prepare for their class.
“Are you all fighting? Don’t fight…” she ask again with a soft voice and she sat down besides Yuta.
“No, we are not. Eat this, okay? I will take you out today.” Yuta gave the food he prepared to her and messed her hair giving her a tiny smile. She smiled at him and took the plate of fruits he offered. It was an odd feeling that she have now the attention of everyone.
“Sorry, we are not the most affectionate people you have met. We will try out best starting today, okay?” Taeyong softly told her. She look at her lap. She way flustered at their caring approach, far from how they act at the first time she live there.
“I thought you all don’t want me here.” She said with a sad smile. She was playing with the hem of her pajama top, refusing to look at the older’s eyes.
“No, we love you here. It was far from what you are thinking. We are just having a hard time expressing it.” Doyoung answered she returned his smile.
“Thank you.”
Somehow, knowing what they truly feel, it made her feel close at home.
-
( I will try to write what will happen to her and to Sicheng. You can request if you wanted a moment of Y/N with another member.)
pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k
summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?
You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it’s on the summer break, you’ll most likely agree with her. But it’s only the weekend, and you’ve been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.
With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It’s only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That’s right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor’s daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won’t even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.
Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.
yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd
You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It’s saturday, she’s probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.
y/n : running y/n : mum said i need to be giselle
You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother’s car.
The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.
yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle
You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing.
yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas’ 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square
You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it’s not like you hate it anyway. Lucas’ party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he’s a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you’re not even in the same grade as him, he’s one year above you and Yeri.
y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won’t let me drive his car
You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas’ house tonight, it’s a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It’s gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might’ve developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas’ closest friends, Xiaojun.
You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he’s usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas’ closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There’s also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won’t shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas’ party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you’ll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.
After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri’s right, it’s a funny weather to run. It’s windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you’re not really alone, who’s doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor’s child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn’t see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.
It’s not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn’t have anything to do?
yeri<3 : ok i’ll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight
You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It’s not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-
Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it’s pouring.
“Motherfu-” you let out a curse, you should’ve trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.
Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.
y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should’ve pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead
You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.
“Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?” a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky.
Oh boy. It’s Xiaojun. The boy you won’t shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.
You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn’t notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.
“No, of course! Take a seat!” you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it’s more like sweatiest not sweetest.
He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.
You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.
y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK
Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.
yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME
y/n : HE’s FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK
yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK
y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW
y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun
yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!
You swear you’re about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn’t really interact that much with him. But really? He didn’t even say a word when he sat, probably didn’t even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.
You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you’ll see him again tonight as Lucas’ house, right?
Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.
“Hey, I didn’t know you live in this neighborhood too,” he starts.
Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you’d probably have your own private island by now.
You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. “Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13.” you answer calmly,
He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”
Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god.
You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”
“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!
You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”
He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school’s choir, until he graduated.”
Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.
“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-
But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.
He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”
You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.
He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.
Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.
“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”
“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.
“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”
“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,
“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.
You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.
——-
It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.
The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.
You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).
Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.
“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.
You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.
Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.
Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.
“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.
Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.
But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?
You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.
“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.
“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”
Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.
Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.
After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.
Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.
Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.
—–
It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.
You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).
You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.
“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.
Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?
You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”
“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.
3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!
He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”
-
The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.
Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.
You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.
Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?
As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.
You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.
“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.
Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.
“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.
Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.
You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.
“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.
You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?
“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”
You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.
“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.
Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.
“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.
“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.
You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.
You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.
Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.
“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.
You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.
Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)
not knowing what to say isn’t a foreign feeling to you, yet when you come face to face with ten outside his apartment on this summer morning, you are almost too petrified to even string a sentence together
he’s really just……..leaving
ten shines a big smile and from the open door you hear kun’s exasperated voice asking why in the world ten is packing up his entire existence for a program that’s going to last two months
“you look nervous”
ten jokes first, running a hand through his dark hair which he’s spent the colder months growing out
“im the one going to a different country and yet you look like you might turn green”
his laughter tickles you and you force yourself out of the weird, frozen feeling, for his sake
“im not nervous - it’s just this is our first summer apart since what, highschool?”
ten leans against the frame of his door and lets kun scuttle past him with a scowl
yangyang and hendery bounce after him with ten’s insane amount of luggage
“yeah but it’s two months, not two decades. plus….you know how much ive always wanted to do this.”
right. and here you are being selfish.
“of course, i mean it’s literally the birthplace of ballet.”
“technically that’s italy, but france is a close second.”
“i hate you”
ten pulls you into his arms before you register that this is your goodbye hug
“i’ll miss you too.”
kun drives everyone to the airport, he complains and cries the most.
sicheng gives you a knowing look when ten takes your wrist in his hand and tucks your arm between his.
you ignore the look, and focus on ten. on him. and then - when the switchboard pops up his flight info - he gives a bubbly and excited
“ive gotta go!”
and then summer starts, just as he’s gone
“so when are you going to tell him you’re in love with him.”
sicheng brings the big gulp he stole from hendery up to his lips and you keep your eyes closed behind your sunglasses
“sorry, yukhei’s not my type.”
“you know im not talking about yukhei.”
you dig your fingers into the sand beside your towel, the beach is already so noisy so you pretend you don’t hear sicheng, but you still feel him looking.
you guess a part of it is true, you love ten. who doesn’t?
is that the core of the issue then, that ten is so available and loveable and charming, that it makes him also unattainable?
or at least, unattainable to you.
you hear your phone buzz inside your bag and sicheng is being dragged into the water by the rowdy rest of your friend group
it could be a text from ten?
your mind excites, but you put out that fire
it’s probably just spam.
ten does text and even video call the first two or so weeks while he’s away
you get blurry photos of food at cafes and the eiffel tower, random fancy looking dogs being walked on the small, cramped streets
ten’s connection is kind of bad - but he still gleams through the fuzzy facetime camera as he shows you around the room the dance academy has provided
pangs of his happiness and excitement seep into you
and then there’s the first sign of worry comes knocking and twirling through his door
a group of other dancers, all beautiful and strong, asking ten - from the limited amount of french you catch - if he’s done, they’re waiting for him to go to a show with them
ten gives you a scattered, quick goodbye. he says he’ll video call again.
all you get is an update text almost five days later that has no pictures attached just a;
im ok - by the way i totally miss eating hot chips with you at midnight. ive had like a banana smoothie and that’s it.
sicheng and kun are the first to pick up on the shift, you are quietly withdrawing to yourself
nothing makes you laugh
ten doesn’t reply to your question about what the paris metro looks like, actually he doesn’t even read it
kun nearly tugs hendery’s ear red when he shares a snap story of ten pressed cheek to cheek with his new dancer friends in front of the louvre when you’re in the same room
the thing is you are not jealous of any of them.
you don’t go around trying to find their facebooks, clicking on their instagram profiles, comparing you and them.
you are just sad to your bones that they will understand ten in such a way that no matter how long you two have been friends
you will never, truly know
“you’re his best friend”
sicheng reasons on the phone as you stare up at the wall above your desk, littered in old pictures and clippings and your gaze catches on the ticket stub from ten’s first-ever solo dance performance
it had been a talent show in highschool.
it had been the first time you saw ten perform outside the corner of his cramped bedroom or the glimpse you caught meeting up with him outside the dance academy
he’s in paris, he’s with people who love it so much more than i do - they love dancing like he loves dancing.
i cannot understand that.
“i think you were right sicheng.”
“im always right.”
i do love him. when am i going to tell him?
you hang up after sicheng has his i told you so moment and stare at your screen
a notification flashes across the screen and it’s a text from ten
the trains here are blue. i miss you.
you want to reply right away, so you open the message and start typing
i miss you too. actually, i think i finally understand why people who are in love are so hurt when they’re suddenly left without their other half and ten you are my o-
you delete the sentence and make a face
nice. i miss you too.
you don’t send it - or at least you forget to because your fingers are shaking and you exit out of the messaging app before checking
abandoning your phone, you turn on your side and stretch your hand out to reach the edge of the bed
there’s enough space between you and it for someone to fit, so you remember the countless times ten has laid there
smiling and laughing and tickling your face with his sleeping breath
you can’t even recall a conversation because there have been hundreds
suddenly you feel a warmth creep up your skin
hundreds of opportunities to tell him - and each time i chose to be a coward.
“you should write him a letter.”
“this isn’t a movie, what - you think im going to write a letter and he’ll jump on the first plane from france to come to my side?”
sicheng cocks an eyebrow as if to say it is a possibility
“no. im not writing a letter. i’ll suck it up and confess when he comes back.”
you somehow end up writing a letter.
maybe because you really do want to just send a long text spilling your mushy, soft, pink feelings
but you know that’s just not what ten deserves
he deserves (and you do too, but you won’t admit this) a face to face confession
so you start retelling the moments that flutter up in your heart whenever you think about him
how he makes the room brighter when he’s in it, how he dances with every bone, joint, muscle in his body - how he approaches it with no inhibition and true devotion that paints its way across his face when he practices, how he fits perfectly into the hole that grows more massive every day you don’t see him
standing there across the hall - coffee in hand, gym bag with his scuffed dance shoes
by the time you’re finished - the letter is longer than you imagine. there are parts crossed and scribbled out, repetitive thoughts, and stupid little comments and metaphors that compare ten to flowers or clouds or anything else pretty in nature
you cringe at yourself, but you do feel better
it could be your outline for when the time to actually tell him comes.
you shove the papers into an envelope, write ten’s name and the address of his parisian dance academy just for the irony
and then make the mistake of letting it sit on your desk
in a matter of days, it has been swallowed by a bunch of other papers and trinkets
and when you’re rushing around your room trying to get ready for another adventure to the beach - sicheng clinks the lollipop against his teeth and fishes it out - curious at the stamp
“do you want me to mail this?”
he asks and you’re trying to find those sunglasses you literally just bought and grumble that sure, whatever - you’ll meet him out by kun’s car.
halfway to the beach, you turn in horror from the passenger seat to look at sicheng in the back
your eyes like saucers and a tremor in a voice
“wait. what did you ask me back in my room?”
sicheng’s big smile is red from the candy, “your letter to ten.”
and there comes the second pang of dread and worry that takes the overwhelming shape of your summer
oh my god - oh my god - maybe the letter won’t even make it. i mean it’s a letter to france….it’ll take at least a month to get there. wait - it probably didn’t even have a stamp on it. oh god maybe the address was totally off and some poor stranger is about to be subjected to my very incoherent feelings…..
every day you look at your phone and there’s no texts or emails or anything from ten
his social media has gone quiet too
you throw your dignity down a well and ask all your friends if they’ve heard from him and they all scratch their heads and say no, it’s been maybe a week since they did
your stress then turns from your love letter to a possibility that ten is in trouble
he kind of thrives from attention so it is very weird that he’s so off-grid
you decide finally, on the day that it’s been exactly a month and one day since he was gone, to call
you hover over the facetime button - should i text him first?
with a yelp, you nearly drop and crack your screen when ten’s name flashes across the screen
you settle your breathing and tell yourself he hasn’t gotten the letter, there’s no way - since when has snail mail been efficient?
you answer and are about to ask what’s up when ten waves something into the camera
“i got your letter.”
maybe you go into rigor. because ten’s eyebrows knit and he asks if your connection is ok, you aren’t saying anything
you don’t know if it’s just because you miss him so much that you’re able to drag yourself back into consciousness or because you are curious, in the depths of your mind, what his reaction will be
“o-oh. right- i-”
ten frowns and you think it’s coming. the rejection is coming.
