#beliefs

you are the architect of a thousand worlds

  and he is the brainchild of suspended belief

tied with miracles at midnight.

you are the conqueror and he is the battlefield

   body laid out on the e x p a n s e of satin sheets

just waiting for you to bring him to ruin.

you are a girl and he is a boy and there’s nothing

   stopping you from gripping him by his lapels and tugging

him down to your level so you can confess.

you are what the stories remember as weak

   he is what the stories remember as unattainable

and the only thing stopping you is yourself.

Eid Mubarak to the Muslim world. Please pray for tolerance and unity.

This week i wanted to talk about a common theme that is expressed in my new Book Awaken Your Power to Manifest, the power of Self-Belief. 

I could seriously talk to you all day about the power of self-belief. But the main thing i want to bring up today is this. 

A common mistake I see happen a lot when people go to manifest is they are not actually working on Changing their beliefs – they are only focused on ‘feelings’ or they are only focused on visualizing.  

Self-Belief is at the heart of all of that. A long time ago my previous mentor gave me a quote that has stood with me to this day and its this: 

“If the mind doesn’t believe, the feeling can’t live in the body.”  

Sooo What comes first: The chicken or the egg?
the feeling or the belief?

Many will argue – feelings are first, I need to feel good, i need to raise my vibe, i need to feel the feelings, but are they really?

If the mind doesn’t believe, the feeling can’t even live in the body where our magnetism occurs…So in this regard – Let’s look at it like this: 

If I don’t believe i’m worthy of the thing or that the desire is possible how can i possibly *feel* worthy? 

Or If i don’t believe i’m enough as i am or i’m in disbelief with the desire existing for me, how can i possibly feel *abundant* with the desire?! 

No wonder its so hard to feel abundant when believing abundance is impossible – 

But if I feel the feelings of it already being real but at the same time I don’t know if i believe that it exists and is available for me…what occurs then? 

The mind-body disconnect. 

Its a conundrum! 

Does anyone else’s brain think like this? lol 

So in this week’s video drop, let’s talk about what actually makes an affirmation work like magic 

When it comes to learning manifestation techniques you soon find out that affirmations are a bit of their own art form.

We have to ask ourselves questions like ‘Does this word actually serve me, how could I word this a little bit more clearly?”

Am I unconsciously using words that promote lack or an inbetween state of desire?

I am soo not the person that is rote writing the same affirmations down on repeat – It’s a stream of consciousness practice that allows me to look for supportive beliefs that help my manifestation process.

Today i’m sharing with you some of my top favorite affirmations to work with to help you believe.

Let’s dive in, tune in and watch the full convo below: 

(Sidenote; Anyone watching WandaVision? That show is soo cool, it really displays the power of Manifestation and thoughts create reality) 

___

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Sending love, abundance and blessings, 

Affirmations that Work like (BOOM)

This week i wanted to talk about a common theme that is expressed in my new Book Awaken Your Power to Manifest, the power of Self-Belief.  I could seriously talk to you all day about the power of self-belief. But the main thing i want to bring up today is this.  A common mistake I see happen a lot when people go to manifest […]

Conform
By: Christian Alexander Redden

Sorry I didn’t want to blend in
And follow the Shepherd
I wanted to be myself

Yes that may label me a black sheep
But is that not what we are taught in school and by our government

We are all to take our own path
But yet to the majority
We need to be the same
One thought one mind

Well not me
I want to be who I want
I want to be great
But yet society has taught us differently

So why let us choose our own path
If we all have the same outcome
The same pay
The same job almost

I didn’t want to drink the Kool-Aid
I didn’t want to blend in
I wanted to be an individual
Not a group

I want my own label
I don’t consider myself an American
Cause why try being something you aren’t
So I became me

I taught myself how to do most things in life like tying, riding, and swimming
I didn’t have the luxury most kids had growing up

So why blend in when we can be any color we want to be
Why blend in when fashion teaches us to be unique and quirky
Why blend in when there are enough bullies in the world

We shouldn’t strive to be like the rest
But strive to be our best
And at most the grearest
We can’t blend in because it is against our nature
We strive to be unique because we want to be seen and heard
Not to be ignored and thrown down a well for the world to sit by and watch

We are different to make a difference
That’s why I am me and you are you
And sometimes there is a chance for we being we
But I guess I am wrong
Politically and socially
I guess I should blend in
And conform to societies outtakes
And to the governments laws and regulations

I just thought we could be different
Where skin, race, sex, religion, sexuality, and political stand points didn’t matter
Maybe we should conform
But what good is falling in line if that line leads to death

That’s why I, we, and all should strive to be the black sheep
To raise our kids not to hate but to appreciate what one another has done for the success of this world

Cause even if I don’t conform I can still change things from where I’m at
So no I won’t conform
Because I want to be me not we….

