I just had to… Belgium’s entry for Eurovision 2018 is a pure beauty, I love the soothing & mysterious vibe of the song, suddenly feels like I’m watching a detective with romance movie while listening to it? This is a parody of a scene in the official mv.
There we gooo~ Initially I thought 2p!Canada would’ve been the best pick for Bender (honestly he is), but I wanted to avoid having two Nationalities too close in terms of language or culture as a nod to how the og Breakfast Club’s characters come from five completely different uhm- teen populations? Teen subspecies? So yeah ^o^ ( @cunchishai )
(if you think I forgot to add the textures on their clothes and only realized once it was too late, you’re absolutely correct)
APH Estonia Week Day 2: AU Flower Shop, Belgium, mentions of DenEst, hints of NethBel (I headcanon they are not siblings)
Chap 9/Ending: Forget me not
More than 70 years later…
Tuuli looked around, in all directions of the street. She sighed, looking down at the yellowed note she was holding in her hand. That was strange, according to the address on the note, that florist should have been here. From the very beginning, the idea of finding a florist that existed more than 70 years ago and had nothing to do with Tuuli seemed crazy. After all those years, there was nothing to ensure that the florist still existed. Even the street where the flower shop was located might have changed its appearance or its name or both many times. There was no way she could find it. Besides, if she was able to find it, what would she do next? Yet she kept bearing a small ray of hope that she could find it, only to be able to see it once. All because she felt both excited and touched by the story of a man that she had never met.
Holding the note firmly in her hand, she thought to herself, what would she do next? If she did everything she could and still couldn’t find it, the only way was to go home. But if she went all the way here only to go back, trying so hard but still couldn’t find the flower shop, she would feel very disappointed. Over the past 70 years, many changes had taken place. But one thing she was quite sure of was that according to the information she had, even if the name of the street or the surrounding structures were no longer the same as they were 70 years ago, the location of the flower shop was here.
But in front of her now was just an empty space.
Frustrated, she turned and walked away. If it was because of the negligence that made her go to the wrong address, there could still be hope, but if she couldn’t find the shop because it no longer existed, she had to accept the truth and give up. She would think of other ways later. If worst came to worst, she had no other choice but to come back to her homeland.
Suddenly there was a voice that was gentle but clear and strong enough to startle her:
- Miss, are you looking for a flower shop named “Jellyfish”? I hope my question doesn’t cause you too much inconvenience. If I did something wrong, please forgive me.
That voice belonged to a young man. Normally, Tuuli didn’t get these kinds of questions, and she didn’t feel very comfortable dealing with a stranger. But now she didn’t care much about it because she was surprised at how this person knew that she was looking for the flower shop “Jellyfish”? She hesitantly replied:
- Y..yes. It’s true that I’m looking for that flower shop. But how do you know?
- I observe that you’ve been standing here and looking sadly and disappointedly into this vacant lot for quite some time. Before that, you were walking around the neighborhood like you were looking for something.
Tuuli frowned, seemingly displeased. The young man quickly said:
- I didn’t mean to spy on you or have any malicious intentions. I was also taking a look at the empty lot. At that time, I noticed you. Your behavior, gestures, and facial expressions were very similar to mine before. The spot you were standing to look at the vacant lot was also the place I used to stand. Everything was strikingly identical to me that I realized right away that there might be another person who was looking for a “Jellyfish” florist.
A revelation that left Tuuli stunned. Was there another person looking for a flower shop that existed more than 70 years ago like her?
- Are you… also looking for “Jellyfish” flower shop?
- Yes. Strictly speaking, it’s “used to find” because now I don’t look for it anymore. But every year when I have the opportunity, I come back here to stand in this place, just to look at this vacant lot. It’s been 5 years already. The first time I looked for it and didn’t find it I was quite shocked and confused so I had to extend my search and verify all kinds of information. I guess it is the first time you have searched for it?
Looking at her surprised face where so many questions such as “Why?” and “What is this person talking about?” seemed to have written on, he said:
- If you don’t mind, let’s go to a nearby coffee shop to talk. It’s inconvenient to stand here and talk because it’s kind of a long story.
Looking at her confused face, he smiled.
- I assure you that I don’t have any evil intentions. You can refuse if you don’t feel comfortable. It takes a long time to explain in detail, but if you don’t want to have coffee with me, I’m willing to stand here and briefly explain everything to you.
Tuuli shook his head slightly:
- I don’t think you’re a bad person. Just because this is the first time I’ve come across a situation like this. I’m getting too many shocks at once that I don’t know how to react.
- I understand. To be honest, when I saw you and realized that you might also be looking for the “Jellyfish” florist, I was also surprised and had many questions. That’s why I want to talk to you.
- I’ll come with you. But before that could you tell me a little bit about yourself?
- Sorry, I was so thoughtless. I should have introduced myself from the moment I started the conversation with you. Meeting someone who was also looking for the “Jellyfish” florist was such an unexpected coincidence that made me forget everything else. My name is Emil Køhler. I am from Denmark. And you? Would you mind introducing a little bit about yourself?
- My name is Tuuli Saar. I am Estonian.
- Nice to meet you. Which coffee shop would you like to go to?
- As you please. You seem to know this neighborhood better than I do.
- Ok. Please follow me.
Emil led Tuuli to a small and lovely cafe located not far from the location of the vacant lot. The two decided to sit outside, under colorful umbrellas. Their shades changed the color of the sun’s rays that shined through.