“is that why you didn’t answer my text? you sent the letter instead?”
“your text?”
“yeah, i said i missed you and you read it and never responded.”
a peek of a smile stretches on his pretty, bare face
“i never thought you were so romantic to send a letter.”
something burns on your skin but you just try to make sure your hand holding the phone doesn’t shake
“im not - i just, it was dumb sicheng said i should write it because - i don’t know. he’s the romantic, blame him.”
“you’re the one that said i could make a shy tulip open its petals with my laughter.”
“oh god”
that smile turns into a grin
“and that my dancing manages to cast a spell on you.”
you hide your expression by turning your face
“are you going to re-read the whole thing to me?”
“should i, you’re so poetic.”
“don’t make fun of me.”
your voice is serious this time, small and huddled, because you mean it
worse than being told he doesn’t feel the same is to be ridiculed for holding him in your heart like this for so long
“im not making fun of you, the letter is beautiful.”
you still can’t look at him, it’s so ten to be kind before he’s cruel
“i could never write something like that - so i thought i would just call you and say it.”
you don’t need to love song yourself into telling me you just see me as a friend
“i love you.”
your head whips back so fast your phone drops and you curse and ten can’t help but laugh
“sorry, sorry -what did you say?”
he runs a hand through his dark hair, the lighting in his room is dim and illuminates him perfectly
a large white t-shirt engulfs his slender shoulders as he sits up against the wall
“i love you. i know it’s corny to confess over facetime, but im guessing it’s more forgivable than text?”
a bubble bursts in your stomach and it makes you feel lightheaded and inhumanely blissful all at once
“i love you too.”
“more then friends right, because your letter had this part about kissing im very interested in.”
you bite back your lip and nod, both embarrassed that he’d bring that part up too but also seeing ten - your close friend, your secret love - talk about kissing you
makes some of the neurons in your body go haywire
“good, i seriously was scared you might have been pranking me with thi-”
“i would never. im not hendery.”
“oh how are they, ive been super busy with the practice for a review so i haven’t talked to anyone.”
another thing you love about him, he keeps everyone in. he leaves none of his friends behind. he pretends like he couldn’t have a care in the world, but he cares more than anyone else.
“he’s ok, he almost crashed kun’s car yesterday.”
ten shrugs, “expected.”
and like that - everything is still somehow the same. there is no awkward phase after you’ve talked about your feelings for each other at all.
because your love doesn’t come as a one hit punch because ten is beautiful, although he is to an unfair degree
it comes from the experience of being around him. having so much of him. maybe even getting a little addicted.
you do talk more on the phone, no more long pauses even though ten’s practices get more grueling and you tell him to take his time to rest
but he’s sweaty on the practice room floor - texting you - telling you everything is sore but the thought of seeing you soon makes it all better
it’s three days before ten is scheduled to fly back that he has his review and you are biting your fingernails waiting for him to tell you about it
when you get a youtube link at like three in the morning - you click it and someone has recorded ten’s performance
somehow, he looks more graceful than you’ve ever seen him
a new text comes in when it’s almost done
‘i think i did well - can i get a reward?’
'you’ll get a really good one when you’re home’
he sends a winking emoji and you can’t fall asleep after because you wonder what he’s expecting, you’d meant a kiss - had he meant more?
you wouldn’t mind that at all.
xiaojun is being pulled away from the conveyer belt by kun and hendery is asking sicheng for a sip of his starbucks as you all wait for ten’s plane to land in the airport lobby
you two have not told anyone - mostly because you know there will be endless questions you won’t have answers too and sicheng might literally never let you live it down
so you wait for ten to be here so you can suffer together
you see the gates from his flight open and sicheng mutters that you look like you’re going to pop like a goddamn balloon
for once in your life, you don’t snide back at him, folding your hands in front of you and tippy-toeing to see over the crowd
and then, like seeing him for the first time all the years ago when you first met, ten comes out
hendery and xiaojun try to go for a running jump, but the older members hold them back because everyone can sense whats coming
you dash toward him and ten doesn’t stay still either - you two collide so hard it almost hurts, but you don’t care at all
ten’s duffel bag falls over his shoulder and your hands are wrapped around his neck before he can even say your name
it’s a first kiss that couldn’t be more characteristically fit for you
sweet, big smiles tasted on lips, and interrupted by none other than your group of friends gasping in a symphony of shock
except for sicheng - he knew
ten tastes like you imagine he would taste, maybe because in smaller ways you’ve already had doses of the sunshine that radiates off him before
he keeps his hands wrapped around your waist as he looks down into your eyes
“mon amour”
“is that really all you learned in france?”
“ummm yeah, i don’t know how to say let’s get out of here and back to my place even though im pretty sure someone said that to me at some point.”
you pout, “don’t try to make me jealous.”
“never!”
ten chuckles as you press your face into his neck and hug him close
the only way you get pulled apart is because someone (kun) reminds you all you’re still at the PUBLIC airport
the drive back is a frenzy and everyone wants to know everything and not about just you two - because you’re “two” now - but about france and traveling and ten’s dancing
like you’d sensed - nothing has really changed
just this time, your fingers are locked in tens. and the warmth you longed for in silence is suddenly all out in the open.
funnily enough, you and ten don’t ever write letters to each other again.
ten just doesn’t like writing - it takes too much sitting down
and you are horrified everytime he fishes your love confession out of the memory box and dangles it above your head as leverage
it’s how he convinced you into adopting the first cat. now you two have three.
so when you and him are deciding the best way to let all your friends know about your upcoming event you cross out mailed invitations
“we can make an email list.”
your legs are thrown over his thighs on the sofa and he’s resting the laptop on you them
“let’s just make an instagram post: wedding in our backyard on thursday - you’re invited.”
ten pinches his nose
“we are not having a backyard wedding. we could not fit everyone in my dance company into it anyway.”
you play with your engagement band and sigh
“fine, fine. what about…..we just call everyone and tell them. if we call kun right now he’ll let all of the world know by the end of the week.”
ten agrees with a hum, but then starts typing and you lean over to see
“bulk wedding invites? you’re giving in?”
he closes the laptop and tosses it to the side, easily and gently pushing you down onto your back to hover over you with a small content sound
“i am. but we don’t even have to write the letters - some company will do it for us.”
his lips are inches from yours and all of a sudden you’re young again - waiting to kiss him for the first time at that airport
“you know we’ll still have to write vows right.”
he is about to kiss you, he’s so close and your eyes are closing
“i’ll just read your letter outl-”
“TEN NO!”
he laughs, laughs until he finally does kiss you and then laughs again when he pulls back - the overflowing amount of love that exists in that moment is potent
you tell him to get over that old thing, but he shakes his head
“never, when again in all the lives i live is someone going to say i could make a shy tulip open its petals with my laughter?”
“that’s the worst sound i have ever heard in my life.”
you stand up too fast from behind the counter and bump your head with an ouch before looking to see what sicheng is complaining about now
outside the window of the cafe, you see a group of laughing boys and the bright, loud dirt bikes they’ve started riding around town
the sound of the engines and skidding tires managing to make their way through the windows
you wipe your hand on the front of your uniform’s apron and shrug
“i think they’re kind of cool.”
sicheng swivels around on the creaky bar stool, a script open halfway through is laying beside his iced-coffee
“extreme sports is just the polite way to say hey, this shit will get you killed”
you roll your eyes and check the clock that hangs above the display of baked goods and menu - almost eight, so almost time to close
you point it out to sicheng who packs his things up, you go over to help an elderly regular clean up their table and when the customer leaves you tell sicheng he doesn’t have to wait up for you
he throws his bag over his shoulder and looks over his shoulder at the parked dirt bikes
“hey, if one of them bothers you when you’re locking up just call me.”
“im pretty sure they’re not even going to notice me.”
sicheng still frets as he slips out of the door
you hum as you fall into your end of the day routine. you’ve been working here part-time through university, but with summer coming around, you’ve come on full-time
it’s a lot of work for one person, but the boss trusts you like their own children, and you actually enjoy having the quiet responsibility of locking up
you sweep the floor, put away all of the left over food and milk in the fridge, check the register and print-out the sales for the day
your last task is to close all of the blinds, the cafe always has them up in the summer, the tops open to let a slight breeze in when it coasts by
as you go through each them, you finally reach the last one that faces directly out of the front of the cafe. out onto sidewalk across.
it’s right in front of the intersection where the sidewalk turns into the boardwalk, and there’s a bike rack and some parking spots
the dirt bikes have all been left there, tires soiled with wear and sand
beside one of the bikes, a sleek red bodied one with various silver accents, stands a lone figure
in the summer heat, he’s still got leather gloves on that clutch the matching colored helmet in one hand, long jeans and lace up heavy boots
the only breathable part of his outfit is the white tank top that clings to the obviously toned lines of his upper body
a silver chain hangs around his neck, the links look so small on his overall broad figure, but they still shine against his sun kissed skin
he chews on the end of a toothpick and staring -
you step back slightly - he’s staring right at you
something in your stomach feels off, the crossing wires of concern and shock tell you to enter a state of heightened awareness
scurrying back to your work, you tell yourself you are just seeing things. you should listen to sicheng, finish quickly and hurry home.
the summer sun is quietly being pushed out by the summer moon by the time you lock the front door of the cafe and drop the keys into your bag
you turn around and whisper a small - shit! - when the figure from before is still there
he’s probably waiting for his friends, but sicheng was all wound up about them so now i am to- oh wait i think he’s coming over here!
and you’re right, the figure looks both ways before he crosses the street and jogs easily up to you
suddenly your hand itches to fish those keys out of your bag because what can a guy (a very handsome guy, up close) on a dirt bike have to do with you-
“hi - do you work in the cafe?”
he asks, voice deeper than you expect, his eyes are large and the color of autumn chestnuts
“um-yes?”
