#aromantic allosexual

urpurplehairedsage:

MASTERLIST OF ALLOAROS TO FOLLOW

A few months ago, I asked all alloaros to leave a , creating some sort of masterlist of all my alloaro besties in the comments.

The post is quite long, so reblogging it seems like a pain so I decided to make an updated version of that list!

I’ll divide the post between alloaros who post alloaro content, and alloaros who only do so occasionally, or not at all.

If you don’t see yourself or someone you know that is alloaro in here, please feel free to leave a in the comments, so that I can add you to the list

Alloaros who frequently post (allo)aro content:

@urpurplehairedsage

@arospecvibes

@arosuggestions

@disasterdemi

@my-sex-journal

@entropy-sea-system

@alloaroworlds

@aro-but-not-ace

@arrow-allo

@aroallo-culture-is

@42-clocks

@hufflesexual

@aro-prince-aj

@lovequeerindigo

Alloaros who occasionally post (allo)aro content:

@probablynotsamantha

@yodamordecai

@gltzgghln

@silver-of-dragons

@elliot-the-bi-and-aro-frog

@moody-b1tch

@crimetimecrow

@homonoromo

@solaropunk

@aimlesswalker

@godmodebeginswithlesbians

@elvandork

@down-diabolical

@charliepants

@vvero-the-eel

@aromothman

@polteageistmlm

@menfucker

Alloaros who don’t post (allo)aro content, but are cool to follow and sexy regardless:

@jupitrr

@sapphicspaceranger

@trashcatohtrashcat

@chaos-otter

@mariko-san

@kacielis

@mothmans-sexy-lamp

@gates-to-del

@montygolfz

Anyways, let’s go alloaros~! Please reblog to help alloaros find each other easier, hopefully we don’t have to scavenge this site for hours anymore once this list gets long enough

-Y.

anagnori:

An odd thing I noticed, while studying aromantic allosexual stereotypes, is that aromanticism is frequently used as a device to “debase” sexuality or make it appear inferior. In both fiction and real life, the implication that someone is sexually active but aromantic is almost always intended to degrade that person’s sexuality.

The word “aromantic” itself doesn’t actually come up when this happens, because most people don’t even know what a “romantic orientation” is. But the concept of aromanticism is well-established in Western culture - it’s just that it’s almost always attached to another stereotype or stigma, or it’s treated as a character defect.

For example, most people are aware of the “predatory gay” stereotype. It’s the homophobic idea that gay people target poor hapless heterosexuals, especially heterosexual children, and molest them / emasculate them / convert them into more gay folks. The stereotype is based on the assumption that same-gender relationships are fundamentally different from heterosexual relationships, and this difference is a lack of romantic attachment or love.

On the other hand, pro-LGBT campaigns, posters and activists make a point of emphasizing the “love” aspect of same-gender relationships. They say things like “love is love,” and “the freedom to love,” while downplaying or ignoring the sexual aspect of these relationships.

You can find similar things in negative stereotypes about bisexuals, pansexuals, women with many sexual partners, and people of color. Bisexual and pansexual people are often wrongly stereotyped as being promiscuous, more likely to cheat, and less sincere in their romantic commitments. Their sexuality is acknowledged, but they are not seen as romantic, and this lack of romance is treated as a flaw that debases the rest of their sexuality. For women with many sexual partners, you need only remember “slut-shaming.” The sexuality of these women is treated negatively because it is not associated with a monogamous romantic relationship. They are perceived as sexual but not romantic, and this makes their sexuality a target of scorn. People of color are sometimes stereotyped as hypersexual*; but again, the sexuality is disconnected from any romantic associations, and this is treated as a negative quality. The presence of sexuality without romance is considered lesser or disreputable compared to sexuality withromance.

(*There are also a lot of other ways racism attacks people’s sexuality, but that’s not really the point of this essay, and I’m not qualified to discuss racism in depth anyway.)

Even if we’re not talking about stereotypes, but individual people or characters, aromanticism is treated as a pretty awful thing. In fiction, the success of an intimate relationship depends upon reciprocated romantic and sexual feelings; if one character in an intimate relationship is revealed to not be romantically attracted to the other, the non-romantic character is automatically seen as a manipulative, lying, heartless villain. (Or, if they get the sympathetic point-of-view, the relationship will be revealed to be a sham in some other way.) Meanwhile, the development of romantic feelings is given far more sympathy and depth by authors than the development of sexual but non-romantic feelings. The ideal relationship is treated as romantic and sexual, while non-romantic sexual relationships are treated as inferior and unfulfilling.