After ordering drinks, Emil said:
- First, there is one thing I need to make it clear to you from the beginning: According to my search, the flower shop “Jellyfish” never existed.
The information he told her came like a bolt from the blue.
- Never existed? What do you mean? If it never existed, why did you go looking for it?
- It does not exist in reality but exists in the mind and heart of a relative of mine and those who have seen it.
The more Tuuli listened, the less she understood.
- Could you be more specific, please? To be honest with you, I still don’t understand anything.
- It’s normal that you don’t understand. I know what I told you is hard to believe. Even now, when I am quite sure of my thoughts, the existence of the flower shop “Jellyfish” still leaves me with many questions. Please listen to me as I recount everything from the beginning.
And he started telling his story slowly:
- The reason I went to find a flower shop in a foreign country is that my granduncle had a wish to see that flower shop at least once in his life. In fact, he had never been to this flower shop. He only had that wish because that flower shop meant a lot to the person he loved. However, it was a pity that the last time he saw his lover was in 1946. Since then, until his life-strings were cut, he didn’t have a chance to see his lover again, nor did he see the flower shop even once. He passed away 5 years ago. He once went back to Estonia to find his lover, but unfortunately, that person died shortly after the collapse of the Soviet Union. People didn’t even think that person would be able to make it to that day because at the end of his life, due to age and illness, he was already very weak. Perhaps that person just tried to wait to see his homeland liberated, but he couldn’t wait for my granduncle. My granduncle was heartbroken. I heard that when my granduncle was young, he used to be a cheerful and energetic person. Later on, he seemed to be the same, in an old man’s fashion. But anyone close enough to him would realize that as far back as 1947, he had always kept his sadness hidden in his heart. He hadn’t been married and had been alone all his life. The older he got, the more time he spent sinking in thoughts. He was a reporter and writer. Besides writing for work, he wrote many other things but never published nor showed them to anyone, but I was pretty sure most of them were things that related to the person he loved. He did things that normal people didn’t understand, such as sitting alone but preparing two teacups. Sometimes, his eyes had a distant faraway look as if he was waiting for someone. People said he was old and gaga, but I didn’t think so. I just loved and respected him more. Although he was just my grandfather’s brother, we were very close. Perhaps because he didn’t have a family of his own, he considered my father and me as his own children and grandchildren. Before he died, he handed over everything that belonged to him to me. I read all of his diaries, letters, and notes. Through them, I learned about the person my granduncle loved – a man named Kalev Ilves and learned all the details about the flower shop “Jellyfish”. According to what Mr. Ilves said in the letter, that florist meant a lot to him. After my granduncle went back to Estonia to meet Mr. Ilves but couldn’t, he wanted to go to the place that held a lot of memories and was very important to Mr. Ilves. But no matter how hard he tried; he couldn’t find even a single trace of the flower shop. As time passed, my granduncle became older and weaker. He couldn’t go find the florist himself anymore. He passed away without being able to fulfill his wish. That was why after he passed away, I began my journey and came here to see the flower shop for him. But in the end, I couldn’t find it, the truths that I discovered were far different from what I had imagined…
Tuuli stammered:
- Sorry to interrupt but… the information you provided… 1947, my country, the flower shop, the name of your granduncle’s lover, your last name and your granduncle’s job… Is his name Matthias Køhler?
Emil was surprised:
- That’s right. You know him?
- No. Strictly speaking, I do have a little information about Mr. Køhler through a person I know. That person was the one your grandfather loved… He is also the reason I find the flower shop “Jellyfish”
- So that was the reason why when hearing a person from Estonia was also looking for the flower shop “Jellyfish”, I felt a strange feeling appear inside me without being able to explain why.
Pausing for a moment, as if to reflect, he added:
- In this life, fate sometimes creates strange coincidences. And maybe, in a way that is beyond human understanding, there are no coincidences.
Tuuli nodded slightly:
- Yes. I never believed in these kinds of ideas. But maybe after meeting you, I’ll have to reconsider my opinion. All the things that happened today challenge my beliefs. So… why did you say the flower shop “Jellyfish” never existed?
- Before I explain everything to you, could you tell me more about my granduncle’s lover as well as the reason why you are looking for the “Jellyfish” flower shop? I need to know how people perceive something that I consider “non-existent” before I can conclude that it really doesn’t exist.
- Actually, I’ve never met Mr. Ilves. Surely you can figure it out as well because you know that he died a long time ago. He was not a relative nor acquaintance of mine. I only know him through his papers, notes, and personal belongings. It all started last summer, I was on summer break. I wanted to use my free time away from my studies to do something useful for the community. I chose to be a volunteer at a nursing home. While cleaning, by luck I came across the properties of Mr. Ilves. His personal belongings were among the old belongings of people who died. They were all stored at the nursing home. Usually, such things didn’t stay in the nursing home for too long, because after an old person died, his or her family would come to the nursing home to receive his or her personal things and bring them back home. Only a handful of things were left there, boxed up and heaped up in a corner year after year, with no one coming to bring them home. Mr. Ilves’ belongings were among them. The nursing home also tried to find a way to return what belonged to Mr. Ilves to someone who related to him. But like Mr. Køhler, he had never been married all his life. After his parents died, he had no one he could consider his relative. The nursing home had to give up, so they had to destroy everything that belonged to him because they couldn’t keep such things for too long. Normally, personal belongings, especially documents, should never be disclosed to unauthorized individuals. But fortunately, I was trusted. I found favor with the archivist. She saw me as an honest, hardworking, and sincere person. Besides, she had a lot of work to do, so she asked me to take some documents and belongings of those who had no family and destroy them. I was going to destroy everything that I was given, but when I saw Mr. Ilves’ notebook with a twig of dried lavender sticking out from its pages, I was strongly attracted. It was like that notebook had a magical power that attracted me, I couldn’t stop looking at it. After fighting with my own mind, I decided that I would secretly bring all of Mr. Ilves’ things home. I read all of his diaries, letters, and notes. For a reason that I couldn’t understand, just through his words, drawings and photos, I could clearly understand his feelings and feel a special connection. I felt touched and deeply empathized with him. I was also fond of the beautiful florist “Jellyfish” and, as Mr. Ilves said, saved part of his soul. So, I went to look for the “Jellyfish” flower shop - a flower shop that existed more than 70 years ago, to trace back a memory of a person that I had never even seen. He wrote that his wish was to visit that flower shop, but he couldn’t fulfill it. Long story short, the reason I went to find “Jellyfish” was I wanted to fulfill his last will for him.