he sees the way your shoulders are tensed and he immediately retracts himself a step backwards
he puts his hands up, helmet still in his right, “oh right - sorry to scare you, i was just asking because ive seen you around-”
something like a flush coats under his cheeks
“wait - that sounds weird too, i just meant to say that i think you’re - that i wanted to know your name is all….”
you blink, your shoulders don’t relax completely, but you can tell there isn’t any bad intent coming from him
“well, what’s your name first.”
he stands up taller and grins, white teeth almost blinding in the dusk
“wong yukhei! i came here for the summer with some of my buddies.”
he tilts his head toward the bikes and you nod, saying only your first name - sichengs cautiousness seeping into your own
yukhei repeats it, with an almost a bit of a goofyness in his smile when he does
“well - ill see you around then?”
you aren’t sure what to make of the situation, so you just shrug - “maybe?” - he seems satisified with this answer though, and crosses back to his bike
you don’t know why, but you feel embarrassed just standing there, so you shuffle your feet and start your walk home
at some point you turn to look over your shoulder, right at the corner that you have to take, but when you do - yukhei and his bike are gone
“really? see, this is why i should stay while you lock up.”
sicheng’s eyebrow twitches as you finish telling him what happened
it’s the next day, and it’s noon - right when the days get the hottest and most of the cafe’s customers are just coming in for the free air conditioning
“i don’t think he’s dangerous, i think he just wanted to say hi.”
you answer, fixing what must be the twentieth order for shaved ice-cream
the slices of strawberry fall gently onto the heap, and you place two pairs of the forks beside the dish
carrying it carefully to the pick up counter, you call out the order number and watch as a young couple - still dressed in their beach attire - comes up together, unable to break apart for even a second
you smile at them and return to sicheng, taking his empty glass and turning to fill it up with ice
“you can think he’s not dangerous, but any idiot who owns a death trap like a dirtbike-”
“sicheng, it’s like a normal bike but with an engine. it’s like a car but without the-”
“thesafety, without the safety. really - i didn’t think you’d be the type to be into bad guys like that.”
you make a pfft sound with your lips, filling the glass with water and setting it down beside him
“first off, im not into anyone - i talked to him once. and just because they like bikes, doesn’t make them bad - you’ve been reading too many of those cliché scripts.”
sicheng makes his own sound of disapproval, but takes the drink you offer and brings the straw to his lips
you get busy with other customers, at some point kun and xiaojun turn up and distract sicheng
the whole time you work, something in you keeps making you stop to look out of the window
last night, the row of bikes had been there, but now they’re gone - maybe they’re not coming into town tonight?
you reprimand yourself every time you do look, because really it is just like you said to sicheng - yukhei was just saying hi.
finally it’s time for you to close the cafe again
the only reason sicheng doesn’t stay is because kun drags him somewhere else and if there’s anyone more stubborn than sicheng, it’s the elder of the pair
you take your time - calling the boss to let him know you’re leaving
“did that group of loud boys wreck havoc again?”
“group of boys?”
“the ones on those bikes, not motorcycles the other ones-”
your hand gets a little sweaty as it holds the phone
“no, they didn’t come around today.”
“good. be safe going home.”
you think about the conversation as you subconsciously start walking after you lockup
there’s a way to get home that’s faster, and much safer, but there’s a longer way too - that has you walk most of the boardwalk
really, it’s still safe - because of summer the beach is as bright as a movie screen till midnight - but you avoid it for the crowd and the noise
your feet urge you to turn at your usual corner, but you don’t, you make way to the little stairs that lead from the sidewalk and onto the old wooden boardwalk
there are lots of people still about, packing their things up from their time at the beach or coming to stroll by the waves when the sand isn’t burning under their feet
groups of friends, smiling strangers, couples with kids or without
everyone is enjoying their summer, and you almost feel out of place because your summer is going just as you thought it would. completely uneventful. long days at the cafe, lonely nights in your room
“oh?”
you hear your name suddenly and turn your head left to see yukhei leaning against one of the benches
on the bench are what look like some of his fellow friends, some have those moto jackets you’ve only seen on tv hanging off their shoulders and others are drinking out of cups and swinging the keys to their bikes around their fingers
yukhei comes over to you and everyone in his crew throws a look over their shoulder
you blink when he stops in front of you - right, you think, he’s pretty tall
“are you getting off work?”
“yep”
“it’s really late, your boyfriend doesn’t ever walk you home?”
“boyfriend?”
you retort almost sarcastically, because where did the sudden idea that you - walking alone on a boardwalk made for summer romance - have a boyfriend
yukhei scratches the back of his neck and you notice some scrapes on his elbows
“oh there’s the guy - in the cafe with you all the time, he glares a lot - uh-”
“sicheng? oh no, he’s a friend.” you can’t help but chuckle “but you’re right he doesn’t smile often.”
yukhei seems to suddenly beam at the confirmation, which makes something inside of you feel a little warm, but awkward so you point to his injuries
“bike accident?”
he pokes at the yellowing flesh and winces, “yeah. but it happens a lot.”
“it seems like a dangerous sport, do you not mind getting hurt?”
the question is more curiosity than anything - you’re not trying to be mocking or even mean - and yukhei can tell from the way you’re still casting a concerned look at his other arm for evidence of any other “accidents”
“i mean i mind it, but i love it too much to give up”
yukhei laughs and it sounds nice, pleasant - people with good laughs tend to have good hearts
“and im not really good at anything else. like if i was to be a waiter in a cafe like you, id probably hurt myself a lot more than i do on a dirt bike”
you want to correct him, you’re technically not a waiter - but a barista - but you stop because you are slightly transfixed by the kindness that glows from him
you’ve never seen someone else radiate so……positively
suddenly one of his friends calls out his name, asks if he’s going to join them as they head back to get their bikes
yukhei looks at you before he answers - “i could walk you home, since it is late.”
“that’s ok, thank you for offering.” you push your hands behind your back a little as you tell him goodnight, before you’re a couple of steps away someone from his group shouts out
“yukhei’s not only good with dirt bikes - he’s a good kisser too-”
by the sound of it, yukhei jumps on his friend and tells him to shut up! you hear the aftermath of the scuffle, but don’t turn around as you giggle to yourself
a couple of times after that, you see yukhei simply in passing
sometimes you’re in the middle of your shift and he walks by the window with his friends, he looks up and sees you and waves - but he doesn’t come in
you wave back every time and a part of you pinches when he the door doesn’t open after
other times, you’ll see him after work - or you’ll hear his bike somewhere and he slows down to ask how work is before speeding off to catch up with friends
little bits and pieces of interactions, never anything more than that
you don’t really tell sicheng about it either, he grumbles enough about the noise they make and the other things he doesn’t like so you decide not to bother even though he’s a close friend
and the twilights of a little crush on yukhei are most definitely seeping into your brain
but everything changes when you find yourself closing the cafe after a super busy saturday, where you hadn’t been able to get everyone out until it hit past eleven.
the boss had thanked you profously and promised a good overtime check since you’d stayed so late
and you were too exhausted to be too mad about having to stay past your schedule
as you went through your routine, you nearly jumped from your skin when the door opened and you turned to explain - no really, you were closed now when you came face to face with yukhei
the side of his cheek is obviously bruised, scrapes that look like bad road rash cascade down past the angle of his jaw and onto his neck
he limps a little when he makes it across the doors threshold and you see dried blood on his knuckles
“yukhei?” you rush over and take him by forearm, making sure to hold onto the skin that isn’t covered in some kind of wound
“yukhei what are you doing here - did you fall off your bike, you have to go to a hospital now!”
not anywhere close to being a doctor, you can only prematurely tend to him with the cheap ass first aid kit from the kitchen
the entire time you keep saying that he has to go to the hospital
and yukhei mumbles that he doesn’t know where one is, his friends weren’t with him either - he got hurt alone - so he came to the only place that was close by and familiar
you look up at him - he’s sitting on the same bar stool that sicheng is usually in and you’re standing between his legs, bottle of ointment uncapped on the counter - bandages in your hand
“ok, ill take you - ill call a friend who has a car.”
“im ok.”
he lifts a hand and wraps it gently around your wrist. you can feel the wear on his skin from his leather gloves and old callouses from old injuries
he stares at you and the only light is from the kitchen, flickering on and off
“you’re not ok, you might have a more serious internal injur-”
“if i was bleeding inside, i would know.”
you frown, he says it like it has happened before - you wonder how many times has yukhei fell off his bike, or gotten hurt some other way - how many times has he done it alone
“fine, you don’t have to go now but go sometime soon. promise me.”
he looks at you, the autumn chestnut color you saw when you first met him is glazed now in a darker brown.
“ill promise you if you promise me something too.”
swallowing, you become acutely aware of how close you are - his knees are grazing either side of your thighs. your wrist is still in his lax hold.
you smell sweat, blood, and cologne on him. he smells the tiredness of your work on you.
“this isn’t a joke yukhei, i just want you to be-”
“i will go, i promise but promise me something too.”
“ok. ok fine, what? do you want free coffee or -”
“promise you’ll kiss me at least once before this summer is over.”
before you even realize it, you agree. simply because you want him so badly to go to the hospital, or at least that’s how you come to terms with it on your own.
you itch as the promise swirls around your head, even hours after you watched yukhei walk away from your front door - banged up and bruised and stilling insisting on walking you home
when you see sicheng the next day, you want to tell him about everything because your head feels like a tangled mess
but you don’t - you just pick at the strings of your apron, make drinks and heat up pastries
three days go by and yukhei doesn’t show himself anywhere. he’s not even in his group of friends who you see once again on the boardwalk one night after work
you somehow push past the nervous feeling and ask one of them where he is
“ah, his bike is all fucked up so he’s been mopping about it while it’s in the shop.”
“did he go to the hospital?”
the guy laughs, shakes his head - “knowing yukhei, probably not. but we haven’t seen him for a while either.”
you say thank you and turn to leave - you hear some kind of buzzing, some kind of mention of you and yukhei and what kind of ‘relationship’ you’re in - but you push past it
you don’t even know where he lives, let alone where he rides his bike so you can’t really go and check on him
you have to wait for him to come to you - that bothers you.
you stop and return to the group, who all simmer to silence when you come close again.