The English language itself reflects the difference in our culture’s attitudes. Compare the connotations of the words “love” and “lust.” “Falling in love with” someone is a big deal. It’s positive and special.But “lusting after” someone is almost dirty; it is treated as shallow, selfish, and relatively meaningless. When preachers warn about the dangers of “temptation” from the opposite sex*, they are always referring to sexual attraction, not romantic attraction, because sex without romance is seen as dirty, but romance without sex is celebrated as “chaste” and “waiting until marriage.” There is a dignity accorded to romantic emotions that is not granted to sexual attraction.

(*Of course, there are more than two genders, and not everyone is attracted to “the opposite sex” in the first place, but preachers tend to forget about that. And conservatism isn’t exactly kind to romantic asexuals, either.)

Aromanticism is used as a tool to denigrate sexuality across a wide range of people and demographics. Merely associating aromantic feelings or behavior with an active sex life is enough to make the entirety of a person’s sexuality appear negative. The only conclusion I can draw is that aromanticism is considered so horrible, that associating it with sexuality is enough to make that sexuality appear lesser, debased, disreputable or dysfunction in most people’s eyes. Allosexual aromantic people constantly receive messages that their sexual feelings are inferior or wrong, and needs to be fixed by falling in love. (The pressure is greatest for aromantic women, but applies to all genders to some degree.) And the worst part is that, even after all this, aromanticism is still not acknowledged as a phenomenon or orientation in its own right, but is merely considered a defect within another sexual orientation or sexual lifestyle.

Asexual aromantic people tend to receive a different set of toxic prejudices, which are closely linked to anti-asexual stereotypes. But anti-aromantic sentiment affects them, too. The lionization of romantic sentiment is so pervasive, and non-romantic relationships are so commonly treated as lesser, that asexual aromantic people may be inclined to see their own emotions and relationships as inferior to their culture’s romantic norm.

Amatonormativity is not just “romantic relationships are treated as more important than friendships.” There is an active, hostile stigma against aromanticism, and this stigma is distinct from anti-asexual prejudice.

Aroallo + sunsets + trees for @heckie-dot-net!!

Sources:

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Hm it’s been a while since I said this so:

Alloaros are amazing and they aren’t doing anything wrong by experiencing attraction the way they do

Alloaro men aren’t fuckboys

Alloaro women aren’t sluts

Alloaro trans people aren’t hypersexualizing transness

Alloaro transfems aren’t predatory

Alloaro mspecs aren’t responsible for the sexualization of mspec orientations

Alloaro lesbians and gay men are neither predatory nor sexualizing themselves

Alloaros aren’t sexualizing their other identities

Alloaros aren’t predatory or dirty or shameful

Alloaros are actually fantastic and if you’re alloaro I hope you have an equally fantastic day

aspecpplarebeautiful:

The Liar’s Guide to the Night Sky

If anyone’s looking for some good allosexual-aro rep, i just finished The Liar’s Guide to the Night Sky last night, and absolutely loved Jonah. Who is one of the main characters and pan, aro and polyam.

The book is about two characters trying to survive on a mountain after a mudslide and being separated from the rest of their group when they go try to find help.

“Shoutout to aros with mad hoes(me)”

Redbubble, Commissions,DNI proshippers/antiantis/queerphobes/etc in link, Hawks said Happy Pride to aros, specifically×

Pov your repulsed bird protege finds out you’re also aromantic but then somehow thinks you’re ace too

Redbubble, Commissionsopen, DNI proshippers/antiantis/queerphobes/etc in link, happy pride!!

[ID: Digital comic consisting of Tokoyami Fumikage and Keigo Takami from My Hero Academia. A headshot of Tokoyami says “Romance gross” in black text, the next panel is a headshot of Keigo leaning forward and saying “Yes” and in smaller yellow text “I’m listening”, the third panel is Tokoyami replying “Sex also gross”, and the fourth panel is of Keigo wide eyed with an ellipsis and the words “alloaro silence” beside him. The fifth panel is Keigo leaning back and replying, “We are not the same. And that’s okay.” Around each image is the username Rolaplayor101. /End ID]