- I got it. Thank you. You have read all his notes about the flower shop “Jellyfish”, I guess you must know the woman named Juliette Janssens who was said to be the owner of that flower shop?
Tuuli nodded:
- Yes. What was related to the flower shop “Jellyfish” written by Mr. Ilves was mostly about Mrs. Janssens. Not much personal information, but through what he wrote, I can imagine her: a beautiful, gentle, clever, and resilient lady with a heart of gold. I also understand Mr. Ilves’ sincere and grateful feelings for Mrs. Janssens.
Emil took out from his backpack a record bag. Inside it was a rather thick stack of papers. He said:
- The reason I said that the flower shop didn’t exist was that the woman named Juliette Janssens died before Mr. Ilves arrived in Germany. That is to say around the years 1947 - 1949, Mrs. Janssens had already fallen into an eternal sleep and left this world. Even before 1947, there wasn’t any flower shop called “Jellyfish” around this area. Of course, I have expanded my search area.
Tuuli was shocked:
- Mrs. Janssens died before 1947!!? But apparently, Mr. Ilves met her, talked to her, ate the desserts she made. He had even worked at the “Jellyfish” florist for almost a year, right? Mrs. Janssens and the “Jellyfish” flower shop were also shown in some of his paintings and sketches. What’s the explanation for all of this?
- Please view my documents.
Emil said as he handed Tuuli the documents he had taken out:
- I had a hard time getting them. After all of my efforts to find the florist were in vain, I decided to seek help from relevant departments. I had to go to many places, wait a long time, and use many ways to get what I needed. Here are Mrs. Janssens’ death certificate, passport, travel record, and some other personal identification documents. All indicated that she died before 1947. I also looked for business documents, but they said there was no document related to the flower shop “Jellyfish” at all. I still didn’t give up, because I thought documents could be lost or have some errors. I went to ask the elderly who lived in this neighborhood. I also asked the descendants of those who had served as mayors of this neighborhood and surrounding areas. I also posted information about the flower shop “Jellyfish” on the Internet and asked if anyone had heard of it or seen it. All the answers I got are “Don’t know it” and “Never”. Also, “Jellyfish” is not included in any newspaper, paintings, photographs, or other publications that related to this neighborhood.
- You’re not fooling me, are you?
- I have no reason to lie to you. Besides, you can see those documents with your own eyes.
Tuuli found his own question absurd. She quickly said:
- I’m sorry. Just because this is hard to believe. Oh right! In Mr. Ilves’ notebook, there was a photo of the “Jellyfish” shop. Let me get it for you.
Tuuli hastily rummaged through her bag. Emil also leaned to the opposite side, curious and eager to see the photo. After a while, she rejoiced:
- Here is it!
But her expression immediately changed. She looked surprised, disappointed, and a little scared.
- What’s wrong with this photo?
The “photo” in her hand was just a sheet of blank glossy paper that had been slightly yellowed by time. There was absolutely nothing on that piece of paper, just a few lines of handwritten writing in the bottom corner of the paper.
- How could this be This picture was still normal the last time I looked at it. Why is it blank now? Or it’s not the photo of the “Jellyfish” florist? Did I bring the wrong photo? But there’s Mr. Ilves’ writing here…
Emil was silent, looking at her earnestly. His eyes were a little sad, contained sympathy and understanding as if saying “I told you so” and “I’ve been through this before”. Tuuli was dazed for a moment, then she sighed:
- I guess what you said is true. So what did Mr. Ilves do for nearly a year? Where did he stay and who was the woman named Juliette Janssens that he met?
She shivered slightly;
- May… maybe he met a ghost? Should it be something spiritual and mysterious like that?