“where do you guys usually ride your bikes?”
you’ve never been this far up the beach, mostly because this part is relatively blocked off from swimming because of the high ridges of rocks and the part of the coast that disappears into the mountains
there’s a trail for hikers that leads off and into the trees, but you don’t go there - worried you’ll get lost without a map or guidance
yukhei’s friends said they mostly biked here - dirt bikes aren’t motorcycles you know that right babe?
you cross your hands over your chest - on your one free day of the week, you want to be splayed out on your floor under a fan. not looking for yukhei - someone who is practically a stranger to you
is he though? we might have talked less times than i can count on all my fingers but would i really call him a stranger?
you look around but it seems barren, almost eerily quiet and isolated
so when the loud sound of an engine roars from that opening into the mountains, you almost teeter back
with a flair of dirt and sand that flies toward you in a storm, you hear a bike rip down and into dune
the red bike strikes against the sizzling backdrop of the summer day and your eyes widen when you see it do a half-circle and come to a halt
yukhei pulls the helmet off and shakes his sweaty hair from his forehead - he looks over at you and you think you have lost the ability to speak
i know im supposed to be angry and concerned, but he looks so hot it’s almost unfair
the road rash on his cheek is healing better than expected, but his wounds are all still clear as day - scabbing as they heal
he doesn’t get off the bike - just looks at you and then beckons you over with a tilt of his head
you almost protest because you came here to be all strong willed and insist that he go see the doctor, also when did his bike get out of the shop?
but you bend to the command and make your way over
he kills the engine and stares at you - you stare back
“where have you been?”
“i went to the hospital like i promised.”
the sudden confession makes you drop your hands - “really! what did they say?”
“no internal bleeding.” he leans his body slightly over the side of his bike “told you id know if i was dying.”
“still, im happy you went. it’s better to be safe than so-”
he drops his helmet on the sand and your sentence cuts off with the sound
“so i kept my promise, do you want to keep yours now?”
don’t be silly, im not kissing you - you don’t even like me and i don’t -
all the excuses in your brain just get lost in the jumble that’s already made a home up there, so you just decide that fine. you will keep that idiotic, dumb, heat of the moment promise.
you grab yukhei by the sides of his tank top, starling him as you push yourself toward his mouth
using the leveraged grip you let your hold relax only enough so that you can dig your nails through the fabric and into the skin of his ribs
yukhei makes a growling noise into your mouth that is somehow more sweltering than the summer sun
he cranes his neck slightly so when you run your tongue across the slip of his lips he can easily grant you any of the access you require, one hand goes up to grip the back of his neck
he takes one hand from the handles of the bike and slips it to the small of your back - then up between your shoulder blades as he pushes you closer
it’s supposed to be one kiss. one little, flimsy kiss, and yet the attraction you feel between you two is so charged that you cannot stop
you only break back to see if yukhei feels the same thing, and it is written all over his face, he does
that and the way he tells you to step back as he gets off the bike, it falls to the sand and you start to ask why in the world he’s so careless with everything when he just wraps you up in his arms and starts kissing you again
“i wont be careless when it comes to you”
his mouth is magical, even more so as it drags down to your neck and the layer of sweat between your bodies is threatening to turn to fucking cement and keep you stuck in this embrace for the rest of eternity (not that either of you would mind)
but it’s so hot and you are not about to fall back on this sand - so you somehow manage to tell yukhei to meet you later tonight
“want a ride home?” he pants, but you unglue yourself from the plane of his perfect chest and shake your head, “meet me at ten.”
yukhei is there on time. he didn’t bring his bike, which is a good idea considering the noise it would make, he looks so sweet when you come downstairs and he asks if you want to go on a date
a date, like go get dinner if you haven’t had any or play boardwalk games until midnight
you say yes. just not tonight
yukhei’s look of childish confusion makes you laugh as you take his hand and lead him back inside.
sicheng might have warned you about yukhei being “bad”, the only little problem is you might have always been the “bad” one all along
with how big, strong, dirt biking yukhei looks up at you with absolute awe as you forgo chitchat over shared ice-cream and push him down onto the sheets of your bed
in the morning, you have to go to work and yukhei has to leave through the window, but you kiss him one last time and he mumbles he’ll meet you after your shift
“now i do have a boyfriend to walk me home, huh?”
you giggle and yukhei nearly trips over himself at the word
you do let yukhei take you on a date, of course you do - and it’s as soft and sweet as you expect because yukhei is the opposite of what he looks like at first glance
all the bruises, all the confidence, all the arrogant handsomeness that is ingrained in his perfect features is just a cover. he’s a big teddy bear.
refusing to let you pay, giving you his jacket, offering to come over early and help you lock up
holding your hand gently, kissing your forehead when you complain about dumb customers, the absolute sugary-sweet pillow talk that sometimes makes you feel like you’re in a hallmark movie romcom
when sicheng catches yukhei with a hand around your waist on the boardwalk - he nearly calls the police, but you explain everything - sans the more intimate details and it takes a long time for sicheng to accept it but
you are happy, god you are so happy it is pouring out of you - especially when you are with yukhei
even your boss warms up to him (only him, the rest of his buddies are basically barred from coming into the cafe)
and yukhei, when you see him with others, it’s obvious that he is an extroverted charmer - one afternoon he helps you with orders and when he returns, the receipt is covered in numbers
of course - he crumples it and tosses it into the garbage as he lets a secret hand sneak up your shirt behind the shield of the counter
and then, the summer is whisking away, and you feel the first kisses of autumn when yukhei is helping you steady yourself on the dirt bike - even though you refuse to actually ever ride it
you shiver at the breeze and yukhei feels your goosebumps under his fingertips
“hey, are you going to leave once summer is over - i know you and your friends are just staying here because it’s a great place to bike but-”
he leans down and buries his face in your hair
“why, you gonna miss me if i leave?”
you reach behind you to try and flick him, but he dodges
“i just wanted to know - if i should get ready for heartbreak or-”
“don’t ever say that, i would never hurt you.”
his tone drops and you know he’s being serious
“i love you and im not going anywhere.”
he helps you off the bike and then pulls you into his arms
“promise?”
you whisper, but yukhei hears it and you feel him nod
“promise.”
a couple of years later, you hear a loud sound from the living room and rush out to the garage
you see yukhei rubbing his head - wrench in one hand and a broken looking bike on the floor
“what happened?!”
“i didn’t put the kick stand down all the way so it toppled over”
you kneel down beside him and examine him for any wounds,
yukhei watches you and the concern that is always so bright and tender in your eyes when it comes to him
you turn his hand over to make sure, the engagement band on his finger catches the light as you do
the matching one on your hand feels cool against his skin.
“you’re so careless, seriously!”
you puff your cheeks out and chide him with all the love, he smiles back and leans in to kiss your frown
“true, but im never careless with you.”
you roll your eyes, but it’s true - ever since he first said it till now.
you stare up at the ceiling and don’t move an inch from the comfort of your bed until the knock comes again. and again.
with a groan you roll off your sheets and compose yourself before walking over and pushing your curtains aside
on the other side of the window is kun
standing god knows how on the side of the second story of your house and you cross your arms
he motions for you to open the window and you shake your head
he rolls his eyes and somehow the little gesture ticks you off to no end
who does he think he is? always being so rude, even when he needs me to do something for him!
he motions again and you try not to look at the strong line of his arms - he’s wearing a sleeveless tank and jeans which really? how athletic is he climbing in those thing-
you sneer but you give in, undoing the latch and pushing open the window
stepping back, kun climbs through without a hitch and once he’s standing on the carpet of your bedroom you look up and start
“i was about to go to sleep what are you doing her-”
“where’s your cousin?”
he doesn’t even look at you.
in fact, he looks over your shoulder at your door that’s closed
“he said to meet him before we both sneak out, but that dumbass could have just met me at the party himself.”
you uncross your arms and instead curl your fingers into fists at your side
“so why didn’t you sneak through the guestroom window asshole -”
“don’t know which window is the guest room. i just knew this one was yours because of the childish curtains.”
he gets under your nerves. he really does. he has since you meet him as the naïve new kid at your towns middle school
and he - he was the ever so perfect at everything upperclassman.
that hadn’t changed much now - as you got older you came to understand that kun could do no wrong in the eyes of everyone BUT you
your parents thought he was the shining example of a young man, your friends all wanted to date him, and now even your cousin who was staying with you for the summer was impressed with him.
they’d met at the party you had thrown to welcome your cousin and how kun even got there - you don’t know - but he’d shown up with sicheng and ten
and then was talking to your cousin and everyone and making you irritated the entire night ……. and yet ………… here he was now
sneaking out with YOUR cousin to go to another party. who’s party? you didn’t know - your own damn cousin had invited KUN and not YOU
you don’t want to bite your tongue anymore - you want to start mouthing off on him just like he thinks he has the right to do with you
but if you raise your voice, you’ll wake your parents and you have the sinking feeling that if they walked in on this scene
they might not be as angry about it as other parents would be……you cringe, thinking about how your mother had once inquired you if kun and you were considering being more than friends.
you look up at him now. more than friends? he’s going to be my enemy till i die.
you think your worry comes to life when your door opens and you turn so fast in fear of seeing your parents actually standing there, but it is just your cousin
who grins at kun and pushes past you like you’re a ghost in your own room
“ready to go dude?” he asks and kun suddenly takes this moment of all to look at you
he makes a noise of agreement, but he keeps his line of vision on you. it makes something crawl up your skin. creep, don’t look at me like that!
it only lasts a split second, before both boys are using your window to sneak out into the sticky summer night and you’re rushing over to shut it.
before you do - you watch them disappear out of the backyard - two figures in the moon.
you huff, reaching for your curtains and you don’t notice kun look back.
this keeps happening.
sometimes kun does come sneaking back through your window (he says he can’t get the guest room one where your cousin is - there’s nothing for him to climb up on that side of the house) but rather than just that
kun just keeps appearing around you
he’s at the same parties, he’s at the same park, he’s at the same beach. the town has never felt smaller and your cousin is the reason for it all. he drags kun everywhere - like they’re the bestest of friends.
they’ve known each other for like two or something weeks…..can’t they find other people to hangout with! maybe i should just stay in my room from now on-
you turn off the shower and try to erase the thought from your head. you wrap a towel around yourself and scurry down the hall back to your room where you shut the door and sigh.
he annoys me so much that my brain can’t help thinking about him when it should just be trying to throw him out of my he-
your shoulders tense when you hear a familiar sound at the window.
no fucking way
the curtains are drawn back now and through the glass you see the familiar outline of kun’s figure
you stomp over - you’ve been boiling over his constant presence and you think fine, he wants to come into your room, you wont let him until he hears what you really think
so you yank the window up, but not enough for him to climb through
“hey i can-”
“kun, i know everyone thinks your gods gift to this earth but what would they think of you trying to sneak into my room through the goddamn window at midnight? huh? can’t spend your summer doing something better than bothering me? that’s what the prince of this little town does - peep through wind-”
in the heat of the moment you throw your hands up to the glass of the window and the towel ……. drops
you probably wouldn’t have even noticed - how wound up you’ve gotten - but kun
kun nearly falls straight off the side of your house and you can see the panic reflected in his eyes flash so you yank the window up and instead of letting him fall backwards
you pull him in and ontop of you
the two of you topple over onto your carpet - the thudding sound resounds and kun catches himself on his arms so his weight doesn’t crush you
you stare up - that flash of panic is still in kun’s eyes and for a second you try to figure out why when you feel the summer air gust through and all over your exposed skin
you scream, because what else can you do, and kun pushes himself off you
you reach for the towel pooled beside you and wrap yourself back up - getting to your feet with wobbly horror and staring at kun who is sitting back with that expression stil on his face
it doesn’t last long though because you hear someone pull at your doorknob - your mothers voice coming from the otherside
kun falls back and rolls himself under your bedframe - just in time for the door to open and your mother to rush in with worry laced in her voice
“what happened?”
qian kun just saw me naked!
