I’ve been doing these lists on tumblr since 2009, but I started moving them over to my new blog back in 2018. I do a full written blurb on each album over there, otherwise the list is the same.
As with every year, a lot of these albums came out way before 2020. These are just my favorite albums that I’ve found over the course of this year. It’s been a shitty year, but at least there’ve been plenty of good tunes to get me through.
In addition to this list, I’ve also made a Favorite Songs 2020 Playlist that’s streaming on Apple MusicandSpotify.
Exhorder -Mourn the Southern Skies
Deftones - Ohms
JJ Wilde -Ruthless
Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue
Laura Marling - Once I Was An Eagle
Orange Goblin - Back from the Abyss
Alanis Morissette-Such Pretty Forks in the Road
Fates Warning - Long Day Good Night
Trivium - The Sin and the Sentence
Judas Priest - Defenders of the Faith
Honorable Mentions:
St. Beauty - Running to the Sun
Amythyst Kiah and Her Chest of Glass - Self-Titled
Alanis Morissette and Olivia Rodrigo got together for a conversation about music, inspiration, and heartbreak for this year’s Rolling Stone Musicians on Musiciansissue
Known for: Grammy Award winning Canadian singer, songwriter, musician, producer, & actress, she is one of the most beloved & popular singers from the 1990s, & continues to find great success to this day. Originally, she started her career as a child actress, appearing on the popular Canadian television show You Can’t Do That On Television. But once the 90s came about, she started her career in music, & her first two albums were part of the dance pop genre. But her third album, Jagged Little Pill, branched more into a grunge rock style, & became an immense hit. Since then, she became the big superstar that she remains to this day. Some of her most notable songs include “Feel Your Love”, “Too Hot”, “Walk Away”, “An Emotion Away”, “No Apologies”, “Ironic”, “You Oughta Know”, “Hand In My Pocket”, “All I Really Want”, “You Learn”, “Head Over Feet”, "Thank U", “That I Would Be Good”, “Unsent”, “So Pure”, “Joining You”, “King of Pain”, “21 Things I Want in a Lover”, “Hands Clean”, “Flinch”, “So Unsexy”, “Precious Illusions”, “Surrendering”, “Utopia”, “Eight Easy Steps”, “Out Is Through”, “Everything”, “Crazy”, “Underneath”, “Not as We”, “In Praise of the Vulnerable Man”, “Guardian”, “Lens”, “Receive”, “Reasons I Drink”, “Smiling”, & so much more. With this great success in the field of music, she has several albums to her name, & she continues to tour & play music for fans all over the world, even collaborating with other artists as well on tour. Besides music, she has also done other acting projects mainly on television, though she is also known for her work in Kevin Smith films such as Dogma & Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. She also has her own podcast titled Conversations with Alanis Morissette, writes her own advice column for The Guardian, & also helped create a musical based on her album Jagged Little Pill, with hopes of it premiering soon.
My mom was always horrible at hiding things. She couldn’t hide from me that we were poor, though she rarely tried. She referred to food stamps often and we lived in a trailer park. She told us right off the bat we were getting toys for tots stuff for Christmas one year. There was a little interests sheet she had to fill out so they could try to match us with toys that would hopefully fit our desires. Present wise, it was bad. They gave us dollar store dolls with hair that came out too easily and plastic that dented at the slightest touch. They were impossible to fix - like an off-brand bottled of water. It wasn’t that toys were cheap that made it bad, it was that we didn’t play with dolls. I was probably eleven or twelve and my sister was in high school and it just wasn’t us. We don’t have pictures of that Christmas, probably because we couldn’t afford the film.
On years she saved and bought presents, I always knew where she hid those, too. At first it was in the cabinets, above the washer and drier, shoved behind towels and double or triple wrapped in Kmart bags. After she realized that spot was useless, she hid them in the nook in her closet that expanded past the boundaries of the sliding doors. Then it was the shed dad built us that was kept locked for the mass amount of tools she housed there. There was a spare, though, and I knew right where it was. Finally she moved them to the toolbox in the bed of her little Mazda pick-up, the white paint chipped and rusted. She had the only key and while we both knew they were there, we also knew there was no getting in there.