Emil said slowly:
- I have also been thinking and trying to come up with some explanation for this mystery. If any theory goes against your beliefs or upsets you, I apologize in advance. One of the explanations is, like you just said, Mr. Ilves met a ghost. To put it more flowery, he met a spirit. As far as I know, when Mrs. Janssens departed from this life, she still held many regrets and sadness in her heart which weight down her soul. Maybe after her death, her restless soul still lingered and wandered around here. She created the illusion of a flower shop, which was her and her lover’s greatest wish to partially satisfy her heart’s unfulfilled desires. Based on what is popularly believed, Mr. Ilves’ soul was linked to Mrs. Janssens’ soul, maybe because they had some things in common or the same kind of soul energy? That was why he could see her and anything whose existence depended on her energy. Or he had come into contact with Mrs. Janssens’ soul through some ‘conductor’ that acted as a good path, a connection that helped him see and interact with that invisible florist. This “conductor” can be something that Mrs. Janssens was attached to, where her memories and energy were strong, something that attracted her, or a spiritual object that helped break down spiritual barriers, bringing the physical universe and spiritual worlds together. There are so many things like that. I don’t have a lot of knowledge on this subject so I can’t list them all. Another assumption is that there is nothing mystical or spiritual here. That flower shop was real. But the flower shop we’ve been looking for all the time and the flower shop “Jellyfish” that Mr. Ilves went to are two completely different flower shops. In other words, our search went wrong from the start. Sounds pretty confusing, right? I’ll try to make it as easy to understand as possible. The real owner of the flower shop “Jellyfish” and the person named Juliette Janssens that I went to inquire about were two different people. That means the person we’ve been looking for died before 1947 and the real owner whom Mr. Ilves met was still alive at that time. Maybe the reason for our confusion was because the two of them had the same name, there were errors in the documents, or the owner of the florist stealthily changed information related to her identity. During the war, it wasn’t uncommon for documents to have errors or be lost or someone changed personal information and was still able to escape the government’s notice. As for the “Jellyfish” flower shop, maybe Mr. Ilves remembered incorrectly some details about that shop, such as its name or location. The florist also had undergone so many changes that no one, not even those who have lived in this neighborhood for a long time, can remember it anymore. It may have been destroyed or relocated by now. Regarding the business documents, it might also be lost, the information was wrong. The shop’s registered name on the document was originally a different name, but it was later changed to “Jellyfish” before Mr. Ilves arrived. Combining a lot of coincidences, we have this hypothesis that the flower shop we’ve been founding and the one Mr.Ilves went to are two different florists. The third hypothesis is everything was caused by some kind of psychological phenomena, such as hallucinations, paranoia, false memories, etc. Mr. Ilves was mentally unstable at that time, not to mention he had just gone through a tiring journey, both physically and mentally. All of the hypotheses I just mentioned, maybe none of them are true, but it is also possible that more than two occur simultaneously. But I prefer to explain this story this way: That flower shop could only be seen by people who have suffered a lot of hurt and trauma in life. “Jellyfish” would be like a stop on the road of life, helping those people heal their souls and giving them the strength to keep moving forward. After completing its mission, it would disappear without a trace. It only existed in the hearts of those who had been healed by it.
Emil smiled, added:
- If you think about this story that way, wasn’t Mrs. Janssens more of an angel than a ghost? Maybe her wish was not only to build the flower shop but also not to let anyone die yet still held a wounded heart like her. And she lingered here to take care of her dreams…
Tuuli said softly:
- Yes. I think I agree with you.
Emil smiled:
- I used to think about this mystery a lot. But later on, I didn’t think I should impose my thoughts on things like this. Humans often create beliefs because we don’t like believing that the universe is random. But I believe it is the unexpected coincidences that make life so beautiful and meaningful. Besides, no matter how much you think about it, it won’t do you any good. I still can’t tell which hypothesis is correct or find “Jellyfish”. So I just want to think that “Jellyfish” is a beautiful and magical thing that not everyone can reach.
Tuuli nodded. The two sat in silence for a long time. Tuuli’s heart was filled with so many emotions right now. This story was mysterious, magical, touching, and warm but also sad. She felt her mind become drowsy like a sleepwalker. Now she couldn’t tell what was real and what was a dream. Were this meeting and this man a dream? Or was this life itself a dream?
Finally, Emil said:
- Do you want to leave now? We’ve been sitting here for quite some time.
Tuuli seemed to wake up from the endless stream of thoughts. She said softly:
- Yes. Let’s go.
Leaving the coffee shop, Tuuli asked:
- What are you going to do? Perhaps you will return here in the future?
- I plan to return home the day after tomorrow. It was a blessing to meet you today. I also gained a lot of information and felt comforted when I saw someone like me. I gave up on finding “Jellyfish”, I just come back here every year as a way of remembering my granduncle and filling up my unsatisfied feelings. Then I met you. Thanks to you I could find something more important than the flower shop for my late granduncle. And yes, I’m still going to come back here in the years to come.
Emil had just finished speaking when the two of them heard a group of children passing by talking to each other:
- Guess what? The vacant lot located between two houses near the intersection has already been bought. I heard people are going to build a house there.
- That means we lost our place to play?
- Yeah. What a pity!
Emil and Tuuli were stunned. They quickly returned to that vacant lot, staring blankly at the sunny ground. She didn’t know what Emil was thinking. But Tuuli herself was amazed because she wasn’t angry nor sad at all. She just stood there, calmly looking at the place more than half a century ago was a flower shop in dreams. In her heart, a strange feeling of peace and happiness appeared, as if the wish of Tuuli and someone important to her had been fulfilled, as if she met an old friend. Her soul felt like a dry land watered by the rain. The monsoon blew up the rustling dry leaves. Her feelings and Mr. Ilves’ sentimental words like ripples stirred her soul, like the clear sound of a crystal bell ringing on hot summer midday. She plucked a bunch of wildflowers and placed them on a small mossy rock in the middle of the vacant lot, where a shrub of purple lavender grew, smiling and whispering:
- Thank you.
She stood up, turned to Emil, and asked:
- In the future, this land will not be the same. Will you still come back here?