“i- i though-i thought i saw something in the window im fine, really!”
your mother pries but you push her back toward the door gently, assuring her that it was probably an owl or a racoon in a tree. really.
she touches your shoulder and says to call her if you need anything. you close the door again and listen to her footsteps down the stairs.
you breath in and turn around - kun has gotten out from under the bed and is now standing at the corner of your bed looking more lost than you’ve ever seen him in your life
no snarky remarks, no stupid smug look on his face
you feel angry. you still feel all pissed off from before, but now there’s something else coursing through you.
shame.
“get out”
you grit your teeth.
“i - i would never-”
“get out kun, seriously.”
he stumbles, no confidence and no superiority, just an almost wounded like stride as he reaches for the window again.
he looks over his shoulder and you brace yourself - with him, he could look sad all he wants but you know deep down he could say something so cruel right about now-
“im sorry.”
you clutch the towel
sorry for what? for being better than me at everything? for having to see me at my most vulnerable when all i ever see you at is your best?
you think - or at least you assume you think this - you don’t realize you’ve said it out loud
kun stops and swallows, “im not the best at anything. im a horrible liar you know.”
“what?”
the towel should be soft, but it feels heavy, like a lifeline you’re gripping but that just gets harder and harder to keep close
kun pushes his lower body through the window and then looks at you one final time
“im a horrible liar. the reasons i even- the reason im always around you isn’t because of your cousin. it’s because i want to be near-”
you don’t hear the last word because he disappears right after that, you stand in the corner of your room, he wants to be near what?
you look at the shut door, the mirror hanging on the back of it, and your reflection
did he say he wants to be near me?
you don’t really go anywhere for a couple of days after that.
your cousin is always out, but you don’t even want to go see your friends. you just know that that will risk seeing-
something knocks against your window and you look over, a new feeling swelling in your chest that isn’t like that dread you’ve felt before
but instead of kun’s figure - you just see the raindrops that are accumulating on the glass
a heavy summer storm brews up outside and you think it’s ironic. your brain feels like it is going through a tornado of its own.
you walk toward it and think it would be nice to feel the rain though - to touch something outside of room and when you open it you do see something
you see someone in the backyard
“kun?”
you’re rushing out on the grass - barefoot and wrapping your arms around yourself in the wind of the rain
“kun why are you here - my cou-”
“im here to see you.”
you don’t understand - and then a strong chill that doesn’t come from the storm runs up your spine - he’s here to make fun of me isn’t he? mock me?
“listen, i don’t want to hear it from you of all people - you saw me naked for a second and you have no right-”
“its you. im always here to see you. do you understand?”
he’s talking over me - like usual - but why is his tone-
“excuse me? understand wh-”
the rain gets heavier and you cannot believe you’re about to do this but you’re getting soaked and so is kun and so you point to your window
“meet me up there.”
you don’t know why you invite him. you expect the worst and you expect to get hurt and made fun of it. but you do it anyway.
part of you is saying it’s because you want to pick a fight - but another part, quieter and that’s been dormant for a while says no, it’s because you might think you hate kun but you aren’t going to let him stand out in the rain any longer.
you wish you could tell this part to shut up and go away, but you give into it every time. especially, it seems, when it comes to him of all people.
kun looks displaced again in your room - he usually sneaks through and acts like he owns the place - but this time he’s back to this awkward atmosphere
you feel sick thinking about how you kind of wish you had the other side of him back
“so why are you here kun, really. it’s embarrassing enough for me that you saw me-”
“im sick of lying.”
you blink, looking at him more seriously
“lying?”
“your cousin is fun and all, but cmon - you said it yourself. everyone expects the best of me, why would i spend my summer partying around the town. do you think i like it?”
speechless you don’t say anything in response and kun continues
“it’s just, finally i had an excuse good enough to be around you. to sneak up through your window, to hangout with the people you are friends with, to see you. otherwise - i never get a chance to-”
he looks different tonight, maybe because he’s drenched with rain, but he looks more like the kun you’ve known for years
put together, serious, he even has his glasses on tonight which shocks you more than anything because ever since the summer started - ever since he’s been around your cousin - he seems to have ditched them
you think slowly the pieces are coming together in your head about what point kun is making
it creeps in and you think shock is going to overcome you when kun confesses - with none of that bravado he seems to have adapted -
“i just know you hate me and without a good reason you would never let me near you so i - i just did the one thing that meant i could be close to you, because i dont hate you, i really like-”
you take a couple of steps toward him, closing your fingers around his face and you hear kun’s breath hitch up
you pull him down and toward you and just as you’re about to brush your lips against his - you instead pull him into a tight hug
you bury your face in his chest. his hands stuck stiff at his sides
“im not going to kiss you until you promise me one thing kun”
you can feel his heartbeat and yours, both rushing - louder than the thunder outside
“wh-what?”
“if we do this - whatever this will be - you have to promise you’ll still hangout with my cousin. he really thinks you guys are best friends.”
after a bit of a pause you feel his chest rumble with laughter
which you take offense to as you pull out of his arms - “hey don’t laugh! im being seri-”
“this is why i want to be near you by the way.”
he looks at you and for the first time it isn’t cold or accompanied by a sneer, the warmth in the deep browns almost makes you coy
“the guy you’re enemies with tells you they like you and you go ‘whatever, just keep being nice to my cousin’.”
you cross your arms, “family before boyfriends.”
kun cocks an eyebrow, “boyfriend? you move fast.”
“qian kun you’ve seen me naked. you better be ready for commitment.”
he loops his hands around your waist and you yelp a little at the sound contact - hugging and all is one but now he is pushing you up and against him
“im ready for anything if it means i can see you naked again.”
after that - everything shifts
naturally it does, you do start dating the guy you swore you’d hate till you died but that’s not the only thing
you are also dating the most sought after guy in your town and while most of the other people your age go green with envy - your parents and cousin (surprisingly) are over the moon
your parents you get, but you thought your cousin would hate the idea - when infact he confesses that he’s happy you like kun now - you all three can hangout easier for the rest of his summer here!
you’re all having dinner one time and your mother asks what made you finally realize you liked kun
you fluster, and kun quips that he just had to sneak through your window a couple of times to end up sneaking into your heart
your parents laugh - oh qian kun would never sneak through a window, only bad boys do that!
you almost choke on your peas
you won’t lie - you have insecurities and worries in the beginning, kun could still be pulling a fast one on you. or maybe you two just will never get over the competition between each other.
but that all proves null, you and him can be sarcastic and joke around all you want it doesn’t stop the feelings that grow tenfold through the summer
that feeling that when you are with him, there isn’t anyone else around
and kun really is the best at everything (you don’t say it out loud though)
but he does have the looks, the brains, the popularity and boy does he know what he’s doing with those hands of his
safe to say that he might have seen you naked first but you definitely saw him as well
you joke about it and your cousin is like ok. nevermind. this relationship between yall is GROSS jkjk
and then - like all things, summer ends, and your cousin is back off to his hometown
and when you’re saying goodbye - he goes up to you and leans in to whisper something so no one else hears
“that’s not going to happen!”
you exclaim when he leans out, but he just shrugs and says “just promise you will.”
so you do promise.
when you comeback to join kun he asks what the promise was about and you roll your eyes, muttering that it’s unrealistic so it doesn’t matter.
the only issue is - it is very realistic
because ten years later you are sending out invitations to you and kun’s wedding
he’s sitting at the dinner table beside you and watching you handwrite the notes, cutely testing out your cursive
he teases your mistakes and you swat at him, he leans down to kiss the side of your cheek when he looks at the invitation in your hand
it’s addressed to your cousin and kun reads it out loud:
“hey cousin, im keeping my promise from the past - the promise that id invite you to me and kun’s wedding.”
kun looks at you and you can’t believe the look makes you blush - even as a damn adult
kun keeps reading;
“and the other promise - that ill dance with you right after i dance with kun.”
kun chuckles, “you might not keep that one - because im not letting anyone else dance with after me. you’ll be mine that night.”
you scrunch up your nose, “dummy - ill be yours forever.”
kun says and you shrug your shoulders, bringing the straw of your milkshake to your lips
“you’re the one who taught me it’s always good to plan in advance.”
“you don’t need a month to plan a birthday party, plus its xiaojun - not ten - who would probably insist on a whole gala.”
ten throws a look across the table but doesn’t dispute this fact
you tap your fingers on your drink and set it down to mumble something about how fine, you’ll do it yourself if they don’t want to help
it takes two seconds for kun to give an exasperated sigh after that and agree to help you after all
you smile and tell him you knew he would, he’s too much of a micromanager to refuse
ten laughs and sicheng smirks as he doesn’t look up from his phone
kun gives you the same look ten gave him a minute ago
you’ve been friends with xiaojun for a good year now
ever since he nearly lost bella when she got off her leash at the local park and you bolted after her like any good citizen would before she could wander off into the street
xiaojun and you have gotten closer
you kind of get him in a way that not a lot of people do
his humor can be kind of dry, and he tends to be picky about certain things
you’re exactly the same way so you never really get mad about it - you both have come to learn the things you dislike and like about literally everything
being friends with someone who is as particular about movie popcorn and indoor room temperatures is a blessing more than people might think
the other members see the similarities between you two and more often than not they’re happy that xiaojun, who can also be kind of reserved around strangers, has found someone that makes him so comfortable
everyone in their apartment is a character from hendery to yangyang but xiaojun meshes best with you
so it’s kind of no surprise that even after a short time of being friends, and most of that time spent around the others
you two start getting the off-handed “you’re so alike, why don’t you just date?”comments
hendery is the first person to say it after you guys spend hours playing video games together
you and xiaojun are so in sync about everything that the rest of the team feels like you guys have to be playing together when in reality you’re not even in the same room
the immediate response is for you to cackle into your headset microphone and for xiaojun to let out a high-pitched, almost theatrical ‘never!’
it passes over your heads and nothing changes
but then everyone seems to be saying it
“only you two can put up with each other.”
“have you ever considered being more than friends?”