I know how dumb it sounds, it’s the reason I’ve never tried to explain it to anyone. I’m not sure I believe it myself. But I’ve always felt like I’m… someone else. Like I used to be a whole other person.

I don’t even know where to start with explaining it. More, I suppose, there are just a lot of things I can’t explain. There are just a lot of experiences and feelings I have that I can’t rationalise any other way (as if this is rational at all).

For one I’m afraid of things that have never really hurt me. Specifically knives. I have other fears, like deep water, given I’ve nearly drowned twice. And yet the fear I feel from that is nothing compared to knives. Its such a deep, visceral fear. I can’t stand to see someone hold one and face in my direction. Even a butter knife.

And at the same time, there are things I crave so badly. More than makes sense. All I want is to perform and to play guitar. It’s a feeling that’s followed me since I can remember and I’ve learnt to just push it down. Because I can’t do that. And because I would never succeed. But just like the knives, it’s such a deep feeling. Far stronger and more ingrained than anything else. I mean, I used to play basketball. I was pretty fucking good to be honest, for a while at least, and then I got a lot of injuries and I had to stop. So, I miss it. I wanted to try again for years until I did not long ago. But not once did my desire to do it come even close to this need to be on stage.

It’s not just a need to be on stage either. It’s as though my body can’t shake this belief that it knows how to play the guitar. I feel like I know how, no matter how many times I prove to myself the opposite. To pick one up feels so natural, and yet I’ve never managed to learn more than a few notes and my poor coordination removes any sort of musical flow. I know for sure that I have no particular musical talent, and yet my need to express myself with it, in a way I simply can’t, has always been so strong.

Plus, I’ve never felt like me. I’ve never felt comfortable in my body, in my identity. I mean, I know who I am and yes that person is by definition, trans. But it’s more than that. Yes, this body is wrong. But my name has always been wrong too and not just due to gender. I have never felt attached to any name. To myself, I am nameless. For the most part, I didn’t change my name due to its gendered connotations, I changed it because some shit experiences meant it was enough to trigger a fight-or-flight response. I hoped that maybe I’d feel more at home with a new name, but I don’t. I don’t hate it, but it isn’t truly me. None of them are. I don’t know what I’m really called. And yet again these feelings come from a place so deep down, where nothing else seems to reach.

Also, (and again I know this sounds totally ridiculous), I feel like I’ve seen things. Seen some real shit. I don’t know how else to explain it. There are situations with specific themes I hear about and I will feel as though I relate, as a fellow survivor. And then I will remember that it has never happened to me. I mean, its only in my head, but it still makes me feel guilty and like a fraud. Plus, I see shit in my dreams. I always have done ever since I can remember. I have the vividest, most fucked up dreams that I could describe and draw in detail most mornings. Maybe they’re the reason I feel like I’ve lived through actual shit? But how I imagine their detail and specifics, I don’t know.

I remember the first time I heard about a kid who claimed he had another life. We watched a documentary about it in a religious education class and I instantly discounted it. “He must’ve found all that out from somewhere, it isn’t possible.” But it stayed with me, bugging me for years, because I couldn’t really explain it. Then, as the years have gone by, I’ve always felt drawn to more stories like that. I mean there’s so many. I always felt a sense of… relation to these kids. Idk. I sound mad.

I feel like a fool even entertaining the idea to be honest. I’m literally a scientist and I have no faith. I’ve never believed in heaven or hell and logically, I just don’t think there’s any way there could be an afterlife. We’re just a bunch of organic matter that decays. How could one person possibly become someone else?! And yet, there’s still always this nagging feeling. Always in the back of my mind. I am not who I am now. I don’t know how else to explain it.

I don’t know. I don’t know what I believe. I just know there is so much more to me than I am able to ever become or express and the frustration from that is very real.