Emil smiled, looked in the direction of the lavender shrub swaying in the wind, his voice seemed to send to some distant place:
- Probably not. Not because I feel like I’ve lost my goal or anything, but because there’s no need for me to come back here anymore. Maybe they were all reunited somewhere else…
Emil is a name I chose based on my favorite character from my favorite game. Tuuli is the name of my aph Tallinn OC. Her name was suggested by a lovely Estonian Hetalian :3
Finally done! ^^ I know this chapter is long and confusing, plus my bad English :/ But I’m glad I finished it and even came up with a plot twist. At first, from the time I started building the plot until chapter 7, I still didn’t intend to add a plot twist or add a mystical and fantasy element. This story was originally just a normal romantic and angsty story. It should have ended in chapter 8. But I suddenly thought that it was too boring. Then I wrote this ^^ It took a lot of effort to write this multichapter fic, but it also brought me a lot of pleasure. I feel low-key proud when I can contribute something to my OTP and bias. Maybe in the future, I will rewrite this fic, when I come up with more ideas, improve my writing skills or improve my English haha.
APH Estonia Week Day 2: AU Flower Shop, Belgium, mentions of DenEst, hints of NethBel (I headcanon they are not siblings)
Chap 8: Lavenders
Hiding a bright flower bud in a handkerchief
The beautiful girl hesitantly went to the neighbor’s house
There was one over there that would go to war tomorrow
There was one over there that would go far away tomorrow.
——
She held the flower quietly
Hoping its fragrant would send the message
Neither of them dared to speak
Bidding adieu saying nothing…
——
He marched into the fire
The scent silently followed steps…
*****
The two of them kept on sitting on the cold floor like that, not knowing how much time had passed. There were still tears falling down in silence. But the burden on Kalev and Juliette’s hearts was miraculously relieved, did it disappear with the flow of tears?
The next evening, when Juliette had got home, Kalev decided to write Matthias a letter. He read and went over his long letter, again and again, weighing it down, adding and subtracting words before he took a deep breath and stuffed it into the envelope. His hand had already shaken with emotion from the moment he picked up the pen and wrote the first word, now it was even shakier when he wrote Matthias’ name in the recipient address, even though he tried to force his hand to write succinctly. He decided to tell Matthias all that harbored in his heart that bothered him, the difficulties he had to go through, the bad thoughts that once surrounded him, what he wanted himself to deal with instead of running away, and many more things. He also didn’t forget to say how much he loves Mathias, sorry for not sending any letter and reassure him with a promise that he could face any life’s challenge and they would surely meet again. Hesitating for a moment, he decided to add a branch of dried lavender to the envelope. Kalev didn’t know whether he was right or wrong, he also couldn’t puff his chest to judge other people, he simply lived his own life. What would happen, what would be lost, how the past was, how the future would be, everyone had to think about those things, but just didn’t think too much. From now on, he just went step by step and moved forward. Kalev drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep that he hadn’t had in a long time.
Kalev thought about how he couldn’t stay here forever but one day, he would have to return to his homeland. However, he didn’t feel as lost or scared as he had thought he would have been because he was now ready to return to his normal life. This shop was no longer a place for him to hide but rather a place where he could share his joys and sorrows with a girl who was always ready to laugh with him, ready to hear him cry and share with him every corner of her heart. When he left, it would be his beautiful memory, a ray of light that always encouraged him, made him believe in good things no matter what life brought him.
One morning, Juliette arrived at the store earlier than usual. Kalev immediately brought out a box of pastries that he had bought at the bakery, which, as far as he knew, was the best bakery in the neighborhood:
- These pastries are not as delicious as those you make, but this is a thank you gift, so I hope you will accept it. - He bowed his head - I value the help you’ve given me.
Juliette looked at him for a moment, seemingly surprised.
“Thank you.” She took the box of pastries but didn’t smile. Kalev saw that deep under those spring-like eyes, a few ripples of light vibrated.
Curious, Kalev was about to ask if she was tired but she interrupted:
- From now on, you can handle everything on your own, right? You can deal with every bad thing that happens. You are really okay now, aren’t you?
Kalev frowned in confusion. The way Juliette talked was usually different from other people, but this time there was something even more strange. She remained silent, looking at him waiting for an answer. Thinking for a moment, he said determinedly:
- I don’t know if I can handle all the problems, and I’m not sure I’ll always stand strong. But I won’t run away, I will believe in myself.
She froze, staring at him, her clear green eyes darkening. Then she suddenly brought her hand up to his chest, placing it on the place of his heart. He startled and stumbled backward, his head hit a plant rack, his head felt hurt enough to bring tears to his eyes. Juliette looked at him groaning, laughing:
- It’s just my good luck ritual. Like the witch bestowed good luck on Dorothy.
“What’s with that witch and Dorothy here?” Kalev froze, his mind suddenly became confused, words evaporated from his brain. He wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, the doorbell at the shop’s door rang. It was the first time he’d heard it ring at such a right time. Juliette hastily turned to the door to welcome the guest. She still gave that guest the same greeting she used to greet him the first time they met. He stood still, remembering the first day they met. How quickly time passed. Or maybe humans could be nostalgic for anything, even if it happened not too long ago, as long as it meant something to their hearts.
*****
At the beginning of next summer, Kalev decided to return to his homeland.