“oh you’re 'hanging out’ again or are you just actually going on a 'date’?”
the words are supposed to carry absolutely no weight
but at some point when someone says something you end up looking at xiaojun out of the corner of your eye for some kind of response that isn’t just a staunch and straightforward
“never!”
it somehow also manages to get worse the month you’re planning for his party in secret, both the teasing questions and your weird hope that xiaojun will one day say something different
nearly everyone knows you’re trying to put this thing together but him and maybe that’s why they tease
or maybe it’s because xiaojun only ever seems fully himself when you’re beside him
the way the tension in his shoulders falls completely to pieces when you topple over to spread out like a starfish on his sheets
the way the look of complete boerdom on his features shift around and up into a smile when you open the door holding your favorite cold drinks from the bubble tea place next door
the way xiaojun has never let someone close to him like this before - the way he lets you get cloes.
doesn’t flinch when you lean over to brush an eyelash from his cheek, seems totally content with having you put a hand on his knee when you’re all seated around the table and arguing over who goes next in this game of monopoly
it’s a couple of days till the party and you are standing in the parking lot of the apartment building xiaojun lives in, you both have run away from the noise of his roommates
“hey, what do you want for your birthday?”
you feel hot when you ask - and it’s not just because of the summer weather
xiaojun’s head tilts as he says he hasn’t thought about it
“actually, i’d love it if everyone got off our backs with his 'dating’ crap.”
dating crap
“do you hate it that much?”
“it just feels like they’re taking it too seriously.”
you run your tongue over your teeth and the unusual pause makes xiaojun narrow his eyes, in the evening darkness you think maybe he won’t notice the confusing expression on your face but he does
“did i say something wrong?”
it’s almost like he’s poking at the sleeping giant question that you both are too nervous to actually ask - do we like each other in a way that’s more than just friends? is everyone just pointing out the obvious?
“no, i just got lost in my thoughts for a second.”
your mouth feels dry when xiaojun looks like he’s going to step closer to you but doesn’t
your saving grace is hendery’s head popping out over the balcony and yelling for you two to get back inside before the mosquitos eat you alive
xiaojun holds the door open, but you tell him you need to go home early
that night you look at your checklist of things to do for his birthday
you’ve already sent out invites, you put in the order for the cake, and you got all the decorations
two things are left, pick up cake and snacks and get present
“dating crap”
you say out loud to yourself and for some reason, it hurts in your chest. you decide you’ll just get xiaojun some kind of giftcard, maybe so he can buy more games.
“dude, xiaojun is like a cat.”
kun says and you try to balance the cake in your hands as you two make your way to his car
it’s the day of the party, kun is lugging bags of snacks and you’re thankful that the cake has xiaojun’s name on it spelled correctly, but something doesn’t feel celebratory about all this
the excitement of making xiaojun happy has turned to anxiety ever since your talk in the parking lot
dating crap, dating crap, dating crap - did i say something wrong?
you squeeze the thought from your mind and look at kun with your brows furrowed
“what?”
“he’s like a cat ok, he’ll never show how much he wants something until he gets it.”
it’s cryptic and you tell kun you don’t know what he’s talking about, the cake is cold even through the bag it’s in as you place it on your lap in the passenger seat
kun sighs as if he knows you’re just being difficult
“sure, anyway xiaojun will be back to the apartment at seven so we should have enough time to set everything up.”
at a red light, just as you’re deep in mixing thoughts about xiaojun and your feelings and his feelings and how you sometimes get embarrassed seeing him walk around shirtless or eating from the same plate as him
kun goes, “by the way what did you get him as a present?
"oh a giftcard for games.”
kun taps his finger against the wheel
xiaojun is actually surprised when he walks through the door and you all jump up with balloons and cheers and brightly colored party hats
he immediately looks at you in the crowd and asks
“you did this all for me?”
your heart threatens to jump up and out of your chest because he should look normal like he always does
but he’s standing there with his grey t-shirt and silver chain looking like a sculpted masterpiece bestowed on you from heaven itself
god, i have it bad.
“we did it together!”
“nah it was like all them!”
hendery counters your modesty before throwing his arms around xiaojun into a half tackle hug
the party is like … any other party
kun was kind of write, you didn’t need to take a whole month to plan, but you’re glad it is all going smoothly
people are enjoying the food, people are playing the usual games and chitchatting and summer is wafting in from the open balcony door
the pets are scampering around from lap to lap and someone has put on music that’s upbeat but not ear piercing or distracting
xiaojun is being passed around for presidents and hugs and congratulations for another year of his life
and you are in the kitchen constantly putting new bowls of chips out, busying yourself with your hands to fight this weird churn of your stomach
xiaojun looks so handsome i could be sick. i want all of his attention but that’s such a horrible thing to think - this is his party, this is literally. his. party.
someone taps your shoulder and you half expect it to be another person asking where the dip is when you turn to see xiaojun
“thank you so much”
his voice is softer than usual
“oh don’t thank me, it’s your birthday, it’s the least i could do.”
“i guess when i said i don’t want a present you went with a party which is so sweet and unexpected.”
the compliment goes over your head because the mention of that conversation has you thinking about it again.
dating crap. did i say something wrong - you feel cold in an apartment of packed bodies - it’s like he was saying i don’t like you like that. i don’t love you.
“a-ah, yeah. i did also get you a present.”
you fish the gift card that was put in a pretty envelope by the employee out of your pocket and hand it to him shyly
“i know it’s not much-”
“no, you know me so well. you know i wanted to get all those new skins and stuff.”
he’s gripping the cup of soda in his hand unusually tight, you try not to notice the way it makes the veins that run up his forearm stand out
“xiaojun!”
someone’s attention is needed and he disappears with a little smile. the conversation feels so stoic. it doesn’t feel the way you and him talk.
and then somehow you end up in a circle on the floor with bella in your lap playing truth or dare
it’s a birthday party in a huge apartment, so it’s bound to reflect some of the traditions of high school
also hendery got too excited about playing it and no one wanted to say no
everyone starts off the way these things always go, embarrassing borderline comedic dares. stupid truth questions so that roommates can out other roommates for their mistakes.
you laugh a lot, you notice xiaojun keeps looking at you
then it gets to the birthday boy himself and hendery’s big white grin kind of scares you
“so xiaojun, truth or dare?”
“truth”
a loud ringing of 'oooh’s’ plays through the walls and you swallow
“is it true……….you aren’t romantically interested in your best friend?”
all eyes turn to you and then xiaojun
bella whimpers in your lap like she’s sentenced the shift, she hops out and stretches before finding a corner somewhere else - you wish you could find a corner somewhere too.
xiaojun’s face is unreadable, you haven’t touched any alcohol all night but your vision feels fuzzy
“no. we’re just super close friends.”
the smile on hendery’s face falls and the crescendo of your heartbreaking thumps through your ears so much that it physically hurts
someone coughs and clears their throat
you don’t even register what you’re doing as you’re doing it, don’t hear xiaojun say your name or the hard thwack of kun’s hand on the back of xiaojun’s shoulder
“are you insane, why would you say that when you don’t mean it?”
the question floats from someone’s mouth and it’s not yours and you don’t stick around to hear xiaojun’s answer
you only navigate yourself up to your feet and out of that apartment because your body puts autopilot into flight mode
you’re maybe two blocks down the street when something warm wraps its arms around you
you don’t move - your eyes are fixated on the asphalt
“im so stupid, im sorry.”
xiaojun’s voice breaks in a way you’ve never heard before
“you’re not stupid for not liking me back.”
your voice sounds flat in a way you’ve never heard before too
the arms around you drop and you start to move forward again, still wanting to get away from him and everyone else
“no. i mean im stupid for lying.”
you stop
“i thought you didn’t want me to be interested in you like that and then kun said that’s the dumbest thing he’s ever heard because you obviously-”
xiaojun can’t say the rest of the sentence because he’s waiting for you to confirm
kun is always right about so many things, when he’d said xiaojun is like a cat, you get this is what he meant
“that i obviously am in love with you?”
you hear the sigh escape from xiaojun before you turn full around
when you do xiaojun nods, opens his arms again and you have never felt more fit for a place than when you tuck yourself into his chest and he buries his nose into your hair
“you’re so bad at truth or dare”
you muffle into his shirt and he laughs, squeezing you closer
you don’t mind the way you stick to each other under the glaring heat of the last summer month’s hold
of course you come back to the apartment and everyone looks like they’ve just been saved from drowning in the titanic
the birthday party goes to a congrats-on-finally-confessing-your-feelings-you-two-idiots party
and for all the time you two spent apart that evening, you’re now glued to xiaojun’s side and it finally is in a way that lets your fingers brush and hold onto each other
in a way that lets him turn his head to kiss your temple when he’s had enough of the conversation or argument his other roommates are in
you refuse to let him clean when the party is over - he is the birthday boy - but he does it anyway
you get some alone time on the balcony again and you kiss some more, all shy and new and tender
but xiaojun’s hand finds your hip and you stammer against his mouth
you want to stay over but literally everyone is home so you peck xiaojun on the lips and he mutters we could just cuddle instead when you say goodbye at the door
the rest of august is sweeter than summer ice cream
you and xiaojun go on dates, which xiaojun is actually good at planning because he just knows you so well and he knows you are not the type of person who wants to go to fancy, uptight restaurant or even entertains the idea of seeing sappy romance movies in theaters
he knows what to order for you two before you even come over
you know what he needs when he just offhandedly mentions that he needs to get some stuff from the store
and it’s like you two are connected by something more than just a physical need for the other, it’s like your souls have been intertwined and your minds too
you do finally get to come over when the rest of the members are out practicing or hanging out with other people
and you check the door to the room is locked about six times before xiaojun has to rope you into his arms with his pretty lips
before scuttling out from under the covers to check the lock himself too
it makes you laugh, he laughs too, you two kiss and you think you can only remember xiaojun’s taste for hours after
no one, not even strangers, seem surprised by you being together as they learn it
an older woman at the beach says you and him just look like puzzle pieces that have found each other, she says she sees happiness in your futures
and it is all happiness - from that birthday to this one - almost ten years later
xiaojun knows you’re planning a party, you always do like it’s a tradition, so you can’t call it a surprise anymore
but he promises to act shocked when he comes through the door anyway
“is this shocked face good enough?”
he asks, putting his hands on his cheeks and opening his mouth
age has treated him so well, he’s still got the absolute best cheekbones you’ve ever seen in your life
you giggle and clamber over onto the sofa where he is
“no, no - more oomf!”
he tries again and then reaches out to pull you into him, you kiss his nose and he scrunches it up
“how about i just jump up and go 'no way!’ or something?”
“xiaojun you’re not twenty anymore.”
he pouts, “fine. ill think of something.”
