#agenderflux
lrb i am increasingly just telling people who profess to having no internal sense of gender and never had had one and find the idea of having one kinda alienating “you’re agender.”
technically what i should be saying is “you might be agender, maybe explore that?” but there are like a billion cis people and a million trans people telling them “if you don’t care about your gender at all that means you’re cis” which it absolutely doesn’t not so i feel the need to be a counter-weight.
if you are one of those billion cis people or million trans people: please stop saying that “not caring about your gender means you’re cis.” particularly when someone says “but i’ve never really had a sense of gender.”
not having an internal sense of gender does not mean that you are cis. it has never meant that you are cis! cis people care a lot about their gender! not caring about your gender means (very likely) that you are agender.
you don’t have to do anything with that information. it doesn’t compel you to start using specific pronouns or identifying in specific ways or joining specific support groups or communities. what it means is those things are there if you need them. what it means is you’re more like us than you are like them.
I think that there may be an important and likely easily missed difference between not having any internal sense of gender and thinking you don’t care about gender because you haven’t really had to confront it. If your gender aligns well with societal expectations, many of the ways gender and gender roles affect your life (and the ways you care about it) will be invisible to you because you don’t bump into them or strain against them regularly. I think that that’s what a lot of (especially transphobic) cis people are often unintentionally referring to when they say they don’t have a gender. That said, there are likely also a lot of agender folks out there who haven’t really questioned or figured out their gender.
Anyways cheers, good post.
Also, agenderflux person here, being agender or not, isn’t an either-or thing. You can see being agender as a spectrum, and it can also interact with genderfluidity, in the sense of some people, like me, being mostly agender but having some partial attachment to other gender identities that fluctuates over time.
If this stuff seems painfully abstract, it is. Think about it only if you find it empowering to do so. I personally find agenderflux to be a useful term for understanding my own experience of gender, but I recognize it is super esoteric and I don’t expect other people, even other nonbinary people or other genderfluid people, to necessarily understand it.
To all the people who get told their identity is weird or “““mogai hell”““ or whatever exorsexists are using these days: I hope you know that you are valid, you are worthy of being respected, of having your pronouns and experiences respected. You know better than anyone else who you are and surely better than some jackasses just looking to bully someone. Have a wonderful day
Agenderflux moodboard! All photos are my own, please credit if you re-use.
[Image description: a 3 by 3 moodboard with the agenderflux flag in the center. The agenderflux flag has parallel black, grey, and white stripes top and bottom going inward. The middle stripe has a gradient with blue on the left side and pink/purple on the right.
The top row has a photo of a flame in black darkness with two photos of light grey sky, with soft highlights of blue and pink, with the black outlines of tree branches around the center.
The middle row has a turquoise blue ocean on the left side and a close up of purple/pink flowers on the right.
The bottom row has a photo of bare tree branches against light grey sky on the left, a close up of a black cat’s face in the middle, and a photo of grey ocean rocks on white sand to the right. End description.]
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Trans Neutral Agenderflux !! Free to use with credit !
req by: @broken-royal i hope you like at least one of these lol !
lil ramble about how i designed these under the cut
Two different versions cause my brain works a little weird, i associate desaturated colours and yellow for gender neutrality so the first one has desaturated pink and blue from the trans flag and the original green from agender gradiented into grey, and the other one doesnt use the pink and blue opting for just lighter versions of the original black/grey and since there was grey in that one i gradiented the green into a pastel yellow !! the last one i made while making this post cause i totally forgot the agenderflux flag uses a different color for the middle stripe so i used the agender green plus the middle-most color from the gradient of the agenderflux flag !!
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My newest video is out!!! I talk about a couple things you should never tell a non-binary person❤️
Almost every aspect of my life will tell me I don’t belong, that what I feel is not real and that I’m just making it up. That I must be a girl or a boy. That I’m not valid, and if I am, that I am alone. THAT I’M A DREAMER.
That the world isn’t ready for me.
Even though It would be easier if this was something I could change, I know in my heart that I am valid.
I am NOT a girl
I am NOT a boy
I AM non-binary
and that
I AM a dreamer.
So I better stop hiding, and start acting like one!
The world isn’t ready for me, and it won’t just get better either. I have to make it! We have to change the world! We have to be ourselves, so that others aren’t afraid to! We have to feel like we are alone, so that we are no longer so! We are the ones who will educate people! We are the ones who must destroy hetero and cis normatively!
And sure a lot of people will not believe us and will constantly invalidate us, but aren’t we already doing that to ourselves?
The only way to stop this is to face it and keep going, show them that we are stronger!
Only then, people will be forced to believe us! To know we are valid and that we are strong! It’s a long hard journey but it will be worth it, and we will survive because we are heroes! Each and everyone of you who is apart of the LGBT+ community, not just non-binary people! We are all heroes, just for living in this world!
But we have to do better. Better than just living here, we have to be the ones to change it. To fight society, and the roots of society that have grown in our brains! We have to believe in ourselves! We have to keep dreaming of the impossible, and we have to keep pushing ourselves to achieve it!
We CAN change the world
We MUST change the world
AND WE WILL!
But only if we dare to try