Standing at the train station, he thought he could say as many things to Juliette as anyone should before parting. But in the end, because he was so emotional, he couldn’t say much. The two of them just stood quietly next to each other. He wondered what Juliette was thinking at that moment. Was she sad? Would she like to see him again? As for him, there was a moment the wish “if only time would stand still” flashed through his mind. He couldn’t remember what the surroundings were like. In his memory, everything seemed to turn into an oil painting where all the colors and things were mixed together, shimmering with the sun’s light, only her face was the most clearly visible - bright, beautiful, and full of emotions like the focal point of the painting. His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the siren ring out to announce the train was about to leave. He quickly grabbed his bag and got on the train, stammered:
- Ah…uhm…so… I’m leaving now. Thank you for everything. I hope one day we will meet again. I wish you all the best. Goodbye.
Juliette called back before he fully stepped into the train, she put a packet of lavender seeds in his hand, smiling softly:
- Kalev… Never give up. You deserve to be happy. Hope all good things will come to you. Don’t forget to give my best regards to your lover and father. Goodbye.
She stopped for a moment before quietly saying:
- And please, don’t forget me…
He froze, his heart twisted. Why did her voice make him feel so regretful? Why did he feel like this was a permanent parting? But he couldn’t stay no matter what. He bowed his head as a thank you, clutched the bag of flower seeds, and hurried into the carriage. His chest began to pound, his feet clattered together, and even though he couldn’t see it, he was sure his eyes were a little wet. Then suddenly he stopped in the middle of the carriage, reaching out his hand to touch his left chest, feeling at that moment, there was both bitter taste and a small ray of sunshine shining through his heart.
The train slowly left the station. Juliette’s figure was still there, getting smaller and dimmer until it completely disappeared.
The one who went away brought along many memories and left there a piece of his soul, his longing eyes looked back forever…
*****
Finally, he came back home. The deserted house had become somewhat desolate, but it didn’t look so sad and scary as when he left. On the contrary, in his heart arose a feeling of joy and affection like anyone who had returned home after a long journey. He put the seeds from Juliette’s pack in a cream-colored pot, put it by the window and named it J. Someone asked him what that name meant. He answered without hesitation: J was from “Jellyfish”. He just didn’t reveal that J was also from “Juliette”. Every now and then, he would tell J some random stories. He jumped from one subject to another and his stories often ended up going nowhere. After all, he burst into laughter when he realized he was talking to a plant.
*****
Not long after his journey back home, he received a letter from his father, announcing that he was about to return home. The moment Kalev saw his father standing at the door - completely safe and sound - he seemed to burst with happiness. So did his father. It had been a long time since he saw his father’s smile. His smile was genuine and comfortable. The two of them talked a lot, so much that he couldn’t remember them all, he just remembered when his father saw a cream-colored pot of lavender in his room, he asked:
“Lavender?” - Kalev saw a flash of emotion in his father’s eyes, but soon after that this fleeting moment, he smiled:
“Let’s take care of it as well as everything in this house together. Let’s start with cleaning, shall we? Your mother never liked clutter.”
Chapters 1 through 8 of this fic take place between 1947 and 1949. After the second world war, it was still fairly easy to migrate from the eastern regions to Germany. Only from 1950 onward did the Soviet Union adopt tightening measures to combat the growing wave of border crossings. Therefore, it was not impossible for Kalev to leave and come back.
Writing a story with a historical element is not easy. I often have to double-check for any absurdities or historical inaccuracies. But I am very happy and feel excited. I think this is a fun and poetic way to learn history.
I realize with all the events, characters and setting of this fic, I can write a whole long side-story about NethBel. But I’m so tired of writing multi-chapter fics that it will probably be a while before I can continue. But I will always remind myself to write as soon as I can.
The story seems to have come to an end but actually, there is 1 more chapter left before it really ends. Writing the beginning and end of a story is always a challenge, I hope I can write a satisfying ending ^^
I hope I didn’t mess the poem up or mess up the story with the poem. I just hope it is not too bad, not too out of place or too cheesy ‘ ‘;
APH Estonia Week Day 2: AU Flower Shop, Belgium, mentions of DenEst, hints of NethBel (I headcanon they are not siblings)
Chap 7: Poppies
Clutching the notebook tightly in his hand, Kalev collapsed in a heap in a corner behind the cashier. His soul fell into pieces, splattered on the cold floor. Juliette stepped forward, looked at him in surprise but remained silent. After all the time since his mother’s funeral, for the first time, Kalev cried. Not to mention he cried in front of a stranger. He forgot there was a snowstorm tonight so Juliette couldn’t go home. But now nothing mattered anymore, the emotions that had been pent up in his heart popped like a balloon inflated with water. Dropping his face on his knees, he sobbed loudly like a baby, cried as he’d never cried before. His chest ached. In front of a person who had stripped off all protective layers like him, Juliette said nothing. She didn’t give any word of comfort or encouragement, just went back and forth to clean the shop as she did every day. After a while she said:
- What would you like for dinner? May I treat you? There’s a pretty good restaurant just around the corner. Or do you want to eat dessert? I’ll make one for you. But I don’t think it’s good to have dessert for dinner.
Kalev didn’t answer, his handkerchief soaked up with tears, his hands shaking violently. Did he look pathetic, or did he look scary? Juliette propped the mop against the wall and sat down next to him.
- I’m sorry. – He stammered
- Why?
- I don’t know. Maybe because I’m like this.
- You don’t need to apologize for crying.
