#can’t sleep
Wanna write some poetry but also its like half 2 in the morning and I should be sleeping. Also not sure what I wanna write about. See the thing is a lot of the time poems just like the words flow out of me but a lot of it lately has been about things I’ve been struggling with and I don’t really want to put myself in that headspace you know?
I definitely find writing like that cathartic on one hand but on the other it is very emotional and I definitely have some more shit I need to get off my chest but I think tonight is not a night for that. I’m having a relatively good day which is really nice for once I just can’t sleep and I seem to have regained my appetite again cos I cannot stop fucking eating it’s like I’m making up for the fact all week I’ve struggled to eat much/properly and now suddenly I just want to eat everything lol.
Insomnia is a bitch
Höre diese Stimmen, sehe diese Schatten vor mir. All das, lässt mich den Verstand verlieren. All das, bringt mir schlaflose Nächte. All das, hält mich vom Leben fern. Und all das, bringt mich zum Verzweifeln.
INSOMNIA
“My mind is a blank canvas; where there should be colorfully painted dreams is a heavy blackness. My eyes are as stationary as the silhouette of my bedside lamp, which is where they rest. When the sallow glow of the streetlamp behind it becomes shades of white, I know my night is over.
My mind flickers to the cupboard and the sleeping pills inside that my doctor prescribed. I don’t want them, I don’t want chemicals to “fix” me. I close my eyes and they almost sting like a wasp, opened for too long I suppose.”
— written by @lustfulawakenings (me) ✨
I kissed him to forget about you.
—it didn’t fucking work
missing shuji so much like come home i need to kiss you rn
you are not weak
for needing to rest.
you are not weak
for needing time
to sort through this.
you are not a burden
for having burdens
that you are learning
to lay down.
you are not a failure
for not reaching
the heights you thought
you’d reach by now.
you are who you are:
a living, breathing human being
who has a soul
in need of Truth and Grace
to make it through
these things.
and no matter how
you were made to feel,
feeling does not
make you weak.
you are free
to learn to seek
what your soul
truly needs.
morgan harper nichols