“by the way what do you want as a present?”
you look into his eyes and the browns soften as they reflect the image of you, the person he’s sworn to love for the rest of his life
he shrugs - says he got the best present of all time already
“you said that last ye-”
“and it’s true, you’re the only thing ive ever wanted so badly i was just too dumb of a guy to ask for it.”
there is a sound that seltzer water makes when you drop something into it, like a slice of fresh fruit, like a little pop of fireworks
you remember liking the sound ever since you were young, much has changed since then, but you still like it now
you put the last bottle in the basket of your bike and check your phone, the farmers market opens in half an hour
your stand is much smaller than the rest, a lot of the people are driving down into town from large farms in the countryside. some local restaurants are setting up summertime stalls.
your little abode is all but a wooden table you brought last night from your balcony, covered in a checkered cloth and a handwritten sign
cold sparkling cherry ades & lemonade - home made
though meager, you are content - setting out the cooler you expertly tied to the side of your handlebars with the drinks you’ve prepared
the summer sun beats down on your shoulders, but you don’t mind
the people watching is a fun activity for an otherwise boring summer
the first couple of days, you’re not surprised by the scarce amount of customers
every other stand has more options and more people - but you still manage to sell some bottles, and with each one, you get a satisfied smile from the customer
one afternoon, you’re halfway through a book you’ve brought along when someone’s shadow casts over you
you close it and look up to see -
“dong sicheng?”
“ah, i thought it was you.”
he’s taller than you remember, and broader.
the hair longer at the back of his neck.
“are you back for the summer, i heard you spent last semester abroad?”
he nods, fingers reaching for one of the bottles of cherry ade
“can i buy one?”
you smile, “it’s on the house. tell me if you like it.”
he takes his time opening it, taking a long drink
you notice how his hand is large, big enough to wrap around the entire bottle’s width
he finally turns back to you and smiles, soft, “i do like it.”
you lean forward a little - “it’s my grandmothers recipe.”
“isn’t it just sparkling water and fruit?”
he tilts his head and you shake your head, “there’s a secret ingredient.”
his brown eyes reflect into an almost homey yellow when the sunrays beat down directly onto them
“what is it?”
you shrug, “secret- remember?”
he waves and you realize only a couple of minutes after he has gone
that he left money on the table
you bike back in the summer night breeze, suddenly remembering the last time you saw him - dong sicheng.
it was almost two years ago, since then he’s spent his time out of the country.
you had passed his group of friends in the park, but he wasn’t ever there
he’s grown, he got more handsome.
you wobble on your bike a little at the intrusive thought. you shake it out, instead focusing on the preparation for tomorrows market.
about a week passes, and maybe word has gotten out about your cherry ade, because you get a little more business
and sicheng keeps showing up
you keep giving him the drink for free - but somehow money always ends up on the table or in the tip jar
you think you should confront him, but that might be rude.
so you just put it in a separate little box, planning that one day you’ll see him and give it all back.
it’s a friday when you look up from your book and see several shadows overcasting yours
you recognize them; kun, hendery, xiaojun, yukhei, ten, and yangyang
hendery pulls a bottle of lemonade from your cooler and grins
“so this is the stuff sicheng keeps drinking?”
kun snatches it and settles it back between the ice
“no, it’s the cherry ade.”
he turns to you with a slight grin, “but i don’t think it’s just the cherry ade he’s been coming back for.”
you have no idea what he’s talking about - and you put a hand on your hip
“do you guys want to buy something or-”
“sorry, seven cherry ades please.”
you count them - “but there’s only six of you.”
“we’re getting one for sicheng.”
your heart sinks a bit when you assume that means sicheng won’t come himself
but place the seven bottles into a brown paper bag
kun thanks you, hands you the money, but you refuse it
“i keep telling sicheng they’re on the house, but he keeps giving me money. ill just assume he paid for those seven in …. theory.”
kun smiles because he understands what you mean
hendery just looks at xiaojun for some help, but gets a halfhearted mumble in return
as the market closes for the day, the moon is peeking up in the sky
but it isn’t dark just yet
you pack what’s leftover into your bikes basket before walking out to the sidewalk
parked on the edge is a car you’re not familiar with, between all the vans from the different farms
the car door opens and sicheng’s tall figure folds himself out of the drivers seat
“do you bike home alone?”
“it’s only three miles, it really isn’t anything to be worried about.”
he tilts his head toward the trunk
“i think your bike will fit - and you can hold the basket up front.”
you are a little dizzy suddenly when you’re seated beside him and sicheng is pulling out from his parking spot
it has been silent since those words and you want to say something to avoid this kind of dense atmosphere so you open your mouth - but nothing comes out
why am i nervous?
“i heard my friends visited you today, im sorry if they bothered you. some of them are -” he shakes his head a bit “a handful.”
“i assume you mean hendery?”
“that one and yangyang, sometimes ten and xiaojun get looped into it too. yukhei is too nice to say no.”
“kun?”
he slows the car a little at a red light
“he’s too smart to go along with the idiocy.”
“he said something to me today.”
sicheng swallows, you catch his reflection in the car mirror
“he said you don’t only show up for the cherry ade….to the farmers market i mean, do you -”
you sit up straighter and your grip on the basket of leftover drinks tightens
“do you have another stall you like-”
“it’s you.”
the car starts moving again
“me?”
he seems to come out of his tight skin for a second, rolling his shoulders back but never letting go of the wheel
he keeps his eyes on the road till you get to your house, you have no idea how he remembers where you live, but you ask again before you get out
“me?”
finally sicheng turns to you and in the close proximity you see how the two years of age has made him more defined
“there were things about this place the i missed when i left, but i -”
he lets go of the wheel
“but i was surprised when i missed you.”
the night sky has come out fully now, which is weird - not much time seems to has past
“oh, i -” it had never occurred to you if you missed him too. maybe part of you did, subconsciously, because when you saw him again at the market you had felt more whole than before.
“don’t worry about feeling the same-” he sighs, voice smaller than before but still deep “i just wanted to let you know because my friends will probably open their big mouth-”
“can you kiss me?”
sicheng obliges, with only a second of hesitance, and it is slightly awkward because it’s over the middle partition and all and you’re holding the basket of unsold drinks
but it’s nice and it tastes like summer
and when he pulls back you say thank you out of sheer disorientation and happiness
only in the morning do you realize, i left the bike in his trunk!
you are ok with walking the two miles and you ready yourself for it but when you leave your house parked out front is sicheng
your bike is out of the trunk but when you put a hand on it he offers instead to drive you to the market
that way you can carry more drinks and he’ll drive you home after it closes too.
“you don’t have to do all that.”
“i want to.”
sicheng gets into the routine of doing it for you everyday, you insist numerous times that the bike is fine, but he never seems to fully listen
the only repayment he ever asks for are cold glasses of the cherry ade
and sometimes one more of those short, sweet in-car kisses
one morning as you’re walking out to meet him again he asks, gently, if you can skip this one day at the market
“why?”
“i thought we could go do something together.”
you agree, he could have just said date - you think with a little laugh to yourself, and are surprised when sicheng drives you out and down to the lake
there’s a sectioned off area for an outdoors cafe and when you both order the same cherry flavored drink, you note it as a coincidence
when it arrives, sicheng takes the first drink
“your homemade one is better.”
“i think you’re a little biased there.”
you feel him outstretch his long legs under the table, his ankles on either side of yours
the lean a little onto you, not too much, just enough minimal contact
“will you ever tell me the secret ingredient for it?”
he asks and you put your hands down on the table so they’re also just in reach of his own
he seems to get the signal and puts his hands down too, pinkies brushing pinkies
“if i decide you deserve to know.”
he sits up, “what’s the criteria for being worthy?”
you look away - out onto the lake
“telling you would be cheating.”
“well, i have all summer to figure it out then.”
the rest of the date, as you are sure that’s what it is, goes so comfortably that it almost is like sicheng had never been gone for those two years
it’s as if you’ve seen him everyday and he’s held your hand everyday and he’s admired you when he thought you couldn’t notice…….everyday
when it finally is time to walk back to the car for the drive home
he stops and says with an almost delicacy about it, that you two should have a first - real - kiss
he keeps his hands to himself when he says this and you can tell he’s trying to be careful with you
you don’t like that, and so you take his larger wrists and drag him toward you until you place them where you want them - on your hips
you look up at him and his pupils seem just a bit blown out
“you said a real kiss right?”
you lean in first, which catches sicheng by surprise, he makes another sound of it when you tug his lower lip between your teeth
his fingers curl a little into the fabric of your shorts and you mutter before you break apart that you are not a glass bottle of cherry ade, he doesn’t have to handle with too much care
from then on it is a flurry, the rest of the summer still has you working the farmers market but you spend too many ‘breaks’ in between kissing with sicheng pressing your back up against a hidden wall or a tree
when some of the farmers or other stall owners catch you, they rush away and giggle when you pass by during closing
one of the local florist stalls corners sicheng before he makes his way over to you and insists he give you this bouquet
you set it up beside your cooler and sicheng takes a long drink before he joins you behind the table
he watches you play with his fingers while you wait for customers and although he tries to poise himself
in five minutes time he asks if you can take another break
with his lips on yours you get that aftertaste of cherries - and you love it
on the night you have you first complete sell out, all bottles gone, you say you and sicheng should celebrate
he assumes you mean go out to dinner or something but you tell him to drive you home now
and when he parks you take his hand in yours and lead him inside
the middle of the summer is the hottest and the stickiest and you leave the window open regardless of what the neighbors might hear because of it
sicheng, though you warned him to not be all too careful, is so considerate the whole time you are the one who has to pull your own shirt off first and everything else with it
in front of wide, flustered, and slowly darkening gaze of him
when you wake him up the next morning, he’s groggy and gives you a little sound of protest - you sit in your bed eating cherries and then tell sicheng you can tie the knot with your tongue
he watches you do it and before you can finish, he pulls you back down ontop of him
the summer’s sweetness of sicheng and your cherry ade continues until you start to realize the nights are getting longer and cooler
and the questions dawns on you
is sicheng here for good? or is he going to leave again, for another year, or two, or three?
you feel weird about asking him, because if he wants to go then you don’t want him to rethink it at the expensive of you
so you don’t - not until it’s the last day of the farmers market and you are standing beside him with his hand on your waist and you go
“are you ready to hear the secret ingredient?”
“oh - i finally deserve to know?”
he nuzzles a kiss against your ear
“i want you to know it before you…….if you leave, i want you to know it if you leave because i might not be able to tell you-”
his hand drops and you realize this is your fear coming to fruition
“im not leaving.”
you turn, so fast you almost knock the cooler over but sicheng catches it before the glass bottles can go tumbling to the ground
“you’re not?”
“no. i don’t have any reason too because there’s something here i want to stay for now.”
he props the cooler back up and catches you still looking at him, he smiles softly
“unless you want me to go?”