Pausing for a moment, then Juliette said:
- Look, I really don’t know what you should do. I just know things are difficult for you. I don’t want to say hollow comforting words. But I can listen to you, as long as it makes you feel better. Just tell me whatever you want and you’ll feel better. As long as you permit me to, I can sit here forever just to hear you cry.
Kalev looked down at his hands, which were clutching the notebook so tightly that they were bruised:
- Why did you hire me to work here? - He whispered, noticing that his voice was breaking
She answered without hesitation;
- Because the first time I saw you, I thought your eyes were as lonely and helpless as if you had just been thrown into the bottomless universe.
He looked up at Juliette, her face became blurred with his teary eyes. He hesitated for a moment, then he started talking about his family, about things that happened so quickly that he couldn’t resist and wanted to collapse, about his father who was forced to leave and about how he was left alone in the middle of a mess. He felt lonely but couldn’t cry, he had to be strong to continue living, but it only made him more tired. Like a puppet that tried to put on fake smiles for a long time, he ended up falling down to the ground when the curtain fell. He choked on his voice. His words became choppy, mixed with sobs. He couldn’t make any clear and coherent sentences, but Juliette still listened patiently. Outside, the wind was still howling, and the heavy snowflakes kept on falling. He also told her about Matthias, about how he loved him, about the terrible night that had separated them, and about how selfish and cowardly he was because he still didn’t dare to send Matthias a proper letter. After talking for a while, he suddenly stopped, raised his head to look at Juliette, hesitantly asked:
- Don’t you hate me or at least find it strange that I was in love with a man?
- No, love is always a precious feeling no matter what.
She gently added:
- It’s good that in this cruel world, two people still glow in their beautiful love. And…it’s good that there’s still a chance for them to see each other again, as long as they still love each other.
In the last sentence, her voice seemed to slip…
- I’m sorry for crying and bothering you.
- No, I’m glad I could help you. Moreover, I think those who dare to cry are the bravest ones. They don’t need to try to deceive anyone, including themselves, but bravely face their own feelings.
Suddenly, Kalev saw from Juliette’s deep emerald eyes, clear tears ran down, her face was slightly contorted with emotion:
- As for me…I’m not brave yet.
But then Juliette shrugged lightly, wiping her tears away with her hand. But Kalev took her hand, pulling it gently towards him. Both of them were startled. “Why do I suddenly hold a lady’s hand? This is not appropriate and not something for someone like me” But he decided not to shove Juliette’s hand away but to gently lift his fingers up. Now his hand barely touched hers. He said:
- I would be happy if I could do anything to help you feel better. From the moment I first saw you, I also vaguely sensed a hidden sadness in your heart. I care about you and want to help, especially when you’ve already helped me so much. Whatever you want to talk about, I’ll listen.
Juliette nodded slightly and quietly said “Thank you”. After a while, she spoke up:
- Have you ever wondered why I am Belgian but opened my flower shop in Germany? My lover is Dutch. He went to war and hasn’t returned since the day the Second World War ended. I have not heard from him either. I’m still waiting with the hope that he will return one day. I want to stay in the closest place to the border of all the three countries so that wherever he is, I can be as close to him as possible.
At this point, Juliette burst into tears. Tears ran down like small streams on her pretty face. Now she was just like he was before, her words jumbled up with emotion and mixed with sobs and shivers from her crying. But he managed to catch all of her words. She once had it all: the unconditional love of her family, someone special to love with all her heart, and living conditions of great comfort and wealth. The war came and brought destruction. It destroyed the house she had been attached to since her childhood, her happy family and her everything. Her father and brothers all joined the army, not only to protect their country but also to protect the people they loved. She also signed up to be a volunteer nurse. The day her family went into the war, they said goodbye to each other with a promise “We will all return together”, many prayers, and many tears. Since the day she became part of the war, she had never escaped the screams of pain from the soldiers, unable to avoid her eyes from the horrible wounds and the disfigured faces showing the fight with pain and death, the smell of blood and the stench rose from the bodies lying at her feet because there wasn’t enough bed, both dead and alive… so much that sometimes she thought she was going to be crazy or trapped forever in a terrible nightmare. It was painful since she knew there was nothing much she could do to ease their pain, many times she even had to choose who would be saved and who would be left to die. She heard many stories and dreams, most of them would never come true. The most painful thing was that she knew all the soldiers were someone’s son, brother, lover, or husband. Sometimes Juliette wonders in a panic, what if among those bodies, she found a familiar face of her loved ones? The reality was as cruel and terrible as a horrible painting with chaotic colors of bombs, smoke, fire, and blood, haunting her even in her sleep. She thought she wouldn’t be able to bear it… Finally, the war ended, Belgium and its allies gained the victory. But it was a painful victory, everyone shared the great pains of losses and everything was damaged. She returned home with a bleeding heart and a soul crushed by war. Standing in what used to be her house, before her eyes was only a pile of rubble, the beautiful old house left with nothing but a pile of rubble indistinguishable from many other piles of bricks lying around. A once beautiful, busy city now was in ruins like a gray ghost. She had to wander through many cities and towns, only to find her mother in a small village in the countryside. But after all those events, her mother’s spirit completely broke down. She just sat in one place all day with empty eyes. All the joys inside her mọther were dead, everything inside her was dead. She just lived like an empty shell that if it ever contained anything, it would only be endless sadness and despair. Neither her father nor her brothers returned. The promise of coming back together now was just a memory, a seemingly small dream yet so far away. She could not earn a living if she had to stay at home to take care of her mother. Besides, her house had been destroyed completely, so she had no other choice but to go to a relative’s house in Germany. At first, she thought she could never set foot on the enemy’s land, let alone live in it. But in the end, what she kept in her heart was not hatred, only an endless sadness, because she understood, maybe no land or country was to blame for wars. Only a few people were guilty, the rest were just victims. If there was anything to blame, she could only blame the childishness of mankind, after all these years of history, humans still hadn’t become real adults. She had to accept the truth that at some point in the flow of time, bad things would happen as a fact of life. In Germany, she opened a flower shop. Then she talked about the person she loved. Now she would occasionally smile through her tears. This flower shop was arranged to resemble the paintings her lover painted:
- I still remember how my lover loves flowers. How was it possible not to love a man who seemed so cold and blunt but could spend all day in the garden and be heartbroken to see a tulip plucked from a branch? He taught me many things about gardening. He always wished we could open a flower shop. Together we would live in peace for the rest of the days…
He froze, lost in thought and lost in the sadness that was enveloping both him and her.