What she tried to hide most and what I believe I always hid my knowledge of, was how lonely she was. I’m a nostalgic sort. I would go through the whole house and dust and touch and inspect. The empty Huckleberry Cream Soda bottles and the ankh mom had molded from clay. The bamboo goblets and the 3D puzzle statue of King Tut. Mom’s jewelry box. Her drawers full of notebooks with lyrics and poems I thought she had written. Instead they were songs she’d heard and lingered on, written word for word and filled hundreds of pages. All of which were yellowed. Dawning from before my birth up to the years I first found them.
She worked a lot. At one point, she was the manager of three separate departments in Kmart: auto, hardware, and toys. I would go in before and after school and help her front board games or Matchbox cars. They laid her off mere months before her ten year anniversary but while she was there, she would come home, kick off her shoes, and sit in her bedroom, leaving my sister and I to occupy ourselves.
She hid her chocolate stash in her dresser drawers - easy. She’d go to work and I’d hang out it her room, watch movies, and chip away at it. I’d stand on her bed and belt out Panic! at the Disco.
I’ve always had a lot of anxiety. When I was younger, I dealt with some anxiety induced insomnia. I would lay wide away in my bed and any noise was a sign of an intruder. That creak in the linoleum was not the cat, it was the systematic murder of my mother and my sister. If I were to step outside of my bedroom, I would find them both in their rooms, dead. Blood everywhere. I would wait for an hour after the last violent noise,walk silently to my door and open it slowly, looking for signs of the massacre I’d imagined, then walk down the hall to my mom’s room and open her cracked door even more slowly.
There she’d be, fast asleep in her ragged red flannel in the fetal position, the blankets disheveled. And every time I knew, there would be no sleep for me if I didn’t sleep there. So I’d crawl in. Sometimes, she would turn over and wrap her arms around me and sometimes she would tell me to go back to my room, though I don’t know that I ever actually did.
Later, after I told her why I came to her room, she said I should have told her. She would’ve done something. There was nothing she could have done, though, beyond letting me sleep there. Letting me make sure she was safe.
I was able to predict her mood by the songs we listened to on the way to town every morning. If it was Alanis, she was angry - ramped up and ready to take on the bullshit that is misogyny. If it was Train, she was hopeful and happy, or at least content. Matchbox Twenty was for when she was unloved and unwanted.
She was never either of those things, but being loved and wanted by your daughter is never quite the same.
When Jess and I grew tall, my small mother took to calling us her Amazon Women. Her protectors. Her girls. It was around the time she actually started to shrink in size and I started countering her arguments with “I can lift you."
Physically, I could. Emotionally, I’d like to think the same. The time has come and gone where I was the same age as she when she had her first daughter. I imagine myself in her position: living with an alcoholic husband and a small child and I don’t know how she did it. She was so strong.
I’ve always been better than her at hiding. The anxiety. The depression. The crushes. The outings into the desert. Bike rides into town. My sister’s secrets. And my own.
It was my last semester at University of Idaho that I realized hiding was the reason I didn’t feel connected to anyone. The reason I’d stop letting myself feel anything. I was too afraid they wouldn’t want me for whoever I was - I honestly didn’t know, anymore, who I was.
I think we shared a journey. I did mine without a husband and two crazy kids, but in the end, we both lost a lot to get back to who we are and what we truly want. It’s taken a lot for us to let ourselves have it.
It’s been years since it was just Mom and I against the world and, thankfully, she’s not lonely anymore. She finally found someone who doesn’t make her write Nicselfkleback songs in 49 cent spirals. And she replaced me with a cat that she spoils (Mom, Miss Kitten is fat, admit it to yourself). I miss her every single day, but just as I told her when I was little and showed the first signs of awful math skills: I love her. Ten to a thousand. And no manner of miles or mountains or live in boyfriends or fat cats she clearly loves more than me is going to change that.
