#acne scars
Sorry I haven’t been posting lately I’ve been dealing with a skin disease that will scar my face and body for the rest of my life because of the pain full blisters all over my body.
I got this illness from my exboyfriends dirty house. We broke up after he cheated on me then I was diagnosed with this illness the day after … I don’t know what I did to deserve this but I’m trying to remain hopeful that my body will heal and I can go back to normal. Until then no face pics . He cheated on me with my exfriend I told him I hated because she’s a slut and what did he do, he slept with her . Now I’m stuck living with him until I can afford to move out in febuary . He’s a constant painful reminder of the betrayal… I wish I could afford face laser surgery and be beautiful again.
I’m doing everything I can to prevent scars . Using vitamin e oil, Aztec secret clay mask calcium benotinite, benzoyl peroxide face wash, some perscribed toner, and many more products. I just hope people will still find me beautiful. My mom told me at least I don’t have to worry about people using me for my looks so I guess I’m never going to be as beautiful as I was before . And I only just realized my beauty…
I know, it has been a long time since my last post.
Not long after my last update, I stopped taking the medication. It was a decision nourished by many factors.
1. I asked myself why I was taking the medication. Was it for me? Or for others?
2. Weird stomach noises, digestive irregularity.
3. I was training for a marathon, which I completed recently…by the way! I felt that the running was really a lot on my body with the medicine.
Disclaimer: I do not encourage nor do I discourage the usage of Accutane. I remember how I felt when my skin was at its worst. I remember that acne can be more than visually unappealing, but also physically painful (yeah, cysts HURT).
Good news: right now, I’m OKAY with my skin. And that’s a big deal!
Here’s what I’ve been doing, that has personally worked. I can only speak for myself. Different skin requires different treatment. I can say that it has been a while since I have had a painful cyst…and my chin has been clearer than ever and that’s my problem area. Knock on wood that this continues!
1. I don’t wash my face with hot water. I use cold or room temperature. I apply my cleanser (cetaphil daily) and do not rub nor massage my face. I dab the cleanser very lightly. I let it sit on my face for about 10 seconds before rinsing with cold water.
2. After I allow my skin to air dry, I use this aloe vera spray http://www.vitaminlife.com/index/page/product/product_id/76016/product_name/SG+Aloe+Mist?gclid=CjsKDwjw6qnJBRDpoonDwLSeZhIkAIpTR8J2wVikpQ6YVbTNzlpn99G3ilLcNDCJsgUfCZZcgnoeGgKjUfD_BwE
3. After allowing the spray to dry, I apply moisturizer on only my cheeks and forehead. I do not touch or rub it on my chin, since that seems to encourage acne. In the PM, I use the CeraVe tub and in the morning I use the CeraVe moisturizer
This is what I’ve been doing! I’ve also been taking a digestive enzyme to help repair damage that may have been done during my accutane course. I try to eat healthy, but I’m nowhere near perfect. I’m not 100% blemish free, but I’m better than I’ve been a long time…and my face isn’t in pain.
I’d say that’s a victory…
So, right now my face is like 100% clear. Yes. Really. I honestly forgot what that looked like.
And yet, I can’t push away constant ‘2nd thoughts’ about the medication.
So far, I’ve been really lucky. I haven’t had any major side effects. In fact, right now I feel really great. Inside and out. The only thing I have noticed: mild stomach discomfort and persistently strange sounds (from my stomach). Of course this leads to internet searches–and isotretinoin is credited for several digestive and intestinal issues. Then I read more. Things I already knew, but for some reason seem scarier. Like people claiming to have horrible sicknesses and conditions years after their course on the medication.
And sometimes I start asking myself: why did you start taking it? Often, I find my response is pressures from society. Wanting to look good in public, for my partner, etc. etc. Is that an acceptable reason? I don’t know. However, it’s easy to forget the pain of acne (both internal and external) when your face is clear.
I know I never had the most extreme or serious acne. But it was constant, painful, scarring, and I have a serious oil problem.
To stop or to continue.
Does anyone have any thoughts that they would care to share with me? I go back and forth all the time. I’m going to talk to my derm at the end of the week.
1. Oil production has decreased dramatically. Don’t have to wash my hair everyday, or even use oil absorbing pads on my skin.
2. No extreme dryness thus far (crossing my fingers it stays this way). I have still been able to use benzoyl peroxide for spot treatment. I do put on chap stick more frequently, but I definitely don’t have horribly dry lips.
3. I have experienced mild discomfort in my back, nothing debilitating. I continue to exercise regularly.
Today, I went to the dermatologist and I will begin a higher dosage once I finish my current prescription.
Sending my best to everyone out there as we continue our clear skin journeys!
Update ✔️:
So I thought I’d be giving an update sooner. But the fact is…it’s day 8 and changes have been pretty minimal.
About the pictures above…the one on the left is of me like 2 weeks before starting accutane. I decided to take the drug less because of the acne and more because of my severe oil. It constantly looks like I’m sweaty, and it’s very uncomfortable. Also, sorry about my wild beard haha. The picture on the right is today. I don’t look oily because I just washed my face. The white dots are where I applied benzoyl peroxide.
I have experienced thus far no dryness (except maybe my hair?). I have also noticed no decrease in oil production. The good news..I have no active or painful blemishes at the moment! I put the benzoyl peroxide on red spots.
But anyway, my original purpose for writing this post was to express my discouragement today. The last two nights I have felt bloated with a stomach ache, and today I experienced some discomfort in my back. And of course I feed in to bad feelings by reading horror stories on the internet. I’m having second thoughts about taking the drug, in short. I can handle these effects for 6 months, but I worry that I could end up like the unlucky few who have dealt with a lifetime of problems.
I don’t know what to do. Perhaps it’s too early to judge. For now, I plan on seeing how the month goes and consulting with my dermatologist at my next appointment.
I hope things are going smoothly for everyone ❤.
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My dermatologist prescribed me accutane. I will be starting at the end of the month. I’m making my extensive list of must-have products to endure some of the nasty side effects! Wish me luck. I’m sitting hear with my entire chin inflamed and in pain, scared to shave my facial hair…really hoping for some relief.
I’m so tired. Red eyes and mental fog. Almost every thought is about my skin. How does this lighting make me look? I feel a slight tinge here- will this be a new blemish? Which way should I position my face to show the least amount of acne? Is my current acne product working? When’s my next dermatologist appointment? Will my oily skin ever go away? Are others staring at my skin? What do they see?
I just want a break. I want to be free from these thoughts. To sit, carefree and comfortable, under fluorescent lights.
All those suffering from acne on tumblr have really helped me. We are really strong. Acne is a taxing reality. But we remain beautiful and we continue. Can we all go on a retreat together?
A safe-space where we could freely talk about acne to understanding ears. Take selfies together and talk about how we are flawless and wonderful and how we will (or won’t) have clear skin one day. And that’s okay.
Who’s in?