“no!” you throw your hands around his neck and pull him down into a kiss that he has to stop because you are still in public
“then i wont go, i didnt plan on it and im not going to change my mind. i promise.”
he adds and you nod, an assurance coating the the doubt and terror that had built a home within you
“oh- the secret ingredient is-”
you lean up to whisper in his ear and he stifles a chuckle and a unsatisfied, ‘really?’
you pretend to be offended, but nod - “yes. really.”
“well i feel honored to know.”
his hand settles back on your waist and you lean into his side,
“you should be. you’re the only other person on earth right now who does.”
you remember liking the sound ever since you were young, much has changed since then, but you still like it now - that sound that seltzer makes when you drop something into it
you think sicheng has grown to love it too
standing behind you in the kitchen as you cut fresh cherries in halves and he watches
hands on either side of you - wedding band gleaming
“your hands are all dirty-” he mumbles and you take the diced cherries and plop three at a time into the glass bottles
the rest you feed to him over your shoulder, one for him - one for you
“ill wash them after im done.”
he takes one of your hands and kiss them, you swat him away and tell him to go take the tray of glass bottles to the dining room
all your friends are there waiting patiently, all older, but all still together
hendery claps his hands and you hear it from the kitchen
he takes a bottle and goes, “isn’t this the real reason you married them sicheng - all the free cherry ade in the world.”
you hear a sound and kun grumbling the words, “don’t be dumb hendery.”
you laugh and turn the water on to wash your hands - you don’t hear it but xiaojun whispers to sicheng
“so - what’s the special ingredient, did they ever tell you?”
“i bet it’s love or something, right sicheng?”
ten snorts and sicheng looks through the room at you, standing in the home you’ve built together, smiling to yourself
yukhei keeps bouncing his leg under the poker table and sicheng thinks it really is going to drive him nuts
they’ve been wandering around the hotel for hours
and the target hasn’t even shown their face, let alone made any sort of indication that they’d be coming down to enjoy the casino on this late summer evening
sicheng grits his teeth - was xiaojun’s intel wrong?
the gun pressed against the side of his hip, cloaked by the long linen blazer he’s wearing, still manages to feel cold against his hot skin
he’s been spying on your company for years - this is the first time any news of your true identity has come to the surface in the underground world
if he can just get you alone, get you to admit that you are who he thinks you are
then he can get you to admit how your company is just a sham - just a shell to hide the business you’re actually in
“i mean what if they just aren’t even here?”
sicheng’s eyes cut sharply into yukhei’s expression
he doesn’t have to even say it, but he does
“they are. xiaojun has never been wrong before.”
“ok, so what if they are here - but they’re not the evil mastermind criminal you think they- oh look at that i won!”
yukhei leans out to scoop the chips on the table toward him. the dealer giggles when he winks at her.
sicheng is getting impatient, yukhei could be right - but sicheng has never blown his cover and he has never apprehended an innocent civilian
he gets up, causing yukhei and the other players to startle
“restroom.”
he says and disappears, yukhei apologizing on behalf of his eccentric workbuddy.
sicheng splashes some water on his face and grips the side of the sink, he fishes an ear piece out of his pocket and slips it in, double-tapping it twice to connect him to his home base
ten’s laughter sparks through in a matter of seconds
“ah! hows the mission going?”
“put xiaojun on.”
ten sighs and mutters that he doesn’t like sicheng’s tone, he is his senior afterall
xiaojun’s voice comes in next
“sich-”
“sorry, but i dont recall asking you to give me bullshit information. sitting around and enjoying the beautiful sights of macau is fun and all that but im here to capture a criminal, not entertain yukhei’s blossoming gambling addiction.”
sicheng is pretty sure he can hear xiaojun cringe - but he keeps his voice low
“have their been any updates on their socials?”
xiaojun tinkers over on his side, and then confirms that you should be at the hotel. all of the gps signals from your phone are coming from the tower just down the block.
“well they’re not here - are you telling me they flew over here for a vacation just to stay holed up in their ro-”
“sicheng, they just posted a photo on instagram. the targets sitting at your poker table.”
as quickly as he leaves, sicheng reemerges at the table.
he’s happy to see that yukhei still looks perfectly composed, jolly and entertaining
but as soon as sicheng sits back down, he feels a tap on his knee
it’s them
yukhei’s tap means, sicheng taps back
good. let’s proceed with the plan.
sicheng is only a bit surprised, internally of course, that you look so much like your photos
either you’re flaunting your identity or you’ve made the biggest oversight of your life
buying an international phone, with an international sms chip, should be pretty hard to trace. but macau is part of sicheng’s turf. as soon as you bought it - your information popped up on xiaojun’s servers
and now
here you were
the dealer serves the cards, sicheng gets a flop of a hand
across the table, it looks like his target is giddy with their cards.
yukhei picks up on it as well and leans over to whisper something into the targets ear
the target bursts into laughter again. good, yukhei will sweet talk his way in and sicheng will clean up with an invitation to join them for dinner later
“sir?”
the dealer’s voice pulls sicheng out of his mind and back to reality
he pushes a small stack of chips into the middle
“ah - looks like my buddy isn’t gonna win this one, huh?”
yukhei says to the target and they both giggle at sicheng.
sicheng gives a shy, rehearsed smile
he knows his handsome and quiet persona paired with yukhei’s equally as handsome and loud persona is a sure catch in these things
if you don’t like yukhei, you’ll like him.
if you don’t like him, you’ll like yukhei.
the game goes on and everything goes to plan - sicheng is itching to get you alone - but his job is all about waiting
finally, the game ends - some rich old man on the other side of the table ends up with a boatload of everyone’s money
yukhei gets up and sicheng follows, buttoning his blazer
“would you like to join us for drinks, we’re going to head over to the bar”
yukhei asks first and sicheng bows his head slightly - polite, playing the gentlemen
he hears the target confirm and sicheng starts counting down the seconds in his head
there’s an alley between the casino and the poolhouse, it’s used for the staff - but sicheng knows the hotel’s owner, kun and has arranged that it be off limits for tonight
he will get all the information he needs there
just as he’s about to follow after yukhei, whose hand is already lightly on the targets waist
the dealer places something down on the table and out of the corner of his eye - sicheng freezes
it’s the ace of spades, but there is something written on it
he shouldn’t be bothered by it, but his curiosity nips him to look
‘and here i thought you’d actually catch me, dong sicheng.’
something in sicheng’s blood goes cold
he looks up and the dealer is gone
quickly, he sees a flash of the distinct red uniform that they wear weave away from him in the crowd
without notice, he takes off after it - and yukhei turns in confusion, calling out his name
the phone in sicheng’s back pocket is buzzing, he fumbles to get the ear piece back on and he hears xiaojun’s voice - staticy and unstable
“sicheng! we were looking at the wrong person - the actual- the- “
“xiaojun, i cant hear you!”
“the phone was planted! the - the phone-”
“xiaojun, get to it!”
“the dealer!”
sicheng rips the ear piece out, he dodges waiters with platters of drinks and drunk casino patrons as he follows your figure through them
at some point he think he loses sight of you, skirting to a stop near the doors to the kitchen when he hears someone shout from inside
he pushes through - and there you are, standing over a pile of desserts and a flabbergasted looking chef
you look over your shoulder and grin at sicheng, dashing off without another hesitation
sicheng follows, he hurries to grab the gun in his waistband, but stops as he realizes there are way too many eyes on him
he’s a spy, not a cop, if these people see a gun they’ll freak out
instead he jumps over the mess you’ve made - still chasing you
he’s surprised you’re faster than him, and it’s only when he turns the corner and into that little alley he’d set up earlier
that he catches you
but it’s too late - you’re standing there with our own gun drawn
behind you, where there should be another opening and sicheng was hoping he could call yukhei for back up - is a giant dumpster
not even yukhei could scale it and sicheng puts his hands up as you motion with your free hand for him to back up
“did you know i was onto you?”
“of course.”
“how?”
“you shouldnt be so sure of yourself sicheng, you know.”
he swallows and in the dim light, he sees a slither of your face
he hadn’t paid any attention to you at the table - which he can’t forgive himself for - he usually indulges every detail
but now he can see that you’re suspicious
for one, you don’t even have a name tag on
and you’re far too beautiful to be working tables at this casino - but that observation he files away for himself
“what are you talking about?”
“you think your friends won’t sell you out?”
the faces of yukhei, xiaojun, and ten flash through his mind. there’s also yangyang - a spy in training stationed on a mission abroad, and hendery - who knows about sicheng’s job only by an accidental meeting a couple of years back.
“none of my friends would sell me out.”
“oh im not talking about that sweet boy yukhei……..”
“then wh-”
kun? the owner of the hotel?
sicheng’s eyes narrow - “what did you do to him?”
you pull back the gun, but not enough that sicheng feels safe enough to approach you
instead you start the slow walk closer, the more you inch forward the more of your face becomes clear to him
sicheng really doesn’t get it now, how could he have been so blind - you put a hand out to touch his cheek
and as if you can read his mind, you answer his doubts
“it’s because you were way too focused on a stranger when you should have been looking at me.”
you give a tilt of your head and pout
“you’ve spent all this time chasing me, i thought you would finally sweep me off my feet this time.”
sicheng twitches, he hadn’t realized at the table, but you have a sweet smell wafting from you
he wonders if his brain is just malfunctioning due to all the mistakes he’s made or if you somehow managed to put it on in the time span of the chase
either way, it’s engulfing him - he thinks he won’t forget your face or this scent for a long time
he feels your other hand trace down the side of his blazer and pull his weapon masterfully from beneath
with both guns in your hands, he has to walk on eggshells now
“well, it looks like you’ll have to keep chasing.”
you step back and unbutton the vest of the uniform - sicheng’s eyes look away and he hears you slip the guns into what he assumes are holsters within the pockets
you suddenly lean forward, taking him by the chin and turning his attention back on you
“promise you won’t give up?”
you’re mocking him and it makes sicheng’s skin crawl
but at the same time, something in him is twisting around and reacting to the way your eyes, as cold and as cruel as they look, are reflecting under the shine of the moon
what a stupid romantic thought, sicheng tries to tell himself, but he can’t help it
“never”
he means to spit it back, to challenge you like you’re challenging him
but somehow it doesn’t sound that way and when you stand on the tips of your toes to kiss right beside his lip
you whisper
“good, i hope you really do get me next time.”
before disappearing and leaving sicheng alone - confused and pissed
when he finds yukhei again, his friend just blinks at him and asks
“what’s the stain on the side of your mouth it looks like -”
sicheng rubs it off with his sleeve
“nothing. let’s get back to the base. im not letting this one get away.”