Once there was war and dictatorship, in the end, there would only be destruction and suffering, no matter which side you were on or whether it was West or East.
After a long time of silence, when her small choked and sobs had faded, Juliette spoke first, staring blankly at a small potted plant:
- I think you should write a letter to your lover. – she paused for a moment – At least the two of you have a chance to meet again. He needs to know how his lover is, needs something to know his waiting is justified. As for your family… I’m so sorry and please, believe me, I understand how great your pain is. I have a hunch your father is fine. As for your mother, you know, even though your mother is gone, those who are still alive must continue to live. It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to miss her, but there’s no reason to make the life of those who live worse because of the loss. Besides, your mother said she would be very sad to see her loved ones unhappy. I believe she is watching over you and your father.
Juliette touched his hand which was still shaking as if he had a fever.
She intertwined her long thin fingers and squeezed his hand as if to say “just go ahead and cry”
- I don’t promise everything will be okay, but I promise no matter how bad things get, I will still be by your side. That’s all.
Then she added:
- Do you hate or despise me for crying?
Kalev was surprised by Juliette’s question but he immediately shook his head vigorously. How he could hate someone like her? Not by any stretch of the imagination.
- No, not at all. After listening to your confide, I’m even more grateful and appreciate your kindness and resilience.
- See? I know you won’t, I’m sure when you see me cry. you have the same feelings as me when I see you cry. So please, don’t hide your feelings. Don’t feel ashamed or disappointed in yourself just because you cry or feel depressed at times
He said awkwardly, feeling like every word was stuck in his throat. He felt that there were no words that were enough to express all his gratitude and sympathy.
- Thank you. I’m so sorry about what you and your family had to go through. I’m always here when you need me.
She simply said:
- Thanks for listening. I appreciate you sticking with me.
This is just my rant (long and maybe nonsense, again. You can ignore it). With the war between Russia and Ukraine, I feel sad for Ukraine but I also feel sad for most of the Russian people. I cried when I watched videos or read the news about Russians protesting against the war, despite being persecuted or Russian soldiers saying that they missed their families, etc. I was touched when I saw how the Ukrainians treated Russian prisoners. Of course, not everyone is innocent, (more specifically those who caused, supported, or participated in this war) but I believe many people on both sides don’t want war at all. I also love countries like Russia and China with their legacies, but unfortunately, they choose the expansionist approach and threaten other countries instead of friendship and cooperation. It is even sadder when the countries and people they oppress the most are the ones who are closest to them, which can be considered their brothers and sisters in many ways.
As said in a previous post, with the situation in Ukraine, I felt it was not the right time to make posts about my fantasies about countries, even if they were not related to the current events. But now I have changed my mind. I think it is fine if my works can express my mood and point of view without offending or hurting anyone or using real current events to be its material. Besides, few people read my fanfics, so I consider this as a place where I can pour my heart onto my stories and art and let my imagination run wild. If my writings or rants go a little deeper into controversial issues, I hope they don’t hurt anyone.
As Thomas Jefferson said: “War is as much a punishment to the punisher as to the sufferer” I hope the war will end, victory will not belong to just anyone but to the right and everyone can lead their lives in peace and happiness.
Since I had nothing better to do yesterday, with the lockdown and all, I decided to spend my day working in MMD. I was very happy with how my last attempt at making a high-quality picture came out, and was inspired to do it again. I had recently got ahold of Ryo’s model kits for nononoP’s Belgium, and I have to say this one is by far my favourite! (Seriously, I want that dress! ) And I thought “I should show this off–why not make a cute little SpaBel thing while I’m at it?”
Now, I’m not really a massive SpaBel shipper (personally I prefer to keep Belgium single, but I would absolutely support this pairing if it ever got canonised) but I do find this pairing to be quite adorable. I certainly like it better than Spamano (Yeah……I’m not a fan of that…..sorry)
(And before you ask, yes I had that classic Lady and the Tramp song in my head while I was making this ) Also 19 April is a national holiday in Belgium, which is why I decided to post this today!
I was going to add Netherlands and Luxembourg in the background, but when I did that, they just….looked too out of place. So I just stuck with these two.
It Will Rain || “So This is Heartache…" RomaBelspecial >>~Reconstructed Story~ >>Illustrations from: セーラー服と機関銃 >>Artists: いきるand ナオト >>Inspired by the song: Heartache|| One Ok Rock
